#sometimes i think back to our convos and reel over it again

[angelwonie]

2022 is already over but i still want to make this post because i love you guys and you made this year more bearable, so...

dear followers...

you guys are what keeps me going. thank you so much for supporting me, liking my writing, and filling out every stupid form i post on impulse. thank you for always being patient and discussing your thoughts with me. thank you for choosing to stick with me of all people. i am so grateful for all of you and my time on tumblr!! tumblr is like an escape from reality for me and you guys make it so much fun <3

dear mutuals...

@cosmic-railwayxo - you fucking loser i think youre the best thing that happened to me all year (except guesung's abs). thank you so much for being my friend, for talking to me literally everyday, for giving me something to look forward to when im at uni and want to die. i love facetiming u, i love sending u reels, i love how we r literally bffs even if there are thousands of km between us. that much doesnt matter when we gossip or talk abt kpop men fs BAHAHAHA. anyways i could probably write an essay abt u and how much i love your colossal cock, but this is getting long so all im gna say is i love you.

@hwangyeonjun - rels my bae ur 97' liner smau is what gives me oxygen to breathe (on that note,, I NEED AN UPDATE). thank u for being my mutual and slaying with me even tho im a little insane. i love you!!

@hwajin - kATHY GIRL u were the one that had to listen to me scream about arisu and u literally wrote me a fic for him???? we r besties for life atp. we should write each other fics sometime again bcs that was sm fun. ure so hot and nice and ur hyunjin series slays. thank you for being my friend and always giving me the same energy back!! kisses for u

@hoshologies - moon omg we've known each other so long but it feels so short??? i hope ure slaying all ur days away bcs ure fucking amazing and u deserve it. once every month when it's a full moon i lay down on the grass and think abt how much i miss ur writing and u actually. hope we keep in touch in 2023, i love you bestieee

@jjkeverlast - lati thank u sm for being my friend!! i love talking to u about everything and nothing (read: the dilf from aib) and ure so kind honestly (when ure not stealing kento yamazaki from me BOOOO). i hope we interact a lot in 2023 and i wish you all good things this year!! you deserve it.

@jayzdaze - kay u queen. ur fics never dissappoint and ure so??? mature and cool i think of u as my older sister fr. im so happy to be ur moot and friend and i hope we remain close in 2023 as well. love you bae!

@jenoslutie - nabi i swear i followed u bcs ur name is the same as that girl from nevertheless HAJASJKAJKA but i fell in love with you and your sexy brain too. ur fics always deliver and i miss our convos sm :/ we should start talking more again!! either way im so happy to have you as a mutual and ily.

@kookiecrumb - ISA MY FIRST MUTUAL OMG!!! there's so much i want to say to you but i dont even know if i can put it into words. youre so amazing, talented and intelligent. i think you might be the most intellectual person i have ever met. i am never bored when we talk to each other, and i always leave our conversations in a happy mood. i love your passion for bts and i love your big sexy brain. i hope we stay friends forever.

@mingirn - mars idk abt u but im ur number one fan forever. like idc if we dont talk for a month, the moment i see mingirn on dash or in my ask i SQUEAL. i love you so so much and ure so funny and delusional (omg ure just like me) and im so happy we r moots. i would literally fight w armys for u. thats true love i'm telling u.

@neochan - sam ure like that mutual everyone is afraid of bcs theyre just so. cool. i love you so much and i love talking abt nct with u bcs ure the only one that gets my obsession with their cocks. thank you for being my mutual (and friend, i hope) and for blessing me with your fics!!

@planetdream - dreamie i swear to god you were the second blog i followed on here (i unfollowed the first so ure technically the first tho hihi) and i literally have flashbacks whenever i reread ur fics kskasksska. we've never talked like super much, but whenever we do i feel happy, and im glad that feeling hasnt faded throughout all those months. u will always hold a special place in my heart and im so glad to be ur friend!!

@shmooooo - isa u were literally my savior when i was in my cha eunwoo phase. like there is no one on tumblr that simps for that guy and im like??? hello wake up. thank you so much for talking to me about him and my fics, i appreciate you bae!!

@wuahae - cat i love you so so much!! ur writing is so alluring and beautiful, and your personality is too. i always have sm fun talking to u and whenever i see you on dash, i smile. we need to talk more bcs i NEED to hear your thoughts on every picture mingyu and hoshi post on instagram.

[sun-pluto]

convos with my younger sis can be so fucking wild with her sag mercury in 11th and aries mars in 3rd. i was talking to her yesterday on ending the video call with her to sleep early and go to the beach the next morning and she goes “no don’t leave meeee” and i went “i will, i have to” in that :’( tone and THEN she says—

her: no see this is why you’ll get a boyfriend with SUCH bottom energy because you’re literally like—

me: wai—

her: i said “don’t leave me” and you immediately said “i will.”

me: 🧍🏻‍♀️

i just fucking died thiS GIRL AND CONNECTING THE DOTS IS ALWAYS SO WILD 😭😭😭 WHY DO YOU THINK OF ME THAT WAY HELP YOU KNOW THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT 😭💀💀💀

[yyxgin]

i think what bugged me the most is i could say ‘they’re literal depression pills/they made me depressed’ and could reel off the side effect word for word (1/10 will experience mood swings (sometimes in the form of depression)) which was literally the first fricking side effect listed and the most common and she would still refer to it as me being sad literally seconds later in a convo. okay i never went to the doctor but when it occurred to me that, hey, something isn’t right, we were in the middle of a fucking pandemic!! i mean, we still are, but you get the point. this was right at the beginning when they basically closed everything as well so even if i wanted to i wouldn’t have been able to go see someone about it. but it’s whatever now, i don’t take them and i don’t have to give her any advice about them ✌️ i completely get the lack of validity about your emotions. that’s exactly how i felt.

i work so im not bothered about seeing people as i see them enough by my standards already but there is a helpful little voice in the back of my head reminding me that i still need to see my friends!! from before i got a job lol. i worked like 55 hours? my first proper week when i wasn’t on reduced hours and now i work maybe 30? which annoys me so i’m gonna ask for more bc i wanna buy a car and insurance. you still go to school, right? i feel like you’re more stressed about work considering you’re studying too. or were. have you just broken up from school? i don’t study, thank fuck, anymore, so i can do full time but i always get put on evenings so i’m thinking of getting a 9 to 5 bc then i can get the money i need.

a woman was rude to me bc her takeaway wasn’t ready bang on the clock when she turned up to pick it up. man it took literally every fibre in my being not to tell her to fucking leave me alone bc i’m a waitress?? what does she expect me to do??? i found out after but apparently our website tells you to allow a 15 minute slot when you order takeaway to pick up. i checked on this woman’s takeaway and told her it’d be ready in 10 minutes and she said sumn along the lines of ‘so 10 past 8?’. imma tell you straight i wasn’t looking at my phone so i assumed that meant the time was 8pm! (it wasn’t) she said to me ‘and i assume you’ll be knocking money off of the bill for that?’ and i politely replied ‘i can’t do that.’ bc i literally cannot. has to be a managerial figure. bearing in mind she’s already paid in full online???????? n she replies ‘do you wanna go suggest that?’ and nods towards the kitchen and i said no and walked off. the AUDACITY??? anyway i told my manager and she rolled her eyes and was like we don’t do partial refunds and said she’d talk to the woman when her order was ready. this woman was all up in my face saying ‘do you think that’s a reasonable time?’ asking if she should come back at 8:10 and im like idfk?? i have things to be doing can you fuck off?? no i didn’t say that but she says ‘i’ve got kids in the car with the engine running’ and i deadpanned ‘i didn’t tell you to leave your kids in the car with the engine running’ bc it was the first thing my brain thought of that wasn’t ‘sounds like a you problem to me’. in the end she left and came back but when she came back she was properly shouting at another waitress i work with and the girl was like 😄 your food was ready 20 minutes ago but you didn’t leave your details to be able to ring you to tell you it’s ready. she even re-mentioned the kids in the car saying they were starving and it was all our fault and the girl was like hmm okay. and then the woman said she was gonna leave a bad review on trip advisor!! and the waitress was like 😃 you do that bestie!! another great day on the grind :D (i forgot to say we were swamped on saturday so that’s why everything was so busy but she was literally the only one complaining that bad, like literally everyone could see we were struggling but they also were saying to wait staff things like ‘i know you can’t make things go quicker back there’ while we were apologising for the phat delay on their food).

another funny one (that made the barman laugh when i told it to him) was a grandma and a grandson in my section. the grandma was dictating his life jesus 😭 (not important but made me go 😳) but one of the girls cleared the table partially when i was doing sumn else so i finished it off and when we get back to kp she tells me the grandma complained the food was cold and without hesitation i said ‘well she fucking ate it all so tell her to fuck off and talk to someone who gives a shit’. she went quiet and i was like,, man i hope i didn’t scare her. but like. they cleared their plates. there was no food left. she didn’t call someone over. she didn’t say anything to anyone when they ask if it was okay. why wait until the end?? anyway i told thé barman and he giggled (he’s got a lovely laugh in my opinion bc it sounds like he’s snickering at everything). i was NOT going to tell my manager bc there’s literally no point. same day, later on, a man said his mussels were cold, i took them back and the kitchen cooked them again. i’d barely put the food down before he called me over (this one is a good one bc he hasn’t eaten EVERYTHING before complaining and therefore we can do something about the problem‼️) respect to that guy.

one of the girls gave me a lift home last night n the barman directed her right to my house without ever having been to my house before (his cousin used to live in the flats down the other end, he says) and when i messaged her later on thanking her and saying it was a bit sus that he directed her perfectly to mine n she said ‘hmm ben seems to go to yours more than he does his own home 🤔🤔🤔🤔’ bc apparently he was absolute shite at giving directions to his flat 😭 n e way he’s a sweetheart n he says he doesn’t like christmas anymore n he made me sad after he said that n i said i’d post coal through his letter box n he said i might as well n i was like okay this is an actual problem n now i’m gone be super nice to him at christmas bc he deserves so much more that the hand he’s been dealt. this convo happened after i let him try this herbal tea he said smelt nice n i said it tasted like christmas to me. he’s such a good person (despite literally everything he tells me about his past) n i cannot have him being a little humbug. god i think this crush i joked to you about is becoming a soft core friendship. like every fucking wattpad story out there. me n the girls agreed someone has to love him 🥺

okay im signing off now ily ~ 🌻

 i am glad you are feeling better though, nobody deserves to suffer. and nobody deserves to have their emotions invalidated. remember that your emotions matter at all times. <3

yesyes i am still in school !! altough my summer break started on july 1st so i am not that stressed about managing many things at once anymore hh,, also you are working so much ??? damn ?? please remember to take some breaks and relax !! and meet your friends !!! have fun. i know you are saving up money but please dont overwork yourself !

wHY ARE PEOPLE SO RUDE OH MY GOD I SWEAR,,, i learned that while working with people. i just,, it feels like they are all looking down on me just because i am young and work there part-time. like bro,,chill. also i feel kind of bad when they ask me where stuff is and i cant tell them bc i have no idea but at the same time if people were all introverts like me i wouldnt have this problem. :) dfjk jk jk i should improve on that. i wish people were more nice to you !!! who do they think they are ?? like,,,,,why are you rude. this is clearly not your problem.

i like it when people tell you respectfully. like the guy you mentioned. because clearly what are you going to do about the cold food when they’ve eaten it all. where’s the logic. 

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS OVER AT YOURS EVERY OTHER DAY DFJAKL that’s so funny. also i am bad at giving directions to my flat as well lmaoo poor ladies that drive me home from work sometimes. also i hate christmas as well lmaoo i feel that boy. its a little hard for me and i hope he doesn’t feel as bad during christmas this year when he has you around hihi,,, i fully stan this friendship. altough i am a big fan of friends to lovers if you know what i mean. in the energy of wattpad :))

ily !!!

[trashy-greyjoy]

am i the only one who lost complete faith in bellarke the shows been om air for 4 years and the one final opportunity they had to kiss shouldve been right b4 they separated for 6 years they both were walking into their potential deaths and it just makes no sense how there wasnt at least a confession. then i remembered the writers are still pandering to antis who never shut up so it pretty much made me think that legit every small moment that has been given to us is bait for us to stay watching

2/2 you seem like one of the voice of reasons in the fandom and i just had to get it off my chest im just pretty sure the writers are baiting us all along for when they bring you know who back in the series finale or something its so sad bc we stuck around for so long and idk im pretty sure everyone has this feeling that bellarke will never happen so the antis will be happy. i wish theyd realize most of general audience prefers bellarke idk im just sad i wasted my time on this show for 4 yrs

Hello nonny! Not worry I am here to restore your faith in all things canon blarke and s5 is our time! I totally feel your pain, sometimes even I get in those ‘blarke is never gonna fuck what’s even the point’ moods, but i have some long ranting posts ill shoot your way so you have some things to think about and hopefully it'll raise your spirits! (also you saying I'm a voice of reason made me laugh because in all honesty I'm a huge emo mess )

About the kiss being in the s4 finale. at first I really thought it would happen too, since if they think they're gonna die they should confess and make out, except, they didn't think that, at least Bellamy didn't. He thought they were gonna have 5 years of the 2 of them stuck in space to figure it out and be together so he didn't feel the pressure to have to confess before they went up. Clarke probably didn't do anything because she was almost certain she was going to die and she probably didn't want to put all that on Bellamy if he was just going to lose her anyway. Thats especially easy to notice if you pay attention to the face caress scene where she seems light hearted and happy looking at him and then she remembers her mom’s vision. And if you recall there were two separate instances where one of them tried to either confess or say goodbye and the other wouldn't let them (Bellamy before clarke went to the island and Clarke before the head and heart convo). ALSO leaving the confession up in the air gives the opportunity for them to add a lot of conflict with bellamy not getting to tell her going into next season. So when you think about that, it makes a lot of sense for them not to have kissed in the finale.

About the writers pandering to a certain audience, I agree. they name dropped L at unnecessary and excessive points last season to pacify the antis as best as they could. I get it, I hated it, it hurt Clarke’s character, and it wasn’t needed, but like i get what they were trying to do, unsuccessfully. HOWEVER I don't think that'll be a problem going forward. The time jump allows time for Clarke to have grieved and moved on in the last 6 years. She’s not fresh off the loss of a loved one and she’s been able to come into herself and move on essentially. AND the writers have been active on Twitter, and talking about Bellarke for the first time since S2 which is a big deal. They’re out of their Post-L Hibernation and they feel safe, well at least safer, talking about Bellarke on social media, meaning they’ve moved on from trying to pacify the antis in that regard. I think we’re pretty much over seeing them directly pandering to the CL’s at this point. 

Running off of that there’s also the scripts that the writers release, which have so far been pretty Bellarke heavy with the “another piece of her soul on the line”, “kill another person who she loves”, every part of the finale scripts and Bellamy’s “heart screaming”. Like... they released a script canonically saying Clarke loves Bellamy (and in a romantic way since the only other person she loved that she killed in canon was Finn). They’re putting it out there.

There’s no way they’re going to bring L back. Jason said she’s dead and not coming back. ABC has said it. And she’s trying to stay as far away from this show and that character as possible right now, she’s moved on she’s not going to come back. 

As for baiting, yeah they stretch it out and a lot of people think 4 season is unrealistic, but I say time and time again, when you look at canon slow burns and how long they take, 4 seasons, not even full seasons let me remind you, is child’s play. Mulder and Scully took 7 seasons to kiss and almost the whole 9 seasons to be fully canon on the show. Stiles and Lydia took 6 seasons to be canon, Rick and Michonne took 4ish seasons to go canon (still more episodes than The 100′s current 58). Booth and Brennan, Fitz and Simmons, Harvey and Donna (I see you Ana), Ron and Hermione, they all took years and almost twice as long as Bellarke have. It’s how television works. It’s annoying and it’s unrealistic a lot of the times, but its a trope, it follows a pattern, it’s how television shows grab a certain type of viewers and and ensure that they can keep them for the run of the show. Because it’s widely believed by the tv industry that once the ‘will they won't they’ aspect is gone, viewers lose interest so they string it out as long as they think they can. Whether its true or not thats how it works. 

There are also two more major reasons I think, or rather I know, Bellarke are endgame. The 6 Year Separation, and the fact that That’s The Story Jason Is Writing. 

I have separate long posts for these on my blog so I’ll be brief and link those for further reading, but to start off, extended separations are romantic tropes. Being separated for years and thinking the other person is or could be dead is a tried and true romantic Hollywood trope. Almost every example of this in entertainment, be it tv, books, or film, has romantic connotations surrounding it. The entire post about it can be found right here, if you want the low down, which I suggest. I list off other examples and proof in it. 

Moving towards Jason writing romantic Bellarke, it’s what he’s doing. If you look back at all the pivotal ‘Bellarke’ scenes in the past, Jason or Aaron have written a good portion of those episodes. Jason, the show runner, and Aaron, the guy he was ready to have take over if his other show got picked up. That combined with how many times he’s said that this is ‘Clarke and Bellamy’s story’ and in the past (S1-2) how free he was when speaking about Bellarke on social media. It’s always been the plan. He just likes to pull a Chris Carter (show runner of The X-Files, and the OG JRoth) and try to drag it out and deny it as much as possible. Seriously look up some of the stuff CC has said about Mulder and Scully in the past and it fits the same pattern. You can find the full post right here, where I give quotes and explain everything further. 

Taking a turn for a second, you can also think about the fact that tv shows almost NEVER put their big endgame together until the end of the show is approaching, especially if it’s between the two series mains. They don’t give that to you early on, that’s why most bigger ships in tv are at least partially slow burn, they don’t put the big couples together in the first season or two.

And I guess to close out, you can think about the fact that S1 Bellamy is set up as a romantic interest for Clarke from the beginning. His character and their relationship follow the ‘enemy/bad boy isn't actually that bad and actually has a heart and realizes that when he meets the good girl that challenges him’ like come on my guys... they’re set up as a trope from episode 2 when he saves her, and then episode 3 when he stares at her killing Atom and he gets all soft and realizes she’s not who he thought she was. It even comes complete with the jealous canon love interest and the ‘we’ve been through a lot together”

Never mind, I have one more point. Look at the sizzle reel for next season. It’s set up to make Bellarke look romantic or at least intimately connected. I have another long post for that one right here. 

I hope that did the trick for reassuring you at least partially and now we can all stew in this hellatus for a few more months before this hell shit returns to us!

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

so it’s been two weeks AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT!!! next week, i probably won’t actually deliver anything either, as next week is when school starts back up and i need to prep for that!

for now tho, pls enjoy this! its long. 

edit halfway through: ITS VERY LONG. READER BEWARE.

clumsy touch by sarangway

i like fake boyfriends. i really like fake boyfriends. it’s a cliche that i am proud to embrace (tho, tbh, i embrace all the cliches). and who better to write socky fake boyfriend than @revetoile!!! it’s a nice, quick oneshot that i was so happy to read! <3

his ray of sunshine by SummerSnowflake

yet another really short drabble, but OH MY GOSH if it isnt just the cutest fluff you’ll probably ever read in your entire life! i loved reading it, and even if it’s short, it really made my heart all fluttery and warm!

sugar and fluff and all that good stuff by jimblejams

whats not to love about this fic??? it’s got the holy trinity of ships, binu and myungjin and socky, all wrapped up in one deliciously sweet oneshot that i’ve read at least three times since it’s been released. @jakganim came into the fanfic community with a bang, and i hope they never ever ever leave <3

where soil lies, a new beginning blooms by parkjinwoes

i’ve probably already recommended this fic before, but im going to do it again because it is the true love of my life! it’s based off of witchcraft, and i’m honestly still so so happy that @vocalpmh decided to write this for me! the myungjin is adorable, and minhyuk’s deadpan delivery is golden! thank you once again!!!

to kiss a rock by jinwoosmile

i, too, stand by the belief that myungjun would be the best kisser, bc have you seen those lips. this fic, tho, is really really fun. i like the creative ways in which minhyuk has kissed every member, and i like the CUTE SOCKY I LOVE CUTE SOCKY. @jinwoosmile blesses us with her fanfics. (go send her love and encouragement to get through these coming school days!)

im a mom by heybinnie

BOY IF YOU CANT SEE THIS HAPPENING THO. it was such cute fluff!!! i always love the creative ways in which @heybinnie writes; it leaves me melting into a pile of goo and happiness. this one’s a little shorter and features moonbin as the title character and it’s worth every single second of reading.

not an ikea story by Maye_C

@maye-c has always been able to capture myungjun’s dorkiness, childness, and yet maturity (sexiness, too, hOLLA) in her fics and this one just swung right into my heart very very very very quickly. it’s adorable and funny (I LAUGH SO MUCH) and every single bit as perfect as all of mayec’s other works, i love her and her writing!

ferris wheels series by aloharoha

i think i’ve recommended the first one in this series; if not, i definitely should have at this point! binu and ferris wheels and absolute precious fluff and it’s one of my favorite things??? also my sweet anon child wrote it, whom i adore, pls go love on all this writing <3

because it’s you by marojehca

did i like the myungjin at the end??? yes. i did. myungjin trash CONFIRMED. but all in all, this WAS a really fun story, and i’ve definitely been keeping up with it since it first came out. good job, sanha, good job.

take a picture (click, click) by floatingquietly

i believe the tumblr page is @floatingquietlyfic, but correct me if im wrong and just tagged someone random lol. THIS WAS REALLY CUTE! it was soft and nice and i loved reading it ;A; let jinwoo live, he has nasal inflammation 

mahogany by yehetno

@yehetno strikes again! she comes when i least expect it and when i most need it, it’s uncanny. this was really PAINFUL TO READ ACTUALLY it made my heart ache, but we have been gifted with the Happy Ending, and i couldn’t be more excited over that! great binu by a great human being!

the cat’s out of the bag by aloharoha

some more from my sweet anon! she’s such an amazing writer and im always in awe of the works! this socky was definitely no exception; i felt really giddy, and i was cheering BOTH sanha and minhyuk on the entire time. bless the cat for causing our two boys to confess ;D (when will my cats get me a cute boy)

hit me up by lee_dongminhyuk

my star anon has arrived! @lee-dongminhyuk wrote some amazing bullet fics (i’ll recommend those a little further down, getting A03 fics out of the way first!) and then this one is just SO GOOD. also it reads like an actual chat convo, with the topic at hand escaping once or twice before it’s reeled back in. also jinidiot. 

insomnia by parkjinchu

i can relate, dongmin! this is written so well and just so nice and pleasant to read??? but then again ,every single fic from @parkjinchu is my new favorite fic, i swear. it’s like god’s gift to earth lies in mary’s fics. bless u <333

the slushie disaster by Lunapie

i need to keep writing sad socky so luna can keep writing happy socky, AMIRITE, LUNA??? nah fam @moonbinpie SRSLY does have some really cute socky up in this here joint; just two teens being teens in the summer, and i loved reading a nice snapshot into their lives!

i want to keep these feelings forever by junhoonie

i like the socky we have recently. i mean, dont get me wrong, im always myungjin trash, but socky is soft and pure and i need this purity to cleanse my soul. THESE LITTLE CHAPTERS ARE THE MOST PURE OF ALL and i love love reading them <3 @donghyucklees is the incredible driving force behind these fics! 

out of the closet by jimblejams

i requested this. i am so happy i requested this bc i cried when it was published haha im weak. BUT SERIOUSLY, MYUNGJIN WEARING EACH OTHERS’ CLOTHES??? WHAT MORE DO U WANT. jordan strikes again with their amazing writing im going to die.

socky coffee shop au by @jakganim

tagging ur main blog BECAUSE I CAN AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE (but linking your fic blog so ppl can request, go go go request!). i loved this fic. i would give my life for this fic. it was perfect, from minhyuk’s infatuation to my fave part, jinwoo’s ring (keels over) and i need everyone to read this pronto.

puppy love by @jinwoostro

i love me some domestic astro adopting puppies because of sanha. also hiding puppies bc they’re weak for dogs. come on, it’s the purest premise in the world, written by lanna-kokobanna. 

bowling blues by @maye-c

i think i state every day (and multiple times in here) that im myungjin trash, but i REALLY LOVE just astro familial fics. just fics when they’re ASTRO, when they’re friends, when they’re just enjoying life together! and mayec delivers, once more, something pure and gorgeous! also bowling is hard.

college myungjin by @jakganim

i ghost-requested this. i was ghost-gifted this. tbh i was gifted this, along with the rest of the aroha community. I LOVED IT. I LOVE THIS WRITING SO MUCH AND I HOPE WHEN IM ON MY DEATHBED, JORDAN COMES AND JUST BURIES ME WITH ALL THIS WRITING

kid!myungjin bullet fic by @lee-dongminhyuk (part 2, part 3)

to be honest, i actually teared up at this one. especially part 2. gosh i loved it all but it was so rough sometimes, but it had such a nice, sweet, happy ending and i just wanted to clap and yell really loudly because i loved it so much! thank you for sharing it with me, my sweet star anon!

fashion designer binu by @astrofireworks

this was just complete perfection! it was cute and fun and short and also i am 100%$ behind the myungjin at the end. dO YOU HEAR ME, IM HERE FOR THIS SORT OF QUALITY CONTENT

Updated:

dream come true by TheOrgasmicSeke

THIS LAST CHAPTER HAD ME REELING HOLY COW MYUNGJUN GAVE HIM A HEART

stray romance by Alette

tbh if you havent heard or seen this fic, idk where you’ve been living, but there is GOOD REASON why it’s so popular, i cry

hot-line bin by peachybean

i laughed a lot. dongmin is all cool and composed to bin but he’s a literal mess to jinwoo, perfection!

full bloom by peachybean

I JUST NOW REALIZED ITS THE SAME FANFIC AUTHOR, NO WONDER BOTH FICS ARE SUCH AMAZING FICS

centaurus a by astrobinu

reading this always makes me feel like im floating around in space and clenching my teeth in excitement!

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!

[pokeallthelawyers]

Outlines for the olwy spinoffs

Lydia and Sarah present: What Could Have Been

[or: our more or less verbatim notes on the stories for olwyverse we were planning, listed more or less in the order we were going to write them]

Our doubts are traitors - Peter’s tumblr

Chapter 5: 9 - 14

Balth and peter ignoring ea/o, repairing relationship, all those cute moments where peter is freaking out internally but just Really Really cares about balth

Co Drunk AMA with Jaquie

Missing moment = Jaquie and Peter getting drunk together

Post movie night -- talk about how ridiculous flatmates are--Talk about magic?

“Denying something isn’t going to magically make the problem go away” - “stfu i don’t want to talk about this” - change of subject but elephant in room, setting up for faustus character development

Chapter 6: Faustus

Talking about play, hyping up play

Missing moment = after party with Jaquie and Costa

Chapter 7: Faustus - 15 (clusterfuck around magic thing)

Missing moment = conversation with Rosa

Trying to get him to understand balth’s situation

Coming to terms with the whole magic thing

Chapter 8: 15 - end of the fic

Peter missing balth

Missing moment = when Balthazar gets back from Auckland, conversation, fluff

Can’t be sure it’s going to work out but it’s worth trying anyway

Talking about rosa leaving: “i’m sorry you had to leave her but i’m glad you could stay”, dealing with the grief of losing his entire people

Talk about the whole elf thing, peter’s opinions about magic (has a lot of work to do, needs to come to terms with accidentally hurting balth/dealing with that)

Relationship, if they want to try a long term relationship, not sure if it’s the best/smartest thing but they want to try anyway (addressing insecurities?)

Not with the eyes but with the mind - Chelsaige

Both povs

When they met + the beginnings of their relationship

Lock eyes across the crowd at one of the gatherings

C: “can i buy you a drink?” P: “i don’t drink” C: “great, me neither!”

Chelsey shows paige her tree, first time paige shows chelsey her music

Melancholy convo about lifespans, “i want a future with you, no matter how long that’s going to be”

Talking about having their own place and starting a garden together one day

Flower imagery

Sweet are the uses of adversity - Manderking

Text fic! + six irl scenes where they meet (Jaquie POV)

Jaquie slips number into freddie’s purse at faustus, freddie almost doesn’t text her but then decides to on a whim (like how often is she spontaneous and just does things because they fall into her lap?? Like why the fuck not, let’s do something for HER for a change)

Neither of them really expect it to go anywhere except when it does start jaquie is charmed by how easily flustered Freddie gets [honestly how can she not, it’s kind of adorable] and Freddie thinks jaquie is… one of the funniest people she’s ever talked to?

Plus their differing views on magic result in some interesting debates. Mostly it ends up in jaquie gently pushing her toward her side though because jaquie is very persuasive when she wants to be

Both of them find this new acquaintanceship… refreshing

They start texting hardcore, as in, like, every single day

Jaquie flirts bc jaquie has no chill; Freddie tries to be chill that cute girl is flirting with her but very clearly isn’t

1st IRL scene - Jaquie hangs with peter at the flat, freddie runs into them by accident

Freddie lowkey pretends she hasn’t been texting her nonstop for a week but jaquie ruins that by making eyes at her

Afterward Peter is like “doth mine eyes deceive me?? Does Jaquie have a crush on one of my flatmates????”

“Oh my fucking god shut up”

Pete is just delighted that he finally has ammunition against Jaquie for teasing him about Balth

2nd IRL scene - study date

Set up - j texting about being bored, f is studying, jaquie’s like “ooh that’s better than nothing i can totally help you study” and fred’s like “I really doubt you’d be of much help” but she also tells her she’s at the library so jaquie just takes it as confirmation that she can come

Freddie’s freaking out over an exam or essay or something and jaquie actually does help her calm down

Maybe there’s some very platonic and soothing hand holding i dunno. At some point jaquie says, quietly, “you’ve got this,” and Freddie nods and steels herself and crushes this thing she has to work on

Jaquie is absolutely not a proud girlfriend. She is a proud platonic friend at best

3rd IRL scene - Jaquie complains about work, freddie decides to surprise visit her at the bar to cheer her up

“How do you know where I work???” “Um you work with Peter right? I just asked him”

Jaquie is, like, knocked on her ass

Cute girl asked about her workplace and came all this way just to cheer her up? Fuuuuuuuck

The moment where Jaquie is like “holy shit i like her”

4th IRL scene - watching/shit-talking shitty movies together

Basically their first hang out that is planned and not spontaneous

Their one scene in the show is watching a movie; freddie’s thing is shitty movies; jaquie’s thing is shit-talking; could we make it more obvious

It’s in Freddie’s room and it’s TOTALLY NOT A DATE

But it’s dark and jaquie is sitting really close to Freddie and at some point she puts her arm around Freddie and Freddie doesn’t push it off and then they’re kind of cuddling and jaquie is slowly dying a little

Probably at some point the movie ends and they lock eyes and just kind of stare at each other for a while in the dark silence and they can kind of tell that there’s something there but neither of them are brave enough to make that next step so jaquie’s like “... i should go home” and Freddie just says “okay” and… that’s that

Freddie fucks up [chapter 15], doesn’t text jaquie for like a day after which really worries Jaquie because they’ve been texting constantly every day for the last like month

Finally Freddie texts her like “I fucked up”

5th IRL scene - jaquie comes over and comforts her

Afterward, texting w increasing romantic tension that both of them can feel but neither of them really call out [especially since neither of them are really talking about the Clusterfuck] so they’re both just like Hardcore Suffering

Finally freddie is about leave for her parents house, doesn’t know if she’ll return to Wellington, texts jaquie her good byes but jaquie doesn’t reply bc she is hauling ass to freddie’s house

Fred is all busy being sad that jaquie won’t answer and then she opens the door and is totally rendered speechless because cute girl on doorstep?

Breathlessly, jaquie says “i think we should date!”

Freddie: “?!?!?!?!?!?!” Still incapable of human speech

Jaquie says in a rush something to the effect of “listen like i know i’m sort of an asshole sometimes and i know you get easily freaked out but you’re really sweet and funny and beautiful and we work really well together and i wasn’t going to say anything because i want to respect your boundaries but you’re going and i don’t know when the next time i’ll get to see you is and i don’t want you to leave without knowing that I - “

Freddie still can’t speak lol she just repeats kind of dumbly “knowing that you what?” Her heart is beating so fucking fast

Jaquie’s like “can i - can i kiss you?”

Commence literally the gayest kiss the world has ever seen

And jaquie whispers, “Will you be my girlfriend?” And Freddie just smiles and says, “I thought you’d never ask” or something equally sappy and terrible and it’s super gay and then they ride off into a gay sunset

What fools these mortals be - Kit (aka the loss highlights reel)

Significant years in his life

Bad experience with a family--warded against fae w/o knowing he was one

Confirmation of being aroace

Exploration of beginnings and being banished from the fae

Background to kit’s motivation in ch15

“Oh brother” background

Background to convo with balth in ch14

“In my vast experience,” Kit adds, “it doesn’t always matter when you leave. Sometimes, it feels like seeing them die kills you, too. Sometimes every last moment you have with them is worth all the ones you don’t. Sometimes it takes a year to smile again. Sometimes it takes three hundred. But if you leave now, or if you stay watch them fade over the course of the century, it doesn’t matter. It hurts, you cry, you mend, you smile. That’s just the way it is, man.”

All of our secrets are out now oops. If there’s anything about this verse that you’re curious about, feel free to send us an ask. -L+S

[flawedinthefantasy]

so last night was my date with L. and it was...bittersweet, i guess.

in the morning i got my hair braided. i’m still struggling with insomnia so i only got a few hours of sleep the night before and was dozing off in the chair. afterwards, i wanted to take a quick nap before driving to the train station because i didn’t wanna drive when i was so sleepy. before going to sleep, he texted saying that he didn’t feel like going to a jazz club and we should just do dinner. i woke up like 20 mins before i wanted to set out and i was irritated because i’d already packed my bag and had my dress and heels and everything ready to go. i quickly chose a backup outfit and tried it on, which made me late for the train. i literally got there as it was leaving and i wasn’t happy. 

fast forward, i get to my hotel with about 45 minutes to spare and i still have to shower and put on makeup. i did all of that and honestly looked really great, i’m somewhat confident in my makeup skills now lol. i was about 10 mins late and had every intention of being a bit bitchy but as soon as i saw him, i could feel my whole face lighting up. he’s been working out and was noticeably buffer than he was in January. he’d just gotten a haircut and he looked so good. the shirt i was wearing is pink and white striped and he joked about me wearing pajamas. 

the restaurant was cool and dark, just how i like it. i got myself a drink and we sat at our table and started talking. we talked about work, he asked me about school and i mentioned having a few breakdowns since i’d seen him in january. he asked me about mental health and we talked about that a little bit. we ordered our food (really good Peruvian food btw) and he said that i only ate half of my food last time so i need to eat this time. i was touched that he remembered and laughed my ass off because little does he know that i eat like a fucking horse haha. 

anyway our convo flowed easily, he told me about work and we talked about where we were when Trump was elected, etc. all night, we kept making eye contact that was really charged. the chemistry was just insane. then the convo took a more serious turn. we were talking about how hard med school is (his older sister is a doctor) and he starts telling me about how tough it can be working on wall street. and how his friend from college is a father and husband now and he lives in the suburbs. he goes “my friend has someone calling him Daddy and it’s so crazy to me”, in this wistful voice. he then goes on to say that he wonders if that kind of life would be possible for him one day and that the way his life is right now, that can’t happen. and i was a little perplexed because as far as i knew, he didn’t even want those things. i asked him if he’d be happy living that kind of life and he said he would. that living in the city and making all of this money seems awesome but he works so hard all the time. that he’d worked from 6am to 2am on thursday and was back to work at 6am on friday. and i was like ????

i said that we didn’t have to get together and he said that he wanted to see me and that if he hadn’t, he would have cancelled. but he’s been going through a lot lately and he’s using this weekend for some R&R. he then tells me about how he and his older sister have no student debt because they both had full rides. and while his parents aren’t well off, his younger sister attends an ivy league school that only gives full rides to students whose parents make below a certain cutoff and his parents are just above that cutoff. so he pays his younger sister’s tuition!!! he told me the amount and my jaw dropped. i was like bullshit and he took his phone to show me. i told him, it was okay and i believed him because i honestly didn’t want to see that. he said that he’s in a position to help and he doesn’t want his sister to have to worry about student loans but that’s only possible because of his job. so that life of living in the suburbs with a wife and kid can’t happen because he’s providing for his family. i was like O_O.

then he goes on to say that for those who want to “get their name known” in the field, they have to work overseas. for him that would mean hong kong or singapore. i was like UHH WHAT? i asked when they would be happening and he said that if he didn’t push back, maybe 2-3 years; if he did push back, maybe 5-7. the alternative would be moving to a different investment bank. my head was reeling tbh. 

he also told me about how there’s no one on his trading floor who’s below 30 and married. how his boss is 45 dating a 27 year old and has no friends his own age. how one of the senior guys wakes up every morning at 5am and has no issue staying until 1am so sometimes he sees his wife and kids 2-3 times per week. then he says that it’s not fair to ask a spouse to accept that type of lifestyle. 

so as he’s saying all of this stuff, he’s making this really intense eye contact and watching all of my mannerisms. i have a really expressive face so it’s easy to see when i’m upset. it seemed that he was trying to explain why we can’t have a relationship. i remember him saying “there’s just not enough time”. as he was talking, i was just looking at him and in those moments, i felt so connected to him. like i could easily fall in love with him. part of me is actually in love with him but i’m just trying to ignore that. he was sharing parts of himself with me and it just didn’t feel like enough. i wanted to know everything. i could feel him restraining himself and he did seem quite sad. as the night wrapped up, he apologized multiple times for not taking me anywhere else. he said that it’d been such a long week, he’s using this weekend for some R&R and after our dinner, he was gonna go home and read a book and call his family. he then asks me for my opinion on mental health again and what i do when things aren’t going well. i asked him what was going on and he kinda shied away from answering. i told him that i journal and i’ve been in therapy on and off since college. i didn’t feel the least bit shy sharing that with him and he took it well. 

SO. the check comes and he says we should split it. and i was like WHAT. even though my food cost more than his and i had 2 drinks, i’ve never split the check with him. and i was kinda flabbergasted that he even asked. he has the money above and beyond so it’s not about that, it’s about him wanting to reinforce the fact that we’re platonic friends and nothing more. i didn’t put up much of a fight but i told him that i was irate with him. he seemed remorseful and said he’d take care of the tip but i said it didn’t matter. i didn’t like the fact that he split the check but i think he wanted that reminder for himself that we’re just platonic. obviously, i was really not pleased with that. like..at all. 

we walked back outside in silence and before parting ways, he looked at me and repeated that it was really great to see me and he apologized again for being in a bad headspace. he almost whispered that he might go up to boston today to see his sister so idk if it’s her having the breakdown or what. as he was talking, he was so close to me and i wanted so badly to kiss him and wrap my arms around him. i wanted to tell him not to leave and just be with me. but i didn’t do anything of that. i told him that he could talk to me and he said he wasn’t comfortable with that but maybe one day. he gave me a hug and left. 

so. after talking to my best friend and thinking about it all last night and this morning/afternoon, i believe that L does like me as much as i like him. but his life is just not set up to have a partner right now. before we got brunch in january, i thought he didn’t like me or wasn’t attracted to me and that’s why he wanted to be platonic friends. but that’s not the case. last night he told me repeatedly that he liked my outfit. when he was apologizing for not taking me anywhere else, he was telling me about nearby bars i could go to and i was like wtf boy i’m not going out alone. and he looked at me and said that he knew for certain that guys would be buying me drinks all night. he stared at me all night..i know when a man is attracted to me and i know that i looked good. i showed him pictures of my parents and he remembered the picture i’d showed him almost 3 YEARS AGO of them on their anniversary standing in front of our house. so i don’t think he doesn’t give a shit about me. i’m skeptical and suspicious of men but i do believe he was telling me the truth.

even still, it does hurt. i like this amazing, intelligent, sexy, generous, hardworking guy and he actually likes me back and we have chemistry but we can’t be together for very valid reasons. because he’s right. i’m the type of chick who needs constant communication and consistency. and he just can’t give me that. part of me is still holding out hope, i won’t lie about that. on my way back from the city, i was literally surrounded by couples. and i just thought why can’t i have that? why does it always have to be a struggle? why the fuck can’t i just have what i want for once? 

idk the answer to those questions. and i still have to tackle my exams so i can’t exactly devote a lot of time to thinking about this. idk if i’ll even see him again because what would be the point? it’d be like dangling delicious food over a person who can’t eat. i’ve never felt longing this way.