#someone who wants to die deeply and keep my mental health in tact
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i have a disorder called gets a fic idea then blacks out until it's done
#last week i forgot abt uni work entirely and today i accidentally wrote 5k in two hours. yesterday i wrote on my PHONE the entire train ride#home when i got this idea#that was like an hour half#im so tired but all i can think abt is writing help#LMAO YEAH AND I JUST REMEMBERED last week on my last work i went to my favorite café at noon then next thing i knew the staff came up and#told me they were closing in 10 minutes. it was 5pm. i had written so fucking much#i know im ill but like i also.. have to get myself into the headspace. like today i blasted sad music with an iced coffee after serrating my#skin by writing on it with pen and smoking a fag. i feel like im two seconds from not taking my meds so i can really FEEL the suicidality#and write so so good but that's a bad fuckin idea so im gonna stick with writing slightly slower/needing more editing for the tone of#someone who wants to die deeply and keep my mental health in tact#anyway i love projecting onto characters to work through my own problems it's so !!!!#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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