#sometimes you gotta get humbled by the fact that you can't actually

[the-archetype-of-civilization]

More little things I noticed in my third rewatch of ATSV.

-SPOILERS AHEAD-

There was a moment that confused me where Spot was robbing the guy of the ATM and he was setting down some cans for (seemingly) no reason. He was actually placing the ATM on top of the cans so he can roll it out.

I can't confirm if this is what was actually there, but when Uncle Aaron was telling Miles they "gotta roll," there was an acrylic stand of Spider-Man there that looked like Miles Morales Spider-Man (color and all).

When Miles was swinging through 42 NYC, there was an advertisement for "Vulture" something, I'm assuming a company. Messed up.

When Miguel first introduces himself by ramming into Vulture, Gwen gets to the spot and does this really slick landing animation where she kinda just gracefully brushes against the bannister briefly before landing on the ground.

42 Rio being given more hours at the hospital shows just how bad 42 New York has gotten without a Spider-Man. Terrifying.

I think I may have pointed this out on a previous post, but 1610 Uncle Aaron had a lucky black cat while 42 Uncle Aaron had a lucky white cat instead. I also like the parallels of Peter being tied up against a punching bag by Miles in ITSV while Miles is tied up by Uncle Aaron in ATSV.

I find it hilarious that Miles STILL doesn't know about ComicCon and didn't bother to look it up since ITSV when 42 Rio brings up "ComicsCon."

When Hobie is blocking off Miles from walking through to Miguel and Miles bumps into him, there's a tiny skull that appears when they make contact. It might just be a punk thing, but I wonder if it's an omen for the bad thing that's ahead of Miles.

Lego Spider-Man's vocalized "boop boop"s killed me.

I love the reveal when Miles realizes he's in the wrong universe, the camera pulls into his face and twists slightly. Obvious but nonetheless cool film styling of "his world is spinning" aside, I love that it feels like a 40's/50's kind of thing. Like this is something that you would see in The Twilight Zone, it nails the old comic book-y vibes too.

42 Miles' facial posture has his head up high and his chin slightly jutting out and up, like he's this "in-charge," cold, dignified superior while our Miles has his chin straight, sometimes pointed down and his head straight, showing he's trying to appeal to his humanity and trying to be humble and unassuming. It's awesome details like this that I love.

Hearing Spot say that he couldn't get a job because of what happened to him at that deli really hurts, honestly. Even if, in a way, he himself is partially to blame, it sucks that he has to resort to this. And the way he says it, almost in a "well, I can't do anything else so this is the only thing I can do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" kind of way is really saddening, like he's trying to take it in stride and as a matter of fact. As awful as Spot becomes, I still feel bad for him.

Miles has a "#BLM" pin on his backpack. I'm sure people saw it already and it's probably a given, but in a world where media is trying to appeal to as wide of an audience as possible, it's nice to see the studio make a clear stance with a character that absolutely fits the bill.

That title drop for Earth 42 when Uncle Aaron tries to dab up Miles going into slow-mo with the music subdued was dope as fuck.

Miles throwing his arms up when asking when his dad dies ("When does it happen?!") is so on-point and well animated, it feels like something every New Yorker would do (I would personally know, since I am one).

When Gwen asks Jess if she ever made mistakes, Jess' reply, saying "yeah, but I got over it," is pretty toxic. It feeds into Gwen's need to avoid her problems rather than address them and face them, and I think that's why she probably chooses to avoid discussing things about Miles to him directly.

That look of disgust on Miles' face when he's being surrounded by Spider-People ("What is this? Some kind of intervention or something?") was so real.

The long silence between Miles choosing to go into the portal to follow Gwen is so good, I love when the movie speaks for itself rather than the dialogue. You can see the hesitation in Miles' eyes and face and then his determination as he jumps headfirst into the portal. A great character scene and fitting transition into the next act.

The album cover for the soundtrack is so good and comes from the scene where Miles goes into the portal. It feels like a mix of something from a Golden Age comic book cover, Miles' hand opened out towards the camera like he's being thrust into another world. And the colors of the portal and transition to Mumbattan are gorgeous. Fills the 40's/50's vibes I was talking about earlier, too.

Jeff's toast is really well done and I like how heartfelt and real it feels. Makes his anger, unfortunately, justified on Miles, even if Miles was trying to do the right thing for him and Rio in the end.

"I was just cool the whole time" is such a boss line, I love Hobie.

Miguel casually (almost lazily) swinging around rescuing civilians at the Guggenheim whilst talking to Gwen about a serious conversation is unironically cool. And it fits to his character, he's probably done it so many times that it becomes child's play in the end.

"I ain't got Scooby-Doo, mate."

How does Hobie know that Miles should use his palms for those powers? Curious.

"But now...I'm not afraid of anything." I love Miles so much, he's grown and become so strong not just for himself but for others. He's the best Spidey. Full stop.

I love the reversal of reflections for Gwen. At the beginning of the movie, she's in her casual wear but with the reflections always showing her in her Spider outfit. At the end, she comes home in her Spider outfit but with herself in her casual wear in the reflection instead. She started off alone in the world as Spider-Woman and ended feeling like Gwen. Her arc was completed and she's facing herself, the real Gwen Stacy and not Spider-Woman.

I felt bad that the deli clerk got bonked by the bat :( But, at least he's all right.

Miles saying "Don't do that" to the kid licking the subway window is real. That shit is nasty, the windows are the least clean parts of NYC's subway.

I love that both Gwen and Miles use comically deep voices around their respective dads. It's cute.

When the police officer was saying "I think we found our sign" when Gwen webbed them up, George's silent head turn with unamusement was awesome.

I will not have anymore George Stacy slander. Yeah, he made a bad call in seemingly arresting his daughter, but he QUIT his job for her. He loves her that much that he quit being, not just a police officer, but a CAPTAIN, for HER sake.

Speaking of which, when George had his gun pointed at her before she unmasked, he had his gun down the whole time after she unmasked, even while he was re-relaying her her rights. And when she tries to approach him, his gun flinches up a bit but stops.

"Can you go easy on the penguin?"

This is actually a follow-up post, since I said before that I might make another. This movie is too much for me and I love taking it apart.

Edit: I'm sorry for the constant updates and changes/revisions, but I can't stop thinking about this movie.

[baekhvuns]

But the fact I even got my American friend who never watched the ACTUAL football and calls it futbol (I banned the word soccer - meanwhile I call American football - futbol lmao) and got excited. She said the final was entertaining. Right, honestly it's sad to see some top players go or lose their strengths. PSG has great players, it's good to have a mix of young stars and experienced legends, but sometimes the more experienced ones aren't doing too well, so even though it's weird seeing them on the bench sometimes they gotta be sacrificed. Lots of people were unhappy that Madrid was keeping the "old" players instead of introducing new faces, but guys like Benzema were clearly capable and we won CL after all.

I'm also a huge tennis fan, idk if you're into it, but both Roger and Serena retired this year, painful 😭💔

The San overlooking the stadium is really so so pretty. Please Pique stay away 😭 normalise blaming everything on Gerard. I'm a fan of Spain NT and I remember him fucking things up a few times. We RM fans laugh that he 100% has an anti-Madrid Twitter account, cause he always talks shit. He'll have more time to commit to hating on Madrid during his unemployment era. 😊

Btw recently I was like "where the hell is Suarez at" but he's playing at home :o

I'm not that into Ronaldo anymore for multiple reasons, but I used to be a stan kayusuahakshuakavs. Now we gotta fight Baek 🥊

Listen I was betrayed by a few players who decided to go to Barcelona, Fabregas, recently my guy Bellerin (I like him more as a person than a footballer, cause we have mutual friends same with a few other ex-Arsenal players 😭) and speaking of French footballers, Griezmann idk what was he doing in Barcelona, I like him but he consistently plays for my enemies Atletico, Barca 🔫

There was a moment years ago when my fave French club was Olympique Marseille, but that was a short-lived love affair. Idk know why I liked them. Not Karim unfollowing almost all French players?! My man Varane is safe from his wrath though haudhsjdgagajaha

And Wooyoung would be a menace on the field 😭 throw Suarez into the mix for biting

Literally, every guy in a manhwa is based on Hwa can you believe? Now let him be the lead in an adaptation.

I think Jongho is winning the battle, Shownu might be in the military, but he's harmless. It's between Jongho and Seulgi then

Damn Eric get a new producer cause wtfff 🤡

A few Shinestars talked about the Hwa thing, but it's always hard not to sound delulu, though even my non-Hwa biased friend (the one who got wrecked by him during the concert 👀) noticed he doesn't have that many opportunities to showcase his skills. I know he's popular and people love him, he's not mistreated or anything like that, but idk I wish he could do more. Mingi is similar, though he was out for a while, but still. Maybe Hwa's too humble 😭 but my guy, please volunteer more if that's the case

Hey, hey he can do both Lego and Dior or whatever, he has the duality after all! At least we're not fighting over model Hwa, he's still on thin ice for me 😅

I hope LSF goes darker! Btw I've been obsessed with their song No Celestial as well as IVE's My Satisfaction

I don't know whether it's April 2nd or 4th I can't count for shit, but aksuuauahauaajajaaaaaaa!!!

I keep forgetting the cb is next week, it still didn't register, I hope we get another movie-like teaser

Happy holidays! I'm not really celebrating, but I got the best gift please HE'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA KMS the reindeers and the kitty 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Big brain

🦌👀 sexy reindeer

I... won't say a word, but I could say A LOT

Me when none of my gifts were that blonde Ateez guy :/ rigged - DV 💖

hi hello!!

But the fact I even got my American friend who never watched the ACTUAL football and calls it futbol (I banned the word soccer - meanwhile I call American football - futbol lmao) and got excited. She said the final was entertaining. Right, honestly it's sad to see some top players go or lose their strengths. PSG has great players, it's good to have a mix of young stars and experienced legends, but sometimes the more experienced ones aren't doing too well, so even though it's weird seeing them on the bench sometimes they gotta be sacrificed. Lots of people were unhappy that Madrid was keeping the "old" players instead of introducing new faces, but guys like Benzema were clearly capable and we won CL after all.

no bc i literally do not get the american way, i've been taught to say football since the beginning but here, everyone says soccer, i was so confused when i heard it and tried correcting them BUT NOOOO,, and what i call rugby is called football by westerners??? I DONT GET IT,, no its sad to see the once insanely talented players beginning to grow old and worn out their skills 😭😭😭 the new era of players arent as eye catching as the ones before,, yeah! it's sad and weird seeing legends be benched, ronaldo ofc, sometimes they are just benched bc they're "old" but they're still good and its just sad seeing their expression where they wanna play but arent allowed too 😭😭 my entire family was raged when ronaldo got benched JUST BC U SCORED SM GOALS WITHOUT HIM IN ONE GAME DONT MEANT IT WILL CONTINUE 😭😭 tbh imo its good that they kept them bc they;ve polished them into what they are today and the attachment they have w the club it'll be hard to get used to the new ones like pedri and gavi WHEN I HEARD XAVI AND INIESTA SAY THEY WERENT AS GOOD AS GAVI AND PEDRI WHEN THEY JOINED MADE ME WANNA THROW HANDS AT THEM

I'm also a huge tennis fan, idk if you're into it, but both Roger and Serena retired this year, painful 😭💔

im not an avid follower but sometimes matches are usually on so i will watch it! always happens to be someone from an australian team too, but im more of football and cricket (only when its ind vs pak fbjbkk) person

The San overlooking the stadium is really so so pretty. Please Pique stay away 😭 normalise blaming everything on Gerard. I'm a fan of Spain NT and I remember him fucking things up a few times. We RM fans laugh that he 100% has an anti-Madrid Twitter account, cause he always talks shit. He'll have more time to commit to hating on Madrid during his unemployment era. 😊

IT REALLY IS SO SO PRETTY, normalize wanting gerard to wanna retire every month bc it geels nice to see the news again idc he'S A SNAKE !! LMFAOOO I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF HE DOES TBH FHBJBFH he's a full time hater, part-time player,,, i am wondering what will happen between rm and ronaldo and mourinho, bc ronaldo wants to play till 41, and honestly mourinho is the only one who can make him do that in finesse

Btw recently I was like "where the hell is Suarez at" but he's playing at home :o ///// I'm not that into Ronaldo anymore for multiple reasons, but I used to be a stan kayusuahakshuakavs. Now we gotta fight Baek 🥊

YEAAAAAAAAH HE IS, A SHOCKER everytime i see him all i see is his teeth 😭😭😭😭 u think his kids get bullied bc their dad bites ppl 😭😭 i will turn into a ronaldo stan at the next wc, i do want him to hold the trophy now that messi has, it only makes sense for him or neymar (bro is suffering, did insane good at copa but messi fjhbkhb read somewhere that he’s like the king who was never crowned bc he’s mostly forgotten, his stats are ignored so hard it mAKES ME UN POCO LOCO) to hold it next,,,it’ll be amazing to see the top 3 players of our gen to hold them, messi pls let them man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO ITS ON SIGHT,, mayne in the near future it’s the 3 messi’s v ronaldo jr that would be insane

Listen I was betrayed by a few players who decided to go to Barcelona, Fabregas, recently my guy Bellerin (I like him more as a person than a footballer, cause we have mutual friends same with a few other ex-Arsenal players 😭) and speaking of French footballers, Griezmann idk what was he doing in Barcelona, I like him but he consistently plays for my enemies Atletico, Barca 🔫

oh???? u know him???? NOW WHO DO U NOT KNOW EVERYTIME IM SURPISED U KNOW SOMEONE FAMOUS WTF IS THIS, DROP ALL THE NAMES U KNOW U CANNOT KEEP DOING THIS,, no what was greizmann doing there 😭😭 it's so random,,, LMFAOOO tbh his presence in the french team makes the team sm better, sometimes i be thinking that he's the captain and not lloris 😭😭 lloris didnt save a single penalty what went on with him 😭😭

There was a moment years ago when my fave French club was Olympique Marseille, but that was a short-lived love affair. Idk know why I liked them. Not Karim unfollowing almost all French players?! My man Varane is safe from his wrath though haudhsjdgagajaha /// And Wooyoung would be a menace on the field 😭 throw Suarez into the mix for biting

SHORT-LIVED LOVE AFFAIR FDHBJFHB LMFAOOO HES IN CAHOOTS W THEM, PROLLY WILL ATTACK DESCHAMPS DBFBDM,,, ik he has beef with greizmann and lloris but its so messy to watch it all go down 😭😭😭😭 STOPPPP I FORGOT HE'D BE SUAREZ TOO PLS THIS GUY WOULD BE A NIGHTMARE FOR TEAMS 😭😭😭😭 A RAMOS, NEYMAR AND SUAREZ MIX GTFOOO

Literally, every guy in a manhwa is based on Hwa can you believe? Now let him be the lead in an adaptation. /// I think Jongho is winning the battle, Shownu might be in the military, but he's harmless. It's between Jongho and Seulgi then

i actually believe it's all shinestars writing these webtoons under a pseudo,,, 1 hour of jongho dying of shyness in front of seulgi when,,, shownu breaking that axe when cutting wood still has me going crazy FORGET JONGHO SEULGI, KAI AND SEULGI

Damn Eric get a new producer cause wtfff 🤡

yeah 😭😭 bc daehyun posted about it too 😭😭😭😭

A few Shinestars talked about the Hwa thing, but it's always hard not to sound delulu, though even my non-Hwa biased friend (the one who got wrecked by him during the concert 👀) noticed he doesn't have that many opportunities to showcase his skills. I know he's popular and people love him, he's not mistreated or anything like that, but idk I wish he could do more. Mingi is similar, though he was out for a while, but still. Maybe Hwa's too humble 😭 but my guy, please volunteer more if that's the case

yeah!! he rly doesn't, i hope he does in the future,, yeah exactly he's not mistreated or anything maybe he's just shy and wants to let his other members shine before he gets the chance BUT HOPEFULLY HWA COLLABS IN 2023 !!! YEAH PLS VOLUNTEER MORE AND MINGI TOO,, sometimes i think the two are the same when it comes to things like this, they took humble and kindness to the next level dbfbf

Hey, hey he can do both Lego and Dior or whatever, he has the duality after all! At least we're not fighting over model Hwa, he's still on thin ice for me 😅 //// I hope LSF goes darker! Btw I've been obsessed with their song No Celestial as well as IVE's My Satisfaction

HE NEED TO DO ANYTHING NOW, FROM BASKIN ROBBIN ADS TO PARIS FASHION WEEKS 😭😭😭😭 imagine one day he's live and he;s in paris for dior but he's doing a lego live in his hotel room 😭😭 GIVE HIM A SECOND CHANCE!!!! omg no bc no celestial is so so good, their discography so far is >>> impurities is also very good!! haVE NOT HEARD THE IVE ON EYET BUT I WILL

I don't know whether it's April 2nd or 4th I can't count for shit, but aksuuauahauaajajaaaaaaa!!! //// I keep forgetting the cb is next week, it still didn't register, I hope we get another movie-like teaser

ITS IN APRIL AND THATS WHAT MATTERS 😭😭😭😭 HES FINALLY COMING 😭😭😭😭 SHINEE TOUR COMING 😭😭,, wait it's next week??? time flew by so fast the euro tours coming too 😭😭 i hope the mv is movie like too! it looks like they're about to perform pink venom

Happy holidays! I'm not really celebrating, but I got the best gift please HE'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA KMS the reindeers and the kitty 🥺🥺🥺🥺 /// Big brain

happy holidays to u too! HES SO CUTE AAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!! AND THESE,, forget big brain what is this fbkbj

🦌👀 sexy reindeer /// I... won't say a word, but I could say A LOT

NO. THANK U! NO SAY IT SAY IT RN, THIS IS EVIL HWA, THE TALENT OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Me when none of my gifts were that blonde Ateez guy :/ rigged - DV 💖

RIGGED INDEED WHERE IS ATEEZ'S 6'1 BIG BOY AND HIS 5'10 COUNTERPART

what is this 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

a-anon

pls do this dhfhef + also someone needs to date this guy 😭😭😭 do u rmr his talk with eric where he said he keeps the lights on at his home so when he comes back its like someone’s waiting for him 😭😭 eunwoo too 😭😭🤚🏼

[ramble-bloo]

Nova and Pluto rambles

I originally posted these on twitter

I keep referring to Nova as an idol but I'm thinking more along the lines of her being a kind of vtuber...but like instead of being a 3d model with face tracking people it's real. Tbh it's lowkey fun thinking of how this little world functions with this advanced technology.

Sadly for Nova, people see her more like a cute little mascot than someone who actually makes content. And since she's freelance, she's gotta take what she can get so sometimes she has to do weird little promotional events for small companies and take weird sponsors for videos

She has a small fanbase but they are super loyal and she cares them greatly. And since there are so little of them-she almost always says yes to autographs and signatures. They are also free. She's pretty humble and down to earth

Pluto on the other hand is basically a freelance hitman but they target people who have dangerous body modifications. Like straight up weapons built into their body, people who are more war machine than human, etc.

Pluto is even occasionally requested by authorities-not as a criminal but for aid since they are so strong that there are some cases only they can handle. In a way, they could be considered a hero...if it weren't for the fact they wouldn't hesitate.

Pluto is a loaded gun that only Nova can handle without the bullet backfiring. They also trust no one else aside from Nova even tho there are some secrets they keep. But that's only because they don't want to scare her away since she's the only good thing in their life.

There is def a threshold of how much of your body can be more technology than organic before you are put on a list of sorts that is basically "You could potentially be a threat in the future" where you are monitored in secret The magic number to remain at least 50% human

I bring this up because Pluto is less than 50%. They are less than then even 10%. They aren't on the list because its nearly impossible to document them. People are too scared to even monitor them. Pluto ain't even their real name.

Nova has a theory that Pluto is actually a bundle of alien technology but any time she brings it up to them, they distract her via flirting. Nothing like a charming sharp toothed smile to make you forget about your actually correct theory.

The real question is if Nova is aware of how dangerous their partner is and the answer to that is yes. She's well aware Pluto has a body count. However, they have morals and aren't a serial killer so Nova vibes with their big weaponized bae.

Pluto tries not to crash any of Nova's gigs but when she livestreams you can def hear them in the background. I say background because whenever Pluto is on any recording device, it glitches to hell and back so you can't get a clear picture of them.

Nova has common sense not to talk about how she's dating one of the most lethal cyborgs in the city. That highkey would put a target on her back, potentially get her cancelled, and she'd lose a lot of sponsors which is income and Nova is barely making it by as it.

She is too stubborn to ask Pluto for financial help bc she wants to be independent...also she doesn't want them to go mad with power over becoming a sugar daddy. Pluto has a very mischievous side that comes out in private with Nova.

Pluto is also a big softie. Initially when they first started dating, Pluto had no idea Nova even made music because of how often she is propped up as a mascot so they actually took the time to listen to all her songs and told her how pretty her singing voice is.

Pluto also doesn't need the same food we consume to keep going. They mainly rely on the sun so they occasionally vibe in some sunlight like a big ol lizard. Bc of how their body works, they get a much bigger boost of energy and vitamins than a normal human.

That being said, they will accept normal food...mainly from Nova tho. She also researched what meals specifically have the most vitamin d in them so she can make it for Pluto whenever they come over to her small pink covered apartment.

They don't formally live together but Pluto visits so often that they easily could be mistaken for it. Nova secretly wishes they could live a neat little domestic life in a comfy house with a couple pets but life sucks so she settles for her fav cryptid dropping by to say hi

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: hey, what you reading? Ro: White Nights, the Dostoyevsky short story, at present Ali: Ooh, nothing like some Russian realism on a pleasant Summer's day Ali: cool you down better than any cheap fan Ro: Quite Ro: The sun is fiercer than my determination to finish this volume Ali: Let me know if it's worth a read myself Ali: Idk how you concentrate with Bea and Fraze going on Ro: I don't think you'd enjoy it, but of course, you're always free to make your own mind up Ro: It occurs so often it's essentially white noise, no? Ali: Valid Ali: Clearly I'm just nosy 😜 Ali: gotta know who I'm rooting for on this one, like Ro: Have you picked a side yet? Ali: from what i can ascertain Ali: Bea felt left out when Fraze and his friends went to the pub without her Ali: so, I can see that Ali: but also, when you're glued at the hip as much as they are, I also see the benefits of having some time apart, of course Ro: Oh Ro: How foreign it feels to align with Bea on, well...frankly any subject Ro: Of course I won't voice it and disturb the equilibrium Ro: Pleasant summer's day and everything, as you said Ali: Pity it can't be on something more happy-making Ali: Why not? They've got no problem doing so Ali: Add another voice to the conversation, babe Ro: Such is life, connected only in misery alas Ro: They barely want to hear what each other are saying, any contribution I made would only be lost in the fray Ro: Much like how Bluebeard has treated my kind offering Ali: Doesn't have to be, get in touch with your anger and there'd be endless bonding material Ali: He is a cat with very little manners Ro: That is one area I may never come close to competing with her and thus, shy away from the attempt Ro: True, not a faithful companion but a constant one nevertheless Ro: In so far as there is light coming through the leaves where I reside Ro: But I doubt anyone can compete with Rocky's loyalty this afternoon, talk about joined at the hip Ali: Fair, she's a pro Ali: Not enviable, really, but impressive nonetheless Ali: Who doesn't love a bit of komorebi? He's big into wabi-sabi too, VERY Japanese in his philosophy Ali: Bless, its so sweet, he's ALMOST being cute Ali: He might be a little demon but he does remember his Ps and Qs, nice one, Ma Ro: Fraze certainly is impressed by it. I however, don't know which is more abhorrent, when they fight or make up Ro: Though I am sure that if they insist upon kissing I'll have to take my leave Ro: Indeed Ro: Enviable of him, at least Ro: We can't accuse him of wishing Carly off your lap to take her place, that's years past his fancy, so he must like her without ulterior motives Ro: Tess is being rather well behaved herself, though it is undeniably problematic that she finds more happiness when you have a girlfriend instead of a boy in your life Ali: I think even they'll have the good grace to wait 'til after the festivities for that one Ali: Or find somewhere a bit more private 😂 Ali: Summer lovin' baby, can't fight that high note Ali: Right? Wouldn't be caught dead, nevermind if I got the pictures out to show how he used to let us dress him up Ali: that'd be a real brawl, take note guys Ali: Yeah, ain't looking that gift horse in the mouth though Ali: if she's happy so am I Ro: Well she certainly appears to be so Ro: Perhaps she'll take Rocky home with her, we'd have a solid few minutes before he was returned, I'm sure Ro: Less if you did get the pictures out and his mood took a turn Ali: He'd be buzzin' Ali: Endless supply of other kids on the site Ali: but I give it less than that 'til he wrecked their van, her parents would not be wid it Ro: She actually does live there then? Hard to separate the facts from the school lead fiction sometimes Ro: I mean, it makes sense but Ali: Yes she does but perhaps you're still working under other misapprehensions if that 'makes sense'? Ro: She has the aesthetic the sort of girl who would live in a caravan, or perhaps old van in times past Ro: That's all I'm saying Ro: It would make sense if her parents were travelers Ali: She isn't, though if you need her to have an exotic culture to get behind then feel free to labour under it Ali: I certainly hope we don't have the aesthetic of the sort of girls who live in the suburbs Ali: or the narrow mindset Ro: I don't need anything from her and I wasn't trying to give or take any traits for or from the girl Ro: Just making conversation Ro: I thought you'd appreciate me trying to discover more about her Ro: Now that she's such a presence in your life Ali: Now's your chance, whilst she's actually here herself Ali: even my perspective is still secondhand, if fairer, in my humble opinion, than playground gossip Ro: You know I don't listen to that Ro: I have my own first hand experience of the unfairness of it Ali: I know that, but I also know we're all prone to forgetting to be objective in the face of a bias we want to confirm Ro: Agreed Ro: But I know too that you yourself are bias and inevitably see what you wish to, when it comes to her Ro: To an outsider, which I am, she appears quite different Ali: Are you honestly worried about how my misinterpretation of her might affect me? Ali: An outsider, by your choosing, might I add Ro: Of course I am Ro: That's all I'm worried about Ro: Are you honestly suggesting that you wish for me to included when your actions suggest otherwise? Ro: In spite of your prior words, might I add Ro: Not to mention Carly's own. I very much doubt she would aspire to join me in a sewing circle or tea of an evening Ali: I appreciate your concern but its unwarranted, I can assure you Ali: I'm not loveblind Ali: and surely you see the possibility that because I know her better, I know things that negate appearances from the outside and first impressions? Ali: Of course I do! Trust me, none of us take great joy in you exiling yourself Ali: Just because she's different, doesn't mean you don't have things in common Ali: Being good people, one of them, but more than you are giving credit for, by the way Ro: I can see lots of possibilities, believe me Ro: But you do love her? Ro: Or have I made another wrong impression about that also Ali: I do Ro: Okay Ali: That doesn't mean you have to buy a nice hat and really lean in to getting along but Ali: she's going to be my friend now, whatever happens with the romance side of things Ali: so, you're going to need to learn to live with that idea, for your own sake more than mine but yes, it would be nice Ali: I don't like seeing you like this, 'nor do I like arguing with you Ali: At all Ro: I'm sorry Ro: I hate arguing with you too, more than anything Ro: Definitely more than any reservations I may have, misplaced or otherwise, about Carly Ro: Do you two have plans after the BBQ winds down? I'm willing to try and be more social if she is indeed staying Ali: I'm sorry too, not for being with Carly but that you're feeling this way Ali: I'd really like to rectify that so that sounds perfect Ro: Maybe we could read her tarot for her? Ro: Do you think that's something she'd like Ali: That'd be awesome, I've told her about some of our exploits Ali: We can teach her Ro: I hope not all! Ro: Her believing I'm offering tea to poison it is not the idea Ali: 'Course not Ali: We still have our secrets, Posy Ali: but I'm glad to know you're not scheming on the sly 😉 Ro: I would never Ro: She has yet to do me that wrong Ali: Did you know Laoise beat her up the other night? Ali: Over literally nothing, she's not learnt her lesson AT ALL 😒 Ro: Oh my god Ro: In that case we absolutely must teach Carly some things Ali: 😈 Ro: I try not to hold hatred in my heart for anyone but that girl is a test Ali: Loving her would make Jesus cry Ali: and not in the #goals way she reckons Ali: You're not that kinda bad, honey Ro: Who won the fight? Ro: I hope it was Carly Ali: Sadly it was more of a close call kinda affair Ali: gotta teach her how to land a decent K.O. amongst other things Ali: but you leave that one to me 🥊😘 Ro: Having a common enemy may not make her my friend but I'll admit to having more affection for her now Ali: See? I told you, more in common than you thought Ali: Not gotta be besties but its at least worth a laugh at Laoise's expense Ro: Yes Ro: And Carly really does seem very happy to be here Ro: with you Ali: I hope so Ali: Her life isn't filled with enough happiness, so whatever I can do Ro: And I promise I'll try to do what I can as well Ro: If only blessings on the sly Ali: Thanks, Ro Ali: it feels right having you back on side Ro: For me too Ro: Although I also promise that I always am when it comes to you Ro: I might be slightly put out of joint, sometimes, but never off side Ali: And the same is returned tenfold, you know that Ro: I love you, Ali Ali: I love you too

[cyberpunkmia]

# 002 . ] When The Party's Over

There's always been this sad feeling to the end of a night alive. You would think it'd end the same way it began the next morning you wake up, but the feeling is far from it, actually. You would think I'd enjoy speaking of it, but the conclusion becomes heart wrenching. It's the truth, after all. As humans we tend to chase after the feeling of being alive, feeling something, anything at that. As we grow older, we seek that in the sensation of feeling numb to the pain that's chased us since the beginning to our lives on this earth. It's not our fault, but feeling low can have its own consequences. We'd rather drink the night away, smoke until there's not a single trace left. The natural instinct is to bury what buried us. Really, there is no end to the obstacles in this life; but we make the most of it. We make our failures, our downs, and our mistakes something beautiful, something unbreakable. It's a strength within, it never stops getting stronger through time. Perhaps time may be the killer, but we revive ourselves through our very own battle scars of our youth. Like throwing fine china at the barren wall to disperse anger, like listening to an angrily punk rock tune in order to get rid of anger within a different breed, we rage against the dying of our light. There's strength in it, refusing to cave.

At the time when partying became something of a two week rebound was around the age of eighteen, going on to nineteen. At the same time as well, I remained faithful to someone I knew I loved deeply. Supposedly, as a woman if you'd go out dressed beautifully in hopes of a magical night, it'd be distasteful. Though arguably, intent means everything. You hold onto your sole intentions, and that's how you levitate about a neon lit room. Anyone who wishes to jeopardize that doesn't know their place, and fails to see yours. There's nothing wrong with it though, souls don't align the same all the time. It's the variety of things we've been through, our stories that differ. Thus being what's at fault, bad timing. That wouldn't be the stop to fighting for mine; my very own story. Like an A24 movie, or an edgy episode short on a Norwegian coming of age tv show, I felt I deserved the right to live it, experience a setting like so. It was for experience with friends, yet at the same time it was also the smell of a perfectly rolled blunt silently calling out to my deadbeat conscience.

Truth be told though, loving wasn't easy at the time, but what was worse was that I was in love deeply. We fight for love, wherever we can find it, because without it, we are ghosts. Similar to fighting for a love that has had one too many blows from an entity of lost hope, no. Loving was never made easy. It makes us feel alive though, and maybe that's what we always tend to chase after. Life. Maybe love inspired me to chase after life, after all. The moments that gave me reason. Anxiety had been what made me afraid to approach the spontaneous moments in life, and strength came from my hope in love. So maybe the man I loved did make me stronger, highlighted and bold-ed me like a statement. Because when the party's over, it'll be my faith in love that saves me from an empty morning. The statement that is me, expands with no end in the depths of glowing brown irises, and a tongue that speaks the same language of love. At a party, the nostalgic feeling never really tends to last, in exchange is the feeling of freedom ultimately, though. The shackles of this life can feel like four walls threatening claustrophobia, and the urge to prowl and rigorously shake this feeling off strengthens. We drink until our eyes will hang low, until the room sways to the beat of the bass. We'll smoke until clouds fill our atmosphere. It all begins with an endeavor, a lust for life. Bring it with you on a night out, and in my opinion you're all set.

There are different endeavors of course, are you searching for love? Or just the feeling of it? Maybe it isn't love you're looking for, maybe it's a drink you unfortunately can't have because you aren't of legal age yet. At the age of nineteen, I came to accept the fact I've found love completely, the endeavor's purpose wasn't to feel love at a party; it was to numb the painful memories that were brought onto me by luck that went rotten, the pieces of glass that threatened to burn out love in my life. There comes rage again, the urge that rolls in. Violence? Never. Beauty in rage is the fact that it can be radiated abundantly through art, through literature, through beautiful photos, most importantly through emotion whether it be newfound, or emotions that has become everlasting. Rage for positivity, for the beautiful moments in life. It's a constant battle, fortunately. If it's an ego you tend to, watch out in all honesty. Dangerous waters, it is you really paddle. As Kendrick Lamar preaches in an iconic track, staying humble in a setting that can sometimes be a shark tank is vitality, so cling onto it until dawn calls.

In the midst, you're in the matrix, dodging temptation back and forth. It's what I ended up doing every time, clinging onto faith, clinging onto love. Intentions I simply had were to dance, to feel excitement. The doldrums of an everyday routine can definitely wear your soul out, so to keep the light lit is what's got to be done. Anyone who falsely accuses me of any intention besides the purest simply doesn't deserve the energy I give. Another obstacle often battled is the fight for happiness itself, yet every time it's washed away we crave for it more- we yearn for it. Partying can manifest itself into a cycle that way, yet I can say for myself that this place never felt like home to me for that reason. Having the highest high be taken away from you in exchange for the daylight repeatedly is sheer robbery, a crime unassigned. The consequence of living through the night is the way people perceive you sober, thus manifesting the temptation to rage and feel alive yet again.

Later on, I realized the night life wasn't for me after all, because of the mess that's brought upon from wanting to fulfill the similar feeling to slammed fine china, or screaming at the top of my lungs. Though at the same time, I'll remember these experiences for life, and I'll smile at my youth the way youth intends to simper as well. We're better in solace, not in rage. I no longer drink heavy liquor the same in present day, so I see the difference of how I perceive emotions that whelm me. It all really depends, I can feel deeply when I drink, but there are times when I feel absolutely nothing but a sinking feeling. It's simply a game of rolling dice, really.

I don't feel this way about love, the act of falling in love. It's bigger, than this feeling of a hungover morning, it's what made me stronger without knowing at such a young age, actually. Conclusion being, I'd trade moments at parties for a conversation with... Let's call my first love, Mr. Cassanova. Perhaps to have experienced the night life would've been better with Cassanova, that way I wouldn't have felt like I missed out on moments with him, but I've gotta carry on. Life stops for nobody, so hold onto you're Cassanova if you've got him, and never make him feel like he's any less because of this temptation of nights alive. Intention is your truth, I'd have to say, so move with gratitude, with love, and turn perceived negativity into redemption for yourself, for future's past- because a party isn't even the beginning to survival, more like a temporary fix to life. Indefinitely.

- 2:53 P.M.

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written by: Mia Rose Sarmiento

5/20/21

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