#some guy brought his 19 year old son on board like leave that kid alone !!!!!!

[shortviolet]

given that two of my worst fears are dying from asphyxiation and drowning, reading about that lost billionaire submarine is a very bad idea, but i cannot help but be baffled at every choice that was made for this expedition

[shawnjacksonsbs]

I know what I believe inside. I’ve already made up my mind. Here’s to you finding yours.   9-24-17

“I'm at war with the world cause I

Ain't never gonna sell my soul

I've already made up my mind

No matter what I can't be bought or sold” - Awake And Alive by Skillet

 It is Saturday morning at 7:30am. I am starting this entry today, basically, because I have a little time right now. I have had a very trying week with work (which, by the way, is no where near as stressful as it has ever been before), dealing with my kids, lawyers, and just wishing I could do more for my loved ones across the board. Such is life.

My youngest son flies back home today. I am going to miss him a lot. We are leaving a little early so we can have breakfast together before he leaves. His flight is at 12:15. I wasn’t suppose to work today. Scheduled the day off specifically for this reason. I am wearing my work clothes as I write though. lol

I will be dropping him off, then heading in to work to finish my job that I imagine will go over on hours because we didn’t get it done yesterday. I also have to work Sunday, which I agreed to, because it’s the only day I have available to go fix a job an ex-coworker messed up before he was let go. Temperamental customers need good customer service so. . . I am grateful that I am that guy.

By end of day yesterday, between calls to lawyers, calls with my son (and new issues we didn’t know were there), and work, I was pretty stressed out. I had a headache from stress. That hasn’t happened to me in a very long time. I was in one of those moods where I was wishing for some one to come at me crazy, maybe some idiot in a fit of road rage, for example, to step up so I could take my aggravation out. Lol Also grateful that opportunity didn’t present itself. Thank you universe.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that, although I have enough going on sometimes to write about a bunch of negative shit, I don’t. I mean not really. I try to focus more on the positive end of whatever it is, when I write, and when I speak for that matter. My overall quality of life depends on it.

Hope, perseverance, and most of all gratitude are the ingredients I have found that make a true love for life. I don’t care if it gets old hearing it. Gratitude does reciprocate, always.

Do you know one huge difference between me now, and me about 6 or 7 years ago? Today when I get dozens of calls in a day, it isn't for dope related deals in the making. It is for or from loved (which I don’t ignore) or co-workers that blow up my phone to ask me advice for their jobs, respectively. I am that guy now too! Gratitude by and far is what makes the new Shawn, every bit of what you read. You can ask just about anyone who knows me in real life.

I love my life, and everything that makes my life mine, from my family and friends, to my job, to my struggles (although during them not so much lol).

Time for us to head to the airport so, I will finish this up tomorrow.~

~So I am back, although it is about 8:30pm on Sunday. The universe tried to test the limits of what I wrote above, which was yesterday morning. It has been a long trying, very frustrating, and stressful couple of days.

For what it’s worth I’m still here, albeit wore out and beat down, but still kicking ass.

A real quick rundown; first I had an airport breakfast with my son, then because he’s 19 yrs old now, they wouldn’t allow me to go back with him like they always have. Now I knew it was going to tug my heart strings a bit when he left, but emotionally it hit me a little harder than I thought it would, maybe because I couldn’t go back and see him off. Then, on the verge of the watery eyes, I focused in on heading straight to work to take my mind off it. Missing family, friends, and loved ones is one thing, watching as they leave is something different entirely.

Messaged my helper to make sure he was going to be ready and, of course, he decided to not work. Everyone at my work knows that calling in on a Saturday is the worst, because that’s the only day and time it’s too late to try and find another helper. Therefore I worked alone on a job that should have taken half the time. I didn’t clock out until 8:45pm. I started after lunch and still got over 8 hrs. lol it is what it is.

Finishing up the job just before dark, and it was awesome I might add, when the home owner came out to look at the work and although impressed, she didn’t like the way I had to frame up one line because it didn’t match the other side from the inside. At first she started to get ugly about it, but I very quickly explained the whys, and de-escalated the situation. We spoke for a few minutes on how to accommodate her desire with what I could do without redoing the whole line, and we came up with a solution, but it was already dark and too late to complete it. Then, in the complete dark (like not even a street light on the block) I loaded all the tear out om the truck by myself and headed back to the shop at 8:15pm. Needless to say, I was exhausted. I wasn’t even supposed to work Saturday at all, but when my helper said he would I agreed to go back and finish for her, because we wouldn’t be there that long. Boy was I wrong. Lol

Then today. I kind of expected most of what had to be done on this job, which just so happens to be a job done by a guy who was let go from the company. His quality of work just wasn’t quite up to our standards. Anyway, there were quite a few things that needed to be fixed, adjusted, or completely redone, and I knew going in that the customer was a little upset about the work, and the time it took to get back and fix it, etc. I was prepared for that though. After meeting with her and coming up with a plan to that we came together on, we set out to get it done. I worked with someone else today, which helped. It still took us all damn day though, but at least she was pleased with the work, and signed off completely. She wasn’t an unpleasant woman, just wanted what she paid for. It was a long ass day nonetheless.

Even after I wrote everything above from yesterday morning, if you would have asked me about anything going on during my time at work last night, I may have snapped out. Lol I am still blessed and still grateful. None of what happens to me in a day, or a weekend negates any of my overall quality of life. I love the fact that I don’t have to live in yesterday, or in those negative thoughts or feelings for very long, like ever again! This is the best gift I have given myself in the last 4 years, since turning my life around. And writing about in here, and those of you who read it regularly, are the biggest tools for helping me maintain that contentment.

And none of the negativity that I lived through over this weekend, ever brought dope in to mind, not in the slightest. Life is beautiful guys. It truly is.

I guess I will wrap this up now. I could probably write more, but I think I have made my point, and I still might make it to bed by 9:30 (which is my “bedtime” most days lol).

Please share the love and the laughter with the world, and don’t forget to indulge in that same love and laughter for yourself as well. I know I plan to.

Until next week;

“I'm awake I'm alive

Now I know what I believe inside

Now it's my time

I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

Here, right here

Right now, right now

Stand my ground and never back down

I know what I believe inside

I'm awake and I'm alive” - Awake And Alive by Skillet

[ssugawarakoshii]

Random stuff no one cares about (fuck u jo)

@mysmoldarkfictionalsons told me to do this so it here it is 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Milk than cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Pages of homework, pens, tickets, earphones

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Alone or with really little milk

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yup

6: do you keep plants? Two cactus

7: do you name your plants? Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Does editing count?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? All three? But I’ll say side?

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? “Stitch”

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Talking about 80s voltron with Ce

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? It’d be small, full of our stuff and a comfy sofa for us to cuddle

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! There is a planet that may be made entirely out of diamonds

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Rose gold/purple/blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. When they got drunk in the village party and they tried jumping to the river from the bridge and I had to take care of them all (I am the one to bring this up btw)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Kind of? And just random ideas and stuff (ok and also dates and shit)

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Green

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. It’s blue with starts on it and it’s completely destroyed by now, the zip doesn’t even work anymore and it’s all full of scratches rip

22: are you a morning person? Depends tbh

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Watch a movie/show/anime, read or edit

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? I think yes?

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? An old house… I don’t usually break into places

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My Panama jack shoes rip

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Berries

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? When she’s nervous, Eva is always trying to grab someone’s hand without realising AND IT’S SO CUTE

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yup

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks, but not that much? In winter and all they’re great but in summer I prefer my feet to be free

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. A guy in the village party (again) kept following us around, so Angel went and asked him what happened. The guy then just turned around like half pouting and handed us his empty hand and was like “I wanted to give you cookies”. And we ran. The lesson is, kids, never drink or do drugs if you don’t want to end up like that man

33: what’s your fave pastry? Orejas de carnaval con chocolate

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It was called Eric and it was a white dog with brown spots and it’s somewhere in my room, im pretty sure

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yeah but in the end I always end up using the most normal stuff

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Oh wonder

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate it when people like crack their knuckles? Nope don’t do that in front of me I beg you. Also people that walk slow… move dammit

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? The chain my grandmother gave me for my communion. It has an image of virgin Maria as a child and my name engraved and she told me my grandfather had always wanted to give me a chain like that one

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? El laberinto de los espíritus

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Not really

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Silvia…

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Like a week ago? Lmao it didn’t last long

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yup.. doesn’t mean they work

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Are you a son of Poseidon? Cause you got me all wet (I’m gonna go bury myself now)

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Cauliflower. Take it away

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? My biggest fear was the world suddenly ending… yep…. I was weird. Maybe it isn’t the same but yoU CAN’T TELL ME THAT ISN’T SCARY

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Yes but I usually cant buy them which leads to the part where I can’t remember which one was the last I bought

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Do snow globes count? I have some of them and I love them

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I’m not mentioning the person but photograph

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The glasses one? Is that from this year or last? Ah fuck it

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No, yes, no, yes Weird af but strangely great

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Grandma

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Breaking a pencil (the thing we were discussing was that I didn’t have enough strength to break it okay so I got all hulk mode and broke it)

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? people that do a lot of hand gestures (they remind me of myself tho)

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It makes me feel like a psycho murdered :’) nah kidding it makes me feel nostalgic AND WHO DOESN’T RE-ENACT THE LYRICS SMH

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Jandro is the Vodka aunt and Jo is the wine mom (although she is Vodka but she is way more mom so fuck it)

59: what’s your favorite myth? Persephone’s myth or Icarus one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I love it and my fave authors (cause I can’t choose poems) are Bécquer, Góngora, Rubén Darío and Pablo Neruda

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never given really stupid gifts? My gifts are good *gasps* and my cousin gave me a clown nose once

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Sometimes I drink orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I am very fussy and it’s the one thing I’ll always have tidy af

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Ugly grey ugh

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Do my online friends count? Maybe?

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? It’d have blue and white that’s all I know

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sleepy. That’s it.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Cold and grey but with snow tho

69: what are your favorite board games? To be honest I don’t know?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nah (I was going to, then backed down you see)

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I don’t know, I’m more of a coffee girl

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yep

73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my cheeks/lip until it bleeds and scratching my scalp and ears until it bleeds too (que sanguinolenta por favor)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Love

75: tell us about your pets! A bird, his name is Winnie and he’s a little shit but I love him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Studying history

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow (I’ve never had pink lol)

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I’m neutral ground

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Joana’s video for my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Violet and white and yes I chose it because they’re two of my faves colours there’s nothing feel about it

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Beer bottle

82: are/were you good in school? I am good thanks very much

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Idk

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes and here’s a thing about me I cannot by the sake of my life choose favorites in anything don’t make me do it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Depends?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Tbh I’d say the Godfather (can’t really think of any other rn rip why do you put me in such compromises?)

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? No??

89: are you close to your parents? Meh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. All I have to say is it has history, culture and it’s beautiful sorry I don’t want to make this long

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Dublin lololol

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Drown it in cheese bitch give me all of it

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Ponytail/bun

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? A classmate on the 28th

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Doing my Spanish project and editing

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastination my dear

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, cancer, Ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I’m not sure? Sometime in December with my father and yes

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Light by sleeping at last100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future, I don’t want to relive my past thanks

I don’t have anyone to tag (my only friends are the tagger (fuck you) and the other person she tagged ( @nekolance why) So bye bye do it if you want to