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#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over
steviescrystals
·
18 days
Text
i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school
#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away
#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute
#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with
#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over
#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job
#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people
#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie
#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)
#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired
#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family
#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying
#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home
#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do
#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out
#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years
#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year
#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out
#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times
#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable
#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something
#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later
#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space
#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year
#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends
#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything
#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything
#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know
#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to
#vent
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