#sorry about this post my bestest friends it’s been eating away at my brain just had to get it out

[pancakehouse]

hi um do you guys also have a couple random throwaway bits of books or other media you think about regularly just going about your everyday lives .. like there’s a small recurring bit in anne of green gables where she’s never properly cleaning the dirt from behind her ears when she bathes and she’s always getting scolded for it and every day when i shower im like rlly making sure to get in there aggressively scrubbing behind mine when id have never thought twice about it otherwise you know! and also when im driving and pass a cop car and i slam on the breaks even when im not speeding i think of the line in twilight where bella’s like ‘nothing slows down traffic like a cop’ and think . wow … she was so real for that…

[tommybaholland]

when they’re drunk [shamrock special ☘️]

featuring: captains and vice captains (aka kuroo, bokuto, akaashi, sugawara, and kita)

mentions of drinking and general drunk antics. hope everyone who celebrated had a fun and safe st. patrick’s day! 

kuroo

he’s really fun and entertaining when he starts feeling his drinks

he likes to dance and really gets into it

if you’re lucky, you might even see him try to twerk or throw it back

he mostly likes dancing with you though 

more like watching you dance and have fun

you’re someone who prefers to stay in a little more but you haven’t regretted going out with him and all your friends since the first weekend

kuroo liked going out with you for many reasons 

his number one begin that you always looked so beautiful when you get dressed up to go out

his brain’s like, “that’s my gorgeous s/o right there”

but sometimes other people take too much notice of it for his liking and he gets a little protective over you

one time you and he were waiting for drinks at the bar and there was someone standing on the opposite side of kuroo

they lean over and decide to say hi to you and you said hi back, just to be polite 

kuroo just ignored them until you got your drinks and they try to cheers with you and keep talking to you as if kuroo’s not even there

so when you’re not looking, he decides to talk to them 

“hey, that’s my s/o you’re talking to so i need you to back off >>:(” 

he almost gets into a fight with the guy but instead goes back over to you

“i didn’t do anything, babe. can i please kiss you?”

(this gets a little more heated than just one kiss)

but he’s enjoying it knowing that the guy should be blessed to watch him make out with the most attractive person there

when you’re leaving to find your car and he’s pretty smashed at this point, he’s always losing things

“babe? babyyy where did you go-- oh, you’re right behind me, haha” 

“oh my god, babe, we have to go back. i can’t find my phone!”

he finds it like two minutes later, but enjoys your hands feeling all over him to try to locate it 

he’s also very, very flirty when he’s drunk

presses you up against the car when you find it

“i’m not irish but...can you kiss me anyway?”

bokuto

loud and chaotic, for the most part

loves a good game of beer pong or slap cup

even when he’s drunk, he gets really serious about the game

most of the time he wants you to play with him, even if you’re not that good or confident in your pong abilities 

but if you don’t play, he still likes to involve you somehow

definitely the type to have you kiss the ball for ‘good luck’ 

(after he’s cleaned it off on his shirt, of course) 

he swears by that when he makes it in but it’s also because he’s ‘just awesome’

and if there’s karaoke, well, everyone else should just go home 

because this man will sing all night if he has to 

he really gets into it and that’s what makes him pretty good at it

you have a video of him passionately singing ‘fergalicious’ 

you’re very tempted to post it on tiktok 

honestly, he’d probably let you, especially when he kills the rapping part of the song 

truly the life of the party 

but he checks up on you every now and then

“are you having fun, babe?”

and if you’re not, he wouldn’t let you leave alone and would go home with you if you wanted 

either way, he also makes sure to spend plenty of time with you, which is usually more when he’s bored of games towards the end of the night 

he gets kinda emotional and cheesy at that point

“thank you for coming out with me. you’re the best!”

“you know what, babe? i think it’s so amazing that me, the bestest guy, got paired with you, the bestest person ever!” 

“i just love you a lot, okay? :’)” 

you can always count on him if you want to have a fun night out

akaashi

very calm and relaxed

but he gets very needy and clingy when you’re with him

he tries to socialize if he’s out with you and others but he prefers to stay by your side, touching you delicately somewhere 

usually a hand on your lower back or around your hip or an arm slung around your shoulders

when you’re not around him, like when you’re in the bathroom or getting a drink, he’s still watching out for you

it’s just a little habit he has, making sure no one messes with you or your drink 

he also likes to have bokuto around because he knows he can count on him to help intervene if anything does happen

he trusts you though and knows you can handle yourself pretty well

tries to dance but isn’t the greatest at it 

but he also doesn’t like when it’s in a tight space area with a ton of people and the air is hot because it fogs up his glasses

and at the end of the night when he’s all good and liquored up

his neediness is at like level 1000

it’s like the alcohol makes it very salient in his mind that, “wait, i have an s/o and i love them so much”

so he feels like he has to tell you all things he loves about you as you’re leading him outside to catch an uber

also gets this swoon-worthy, half-lidded expression with a goofy smile to match 

“you’re so beautiful, you know that?”

“and so kind. you take such good care of me, baby”

your face gets all hot and you can’t hide your smile

you don’t even care if it’s the drinks talking bc he’s still the sweetest boy around 

and when you tell him you love him, he looks like he’s about to cry as he hugs you impossibly tight

“aww baby, i love you, too. so much.” 

he keeps an arm around you, making sure you’re warm as you wait for the uber 

(but also to keep himself steady)

leans against you during the car ride home and whispers sweet nothings in your ear as he occasionally kisses your cheek

sugawara

he’s the all-around type and a mix of the previous three

loves to dance, play games, drunkenly yell traditional cheers and songs

but he also very much enjoys and appreciates your company 

can also be very flirty at times

“you look really good tonight. did i tell you that, sugar?”

he’s not much of a fighter or one for conflict in general, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get protective over you

if anyone tries to chat you up or mess with you, he’ll try to get you out of there in the most discrete way possible

he’ll be like, “oh hey, there you are, babe! we’re over here-- oh, who’s this?”

usually, the other person will take the hint by then and back off 

but if they seem more bold and persistent, he’ll just wrap an arm around your shoulders and lead you away while saying to them, “nope, sorry, that’s not happening”

unfortunately, his sweet face doesn’t help too much, so it’s nice when asahi’s also around for some intimidation tactics

he doesn’t usually like to stay out too late and likes to get home early enough so that he can spend more time alone with you

he’s a big fan of eating or cooking something after a night out 

or going to some random convenience store and drunk buying a bunch of junk food for you both 

a lot of times you end up staying up late watching something and usually, it’s a random movie 

but the alcohol always wins and you’re both asleep on the couch before the movie even finishes 

he never sleeps that well when he’s been drinking so he wakes up to turn off the tv 

he’s too inebriated to carry you to bed so he makes sure you’re comfortable and warm with him on the couch

but that usually causes you to wake up and he tries to remain as quiet as possible, his voice at a whisper

“oh, i’m sorry i woke you, sugar. c’mere, lay down on me”

the pressure from your body on his helps to stop the spins and get him to sleep more peacefully 

kita

he’s a man of moderation and not usually a heavy drinker or makes sure he’s drinking plenty of water between drinks

however, that doesn’t mean there aren’t times where he has a little too much fun

it’s a common occurrence when he’s hanging with his old teammates 

prefers a simple and quieter drinking game, like kings, instead of ones where he’d have to clean up a lot afterward

he doesn’t dance much either

he’s more out of it than anything

suna has plenty of pictures and videos of him apologizing to a house plant for ‘bumping into it’

he also wanders around a lot and gets himself lost

one time you found him in a lonely room, laying on a couch

“oh, love, there you are! did they-- did they send you in here?”

you’re like ‘who??’

you sit down and put his head in your lap 

as he tells you how he went to look for water but found this room and decided to lay down

“and someone came in here and tried to lay my head in their lap and touch my face. i think maybe they tried to kiss me too.. but i said, ‘no you can’t do that because i have an s/o. don’t you know that?’ and then i told them to go tell you that i’m in here.”

you tell him that no one told you but that you were looking for him

“well, i’m glad you found me”

he leans up and tries to snuggles into your shoulder

“why would they even come in here? couldn’t they see i was laying down? also, i’m pretty sure everyone here knows that we’re together so why would they do that when you’re the only one i want?”

he becomes kinda emotional and inquisitive about it but you think it’s adorable

even if he’s a little out of it when he’s been drinking, he still knows to put up boundaries when necessary 

you stay there with him for a little bit longer, eventually laying down with him on top of you, his head on your chest 

“let me know if i’m too heavy, okay?”

you kiss his head and rub his back soothingly 

you’re actually kinda looking forward to taking care of him when you get home

because he always takes such good care of you <3

just our luck that it’s haikyuu night, huh? send a request for more luck!

[ushiwhore]

Contentment pt.2

Tendou x Reader , Ushijima x Reader

Warnings: Curse Words. Angst -> Fluff. 

Word Count: 6,828 

Tendou isn’t an idiot, he can tell something has changed between you two. He can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but what he does know is that not having you around sucks. It also sucks to see you with someone else.

Read the first part: click me!

Getting over Tendou Satori was a tedious process. You couldn't hate him for not returning your feelings - that he was painfully unaware of - but you had to avoid him in order to allow yourself to focus on other things.

The first few weeks, it wasn't too hard to slip out of his sights and sneak off to your classroom or the library in order to avoid sitting with him, his girlfriend, and Wakatoshi.

You'd give some lame excuse as to why you couldn't stay long, and he'd nod, too focused on some story his girlfriend was telling them about the time she stole Y/N's crush and best friend away, something like that. Or well, that's all you heard whenever she opened her mouth.

It hurt seeing him disregard his bestest friend’s absences, preferring to give some girl who hesitated to enter a relationship with him more attention and care. 

You wouldn't have hesitated, you dully noted as you walked off to your classroom, as had become routine.

It was today in particular that there was a change to said routine.

You sat at your desk, slowly eating your food due to lack of appetite. You were usually lost in thought, arguing with yourself on whether or not you should be avoiding Tendou like this. He was still your best friend after all, but you also needed time and space to heal. Heal from wounds he'd made unknowingly.

Your train of thought was interrupted when a tall figure took a seat at the desk beside yours. You looked up, a small smile melting onto your confused expression when you saw it was Wakatoshi.

"Toshi- Hi."

"Hi. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all- Did something happen?"

"I was getting kind of tired of listening to her talk about her personal problems."

You let out a small laugh at how blunt he was being. It was true. The girl tended to overshare. If you ever stayed for lunch, it sounded like she was reading out her autobiography.

"She just.. likes sharing stuff since she trusts us." You said softly, looking down at your food and picking at it. Your path to contentment meant supporting their relationship, and both of them individually.

"She can share it with Tendou then. Is it okay if we have lunch together from now on?"

You smiled at that, pleasantly surprised. "Of course, Toshi." As you watched him take out his own lunch, you let out a small sigh. "Sorry for making you pick."

His confused expression told you to continue, so you did. "Making you pick which friend you want to hang out with. Y'know, me or Satori. I just.. I want to support him, but I need to heal first. I promise you things will go back to normal once I know I've gotten over him for sure."

"It's fine. Plus, it's better to hang out with you. Satori's too focused on his girlfriend to pay me any attention."

As he should, you thought. He seemed to be a great boyfriend. Even if he wasn't your boyfriend.. he was still great. But then again - he should still pay attention to Toshi (and you). He shouldn’t have to pick between his lover and his friends. It was probably weird for Ushijima as well, not having Tendou around all the time. You understood how he felt, but decided not to voice any of this.

You both began to eat your food, enjoying the comfortable silence. The kind that eased your thoughts and allowed you to just breathe.

The silence would be broken here and there when you two would talk about your days or a particularly hard assignment a teacher had left. Or perhaps practice and the newest episode of the show you were watching. It all felt easier whenever Wakatoshi was around.

°•°•°•°•°

No matter how long it had been since the bathroom incident where you swear you had your awakening, it’s still so so so so difficult and exhausting.

Seeing him in the hallways or on your way to class was tough. It was tough cutting the conversation short. It was tough not talking to him about what happened on the latest episode of the show you two loved to watch on his couch/bed as you cuddled and ate snacks. Friendly cuddles, of course.

Sometimes, you'd find yourself thinking about how it felt whenever he'd have his arms wrapped around you, giving you the warmest cuddles. Whenever he let you borrow his sweaters because it was cold and he couldn't let his little Y/N get sick! Or whenever he would walk you to your dorm, hands intertwined and gently swinging back and forth. Study dates sessions where your eyelids would get too heavy and you’d rest your head on your textbook. Just for a few minutes, you’d say. And then you’d feel his fingers gently playing with your hair, massaging lightly and making you almost purr at the contact. 

These thoughts were invasive, and they’d squeeze into your brain at the worst moments. Whether it was cold outside, you saw a couple walking down the street, or you saw him. 

It all hurt so much. Your brain wouldn’t stop hurting you, no matter how hard you tried to forget. Sometimes, you’d be sitting at your desk, giving your phone the deadliest glare, waiting for the screen to light up with a message notification from him. But for a whole month, that message you yearned so badly never came. 

Tendou’s absence in your day to day life was bittersweet. It was sweet since it meant that you didn’t have to see him or his girlfriend together, it meant allowing yourself to heal and get over him. However, it was also bitter since that man was your BEST FRIEND. He was such a huge part of your days. It felt weird not hanging out even for a few minutes. 

He was happy though, if his social medias were anything to go by. She made him happy, and that’s all that mattered. A small sigh escaped past your lips as you scrolled past yet another post of them on their 5th date of the week. You scrolled back up after a few moments. Zooming in, you could see how genuinely happy he looked. 

That’s the smile I love so much. She's putting that smile on his face. They are happy. Although it takes a few more moments to process, it still has a wonderful feeling settling on your chest. Contentment. 

Seeing them together makes those thoughts go away. Makes you stop missing his embrace because.. it just feels wrong. To crave a man’s touch, especially one who does not belong to you. Seeing Tendou with someone else feels like a cold bucket of water thrown at you. It’s sobering. Makes moving on just a tiny little bit easier.

°•°•°•°•°

If you want to heal, don’t just stay cooped up in your room. Go out and get some fresh air, have fun. 

That’s what Wakatoshi told you during one of your many shared lunches.

Ushijima was trying his best to squeeze you into his schedule, even if you were both often busy. He had practices, and you had work. 

But whenever you two had a day off, you’d meet up and go see a movie, or go eat at this new restaurant you both wanted to try. Or just meet up to talk.

Not only did it help get your mind off Tendou Satori, but it was also quite fun to be around Wakatoshi. 

“Why are you doing this?” You asked absentmindedly, and quite bluntly, as you watched him buy some snacks for you two. 

“Why am I doing what?” 

“Hanging out with me so much. Is it.. are you trying to help me get my mind off of him?” 

He turned around, handing you a few snacks before shrugging. “I like hanging out with you. Thought we were having fun. But well, yeah, I am.” 

A small blush creeped onto your cheeks as you took the snacks. “I like hanging out with you too.. but thank you Toshi. It really is working, and I’m.. I’m really thankful for your help.” 

He smiled a bit at that, reaching over and softly patting your head. The simplest touch, yet it still had shivers running down your spine. 

“I’m glad I could be of help. I just want to see you back to your cheerful self.” 

“Thanks again, Toshi.” You didn’t hesitate to pull him in for a hug. He was so warm, and he made you feel so safe. 

A small ‘oof’ escaped his lips from the sudden pull, pleasantly surprised by this. Though it took a few seconds, he still managed to hug back. 

It’s a shame though. A real shame. Maybe if your face hadn’t been buried in his chest, you would’ve seen the prettiest blush take over his features.

°•°•°•°•°

“How are you feeling?” 

His deep voice brought you back into reality. You two had been studying together in the library after classes since you both had the day off. 

“Really good, actually. I’m finally understanding these problems. This much knowledge is making my head hurt though.” 

“We should stop here for today then, since we’ve basically caught up on all assignments.” He paused after closing his textbook, “I wasn’t talking about the homework though.” 

You tilted your head a bit, giving him a confused look as you put your books away as well before realizing what he meant. He was asking how you were feeling in regards to Tendou and the whole moving on thing. It made you feel warm inside, that he cared enough to check in and make sure you were okay.

It made you all mushy inside because you knew he wasn’t the best at talking about feelings/emotional things. He was getting out of his comfort zone for you.

“Oh - Well.. I’m feeling really good about that too, actually. All thanks to you, Toshi.” You gently nudged him with your arm as you stood up and put your backpack on. 

“I’m glad you’re doing well, Y/N. You deserve happiness.” 

His kind words always managed to make you get all emotional, because well - it was coming from the one and only Wakatoshi. 

“You deserve happiness too, Toshi.” You said as you waited for him to stand as well. “How are you feeling?” 

He stood, putting his backpack on before walking over to where you were. His lips curved into a tiny smile. 

“I’m feeling really good too.” 

It wasn’t hard, at all, to return the smile. You stood smiling at each other for a few more seconds before he finally lead the way over to your dorms. 

It wasn’t unusual for him to walk you back to your dorm whenever he could. Those walks would usually include a lot of small talk or comforting silence. 

This walk wasn't any different. When you two finally made it to your door, you turned to look at him. “Thanks again, Toshi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smiled before waving and unlocking your door. 

“Ah, Y/N.” He called out, making you turn to look at him. “I was actually wondering.. or well. We have a game coming up. Would you perhaps want to come?” 

Funny story, actually. Throughout your friendship with Tendou, you surprisingly hadn't gone to that many volleyball games. It was inconvenient, but your boss seemed to always have you scheduled whenever he had a game. Of course, you’d been to a few, but usually could never make it. You’d cheer for him all the way from work. 

“When is it?” 

“In two days.” 

You simply nodded, “I’ll have to check my schedule.. but I’ll let you know, Toshi. Thank you for inviting me.” 

After you closed the door, you immediately grabbed your phone and texted your manager. They were always giving you weird, rarely consistent schedules, so you never knew what to expect. However, you’d try your best to attend. Your screen lit up with the notification that told you you’d be busy in two days. 

You frowned, but quickly replaced it with a witty smile. You’d try to convince them to give you the day off once you got to work tomorrow. After all, they weren’t irrational or assholes. They would be understanding, or so you hoped.

°•°•°•°•°

You never told Wakatoshi whether or not you’d be able to come to his game, mainly because you weren’t really sure. 

However, it had taken just a tiny little bit of begging for them to give you the day off. You were a hard worker and they really did appreciate you, so giving you that day off didn't hurt them or their business nearly as much as you’d thought. 

Now, you were walking into the gym where they’d be playing their match today. You felt quite excited, to be honest, since this was the first game of theirs you’d seen in a while. To no surprise, the crowd was huge, ranging from Shiratorizawa’s cheerleaders to the school’s band as well, along with a lot of students who were beaming with pride. 

It was an atmosphere that hyped almost everyone up, except the team they were playing, of course. You imagined it would be quite intimidating to hear hundreds of people cheering for Shiratorizawa while trying to serve, or doing warmups. 

Both teams were already doing their warm ups, so you focused on finding yourself a seat. It wasn’t long before your eyes landed on Tendou’s personal cheerleader. You flinched a bit as you heard her call out your name. You had secretly been hoping that you’d slip out of her sight and just get to sit elsewhere. That clearly wasn’t an option anymore. 

A small sigh escaped your lips as you walked over to where she was sitting. You watched as she scoot over, patting the now empty space. You took a seat and gave her a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi! I didn't know you were coming.” Your eyes immediately fell to the sweater she had on. Tendou’s. 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it.” You said, unable to take your eyes off the sweater. She must’ve noticed because she gently pat the spot you were glaring staring at. 

“Ah, Tendou gave it to me since I was cold. He's such a sweetheart. But well, it’s nice to have someone else to watch the game with.” She said with a small smile. You let out a small laugh and nodded in agreement. She was about to start talking when you heard a familiar voice approaching. 

“Y/N????” 

You couldn’t help but freeze. Of course he’d be here, he was in the team as well. You slowly turned to look at Tendou. His eyes were wide and he had the biggest smile on his face. It must be surprising to see your best friend at one of your games, you thought, especially after not talking to them for over a month. 

“You actually came to one of my games? Awesome! You came to cheer me on, didn't you? How lucky am I?!” He let out a happy laugh, as he finally stood in front of the two of you. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

How does one explain that you were here because Ushijima had invited you, and not because you wanted to see Tendou. Without being rude, of course.

Before you had the chance to respond, Ushijima appeared behind him with a small smile. 

“Y/N. You made it after all.” 

You smiled back, “I did. Sorry for not telling you sooner. Thought it’d be nice to surprise you.” 

A confused look took over Tendou’s face, but it didn’t take long for him to understand what was going on. You weren't there to see him. You’d come to see Wakatoshi. 

As you smiled at Toshi, you could feel Tendou’s gaze burning a hole into you, and tried your best to ignore it, turning to him and giving him a small smile instead. 

His gaze didn’t falter, but he did smile back. Ushijima gently pat his back, “Let’s get back to warm ups.” 

He nodded, “It’s nice seeing you again, Y/N.” He said before giving his girlfriend’s hand a small squeeze and jogging after Ushijima. You bit at your lower lip, unable to stop thinking of the deadly gaze Tendou had been staring at you with. Was he upset? I mean - that would make sense. He probably felt like a clown since he had assumed you were there to see him. That made you let out a small laugh, basking in the fact that Tendou might feel the way you’ve felt for months! A clown, a whole circus.  

Of course, it hurt seeing his confused expression replace his usually happy expressions, but it also made you feel better. It was bittersweet. It was a taste of his own medicine. It was--

“So.. you and Ushijima, eh?” 

You blinked, staring at the girl that sat beside you. “What?” 

“Oh, y’know. Are you guys a thing?” 

Before you could even comment on that absurd thought - it was absurd because you hadn’t even thought of Toshi in that way - she was already speaking, basically thinking out loud. 

“I mean, that would make a lot of sense.. you stop hanging out with us, and suddenly so does Ushijima? Aww, you two must be spending lunches together~ How cute.” 

Your mouth kept opening and closing, unable to form a single word. She took your silence as a sign to keep talking. 

“Also, you came to the game to watch and support him, eh? It’s like.. I’m Satori’s personal cheerleader and you’re Ushijima’s cheerleader!” She said with a huge smile on her face. 

You.. dating Toshi? The thought had never crossed your mind. But now that the possibility had been presented to you, you knew you’d be thinking about it tonight as you lay in bed. 

“I-I’m not..” you still couldn’t form a proper sentence. “We’re not..” 

“It’s okay! I won’t tell Tendou.. I’m guessing that’s why you also stopped spending lunches with us? A secret relationship.. don’t want to hurt your best friend by dating one of your mutual friends. Your secret is safe with me. I get it!” 

No you fucking don’t, you wish you could say that, but you were still too stunned to even speak. You cleared your throat, attempting to explain but she was already looking over at the court, cheering for Tendou Satori as the teams walked out and lined up. 

He deserved that type of support, he deserved someone who could actually be out here for all his games. Not someone who would send little encouraging messages before their shift. Messages that probably did nothing to hype him up. No, he needed someone to be out here, screaming his name and cheering as loud as they could. 

You closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying your best to stop these negative thoughts from affecting the rest of your night. Once you had opened your eyes, you looked for Toshi, wanting to shout out your own words of encouragements. 

°•°•°•°•°

The match had been a rollercoaster of emotions. It hadn’t been the typical Shiratorizawa match, where they had crushed their opponent. They had actually put up a fight up until the very end. But their effort hadn’t paid off since Shiratorizawa took the win in the end anyway.

It had also been quite stressful since you could feel two different pair of eyes on you, and they both made you feel different emotions. 

Whenever Wakatoshi’s eyes were on you, you’d smile and wave, trying your best to cheer him on. Your thoughts would always go back to the conversation with Tendou’s girlfriend. Whenever Tendou’s eyes were on you, you felt guilt and goosebumps, but also really giddy. It was all so confusing, and you felt so much happiness once the match finally ended. 

 When the crowds began to exit the building and it was okay for you to approach the team, you walked over to Ushijima and Tendou with his girlfriend. 

“Congrats Satori!! You did amazing, baby!!” She happily wrapped her arms around him as she jumped up and down. You stared for a few seconds before his eyes met yours, making you look away. 

“Congratulations, Toshi. It was so entertaining seeing you out there in your element, you did really good!” You smiled, before looking over at Tendou again, who still had his eyes on you, no longer hugging his girlfriend.

“..and Congrats to you too, Tendou. It was nice to finally see you out there again.” 

He smiled softly at your words, opening his arms and pulling you into a quick hug. 

There it was. The touch you had craved so much. You hugged back for a bit but pulled away soon after, smiling back at him before turning to Wakatoshi. 

"Shall we head back to the dorms now?"

He gave you a small smile, nodding. The exhaustion was clear now that he was up close, but he still managed to look so pretty.

You broke away your gaze and walked outside with Wakatoshi, Tendou and his girlfriend following. As soon as you stepped outside, you couldn't help but shiver at the strong wind that hit all of you, welcoming you back to reality.

It was quite clear that you were cold, and Wakatoshi didn't hesitate to take off his sweater and drape it around you. The heat that rushed to your cheeks, along with his sweater, seemed to warm you up instantly.

Your eyes met Tendou's girlfriend's gaze, and she simply smiled, her eyes screaming I TOLD YOU SO, YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME.

That conversation had honestly messed you up. You were now hyper aware of everything Toshi did whenever he was around you. Any kind acts he did, such as this one, had you burning up at a concerning speed.

"Thank you, Toshi.." you said, looking down and gladly wrapping his sweater around you to take in all the warmth. It smelled like him too, and that oddly helped you calm down even more.

Throughout all of this, Tendou simply stood and stared, so confused as to when exactly you and Ushijima had gotten this close. Since when did you wear his sweaters? Since when did you ever go to volleyball games instead of going to work? Since when did Y/N and Ushijima ever talk like this? It was all too much to take in. Especially when you two excused yourself, and Ushijima was walking you to your dorm.

"Aren't they cute?" His girlfriend said with a soft hum as they both watched you walk away.

"Huh? Who?"

"Y/N and Ushijima, silly. Who else?"

"Oh."

"Ah. Walk me home, silly boy! It's getting cold."

It indeed was getting cold. He blamed the cold weather on the fact that his joints felt stiff, and he felt this random pain in his chest at the sight. He'd felt that pain earlier when he found out you weren't there to see him.

Had it really been that long since you two had talked? Had it been long enough for you to find a replacement for him? Ushijima, of all people?

You two were doing the things Tendou used to do with you. You would wear his sweater, you would make an effort to come to his games. That was something you two did. That was-

He felt a small hand intertwine with his and lead him away from the gym, and towards the girl dorms. Much to think about. He knew he had new material to overthink about tonight.

°•°•°•°•°

You were laying down on your bed with Wakatoshi's sweater wrapped around you, eyes closed as you thought about everything that had happened over the past month. Conversations you'd had with certain people.

Ushijima Wakatoshi. A sweetheart who had been there for you to comfort you and cheer you up while you cried over Tendou Satori. Your best friend who had a girlfriend and clearly did not return your feelings.

Ushijima Wakatoshi. A friend, that you were perhaps starting to see as more than just a friend. Screw Tendou's girlfriend for getting the stupid idea into your head in the first place. It had been a week since that conversation, yet you couldn't stop thinking about the What Ifs.

No matter how much you thought of Wakatoshi, you couldn't help but worry that this was a distraction in order to pretend you didn't have feelings for Tendou anymore. You were sure you did. A crush on Tendou Satori isn't something you get over so fast. But you perhaps also had feelings for Ushijima.

The thought alone made you blush and bury your face into his sweater, taking in the wonderful scent that was Ushijima Wakatoshi.

It took a few more outings for you to confirm your feelings for Wakatoshi. Ranging from having lunch or dinner with him, to spending time at each other's dorms and just doing domestic things together. It all reassured you that he wasn't a rebound and that you weren't using him to get over Tendou.

There was one last step to contentment. Not feeling bitterness, but rather happiness when seeing Tendou, with or without his girlfriend.

One day in particular, you watched as he walked her to her dorm, hand in hand, smiling happily with each other. There was a small smile on your lips at the sight. And the only emotion other than happiness was sadness. You missed Tendou. As your best friend. Not as a love interest. You missed your best friend.

You figured you'd get him back soon, since you had finally gotten over him, and now had your eyes set on someone else, Toshi.

Your heart began to beat just a little faster at the thought alone. But it began to beat faster at the thought of having Tendou back in your life as well. Everything is going to fall back into place. Soon.

°•°•°•°•°

Although you had been hit with yet another awakening moment, you still hadn't reached out to Tendou. And much to your dismay, neither had he. Which made it just a little bit easier to not feel guilty.

In regards to your newfound feelings towards Ushijima, you hadn't done anything about it, yet. You had been waiting for the right moment.

You were currently at his dorm, sat on his bed listening to him rant about how Goshiki had taken his desire to be like him a little too far. Apparently the first year had been trying to beat out Toshi's spikes, and ended up hurting himself in the process. You let out a small laugh as Toshi playfully rolled his eyes at the memory.

"The kid thinks you're perfect. Isn't it kind of flattering that he wants to be like you so much? You're his role model, Toshi." You hummed, quietly admiring as he seemed to be deep in thought.

"Well, it is flattering, but I don't want him to get hurt in the process. He can't be an ace if his wrist is sprained."

"You make a valid point, Toshi." You continued to quietly stare, and it didn't take long before his eyes were on you as well. He raised an eyebrow when you didn't look away, and you simply chuckled.

"What-? Do I have something on my face or..?"

He was gently patting around his mouth and cheeks, trying to feel around for anything.

The action made your lower your gaze to look at his lips. This didn't slip past him, but now he was painfully aware that the atmosphere was.. different.

It had been this way for a week or so, and it always sent shivers down his spine whenever things got too tense, unable to really do anything about it in fear of scaring you away.

You quietly stared at his lips, naturally a cute shade of pink. Once you tore your gaze away, you found him staring at you, gaze just as intense as your own. You gulped, suddenly starting to feel rather shy.

You sat up properly, now sitting directly in front of him. He didn't move away or anything, that was a good sign. You gently cupped his cheek, caressing it gently, another quick check for consent. It was now that you finally noticed the pretty blush that covered his cheeks. It was a sight you wished you got to see more often.

Maybe now you would.

With a bit of hesitation, you leaned in. It didn't take long for him to meet you halfway. Once you were actually kissing, it felt like a huge weight had been taken off your shoulders. It felt like finally letting out a breath you had been holding. His lips were soft, just slightly chapped, and the kiss was nice and slow. You were both trying to figure out what the other liked.

It wasn't long until you felt his hand on your waist, asking if he could bring you closer, which you gladly obliged with. The kiss slowly became more and more intense. You could feel the longing as he pressed against your lips with his own, maybe he did feel the same after all. No shit.

Kisses with Ushijima were soft, slow, yet passionate. They could also be intense, messy, and could cause a pool to form down there. They could also be interrupted by a tall redhead that wanted to ask his dormmate for some help with a certain friend. Wait what-?

You pulled away as soon as you heard the familiar voice, quietly trying to catch your breath, and trying not to freak the fuck out.

"Ushi I need- what the fuck?? Y/N???"

Toshi wiped at his lips and chin to seem more presentable, also looking over at you to make sure you were okay. You couldn't meet his gaze, extremely embarrassed and you couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, Satori. I should've locked the door." Toshi said, as if walking in on your friends making out was something that was completely normal and happened at least twice a week.

"I'm- since when the fuck were you guys a thing? Y/N what the fuck? Seriously? I-" he couldn't even form a proper sentence, too stunned by what he'd just seen. But most importantly, it hurt. It hurt so much and he didn't even know why. Though he might have an idea.. but it wasn't exactly pleasant.

".. I'll let you two talk?" Wakatoshi said as he stood, you hesitantly reached for his hand, not sure if you could face him yet, but his eyes gave you all the reassurance you needed, so you let go of his hand, watching as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone with Tendou.

Neither of you spoke at first, but it didn't take long for Tendou's curiosity to force him to speak. "Since when?"

"Since when what?"

"Since.. since when were you guys a thing?"

You didn't know. Since a few minutes ago, you supposed. "This is the first time I kiss him. I'm not sure.."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" His tone sounded so hurt, but you didn't dare to look up at him. You were hurting too. He hadn't reached out to you either.

"It's not like you tried to reach out to me either. I figured you were too busy with your girlfriend to want to interact with me."

"I could say the same thing about you. You're too busy kissing Toshi's ass to even talk to me. You think I don't see you avoid me in the hallways? Don't think I see you slipping away from my grasp, sneaking off to classrooms so you don't have to hang out with me?"

"Then if you saw it all happen, why the fuck didn't you do anything about it?"

You finally looked up, anger in your tone, but tears were threatening to spill and leaving a stinging sensation in your eyes. He seemed at a loss for words, and he hesitated before responding.

"I.. I don't know." He admitted, feeling his own eyes welling up with tears. "Fuck. I don't know, Y/N." His fists were clenched out of frustration. He didn't know why he was so angry, he knew he was at fault too. It wasn't just you.

"Me neither, Tendou." Your plain response made him fume even more.

"Why didn't you tell me you were into Ushijima? Why'd you have to distance yourself? I wouldn't have hated you for it. Why did you have to put our friendship at stake, Y/N? Do you know how long its been since I've had a proper fucking conversation with you?"

He was ranting at this point, breathless as he made accusation after accusation.

"I didn't like him before. This is all new to me, Tendou. I didn't mean to put our friendship at stake. I just couldn't fucking stand hanging out with you when.. when she was around."

Your response caught him off guard. He stared at you incredulously. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

It was embarrassing, having to admit your feelings, but you had already let it slip out.

"Y/N? What the hell?"

"I liked you, Tendou. When you asked me to help you get with her, I liked you. And it hurt so much, but it didn't matter that I was hurting because I knew if you got the girl, you'd be happy. That's all I wanted. But once you actually got the girl, it hurt too much. Watching you do with her what you did with me. Watching you kiss her and hold her hand. I couldn't stick around to watch it without slowly falling apart myself."

Letting it all out had you feeling like another weight was slowly being taken off you shoulders. He looked so confused, taken aback by the new revelation of your feelings, something that had been unknown to him for multiple months now.

Knowing you felt that way towards him made his chest hurt. It made him feel extreme guilt for making you play along. But it also made him love you even more, because you'd done all that just because you knew he'd be happy in the end.

He resonated heavily with how you felt, watching him do what you two used to do, but now with his girlfriend. He had felt that when he watched you and Ushijima slowly getting closer, and now actually sharing a kiss.

"That's why I distanced myself. Because if I didn't, I'd break, Tendou. It hurt so much. But.. I finally got better. I'm finally getting better. Wakatoshi was there for me, he taught me how to get over you and heal from my unrequited feelings."

"Y/N I'm so sorry."

"Let me finish Tendou.. please." He simply nodded, no longer able to hold back any of his tears as he listened to you talk. You weren't able to hold them back either.

"I used to find it difficult to see you with her, but now I feel genuine happiness. It makes me happy that you're happy with her. And.. I miss you, Tendou. Not as a love interest, but as my best friend. I miss you so fucking much."

A sob escaped your lips at the confession, you tried to stop but you couldn't. You had finally let it all out. You felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you, and you recognized that embrace to belong to your best friend.

You were both sobbing now as you held each other tightly. Both for different reasons. You were afraid of losing him because of everything you'd just confessed, which explained the tight grip you had on him. The tight grip he had on you could be explained as a fear of losing you too, or more like the realization that he'd lost you before he even had you.

His feelings for you, that he was painfully unaware of prior to a few weeks ago, had grown only to be crushed by the realization that he was too late. You had actually moved on now. He'd lost his chance with you, but it didn't have to all end. He missed you too. So much. And though he was sure he had romantic feelings towards you, he knew it also was heavily driven by jealousy and fear of losing you to Wakatoshi.

But a new revelation, the revelation that you didn't have to pick and neither did he, gave him hope for your friendship.

"I missed you too.. so much, Y/N. I'm so sorry for being such a shitty friend. Please forgive me. I love you so so so much. Please.." he sobbed quietly as he held you. You simply nodded, unable to speak without your voice shaking and being interrupted by sobs.

"I.. I forgive you, Satori. Please forgive me too? I could've definitely handled things better.."

He shook his head, hating the fact that you still felt guilty. "You did nothing wrong, Y/N. But I forgive you. As long as you forgive me, and you tell me that we'll be okay. That I won't lose you because of this."

"You won't ever lose me, Satori. You're stuck with me forever, remember?"

He smiled at that, eyes welling with tears all over again. "You're stuck with me forever too. You're not getting rid of me so easily."

That made you laugh as you hugged him even tighter. "I wasn't planning on it."

Your shoulders had been freed of any excess weight that had been putting you down over the past few months. You had finally reached Contentment. For real this time.

You were able to stare at Tendou and feel only platonic love for him. You were happy for him and his girlfriend, who clearly made him happy. You were happy with someone else now. Someone who had been there for you for the longest without you even realizing it. Someone who deserved the world and the stars, and you'd be willing to provide it for him.

You had your best friend back, you had told him the truth. There was no secrets or any grudges held towards each other. And you had a lover now.

Contentment. This is what it really felt like.

°•°•°•°•°

You were sat back at the lunch tables where this had all started. Ushijima at your side, and your best friend across from you with his girlfriend.

Happiness, is the only thing you felt as you leaned your head against Toshi's shoulder and laughed at a story Tendou was telling, his girlfriend adding in commentary here and there that only added to the humor of the whole story.

She was lovely, and so pleasant to be around. You figured it was your jealousy that had made her seem so unpleasant back then. But now all you felt was euphoria. You had everything you could've ever wanted.

You had Tendou back, you had a new friend that you could talk about almost anything with, and you had Toshi.

Your life was filled with the same jokes, the same hugs and nights where you'd binge watch multiple seasons at once, accompanied by your best friend and multiple snacks. Full of a happy Tendou that you got to support more often now.

Your life was filled with a familiar face in different classes, someone you could talk with about anything. Full of a supportive girlfriend, perfect for your best friend. It sucked that it had taken you so long to realize that.

Your life was filled with a loving companion. Soft kisses, the warmest cuddles, the most attentive and caring boyfriend. Full of hand holding, sweaters, hugs, and support. You couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. Wakatoshi was literally perfect.

Life was bliss.

It was obvious for Tendou that you were happy now. He watched as you laughed at his jokes, an overwhelming feeling of pride flowing through his chest. He watched with a small smile as Toshi gently cupped your cheeks and pressed the softest kiss onto your lips. Watched as your eyes fluttered shut and the blush invaded your cheeks. Watched as the electricity flowed through you, the attraction between you two quite obvious for anyone nearby.

He might have been late to realize his own feelings for you, but the only thing that mattered now was that you were happy with how everything had ended. And he was happy too. He had an amazing girlfriend, and two amazing best friends that were happy together.

Maybe in the next life, if there was any, he'd meet you again and he'd realize his feelings sooner. Maybe in the next life, he'd have an actual chance with you. But for now, in this life, he'd be happy just being your friend.

Contentment.

A state of contentment has finally been reached by both parties. This is what contentment really feels like.

A/N: Hello!! Okay first of all.. this is really long, I’m so sorry- I got carried away. Second of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the support I received in the first part. I didn't expect all that support (if any, really) SO thank you again <3 Third of all, it took me so long to put this out because I read this Tendou x reader fic and I felt so guilty because poor baby Tendou deserves love and I’m going out of my way to write angst?? It didn’t sit right with me. But here you go! I really hope everyone (especially those who asked for a part 2, I hope I didn’t disappoint) liked this! Thanks again for all the support. 

Taglist: @missalienqueen (I’m SO sorry lmao I LIED about Tendou fluffy ending kinda </3 forgive me. @nim-rose !! These are the people who asked me personally to tag them, so if you’d like to be tagged next time, just let me know!

[ayurileopardsdream]

If you had told me sooner - Chapter 1

Description: What should have happened in the Fortress of Solitude when Lena told Kara she knew the Supergirl secret, Season 5 Episode 7. And then it immediately just gets off track. And then it turns into a musical. And then it finally gets gay.

Author’s note: This story is also posted on AO3. Only my discord friends saw this coming ahahahaha~

[Supergirl Season 5 episode 7 - when they’re fighting in the fortress of Solitude]

After Mxy happened with It’s a Super Life. Kara went back to that part, had to relive that horrible time all over again. The whole “If you forgive me, I’ll be there for you. If you work with Lex, I’ll stop you just as I would any other villain.” Yeah that? No. Don’t like that, didn’t happen. So onward with the gay.

Rating: T

Words: 5,550

Series: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Au: 

Characters / Pairing: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Genre: romance, hurt & comfort, fluff, angst.

Link to the AO3 copy: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22971949/chapters/54915007

The universe says that some things cannot be fixed with hugs. Kara Zor-El Danvers believes otherwise. Standing there while Lena yelled at her and holding that bomb Myriad thing, all Kara did was contemplate her entire life, her entire friendship. You see when mxy was sending Kara back in time to try and find a point to properly confess to Lena, Kara realized that when everything went to hell, there is no better way to fix a fight than with a hug.

Lena was yelling that she wasn't a villain. That Kara should have told her and not deceived her like everyone else. That she thought they were best friends, Kara should have trusted her.

Kara knew what she had to do even if Lena didn't trust her or like her or care for her anymore.

Kara flew at Lena, knocking the Myriad bomb out of her hands, hugging her tightly but safely for her strength.

"Kara what- What are you doing?! Get off of me!" Lena yelled struggling to no avail to get the kryptonian off of her.

"No!" Kara yelled, surprising the upset Luthor.

"I know I hurt you! That I betrayed you, that I deceived you. I should have told you and I didn't! I didn't want to put you in harm's way and I couldn't find the right time! Don't you know how hard it is to not tell you things? The number one villain rule is to target the loved ones of a superhero! Someone could have, would have come after you and I know you can handle yourself but I couldn't risk it! Damnit Lena! I love you! More than a friend, than a best friend! You're the most important person in my whole life! I know you're upset but I'm not about to deceive you like everyone else in your life has! I'm sorry Lex told you first, but he told you to get between us, to ruin us and it worked! He's a villain! Taking my loved ones away!"

Pulling away, Kara was shaking, sniffling, crumbling. It was.. really sad.

"If you hate me... then fine. I can't change your mind. I'm so so sorry Lena... I won't ever bother you ever again." And with that, Kara turned to leave, too depressed to fly. She was literally walking out of the fortress of solitude. Leaving Lena there to stare in shock and disbelief at what she'd heard. Kara... loved her... and watching her leave like that, then looking at Myriad on the floor... something ached in her chest and it wasn't hate.

"Kara wait!"

This was ridiculous. Love? Kara? With her ? Lena Luthor. Lena Luthor . A super in love with a Luthor. 

Lena’s over-intelligent brain was going through everything, every little thing. Since they’d got here, no, their entire friendship. She was more than sane enough to go through their.. 2, 3 years of friendship, over-analyzing everything. And then, watching Kara’s sad, shaking, hunched form as she walked out of the Fortress of Solitude, and Lena’s cold, frozen, stone, locked iron heart unlocked, melted again. She could almost cry again, but for another reason. Guilt? Apology? At times like this, before... everything... she wanted to comfort Kara, hold her, rub her back, hug her, tell her it was okay, that everything was okay. But… she couldn’t. Not like this.

A few minutes of more thinking, honestly, regretfully, Lena put Myriad back where it belonged. She sighed with a clench of her fists, before finally turning and making her way out of the Fortress of Solitude, finding Kara actually sitting on the ground, well, ice, knees to her chest, crying. It broke Lena’s heart, but then she remembered everything else. Killing Lex Luthor for her. The secret she’d learned from the enemy. She couldn’t shake that. Regardless of Kara’s reasons.

She was broken from her thoughts with Kara looking up at her, tears streaming down her cheeks, eyes risen sadly but a little hopeful. Wanting to apologize again, but Lena held up a hand.

“I think we should be apart for some time. I really need to think about things.” She said in her serious Luthor voice, the one usually reserved for depressing, frustrating, irritation business matters.

Kara broke Lena’s heart yet again when she sniffled and nodded her head, crumpling her form if she could do so anymore. 

Giving an almost sympathetic sigh, Lena called for a pickup from her very discreet security, one of the few, very few good things that came from Lex. She would wipe the pilot’s mind of this place later from the mind control technology she'd gotten with that Martian's evil brother. Surprisingly enough, as the jet appeared, Lena went towards it, and upon ascending, in a soft voice she knew only Kara could hear, she looked back, not looking at her directly, and spoke.

“Kara, I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.” And like that, the Luthor was gone, out of sight, headed back to her safe spaces in L-Corp, National City.

And another surprising thing, Kara watched her leave, disappear, and as the paragon she was...

Kara actually had a little hope.

——————————————————————————————–

It had been 4 days so far. Just 4 days.

Kara’s POV.

The first, Kara sad and moping, too depressed to move, watch tv, even touch her favorite ice cream, Alex and Nia came over to comfort her and make her feel better, practically having to shove Kara’s favorite potstickers down her throat because Kara refused to eat. Get out of bed. She was super deadweight and even though the women wanted to complain, they knew Kara was hurting badly, and they had to give her sympathy. Eyes droopy, down to the floor, they were surprised Kara kept her breathing up, she’d forgotten to breathe before. Unfortunately they had work so they couldn’t care for Kara long. Kara’s friends made the rounds, each visiting her, taking care of her. 

The second day Kara got around to caring for herself, just doing little things. Her heart, her whole body ached with sadness and her brain never quit once to torture her of the previous events. But at least she was mobile again. She managed to get a bit of food and water into her system without extra hands, but still, her body ached at the emotional loss of her bestest friend.

The third day, the world started to panic ridiculously, as it always did. Where was Supergirl? Why had she been missing? She was always seen around National City at least twice a day by someone, so where had the heroine gone? Of course the news started getting around. CatCo denied and refused anything about it, not having an opinion. Everyone there also knew of Kara’s absence, the excuse being she had a really bad cold and would miss a while, using her saved sick days even when working for Cat Grant. But alas, James, Winn, Lena… knew the truth about the situation, but they didn’t say anything. The guys didn’t speak a word to Lena about it, as it wasn’t their place.

The fourth day, Kara would joke to say the city was on fire because Supergirl didn’t come to put out the flames. At least the city’s fire and police departments were getting their exercise. Who cares! Supergirl deserved some time off. But trying to turn her super hearing off, Kara stared out the windows of her apartment, sighing sadly, wishing and waiting for the phone call she hoped for every day. But it didn’t come. She practically had her phone on full blast, scaring the daylights out of herself if someone else called her. But she swore it was worth it...

——————————————————————————————–

Lena’s POV

The dumbest 4 days of her life.

Burying herself in L-Corp work she’d put off with all the.. cringe.. Superhero work. Well, now was a good time as any to get caught up. She awkwardly remembered she was a lawyer before all cape-wearing hell broke loose. Oh well. 

Unlike Kara, Lena didn’t have too many friends... She got Brainy as a part-time assistant since her prized tech had sacrificed itself, and with that her original assistant too. Well... she should really get around to making friends at some point.

Her first day was quiet, lonely. Barely ate, kept up her hydration with a mix of water and alcohol. Which wasn’t too good either. But she was getting through paperwork. It was calm.

Day 2 was less so. More work, finally getting food since her stomach was torturing her. But alas, quiet again. She was determined to be busy, to not think too much. It had only been 2 days.

And then it were 3.

Day 3, she was more lax. Work pretty much done, Brainy being ordered by the very much alive Lex Luthor to keep his sister alive while she secluded herself with the disappointing contemplation of “pitiful friendships with worthless people, especially supers” Lex had said.

Lena decided to watch some tv after finishing her work, grumbling when it meant she didn’t have much to do now. Upon seeing the news, the regular channel her tv usually stayed on, there were worried reports about a “missing Supergirl.” Lena sighed, knowing it was probably because of their... fight. Knowing the Kara side of things, the blonde was probably holed up in her loft, crying and either only eating comfort foods, or nothing at all. The small part of humanity, Lena believed, almost felt bad. But no. Kara had betrayed her. Lied to her, deceived her for so long. She wouldn’t be changed. She was hurt. So she rolled her eyes at the tv, and the rest of the day she caught up on some Netflix, getting as comfortable as she could in the big modern office.

And Day 4 for Lena, she was bored. Still hurt. But now, because of her copious amounts of free time, she decided to see from a 3rd point of view, her memories. And thankfully she could remember each and every one clearly.

The longer she stayed in her head, reviewing everything, the more her heart sank. All the lies, all the secrets from Kara... all the nice things Kara did for her, the way Kara looked at her when she thought Lena wasn’t looking... A pit began to form in her stomach, slightly guilty. And because the contacts allowed her to morph imagination into reality... her mind went faster than she intended it to, because when she suddenly found herself pinning a certain superhero to her desk, both faces flush, Kara’s stomach against the cool glass and metal, and Lena leaned right up against her curves, gripping her hair and whispering something she couldn’t make out into the shell of the blonde’s ear, well... 

Lena immediately turned the contacts off, gasping for air with hands tightly gripping the chair’s arms. What the hell was that? Was she... with Kara... and they were... She shook her head dramatically, opting not to do that again. Damnit, now she felt cool under her dress. What the hell. Damnit. It was probably just an accident in her head, mind wandering a little too far being cooped up in this place for half a week. So she decided to go out, go home, get some sleep. And not have weird sexy dreams of mounting National City’s finest.

The days after that were long and dry. Supergirl eventually got back out, flying, helping, saving. She was on the news yet again and when reporters asked what happened to her, she said honestly, into the camera “I really hurt a friend. I didn’t mean to, but I did. So I’ve been trying to put things behind me, accept the fact that this probably broke our friendship, and if there was even a chance of anything more, that’s gone too. Sometimes things happen, and... you can’t fix it. You can apologize as much as you’d like, but in the end, the one who was hurt the most, it’s up to them. If they want to forgive you, or forget you. Whatever she chooses… I accept.” And then, as one super did, she took off to the next objective.

Lena occasionally saw a blue and red blur through the sky when she looked up, making her sigh, roll her eyes and look away. And upon turning on the news again, watching the interview, Lena grumbled, trying to rub the pink out of her face. Why was her heart racing. Why did her chest ache? She didn’t love Kara. Not like that. Jesus, get it together Lena. You were stone cold, an icy glacier.

So why.. Was stupid Kara Danvers… suddenly melting her heart?

——————————————————————————————–

“... And I don’t know why I keep having..” She paused, looking around the little restaurant her and Sam were at, as if feeling she was being watched because of course she was, but Lena sighed and rubbed her temples. “ Odd dreams of her.”

“Odd as in?”

“You know what I mean, do not make me say it out loud.” Lena growled, squinting her eyes as she tapped on the menu book in frustration.

“Have you maybe considered that you li-”

“No. I already told you what she did.”

“Lena.” Sam called, having serious eyes and hands on the other’s. “I know she hurt you, I’d be hurt too but you have to understand that when people have… abilities, they become a symbol. A big huge beacon that everyone can see, can follow, like a lighthouse. But sometimes, people get offended, threatened by such a beacon. It’s too bright, too helpful, too kind, whatever. They want to tear it down, hurt it. Destroy it. And if this beacon has anything it cares about, finding that care and tearing it down too, can ruin the lighthouse that much faster. She did it to really protect you. She wanted to tell you, and she just couldn’t find the right time, because what with your mother, and Lex, and Crisis, and even my.. Crazy super side... when was there a real opportunity to sit down, take a deep breath, and unbox another massive thing alongside all of that?”

Listening carefully, staring into Sam’s eyes, once Lena completely understood, she looked incredibly pissed off, which made Sam laugh right away.

“You know I hate it when you’re right.”

“Oh I know, and it’s hilarious. So what are you going to do?”

“Well first I’m going to drink a lot of red wine, get something to eat… and figure out how I feel about her.”

Giving another laugh, Sam patted Lena’s hands before pulling away. “So, you forgive her?”

“I... I guess. I’ll have to have a long, long talk with her.”

“So that’s an indefinite yes.”

“Yes…”

“And?”

Sigh. “I haven’t dated as much as everyone else, alright. I don’t even know how I’d approach this.”

Sam contemplated, while waving a waiter over, taking their orders and then going off. “Why don’t you call up a bunch of Kara’s friends, to get advice not just on her, but dating women in general. From what I hear, a lot of Kara’s friends are queer.”

Lena blinked, before groaning. Gosh. She would have, what, 4, 5 women making fun of her for being a grumpy Luthor with a crush on a super rather than a grudge. This was going to be great.

“We’re gonna need a whole bottle tonight, Sam.”

——————————————————————————————–

And so, the sun was in the middle of the sky, as 6 women sat in park benches all around. It was almost mortifying for Lena. Alex, Kara’s sister. Nia Noll, Kara’s super friend and ally within the not-so-newly-shapen CatCo. Then Sam, Lena’s one real friend, surprisingly enough. Then the worst of them. Well, worst for Lena’s conflicted mood. Alex had suggested and then carried through calling some more super friends for Lena to really get a good view and grip on the thoughts, lifestyle and feelings of actual queer women. Not that Alex wasn’t up to it, she just needed some more help. Sara Lance, and her adoring partner Ava Sharpe. Upon dating a super, Ava knew all about… everything. The two never kept secrets, so everyone was brought up to speed about the situation. 

“So, yes… I guess.. I’ve come around to put an end to the anger I have for Kara, but I just wanted some outside opinions on-” Lena began, before being cut off.

“Dating women.” Sara interrupted, with that little gay smirk.

Lena snapped her head with embarrassed fury towards Sara, before fixing her skirt as she did and huffing.

“I don’t love her. I just wanted some… advice on how to deal with her feelings.” Lena said matter-of-factly.

“Because you want to return them.” Sara said again, having a shit-eating grin on her face. Ava gave a little laugh, patting her lover’s arm, hand and shoulder.

“Lena it’s completely normal and natural to feel this way.” Ava assured her, and everyone gave cute little nods together.

“Yeah besides, with how much Kara talks about you, I’m surprised this is only happening now and not ages ago.” Nia added, with Alex giving a knowing smile.

“Gosh, how my sister finally accepted her feelings and would just drone on and on about how much she cared about you. It might come as a shock but she was really stressed out all the time, wanting to tell you her secret but knowing you were too busy with the Luthor stuff so she kept quiet, not wanting to bother you.”

Oh… wow. Lena swallowed, trying to ignore the continued growing guilt in her gut. Kara was so upset, so stressed out, about her secret, her own problems and life but she shoved it all down for Lena. For Lena… because Kara loved Lena, not just platonically, but romantically. Maybe even…

“No!” Lena shouted, standing from her bench, startling all the other women.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Then she sighed, releasing some of the tension that had been built in her system. 

“Gods... what’s the matter with me? You’d think a girl would learn...” 

Suddenly she started singing as the sun began to set, and all the other women looked at each other, smirking at themselves and then Lena.

“If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that..”

The brunette picked up a flower, twirling it in her fingers before tossing it away.

“No person’s worth the aggravation… that’s ancient history been there, done that.

The women began to stand, all in a row next to each other before they too began to sing at the forlorn Lena Luthor.

“Who’d you think you’re kidding? She’s the Earth and Heaven to you, try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through ya,”

“Oh nooo!”

“Girl you can’t conceal it, we know how you’re feelin’, who you’re thinking of!” Sam picked up the flower Lena had tossed, eagerly waving it within Lena’s view but she swatted it away with her hand, pacing away slowly, eyes half-lidded before she continued singing.

“Ohhhh, no chance, no way, I won’t say it no no.”

“You swoon, you sigh, why deny it oh-oh.” The women sang, crowding Lena with big grins, but again the Luthor waved them off.

“It’s too cliche, I won’t say I’m in love.” She means, really? A Luthor and a Super? No way. It was impossible. Their kinds were enemies. There was no way she was in love with Kara. Regardless of how the other felt.

The other woman cooed and sung in the background, following Lena as the gorgeous sunset brushed her face. They moved through National City Park, Lena unconsciously moving to the city’s large hero statue. The women all smirked even more if they could, they knew better and would continue to argue.

“I thought my heart had learned its lesson” (from loving and trusting people close to her, that it was a mistake) “it feels so good when you start out... My head is screaming ‘Get a grip, girl!’ unless you’re dying to cry your heart out, ohhhh oh!” Lena sang out, even putting a hand on her chest with the other extended, spinning herself and twirling as she belted out the tune.

“You keep on denyin’ who you are and how you’re feelin’, and baby we’re not buying, hun we saw you hit the ceiling! Face it like a grownup, when’re you gonna own up that you’ve-”

“Got!” Sara sang out.

“Got,” Added Nia.

“Got it ba-ad!” They sang in unison, all facing Lena with pointed fingers at her.

Lena stared with a startled look, before sighing, turning away and running a hand through her head. “Woahhhhh.”

“No chance, no way, I won’t say it, no no.”

“Give up, give in-” they sang, as Lena suddenly found herself up against the large stone statue of National City’s own Supergirl, making a power pose. A goofy lovestruck grin was plastered on her face, imagining those strong arms embracing her, holding her with love like nothing else mattered.

“Check the grin, you’re in loooove.” Sam called out to her with a snarky smile, insisting in song that Lena was beyond head-over-heels for Kara Zor-El. 

Upon hearing such a call-out, her grin disappeared, she hopped down from the statue, and shook her arms away from her in an “Absolutely not!” fashion.

“This scene, won’t play. I won’t say I’m in loooooooooove-”

“You’re doing flips! Read our lips, YOU’RE IN LOVE!!”

“You’re way off base, I won’t say it,”

Almost giving into Lena’s boasting, they sang a line of agreement, shaking their heads in unison while Lena sang her line. “She won’t say in love..”

“Get off my case, I won’t say it!” Lena half-sang/half-growled, glaring at the background singers with eyes ablaze with… denial.

Then the group grinned and moved to sit Lena down on what felt like the lap of a second stone statue. Lena instinctively wrapping her arms around the neck of the oddly smaller stone superhero statue with her eyes closed, before glaring at the group again.

“Girl don’t be proud, it’s okay, you’re in loooove.” They sang again, Ava giving Lena the flower she’d previously picked and discarded, before all of them shrugging, waving goodbye, and walking together out of the park as they finished their background singing.

“Ohhhhh.... at least out loud…” Lena began, curling close to the statue, holding the flower against the statue’s neck, not realizing one of the arms had gone under her legs, and was lifting her into the air, 

“I won’t say I’m in.... loooooove…”

“Sha-la-la-la-la-la, hahhhh…” The women sighed and swooned as they left the scene, and once the song was over, Lena opened her eyes to get a grip on herself, before screaming in surprise more than terror upon seeing she was way in the air over the park, in the arms of none other than her supposed nemesis, Kara Zor-El.

“I suppose we should talk about things, huh…” She laughed awkwardly.

——————————————————————————————–

Lena insisted they go to Lena’s penthouse, the apartment building closest to L-Corp while still being away enough to separate Lena’s work from her private life, if she even had one.

Her place was so white, so pristine, so modern. Kara, in her Supergirl outfit, landed on Lena’s balcony, gently putting her down.

“Were you following me? Did you know I’d be out there?” Lena asked right away, crossing her arms from leaning against the doorframe, blocking Kara from really entering her home.

“No! I wasn’t! Alex texted me during your uh,”

“Musical escapades,” Lena offered, rolling her eyes.

“Right, uh, yeah she told me to come down, said it was a good time to talk to you.”

Jeez, the Danvers sure were a team.

“Your song was really lovely. I didn’t know you could sing so well.”

Lena gave a playful smirk, with those mischievous eyes. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Supergirl.” She teased, before her face went serious, and she turned away, chucking her head a little to the side to silently invite Kara in.

“Do you have spare clothes? It.. feels a bit weird seeing you like this.” Lena murmured, hugging her arms to her chest as she sat down on the white couch.

“Oh! Uh, I’ll get changed hold on-” Kara flew to her place as fast as she could, changed, and flew back in a simple light blue blouse and dark blue jeans. Lena offered her one of the comfy white chairs across from the couch. Awkwardly Kara sat down, wringing her hands or fiddling with her glasses as she did when she was nervous. Lena almost felt bad. Maybe just a bit.

With a sigh, Lena got comfy before looking at Kara, then she sighed a little again. Gosh... Kara was so beautiful. Wait hold on. They were here to talk. That was all.

“So.. Kara. If that's even your real name?”

Kara looked incredibly offended, her face painted with hurt at such a first question, but she answered kind of angry. “Really?” Kara pouted, crossing her arms.

Lena shrugged with a smile, one Kara loved so much. Upon seeing a smile growing on Kara’s face, she looked away before making eye-contact. The seriousness was going to come by.

“Tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kara looked guilty, looking down, giving that whole vibe as if someone kicked a puppy. “I... I don’t know… I just.. I could never find the right moment, and then..”

“And then I found out by myself.”

“Right…”

“Because I was busy with all my stress, and the labs, and Lex.”

Kara visibly cringed.

“Being a Luthor, and my mother, the office, having CatCo at one point..”

Kara nodded, eyes full of guilt, sorrow, as she kept agreeing. Whether it was just to acknowledge or she really was agreeing with everything, nobody really knew.

Lena sighed again, running her hands against her temples, this time her sigh felt guilty and Kara actually lifted her head when she felt it. “I was so busy with everything, stressed out, with all the drama and the danger, you were always there for me when you could be. When you weren’t saving the world, when you weren’t helping other people, when you weren’t being Supergirl.”

Kara winced again, as if taking a kick to her actual form. She tried her hardest not to tear up because she felt so bad. But then suddenly there was a shadow over her face, and felt something on her cheek, it wasn’t just the tear that ran down… there… was something else. She looked up a little to see a thumb, then a hand, then an arm, and… Lena was standing over her, looking sad. Sympathetic.

Lena knelt down to be a little lower in height then Kara because of the chair, but then she painfully dragged the glass table over and sat on it to sit directly in front of Kara, doing her best to have her hand sit on Kara’s face the whole time. Once she was sitting, her other hand went on the left armrest. She wiped at Kara’s face with her thumb, stroking her cheek, and looking into those big sad blue puppy eyes, she nodded, and was almost relieved to give Kara permission to give her pale hand soft kisses to the muscle below the thumb, and her palm.

Kara was almost overjoyed at the touching, Lena’s sad eyes meant something. She put a hand over Lena’s, placing very light kisses upon the thumb’s base, and the palm, sliding it a little off her face to kiss the center of her hand but just as soon put the hand back on her face, taking a deep breath with a laugh when she heard Lena chuckle. This hand was practically her lifeline right now.

Lena smiled through sad eyes, but then frowned and Kara looked horrified like she’d just run over Lena’s dog. Oh Rao, what had she done to upset Lena now?!

“So… you kept the secret from me to protect me. That’s the truth, right?”

Kara nodded frantically, still holding the hand but even more delicately like if she really held onto it, it might break or turn to dust.

“You were keeping me safe from the possibility that someone might realize you have someone you care about, they’ll try to use that care against you. Right?”

Again Kara nodded, this time tears began to pool in her eyes and she did her best to be quiet, keep them in, not make a sound despite how much a whimper wanted to escape.

“You wanted to keep me safe. You couldn’t tell me your secret because you were too worried about all the other stress I had going on, you knew that this secret would just add to the load. You wanted to, as my best friend, but just couldn’t find the time? You absolutely wanted to but it just never found a time to come up. That’s the most part, right?” Lena was putting it into much better words than Kara ever could, not just because she couldn’t form a single word through the shaky sobs right now.

Then suddenly Lena stood, taking her hand with her. She moved the table back to its original spot. She moved away from Kara, back to the sofa on the other side of the table. Kara looked horrified. She’d done it. She’d ruined everything. Their friendship was over. Lena was going to kick her out, work with Lex, become her enemy. Kara morphed her face into the saddest thing ever possible, then she put her glasses onto the table to cover her eyes and face with her hands as she still tried hard, but the sobs, the whimpers were causing her to shake, almost violently, until-

“Come here Kara.”

Her sobs, her whimpers, her crying froze, and she looked up at Lena, who still had half-lidded eyes, but a small smile on her face. With knees to her chest, one arm on the closest arm rest, the other arm was extended out, patting the seat next to her. C’mere, girl.

Kara hesitated, as if this was a trick, a trap. In case Lena didn’t mean it, that this was how it ended, but then-

“Kara, please come here.”

With superspeed, Kara sat next to Lena, causing a slightly powerful gust of wind to go through but not enough to topple or damage anything. She sat on the couch with her back straight, legs pressed together, hands on her lap like the good girl she was, until Lena put her own legs on the floor, and reached over to drag Kara onto her lap. Kara was confused but she didn’t dare resist. Lena pulled Kara onto her lap, and with a grunt she moved herself and Kara to the middle of the couch so Kara could actually sit on Lena’s lap and also stretch her legs. Then Lena pulled Kara to her chest, wrapped Kara’s arms around Lena’s sides, and kind of gently forced them into a slightly awkward hugging position. Once Kara understood, she moved around a bit to make herself more comfortable, and as soon as Lena spoke again, giving her permission, Kara did exactly as she was told.

“It’s okay Kara. I forgive you. Let it all out. ”

And Kara did. She hugged Lena tight, not to hurt her, but a real genuine hug, and let out all her sobs onto Lena’s shirt. The brunette rolled her eyes but chuckled, rubbing Kara’s back and holding her close.

It was maybe an hour or two later. Poor puppy Kara had literally cried herself to sleep. And Lena seeing Kara without her glasses, she was definitely Supergirl. But wow had she cried a lot. And... wow... was she beautiful... Lena gently tucked a stray hair from Kara’s sleeping face, then leaned over to the table to get some very soft tissues, stroking them along Kara’s face, pressing a little roughly to wipe the dry tear streams, and any left over near her eyes. Then her stomach grumbled. She missed lunch and dinner. Thankfully she still had her phone on her so she ordered some food, enough for both of them if Kara woke up. And enough for breakfast. Thankfully she didn’t really need anything else till the delivery person arrived. And now back to Kara. Wow... she was so... so gorgeous... the gay in her wanted to place a kiss upon Kara’s sweet sleeping forehead… but the mature side of her knew she had to do something else.

Very carefully, Lena slid Kara’s slightly heavy body off of her to the other side of the couch, making her as comfy as Lena could. Giving her a pillow, covering her with a light blanket. Then… she did it. Lena leaned down, placing a soft kiss upon Kara’s forehead. Then admiring her sleeping face… wow. She would have and could have spent eternity watching that sleeping face, but thankfully, pizza was there. Lena went to pay, had a few slices as she put the boxes in her kitchen, and then watched a little bit of tv from her couch before wishing Kara a good night. Unbeknownst to them all, Kara smiled in her exhausted sleep. Finally, things were looking up for the most unpredictable pair of people.

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨