#sorry if that was annoying to read idk why the hellsite does this

[unclewaynemunson]

Rituals

(AO3 link)

The day after Thanksgiving, Eddie woke up at an unfairly early time because Steve was stirring next to him in bed.

'Whatayadoin?' he mumbled into his pillow. It sounded more like a groan than like an actual phrase, so he was kind of surprised when Steve actually replied to it.

'Can't sleep anymore, just gonna start my day early. You keep sleeping in, alright?' Steve moved to press a kiss onto his temple, and Eddie could smell his morning breath, which should probably be gross, but wasn't – not when it was Steve.

He drifted off almost immediately after Steve had quietly slipped out of the room, leaving him in the darkness. It wasn't anything odd; Steve was much more of a morning person than Eddie. Usually, on days they could both sleep in, he'd keep Eddie company while the sun crept its way upwards into the sky and Eddie kept dozing off and half waking up until around noon; he'd be reading a book – or attempting to do so – or listen to some music through his headphones. Sometimes, he'd just spend his morning watching Eddie sleep, listening to his deep and steady breathing or his soft snores, perfectly content doing nothing. But every now and then, there would be days when he'd get too restless; on those days, he'd get up to spend his morning hours working out and making sure there was an extra delicious breakfast ready for Eddie when he'd finally get out of bed.

This time it was a little bit different, though. It felt like only a few moments after Steve had left the room, when Eddie heard music coming from downstairs. That wasn't like Steve, ever mindful of Eddie needing his silence in the mornings. And it sure wasn't like Steve to listen to this kind of music. It didn't sound anything like the poppy top40 stuff he'd usually blast; it was too far away for Eddie to make it out properly, but he thought he heard violins, playing some chipper but clearly classical melody.

He rolled over to his left side and saw on the clock that it was only slightly past 7. With a groan, he turned around to his other side, trying to catch some more sleep and leave Steve doing whatever the fuck it was that he was doing downstairs. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off – that something might even be wrong – so after only a few minutes, he decided to let his restlessness get the best of him and got up. He put on Steve's letterman jacket over the washed-up tee he used as pajamas and descended the Harringtons' staircase while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He still had to get used to this big, fancy house; they didn't spend enough time in the place to make it feel like a home to Eddie, both of them preferring Wayne's cramped old trailer over the creepy desolated rooms in the big house.

Eddie followed the sound of the music until he came into the living room, where he encountered a kind of chaos which he was used to from himself, but definitely not from Steve.

'What the fuck?' he mumbled under his breath.

Cardboard boxes were scattered all around the room as if Steve was planning on moving away, while Steve himself was nowhere to be found.

Just when Eddie was about to peek into the box closest to him, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around to see Steve emerge from the door that went down into the basement, with another two big boxes balancing in his arms.

'Shit, sorry, did I wake you?'

'I heard the music,' Eddie admitted.

'Fuck, I'm so sorry Eddie!' Steve seemed a little bit more distressed about it than necessary and placed the boxes on the floor to turn down the classical music, even though that obviously wouldn't make much of a difference now that Eddie was already out of bed anyway.

'No problem, don't worry 'bout it,' said Eddie. 'But what the hell is going on here?'

Steve walked towards the window and looked out over the garden with his hands on his hips. It was looking kind of gloomy outside: the sun hadn't fully risen yet, wrapping everything in dark shadows, and the gray fall weather gave the mostly dead flowers a ghostly appearance.

'You can go back to sleep Eddie, it's fine. I didn't wanna bother you.'

Eddie took a few steps towards Steve, the fluffy carpet tickling the soles of his bare feet. 'You're never bothering me,' he said, while resting his hands on Steve's shoulders. They felt tense under the fabric of his jumper. 'And I'm already wide awake anyway.'

Steve still didn't look quite into his eyes. 'It's just... It's stupid, really.' He combed a hand through his hair, the way he always did when he was nervous or something was off.

'We always used to start decorating first thing in the morning after Thanksgiving – my mom and me, I mean. She'd put on the music and we'd get all the boxes from the basement while dad was God knows where, and it was – we were happy, the two of us together. She'd make me hot chocolate and watch me to make sure I wouldn't fall off the chair I climbed to get the lights up high. It was always ours, that morning after Thanksgiving – until she started following my dad around on all his business trips and forgot that she had a son waiting for her at home.' He grimaced and shrugged, as if he felt guilty for being bitter about it.

Eddie could picture it clear as day: a much younger, smaller Steve, with a bright smile on his chubby face as he disentangled a string of lights while his mother hovered around him, for once in a year succeeding in making him feel like everything was okay, like it was normal that his dad wasn't there with them.

'I know you don't celebrate Christmas,' Steve continued, 'You don't even like that shit, so I didn't wanna – I don't want you to feel obliged to help me with this. But I just – I still need to do it, every year, like I did it with her. The Messiah on full volume, getting all the boxes from the basement, hanging the lights everywhere... I'm sorry. I know it's pathetic.'

'Stevie...' Eddie took another step closer, wrapping Steve's hands in his own, until Steve finally looked into his eyes properly.

It broke Eddie's heart, thinking about Steve all alone in that house year after year, hanging the lights by himself, listening to music that wasn't his, trying to cling to a time that had long passed.

'Is that why you insisted on sleeping here last night?'

Steve nodded, still looking like he was ashamed.

'I know it seems weird and sad, but I – I actually love it. It's kinda cathartic, you know? It's like, my own stupid ritual.'

Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve's waist to pull him closer.

'You wanna decorate together?' he asked.

Steve huffed. 'I know you don't care about that.'

'Don't say that, man,' Eddie protested. 'I care about it if you care about it. I like all your weird rituals, okay? I wanna share those things with you. And I don't want you to be decorating all by yourself. I wanna do that shit together – it'll be fun, just like when you helped me and Wayne prepare for Sukkot at the trailer and Wayne wouldn't shut up about history and symbolism and all that shit.' He smiled fondly at the memory.

'So why don't you blast that – what was it called?'

'The Messiah. It's Handel.' A hesitant smile was starting to soften Steve's features.

'Blast your Handel. Let me help you untangle those lights. Put that tacky reindeer together while I make us some hot chocolate. And tell me all about how you used to decorate with your mom. 'Kay?'

'Are you sure?'

Eddie placed a kiss onto Steve's soft lips. 'Sounds like a perfect morning to me.'

🎄

 From that year on, they always decorated the house together, when the first sunlight crept over the horizon on the morning after Thanksgiving. After a few years, they stopped decorating the Harrington home, and instead filled their own place with lights and tacky reindeer decorations. Steve got Eddie a huge Menorah to make up for the abundance of Christmas crap, and Eddie bought something new to add to their collection every year – he made it a challenge to find something even uglier than the last time each year. One time, Steve got both of them matching Christmas hats, which became a recurring obligatory wardrobe item for their yearly decorating sessions. And every year, without fault, they blasted the King's College Choir's rendition of Handel's Messiah, until Eddie could hum along to the whole thing without even thinking about it. They managed to take the good memories of Steve's childhood and add something to it that was their own, making it even better. And Eddie loved it. He would never become a Christmas fan, but he loved this new ritual that was theirs. And maybe, one year in the future, he would dare to give Mrs. Harrington a call and invite her over for Christmas.

[tartareus]

Do you condone/ship incest? I was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. Except Incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction

hi there, friend, how do you do?

while i'm not particularly fond of anons (nex time you'd like to discuss something regarding my rules and/or character portrayal, i strongly encourage you to do so via ims - i don't bite, and if our points of view don't quite match? that's alright, i promise i'll leave you in peace :) ) for various reasons, i'm so glad you've read my rules (that probably makes you one of the few who follow me - at least i presume you do, idk - who has done so, so thank you so much!), i cannot stress enough how important they are to me. if i happen to follow you, rest assured that i have read yours (unless, ofc, i couldn't find one in your blog - in any case, if i happen to accidentally break one of yours, just hmu or gimme a nudge).

considering that you've asked more than one question, i'll answer to you in separate sections - needless to say that while i break it down your questions, the answer might become a little longer than usual (again, i'm sorry). i'll keep this tagged, in case any of my followers don't feel like reading about this. without further ado, let’s dive in.´

“do you condone/ship incest?”

short answer? nope. but that is not a black or white question i’m afraid. no, i – nox, the human behind this blog of fictional characters – personally do not condone incest , never have and never will, and  don’t ship it. i do, however, ship consanguinamory on rare occasions, and when i do happen to write it i never do it in a good light.

for those who are not familiar with the term, here’s a little bit of info about it x && x. in short, the key difference between them is: incest is usually linked abuse (a fictional example that can be used, taking in consideration one of my very own muses, in this case is margot verger – who was sadly abused by her brother in the hannibal books) while consanguinamory (the lannisters, for example, or even the sharpe siblings from crimson peak are examples of consanguineous relationships) is the consensual romantic and/or sexual relationship between members of the same family who are of consenting age.

[ personally, i find both of them gross as fuuck irl but when it comes to fictional works i may get over this first disgust and ponder more on that && take in consideration the characters arch, plot, thoughts and the whole world they are set in. ]

i suppose the turning point here is the consent. i never, never, condone any sort of abuse – not in fiction and neither in real life – and while it’s a subject that bothers me to no end in real life, when it comes to fiction i am less inclined to project into them. i may write dark and toxic relationships, but i obviously do not condone them. that’s the point here – people on this hellsite usually mix the two together (condoning something and shipping/writing it, that is) when in fact they shouldn’t even be in the same box to begin with.

let’s say you write a fictional serial killer – norman bates, tate langdon, hannibal lecter, catherine tramell (that chick from basic instinct), patrick bateman, mrs lovett and sweeney todd, kai anderson, bellatrix, grindelwald and voldemort (the list of plausible examples could go on forever…) – here and ship with them; does it mean that you, the writer, condone every single action and choice your muse does? if writing something purely fictional equals to condoning it in real life, well… the world is even more fucked up than i first thought.

you see, in this little exercise in imagination, you could’ve easily picked a good guy or gal to write, the hero; the goody two shoes. why didn’t you? well, it’s complicated to pin point why some are drawn to darker works of fiction and characters while others are not, i suppose each individual has their own reasons && i can only speak for myself when i say that i am drawn to these sort of fictional works because they the safest way to explore dark topics that pertain to human society. on my side, it’s nothing but raw curiosity.

there’s also the issue of how different cultures see these relationships. in case you haven’t noticed, i am not from the states but actually from brazil. especially in the rural area, it’s not uncommon for second cousins to date or even marry (ew, i know, pretty gross). that’s something that is luckily falling out of practice, but you can easily find it, more so in the poor rural areas that are really far from the cities.

you may have noticed that most of the sources for the terms come from a blog that advocates real life consanguinamory – but make no mistake, i don’t support it. these were the only places i’ve found as sources in a quick look online. i don’t support it irl, but whatever consenting adults are doing amongst themselves is no concern of mine – i have no say on the matter and all in all, i don’t give a damn. i just don’t like it. everything i’ve discussed here is related to fiction, consent and is only ever related to people of consenting age.

“i was reading your rules and got confused about your sentence where you said if people are uncomfortable with fictional consensual incest this isn’t the blog for you. except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction”

to be honest with you, anon, i couldn’t possibly see how you’ve got confused with this. i thought i was pretty clear with that, but perhaps not. sorry, my english is not perfect. however, with the risk of sounding like a meme, i said what i said. if you personally feel uncomfortable or even triggered with fictional consensual incest otherwise known as consanguinamory, maybe my blog isn’t for you. not because i – as the mun –  condone it, but because i might mention it or even allude to it when i write certain characters. again, consent is the main thing here – you won’t ever see me writing that awful part of margot’s past, but i might mention it on some threads as it is part of her trauma but i will write jaime’s feelings regarding cersei and joanna’s love for tywin – and that should not be overlooked.

“except incest is incest regardless of if it’s fiction” 

so far so good, am i to assume that you also believe that “murder is murder, regardless of if it is fiction or not”? should we call the police on, idk, george rr martin for killing....hell knows how many characters...at this point i’m sure not even he knows. leaving my petty comment aside (it’s the arthritis, i’m always annoyed when in pain), i see where you’re coming from; fair enough.  but you missed a big point here – consensual. i do not write abuse, even to the muses who – in the canon source material – have done so    ( like jaime lannister himself – who’s in a consanguinamorous [therefore, falling under the category of fictional consensual incest] relationship with cersei – who abused his sister next to their son’s dead body [ yeah, jaime apologists, i’m out to get y’all...jokes aside, i do not acknowledge people claiming that cersei manipulated him into going to bed with her, while they are both shitty and toxic as fuck people, their relationship is mutually messed up – gag if you must but jaime lannister is far from innocent angel ] )     in the past. i. don’t. write. it. but i do write jaime’s feelings for cersei because they are canon and are also a big part of the character he became.

all of that, of course, has to do with my own position on the “war” between the people who believe fiction has a great power and influence over reality vs the ones who do not believe in that. personally, i find it hard to believe that fiction is a brainwashing tool rewiring people’s brains  - i find the idea itself ludicrous, the ones who strongly stand for that aren’t that different from flat-earthers and people who believe in reverse racism tbh – but i do acknowledge the influence media has on society. its not nearly enough to turn someone to the “dark side” alone by itself – those who claim that videogames, for example, made them violent most likely already had something different and perhaps wrong with them before the games triggered something. i don’t believe that media creates things on people, but brings buried things (fears, feelings, emotions, hopes) back to the surface. it’s all about the stimulus.

if you wanna be scared, watch an horror movie; if you wanna be happy, a comedy video.  wanna feel warm inside and live unrealistic romantic expectations vicariously through fictional characters? read a 50.000 words slow burn fluffy happy fanfic of your otp at 3 am even though you gotta wake up early in the following morning....

point is, they are not creating things, they are bringing forth responses from you that were already there in your brain (everybody has laughed before and felt fear, it’s part of human development). and how you react to certain content is entirely to you and your past. say, if you drowned as a kid on the sea - and had trauma from that - the idea of watching titanic is not so fun, is it?

it’s not my place to decide what you should do, that is entirely your own choice to make, just be aware that, as i’ve stated before countless times, i may write dark topics that may or may not be triggering to some.  i do so because it is my blog, and i don’t react so harshly to this content (in fact, i love horror, thriller and dark fictional stuff – meanwhile i dread the thought of rom coms, hell knows why??) for i am lucky to be able to separate fiction from reality. basically, whilst writing a villain, i myself do not become one in real life – that part remains in fiction only and doesn’t affect me.

that is not a constant, sure. i don’t just write dark shady stuff – there’s plenty of fluffy shit on my blog, but i like to warn people beforehand to make sure we are all on the same page. it’s for your own comfort, i suppose, because i may not understand certain points of view on fiction but i will always defend your right to be comfortable and safe.

so yes, if you aren’t feeling well at that notion, please unfollow and block me if you must – i never wish to cause any discomfort to anyone – however, before you do so (that is, if you do so) i beg you to just send me an im warning me beforehand, please? that way i can block you – and your other blogs as well – so the chances of me running into you again and causing you discomfort will be minimal. that way we’ll both be on own respective lanes and happy about it. i mass follow very often and don’t usually know which blogs belong to whom (uh, did that make sense? my latina ass is not used to using whom in a sentence....), i may follow another blog (or the revamped blog) of someone who has blocked me and never even realise it – that’s not me following you around and stalking like a total creep, that’s probably me not even remembering who you are. again, sorry – i don’t mean for this to come off rude or anything but???? its the truth? you know the drill, big following list, big followers list (well, big for me tbh, i cannot remember the name or alias of 600 people for the life of me, excuse me if my memory doesn’t serve me right), hard to keep track. there will be no witch hunts, at least on my part, because i deem them to be childish and way too dramatic for my taste. if you’d like to speak in private, adult to adult, i’m always game – i dread vague posting, i personally see it as a pathetic and weak trait. 

as long as you’re civil, so am i.

either way, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe on your blog – your  mental health is far more important (to me, and hopefully to you as well) than a hobby, than tumblr, rp or whatever fictional stuff someone’s writing or reading; you are responsible for your own online experience, and i am responsible for mine. that’s an empowering thing that should be reminded more often.

i truly hope i’ve managed to answer whatever doubts or questions you had in mind, if not my ims are always open and so is my discord. once again, thank you for reading my rules and stay safe!

edit; my dumb ass forgot to drop my disco handle, since i change often. it currently is   DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT !!! | 𝒏𝒐𝒙#1398