#sometimes I forget that I can just slap y'all with angst and get away with it

[chaoticspacefam]

11, 15, 27 and 30 for Ahaszaai twins (questions for extraordinary muses)? (sorry if late)

From [Questions for 'Extraordinary' Muses]

(if you either want the list or wanna send in some more. Ik I rb'd this a while ago but after this & the blorbo bingo one(s) are answered the askbox is gonna be empty again so open to taking more if y'all want! 💪)

Thank you for the ask @a-master-procrastinator !! I had fun with this one hehe

Some notes:

Gonna take the stance of "ability" being the Force ability that they're most well-known for rather than just the Force as a whole because. That's not "extraordinary" in and of itself in the SWTOR universe xP Click the ability name for the Wookieepedia page in case you're not familiar with the Force ability itself and want a refresher/explanation! :3 For Saarai, it's psychometry and for Ni'kasi it's Force-walking

Also feel like it'd be more fun to answer these in-character for a change so that's what we're gonna do! 😊

Alrighty now that we're on the same page, onto the questions!! :'DD Under a cut bc it's a long post, no specific warnings needed other than spoilers for the Sith Inquisitor storyline if you haven't done it, some swearing, and some mild implied angst <3

11. Have you ever had an embarrassing moment while using your ability?

Saarai huffs softly, her jaw spurs rattling in embarrassment as she ducks her head and mutters. "Lana and Koth promised not to tell anyone!" she whines, staring at her own shoes for a moment, before begrudgingly looking up to answer. "...Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll admit it." the Pureblood shuffles her weight from one foot to another, arms crossing over her broad chest. "Sometimes I forget to wear my gloves, so it can be pretty embarrassing when I pick something up or touch something and all of a sudden I'm bitch-slapped with a torrent of Force visions about all the blood and death and shit that the thing was connected to. Usually I'm er...I'm better at planting my feet and pushing through it but...." a distant look enters her sulfur-yellow eyes, and she trails off for a long moment as if Saarai were somewhere else entirely. If you're observant, you'll notice a shudder of discomfort work its way through the Pureblood's normally-sturdy frame. "But Nathema...that was a whole different beast. I didn't think- Gods, I never wanted to cry like that in front of Lana or Koth but it all hit me at once and I just couldn't help it." It might be best not to press her for more details, whatever she saw in those visions, it clearly was upsetting for Saarai.

Ni'kasi, however, remains quiet at first. Her eyes scrutinise you closely, as if she's trying to decide whether she can get away with giving away information that might make her 'vulnerable'. A soft breath huffs from her nostrils, and she shakes her shoulders out before admitting, her face blank and unreadable of any sort of humiliation or sheepishness that might give away how she really feels about the story she's telling. "....I suppose, the first time I tried to use it. The first time I fought Thanaton. That's what I get for trusting Zash at her word, it never happened again, and it never will. I got cocky, and figured I could handle far more power than I was prepared to." more quietly, she mutters. "Mother was right, as usual. Should've listened to her." her impassive mask of an expression does crack, then, as she flashes a sharp-toothed grin. "Fucker's deader than the ghosts in my head, now so...tell someone about Darth Occulus' greatest fuck up, or don't. Nobody's going to believe you if you do."

15. Would you ever choose to trade your ability for another?

Again, Saarai goes quiet. For a moment you wonder if she's heard your question at all, but when she speaks up it's clear she had, it was just something she genuinely had to put a lot of thought into for a moment. "....You know what? I don't think so." she shrugs, letting out a mirthful laugh and seeming to shake off the melancholy that had taken hold of her moments before. "Listen, as much as not being able to touch shit without gloves on can suck sometimes it's...it's something that's always been there, y'know? It's a part of me, just like the Force is. I think I'd feel like I wasn't whole if I woke up tomorrow and the psychometry was gone."

Ni'kasi doesn't even hesitate before she shakes her head. "No. Not for anything in the galaxy. It was a difficult ability to master, but it...gave me a connection to my family, my mother in particular, that I'm not sure I would've had without it." she smirks, thinking of Thanaton, though her lips settle into a smile that's far more fond as she carries on talking. "I could've found a way to kill that bastard without it, but...having mother there to talk to, even now, is nice. Makes me miss her a lot less than I did before I learned to Force-walk."

27. If you could give your abilities to one person for a day, who would it be?

Saarai's answer this time is far more immediate, and her voice raises perhaps a little more than she means it to in her vigor to convey her point. "NO ONE!" seeming to realize that such a loud outburst might have startled you, she coughs, spurs trembling again, and when she speaks again her tone returns to its normal register. "Look, I'm not even sure if this is something that you can just learn or...or give to someone else. I was born with it, as far as I know. But even if it was possible, trust me, I wouldn't want anyone else rushing into this. It seems cool on paper, and as much as I'm used to it now and wouldn't get "rid" of it, seriously...it gets old real fast. When it's helpful, it's helpful but when it sucks? It really sucks. The constant fear that some weapon or object you pick up is gonna be a metaphorical brick to the face, the nightmares in your sleep...You don't want this."

Lady Occulus folds her arms behind her back, raises her chin and stares down at you, hard. "Why?" she asks at length, trying to parse out why you're prying into that particular question. "Who wants to know?"

(Author intervention (for the actual answer since Kas isn't gonna give it 🤣) : She might entertain teaching an apprentice she trusts, buuuuuttt she'd have to be certain they wouldn't turn on her and use it against her. I mean, that's basically what she did to Zash and Thanaton and she's not stupid enough to open herself up to that same achilles' heel 😉)

30. Name one skill you haven’t yet perfected that you want to master.

Saarai smiles again, a big, toothy grin this time. Unlike her twin, she's not the least bit shy about admitting her shortcomings and even laughs as she does so. "I wouldn't mind learning how to be better with Force lightning. It's not something I was ever good at, I can do a little but...Kas and Lana are way better at it than I am." she gestures at her posture, all bulk and hard muscle. "Doesn't lend itself so well to the artistry and the fine hand movements, does it? Nah, I'm more like...the battering ram that kicks the door in while they do the finicky lightning work. Still, it might be handy to be better at it, bet it comes in handy for short-circuiting those droids, or consoles and stuff."

Ni'kasi sniffs, seeming almost offended that you're still trying to poke into her weak points. When Rai gets more animated discussing hers, however, she seems to consider an answer of her own that isn't too damning to her reputation. A soft chuckle escapes the Pureblood, her eyes shining with an undeniable fondness and admiration for her sister, if you're looking closely enough to notice that is. "...I'm not good with people. Not like Rai is. Bossing people around and telling them what to do? That I can do. But making friends, making people like me? She makes it look so fucking easy and sometimes I wish I could be more like her..."

[jameui]

ANGEL

Requested

PAIRING: Wong Yukhei x M!Reader

GENRE: Angst, Fluff

WARNING: Lucas is a flirt, death, not properly proofread

SUMMARY: You were madly in love with the one and only Wong Yukhei and you thought maybe a few changes in yourself would help him see what's he'd been missing in you. I mean it is what you've seen in movies and stories, right?

PLAYLIST:

CLINTON KANE - I Guess I'm In Love

5 SECONDS OF SUMMER - Amnesia

SAM SMITH, DEMI LOVATO - I'm Ready

LEWIS CAPALDI - Hold Me While You Wait

CONAN GRAY - Heather

CHRISTINA PERRI - Thousand Years

LANY - heart won't let me

JEREMY ZUCKER, CHELSEA CUTLER - you were good to me

TAYLOR SWIFT - Safe and Sound

To say you had a crush on the school's prince would be an understatement. Heck, you were head over heels for the male. If you were to describe how much you really love him, you'd say 'I'd give the whole world to this man if I could', you'd even give up almost everything if he asked you to. That's just how madly in love you were for the senior.

You don't understand why you fall for handsome guys so quickly, even to those you know you won't get a chance to be with. It's not like you do have a chance with anyone of them, but that's besides the point. You were a new student in the school just a year ago and look at where you are now, staring in awe at the male who was playing basketball with his friends. Every lunch break you would forget about the food you prepared until it grew cold from watchinf the most handsome male you have ever seen in your entire life. You sometimes wonder whether he swings that way, but you can already see that the male was as straight as a pencil.

Your 'little crush' for Lucas is so obvious, it sometimes becomes a talk of their group during water breaks. Just like now. As the 5-member basketball team chose to take a small break, they started to walk their way to the bench near the bleachers drinking their waters away.

"Hey, Lucas. Looks like your admirer's staring at you, again." One of Lucas' friends told him making the said male roll his eyes and scoffed.

"I knew I got the feeling that somebody's watching me." Lucas mumbled, uncapping the water bottle and drank it all in one gulp. Lucas was also aware of the feelings you have for him, but he didn't like the way you had feelings for him. It was weird and didn't quite feel right. Guys don't fall for other guys, right?

Jungwoo, Lucas' best friend among the group spoke out after he had drank his water. "He looks a little cute, though."

Lucas stared at the male like he was a lunatic, glaring his eyes at him. He didn't like the words that came out his mouth. "Stop saying that, Jungwoo."

Jungwoo shrugged his shoulders. "I just wanted to say something that's not negative. I mean, he's not even doing anything to hurt you."

Lucas crossed his arms and puts all his weight onto one foot. "Right, but he always embarrass me with all these little stunts he tries to pull off." Lucas pointed out, Jungwoo looking at him with a raised brow.

"You're the one who embarrasses him with all your inconsiderate jokes." Jungwoo spat back, that made Lucas scoff in disbelief. Before things get out of hand, Taeyong broke off the growing tension by raising his hand and shouting his name out.

"What?" The group looked at Taeyong as he stared into nothing and brought his hand back down.

"I just remembered something." Taeyong answered with no expression on his face at all. "But, I don't want to tell y'all."

Meanwhile as they were talking, your thoughts were broken when your friends startled you when they yelled your name in your. You immediately covered your ears and looked at them with a small glare. "Kim Minjeong! How many do I have to tell you to stop doing that?! God, my ear is still fucking ringing."

Minjeong, or some may know as, Winter, the instagram goddess, rolled her eyes at you and slapped your shoulders lightly. "Always so dramatic, M/n." She said before crossing her arms with a smile, seeing you try to ease the ringing in your ear.

"Cut him some slack, Winter." Jimin, or Karina as she likes to be called, told Winter who only pouted and sat down on her chair beside you. "He was daydreaming about Lucas, again." Karina joked your friends bursting into fits of laughter making you glare at them.

"Giselle, do something." You pleaded at her, but knowing her she's never gonna pick your side.

"Oh, no. I'm good, M/n. I'm with them on this one." Giselle laughed with them, you looking at your last hope, Ningning who immediately stopped laughing once both your eyes met with each other. You gave her pleading eyes as she cleared her throat and gained the girls' attention.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the moment she looked at you once more she bursted out laughing again, the others going at it as well. You huffed angrily and slumped down on your seat. Every time this happened, you just felt so humiliated. You knew they were just messing around with you, but you think it's not really funny to make fun of your hopeless dreams.

Winter was the first one to notice your distress and calmed down from her laughing wiping a stray tear from the side of her eyes and puts a hand on your shoulder only for you to shove off. It took her aback and the other girls, too who immediately realized they had gone too far with their teasing. They were ganging up on you, who was helpless given that the girls were laughing at you. "M/n, sorry—"

"You should be." You huffed, feeling your tears water, not enough to make you cry, but just enough to make your vision turn into a blur. "It's not easy being stuck in a body with so much flaws." You said side-eyeing them. "And just look at you four, you're given beauty and all things bright, while I was left with nothing. It hurts even more that my only friends were one of the people who likes to make feel so self-conscious."

Karina widened her eyes and got up from her seat to approach you, feeling guilt eat her whole. "What? No. M/n. We're not trying to embarrass you—"

"But it was. One way or another." You cut her off, looking back outside catching Lucas' eyes that was watching you. You flinched and hid behind your back. "Fuck, enough drama. I just made eye contact with the Wong Yukhei."

"WHAT?!" They exclained in unison as you nodded your head, all squealing in delight.

"You need to talk to him." Ningning pushed you, but something was irking you in the pit of your stomach. It was a very uncomfortable feeling.

"I dunno, Ning. It always leads to disaster when I try to talk to him. I—" As you were talking, a loud commotion happened outside specifically screams and whistling was heard, as your group went outside to check what it was all about.

It was Lucas and his friends just... walking. Karina rolled her eyes in annoyance. "So, even when they're basically just walking it still a big deal."

"Sh, sh. Shut up. Lucas is so daddy material." You shushed Karina as you gave hearty eyes to Lucas who was exchanging glances with every girl he sees and gives them a small wink and compliment. You sighed dreamily and got back inside your classroom plopping yourself down on your chair. "He's so dreamy."

"Lucas? No. He's a flirt and a widely known heartbreaker." Giselle rolled here eyes and sat dowm on her chair, cross-legged. "What did you even see in him, though? He's too straight for my liking."

You smiled to yourself and wondered, what did he actually have that made you fall for him? You looked at Giselle and smiled wider. "His big dick energy vibes." You giggled.

"Him? I don't think the words 'big dick' describe him well. It's a different story with his attitude, though." Giselle chuckled, turning down your assumptions about him.

"You.. you have a point." You replied.

The noise soon died down and the classes went back on which you obviously dreaded so much, since you slept through the whole afternoon from how bored you were and how much you hated the subject. Karina was the perfect cover, since she would always try her best to hide you when you fell asleep in class, but only if you'd do the same to her when the same thing happens to her. You'd even exchange seats when needed.

Later, your classes had finished, with you sleeping through all of it, Giselle kind enough to let you copy her notes. "You better not do anything stupid with it." She pointed at you as you smiled.

"Don't you trust me enough?" You tutted your tongue and Giselle only raised you a brow. You groaned in reply, before chuckling at how they never found the courage to trust you anymore. "Goodness, yeah. I won't do anything with it."

"Good. Now I have to go. Service is on the way." Giselle announced as she hoisted her school bag over her shoulders and nods your way before she left. She waved goodbye at you four, giving her the same in reply.

You clasped your hands together and looked at your friends. "Well, I'll also be heading out, I still have a lot of work to do." You chuckled and grabbed your backpack letting it hang on your shoulder with one strap. "Bye, guys." You waved them goodbye and left for home.

---------

Upon your arrival, you immediately took a quick shower, got changed into a much more comfortable clothes and plopped yourself on your bed and checked your phone. You looked at your messaging app and saw that Lucas was active. You felt yourself purse your lips as a smile crept its way up to your face. "Should I chat him?" You thought for a second before dropping your phone on your bed and shook your head. "Nah. That'd probably be only become a new story for him to tell behind my back." You replied to yourself, having had enough with all the names you get from other students.

You got up from your bed and moved to your desk to take down notes or rather copy the notes Giselle wrote down on her notebook. As soon as you opened her notebook, all you could ever think was how neat her handwriting was. "Pretty." She always puts designs and headers on her notes which makes it hard for you not to read.

You let out a small chuckle first before you started to jot down notes on your own notebook, once in a while looking at Giselle's notebook.

You weren't a one of the striving students to work their ass off to get the perfect grade a parent wants their child to have. Your only goal was to be able to make the cut. You don't know what's so important with grades that people worry over it.

As you started to notice the time tick away, you were able to think of finally eating. It has already been a long time since you last a complete meal, mainly since you tried to lose weight because you thought it would impress Lucas and you'd finally be able to catch his attention, but you were so wrong when his treatment towards you never changed. He continued to despise you and showed not mutual interest. Everytime you sparked up a conversation with him, he'd only reply with something cold or sometimes even snarky that'd immediately shut you up.

You paused your writing activity and got downstairs to eat a snack. Unfortunately, there was nothing left on the table, but a pitcher of warm water. You sighed and heard your stomach grumble. "I'll buy some bread. Hope that satisfies my hunger a bit." You moved back upstairs to your room and took some of your saved allowance to use it in buying the bread.

You got outside of your house making sure to lock it before you finally head out. As you did, a very familiar voice called out to you. "M/n?"

Your attention was successful caught as you looked back at the person who called your name. You smiled seeing that it was one of Lucas' friends, Jungwoo. "Oh, Jungwoo-sunbae. Good afternoon."

Jungwoo chuckled and smiled as well in reply. "Oh, please drop the honorifics and just call me Jungwoo. Didn't I tell you that already? You just don't listen, do you?" He joked.

You laughed awkwardly and scratched your nape. "Can I at least call you hyung? I'd feel terrible if I don't do so."

Jungwoo considered for a second before he nodded his head with a smile that showed his pearly white teeth. "Sure. I actually don't mind what you prefer to call me." Jungwoo told you.

You started to get out of your front porch and ran to Jungwoo, hugging him by his side the slightly taller male wrapping his arm around your waist. Damn, you just don't know how much he loves doing that. You don't know how much he loves meeting you just so you'd hug him. He'd find any way just to get to talk to you, even if all you two, well you mostly, talk about is Lucas and no one else, but Lucas.

He doesn't get jealous when all your eyes ogle at is Lucas. His only want is to see you smiling, even if it wasn't for him. Even if it wasn't him who was the reason behind your every smile. "What brings you here, hyung? God, I still need some getting used to it." You said, then looked up at the male with a small smile.

"I was about to buy some bread. Little sister won't stop bothering me unless I bought it for her." Jungwoo sighed.

You chuckled and broke away from the hug. "Winter, as usual. I'm headed to the bakery, too. Let's go together." Jungwoo ruffled your hair and nodded.

"I'm glad your getting your stomach stuffed, again." Jungwoo pointed out, which you just smiled to.

"Well, I guess it's the only way to get my ownself back after accepting the fact that Lucas can never love me back." You said as you both started to walk to the bakery shop.

Jungwoo was hurt, not because he was jealous, but he felt the same pain you were feeling. He knew you could never reciprocate the same feeling he felt for you, since all that's filling your head is Lucas. Nothing, but Lucas.

....Okay, maybe he is a tad bit Jealous.

Although, it hurts him to see you getting all loyal like a dog to Lucas when all he's ever done to you was to treat you like a street child or trash as though you were not human. He'd humiliate you and all Jungwoo could ever do was watch, afraid that his friendship with Lucas will end. Feeling guilty, Jungwoo sighed running his fingers through his hair. "M/n, Sorry."

You, confused, glanced up at him and asked him. "For what?"

Jungwoo sighed once again, trying to gather all the courage left in him. He had a lot, by the way, but when it comes to you, all of it seems to just dissipate. Poof, gone like a bubble. "You know, for.. just letting Lucas humour you?"

Your mouth formed an 'o', nodding your head ever so slightly. "Psh, you don't have to apologize for that. He's just a real jerk."

Jungwoo raised you a brow. "And yet you still have a crush on him?"

"Uh, yeah. I only said that because it was true, duh." You said and later you two arrived at the bakery shop buying the types of bread you wanna eat. "Hyung, you should try this. It tastes very delicious despite its appearance. Guess that's why it's called 'Ugly Bread'." You laughed. "At least it makes up for its flavor."

You two were, now headed back to your house and as soon as you got back, Jungwoo waved goodbye at you waiting just outside your porch to make sure you were safe until you disappeared from his sight. He left all the while smiling to himself at how cute you looked with cartoon themed pajamas. The memory becoming a chief event in his head.

As soon as you got back, you're phone was reconnected to the internet and you heard it go iff a few times as you took it out of your pants' pocket. You saw that it was a text coming from Ningning. "What could this be?"

You opened it and saw the text messaged was a news about Lucas. Thinking it was a good news, you went to scroll up and read the past chats only to receive yhe news that Lucas had gotten into an accident. "WHAT?!" You almost spat out the milk you were drinking from the shock you felt. It did get you a small sigh of relief when it was announced that Lucas was doing just fine. "Thank goodness."

The following day, though you'd expect that the usual day would happen, but it seemed awfully quiet except for the occasional whispers and loud gossips you heard in the hallways. You'd think they were all about Lucas, which was one event where you were right, except it wasn't about the common topic you were usually hearing.

"Oh my gosh. Have you seen his face already? It's so horrible!"

'What? Horrible? Well, that man had a face of a god, how can it be horrible?' You thought to yourself and saw Jungwoo who looked too frantic trying to call for someone on the phone.

You gripped the strap of your bag tighter and walked closer to Jungwoo who groans silently when his calls gets rejected. "Jungwoo-hyung." You put on a smile while you called the older male's name, grabbing his attention as he gave you the same genuine smile pocketing his phone inside one of his pockets. The male suddenly felt all his worries evaporate into thin air the moment he saw your happiness inducing figure. As soon as you got close enough to him you gave him your question. "Where's Lucas-sunbae?"

"That's actually what I'm trying to find the answer to. He was the one I was calling and I did for a lot of times already." Jungwoo sighed, one hand on his waist the other pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Lucas was just too caught up with his fame he couldn't even accept the skin flaw that was now on his face, caused by the accident he got involved.

"Was he alright though? Did he experience any injuries? I heard it takes a very long time to heal. Maybe he should have stayed in the hospital, wait, did he come to school, by the way?" You said all in one go,never taking a pause to breathe. Jungwoo blinked his eyes several times before he inhaled deeply and nodded his head. "He should have rested."

"There weren't any major injuries, except the wound that was for sure enough to make a permanent scar on his left eye." Jungwoo replied. "He was drunk driving when I basically told him that night not to drive when he was drunk and now, he's blaming it all on me."

"Well, that's not very nice." You said.

"Right?" Jungwoo heaved out a small huff and crossed his arms. He looked at you and wondered if he should tell you. For a second, he thought he shouldn't, but what weird reasons would there be to not tell you, right? "He actually lost one eye on that accident."

"What?! Oh, no, poor, sunbae..." You pouted and told Jungwoo in determination. "I'm gonna go find him. He won't be that far from here." You said and started your search for Lucas.

People thought you were just as weird as ever, still trying to be worried of a hideous looking person by looking for him. These people were the ones who's weird in the head. They now saw Lucas differently only because he had a huge wound on his face and had one empty eye socket. For pete's sake, he's still a human not a broken phone for you to just throw away when you don't want it anymore.

As your search continued, there was only one more place where you didn't look. The rooftop. "Damn it. If he's in there, I'm asking the world what the fuck is up with people and school rooftops. Why there out of so many places?" You tut your tongue and went up the small stairs that lead up to the rooftop.

You finally made it to the door and hesitantly placed your hand on the door knob before turning it to open the door. The wooden door gave out a small squeak once you opened it and there you saw Lucas who was curled up into a ball, head buried in his knees. You silently closed the door behind you and approached the male as quiet as possible before you sat a decent distance beside him. "Lucas—"

"Don't call me that." He cut you off, head still buried in between his knees his voice sounding a little nasally, making it obvious that he had been crying.

You felt pity for the older male as you tried to move a little closer. "Yukhei-sunbae? Are you alright?" You asked him,but the male just kept his head low.

"No, now stop talking to me." He replied with anangry tone making you furrow your brows.

"I wasn't planning to. I just wanna stay right here until you're ready to talk. I'll be like your personal teddy bear that gives you comfort." You smiled, fully knowing that he won't be able to see it, but the thought of having the only decent conversation with him made your heart flip.

He groaned and lifted his head up, rolling his eye only to place his head back down. "Shut up, femboy."

"Does it ever hurt you to try and say my name?" You knitted your brows, feeling a bit disappointed and angry at the same time. Sure, you wanted to understand his situation, but would you be able to do so when he's been like this since the day you met him?

Lucas was engulfed with nothing, but air until he softly replied. "...no."

You were both filled with silence, until Lucas decided that he should go already. You were there and if he wanted his problems to be solved, this was not gonna work. You looked up, but you didn't want to stop him which he actually found surprising since it was common for someone to stop them if they were leaving, but not in this case. Lucas had already left the place and was a few distance away from where he were before when he halted his action.

Lucas didn't feel bothered, but he was just a little curious, so he clicked his tongue and like a child pouted, walked back inside the school's rooftop and sat back down beside you. You looked back at him and smiled. "You.. were not gonna stop me?"

"I was, but then, I kinda thought I was breaking your personal space so it was my fault." You reasoned out, seating in an angel position.

"Don't blame yourself." Lucas said, his expression never changing, but the coldness in them never left his features. "I'm actually happy someone came to find me." Lucas said while he had his head hung low. Now, he felt so guilty for the way he treated you when he realized the intentions behind every action of yours towards him was because you actually cared for him and you still do even when people was goinf against him.

"Jungwoo was calling your phone, but you didn't accept every single one of it." You told him with a small chuckle.

You were both blanketed over with silence again, not until Lucas tried to break the ice. "C-can I tell you something? You know as, uhm, my personal teddy bear?" You snapped your head at him quite shocked, your reaction making him blush bashfully and feel a little embarrassed. "I-I mean, that is what you said. So you better do your work properly." Lucas huffed, you laughing in reply. He didn't talk for a whole minute before you gave him a nod. He sighed and brought his hands down to clasp them together. "I never told this anyone before, but, you know I may have a lot of friends and people who adore me, but every time I still felt so lonely, like I was all alone and felt so empty on the inside. Know what I mean?"

"Kinda. Continue."

"It feels like, I am missing a very important piece in my life that I somehow lost since a long time ago." Lucas looked down while fidgeting with his fingers.

"Sunbae, you may have had everything, but—"

"I had everything!" Lucas cut you off, feeling frustrated. "And if it weren't for that god darn accident I wouldn't be getting this fucking scar!" Lucas groaned in annoyance, wishing he had just died in that accident than to live a life where everyone hates him. "I just wish I have—"

You fully knowing what he'd say next you decided to not let him continue and cut him off mid sentence. "I want to adopt a dog, but mother's allergic to animal fur!" You screamed on the top of your lungs to let all the negative energy disappear.

Lucas looked at you with knitted brows. "What?"

You sighed through your nose and glance up at him, then huffed. "That scar... to me, it is a symbol, sunbae," You said with a grin forming on your face. "A symbol of how strong you really are. Hell, you survived an accident that caused death to a million of people. You were so lucky! May they rest in peace." You mumbled the last sentence, Lucas' brows being pulled together even more. Your attention was brought back down to the floor, playing with your fingers you exhaled deeply. "I know we really don't know each other well. You hate me, I like you, but hey, even when all is lost, you'd still have me to stay by your side." You chuckled and playfully punched the side of Lucas shoulder. "On the plus side, if it weren't for that scar you wouldn't be able to know who would've stayed by your side and who didn't." You smiled.

Lucas was moved by your small speech, feeling his heart soften for the younger male. "Yeah..."

As you two were about to leave, Lucas stopped you taking you aback. "What is it, sunbae?"

"Just... call me Lucas." He told you which made you smile and squeal before you skipped your way to your classroom and sighed in happiness as you waited for your four gurl friends to arrive since you have a lot of things to tell them.

-------

Days have passed, turning into weeks, that turned into months and nothing much really changed except that you became the once school prince's best friend, second to Jungwoo, of course. "Lucas!" You called out to the male with a wave of your hand and a wide toothy smile, Lucas in the middle of punching a boy's face for talking bad about you, his best friend.

Lucas turned to look at you and pulled the sides of his lips upwards until it reached to the heavens. "Angel!" Lucas dropped the male to the ground and opened his arms for yourself to throw at him. You ran to him and threw yourself intohis arms as he caught you in between them and spun you around as if you were the lightest thing in the planet. "How was your weekend?"

You giggled as he puts you back down and you look up at him. "It was fine and look. I got you something." You told him and took something out of your bag. "Ta-da!" It was a black leather eye patch. It wasn't much, but Lucas loved it. It did come from you. If was somebody else, he wouldn't take it. "I know it's too simple, but I was thinking of you when I bought this. I just thought maybe you wanted to get rid of those patches on your eye." You giggled and stood on your tippy toe to place it on him.

Lucas noticed how you were having a hard time to let him wear the eye patch, so he bent his knees down a little you thanking him right after. Simply, he could have just taken it from you and let hinself di the wearing, but letting you do it just makes it look so sweet and cute. And he loved every second bit of it. "There." You said once you were finished.

Lucas smiled down at you and messed up your perfectly styled hair. "I love it, M/n." He said which made you giggle.

"Well, well, if it weren't my two favorite lovebirds." Jungwoo's voice came from behind you as you felt your smile get wider and ran up to the male and hugged him. "How've you been, babe?" Jungwoo asked you with his sweet gentle voice placing a small kiss on your lips right after. Your small hands pulled him closer as you buried your face on his chest.

Lucas rolled his eyes at the sight of you two being all lovey dovey in front of him. "Hey, hey. No PDA allowed."

"I didn't interrupt you when you were kissing—"

"KIM JUNGWOO!" You both laughed at Lucas as he turned into a blushing mess.

All things may have been fun with you three and your friends...

During the night after your date with Jungwoo, you were walking home. "M/n." Jungwoo softly called your name holding your hand as he walked you home. You turned to look at him as he had his held down.

"Babe, what's wrong?" You asked him feeling concerned.

"Baby, are you still inlove with Lucas?" Jungwoo asked you all of a sudden that got you shaking your head vigorously to deny his assumptions.

You held his hand tighter, cupping his face with one hand using it so he'd face you. "No, no. Jungwoo, you're the one I—"

Jungwoo stopped in his tracks and so did you. "I don't want you lying, M/n." Jungwoo told you with so much tenderness to the point that it hurts you. "I know you don't intend to hurt me, M/n... but, if you keep giving me false hopes it'd give me so much pain thinking I actually had a chance with you." Jungwoo said, his voice cracking as tears started to build up in his eyes.

"Babe, wait a minute. No, please don't cry. That's not true." You tried to word with him, but the more you spoke the more his tears started swelling up in his eyes.

"I'm giving you this chance, M/n. To make a choice." Jungwoo told you with a smile that broke your heart into a million pieces. You really loved Jungwoo, truly you did. But, you just can't help, but admit that Lucas just has a special place in your heart that you won't be able to get rid of. You really did love Jungwoo, but why is it that your head was always thinking about Lucas?

"I don't want to force you to love me, M/n. So choose, M/n. Me..." He trailed off looking at your eyes with his teary eyes. "...or Lucas?"

You let out a stressed sigh and felt your eyes quiver in fear and guilt, seeing that the male who loved you the fullest was getting his heart broken by you. "I..." You uttered out, but not even a proper word was made. You could only stutter as you got tight-lipped, your tongue getting tied. "J-Jungwoo.." You heard Jungwoo sigh in defeat, realizing he had nothing to compete with Lucas as his grip on your hand loosened letting go of it, a sign that he's setting you free. Though he did, you didn't want him to let you go. "Jungwoo—"

"Please, M/n. I don't want you to be sad for me because I'm hurt. Instead, please be happy that I'm letting you goand setting you free."Jungwoo smiled, alas letting all the tears fall down his cheeks beginning to walk away from you.

Your hands tried to reach out for him, but you knew that he needed space. He needed to move on from you. Trying to make use of the chance Jungwoo gave, so it doesn't go all to waste you made a decision to tell Lucas, how you feel. Once all this pain and regret in your heart to pass away. You soon started to walk the rest of the way to your home.

You wished you hadn't just dated Jungwoo out of pity. You loved Jungwoo so, so bad and that's a fact, but everytime Lucas came into the room all you could ever think of was him. Your mind gets occupied with thoughts about him. Lucas, Lucas, Lucas. Lucas here, Lucas there. You had thought your feelings for Lucas had already disappeared, but with every passing minute that you're with Lucas your just keeps on beating for that man and you fall even deeper for him, over and over again.

You started to stop thinking all about this and thought of things that you should do to work things out with Jungwoo, but everything became a blur as your surroundings started fade and all you heard was your name repeatedly being called and a man shaking you awake from where you laid until everything turned black and everything disappeared.

WORLD'S POINT OF VIEW

Jungwoo bawled his eyes out, hands and clothes coated with crimson colored liquid that he got when he held your body as you lay unconscious in his arms in the streets as he tried to stop your bleeding head from seeping out too much blood before you got an ambulance. He sat inside with you inside the ambulance, trying to surpress his sobs, but every time he did it just hurted him even more. "M/n, I'm so sorry." He held your hand softly and caressed it softly as he hiccuped and sobbed loudly. "Please. Wake up."

You were placed on a stretcher and was now being rushed to the Emergency Room, Jungwoo being told to stay outsidend wait. Just minutes ago, Jungwoo had called Lucas and just as Jungwoo cried by himself Lucas came bursting inside the hospital and ran to Jungwoo. "Where is he, Jungwoo?" Tears threatened to fall from his eye as he held onto the side Jungwoo's arms receiving no answer from him. "I asked you a question, Jungwoo, where is he?!" He screamed, while his eye was now bloodshot, a single tear falling from his eye. Lucas cursed and lets go of Jungwoo as he angrily stomped his foot on the floor. "Fuck!"

A few minutes later, the doctor came out for the results the two males standing up from their seats. The doctor looked at them removing his glasses and shook his head silently. Lucas in disbelief, moved past the doctor all the nurses trying to stop him from entering. "L/n M/n! You better open those eyes and wake the fuck up!" Lucas yelled at you as loud as he can, his eye letting all the tears fall down as he continued to thrash and make a ruckus, screaming on the top of his lungs, his voice cracking every single time, his breathe hitching as he endlessly sobbed and wailed. "Wake up, M/n! Wake up!" Lucas screamed giving all his all to break free from the barrier of nurses that was blocking him.

"Lucas... You're making a scene.." Jungwoo who also now had his cheeks stained with tears told Lucas as he sniffed.

"No! I won't leave her unless M/n wakes up!" Lucas mourned and cried, soon being able to get free from the hold the nurses had on him and ran to you, crying loudly with every last tears he had in him. He held your cold body in his arms, holding you so tightly his tears dripoing down your now lifeless body. "M/n... I need you to wake up for me, yeah?" Lucas bit his lips and tried to hold back his sobs. "M/n, please." Lucas begged and begged, pulling you closer to him the hospital that was once filled with silence, now was filled with Lucas' loud wails and cries. "Please..."

The next day, once your friends was able to receive the news all they could ever do was burst into tears and tried so hard to get you back. They prayed and prayed to the heavens to give your life back to you. Your parents and your past classmates who have heard about the news felt so sullen and sorrowful. All they could ever think if was the times you have saved them from the depths of their misery, the moments you have kept your promise to be there by their sides, and how good you were to them no matter what they have done to you. Your door was always open to everyone who wanted to enter. You were like a walking home to them since they always felt so safe and protected when you were around and now that you're gone, the home that took care of them and let anyone enter inside has disappeared.

Lucas who you have brought so much impact in his life suffered the most. He treated you like the mother he never had. You were always there for him when he needed you the most. You always brought to him the kindest treatment you could ever give a person. You treated him like your son, like your sweet, handsome prince. "M/n.." He sniffed.

"I should have told you at least once, I love you."

[haechanniesunflowers]

Stray Kids reaction to you breaking up with them

Theme: angst, rage, hate, very much established relationships, y'all deeply love each other

Scenario: You had been waiting for almost 2 hours now. "where is he" you were getting impatient and angry. He did this quite often, forgetting about your scheduled dates. You call him for the umpteenth time, and finally he picks up. You can tell by his raspy voice that he had been sleeping. "you've been blasting my phone for a while now, if I'm not answering then it means I'm either asleep or busy. What do you want?" he says annoyed. Oh hell no, he did not just just talk back to you. You immediately hangup, not wanting to create a scene because you were fuming at this point. You drive to his studio, but he's not there. Okay now you're just losing your mind, like you're on fire now. You go to his apartment and knock until he opens the door "WHAT THE HELL???". You walk straight in and it all makes sense to him now, he forgot about your date. He has no explanation to give so he's silent and embarrassed. "yeah, that's what I thought" you say sarcastically. He tries to come near you, "oh no keep your distance mister, I am sick and tired of your behaviour. Who do you think you are?? You might be the dream man of millions of women but you're an ordinary man for me and I will not allow you to treat me like this!! You have been forgetting about our dates, not even random ones, we schedule them TOGETHER but you still forget them! And I am sitting there embarrassed, waiting for you all the time! You always put your work first, even when it's not urgent!".

Bang Chan

He's shocked listening to you and tries calming you down "babe listen to me I know I messed up again, I'm so-". "so what? So sorry? Like you were the last time? And before that?". He's silent. You get more annoyed knowing full well that this isn't going anywhere and he will most definitely do it again. You take a deep breath, trying not to let your anger cloud your judgement but it's not really, your voice of reason tells you to do it. "Christopher, listen to me". Oh shit, you almost never call him Christopher, the only time you do, it's 100% serious business, his heart is thumping hard at this point. "y/n I'll be better, I promise. I'll make time for us I swear". "you and I both know that's not gonna happen, at least not now when you're so deeply involved in your work. And I honestly think it's better if we go our separate ways from here. Because this, us, isn't working and I'm not too happy being the only one putting in effort and making compromises for this relationship". He isn't thinking straight right now because even though you're right, a part of him is telling him that you're being ungrateful because he infact does check up on you, leaves you texts occasionally and meets up with you sometimes. That made him lose it and he snaps "look at you being an ungrateful little brat" this caught you off guard like hello?? how dare you? "wHAT??" you're voice is shrill, laced with anger. "you heard me, all you do is glorify your efforts while you completely ignore the effort I put in this stupid relationship". "well if that's what you wanna think then I can't do much about it now can I?". "leave" he says lowly, you heard it but you can't believe it so you're starting at him. "I said leave right now" he's seething. "oh gladly! I don't want to stay here with you anyway". You walk towards the door and look back just once, "we're done, I don't want to be in a stupid relationship with you where all you do is list down the things you do for me and bring me down". You want to slap him but he's too angry just like you and might start manhandling you so you decide against it. "I made it clear that we're breaking up, even now you weren't paying attention" you say as you step out. He slams the door shut.

Lee Know

He's instantly annoyed at your reaction. "I don't want to deal with you right now I'm tired". "I'm tired too Minho" "then fucking rest, don't yell at me" "I'm tired of you pushing me aside all the time! You expect me to put up with your stupid behaviour and comply with you but not anymore". "I said be quiet, don't yell at me" "UGH!! you make me so angry I hate you" "congratulations now go away" "I'm breaking up with your annoying ignorant ass Minho, don't ever text me or call me again because we're done it's over" you say barging towards the door. "whatever just leave me alone". You fight the urge to punch him in the face and squeal with anger, leaving the door open as you left his apartment. "annoying ass woman" he says, not yet fully understanding what happened.

Changbin

You guessed it right, he's angry. Just like Chan his brain thinks of all the times he worries and care for you. "YA! It's not like I did it on purpose, you need to get your mind straight". "not do it on purpose? Sure you might haven't done it on purpose but this has been going on for some time Changbin didn't you think I was gonna snap at one point in time? Or did you just think I was gonna keep forgiving you like the rest of the time!" "stop pushing it, alright?" "my God Changbin if you aren't even gonna believe me then there's no point in arguing about this" "I'm glad to finally read my mind" "Changbin you are so stupid and annoying ugh I don't want to be with you anymore". His eyes widen "what?" tries to hold your arms. "don't touch me, I'm leaving you Changbin we're done for good". His mind is going haywire, like he loves you so damn much what is he gonna do if you leave him. "y/n listen to me, you're angry right now we ca-" "there's no we anymore" you say as you open the front door, he holds your wrist but you push him back and leave. He stands at the threshold looking at your disappearing figure.

Hyunjin

He's scared and embarrassed. "y/n please baby I'm so sorry, I'll try to make you happy" "Hyunjin I can't believe that you and I have been together for so long and you're still gonna try to make me happy, like that's how much it matters to you" "nononono I don't mean it like that come on sit down I'll get you some water okay baby?" "save it Hyunjin, I'm done" "what do you mean" "I mean I'm done with you, with us trying to stay together, with this relationship, we're done I'm leaving" "no honey please let's talk about this" "there's nothing to talk about" that's the last thing you say and start walking towards the front door. "baby please think about this, you're doing this out of rage, please don't do this, sit down with me we need to talk about this, I love you so so much y/n come back". You silently leave his apartment.

Jisung

Doesn't say a word. He knows it will make you more angry if he says anything so he stays quiet. "Jisung I'm not an object for you to turn to when you're stressed about work. Do you even realize that the only time you actually put me first is when your work stresses you out to the core and you need release. Is that all I am to you?? A booty call? Well? Answer me!!"" erm no" "no what?" "no it's not like that, I'm sorry give me another chance to prove to you what you mean to me" "no thank you Jisung I'm done being embarrassed, I don't want to continue this relationship with you, we're breaking up right now" "what? No nono no nonono hey wait listen to me, I love you, wait I'll be good to you please wait" but you don't wait and you don't let him stop you, you're tired. Jisung cries watching you leave his apartment and his life.

Felix

He'll start crying. You can't deal with this anymore, every time you're mad at him and snap he starts crying. "Felix I'm not going to let things go on like this, I know just how busy you are and I fully understand how little time you have for me but I endured it. Not anymore. I want out. I'm breaking up with you". With that you walk to the door but he stands in your way, "please don't do this y/n I love you way too much, I need you in my life please don't leave me". "you want, you want? What about what I want? I want you to be there for me, just as I am there for you all the time. But you never make an effort. It's in your nature to put all your energy into your work, you can't seem to help it. I'm sorry Felix, but it's over, please get out of my way". He knows stopping you is futile and he doesn't want to swallow his pride, the pride he has left after a little begging, so he quietly moves but comes in for a hug before that. You don't hug him back though and you feel his frantic heart beat. You want to hug him so badly but you can't make this any harder for yourself. "what will I do without you?" he says, suppressing tears. "work? I guess. Goodbye". He cries quietly in his bed the rest of the day. "what have I done".

Seungmin

Maknae line do be sentimental huh? Boy's sad because he can't give you enough time and understands your position. "I'm actually really sorry y/n, I'm sorry for making promises I can't keep" "I don't need your apologies anymore Seungmin, they don't matter anymore" he's like ??? come again? "I don't want this anymore, I'm done, we're breaking up". "y/n please don't say that, why don't we sit and talk when you calm down" "I don't need to be calm to make this decision. We're over". "y/n wait listen to me, I said I'm sorry please wait at least sit down with me, let's talk". "I'm sorry Seungmin, this is how things need to be, goodbye". He's pleading for you to stay but you're gone.

IN

This baby is just sad and upset. He wants the best for you and knows that this isn't the best. So when you say "we're over" it does come as a shock to him but deep down he knows this is the best for you. You leave immediately, immediately because you don't have the heart to see him cry. He calls Chan to tell him what happened, Chan offers to meet up with you and talk on his behalf because just like you, Chan and the older boys can't see IN cry. It hurts to see him like this so he shuts out, completely. He doesn't want to hurt the people around him just because he couldn't treat his girlfriend right.

[iffyswriting]

Gang-Related 1

Pairing: Ann-Marie x Black!OC

Genre: Romance and Angst.

Summary: Journey Nelson is in need of money, quick and fast. She's enlisted by her friend to become a dealer for one of the most fearful Gangs in their city. She meets the leader, Ann-Marie and sooner than later they begin a romance that is doomed to burn up in flames.

Note: I might as well start dropping some of my lesbian fics over here. I'm finding it difficult finding black gay fics 🥺. If y'all have any, don't be shy- DM it too me!

"Hurry the fuck up, Journey!" Tika yelled to me breathlessly, her feet slapping against the pavement just as fast as mine.

I looked both ways before crossing the street, more sweat gathering on my hands. My heart drummed in my chest the darkness surrounding me furthering the anxiety I felt.

2 months ago I'd never be out this late but things had changed and I had changed. I was desperate and when you're desperate you become a person you've never known before.

We came up to a building shrouded in darkness, slipping into its shadows. Under the umbrella, Tika knocked on the door three times, grabbing my arm to making me stand back. We waited for what seemed like longer than a few minutes when a slot under the door opened and Tika slipped something to the other side.

It opened seconds later and a girl glared at both Tika and I as we came in. A small number of girls covered the entire area leaning on furniture. Some were counting money, others were packaging- all were talking but it came to a stop when I stepped into the room.

I puffed out my chest to seem a little tougher under their scrutinizing gaze but I still felt like I was posing. Pretending to be hard when I was really easily breakable.

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Someone new."

"You got cleared for that?" The girl with green hair questioned, leaning on her hip.

"You about to get cleared for an ass-whooping, if you keep asking questions. "Tika gritted through her teeth. "Where's Ann?"

"Where she always is- in the back."

"Thank you." Their eyes had yet to leave me, burning holes into my back as we walked down the long hall. I started to feel more restless, the closer we got to the back and I couldn't control the twitching in my body.

Knocking on a new door, Tika glanced my way sucking her teeth at the sight of my shaking hands.

"You need to get your nerves together. You can't look nervous in front of this girl- you'll look like a pussy."

"I can't help it." I said wiggling my fingers."My body shakes on its own."

"What are you scared for anyway?" Chewing on my bottom lip, I felt embarrassed to say.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"That's what the hell you're worried about!?"

"She has to like me- if I'm gonna work for her, she has to think of me in a positive light. That's how a good, boss-employee relationship works."

"Fuck Journey," She rubbed the space between her eyes." I forget how you are sometimes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Before she could answer the door opened and a single person moved out of the way showcasing who we needed to see. The Ann-Marie, sat on a table counting her stacks, the hard-earned money she worked for.

You could consider her enigma- her male counterparts taking her as a joke when it came to selling and handling a kingdom. Nothing was funny about how she moved, however, and she proved herself to more ruthless than expected.

Ann-Marie isn't a terrifying name but she makes it scary. She brings dread just by a mere mention and that's power a single person holds. Power that surrounds her crew and everything else she does.

Tika asked me why I was so afraid- the reputation before me proceeded all things especially fear.

"Tika Ray!"Ann gave a fake warm welcome, her eyes bouncing onto me as an intruder."I see you bringing visitors unannounced now."

"I'm bringing you, workers."

"I didn't ask for that." Her mouth was drawn into a frown, prepared to dig into Tika.

"We always could use the help." She attempted before a scoff was heard.

"So, you think we're struggling by ourselves?" Ann asked accusingly, Tika's foot beginning to jump.

"No, I just think-"

"You think about everything else but never think to ask." She pointed at her head, her nails shaped like claws. "Never think to check-in with the person actually in charge."

"Ann-"

"I don't wanna address this in-front of company."She said paying me attention. "Let me hear from her why she's here." Tika started to talk again but Ann raised her hand, cutting her off.

"I wasn't speaking to you, I was speaking to her."

Ann was so intimidating, even with how tiny she was she still had an aura that made her feel bigger, taller, maybe even stronger. She hopped down from the table she sat on and walked up to me, staring straight into my eyes. Her eye contact was scary and made me feel inferior but like I was the only thing in the room.

"Why you here, baby?" Her tone became soft, truly catching me off guard.

"Tika told me you could give me work." I gulped down air before continuing."Easy and quick money."

"That's all you want? Just to pull weight?"

"Yes." I said confidently, hoping Ann couldn't see through my front.

"You don't look built for it, honestly." She clasped her hands together, standing straighter. "But none of us are when we start out."

"I can prove that I'm useful. I run really fast and I've always been good at math." I listed off, looking more awkward than qualified. Ann actually gave me a smile, a ghost of a laugh coming from her throat.

"You don't gotta treat this like an interview, baby." Swiping her tongue over her bottom lip."If Tika trusts you, then I have to trust her word." She gave Tika a slick smirk, Tika keeping her face neutral and her stance calm.

"I'm gonna try you out on a test run and if you do well- we'll continue to talk."

"I don't think you'll be a disappointment."

"Thank you so much for giving me a chance." I gushed, a bit of relief flushing out of me.

"Don't mention it." Ann looked at me longer- suddenly she took ahold of my chin making my heart speed up tenfold. Bringing my face closer to her's, She examined each of my features, her eyebrows scrunching together in deep thought.

"You are so pretty."She mumbled, her eyelids lowered.

"Thank you."

"I'll get out your space since I'm making you uncomfortable." Ann laughed good-naturedly but that didn't make the tension I felt leave my system.

"You aren't."

"Your body language says different." Her hand dropped to her side, and it felt as if our eyes finally broke away from one another. Ann started to talk to another girl as Tika threw her arm over my shoulder giving me a hopeful smile.

Within the crew, there was a huge sense of loyalty. Looking at everyone, I knew I wanted to belong here. I knew if I joined them that I would never be hungry or alone. I knew I would belong to an actual family.

Glancing at Ann, the one person I had to impress- a new feeling sprung up inside of me. Determination. I had to ace my test run, and prove myself and consequently not embarrass Tika.