#someday id like to go back to writing primarily original fiction but i wanna try to get a solid following before then

[orcelito]

ok i found a scene that’s very Akechi-core, aka dealing with the stuff that makes him & my oc Nico so goddamn Similar. scene explanation & excerpt under the cut

ok so in this scene, Nico’s 11 years old. it’s the morning after an awful night where his grandfather (abusive douchebag) broke his shoulder. he was taken to the clinic by his mom, who’s always avoided him out of fear of who he came from (his shitty father who fucked off to Wherever after getting her pregnant). and So. this scene. where nico is so confused and so, So sad. 

While Nico hated the sling he was stuck with, he had to admit that it helped. The walk to the clinic had been incredibly uncomfortable, as every jostle shot another wave of pain through him. Now, the sling kept his arm blessedly still. The only pain was just the constant ache of the injury. Nico was starting to get used to that, at least.

The two continued to walk in silence, just like before.

Nico was still confused, though. Nothing about this made sense. After a brief look to make sure no one was immediately around them, Nico asked, “Why did you stop him?”

He was careful to keep his gaze trained forward, watching the people they passed on the streets.

His mother didn’t immediately answer. She was silent for long enough that Nico thought she just wouldn’t answer, but she surprised him by simply stating, “He was going to kill you.”

Nico frowned. “And why did you care? I thought you’d wanted me dead ages ago.”

She sighed. “It’s not… It’s not like that.”

Nico tried to keep his face blank through his confusion. “It’s not? Then why do you always look like you’ve swallowed a bug when I’m around? It seemed pretty clear to me.”

“Nicostrato, I just… It’s hard to explain.”

“Well, try.”

She was silent for another few moments. Nico glanced over to her and found her with a pensive look to her face. His lips thinned. He looked away once more to passively examine the shops along the road.

When his mother spoke again, it was slow. “You just… look like him. Every time I look at you, I see his eyes. Even knowing that you’re not him, I can’t help but feel… Uncomfortable.”

Nico swallowed as he pretended that didn’t feel like a punch to the chest. “It’s news to me that you know I’m not him.”

“Nicostrato…” Her tone was almost disapproving. It felt like how a normal mother would talk.

It made Nico feel guilty. “… sorry. I just. You’ve never helped me before, not even when I got that concussion. You’ve always hated being around me. It’s always felt like you didn’t care if I lived or died, so I’m just… confused, I guess.”

She was quiet once more. It took a bit longer for her to speak, this time. “Those times weren’t ever as bad as this one. Even when you were terrified, you never broke down like you did last night. Seeing you begging so desperately like that, I just… couldn’t leave it alone.”

It made sense, but Nico was still confused. He just didn’t understand why she cared at all. For some reason, he didn’t want to ask her again.

Nico let the silence stretch on. He tightened his grip on his coat and looked down towards the ground. He saw two sets of feet walking side by side, one bigger than the other. The feet of a parent and a child.

Nico thought of another question, though he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know the answer to it. He felt it still needed to be asked.

Nico glanced up to her, then forward again. Hesitantly, he asked, “Do you hate me?”

She let out an audible breath at that. “… I don’t know.”

And that was that. Nico knew it was the likely answer, but it still hurt. He almost wished she’d said yes. That way, he wouldn’t have the possibility of mother dangled tortuously above his head. It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no.

They would continue to live on in that weird state of avoidance. That is what that answer said.

And sure enough, when they reached home, they went their separate ways once more.

If Nico spent some time crying alone on his bed, he could just pretend it was from the pain in his arm.