#someone is trying to hide behind their religion as an excuse for hatred again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

msladyrosa · 3 years

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I'm here to tell a story that my heart is screaming at me to tell.

This is me. I fucking hate myself, just as much as I fake loving me. I don't think I've ever been this contempt as I was in these photos. I'm awkward and I fake confidence by throwing sarcastic and snarky comments. My coping mechanism consists of lying and just hiding behind my fake me. I've created a confident, pretty and delusional front that isn't me, but it's just as real as the raw version. My raw is ugly and disgusting and I hate it. I hid it and for the love of the non existent God there is, I wish I didn't have the raw side. I write in my skin, because if I went back to cutting, then I would no longer have pretty skin that people can love. I love eating, but I don't do it, because of the fear of losing my 36,28,42 measurements. I'm suicidal, but heavens forgive if I make a joke about it in order to cope with my insane itch to make my skin purple. My arm hair is soft and the last time I shaved I was scared that someone might see the thin, white lines that are underneath. My body is sexy as fuck, but Heavens forgive me if I actually feel comfortable in it. Thoughts of "they'll be fine without me" or "it's better if I'm not here" are drowned by the words I told someone who was a suicidal as me, "killing yourself would not make the pain disappear, you're just passing it on to someone else". I'm such a fucking hypocrite, or is it just a twisted way of actual introspection? What is wrong with the way I walk funny because I'm dizzy for the lack of food is that people notice. Oh great deity in the sky, please allow them to notice, but forgive them is they dare to ask what's wrong. I look happy and relaxed in the photos, hell yes, but not I'm an anxious mess that's writing this in the middle of a mental breakdown. Parents are never the one's to blame, no forgive them for not validating their children's emotions and struggles. No, strict parenthood creates strong-willed, rightful and successful people that think of themselves as worthless, weak, pathetic excuses. Oh we lie, and we lie good. Ask actors if they had strict parents... You'll find none, why? Because strict parents will inforce you an internalized fear of failure outside of social norms and acting is "a waste of time" to their standards. Support doesn't come from the right sized bra, but it sure as fucking hell is welcoming to be held and somehow relived from a burden you didn't fucking asked for. I was so happy ya'll. I was in cloud nine. That day I had a date with a guy I like that I thought was way out of my league, I lied my way through his pseudo intellectual remarks and he believed it.

We know how to lie so good and so true that eventually you lose track of your actual motive to do it in the first place. Society wants you perky and pretty, fuck yeah they do. How do I get all perky and pretty when I only see disgusting, overdosed surroundings? It's easy to get worried when you finally realize somethings not right. It wasn't right to be kneeling at someone's feet screaming a nasty and raspy wail of pain. 10 years it took me to fucking do that and yet nothing really changed. Now I'm just looked at with pity and the quizzical look that can only mean "when is this one gonna blow up again?" Oh, honey, I won't, you're just worried that you're just realizing this now. It's easy to be outside and just stay that way.

I was so happy, all the time. I was forced to lie in order to move forward. You love me? Yeah, as long as you earn it. Are you proud? Sure, as long as you don't fail. Am I okay because I feel like this? Well, it's fine as long as you keep it in. It's beautiful. "As long as..." my reality had always been subjected to a condition, and clause, a fucking constant reminder that I have to earn my happiness. I have to earn my own idea of self worth that is diluted through your standards. I have to earn reassurance from the people I surround myself. I must assume the best case scenario but I can't be surprised when it's the worst outcome.

Having loved a mad human made me realize how flawed I am. I was happy. So, so happy I forgot I wasn't. I tortured myself through endless nights of doubt, starvation with a full kitchen. Sleepless nights contemplating self harm and then decided against it because I had work and the cute client at work would see how damaged I was. I tortured myself with the idea of loneliness in a see of people, only to realize I've been in that see long enough that I grew a tail and fins. I was plagued my guilt because I didn't love them, but when exactly did it go from happy to uttermost bullshit? I was so happy I forgot what sadness was.

I was so happy it started hurting. Hurting when I failed to do something. It was excruciating when I was not able to buy a car because I had noticed I had spent my money of pleasing those who swore they'd provide for me. I was in pain when I showered and instead of singing, I just blasted music loud enough so that nobody heard my hyperventilating bitch ass. I was in so much pain that I welcomed it as my way of happiness. I loved my pain, because I've had it my whole life.

I had it when I was in forth grade and in order to fit in I had to go a sneak around to kiss a boy, and I didn't want to. It was there when I was accused of fighting other girls, but in reality I was trying to establish my self worth, so I was punished. In fifth grade I loved a boy so much I had written beautiful words to describe how much I loved his smile, and so he said I was stalking him and he got scared; 2 months later I was in a shrinks chair talking about it; fast-forward to last night, that same boy explained to me how much he wanted to fuck me now that he had lost weight. Middle school was terrible. Seventh grade, I was constantly degrading myself because another pretty blonde chick was only my friend when she could laugh through me. I insulted a perfectly great teacher because she noticed my self destructive behavior. Eighth grade came and I was lost with a blonde boy. He was beautiful and I was not. He was friends with the girl that swore fielty to me and he chose someone else and because he chose the pretty pale skin on someone else, I settled for the kid that wantedto finger me in the bleachers during recess. Ninth grade came and I was failing classes, parents were strict and hurtful, but they aren't to blame for my shortcomings. That's when I found myself in the arms of the pretty blonde thing I had fallen for. The pretty girl had him in public, I could only have him when we snuck around and he would hold me and kiss me like holding on to his life line. I was letting him touch me, but my self hatred didn't know no boundaries so I suck to my knees and gave my first blowjob at the top of staircase wearing only a lazy purple bra and the school uniform and the shame I'll forever wear because I did it without wanting to, but because I was expected to.

I was so happy to be out of there, that I ended up sinking deeper into my lie. I was smart, new and vulnerable. That's how I met the wholesome boy I called my first boyfriend who was nice and respectful, but he was as ugly as they come. I was a queen to him, but he was looking more like the ogre on the fairy tale and there came my vanity, my ego, my selfishness. I was brutal and I couldn't care less. High school started with a bang with the boy I played with, and when he got to close to my actual raw person, I kicked him out with a bang and he cried. I just stood there not knowing how to react, so I just went on to the next person I could lead on and play. Junior year I knew was difficult, and a black boy with a nice boy and a promising basketball future came around, I once again craved approval and degraded myself to it. That's how I ended up sneaking around 10 minutes before my parents picked me up. In the second floor, I'd found myself again on my knees, and expected to give a blowjob in exchange for attention, and like before, I was hidden, and I expected to be I had tears in my eyes, but because of my shame. Senior year came in, and the black boy with the attractive body was replaced with another, but this one only had pretty eyes and the promise of spoiling me with his family's money. Once again, I said yes when he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, at least this time I was not hidden, but I was back in the cycle and I ditched my best friend in a movie theater so that I would be in the backseat on a Dodge, sucking my pseudo boyfriend's dick with tears on my eyes, not becauseofhis size, but becausethe disgust towards myself. Like before, I was expected to do so, and so I did.

Heavens above forgive the religion to blame women for sin and lust, but instead punish us for the boys who couldn't keep their dicks to themselves. The end of senior year came, and I was relieved, but then I fell for the guy my parents liked. Humble background, similar interests, and a promise of stability. I was ditched because for him I was a whore and his friends told him so, I accepted the insults and insinuations.

I was so happy, I forgot the rest. College was great and a religious nut job, a platonic love, a semi smart dipshit with the complex of being over everyone in experience, a quiet mature man that treated me with decency, the suicidal broken guy who needed healing #1 and the suicidal broken guy who needed healing #2, later, here I am.

I was so happy in these pictures, I had no idea was contemplating my own disappearance. I write this with migrane, blue ink from a ballpoint in my thighs, with nostalgic memories of moments where my mind wasn't this crowded. I was so happy it hurt. I guess that my logic dictates that happiness is painful and that my pain can bring me joy, but fuck I was so happy.

I had everything. I was pretty, I was smart, I was important. I'm still all those things, but right this very second, I'm happy, and painful so. Heavens above forgive for I have sinned...

I dared to fail... I sinned

I dared to fall into lust... I sinned

I dared to judge... I sinned

I fucking dared to wake up every miserable day... I had sinned.

I dared to be painfully happy... I sinned

I lied... and so that's my greatest sin of all.

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frederickwiddowson · 4 years

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Exodus 22:1-24 comments: Israelites’ civil law cont.

Exodus 22:1 ¶ If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. 2 If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him. 3 If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft. 4 If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double. 5 If a man shall cause a field or vineyard to be eaten, and shall put in his beast, and shall feed in another man’s field; of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own vineyard, shall he make restitution. 6 If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution.

Laws regarding theft, including theft of growing food and damage to property are covered here. Again, this was to be the law that governed the Hebrew people. This can be thought of in the context of God’s standard set forth in the Ten Commandments, further defined and illuminated by Christ and by the apostle, Paul. This is part of the law for governance of these people on a day to day basis, but it does further illuminate God’s standard in the Ten Commandments of not stealing, on a practical level.

Exodus 22:7 ¶ If a man shall deliver unto his neighbour money or stuff to keep, and it be stolen out of the man’s house; if the thief be found, let him pay double. 8 If the thief be not found, then the master of the house shall be brought unto the judges, to see whether he have put his hand unto his neighbour’s goods. 9 For all manner of trespass, whether it be for ox, for ass, for sheep, for raiment, or for any manner of lost thing, which another challengeth to be his, the cause of both parties shall come before the judges; and whom the judges shall condemn, he shall pay double unto his neighbour. 10 If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing it: 11 Then shall an oath of the LORD be between them both, that he hath not put his hand unto his neighbour’s goods; and the owner of it shall accept thereof, and he shall not make it good. 12 And if it be stolen from him, he shall make restitution unto the owner thereof. 13 If it be torn in pieces, then let him bring it for witness, and he shall not make good that which was torn. 14 And if a man borrow ought of his neighbour, and it be hurt, or die, the owner thereof being not with it, he shall surely make it good. 15 But if the owner thereof be with it, he shall not make it good: if it be an hired thing, it came for his hire.

Here are laws of responsibility and accountability for using the property of others.

Exodus 22:16 ¶ And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. 18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. 19 Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death. 20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. 21 Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt. 22 Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. 23 If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; 24 And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.

If you remember the fierce and treacherous vengeance enacted by the children of Jacob over Dinah’s rape we can see a modification which would prevent vendettas and blind retribution. Remember that custom dictated that such a crime was against the family, the tribe, and the idea of the rights of the woman were not necessarily part of it.

A man who seduced an unmarried woman was required to ‘make it right’ by marrying her. If her father refused the offer of marriage he had to pay a dowry. It appears from another context that the dowry was a price paid to the father.

1Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.

Verse 18 has to do with the treatment of witches. First, suffer in this context means to allow or permit. See an earlier example;

Exodus 12:23 For the LORD will pass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the LORD will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you.

A witch, in the Bible, is much more than a folk herbalist or some suburbanite American teen who plays with sticks and worships nature. A witch in the Bible was someone who communed with spirits, tried to speak to the dead, and did other idolatrous things that were in opposition to God’s will that He alone should be trusted and relied upon. Note here the context in the following verse as synonyms to witch are presented.

Deuteronomy 18:10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, 11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. 12 For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

So, we see a witch is linked with those who offer human sacrifice, or read the guts of a dead animal to tell the future, a conjurer who looks for special times like when the stars are lined up or some type of combination of dates and portents in the sky making a desired thing propitious like today’s fortune-teller, someone who uses chants and spells to try to attain a desired end, or who tries to consult with spirits of ancestors dead or other spirits to learn information that is not available to others. God regards these occultic practices as opposed to our acceptance of His sovereignty alone.

Magicians and conjurers often believed they could control the gods with spells and chants. The magicians in Egypt claimed to be able to compel the highest gods to do their bidding and even threatened them with destruction if they didn’t comply. In India sorcerers were said to be able to command their trinity of Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu with their incantations. Of course, the God of the Bible would reject such nonsense even if some Christians today believe that things like the so-called Lord’s Prayer entitles them to something.

This can be extended to us today in regard to a Christian seeking special power of his own, trying to exercise a “gift” he or she pretends to, seeking power for themselves to glorify themselves. Beware of the Christian who emphasizes a special and powerful gift that is unique to them placing them on a higher level than others, which, while we all have our own special gifts, none of them make us more important than another. We are none of us shamans or wizards. See Romans 12. For instance, beware of the person who insists they can tell by a handshake if a person is saved or not or the one who just knows in their heart, they say, your spiritual condition just by meeting you without you saying a word or doing a thing. The witch or wizard seeks power, special spiritual power for themselves, apart from God even if they use God as an excuse to hide their wickedness behind.

God also likens disobedience to Him as witchcraft.

1Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

Witchcraft is also linked by association, for Christians, for everything from rivalries based on envy, emulations, to a party person, or reveler. It is a work of the flesh, not appropriate for Christians although we aren’t called to kill anyone for such things.

Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Remember that what is shown here in Exodus is the civil Law and the ceremonial Law for the ancient Hebrews, not God’s commands for the Christian after Christ’s resurrection. No Christian is justified in killing a witch.

Verse 19 showed that bestiality was forbidden. This being stated reveals to us that it was practiced. Not only did ancient Canaanite religion promote heterosexual and homosexual temple prostitution apparently bestiality was not uncommon.

Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

Leviticus 20:15 And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast.16 And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Deuteronomy 27:21 Cursed be he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.

There are Hindu depictions of bestiality, for instance, on the temple complex at Khajuraho in India, implying sex with gods who have taken on the form of animals although some Hindu scriptures forbid such practices.

Some authors have pointed out that cave drawings indicate that bestiality was not uncommon among primitive man. We who believe the Bible know that any cave dwellers were part of the dispersal of families around the world initiated by God at the attempted building of Babel.

Ancient Egypt, Babylon, and Rome all had proscriptions against it while, at the same, time regarding such practices in their mythologies and perhaps some religious practices. Ancient Greece did not have restrictions against it. Some Arab tribes practiced it as a cultural custom.

Verse 20 condemned idolatry. For the Christian, the Holy Spirit goes even further to say that covetousness in the context of sexuality is a form of idolatry.

Colossians 3:5 ¶ Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: 6 For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: 7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.

So, you can see the link between covetousness, idolatry, adultery, and fornication as the dissatisfaction with one’s own mate is a sign of a wicked heart and even, if you will, false worship.

Mercy and acting charitably toward foreigners, widows, and orphans: the politically powerless, was an essential standard. So it is the basis of religious practice for the Christian as far as God is concerned.

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

A stranger is a foreigner or alien.

Genesis 17:8 And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God…12 And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.

Genesis 23:4 I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a buryingplace with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.

Exodus 2:22 And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.

Exodus 12:19 Seven days shall there be no leaven found in your houses: for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he be a stranger, or born in the land.

You can see by God’s threat here that He is adamant that such people as these not be abused in any way lest His wrath be incurred on the abuser.

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alrosiee-blog · 7 years

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KISSCUT by Karin Slaughter

Kisscut is a sequel of the first book Blindsighted in the Grant County Series written by Karin. Karin Slaughter grew up in a small south Georgia town and has been writing stories and novel since she was a child. She is the author of the bestselling novels Blindsighted, Kisscut, A Faint Cold Fear and Indelible. The book is first published in the United Kingdomin 2002 by Century

Kisscut is praised by different authors like Michael Connelly saying, “Kisscut is a great read. Karin Slaughter deserves all the praise she gets for her razor-sharp plotting and forensic detail. The crime fiction at its finest.” John Connolly saying, “With Blindsighted Karin Slaughter left a great many mystery writers looking anxiously over their shoulders. With Kisscut, she leaves most of them behind.”

Dr. Sara Linton a local pediatrician at Children’s hospital and her ex-husband Jeffrey Tolliver Grant County’s chief of police seemed to be moving on from his disloyalty. However, Sara is still unsure if she really wants to start a new life with Jeffrey. Saturday, Sara and Jeffrey met at the ice skating rink for a date. When Jeffrey arrived he and Sara talked and decided to go by the bathroom. Unfortunately, his pager went off meaning someone break-in and then excused himself because he’s got to use the payphone. Sara stayed at the bathroom just when Jenny Weaver’s bag brushed against her chest. Jenny, one of Sara’s patients at the Children’s hospital. The teenager seemed startled and immediately made her retreat into a crowd before Sara can act on her instinct and check what is wrong. Sara made her way inside the bathroom and as she put her hand on the doorknob she felt something sticky then she recognized what it is. She looked down at her shirt where Jenny Weaver’s backpack had brushed against her and was startled to see a narrow streak of blood across her chest. Sara heads into the bathroom and makes a gruesome discovery. Outside the rink, Jeffrey calms himself as he made a call to the police station. Thinking about Sara inside the skating rink taking herself out on their date. As he leaned on the wall trying to stay calm he saw a group of teenagers laughing and passing cigarrete between them. They looked fine not until Jenny came on the scene pointing a gun on Mark Patterson, a troubled teenage boy. She is threatening to shoot him. Jeffrey furiously made his way on the scene and when Jenny notices Jeffrey she tells him to either shoot her, or she will shoot Mark. Sara then arrives, telling Jenny that the person in the bathroom is fine, but Jenny doesn’t believe her. She yells at Mark, telling him it is his fault, and he viciously tells her that he will see her in hell. No matter what Sara and Jeffrey say, Jenny won’t let the gun drop, and when Jenny counted five seconds to shoot, Jeffrey is forced to shoot the teenage girl. Jeffrey is shattered and suffers from the knowledge that he shot a child. Jeffrey and Sara’s night is spoiled and they are both miserable. Sara is heartbroken by her autopsy of the baby that was left in the rink’s bathroom. The might be alive outside the womb if only its mother not tried to flush it down the toilet. Sara had tried to reassemble the baby from the parts Jenny Weaver had left in the bathroom. Still, it was not enough.On the otherhand, her autopsy on Jenny reveals horrific mutilation and discovered that Jenny hasn’t given birth to a child. They become furious on who is the real mother but is sure that Mark Patterson is the father of the child. Sara and Jeffrey need to find out what happened to Jenny and why she desperately wanted to kill Mark Patterson. Lena Adams, a detective on Jeffrey’s police force, is still recovering from her horrific rape trauma and from the death of her sister Sibyl. She is unable to forget those bad events that she went through. The trauma is hunting her and made her weak, the death of her beloved sister made her miserable only through her uncle, Hank Norton’s determination for her to live that she is still functioning. He wants her to talk to a Pastor in their church, Dave Fine, to get some counselling but she constantly finds excuses to not go. Jeffrey and Lena head to Mark Patterson’s house to talk to him about the incident but they only found Tom and Grace Patterson, Mark’s parents. Tom brought Mark at their house and allowed him to get interviewed by the police without them. Tom, is obviously a bully and has no patience for his son. They are open about the fact that Mark attacked his sister Lacey, who is away until the shooting drama is resolved, and that the police had to intervene. Mark is a strange boy, at times he’s broken about Jenny’s death and her hatred of him and at times cocky and insolent. He seems very sad that his mother Grace is about to die from breast cancer, but that is mostly it. Lena and Jeffrey leave without any clear answers. Jeffrey talks to Sara and asked her to accompany Dottie Weaver, Jenny’s mother to the interview. He also send in Lena for the inaguration of Dottie thinking that she wouldn’t want to talk to the man who killed her daughter. The interview starts off well, with Lena getting the sympathy from Dottie for her rape ordeal. Lena starts asking if maybe Jenny was involved in some scandals at school, because her autopsy shows that she is, and Dottie gets very angry. Telling them that Jenny is such a gentle kid that she is doing good at school. She starts screaming when Lena shows her Jenny’s autopsy results that made Sara very angry because of Lena’s inappropriate manner and Dottie went out leaving them hanging. Jeffrey got a call from Sylacauga, his hometown, saying that her mother is in the hospital. He went there to personally check if her mother is okay. He also got time to visit Possum’s Cat which is owned by his bestfriend. Inside he was looking at the kindergartens outside when a man approached him pointing on one of the little girls saying it was his sexually. Jeffrey got furious when he realized that the man is a pedophile and he beat him up but Jeffrey saw a tattoo between the man’s thumb and index finger, a heart tattoo that is the same as Mark Patterson. The man told him that the tattoo symbolizes love, their love for kids sexually and told him that there is a particular website where little girls and boys are sexual models for magazines. Jeffrey punch him again and left. Lena and Brad Stephens, a police, was assigned to conduct an interview at Robert E. Lee Highschool where Jenny studied. They checked Jenny’s locker, talked to her teachers and at the library they talked to the group of students who must have known Jenny. There are 6 teeneagers, the three girls said that Jenny was a slut because there is a rumor that she slept with all the guys she have known. They said that she rides a black Thunderbird car and her only friend is Lacey and Mark. When the girls left the boys remain and told them that Jenny is a real slut, that each of them slept with her and that Mark brought Jenny there. The next day, Sara talked to Nick and he told her about purity. It is called Female Genital Mutilation and is practiced in the Middle East and parts of Africa. It is tied somehow to religion where female genitals and sewn shut and leave and opening for her time of the month. After the procedure the legs are bind together to promote healing and Sara realized that Jenny must have did it to herself because she wants to be pure again. Sara was interupted when Nelly told Sara that Lacey was there and is acting strange. She took Lacey to one of their rooms and talked to her but the girl cannot speak for she is so sick and terrified. A little while, Mark arrived at the clinic looking for her sister Lacey. Sara hid Lacey and talked to Mark but he is to angry and when Sara tried to stop him from finding Lacey, he punched her. Lacey run outside and Mark is running behind her when suddenly a black Thunderbird car snatched Lacey and Mark got arrested by Lena. Jeffrey and Lena start searching for Lace but as they are searching deeper and deeper, they only get more questions. One day the police arrested a man that delivers illegal magazines containing child pornography. Jeffrey used him to set up the others. They waited for another pedophile to deliver magazine and when it happened they immediately arrested the man but Jeffrey was startled to see Dave Fine, the church pastor to deliver child pornography magazines. He got arrested and during the inaguration he confessed that he used the church van to deliver magazines and he only did it because he was forced to. He said that Dottie Weaver forced him or else she will tell his family about him doing sexual things with kids. He also gave Jeffrey an address on where Dottie might hid Lacey. Nick and Jeffrey immediately went to the address with Dave Fine, they found a small house with windows tightly shut. They forced to go inside and found a little girl dancing to the music looking so innocent. They keep searching the house and found a room filled with child pornography magazines, also a little boy hiding at the cabinet looking terrified. Nick searched in the attic yet found nothing but on his way down he fall and discovered that there is something under the floor. There they discovered that there is a hole under and found Lacey Patterson lying there looking miserable and sick. Jeffrey then heard footsteps running outside, he ran behind and he was frozen as soon as he recognized that it is Dottie. Dottie ran fast before Jeffrey could do anything. Jeffrey told Ben and Lena to bring Mark to his home, take a bath and let him visit her dying mother at the hospital. Lena talked to Mark and soon thereafter Mark tells Lena the horrific things he is being subjected to because he knew that Lena feels the same but then Mark felt like she does not understand him so he attempts suicide. Luckily, Lena and Brad gets to save him and immediately rushed him to the hospital. Jeffrey set up to arrest Dottie Weaver but she sent other man to get the deliveries and when Dottie is the one to get the deliveries the police are not there so until the end Dottie Weaver escaped, Grace Patterson died amd discovered that she is the mother of the baby flushed in the toilet, Lacey is traumatized after being abducted and Mark is comatosed after trying to commit suicide.

1. How did you experienced the book? Were you engaged immediately or did it take you a while before you “get into it”? How did you feel reading it?

Reading a thriller it would really take time before you exactly get into it. As of me, since I am not a fan of reading novels before it really took a while but by the time I get into it, I got swayed. I kept reading like its the most amazing thing to do. I was amused by the story because it is not some typical crime story, it really changes my perspective towards a particular thing. I got confused sometimes but since its a crime fiction and its my first time reading one I really encouraged myself to keep on reading and I feel amazed by myself for actually completing and understanding the book.

2. Describe the main characters-personality traits, motivations, inner qualites. Sara Linton is a local pediatrician at the Children’s Hospital. She is divorced to her ex husband Jeffrey. As a pediatrician she really love kids and treats them like her own children since she is incapable of bearing her own child. Jeffrey Tolliver is Sara’s ex husband. He is also Grant County’s chief of police. She got divorced with Sara for his infidelity but soon after he is winning her heart back. He loves his job, he loves serving the people in their town. Lena Adams is a detective under Jeffrey’s police force. She was traumatized from her horrifying rape ordeal. She loves her job but her trauma keeps haunting her and ruins her reputation.

3.Do main characters change by the end of the story ? Support you answer.

The main characters remained good. At the end of the story they still has fear for the Law and solve cases in accordance to the law.

4. Is the plot engaging-does the story interest you? Support your answer.

The plot is extraordinary. It is relentless, full of surprises and twists. It really interest me bacause the plot, the events, and the characterization is well constructed. The book itself was praised by authors for its successful story.

5. What main ideas-themes-does the author explore? Consider the title, often a clue to the theme.

The author raised awareness on children’s sexual abuse. She explores on how terrifying an abuse is and how children who experienced the abuse feel and how would they overcome it.

6. What passages stike you as insightful, even profound? Support your answer.

“Children should only be with adults, because adults know what they’re doing, and kids don’t.” This passage means that children should be doing sexual intercourse only with adults because they know what they’re doing. How come adults can do this to children like are they that greedy to find love ? Kids are not toys they must be cared physically anf emotionally not sexually.

7. Is the ending satisfying? If so, why? If not, why not…and how would you change it?

The story ended when Dottie Weaver escaped from the police and it is not satisfying for me but there is a sequel so I can understand. If I wereto change itI would like Dottie to get caught and pay for all the crimes she had comitted.

8. If you could ask the author a question, what would you ask? Have you read other story by the same author? If so how does this book compare. If not, does this book inspire you to read others?

If I could ask Karin Slaughter I would like to ask her this, “ While writing this story is it your intention to raise awareness about the children abused by adults or the plot just popped in your head and encourage you to write it ? I would really love to read the sequel of this book even other books of Karin. This story story inspired me that reading a novel is fun and this encouraged me to read another one.

9. How does this story changed you-broadened you perspective? Have you learned something new or been exposed to different ideas about people or a certain part of the world?

Yes, the story really changed me. It broadened my perspective about sex and stuff. It showed me the harmful side of it and made me realized that people experienced abuse are terrified and that I must raise awareness on my fellow teenagers on how harmful it is to our lives. I also learned that not all people doing sex loves it that others would like to go back when they are still pure and when they are still innocent on those things but things will not change and they need to accept it. I learned that different people have different experience hence we should not judge them, we should try to understand them.

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