#sorry OP for taking this topic and wrenching it sideway into another direction but apparently my brain had ThoughtsTM

[spoonyglitteraunt]

Ok another case of my tags grew out of control so putting them in a reblog instead (sigh, this is happening a lot lately it seems)

I think one could say that the original virtue, the original intent of fairytales isn't just humility, but often it is being social and kind is good actually. It's showing kindness to someone you had no reason to show kindness to and getting rewarded for it. It's banding together against greater evils, because there is power in working as a team. It's about caring for others instead of your own more selfish desires. Yes there is a lot of saving of others (in all directions), but it's often to show that we are not an island. That we need others, just as they may need us. And that last one is so important. Because this rejection and mischaracterisation of fairytales and "save the princess" narratives (whether that is the actual narrative or not) has a side effect I think many don't realise. It's not the intention, but it's very much real and damaging. See, I know that much of the backlash towards damsels in distress is because it got overused. Especially in ways that were less fairytale and more, women can't be competent and do things, they are just there to be a prop. I get that, but instead of recognising that what we need is more variety, more diversity in stories and female characters. Instead of realising that any trope can be good or bad depending on its usage. It seems like society just flipped the switch to only girlbosses, nothing else. Now I don't begrudge people their empowerment fantasies. Mini me was fully on board with the saving yourself idea, even before this fully started to be a thing. But then I got sick. Chronically ill and severely disabled to the point where I'm now housebound. And suddenly people mocking and ridiculing any story where a princess needs saving hurts. The constant bashing and picking apart of fairytales, of any narrative that dares to have a woman need saving. Every call out post. Every bad cynical hot take. Every cutting joke and "satire". Even when people call for more diversity in female characters —sick of how the girlboss trope is just as limiting as before — damsels and princesses are still constantly treated as a no go. Considered wrong, bad writing, weak characterisation, un-feminist. All the marks of a no good, very bad, horrible writer story. You know what that says to people like me? That we have no right to exist. That stories should never include us. That we are wrong. A trope born only from misogyny and bad writing. That we are bad women, bad allies, bad people to even want stories like these. And while I know that's likely never the intention, it's still the result. It hurts every. Single. Time. Because to me and many like me — the sick, the hurt, the suffering* — there is comfort and value in seeing stories where someone matters enough to be saved. Even if they are weak, or passive, or scared. They have value. Princes come to rescue them. Huntsmen and dwarves give them aid and shelter. Fairy godmothers help them escape their horrible abusive situations. Magical creatures reward simple acts of kindness and show up in their hours of needs. No trope is inherently bad. No story format is evil. It's all in how you use it. And you never know how much one of those may mean to someone needing some comfort, and to see even just a hint of themselves in a story. So please stop. *Do not come for me with the bad take that "'Actually disabled people can save themselves!" Some can, some are entirely dependant on others for aid. Neither of those is wrong. And sometimes, even if you can save yourself, you just would like to not have to be the strong one for five minutes. To just have the fantasy of someone else doing the fighting for you. For being valued enough to matter. Because you're tired and you need a fricking break.

Those "modern fairy tales where the princess saves herself" types of books not only misrepresent the gender roles in fairy tales (there are tons of stories where girls get to save the day), but they fundamentally misunderstand the entire genre.

Fairy tales aren't about saving yourself.

These aren't epic myths or heroic legends about the great warriors who slay every monster in their path because they're so awesome. Fairy tales are almost always about ordinary, even incompetent, people who get thrown into strange situations where they only succeed because of the help of others.

It's not a gendered thing. The boy who goes off to seek his fortune is usually the dim-witted third son whose older brothers are the strong, smart ones. The third son succeeds because he is kind to the magical helpers who then complete the tasks for him--and the exact same thing happens when a girl is the main character.

The characters in a fairy tale rarely succeed because they embrace their own strength and take their own path. Much more often, they are told step-by-step what to do, and they succeed because they obey--respecting the wisdom of others.

The core virtue of a fairy tale is not pride, but humility. It's not a story about the strong, but those who are weak, small, helpless. The people who can't do it all on their own, but can recognize the worth and wisdom of others.

Turning this story into a "girl power" (or even a "boy power") story warps it into something that is fundamentally the opposite of a fairy tale, and it has nothing to do with the gender of the main character.