#her ebook art was so good you guys

[ya-world-challenge]

18 Afrofantasy Worlds to Read after you watch Wakanda Forever

So I see you guys love these lists and, hey, I’m not going to complain, I love looking at these sets of beautiful cover art. This theme is... Afro Fantasy Worlds! ♥♥ From alt-Cairo to alt-Johannesburg and many magical worlds in between, I’ve chosen 18 books full of African magic.

Add your favorites in the comments, too! I only ended up with two male MCs... that’s sadly a shortcoming in YA fantasy in general, although not every book here is YA.

Support my blog and read at the same time when you buy from the linked titles below, which go to Bookshop.org (where you support small bookshops, too!) Or get a free trial at Scribd for ebooks & audiobooks.

Beasts of Prey by Ayana Gray Fate binds two Black teenagers from different social classes together  as they strike a dangerous alliance to enter a magical jungle and hunt down the ancient creature menacing their home--and discover much more than they bargained for.

Daughters of Nri by Reni K. Amayo A gruesome war results in the old gods' departure from earth. The only remnants of their existence lie in two girls. Twins, separated at birth. Goddesses who grow up believing that they are human. Their epic journey of self-discovery as they embark on a path back to one another.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl A steampunk alternate-history novel set in the Belgian Congo. What if the African natives developed steam power ahead of their colonial oppressors? This land, named Everfair, is set aside as a safe haven, an imaginary Utopia for native populations of the Congo as well as escaped slaves returning from America and other places where African natives were being mistreated.

The Final Strife by Saara El-Arifi A fantasy trilogy with its roots in the mythology of Africa and Arabia, three women band together against a cruel empire where castes are divided by the color of one's blood.

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark A young magical detective in 1912 Cairo must investigate the murders of a secret brotherhood dedicated to one of the most famous men in history, al-Jahiz, when the murderer claims to be al-Jahiz himself returned to condemn the modern age for its social oppressions

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko Tarisai was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady. The Lady sends her to compete to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince's Council of 11. If she's picked, she'll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: Kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron Heir to two lines of powerful witchdoctors, Arrah yearns for magic of her own. Under the disapproving eye of her mother, the Kingdom's most powerful priestess and seer, she fears she may never be good enough. But when the Kingdom's children begin to disappear, Arrah is desperate enough to turn to a forbidden, dangerous ritual.

Son of the Storm by Suyi Davies Okungbowa Danso is a clever scholar on the cusp of achieving greatness--except he doesn't want it. Instead, he prefers to chase forbidden stories about what lies outside the city walls. But when Danso stumbles across a warrior wielding magic that shouldn't exist, he's put on a collision course with Bassa's darkest secrets. Drawn into the city's hidden history, he sets out on a journey beyond its borders.

The Theft of Sunlight by Intisar Khanani Children have been disappearing from across Menaiya for longer than Amraeya ni Ansarim can remember. When her friend's sister is snatched, Rae knows she can't look away any longer. She finds unexpected support from a foreign princess and a street thief with secrets of his own.

Blood Scion by Deborah Falayei They wanted me to be a monster. I will be the worst monster they ever created. Fifteen-year-old Sloane can incinerate an enemy at will--she is a Scion, a descendant of the ancient Orisha gods. When she is forcibly conscripted into the Lucis army, Sloane sees a new opportunity: to overcome the bloody challenges of Lucis training, and destroy them from within.

Skin of the Sea by Natasha Bowen Simi prayed to the gods, once. Now she serves them as Mami Wata--a mermaid--collecting the souls of those who die at sea and blessing their journeys back home. But when a living boy is thrown overboard, Simi goes against an ancient decree and does the unthinkable--she saves his life. And punishment awaits those who dare to defy the gods.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna On the day of the blood ceremony of her village, Deka's blood runs gold, the color of impurity-and Deka knows she will face a consequence worse than death. Then a mysterious woman comes to her with a choice: stay in the village and submit to her fate, or leave to fight for the emperor in an army of girls just like her. They are called alaki-near-immortals with rare gifts. And they are the only ones who can stop the empire's greatest threat.

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes Set in a world where murderers and other criminals acquire magical animals that are mystically bonded to them. Zinzi has a Sloth on her back, a dirty 419 scam habit, and a talent for finding lost things. When a little old lady turns up dead and the cops confiscate her last paycheck, Zinzi's forced to take on her least favorite kind of job -- missing persons.

Noor by Nnedi Okorafor In a near-future Nigeria. Anwuli Okwudili prefers to be called AO, Artificial Organism. Instead of viewing her strange body the way the world views it, as freakish, unnatural, even the work of the devil, AO embraces all that she is: A woman with a ton of major and necessary body augmentations. And then one day she goes to her local market and everything goes wrong.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi Zélie Adebola remembers when the soil of Orïsha hummed with magic. But everything changed the night magic disappeared. Under the orders of a ruthless king, maji were killed, leaving Zélie without a mother and her people without hope. Now Zélie has one chance to bring back magic and strike against the monarchy. With the help of a rogue princess, Zélie must outwit and outrun the crown prince, who is hell-bent on eradicating magic for good.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy Sixteen-year-old Eva is a princess, born with the magick of marrow and blood--a dark and terrible magick that hasn't been seen for generations in the vibrant but fractured country of Myre. Its last known practitioner was Queen Raina, who toppled the native khimaer royalty and massacred thousands, including her own sister, eight generations ago. Eva must now face her older sister, Isa, in a battle to the death if she hopes to ascend to the Ivory Throne.

Changa’s Safari by Milton Davis In the 15th century on the African Continent a young prince flees his homeland of Kongo, vowing to seek revenge for the murder of his father and the enslavement of his family and his people. He triumphs over the slavery and the fighting pits of Mogadishu to become a legendary fighter and respected merchant.

Waking Fire by Jean Louise Naira Khoum has only known life in Lagusa, a quiet village at the desert’s end. But to the rest of the world, Lagusa is a myth, its location shrouded in secrecy. While war rages to the north led by power-hungry Sothpike and his army of undead monsters called Dambi, Naira’s people live in peace. Until the impossible happens—Lagusa is attacked by a Mistress sent to do Sothpike’s bidding with a hoard of Dambi under her control.

Bonus: Daughters of Oduma by Moses Ose Utomi An elite female fighter must reenter the competition to protect her found family of younger sisters in this scintillating young adult fantasy inspired by West African culture.

[magicalyaku]

Ok ok, let's get back on track. Work was draining these past weeks, but I'm on vacation now, so time to catch up! June was the month of the library books. I put a bunch on hold in April and May and they all came in at the same time. And after up to 10 weeks of waiting I was not about to push a single one back further, so I had to work a bit there. 8D Also, according to my list I've read 51 books in the first 6 months of the year. I seem to remember wanting to read less this year? Yeah. Not going well.

Gwen & Art are Not in Love (Lex Croucher): I read it in the very first days of June, which was basically an eternity ago, so my memory is a bit wonky. I do remember I had lots of fun! It was funny and sweet with a solid story and serious times when needed, nice characters, good adventure. The female lead did not get on my nerves! There was a cat! And a girl with a (legendary) sword! I think, though, it's a bit unfair that both boys ended up with permanent bodily harm while the girls got away scratchfree … Go read it!!

Thief in the Night (KJ Charles): I didn't know anything about this other than the summary when I put it on my waitlist in the library. After 10 weeks it finally came in and my first thought was "Is it broken?!" because it's only about 100 pages! It is a full story, mind you, I was just so suprised by it (and because I waited for so long!). It's a companion story to The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting, featuring the brother of the protagonists of that one. It's pretty cute. Super short, but just the right length for a simple story. We can have a simple story once in a while. I had a good time reading this.

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting (KJ Charles): I borrowed this right after Thief in the Night. This is a full-length novel, so it has a lot more time to dive into characters and intricacies. It's nice. Like not groundbreaking, but very enjoyable. There's this thing about (pseudo-historic) British aristocracy that just calls for mocking them. I liked a lot how the climax and ending played out!

Flowerheart (Catherine Bakewell): Now this was another difficult book for me. I thought with time I'd get a little more chill with YA fantasy heroines. Seems I'm not there yet. The heroine here has these whiny self-pitying phases that really annoyed me. She's like "Oh maybe he never liked me in the first place" just because the guy didn't want her help at one thing. But: 1) He was her very close childhood friend, that was not a lie. 2) She has like one day of training in and can't control her magic, so her help would be … probably no help at all. And 3) when he told her before that he needs her on the weekends she said no, she can't … So why is she getting upset?! I hate characters like this. /D But thankfully, this is only half of the time, the other half she's pretty ok (the guy as well) and I actually found myself liking the book. The romance is acceptable and it does have some nice imagery going on with all the flower magic and stuff.

Sounds Fake But Okay (Sarah Costello & Kayla Kaszyca): My one non-fiction book of the year. :D It's about seeing the world from the perspectives of a_spec people. Like taking apart all that amatonormativity and all these ideas about romance and family and stuff that most of our world sees as right and normal. So it's not just a "let me tell you what aromanticism and asexuality are"-book but dives a bit deeper. I found it insightful. I think, both a_spec and allo people can take something away from reading this. Challenging our social constructs in thought at least can't hurt after all. Regarding the ebook library edition I read I didn't quite like the layout as the incorporated community quotes where not well marked and I stumbled over them a few times before realising it's another quote. That's probably no issue in the paper version though. I also struggled to tell the authors Sarah and Kayla apart. They introduce themselves and their stories in the beginning but I immediately jumbled them up ...

Captive Prince Trilogy (C.S. Pacat): I borrowed the English edition from the library … and didn't want to return it! Which is stupid because I own the German version in paper. But that kinda sums up how I feel about these books. Captive Prince was not the very first gay fantasy book I read almost two years ago but the first one I liked. (The actual first was Rowan & Ash by Christian Händel which had a terribly selfish love interest and shied away from all the important conflict. (And yeah, long before that I did read The Raven Cycle but I picked that one up for the Ley lines and the no-kiss-promise. The gay was just a pleasant surprise, so I don't count it.)) Which is funny, because especially the beginning is so filthy! I remember being quite put off by this the first time around, but apparently it was intriguing enough to continue reading. I like the incredible slow-burn of Damen's and Laurent's relationship. The slow building of trust in a surrounding where trust is so rare. How shit happens between them and they have to sort it out on page before progressing. How you only catch glimpes of Laurent's true self for a long time. I like it when authors feel smart through their writing and writing Laurent's and the Regent's intrigues and all the different settings with war strategies etc. sure does feel smart to me. I like the slow-burn in stories as well when things start at some point and only get important much later and all weaves together beautifully. It's so rewarding. Look, where we started - look, how far we've come! Hah. u3u

Riley Weaver Needs a Date for the Gaybutante Society (Jason June): For the end of the month I went for something light and funny. Of all the authors I read last year F.T. Lukens and Jason June stuck with me the most. Lukens for the cozy charming fantasy and June for the slightly silly noisy onea. Riley Weaver is no exception to that. It does have a serious undertone and message, though, but due to the framework of the story it manages to never feel dull or preachy.

I also tried to read Dragonfall by L.R. Lam, but gave up after just 50 pages. I can't even say if it's good or bad, because I don't know. I couldn't stand the viewpoints. Like, there's three people. The first one is a 1st person narrator, who refers to the second person as You, but in the narration, not dialogue! That put me off so much. It was so … icky! The second person narrates 1st person as well. If there's another "you" I don't know because I didn't make it to the point where they meet for real. And then the third person comes along and … it's 3rd person?! And I screamed! God, I hate that. I mean, it can work and I have read books that I like with inconsistent viewpoints but there was nothing here for which I was willing to endure. To be fair, I don't like dragons in the first place, so maybe we never were a good match from the start. :'D

That's it for June!

[whumpinthepot]

@whumpmasinjuly 2023

19. List your fave whump blogs

OK, I wrote as many people as I could find and if I missed anyone I’ll add them in as i come across them ^_^

@gritpyre - long time mutual/friend who does amazing amazing artwork. Its so nice seeing her oc’s change and grow over the years. We stan buff ladies <3

@for-the-love-of-angst - Longtime good friend of mine who I love so much. Their writing is so full of flavour I just want to eat it, its so descriptive and the characters feel so raw with emotion.

@whither-wander-whump - Pucks historical whump is so impressive, I don’t know how she does it. The dialogue and everything is on point. I also just love hearing about her day and what she’s been up to because its always something really cool.

@whumpshaped - Excellent writing and concepts, its always so different and just seem to hit right. Especially the gore and how unapologetically brutal it gets! I always have fun reading its work.

@figuwhump - This is just a really fun art blog that popped up in the last month or so, ive been having a lot of fun with the event and seeing what other people create. Its run by two of my fave people as well so thats just a bonus.

@whump-in-the-closet - Troy has a really fun blog and he does a CYOA story that I really enjoy reading a LOT. Very good descriptions that have a lasting effect on me, theres always something noteworthy when ever I read a chapter. Also, we have similar usernames so his blog always stands out to me haha.

@just-horrible-things - long time friend/mutual with amazing writing and characters. Everything I’ve read from him has been engraved into my brain, and stuck there.

@burntcoffeewhump - Amazing artist and friend!! Seriously, go commission him when they’re open again he’s selling them for very affordable prices and they are professional level work. Its just gorgeous they way he paints.

@demondamage - Good friend/mutual who has such amazing talent for art and writing I am always in awe, and love seeing it every time he posts. The lab whump has me swooning. Period.

@whumpsday - Mill is such a nice mutual to have, and a really great member of the community. I think about his characters all the time, and he somehow manages to organize all of his writing which is something I really admire. He wrote whumper to whumpee trope is such a way that it makes you feel BAD for the poor guy…

@i-can-even-burn-salad - Elli is really funny and writes like a BEAST. I don’t know how she does it but I am so envious!! She has some books finished, and available as Ebooks! Go check them out its seriously impressive, and something to look up to.

@sunshiline-writes - We have a lot in common which is like finding a chest during a treasure hunt. Very good characters, poc whump, lady whumper, and writing that I really enjoy a LOT. I really like her characters they vibe perfectly with me.

@verkja - I love Verkja so much, he’s always a pleasure to talk to and a very good friend. He does adventure fantasy -esque writing with a lot of detail to the world the characters are in. He’s talented in so many artistic ways, I love seeing anything he’s working on any given day.

@ilasknives - LAB WHUMP MOOT, Ila does amazing lab whump with a load of psychological torment stuffed into it. As well as a lot of pet whump concepts that are really fun and different. I love hearing about their oc’s, they feel so real to me.

@redd956 - Redd has the biggest galaxy brain when it comes to world building, prompts, and writing. Its so fun to see all of her posts on my dash, I don’t know how she does it but its a TALENT.

@leyswhumpdump - Leys is really good at plot building with a sprinkle of whump twined into it, which makes those scenes all the more exciting. Leys understands writing structure very well and it makes their writing flow verrrryyyyy nicely.

@blackrosesandwhump - Amazing writer, does circus whump which I LOVE and don’t see enough of, as well as a handful of other stories with different tropes! Lovely mutual and very helpful with writing advice which I am so so so thankful for all the time.

@hollowgast1 - Very good moot to have, we trade drabbles to edit often and its really fun. She writes a lot of supervillain, pet, and lab whump its really heavy on the psychological end of it, which I enjoy immensely. Its always a pleasure to read her works!

@distinctlywhumpthing - Excellent writer, with some completed stories. Their writing is often tragic, and really pull the reader in emotionally. Highly recommend reading, they’re some of my favourite works!

@whump-blog - Red is such a sweet friend, and so good with ideas, I always get so excited hearing about them! He has wonderful artwork and its all linked on his page for easy access. Im so intrigued by his writing I can’t wait for more to be posted!

@alittlewhump - Shy is incredibly helpful I can’t express my gratitude enough she’s so amazing at strengthening writing and I would have never posted my works if it wasn’t for her. She knows how to bring a story to life through words which is such a huge talent that so many people strive to have.

[iantimony]

yay tuesday is back

return of tuesday! i had two weeks in the UK which was very fun but i am definitely vacationed out - i miss my routine. longer trips like that are only fun towards the end if you have a home base that isn't just a hotel room.

listening: newest coral bones ep is very chill. it's only three songs and they're all very vibey but i think my favorite is 'seatac'. i wish they were still posting on bandcamp. alas.

SeaTac - Coral Bones

also got back into listening to the altogether - their album 'when we were kids' is very travel-coded to me for some reason, it was on loop my entire train ride from london up to edinburgh. (i'm also pretty sure brian david gilbert of all people is featured on this album haha)

Billy & Anne - The Altogether

finally, i saw st. vincent live in london this past weekend!!! it was a really good concert, lots of fun, interesting venue. she's definitely got an insane stage presence. the opening act (heartworms) was fun too, my brother and his friend weren't interested and described it as 'moody goth bullshit' and i was like well. that is right up my alley. you boys enjoy the bar im gonna go be moody and goth. it was good!

i think if i do standing room tickets again i need to invest in some platform shoes, at least two or three inches, because some of that was a struggle to see Anything ... i did manage to find a spot where i had a decent little corridor between heads to see the stage, however i was directly behind a guy in a bowler (?? fedora?? idfk) hat and his boyfriend who kept moving around and dancing (fine) and gyrating (also fine ?? i do not consider st. vincent particularly gyrate-able music but what do i know) so i also had to do some leaning side-to-side to see around them. one of her songs has a line about jumping off the london bridge and the way they both looked at each other and pointed gleefully at themselves while going "meeee" was very funny. i bet they're on tumblr, they had the vibes. hello gay guys at the london st. vincent concert, if you're reading this.

reading: i read 'when the angels left the old country' by sacha lamb in the two days that i was alone in edinburgh before my brother came! it was good, speedy read, i enjoyed the characters and overall conceit well enough. probably not on the to-buy list, i'd just rented an ebook for my trip.

some miscellanous articles from my pocket emails:

How to Coexist With a Belligerent Catbird by Caitlin Gibson (<3)

The Last Kid in Ninth Grade Without an iPhone by Liz Kreiger (this was relatable as a kid whose parents did Not let her get anything more complex than a flipphone for emergencies until i got myself one as a senior in high school and i think i was better off for it)

The Case for Doing Laundry Every Day by Rebecca Onion (insane, IMO)

watching: mostly fallow, did watch one of the dunmeshi eps that came out when i was gone with the boy yesterday and will probably watch the second one tonight.

i have Opened the jenny nicholson star wars hotel video, not yet watched, but saw in my patreon emails from friends at the table that the tablefriends did a related episode on their star wars podcast, which, i then noticed like [leo decaprio pointing meme] xeecee spotted in the credits for the cover art ?? i'm not surprised they are aware of each other but i thought it was funny

playing: fallow! completely, for once! no ttrpgs, no video games, etc. i guess i played a Lot of solitaire on my flight back from the uk, maybe that counts lol

making: i did a lot of sketching on my trip! i made a watercolor travel journal that somehow doesn't have enough pages so i'll have to rebind it but oh well. no watercolor pics for now but i'm excited to share those as i go! in the meantime, some sketches i did in the east princes street gardent, the scottish parliament, and the victoria and albert museum in london respectively:

i think once i finish the travel journal ill try to do a higher quality scan of it and upload a pdf somewhere, i feel like that will be fun.

eating: ough i ate a lot of good food in the uk. mostly the non-british food unsurprisingly but i Did have some really good fish & chips moments. last meal of the trip especially we got a recommendation from one of my brother's friends who goes to cambridge and ouuuugh that shit was So good.

misc: it's good to be back ... now i'm back in The Grind (work) but i don't mind it. despite the jetlag i'm feeling refocused and excited to get moving on stuff again. i liked a lot of stuff about the uk (trains, vibes) but i also did not like some stuff (why are the cold meds So weak there lmfao) and overall i'm glad to e home :)

[bloodpraxis]

hi tumblr recommended me your most recent art and i know nothing about what's going on but i am so so intrigued what is happening to him. is he okay. how do i get into this media

Hi! I assume you're referring to this post? The character is Dinin Do'Urden from R. A. Salvatore's "The Legend of Drizzt" series. The things that happened to him took place in the most recently released book called "Lolth's Warrior".

Anyway about Dinin, he's okay-ish now, fortunately, but not without some loss of [redacted] and mental scars, and some sort of impending doom suggested in his future.

Spoilers ahead, if you want to know the specifics™. It's a bit long. I'll mark it with Spoiler Starts, Major Spoiler Starts and Spoiler Ends & Major Spoiler Ends.

Spoiler Start

Dinin is the older brother of the titular character (Drizzt). He's done evil things, like killing his eldest brother to become the Elderboy of house Do'Urden, and so was painted as the average treacherous and ambitious Menzoberranzan drow noble. In reality, most of the things that he's done usually ties to his survival.

He was cursed and turned into an abomination - a drider all the way back in "The Legacy" (1992) by their sister Vierna, who was trying to regain favour from the Spider Queen - Lolth. He was killed in the same book and damned to suffer servitude under the Spider Queen in the Abyss ever since, until "Relentless" (2020), where his and many of those who had the same curse was lifted.

Major Spoiler Starts

When he was brought back, he hid his identity and used a fake name because he feared his name - the association with his brother would bring him much trouble.

Unfortunately, he's a silly guy whose mouth runs faster than his brains, no matter how hard he tries to be calculative. And so, his fake name is only two vowels longer than his actual name.

Long story short, a trusted comrade of his found out the truth, and when she got captured by the Spider Queen worshipping horde and at risk of being turned into a drider again (a horrific and painful process), betrayed this information in exchange for her escape.

^ an excerpt describing the horrific Curse of Abomination that turns drow into driders.

He then got captured and tortured for many rounds. The jar of finger and toes? Yeah that's his. But that's not the worst part of it.

The servants of the Spider Queen used the oldest trick in the book - fear - his fear of being turned back into a drider to force him to do their bidding. He will have to form trust then betray his brother in the worst way possible. He hasn't done it yet, but nothing good will came of it once he does.

Major Spoiler Ends

Dinin hardly got anyone to look out for him. His favourite sister ended up turning him into an abomination, his teacher (the father figure to him in my opinion) who he looked up to, distrusts him and doesn't give him any sort of recognition or time of the day. He's a soggy wet man scrambling to survive using any means possible (the evil ones) in a world full of uncertainty.

It's not all doom and gloom for Dinin though, he's a great fighter, bagged two hulking tall ancient drow women and is unironically funny sometimes.

^ Dinin "No one has called me handsome the last 200ish years so I might as well call it myself" Do'Urden.

Spoiler Ends

So far he's appeared in the first few books of the series (before disappearing in "The Legacy"), and most recently appeared in the Generation trilogy (Boundless (flashbacks when he was young), Relentless (actually back)) and Way of the Drow trilogy (Glacier's Edge (2022) & Lolth's Warrior (2023)).

The series got quite a lot of books and it could be a bit intimidating. There is a reading order guide on Reddit which is pretty helpful. You could choose from printed books, ebooks or audiobooks to enjoy this series. The first few book were also made into comics, if you prefer the medium. Some details were left out in the comic version, the character design of some female characters are questionable (product of its time, the early 2000s), but the main plot is there and served alright.

Screenshots from the comic. Duality of a man. Evil vs Soggy.

I hope this isn't too lengthy, oops! And hopefully answered your question!

[maciek-jozefowicz]

[39] “Harry Potter and the Little Mermaid” — Pandani brush, Inking group (Procreate app). How about a crossover graphic novel — “Harry Potter and the Little Mermaid”? The Mermaid falls madly in love with Harry and begs Hermione to use magic to turn her fish tail into human legs. No problem there — Hermione can whip up a magic potion to do the trick. But then comes the drama of a love triangle — Harry Potter, Little Mermaid and Jenny Weasley. Considering that the Mermaid and Jenny are both “good guys”, how do you resolve this love conflict into a happy ending for all (all good guys need a happy ending, it’s one way that fiction satisfies our emotional need to see good people happy and bad people sad; it’s a form of justice that reality seems to often withhold)? Add a Little Merman to create two happy couples? But what if he, too, falls madly in love with Harry Potter? Now we’re stuck with a love square!

But what if the Little Mermaid doesn’t love Harry Potter, what if she just loves to read? There are no books, or ebooks, in her underwater world, yet the mermaid is a ravenous bibliophile. It’s a different sort of love triangle — Jenny Weasley loves Harry Potter, Harry Potter loves the Little Mermaid (and Jenny Weasley; he can’t decide), and the Little Mermaid loves books (it’s not unlike someone who is passionate for art or football or chess — that passion takes precedence to all others). The Mermaid wants legs so that she can walk out of the sea and into the nearest Barnes & Noble.

[impossiblemakerfire]

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[carolinemillerbooks]

New Post has been published on Books by Caroline Miller

New Post has been published on https://www.booksbycarolinemiller.com/musings/everyone-has-a-story-to-tell-2/

Everyone Has A Story To Tell

My essay below first appeared in the ebook magazine Women Writers, Women’s Books on July 27, 2020.  This is a reprint of that article.   EVERYONE HAS A STORY TO TELL “Everyone has a story to tell,” said the woman seated opposite me at my retirement center. Somewhere in her 80s, she had the beauty of a Gibson Girl.  A cloud of silver hair framed her pale complexion, and her eyes were the size of blue pebbles, though the color had faded.  As she told me her story, her eyes strayed into the distance, as if images of her past were being thrown upon a far wall.   I drained my coffee cup, not daring to make a sound, while she recounted stories of her youth–a period during World War II when, as a dancer, she entertained American troops on the Western front. Though well into my 70s, I sat like a child before her, open-mouthed, dazzled by her adventures. She was proving her truth. Everyone has a story to tell. The question for most of us is how to begin and whom to address.  Are the memoirs we write meant for friends and family?  Or should the public be included? That decision is crucial from the start. Friends and family are a willing audience. Relatives are curious about their predecessors. Why did Uncle Herman stop speaking to his brother? When did Cousin Ella become fearful of ponds?  Grandchildren will turn the pages of a memoir salaciously, wondering if their grandparents ever kissed. A family memoir is often linear in structure.  The course of events unfold as they were lived–first this, then this, and then this.  The vignettes march across the pages like a troop of well-rehearsed drummers. Introspection isn’t deep, though we may learn that Grandpa Rutherford favored eggs for breakfast because his mother served him porridge as a child. Family members who hunger for tidbits about their heritage will tolerate a linear construction. The general public is likely to yawn. For them, a memoir must venture into a wider sea. No longer a teller of family secrets, the author sets a course for human understanding. What makes us laugh or cry? What dreams do we hold in common? Organizing insights like these invite a structure more varied than a linear one.  Book lovers who attempt a public memoir will have an easier time organizing their thoughts than the occasional reader. Bookworms make good writers. Call it transmigration or the process of osmosis, but those of us with well-worn library cards have been inhaling the writer’s skill simply by observing it—the way an infant learns to stand by mimicking its parents For those of us less well-read, organizing material according to themes is a good plan: humorous stories, stories of disappointment, or those about overcoming difficulties.  James Harriot’s format in All Creatures Great and Small also works.  He salts sad stories between several happy ones. Celebrities can ignore my advice and suffer no consequences. People will buy a famous person’s book out of curiosity or because they admire the individual.  If the piece is boring, they will pass it along as a form of revenge to a neighbor–the guy whose dog likes to pee on your zinnias. Most importantly, a memoir writer must be honest. Too many self-congratulatory remarks smack of narcissism. Expose your mistakes so your audience learns from you.  If they do, they will love you for it.  “We’re all mad here,” said the Cheshire Cat. Everyone has a story to tell.  If yours helps someone to reflect, laugh or shed a tear, you will have mastered the art of memoir. My upcoming memoir, to be published on November 1, 2023, makes a stab at all of the above.  The narrative begins with an incident at my retirement center which provokes memories of a time in my earlier twenties when I spent four years abroad. In 1959, the ink was barely dry on my college diploma when I followed my fiancé to England. After two years spent struggling to adapt to life in a new country, the man I adored broke our engagement. Rudderless and far from home, I joined an English acquaintance to teach in East Africa. I knew nothing about the political turbulence in that part of the world, an era when white colonial empires struggled to maintain their grip on indigenous populations.  By the time I stepped off the boat in Cape Town, UHURU’s freedom cry had ignited the land. Even so, I little realized my coming-of-age story would mirror the joy, suffering, and danger of the birth of new nations.  By the time I returned to the United States, I was a  stranger in my country. I’d been transformed by my experiences yet well knew the value of making human connections. Now, with my hair turned silver, I’ve chosen to retrace the journey that became a pilgrimage.  Will readers connect with my story? Like every artist, I stand with my heart in my mouth awaiting their decision.

[directorofthefalselastact]

jang hayoung or, no one cares what a child thinks

this afternoon, on the way to work, i managed to think so hard about jang hayoung that i was trapped behind the steering wheel just absolutely bursting with love and disappointment for her narrative role, and then the moment i got out of the car i forgot absolutely everything (thanks capitalism). i remember now though! jang hayoung, here i come! so this is all mostly thanks to some changes in the ebook during a specific kim dokja and jang hayoung scene that, while not actually revealing anything that the webnovel didn't already implicitly say, made more explicit something very important about jang hayoung's entire existence: to be someone who would actually care what he, kim dokja, a lonely and isolated 15 year old boy, has to say. and i think that's kind of neat! frustating, also, but neat. so like i said, this is not strictly speaking new information. in chapter 217, we have kim dokja prickle with guilt at the thought of his own needs bringing this person into a cruel world: his need for someone who: 1. likes to talk and tell stories (cute)

2. unlike his idol and fantasy boyfriend yoo joonghyuk has tasted the bitterness of reality (lmao)

3. and again, unlike joonghyukie, actually listens to what other people have to say! (LMAO!)

so we already have an understanding of what kim dokja was thinking when he first asked tls123 for a new character. but what the ebook adds to this is more illuminating.

“I think there is a huge wall (between people).”

ebook kim dokja, the moment he says this, immediately cringes from saying what he calls “the voice of a 15 year old kim dokja”. knowing what we know about that time in kim dokja’s life… this moment of vulnerability is especially revealing, and it’s only made more so when he goes on to realize that jang hayoung was “someone who would listen to and accept a 15 year old”. this, of course, draws a connection to jang hayoung’s easy communication with the abyssal black flames dragon, a constellation who’d frozen his mental age at 15 as well. and isn’t it something that kim dokja would be so bewildered by this choice? to willingly trap yourself in what kim dokja could probably call some of the worst years of his life? his most obsessive, most lonely, most disconnected years… and jang hayoung was made to bridge that disconnect. not only that, she apparently enjoys it! she is a symbol of his guilt for contributing to her creation, and beyond that, she is the uncomfortable proof of a young kim dokja who once thought things like “people have walls between them that i find impenetrable. i want to connect to others, but i can’t. i want others to connect to me, but they won’t.” and now she’s here, in front of him, hearing him share this mortifying thought and saying “how interesting! i want to hear more. tell me more.”

(also, lmao at ebook kim dokja sighing and deciding to channel his inner abfd before he goes on to explain his chuuni little ideas about ~the infinitely wide gulfs between us, each man an island, woe~ like whatever makes you feel better, dude.)

alas, due to the nature of orv, it’s difficult to separate discussions of jang hayoung from kim dokja, but it doesn’t diminish how interesting she is. her belief that these insurmountable walls can still be crossed as long as a person tries hard enough, long enough, acts outrageous enough… it’s both advice that kim dokja needs and advice that he doesn’t really believe. but jang hayoung believes it, and damn, it seems to be working just fine for her! maybe he’ll catch on eventually.

anyway, my disappointment is mostly just the criminally underutilized potential of her ability to bridge these gaps between lonely people (EXPAND HER ROLE IN EPILOGUE SING SHONG LEMME SEE THOSE SIDE STORIES PACKED WITH CONTENT YOU PROMISED) and to a lesser extent the nature of her existence as a Lesson To Learn for kim dokja. the second part is really not so bad seeing as how yoo joonghyuk is in the same boat, lmao, but You Know. Women.

alright enough about this clown kim dokja. some jang hayoung musing.

1. wait i lied. little bit more kdj time. so this is something that i am absolutely just making things up about it is for ME and not something i believe is authorial intent but. jang hayoung being trans, if perceived through the lens of “borne from the cri de couer of a lonely teen”, could be read as a brash and open example of a person liberating herself from a societal expectation of gender. her off handed “people on earth judge by the cover” does have its ties to kim dokja commenting on how the eyes of strangers kept enforcing unwanted identities on him all his life: son of a murderer, strange lonely man, somehow Other in some subtle way… ahem, perhaps a little indulgently, even the notion of Being A Man could be another thing kim dokja has had imposed in him and perhaps… even unconsciously… chafes at…. MAN I JUST DON’T THINK THE WAY KIM DOKJA TREATED HER WILL EVER BE SOMETHING I GET OVER, I’M COPING HERE ALRIGHT.

2. an author’s note about characters and food mentioned that she drinks like a fish, eats like a bird, and is a picky eater. plus she likes tofu. beloved premature grandma of my heart.

3. i think, as a fandom, we are obligated to investigate her complete lack of respect for han sooyoung (affectionate). why does han sooyoung let her get away with giving her a noogie. why does jang hayoung so boldly ignore her brusque refusals to answer her questions. (sidenote: WHAT did she see yoo joonghyuk do with a computer that led her to declare him technologically incompetent, babygirl please i wanna know so bad). WHO will write them going on day trips to go see their mutual bestie abfd perform in concert. i am reaching out a hand to you all. don’t you all want to see jang hayoung drink han sooyoung under a table. i do.

4. i also think her friendship with aileen is so good! what the fuck! they’re family! (for the life of me, i can’t remember, but does their shared last name indicate that jang hayoung reincarnated in the body of aileen’s family member (sad???) or that it’s just a New Body and aileen took her in and shared her last name (aw) like if anyone can clarify do let me know. i don’t want to go searching lmao i’m too lazy) jang hayoung being her assistant in the shop… helping her out… beating up rude customers… family…..

5. super special ebook changes: her messages to the constellations now go [15 year old schoolgirl, looking for a texting friend~] and [15 year old schoolgirl, looking for a texting friend, any gender….] because she is the Queen of the Catfish and knows specificity is key. which matches very nicely with my previous mention of the scene where kdj tells her to send swk the “grow hair grow” meme being switched so that she 1. performs a cutting analysis of swk to diagnose him with Old Man Disease and 2. crafting the perfect message to pull his aggro instantly and 3. proving to all the monkey man fans that the only valid and sing shong approved face claim for swk is kim kwang-kyu. you’re welcome. all in a day’s work for master communicator jang hayoung.

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

Magicam Live

Vil’s guest is a pest. Contains coarse language, people being catty bitches, and more telling than showing.

You want more, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag. If you liked it, let me know!

~*~*~*~

Transcript of Last Week's Magicam Live From *schoenheit_official

Vil: Hello my dearest fans! As promised, I will be showing off my newest capsule makeup collection, to be released this Monday exclusively at Feathersweep Cosmetics. However, due to high demand, instead of simply demonstrating on myself, I thought I would show that anyone could be half as beautiful as me with these!

[He holds a hand out to the side.]

V: Please welcome my fellow student at Night's Raven College, Yuu.

Yuu: Yo.

[A girl with short, dark hair and tired eyes sits down beside him. Spotty and plump, with a notable double chin. She's notably underdressed, compared to Vil.]

Y: I am she. I'm *donegotisekaid, if you haven't seen yet. Full of genuine memes from another universe, as well as me figuring this place out, and pictures of my not-cat.

V: She's simply been begging me for a makeover!

Y: He asked me if I'd do it, actually.

[Vil stops and takes a deep breath, clearly irritated.]

V: Yes, well. You've prepared?

Y: I scrubbed my face real good and managed to leave most of my pimples alone, if that's what you mean.

[Vil sighs]

V: As much as you're capable of, clearly. We'll start with the primer.

Y: [with a smile] Didn't you already give me one on how to act in this?

[Vil pinched the bridge of his nose, regret pouring from every cell in his body.]

V: Just lie back and be quiet until I'm done with you.

[Yuu looks at the camera, but says nothing. There's an audible snicker from behind the camera.]

[There are a few quiet minutes where Vil prepares her face, before selecting a foundation.]

V: So, is there a reason you don't wear makeup? You could look quite nice with it.

Y: Few reasons. It's a lot of effort, and I tire easily. I don't really like the feel of it on my face, and I tend to touch my face a lot anyways, so it doesn't last. It's a lot of money, and I break out very easily.

V: I can see that. Don't you use face wash?

Y: You should have seen me when I did use it! Much worse.

V: Ugh. I'll give you something later. And none of these have a good tone for you.

Y: Just pick the closest! I'll end up wrecking it by a few hours from now anyways.

[Vil rolled his eyes.]

V: Rook, any questions from the chat?

[A familiar accented voice from offscreen]

Rook: *stellargems wants to know how Yuu found herself at NRC.

Y: Transdimensional bullshit. I'm here until we figure out how I can get home. It's not bad, I don't miss it much.

V: Yuu even has her own dorm so she doesn't have to bother anyone.

Y: Not that it stops me.

V: [sotto voce] Don't we all know.

Y: If they kept you in a building with four usable rooms total and no electricity, you'd be out and about too. At least the ghosts there are really nice and help me out.

V: Do you kiss these ones too, or was that a one time thing?

Y: If I hadn't kissed her we'd be down a student and you and half the people I hang out with would be paralyzed, so don't make fun.

[Vil stops to regard the camera.]

V: To clarify, there was an incident with a ghost princess causing a lot of trouble at the school a few months ago. Yuu decided to kiss her to fix everything, because she's both stupid and deeply strange.

Y: It was really fun until I started dying.

V: All her blood was on the outside. It was disgusting.

Y: It did work though!

V: Keep telling yourself that, you didn't kiss the one you really wanted to.

[Yuu gives him the finger, and Vil shoves her hand down.]

R: *vilpleasefathermychildren asks-

[Yuu sputters with laughter. Vil just winks at the camera with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.]

R: They want to know if there'll be a coupon code for the new release.

V: There will! It'll be released via the official fanclub email Sunday night.

Y: It'll be a whole three percent off and you have to pay to access it.

V: Stop that.

Y: [sweetly] No.

Rook: *getterbackback wants to know what your shirt says?

Y: Yeah, hold on.

[She stands and pulls the shirt out to be seen better. It says in large letters, I'M CUTE AND I BITE]

Y: You can do one yourself if you take a dark shirt, tape the parts you want covered, and scorch the area around it with diluted bleach. I've done a few of these, a few designs more than once.

V: Destroyed them?

Y: Nah, Lil wants at least one of every one I do.

V: [to the camera] That would be our fellow student Lilia Vanrouge, from Diasomnia.

Y: He's pretty great. He's *elderbatbrat if you want to look him up.

V: Sit back down so I can figure out which blush to use.

Y: Pinks and corals work best for my skin tone.

V: I thought you didn't wear makeup?

Y: Why do you think I know wearing it tires me out? It's not something I ever did a lot because of the effort.

Y: Except for highlighter. it's basically sparkles and it's light, so I like that.

V: You remember that, but not your proper name?

Y: Ain't life grand.

R: I'm getting several questions about that. Would you care to elabourate for the chat?

Y: Yeah. I don't remember a lot about where I'm from. Culturally? Lots. What I like? What I don't like? Everything. Names and places specific to who I was? No. And don't ask me to think about it too hard, I get the worst fucking headache and I stop seeing right.

V: You've never seen right in your life.

Y: Oh, fuck off, Vil.

[Vil stops blushing one cheek to point.]

V: Stop that.

[Yuu responds by biting at his finger with an audible click when her teeth meet, laughing hysterically as Vil pulls back in shock.]

V: !!! Dreadful little monster!

Y: Yeah, but you're the one who thought you'd get more views if I was here.

R: We indeed just surged another 20,000 views and counting! Excellent work, Yuu.

Y: Thank you, Rook.

[Vil looks ready to explode.]

Y: I won't bite again, that was just too easy. Please continue, I do want to see what magic you can do.

V: This is regular makeup.

Y: Metaphorically, you jackass. 

R: *rosemassacre wants to know if you're always like this.

V: She's always this horrible.

Y: Vil first saw me and called me a dumpy little potato. I told him it's because I'm great all ways and everyone wants a taste, and slapped my ass at him. He's been obsessed with me ever since.

V: I am not obsessed with you.

R: You go into a rage over her at least once a week.

V:  She can't go a week without being a pest.

Y: I went three after you kicked me out of the movie club.

V: You can't just project violence on the walls of Pomfiore because I said we weren't going to watch it!

Y: Vil, it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and it is art.

V: A man gets sawed in half in the first ten minutes.

Y: To an absolutely bangin' soundtrack. Oh that reminds me. Ad time, hold on.

[She wiggles a little before puting on her best customer service face.]

Y: If you want to access media that is quite literally from another world, please go to MonstroMedia dot com and sign up! There's ebooks, movies, tv, music, and more. Much of it is horror, sci-fi and fantasy, as it's from my person collection of media brought with me on my laptop and backup drives. You can use the code SHOENHEITSAYSWHAT for the first month free!

[She put her hand up and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone.]

Y: I completely understand piracy, but I'd appreciate if you paid because this is the only way I get spending money, and I can only bat my eyes at these boys so much before they expect something in return for gifts.

V: How'd Ashengrotto talk you into that one?

Y: He was going to make me start paying for all the food I eat if I didn't.

R: *waterwitchesbetgitches says, and I quote, "so like if ur the only gal at NRC how many boyfs you have"

Y: So many. At least twenty. Even more if there were girls here.

V: That is a gross exaggeration. She has maybe three, if we're being very generous on the definition.

Y: [points] And he's mad he's not one of them.

V: [squinting] You are absolutely dreadful and I can't understand how you're so popular.

Y: I like you too, Vil.

[Vil pauses, visibly taken aback.]

V: ... Thank you.

V: You know you're going to have paparazzi on your tail now, right?

Y: Aw, shit.

R: *insertmagicamhandlehere wants to know what's on your neck.

V: An antique chain with an attached charm specially made for me by Soleil Atelier.

R: I believe that was for Yuu.

[Yuu snickers, as Vil looks for himself. When her collar is pulled down, it fully reveals a vicious set of hickeys with visible toothmarks.]

V: Eww.

Y: You should see the other guy.

V: Eww!

[Vil takes a moment to recover, while Yuu laughs.]

Y: That could be a second part! Everyone needs that tutorial. "Bruise Coverup How-to by Vil Shoenheit: For when you just can't keep them off of you."

[Vil mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "nerds shouldn't be allowed to fuck"]

Y: Then where would your fans be?

V: At least there's only setting spray after this and then you can leave.

Y: Won't you get bored without me here?

R: One last question! *shroudstreaming has asked... well, there's a lengthy keysmash and an all-caps "why".

Y: Ah. Hi, babe!

Y: Hey, everyone go follow him, he's a total fucking babe and he refuses to take my word for it, no matter what I do to him-

[Vil sprays setting spray directly in her face, leading to Yuu coughing.]

V: No taste at all, and gross to boot. 

Y: Asshole.

[Vil offers a mirror]

V: No. Miracle worker.

[Yuu looks... well, the same, but with an even, well made-up face.]

Y: ... Aww. You remembered I like sparkles.

V: Less likely to scrub it off if you actually like it.

[Yuu's admiring herself for a few moments in silence, with Vil watching, quite pleased.]

Y: Hey, can I do you next?

V: Absolutely not.

Y: Ask the chat.

V: No.

R: Chat says yes.

V: [With a visible eye roll] Ugh, fine. 

Y: Aight. Take your shirt off.

V: What.

[Yuu brings up a case and flips it open. Inside is a magazine with a gory cover, and various things like fake blood and liquid latex.]

Y: Alright kiddies. You wanna learn how to slit a man's throat?

[Vil gets up and walks away without another word.]

Y: You said I could! Get back here!

[Yuu follows. Rook emerges from behind the camera.]

R: That's it for tonight, ma belles. Next time.

[Magicam Live ends, but not before audible yelling and scuffling, quickly cut off.]

[opbackgrounds]

So I read the Ace Novel (Part 1)

As promised, I have looked into some of the One Piece novels, but sadly the only one I was able to find was the Ace novel, which has an official translation through Viz. This is as shame as I was morbidly curious about Law’s and genuinely interested in what they came up with for the Heroines series, but I guess those will have to wait for another time. 

For those who aren’t aware, the Ace novel was published in two parts in the One Piece magazine and was written by Sho Hinata, with some bonus art of Ace’s crew by Oda. Part 1 (which is all that I’ve read so far) tells the story of Ace’s journey from East Blue to Sabaody Archipelago, whereas Part 2 presumably goes into his induction to the Whitebeard Pirates.

My tl;dr opinion is that it’s not bad but pretty rushed. Go ahead and give it a read if you’re an Ace stan, but otherwise it’s not exactly breaking any new ground for the series.

The biggest difficulty when writing something for a magazine will always be word count. Part 1 is only 118 pages of actual story—an infinitesimal amount for an ebook—and divided into 3 chapters that read less like an interconnected narrative and more like 3 different installments in a one shot series. Chapter 1 establishes Ace’s firstmate Deuce and tells of how they met, chapter 2 intrudices a marine Nami clone rival for Ace, and chapter 3 is the big climatic showdown that ties all the themes of the novel into one neat little bow before sending Ace off to the New World.

There’s a little connective tissue there where you can see what the author was trying to accomplish, but it’s bare bones storytelling. Anything that has to tell a coherent narrative that covers a long period of time in not a lot of words would. 

For example, Deuce finding out who Ace’s father is and hating him for it, then realizing he’s actually a good guy and deciding that judging people by the reputations of others is wrong happens over the course of like 5 pages, which doubles as the scene explaining how Ace got his Devil Fruit. Chapter 2 sets up Nami Clone Marine as a powerful fighter that Ace and co., were lucky to escape from, only to immediately turn her into a laughing stock at the beginning of chapter 3

And I know that wasn’t the intention, but you can’t develop a Smoker-Luffy or Garp-Roger style rivalry over the course of one scene. It’s impossible. The end result is a lot of telling over showing and some bizarre contrivances (Nami Clone Marine randomly telling Ace her tragic backstory while on top of the Ferris wheel at Sabaody Archipelago five minutes before she learns the marines were the bad guys all along is the most anime thing I have ever read) which is a shame, because during the more extended scenes, there was some interesting writing and character development. 

I feel like the writing is at its strongest at the very beginning and the end. Unsurprisingly, it’s not difficult to get through (I’d put it about middle grade as far as reading level) and the style reminds me a little of a watered down version of the Rick Rioden novels—self aware, with just a touch of irreverence that keeps it from taking itself too seriously

The translation seems to favor accuracy to the text over what I would call a fluid reading experience, so you’ll get sentences here and there that feel wooden or just a little off. 

And Viz must be more lenient with its novels than its manga, because it was a little more liberal with its swearing than what I’ve seen in the manga. I don’t remember any egreigious darns or dangs, and they even slipped in one instance of someone calling another a bastard.

But enough about the writing. As far as themes go, the author did a good job of tying in themes from the manga, the biggest one I noticed early on during Deuces monologue where he brings up living life without regrets. Sun imagry abounds for Ace, which I found especially interesting because it’s pretty common in fanfiction to turn Luffy into the good sunshine lad, whereas Ace was portrayed somewhat differently 

And those last paragraphs are the point of Part 1. Ace takes in degenerates unwanted by even other degenerates. There’s even a nice scene where he offers a home for his marine rival after her entire worldview gets shattered because that’s the kind of guy he is. Ace gives others a place and a purpose...but his crew isn’t the family he seeks. There is a sense where they aren’t really peers or equals, and in that sense he is very, very different from Luffy.

Early on, we learn that Deuce’s real name isn’t really Deuce, and he wears a mask so that no one else knows who he is. Well, as much as he hates it, Ace wasn’t born with the last name Portgas, and he’s got a mask of his own, and it’ll take the likes of Whitebeard himself to tear it down. 

But that’s a story for another time. 

[kingfallsamtranscripts2]

King Falls AM Episode Twenty: Referencing Aladdin Don’t Make It Right

King Falls AM Transcript

Episode 20: Referencing Aladdin Don’t Make It Right

Run time: 22:17

First Aired: Feb 15, 2016

Summary: Sammy & Ben get a quick update on the little ones off Route 72 and learn live on-air that not everyone had a great evening on the night of the Valentine’s Day Dance.

(For a list of characters and references from this episode see the end of this post)

[King Falls AM theme plays]

Troy: Hey folks, if you or anyone you know has any information on these hybrid werewolf slash human baby thingamagigs-

Sammy Stevens: Is that a technical term, Troy?

Ben Arnold: Can you please let Troy finish, Sammy, this is important!

Troy: Heh, thanks, little buddy.

Ben: Go on, Troy.

Troy: Well if you see those little beasts or have information on them you just got to let us know. Don’t harbor them, they could have the rabies and or the colic. And please don’t try to adopt while it’s in its human form, cause that ain’t gonna end up well. Just use your common sense and be safe.

Sammy: Thanks for calling in officially with police business and alerting the public to the issue.

Ben: Yeah, nice hearing from you on the job, Troy.

Troy: Whilst I’m still on official police biz, I’d like to make one more little statement if I could, fellas.

Ben: Dude, of course! The floor is yours!

Troy: Well the sheriff is a real foul mood regarding these hybrid wolf babies and what have you just running amok, and he wants to make it completely, perfectly, crystal clear that if anyone should have these animals or any other illegal animals in the city limits of King Falls, they will be apprehended and exterminated on site with extreme force of malice. King Falls is a zero tolerance town for any illegal animals of any kind, up to and including wolf-human hybrids.

Ben: So… uh (clears throat) you’re saying that anyone listening that may have access to a cute and cuddly but illegal animal should do… what?

Troy: Now I’m not talking to no one in particular, I mean this isn’t a warning, it’s just a fact. Sheriff Gunderson is making it a personal project to bring down any and all animals that shouldn’t be in town.

Sammy: But cats are fine, is that right, Troy?

Troy: No doubt about that. Ain’t nobody gonna get any cats while I’m patrolling the streets, friends.

Sammy: There you have it, folks. If you or anyone you know has any information on the werewolf puppies last heard from around Route 72 or any other illegal animals not allowed in the city, please contact the sheriff’s department at once.

Ben: (sounding strained) Thanks for the info, Troy.

Troy: All you listeners, you stay safe out there, alright?

Sammy: Thanks, Troy. We’ll talk to you soon, sir.

Troy: Roger that, Sammy.

[The sound of a phone hanging up]

Ben: (clearing throat) Well… that’s good information there, huh?

Sammy: Are you okay, Ben?

Ben: Yeah! You know, I’m just… I’m not a fan of the idea that Gunderson is sending out gangs of thugs to dispatch animals, man! Aren’t there real issues for law enforcement in this town? Last week, I saw old lady Turner jaywalking in front of the grocery store.

Sammy: So you’d rather Gunderson take down the organized jaywalking underbelly of King Falls?

Ben: No, I actually helped her cross the street, but the point is that this werewolf issue seems like an animal control issue! Let Ralf Harkins take care of this! Why are the police even involved, man?

Sammy: Your guess is as good as mine. Moving forward-

Ben: Yeah! Yeah, uh, moving forward we’ve got about thirty minutes of open calls lined up before acclaimed ebook author Kirk Sycamore- don’t judge this, Sammy- will be joining us to talk about his new book Dead Tom Turkey: The Perils of Uncooked Poultry.

Sammy: I’m sorry, what now?

Ben: I mean… it’s a thing. Undercooked anything can’t be good, right?

Sammy: I would assume, but seemingly that one sentence just covered everything you need to know. Cook it longer.

Ben: Then it might get dry. I don’t know man! Don’t look at me like that! Merv emailed and asked to book this guy. His book topped Beauregard’s King of King Falls, it’s got to be worth something, right?

Sammy: The perils of uncooked poultry.

Ben: In thirty minutes.

Sammy: I don’t know if I can hold this excitement in for thirty minutes, Ben. You must be bursting at the seams! Surely you’ve waited your entire journalistic career to talk about under-broiled birds.

Ben: Uh, if it makes this any better, apparently this is a novel, not an instructional guide.

Sammy: (outraged) That actually makes it worse! This is a fictional piece of work?!

Ben: Merv emailed this to us, Sammy.

Sammy: Listeners, please immediately stop what you’ve got going on and mark this down: I’m going to do my damndest to get you the info on Merv’s book of the month club. I’m on your side and I am fighting for you.

Ben: Merv, if you are listening, I do not need to be cc-ed on the email you are penning. 

Sammy: (laughs) You heard it folks, that’s coming up quickly, but until then we are taking your calls, King Falls. What would you like to talk about this evening, Ben?

Ben: Whatever’s clever. 

Sammy: Talking about whatever’s on your minds before what is sure to be a Pulitzer winning interview. 

Ben: It’ll be good- you’re making fun- but it’ll be good. 

Sammy: How could it not be? You heard our story, King Falls, now let’s hear yours. 

Ben: Give us a call at the station- 424-279-3858, or hit us up at the tweet machine!

Sammy: That’s @ kingfallsam and @ kingfallssammy respectively. Line seven you are on the air with King Falls AM. 

Pete Meyers: You’re saying to yourself: I don’t think Pete Meyers would listen to a show of this terrible quality, as handsome and as smart as he is. He’s probably watching Big Bang Theory or something. 

Sammy: That is exactly what I was thinking, Pete. 

Ben: Word for word, almost. 

Pete: Look, I don’t like talking to the two of you either. 

Ben: Yet you continue to call! And listen! And show up at events!

Pete: Ben if you don’t drop a little bass out of your voice I will roundhouse you right in the gullet the next time I see you. You hear me? I will skullf-(beep) your mom.

Ben: So now you’re threatening me? Do you hear this Sammy?

Sammy: (annoyed) Just hang up. 

Pete: (stammering) Whoa, wait, wait, alright? You know, I’m sorry. I’m a little emotional right now… I would never intentionally try to scuff up my lugs on your face, Ben. I apologize. 

Sammy: I don’t think that-

Ben: What’s the matter? Got a vampire not appreciating the hedge art you’ve been clipping into the bushes?

Pete: Well it’s kind of about him- did you say vampire?

Ben: (triumphantly) Knew it! Man, just fess up and tell everyone that your boss is a vamp!

Pete: Ben Arnold, I just bought domain to your name. And you know what? I’m going to fill up all the pages with babies and donkeys. What’s the world going to think of you? Some weirdo guy, making an internet site about babies and donkeys? Yeah, that’s right-

Ben: (all riled up) Oh yeah? Ooooooh, Pete! Why don’t you come down here, look me in the eyes, when you’re saying this huh? Huh?!

Sammy: Guys. 

Ben: Meanie!

Sammy: Guys! That’s enough. Pete, state your problem or move along. 

Pete: Alright, fine. I messed up big time. Worse than the time I dressed up as Edward Scissorhands for Halloween and ruined Mr. B’s hedges. Apparently I pushed a button or didn’t-really-push-a-button on a fancy thing… that’s beside the point. What I really want to know is- did you guys hear something funny on your station a week or two back?

Ben: Um, um, I’m hearing something stupid right now but I don’t know if that’s-

Pete: Come on, Ben! Be serious. I take you seriously- I almost respect you! Now, I heard a little something like maybe you guys got hijacked or something like that and I just wanted to know… you know, what’s up.

Ben: This again?

Sammy: Wait, Ben, we’ve heard this a few times actually. The shotgun guy said it, we’ve had a number of tweets about it. We don’t know anything about this but apparently another feed cut into ours about a month or so ago. 

Pete: Oh sh-(beep).

Ben: Watch your language, Pete.

Pete: Watch your… face, Ben.

Ben: Wait, what the hell are you and Beauregard up to? 

Pete: None of your damn business. 

Beauregard: (from the background of Pete’s call) Yard boy, what are you doing in this chamber without supervision?

Pete: Uhhhhhhh what? Uh, Mr. B, uh nothing!

Beauregard: Don’t act like an ignoramus around the transmorgrifier. 

[There are metallic clanks and scrapes in the background and the sound of metal pipes moving around. A whirring humming sound begins like a machine turning on which grows steadily louder]

Sammy: What the hell is going on over there? Pete?

Pete: You made me mess up again you butt smackers. 

Beauregard: Don’t just stand there all slack-jawed and drooling. Turn it off this instant. Celestia!

[The whirring cuts off and there is the sound of a call ending]

Ben: What the hell?

Sammy: Well, folks, this is a first for me that I believe an on air failed attempted felony will lead us right into break.

[Cheerful music starts as a commercial begins]

Ernie: Hey there! Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books ain’t your normal bookshop. Maybe you’re asking yourself: Ernie, whatever do you mean? What I mean is that Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books is more than just a hipster reading book nook. We don’t carry none of those cheap-ass paperback books or harlequin novels here, plus you sure as hell ain’t gonna find nothing to read on your I-pad kindle whositswhatsits. For what I understand it’s only first edition leather bound books and (???) up in this joint. Maybe you’re thinking you need to gussy up your place to impress some broad or you have a real need to make people think you got a bigger vocabulary than some Johnny come lately. Either way, Ernie’s got you covered. That’s a book joke! Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books- we got fancy books! F-(beep) you, pay me.

[King Falls AM rock music plays then fades out as the commercial break ends]

Sammy: Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books? There’s two of these stores here? I’ve never even heard of one of them until Rich McGuff! I don’t know what’s more surprising, Ernie’s entrepreneurial rise in the community or him almost making me forget what happened before the break…

Ben: I’m literally afraid to comment one way or another on this. 

Sammy: (amused) He is an intimidating specimen. 

Ben: (carefully and slowly) If he… likes to hear that, then, yes, you are right. If not, please don’t slander that gigantic human!

Sammy: Ha, no slander intended. We’re taking calls and counting down the seconds before we get a riveting interview with the man who some call the Dan Brown of bird related mysteries. 

Ben: Wow, they say that?

Sammy: No, they don’t! (laughs) The phone lines are still lit up, let’s take some calls.

Ben: Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM. 

Greg Frickard: (smugly) Well look who decided to pick up the phone. 

Ben: (quickly) Um, let’s take another-

Greg: Hey, Sammy! I’ve got a topic of discussion. Let’s talk about how that co-host of yours is just gonna sit there all quiet and not even mention the fiasco he caused earlier this week at Granny Frickards!

Sammy: Greg? Is everything okay?

Greg: Oh, it’s not okay, Sammy. That- pardon my French- moron, that he would even-

[the sound of a call ending]

Ben: Whoops!

Sammy: Ha! 

Ben: Line five you are on with Sammy and Ben!

Sammy: Wow, it looks like you learned a thing or two from Chet, I see. 

Ben: Don’t know what you’re talking about!

Caller: Hello?

Sammy: So what happened at Frickard’s?

Caller: Are you talking to me?

Ben: Nothing happened to… let’s just-

Sammy: Not only are you my broadcast partner, I thought we were friends! 

Ben: Hey! We are friends! I just didn’t think to tell you that I happened to have dinner at Frickard’s earlier in the week.

Caller: Hellooo?

Sammy: Uh huh. This wouldn’t happen to be the same night Emily was on a business meeting with Greg, would it?

Ben: I really don’t recall but it might have been… that’s a good question. 

Sammy: You don’t recall going to your least favorite restaurant in town, which you never eat at, on the night of the King Falls Valentines Day Dance where your main squeeze-

Ben: Watch it.

Sammy: Where the girl you pine for-

Ben: Watch it!

Sammy: Where Emily Potter-

Ben: Thanks.

Sammy: Happened to be roped into a business meeting with Greg Frickard.

Ben: My mortal enemy. 

Sammy: Paid sponsor of King Falls AM. 

Ben: Whatever. 

Sammy: You don’t recall if that’s the night you dined at Granny Frickard’s?

Ben: Ehhhh it’s not really ringing any bells! 

Sammy: Maybe we should call Emily. 

Ben: Don’t do that!

Sammy: Things coming back to you now? 

Ben: Did- ugh… can I fill you in at break and not on the air?

Sammy: You’d better! You know, I’m a little sore that you didn’t tell me to begin with! And this was days ago! 

Ben: I’m sorry, man, it’s just it’s not the best story. Believe me.

Caller: Hello? Can we talk now?

Sammy and Ben: No!

[The sound of a call ending]

Sammy: The turkey guy is not sounding so bad right now.

Ben: Ha, why don’t we try… lucky line one, you’re on King Falls AM. 

Greg: Hey Ben Arrrnold! Why don’t you tell the whole friggin town about you showing your butt and ruining my business meeting with Emily Potter!

Ben: Greg, I really don’t wanna get into this. 

Greg: Ohh, you can’t talk in front of Sammy and the whole town- what’s the matter? Frog got your tongue?

Ben: That's not a saying. 

Greg: You sure didn’t have a problem causing a ruckus at the restaurant! In front of Granny no less!

Ben: Can we take another call, Sammy?

Sammy: Is this true, Ben?

Greg: You can’t deny it, Ben Arnold! I’ve got it on camera from multiple angles! You are a heathen.

Ben: Why do you have me making a scene on camera?

Sammy: Multiple angles?

Greg: I’d like to say it’s just the security cameras… but, if you must know, I hid a few cameras around the Froggery for my big night. 

Sammy: You call a business meeting your big night?

Greg: With Emily Potter I absolutely do! She is the most beautiful creature in King Falls!

Ben: So you admit that it was a date?

Greg: It was a business meeting with a gorgeous woman! Take it as you will!

Ben: You’re so creepy! God!

Greg: Oh, so it’s creepy. Wanting your gramma and your future children to see the moment their future mother and I fell in love? Recorded for prosperity forever. Probably. Classily edited to voice a man and everything. 

Ben: Yeah! It’s creepy!

Greg: (singing) I’ll make love to you! Like you want me to, oh baby hold me tight I will love you all through the night…

Sammy: That is really creepy, Greg.

Greg: You’re just a heathen. You don’t know what love is. What do you know? Tell them what you did, Ben!

Ben: I’m not getting into this on the air, Greg. Let’s just-

Greg: I am a paying sponsor of this show, Ben Arnold! Fess up, right now!

Ben: What are you gonna do, Greg?

Greg: So help me I’m gonna ask Granny- real nice- to pull your sponsorship money!

Sammy: Greg... are you crying?

Greg: (in a high pitched voice) No...

Ben: Hmm, so you’re threatening the show over a personal issue?

Sammy: Greg, we appreciate what you and Granny do for the show and the station-

Greg: I’m glad to see one of you does.

Sammy: But I’m not about to let you threaten taking money away from the station to pressure Ben into talking about something he doesn’t want to. Do what you got to do. 

Greg: Ha! Don’t think that I won’t wake up Granny right now!

Ben: You want to talk about this on air, Frickard?

Greg: Tell the people what you did. Just tell them!

Ben: Ugh, okay. So, I made a reservation for myself at the King Falls best f-(beep)-ing Froggery the same night as your video taped date with Emily. 

Greg: Keep going.

Ben: Jack-In-The-Box-Jesus, this is ridiculous. Sammy, I made a reservation and I made a scene! The end.

Greg: Details, heathen!

Sammy: Details would be nice here, Ben. 

Ben: So, uh, (clears throat) I got there right as Emily was sitting down. 

Greg: At a table right next to ours! He requested it!

Ben: That is also true. 

Sammy: Ah.

Ben: And that’s that! I watched Greg lose his mind. Nature took its course. 

Greg: He ordered every single flambé frog special on the menu.

Ben: Yeah? So?

Greg: Everybody who’s anybody knows that that’s the most romantic frog dish in the world! And you cleaned us out!

Ben: So what? You don’t need romance on a business meeting!

Greg: You ordered twenty of those things just for you!

Ben: And I paid for twenty! What’s your point?

Greg: My point? You didn’t even eat them! You brought in Chipotle!

Ben: Yeah, man! Cause frogs are gross!

Greg: You… you’re gross!

Ben: Oh yeah?

Greg: Yeah. You’re gross! A gross heathen and I… I hate you! I hate you! Ha! I said it. I hate you.

Sammy: Guys…

Ben: I’ll do you one better- I never liked you to begin with. You creep me out. 

Sammy: Ben…

Greg: Well, heh, that’s not what your mom says.

Ben: Don’t you bring my mom into this.

Greg: Your mother things I am a fine, upstanding, entrepreneur, and model citizen!

Ben: She’s an idiot then! Sorry mom.

Greg: Heathen!

Sammy: Guys! (Clears throat) Okay so you disturbed Greg’s meeting with Emily. You ordered food you didn’t eat. I-is that it?

Ben: Basically! He lost it because I was probably in the shot of his candid camera date!

Greg: I lost my temper, but you had it coming! You get Emily whenever you want and I schedule months in advance!

Ben: Yeah, and you did it during the Valentine's Day Dance. Just real messed up, man. You’re a stalker. 

Greg: Who showed up at whose date, Ben?

Ben: I was just having dinner at my favorite sponsor’s restaurant.

Greg: You don’t even like frogs!

Ben: Nobody does!

Greg: Why don’t you tell them how you got escorted off the premises?

Ben: You just did, idiot!

Sammy: If you were just eating, or not eating as the case may be, how did they have the grounds to toss you out of Granny Frickard’s?

Ben: Ugh. I- I may have started throwing tiny hush puppies in Greg’s general direction.

Greg: You, you, you may have? Pah-lease! You were pretending to be Nolan Ryan while you’re lobbing them at my head.

Ben: You had no right to kiss Emily’s hand!

Greg: Well you wouldn’t have even known if you weren’t, you know, stalking us to begin with!

Ben: Yeah? Well, uh, stay away from Emily!

Greg: Well I won’t have a problem doing that since she hates us both.

Sammy: I’m sorry, what’s that, Greg?

Ben: Can we move on… please.

Greg: Emily left in a huff and said she wasn’t a prize to be won. Totally thought she was roleplaying and I called her princess Jasmine… Which she also didn’t appreciate… 

Ben: Nice touch, dumbass. Referencing Aladdin don’t make it right.

Greg: It’s kind of ludicrous when you think about it. I mean, she is a prize to be one. She’s the trophiest of trophy wives to ever be trophy won!

Ben: She’s pretty mad, Sammy.

Sammy: It sounds like she kinda should be…

Ben: She probably hates me now, man. Stupid stunt…

Sammy: I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, Ben.

Greg: Oh yeah, she hates him big time. I mean, she hates us both, but it’s basically a win for me. She was only lukewarm to my intentions but she can’t stand Ben now. She’ll eventually come back around to the Frog Prince if, uh, he’s out of the picture.

Ben: Greg.

Greg: I’ll take your apology on air, Ben. But I would also like it written on a nice piece of cardstock so I can show it to Granny.

Ben: I sincerely hope that you catch a frog-based STD and die.

Greg: And I hope that you find another perfect woman to fall head over heels in love with, Ben, because you just struck out. You stuck out big time.

Ben: You’re an imbecile! Nobody likes eating frogs! It’s 2016, Greg! You’re gross!

Greg: Ha! Shows what you know. Some cultures consider frogs the poultry of the pond.

Ben: Literally no cultures say that!

Greg: Oh yeah? Well ask Kirk Sycamore when he comes on, he’ll show you.

Ben: I’m not asking anybody anything.

Sammy: Greg, I think it’s best if we part ways for the night.

Greg: Fine! No skin off my bubble butt! Later haters!

[The sound of a phone hanging up]

Sammy: I think-

Ben: Can we just go to commercial, Sammy? I just- I can’t right now.

Sammy: D-do you want to? Is that on schedule?

Ben: No! And, no… Ugh, just take a couple more calls before the bird man pops in.

Sammy: Lucky line one you’re live on-

Caller: Hi, Sammy. Hi, Ben…

Sammy: Good evening, Emily. I assume you’ve been listening.

Emily. I’ve been listening.

Sammy: You know what, let me put you on hold so you can talk to Ben off the air.

Emily: No! I’d like to talk to Ben on the air, if you don’t mind, Sammy.

Sammy: You know, I uh… Ben?

Ben: Uh, whatever you want, Emily.

Emily: Okay, you know I don’t hate you, Ben. Far, far from it.

Ben: I’m so sorry Emily. I just, I lost it sitting there, thinking that you were all alone with that creep and-

Emily: You acted like a real ass.

Ben: I know I did!

Emily: I’m not a child, Ben. When I told you that I would love to go to the dance with you, that was the truth. But when I also told you that I was a woman of my word and was going to honor my prior engagements, as stupid and contrived as they were, I meant that too.

Ben: I just-

Emily: You acted like an ass!

Ben: I know, but-

Emily: There’s no explanation that will make this better, Ben! You acted like a jealous boyfriend and I’m not sure if you know this, but you aren’t my boyfriend.

Ben: Can I just say-

Emily: Even if I wanted you to be before, you aren’t. So you have no right to act like this!

Ben: (Pausing) You wanted me to be your boyfriend?

Emily: Before the incident there was no doubt about it.

Ben: After?

Emily: I- I- uh- I can’t let my feelings override the fact that you treated me like a kid, Ben. I am a grown woman! I am a professional woman. I don’t need some white knight to save me from the likes of Greg! And while I appreciate the idea behind it, like I said to you and I said to Greg, I am a person! I have feelings! I’m not a prize to be won! 

Ben: I really messed this up, I’m… I’m sorry. Emily if you’ll just-

Emily: I just- I need some time to evaluate what the next step is. 

Ben: Because you hate me.

Emily: No! Bec- because I lo- I strongly strongly like, probably definitely on the verge of more. I mean, I was scared to death that you were hurt or worse during Lincoln’s revenge! But I was scared even more when I saw you acting like a high school bully during that meeting. 

Ben: You strongly strongly like me?

Emily: I do. But it’s, it’s gonna be a little bit before I can trust you to be okay with that.

Ben: I understand. 

Emily: But I… I wasn’t going to let another minute go by of you think that I hated you. Cause I don’t. But you really need to fix this.

Ben: And I will. I- I promise.

Emily: I hope so. (pause) Ah, goodnight, Sammy. Ben.

Sammy: Goodnight, Emily. We will talk soon.

Emily: I’m sure of it. Ah, I actually wanted to talk to you about being one of the library’s spring break speakers soon. I’ll send you an email.

Sammy: Oh, please do. Anything to get the kids back in the library after, you know, Lincoln’s revenge…

Emily: Thanks, Sammy. Goodnight, guys.

Ben: Hey- hey, Emily?

[The sound of a phone hanging up with a beeping that slowly fades out. The King Falls outro music and credits begin.]

References:

Nolan Ryan: a baseball pitcher.

The Big Bang Theory: A television show.

Edward Scissorhands: a charactor from an old fantasy movie by the same name about a man who had scissors for hands.

Harlequin novels: a trashy romance story.

Characters:

Sammy Stevens, Ben Arnold, Troy, Greg Frickard, Emily Potter, Pete Meyers, Beauregard, Ernie Salsado.

[mrssarablack]

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Heterosexual. 

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Hmm, I really don't know. I have my usual things that would qualify but my "obsessions" but they don't often consume me to a high degree, so I have a hard time dubbing anything I like a full blown obsession. 

That being said, it's probably tiktok. The obsession of the moment, I find myself on the app entirely too much because it's just a fun party and oh the things that lead to little research dives are fascinating. Mostly it's the musicians that get me. I love creativity and am forever amazed by the collaborations and straight magic people make in the time allotted... but it takes up way too much of my time when it really shouldn't. I have better things I could be doing. 

3. Ever done any drugs?

Yup. 

4. What piercings do you want?

None. My ears are pierced to the degree I like and I don't really desire anything else to be pierced. 

5. How many people have you kissed?

Enough. 

6. Describe your dream home.

The house I live in outdoes anything I could possibly come up with. I'm very happy with my home, but I'd be happy most anywhere. If I'm honest, I'm a bit Aladdin-like when it comes to living arrangements. My dream home list, if I only considered myself, is the very low bar of a roof over my head  that has a beautiful view. Bonus it has a pool but it's not a requirement. 

Clearly, where I live outdoes that by a longshot and I'm very lucky to have the things I have. I'm not unaware of that fact. 

7. Who are you jealous of?

There is no way for this not to sound like a humble brag in my head, but no one. I've never been the jealous type. There's so much unnecessary energy in wanting what someone else has and jealousy is a negative you just don't need in your life. It's much better to focus on your own joy and not worry about what others are doing. 

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Schitt's Creek

9. Do you watch porn?

I have. 

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

No, I don't.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

I don't know, I'm good, but somewhere warm and with a beach, I guess?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I really only have one and that's of my mother apologizing for what she did. 

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope. 

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I probably wouldn't. 

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yes

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No, but I'm pretty sure some have followed me...🙄

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

My mother. It ebbs and flows between anger and indifference. Depends on the thoughts I'm having surrounding the why of it. 

18. What tattoos do you want?

I don't want any. 

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

Maybe? But probably not. I don't particularly like my name. It's kind of dull, if I'm honest, but at the same time it's my name and I don't have a replacement in my head for it. So, I'm Sara and I'll forever be Sara. It's alright. 

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

I already answered this, but I suppose my general obsession is pokemon. I like the games and the lore. The whole thing is fun and I enjoy it a lot. 

21. Describe your best friend.

She's like sunshine. She's bubbly and sweet. Anna has optimism for days. She can be a little naive but people also see naivety in what is actually her stubbornness. She won't give up on people even if she should. She sees good in almost everything but she isn't unaware that bad exists.

And because of this her kindness shines. She'd help a stranger without hesitation or a need for anything back. She very much is a person who would stick her neck out to save a life. She brings out the best in people and makes it look effortless. She is kind and caring but has a determination that can tackle damn near anything that becomes an obstacle. Anna's a force to reckon with and not many people realize this truth.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

@nikolascblack

Did you really think I'd pick someone else? 

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

This list alternates with moods. I love so many bands and artists. But right now the top five are:

Nikolas Black

AJR

The Beatles

Ok One Rock

P!nk

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I really am that person if given the chance to just pick a plane and go I'd probably take it. I just want to experience all the places so here are the first regions that came to mind...

Italy (like all of it) 

Spain/ Barcelona 

South of France 

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

It's getting warmer so, right now, it's an evening with Nikolas on our back patio. Fire up the grill and enjoy a meal outdoors. Maybe spend some time in the pool. End the evening with a warm blanket and a cuddle. 

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer. My skin may take issue with the sun but I like it best when it's warm and sunny and being outside. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

When I am listening to music… I probably don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone. I do not like when I'm interrupted when my music is on. 

Also, if I'm doing art or sewing … be aware I might get snippy if you choose to interrupt my flow. I like reaching stopping points before I'm asked to change gears. 

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Probably Jakub. He's the king of one liners and his sass gets me. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

I'd say Avatar, was not impressed by space Pocahontas….

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

... um... I'm not really the shy type. If I wanna get to know someone.... I'm going to be friendly to them and start a conversation.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

Paper books but I do register I read more electronic ones. The library system is nice in that format… when I actually finish a book. I don't read that fast so I have like 3 waitlisted at any given time three or four times over just so I can finish it … 😅 

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Pokemon? 

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I dislike questions that make me feel like I'm bragging. Or that could be seen as such but my wardrobe wouldn't really change because my boyfriend allows me to use his funds from time to time to have the nicer clothing items I like. Which sit right alongside my jeans I got from TJ Maxx. Legitimately, it probably wouldn't change at all.

34. What’s your coffee order?

Cold brew or if it's cold I typically, latte it's usually a hazelnut

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No. 

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

I don't. Most of them were pretty shit people. So, yeah… nope, I don't think much on them at all really. 

37. Have any tattoos?

No

38. Do you drink?

Occasionally

39. Are you a virgin?

Heh… no.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope

41. How many followers do you have?

Um… I have no idea. Not many that's for sure.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

I did this once. I'm not going to objectify him again. So instead:

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

True crime documentaries or horror movies. I do not watch them often. Nikolas isn't into it and I'm not going to be the ass that takes the tv and makes him watch something he doesn't like. So, I save it for when I am alone. 

44. Do you read erotica?

I have but I don't seek it out. Typically the erotica I have read has been tucked away in a romance novel and was far more than I expected it to go from the synopsis or anything before that point.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

I have to go with the one where it was clear he asked me out as some sort of revenge date. His ex-girlfriend was at the location with friends and he kept looking over at her trying to see her reaction. It was bad and I dismissed myself as quickly as I could.

46. How many people do you follow?

Again, I don't know. I know it's mostly friends and artists or designers but I'm too lazy to look up the number because I don't care. 

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

This guy right here:

48. Describe your ideal partner.

There's a theme here...

49. Who do you text the most?

Anna? Our friend text line is usually an all day back and forth.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny and warm. Weather that screams "beach day"

[broetry]

Gifts for your reader/writer friends!

(Hello my dudes, my ladies, and my pals! With Christmas coming up, I thought it would be nice to make a list of gifts to give to your writing/reading friends for those of you who are just too tired at this point to come up with anything. I apologize for any grammatical/informational errors.)

•Book lights

•Book-based candles (irewolfcandlesandcuriosities is just one business that sells them)

•Book merchandise (this includes face masks, shirts, pins, bookmarks, art cards,) (redbubble will probably have something for most books, especially traditionally published ones)

•Book sleeves (booknookSleeves and Bookgizmo are just two businesses that sell them)

•A book subscription box (goscribbler or Button Poetry have them)

•Subscription to a writing Masterclass

•If they have an Instagram account, book props (fake flowers, vintage cards/paper, old-looking necklaces, )

•A case for their kindle

•Commission art of their characters/characters they kin

•Try to find special editions of their Favorite Books, especially if there’s extra scenes/an interview/a new shiny cover

•If they’re a writer and they have been researching a certain topic specifically, get them a magazine based off that thing to help their studies. (Ex: one of my characters is in the painting restoration business so my dad got me a book on different painting techniques)

•Small White boards (especially for your Plotter writer friend)

•If they happen to cosplay a book character, find outfits at goodwill that they could use in their cosplays.

• fuzzy Blankets

•Get them a writing Prompt book (easily found at the book section of 5 and Below or at B&N)

•Make them a soap and name/base it off a book/characater they like/made (here’s some links to soap tutorials)

https://youtu.be/acRfwZ2Oi6I

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ4CDt5B/

https://youtu.be/KahqPaxVSyE

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ4CSMGo/

https://youtu.be/xsIT6aGetvw

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ4CmkBw/

For those on a tight budget-

•If you’re unable to buy anything for them, customize a Spotify playlist for their reading/writing time

•Draw them some fanart that they can see when they’re feeling down about their writing

•You can also make them themed bookmarks with stock paper and markers if you’re on a budget, readers lose bookmarks at a very fast rate and they will greatly appreciate it

•Origami. (don’t question it)

•Get them some of their favorite snacks for when they’re writing/reading

•Get them a nice mug that reminds you of them, along with a box of a new flavor of tea (if they like tea) for when they’re reading/writing

•If you can find a thrift store with cheap paperbacks, buy books that when you align the titles together, the first letters spell out their name. (Ex: my name is Rae, so Ready Player One, Anne of Green Gables, Erratic And Unnecessary.)

•Stickers. Just stickers.

•Download a bunch of tiktoks and use the Vont app to make a compilation based off a book series they like/ or writing tips (you can also do this with meme formats on Pinterest and using the Phonto app for words)

•If they like buddy reading, find a few free kindle ebooks (they’re everywhere) and make a buddy reading schedule for you guys (bonding!)

•Make a physical list of names for imaginary people/places/landmarks and decorate it for them in case they ever get stuck on names

And now for some book recs, in case you’re not a reader and don’t know what to choose-

If they like poetry-

•Growing Gold by Syrah Kai

•Midnight comes by S. J. Blasko

•Among The Stars by Sameer Monn

•Lavender And Other Field Flowers/ Shes Honey Love by Mhari Grace (a two-book poetry collection)

•A girl is a shapeshifter by Jasmine S Higgins

•Crown Of Stars by Mallory Rowe

•A Handful Of Haikus by Indianna Daveson

•Stirred Moments by Abbey Forest (a multi-book collection of poetry)

•Paper scraps/ love as a distinct possibility (both are poetry books by Chloe Henkel)

•Mountains by Tasha Doughman

•When the stars wrote back by Trista Mateer

If they’re into Middle Grade:

•Of Friend And Fiend /Of Monster And Mayhem by T Strange (it’s the first two books in a middle grade fantasy trilogy, this would be especially good for middle grade readers who like Thicc books)

If they like fantasy/dystopian-

•Defy / Unchain (the first two books in the Murder Of Crows dystopian fantasy series by Kayleigh Gallagher)

•Ember Dragon Daughter by Rebecca K Sampson (first book in a fantasy series)

•Silent Night / Sacred Ruse bye Emma K Couette (first 2 books in The Guild trilogy)

•The Love Of Her Kingdom by Zoe Anastasia (fantasy standalone)

•When The Sky Eats by K Weikel (stand-alone)

•Broken Aether by S. G. Bacon (this one is Steampunk)

•The Fate If The Fallen by A E Winstead

•The Disease Ones by Danielle Harrington

If they like contemporary-

•Lie Like A Magpie by Lily Anna

•Stars Above by Brooke Tiedt

•Dewdrops and butterflies by Libby May

•The Boy Who Steals Houses by C.G. Drew’s

•Leaving Wishville by Mel Torrefranca

If they like anthologies-

•There Is Us: an anthology (edited by S.J. Blasko)

•Nostalgic Nightmares And Daydreams (an anthology arranged by Ren Elliot)

•Anthologies by King & Friends

•Starlight by Hannah Lee Kidder (this isn’t an anthology, it’s a compilation of short stories, so it’s similar to an anthology)

And if your reader happens to be Very Little,

•The Day It Rained Iguanas by Lauren Darnell

•Outside the lines by Abbey Forrest

•Pluto And The Lost Carrot by Irene Sizopoulos (for the ones who are now getting into chapter books)

Stay gucci my dudes!

[impossiblemakerfire]

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She floats in the void, nestled in the oozing black liquid unable to move, just barely able to breathe. Panic starts to set in. Moments go by, though each feels like hours. She isn't sure if this is a spell or if death had finally found her. She wants desperately to leave, to return to her world, to her village, her family, and her fiance, all taken so long ago. - Oh my goodness! I didn't want to wait another month and I can't BELIEVE it took me this long to make a post of this amazing piece done by the wonderfully talented artist, @arz28. She was just amazing to work with and I lover her interpretation of Salvia as much as Odette's on the cover of the novella. This scene here takes place in Chapter 8 of the story, Our Past. It's available now on Amazon as paperback and ebook of y'all want to read it. - Writing Update: Ok so RaF is well into Round 2 of Betas. My feelings have been up and down about it and I'm pretty sure RaF may actually be pushed to next year. Can't tell you anymore about that until I'm certain. As for book 2 in my The Call for Finis series, Lust, my alpha reader has just started reading the manuscript. I'm hoping to have that ready for betas by Fall. It's going to be much smaller than Pride. Subscribe to my newsletter so you guys can get more info on that in the coming months. That's it for now. More news coming soon. QOTD: What is your favorite bookish art that ISN'T from a traditionally published book? And yes, you can cheat and say something from your own book lol. #KimmersBooks #Bookstagram #FantasyBook #BookLife #Book #AmReading #Fantasy #HighFantasy #EpicFantasy #NewAdult #NA #TCfFP #WritingUpdate #WIPUpdate #BookUpdate #PoC #Demon #PoCCharacter #BooksAreMagic #BooksAreMagical #BooksOfIg #BooksOfInstagram #ReadersOfIg #ReadersOfInstagram #BookArt #BookishArt #IndieBook https://www.instagram.com/p/CQZWvX5L6MQ/?utm_medium=tumblr