#someone should draw that scene of her curled up in the back of the ferrarighini with the btss master

[directorofthefalselastact]

jang hayoung or, no one cares what a child thinks

this afternoon, on the way to work, i managed to think so hard about jang hayoung that i was trapped behind the steering wheel just absolutely bursting with love and disappointment for her narrative role, and then the moment i got out of the car i forgot absolutely everything (thanks capitalism). i remember now though! jang hayoung, here i come! so this is all mostly thanks to some changes in the ebook during a specific kim dokja and jang hayoung scene that, while not actually revealing anything that the webnovel didn't already implicitly say, made more explicit something very important about jang hayoung's entire existence: to be someone who would actually care what he, kim dokja, a lonely and isolated 15 year old boy, has to say. and i think that's kind of neat! frustating, also, but neat. so like i said, this is not strictly speaking new information. in chapter 217, we have kim dokja prickle with guilt at the thought of his own needs bringing this person into a cruel world: his need for someone who: 1. likes to talk and tell stories (cute)

2. unlike his idol and fantasy boyfriend yoo joonghyuk has tasted the bitterness of reality (lmao)

3. and again, unlike joonghyukie, actually listens to what other people have to say! (LMAO!)

so we already have an understanding of what kim dokja was thinking when he first asked tls123 for a new character. but what the ebook adds to this is more illuminating.

“I think there is a huge wall (between people).”

ebook kim dokja, the moment he says this, immediately cringes from saying what he calls “the voice of a 15 year old kim dokja”. knowing what we know about that time in kim dokja’s life… this moment of vulnerability is especially revealing, and it’s only made more so when he goes on to realize that jang hayoung was “someone who would listen to and accept a 15 year old”. this, of course, draws a connection to jang hayoung’s easy communication with the abyssal black flames dragon, a constellation who’d frozen his mental age at 15 as well. and isn’t it something that kim dokja would be so bewildered by this choice? to willingly trap yourself in what kim dokja could probably call some of the worst years of his life? his most obsessive, most lonely, most disconnected years… and jang hayoung was made to bridge that disconnect. not only that, she apparently enjoys it! she is a symbol of his guilt for contributing to her creation, and beyond that, she is the uncomfortable proof of a young kim dokja who once thought things like “people have walls between them that i find impenetrable. i want to connect to others, but i can’t. i want others to connect to me, but they won’t.” and now she’s here, in front of him, hearing him share this mortifying thought and saying “how interesting! i want to hear more. tell me more.”

(also, lmao at ebook kim dokja sighing and deciding to channel his inner abfd before he goes on to explain his chuuni little ideas about ~the infinitely wide gulfs between us, each man an island, woe~ like whatever makes you feel better, dude.)

alas, due to the nature of orv, it’s difficult to separate discussions of jang hayoung from kim dokja, but it doesn’t diminish how interesting she is. her belief that these insurmountable walls can still be crossed as long as a person tries hard enough, long enough, acts outrageous enough… it’s both advice that kim dokja needs and advice that he doesn’t really believe. but jang hayoung believes it, and damn, it seems to be working just fine for her! maybe he’ll catch on eventually.

anyway, my disappointment is mostly just the criminally underutilized potential of her ability to bridge these gaps between lonely people (EXPAND HER ROLE IN EPILOGUE SING SHONG LEMME SEE THOSE SIDE STORIES PACKED WITH CONTENT YOU PROMISED) and to a lesser extent the nature of her existence as a Lesson To Learn for kim dokja. the second part is really not so bad seeing as how yoo joonghyuk is in the same boat, lmao, but You Know. Women.

alright enough about this clown kim dokja. some jang hayoung musing.

1. wait i lied. little bit more kdj time. so this is something that i am absolutely just making things up about it is for ME and not something i believe is authorial intent but. jang hayoung being trans, if perceived through the lens of “borne from the cri de couer of a lonely teen”, could be read as a brash and open example of a person liberating herself from a societal expectation of gender. her off handed “people on earth judge by the cover” does have its ties to kim dokja commenting on how the eyes of strangers kept enforcing unwanted identities on him all his life: son of a murderer, strange lonely man, somehow Other in some subtle way… ahem, perhaps a little indulgently, even the notion of Being A Man could be another thing kim dokja has had imposed in him and perhaps… even unconsciously… chafes at…. MAN I JUST DON’T THINK THE WAY KIM DOKJA TREATED HER WILL EVER BE SOMETHING I GET OVER, I’M COPING HERE ALRIGHT.

2. an author’s note about characters and food mentioned that she drinks like a fish, eats like a bird, and is a picky eater. plus she likes tofu. beloved premature grandma of my heart.

3. i think, as a fandom, we are obligated to investigate her complete lack of respect for han sooyoung (affectionate). why does han sooyoung let her get away with giving her a noogie. why does jang hayoung so boldly ignore her brusque refusals to answer her questions. (sidenote: WHAT did she see yoo joonghyuk do with a computer that led her to declare him technologically incompetent, babygirl please i wanna know so bad). WHO will write them going on day trips to go see their mutual bestie abfd perform in concert. i am reaching out a hand to you all. don’t you all want to see jang hayoung drink han sooyoung under a table. i do.

4. i also think her friendship with aileen is so good! what the fuck! they’re family! (for the life of me, i can’t remember, but does their shared last name indicate that jang hayoung reincarnated in the body of aileen’s family member (sad???) or that it’s just a New Body and aileen took her in and shared her last name (aw) like if anyone can clarify do let me know. i don’t want to go searching lmao i’m too lazy) jang hayoung being her assistant in the shop… helping her out… beating up rude customers… family…..

5. super special ebook changes: her messages to the constellations now go [15 year old schoolgirl, looking for a texting friend~] and [15 year old schoolgirl, looking for a texting friend, any gender….] because she is the Queen of the Catfish and knows specificity is key. which matches very nicely with my previous mention of the scene where kdj tells her to send swk the “grow hair grow” meme being switched so that she 1. performs a cutting analysis of swk to diagnose him with Old Man Disease and 2. crafting the perfect message to pull his aggro instantly and 3. proving to all the monkey man fans that the only valid and sing shong approved face claim for swk is kim kwang-kyu. you’re welcome. all in a day’s work for master communicator jang hayoung.