#someone please do some nice alpha mullets PLEASE

[syninplays]

Modern Day Ragnar Lodbrók Sigurdsson, anyone? 😏

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Everyone is writing depressed Lance on the way back to Earth (and I just want to feel included) omega Lance

Lance was gutted. He felt like a worthless fool. A worthlessly embarrassing fool. He'd slipped. He'd let let whole team have a glimpse of a side of him he'd rather they'd never seen. He was Lance. The comic relief. The seventh wheel. The temporary Red Paladin who'd stupidly fallen under Allura's spell! He didn't get it. He couldn't figure it out, no matter how he thought, it all came back to, why?! Why had he let himself develop feelings for someone so... perfect, and brilliant and so far out of his league? Hey gorgeous personality, her beautiful appearance and enchanting smile... he'd thought he'd loved her... but he'd never realised to what degree... they'd been so close, now it all they had was awkwardness. And since when had all his pretending become reality?! He might have flirted with Allura since day, but he'd known he never had a chance. He was just a boy from Cuba... and a boy who's heart already belonged to another. So now, here he was. Listening to the others chatting, as his shook. Crying silent tears so as not to burden the others. They were all so happy. So happy that Keith had come back... even if he wasn't the Keith remembered. The Keith he remembered was barely the same height as him. He was the Keith with a quick temper, always baited by the slightest quip... but this Keith... he didn't know what to do. What to say. Keith had come back radiating an aura of maturity. An aura telling Lance his feeble jokes and bad flirting weren't going to be appreciated. He was now someone Lance didn't recognise, yet his stupid feelings wouldn't leave him alone. His verbal banter with Keith had kept him going. When everyone was busy, all it'd take was a look, or a gentle teasing of Keith's mullet and that was it, they'd fall into an almost family like fight, no real bite in their words, but nothing akin to love. That had been enough, but now he didn't even have that. He was alone in Red, Kaltenecker his only companion, and the memories of his death to keep him company. He was lonely and miserable. Hating himself for how desperately he wanted one of them to reach out, to simply ask if he was ok. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. They were going home, but what happened then? Shiro was back. Which once again meant there were more Paladins then lions. If they were to build a new castle with the help of Earth and the Galaxy Garrison, then they'd insist on staffing the castle with their people. Most suitable Paladin's would be selected, though it was up to the lions if they accepted them. None of them had asked to be Paladin's, yet the others... the others filled their roles so perfectly. There really was no space for him. Hunk's laughter filled Red. Pidge teasing him over something trivial, while Hunk spluttered and laughed. It hurt to hear. They were all so happy. So full of hope. While he was alone. He didn't even know if they knew he'd died. He could still feel the coldness nested in his heart, at first he'd thought it from Allura accidentally breaking it, but now he was sure it was from his death. He was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to be dead and now he was sitting here like some abomination "Paladins, we'll set up camp for tonight on the planet ahead. We need to plan our trip home, and there will be much to do along the way" "Alright Allura. Because you asked so nicely" "Don't be hangry, Hunk. We'll feed you once we get there" "I'm not Hangry" "Sorry Hunk, I've got to agree with Pidge on this one" "Ha! See. Even Shiro agrees!" "Shiro, man. I thought we were friends" "I think we could all use some rest and food..." "I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to this confident Keith" "Don't start on me Pidge" "I'm just saying! You've changed" Allura giggled as something rustled in the background "Of course he's changed. He was gone for two years!" "And he comes back with such a pretty girlfriend" "Shiro, Romelle isn't my girlfriend" "Why not. She's pretty" "I can't believe you. I save you and this is how you repay me?" "What can I say? My little brother is so grown up" "Keep going and I'll put you back in a pod" "Now boys, no need to fight" "That's right. I'm recovering, go easy on me" "And he's only got one arm!" "And grey hair! You've gotten old!" "There's nothing wrong with my hair!" "Yeah, nothing a little dye wouldn't fix!" "Shiro, ignore Pidge. I think your hair suits you" "Shut up, Matt!" "Thanks, Matt" See. They didn't need him. They hadn't needed him when they'd stopped on Olkarion to explain the situation. They hadn't needed him when Matt had decided to join them. None of his friends had even noticed when he'd returned to Red ahead of time, only caring that he'd been in his pilot seat when they took off. It wasn't like he hadn't asked if there was something he could do, but Hunk had brushed him off, while Pidge had told him to leave it to the "big kids". He hadn't said a single thing to any of them since, that was a nearly a movement ago... * Landing on the planet, the others had landed so there wasn't actually any space for Red near them. The plateau they occupied was nestled between two sharply sloping rises, neither of which had enough space for Red, and the next closest space was a good three to four hundred metres away. Whatever. It was better this way. No one would hear him crying in his sleep, and no one would bother making the walk. He'd just get some sleep, and be yelled at in the morning for keeping them all waiting. Standing, Lance ran his hand over his pilot's chair sadly. He was going to miss Red. Even if she might not feel the same "Red, can you please open your mouth? I need to let Kaltenecker out for the night" Obliging, Red lowered herself, opening her mouth and allowing a cold gush of fresh air to fill her cockpit. Kaltenecker mooed, not at all impressed over the frigid air "I'm sorry girl. You know the rules" Kaltenecker went out at night, otherwise she'd mess up Red's cockpit in more ways than one. Leading his stubborn cow down, he tethered her right beside Red's jaw, before backtracking and grabbing her water pale "I know girl, but you've got plenty of grass?" Kaltenecker looked so completely done with him. He really must be pathetic "Don't worry. I'll make sure you go to a good home when we get back to Earth" Flicking her tail, she turned her back on him. Opening the doors to the cargo bay, Lance looked at the pathetically small piles of belongings he had. He'd tried to make the effort to keep things neat and organised in a manner that would make Shiro proud of him, but what was the point when he never talked to them? Back home, his mother had always been on his case about making his bed. About how an omega needed to know how to run a household. How to cook. How to clean. What to say. What not to say. What to wear. What to be. Every part of his life was ruled by his secondary dynamic, and it wasn't until he'd joined the Galaxy Garrison that he'd realised he was incredibly lucky to know everything his mother had taken the time to drill into him. Male omegas were a joke. An abomination. They weren't even permitted into the Galaxy Garrison, but Lance had gotten his letter of acceptance before he'd ever had his first heat. No. That came two weeks later when his mother and father were away on a business trip and he was supposed to watch the house with his older brothers, but they both had girlfriends and he'd been left alone. The moment he'd realised what was happening, he'd been filled with terror that just thinking of the memory still triggered that same terror. His mother had come to find him half dead, unable to care for himself during his heat. His brothers had been been smacked with her shoe until they'd both been reduced to tears, while he had been taken to the doctors and given a new and highly experimental shot, designed for long term suppression. He still got "heats" but instead of loosing control of himself, it instead consisted of a week of cramping and headaches, while his own sweet scent was completely obliterated. Something he considered a small price to pay to achieve his dream of being a pilot. Scents were one of the first things noticed when finding and selecting a desirable mate, but he couldn't smell the difference between an alpha and beta, or even a omega for that matter. The only scents he could pick up were from deodorants, or soaps, or shampoos. Things like that. When Hunk and Pidge had incorrectly assumed him a beta, he hadn't corrected them. Being a beta wasn't exactly high in social standing, but it was miles higher than a male omega. Shaking his head over the state of Red, Lance ignored it completely, making his way over to the pilot of blankets that now served as his bed, and crawling into them without even bothering to undress, or bothering to eat. The Olkari had made sure they were all stocked with enough rations to last them a phoeb. His having magically appeared one day in Red's cockpit without his knowledge. He would have liked to have thanked Ryner, but she was always so busy with everyone else that it always felt rude to interrupt. Now he'd probably never have the chance. Curling around his Bayard, he cried himself to sleep. Lance was awoken by angry pounding. His heart was racing, being woken by anger was perhaps the scariest way to wake. When his dad had lost his job, he'd drowned himself in drink. Being the youngest, Lance hadn't known to run and hide like the others. His father had knocked him around more than once, before his mother had thrown him out to get sober. When his dad had come home, things had gone back to normal... but the fear remained. It was an irrational fear his seven year old self couldn't understood. Every time his father would raise his hand, even if it was to ruffle his hair affectionately, his heart would race as he flinched away. Veronica had let it carry on for your years before finally explaining to him. He didn't hate his dad for hurting him, his dad hated himself enough over it for the both of them. But trauma is a funny thing. Climbing to his feet, he wrapped his arms around himself as he walked over to door in Red's mouth, pressing down on the hand pad to reveal a very pissed Pidge "What the fuck, Lance?!" "What..." "Don't what me. Your stupid cow was down at camp this morning. If you can't look after her, you never should have brought her with you" "Is she ok?" "No she's not. She's cut her back leg on something. Allura's going to take her so Romelle can treat her wound" "I..." "Just get your act together, and stop sulking. You're not the only one hurting right now" "I get it. Sorry, Pidge" "So you should be, we don't need the stress right now. We're heading out, so try not to fall asleep" He knew Pidge wasn't a morning person, but shit. He'd made sure Kaltenecker was tethered properly. He'd even double checked she was. Now she was hurt, and it was his fault... Once again the kept their coms at they flew. With no teladuv, they'd fly for six or so vargas, land on whatever moon or planet was closest for a short "lunch" break, then fly for another 6, before making camp for the night. As usual everyone was chatting off and on around him, while Lance stared down at his Bayard. Allura has said he was meant for greatness, and he supposed idiocy counted. The world's greatest idiot. That was him "So Lance, what's the first thing you're going to go when you get home?" Lance jumped at the sound of his own name, taking a few ticks to place the voice. Keith's mum... why was she talking to him? She should be happy with Shiro and Keith... she'd practically adopted Shiro on the spot "Knowing Lance its going to be something stupid, like chatting up girls by telling them he's some big space hero" "Either that or he's going to stuff his face. I can smell the garlic knots from here" Everyone laughed, Shiro pointing out that Hunk was probably going to be the one to stuff his face. Lance's face burnt. Keith had probably told his mum just how much of hopeless flirt he was, and about all the times he'd been rejected "Ha ha, good one guys" "See, he doesn't even deny it" "Seriously man, there's more to life than girls" When he didn't reply to Matt, Pidge giggled "Awww, I think we hurt his feelings. Lance, its ok. I'm sure someone out there will like your bad jokes" "It's fine. I'm going to take a nap" "Food and sleep! What a life!" The conversation moved on from him, Lance crawling from his chair, making his way to behind it as he hid his face against his knees. He just needed to make it home. If he made it home, he'd never see any of them ever again. When that nights planet was decided, he was the first to land, turning his coms off and heading out of Red before the others had even finished powering down. Relieving himself quickly, he ignored how light headed he felt. He probably should bother to eat, but it was just so much effort. Walking back to Red, he could see the others already making camp. Shiro supported by Krolia, Keith standing beside the protectively. It was a bitter feeling. Heading back into Red, this time he actually bothered to find a ration pack, and bottle of water. If he got sick, they'd all get madder at him. Settling down in the back corner of Red, he picked at the granola like bar with disinterest, while trying to figure out how to actually contribute to the team. He didn't want to be dead weight anymore. Lance was crying softly when something wet ran up his face. His breath caught as he tried to escape the situation, only to be yipped at as something solid pressed against his chest. Wiping his face, the omega blinked, sniffling as he realised it was Keith's wolf "Did you get lost again? I'm not Keith..." He couldn't even remember the dumb dogs name, but staring right into his eyes, it lowered itself down, huffing as it did. It's two large paws firmly against his chest, so there was no way he was going anywhere. Thumping it's tail, the wolf nuzzled at his face "I'm not your human..." Lance hesitated before wrapping his arms around the beast, nuzzling its soft coat as his soft cries turned to sobs. This was the first real warmth he'd felt in quintants that hadn't come from a cow "How come you're here? Keith's gonna be mad when he realises you've been slumming it with me" Carding his fingers through the blue fur, the wolf didn't pull away, though it did stop nuzzling at his face, instead resting its face on his shoulder "Sorry. I should let you get back" When Lance's fingers loosened their grip on the fur, the wolf let out a whine, as if telling him not to let go "Do... you maybe want to stay here a little while? I was going to go to sleep" Keith must have taught the wolf "sleep" as it pulled away, before laying beside his leg "What am I going to do with you?" Sliding down his bed, Lance tentatively snaked his arm around the wolf, burying his face back again the fur as his he pulled a blanket over the pair of them, and settled down properly "I don't know if you can understand me, but thank you... all I ever do is mess up... so.. thank you" That night was he first night since his death that Lance didn't wake from a screaming nightmare. Instead he woke to Keith's wolf liking at his face, and pawing at his chest "Alright, I'm up. I'm up!" Yipping, the wolf disappeared and reappeared, playfully lowering its self before each jump "You need to go back to Keith. He'll get mad" The wolf cocked it's head, as if telling him he was stupid "I don't have much for breakfast..." The granola bar from the previous night was still beside his pillow. Pulling the wrapper off, Lance threw the bar, the wolf catching it happily "You need a name. I don't know what Keith calls you, but I'm going to call you Storm. Thanks for last night, but I'll be ok. Go back to Keith before he gets too worried" Yipping again, the wolf disappeared, this time not reappearing the cargo hold. Today's topic of conversation was Keith's missing wolf. Lance hadn't turned on his coms until after they'd left the planet, so had come in late to the conversation "She was gone all night" "She probably just found a rabbit" "Her fur was damp... Coran, didn't you say that planet was devoid of water?" "Right you are, Keith" "Which means she was off getting into trouble" "She seems happy enough" "Maybe she's been raiding the supplies?" "Don't even joke about that, Pidge" "Why don't you follow her?" "Because following a magical disappearing space wolf is just that easy" Lance didn't even realise what he'd said until it'd slipped out. Allura had been asking a simple question "Wow Lance, someone's salty" "Lance, you didn't need to be rude to Allura like that" "I'm sure Lance has his reasons" No! Why was Allura making it sound like she deserved it... "That's not what I meant..." "It's fine, Lance" "Way to bring down a mood. Wanna play "eye-spy?"" "No, you cheat" "I do not cheat! You just can't match my level of intellect!" "Oh I beg to differ, Katie" "Are you challenging me, Matt?" "I just might be" "Bring it on!" Someone groaned, but Lance didn't want to hear it. Cutting the transmission, he pulled out his Bayard, activating it. Staring at the blade, he placed it in his palm, balancing it while sighing. He'd suffered with depression for years, even before presenting, but he'd never hit a low like this. Each time he'd felt low, he'd always forced himself to carry on, but if he was leaving them all, what was the point? He'd never tried to hurt himself intentionally, outside of punching the occasional wall or door, but maybe that's what he needed. Inside Red, he was safe. His emotions numbed to some degree by their mental link. Maybe that was why he was feeling so disconnected? He just wanted to feel something other than depressed, and pain... that wasn't sadness. With his shirt hiked up, and his pants unbuttoned, Lance had his bottom teeth captured between his lip as he stared down at his right hip bone. He'd always been so gangly. Too tall to be an attractive omega, and his curves were barely existent. Pressing his blade to his hip, he hissed as he nicked the skin, and drop of blood rushed to form. Shit... he'd actually... he didn't want to do this... yanking the blade back, the tip caught on his hip bone, cutting through his skin for a good inch and a half before he even realised what he'd done. He'd never been great with a blade, but now he'd panicked uselessly and done the very thing he'd decided not to. Blood poured from the wound while Lance cursed himself. Pressing his hand firmly to the site, he forced himself up, gritting his teeth as he stumbled into the cargo hold. Leaving bloody hand prints across his supplies, he finally found his first aid kit. Who the quiznak thought letting him a blade was a good idea? It took him nearly half a varga to dress the stupid wound because the bleeding didn't want to stop, and then his pants rubbed against the gauze, making him yelp each time he tried to move. The others would love this. He'd hit the bottom, tried to hurt himself, scared himself out of it... only for him to hurt himself and get blood all over the place.

[believerindaydreams]

Yuletide letter

(Got enthusiastic and wrote this early. As this is where I’d be posting it anyway…)

Hallo!

Hurrah for shared tastes and all that. Hope you have as much fun writing the fic as I did putting this together.

General DNW list:

Non-con, dubcon, pregnancy, incest, children (any children, don’t want to see ‘em, don’t want to hear about ‘em), queerphobia, Alpha/Omega. No gun use by the heroes.

Dislike:

Feel free to include hanky-panky if that floats your boat, but honestly, I’m just not that interested in the finer details of plumbing. Fade to black is my preferred style.

MacGyver (1985)

(Availability: Amazon Prime)

Do not want: Nothing explicitly supernatural. Absolutely no Sam. Please don’t ship him with Pete; everybody else is fair game for romance. 

I'm not looking for crossovers, having been burned on too many Stargate fics that lug in my beloved character just for a joke about duct tape. Not that I have anything against jokes about duct tape! Quite the contrary. But I’d like a MacGyver fic to be about Mac. 

That being said, if you are that inexplicable person who agrees with me that the MacGyver characters would map amazingly onto John Le Carre's Karla trilogy, do feel free to write that. (No, really, I wrote up the idea here: https://thatdeepandlovelydark.tumblr.com/post/165773403880/had-a-brainwave-today-rewrite-of-john-le-carr%C3%A9s )

Things I’d like to see….Mac, of course. I’d prefer one other person he’s friends with from the show. There’s this idea that MacGyver’s a heroic loner, and I’ve never agreed with that; even in episodes without the other regulars, he’s always friendly and looking for someone to bond with.

That’s it. I’d hate to dissuade any possible MacGyver fanfiction on the grounds of being too specific.

Though if you want more by way of a prompt than that, I have lots of ideas!

I love writing Pete, but he’s probably a bit dry and bureaucratic for other people. Jack is hugely entertaining. Maybe have him do some piloting if you write him; it’s a good trade-off with Mac being the otherwise wholly more competent one. As for Murdoc…well, there’s already quite a lot of angsty Mac/Murdoc slash out there, I think the fandom’s good on that. Fluff, on the other hand? Fluff I would enjoy.

The girls on the show mostly strike me as poorly written, which I find harder to work with. I never had the time of day for Penny until I ended up needing her for a fic. She’s more fun if you assume she is genuinely blithering, instead of just dumb, and work from there. Nikki largely bores me, though I like the fellow spy dynamic they have going. I do enjoy Deborah, who struck me as having actual chemistry with Mac, and she has an interesting puzzle-box of motives to play with. Mike’s sort of a nonentity; I wouldn’t mind seeing her fleshed out a bit. And Lisa from “Nightmares”, with her macgyving and empathy and smarts, is easily my favourite female character.

I am enormously fond of our hero’s improvisations, but please don’t worry about it if you can’t think of a good one. Especially don’t write a bad one just for the sake of box-checking. A properly-handled domestic scene would be just as nice as an action-adventure. In particular, I have a mild fixation on hunger-related hurt/comfort (Seeking in Fallen London was made of catnip for me), so a two-hander with a famished troubleshooter, some kitchen chemistry and a friend to help out would be just about perfect. That being said, go ahead and write The Big Action Scene, or The Epic Reunion Teamup With Everybody In It, or whatever else if you’d prefer. I’m easy.

Other prompt ideas:

- If you want to write that hoary old chestnut about “oops we accidentally have to get married now for Improbable Reasons”: Jack and Mac all the way! One of the saddest things about small fandoms is the lack of ready crack.

- I have this theory that young Mac n’ Jack n’ Mike went to Swinging London in the 60s. Wot larks!

- Dr Zito is, hands down, the most disturbing villain on the show. He is your go-to if you want to write a deep dark angsty horror-and-suffering fic.

MacBeth has a nice short guide to writing MacGyver; http://bethinexile.livejournal.com/38533.html I concur with most of that, barring inexplicable shirtlessness.  

Sunless Sea

(Availability: Steam, Gog)

Do not want: most AUs or crossovers. (Exceptions listed below.) A fic that regurgitates the text of the game proper; I’ve seen this more than once, and the practice annoys me no end. Dick Van Dyke attempts at writing Victorian accents.

Aside from that…will read your story avidly. The more obscure words you can fit in, the better. Feel free to work from a player captain’s perspective; don’t if you don’t want to. I would like one of two characters (you needn’t include both). The Tireless Mechanic utterly fascinates me, and one of the delightful things about Failbetter’s writing is the way in which they balance specific stories with ample room for readers to fill in their own canon. Maybe your version of the Mechanic was addicted to laudanum; maybe he had a lover in Parabola, before he took his engine design home. Maybe he actually likes fungal crackers. I don’t know! Surprise me!

Alternatively, I have an abiding fondness for the Wistful Deviless. She intrigues me, I feel her story isn’t complete (either past or present), and I’m unlikely to get to her in the massive fic-cycle I have going. It’d be nice to see more. Chuck in some romance if you want.  

Other prompt ideas:

- I have written four different perspectives on Seeking/Going North already. I think there’s room for a lot more in this world. Feel free to go dark/cannibalistic/blackandveryverydarkgrey/etc.

- What is Whither like when strangers aren’t there? Do they still speak in riddles? How does this society function? How long has it been there? Can you write a whole fic entirely made of questions?

- Stupid crossovers: the Deviless is Missy, popped over from the DW universe to take a break and be a bee for a while. Twelfth Doctor cameo not unwelcome.

I also had this wacky idea about the Mechanic being a Surface spy with a mullet. But then, who’d be crazy enough to write that one…

So (Peter Gabriel)

(Availability: Amazon, Itunes, decent music shop)

DNW: Aside from the general list? Go hog wild.

For donkey’s years I’ve been saying to myself that “So” is a concept album in disguise and I ought to sit down and write out its chronicle. “Big Time” - that’s the young lad dreaming of going to the city, “Red Rain” is when he’s rethinking this decision after the ghastly events of “We Do What We’re Told”, “Don’t Give Up” is the lady in his life encouraging him, and so forth…. Sort the songs into proper chronological order, tell the bits of narrative that come in between, and bob’s your uncle!

Extra points if you agree with me that it’s set in some kind of Moorcock/Zardoz end-of-time kind of deal, because that’s the vibe I get from it.

Hope you didn’t mind wading through all that too much. Looking forward to the result.

Thanks for the fic!