#sorry if this reads weirdly lol i’m a bit dissociated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

szintalikedthat · 3 years

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Hello! I saw your post about playlists and I have a request for a vibe!

🎵 + When you're feeling really disconnected from yourself but also sort of angry at everything and then your cat comes and loves up to you and you're still angry and sad but you're also filled with so much love for this teeny tiny animal

Hell yes!!!!

What makes this ask so awesome, is that not only it is a really interesting vibe that I just felt in my heart on 6 different cosmic levels, but it comes with a full blown 5 act structure, which I will be more than happy to indulge... especially because telling a narrative arc with strategically ordered songs is my favourite thing about building a playlist.

When I was thinking about where to begin, I felt like the only genre that can truly encompass the range of emotions contained herein AND even the cuteness of a cat, was none other than emo. Am I right or am I right? But I have to confess, I'm not super familiar with the emo scene, cause when it happened, I went through a phase of listening to very little to no music. And like I said, I cannot accurately pinpoint musical genres because I just sort them in my head completely differently, so... this playlist has maybe like one or two songs that are actually emo, I think(?) and is not so much emo overall as much as "Songs that made me feel like what I thought emo should feel like". However I do know that some emo bands like to have one foot in metal and the other in electronic music, so this is what created the backbone of this playlist that holds it all together - an electronic and/or industrial metal streak. Fingers crossed that this will be up your alley.

I made a spotify compilation of it all but I also linked the individual songs thru youtube in case someone doesn’t use it.

Enjoy! 🎵

1. Dissociation Every Day is Exactly The Same - Elektrik People

I consider this kind of a blatant choice in my neck of the musical woods but if there has ever been a better song written about that very emotion that you were talking about, I haven't heard it. I offer it to you now like a special gift directly from the playlist of a very personal OC who himself has some issues and dissociative tendencies. Yes, I'm talking about my OCs I'm projecting onto of whom nobody fucking asked, because I don't want to make this too personal, what about it. Don't we all? And yes, this IS the Nine Inch Nails song, but I chose this version - and tbh I like this one better than the original, with all due respect to Mr. Reznor - because the soft, slightly slurring vocals and reverberating instruments really make it sound as if I myself were hearing it through a disconcerted haze.

2. Realization X - Hatari

I put this song in as a kind of segway between the previous song and the next; it's like a moment of coming-to, a realization of one's true pain that was blocked before, and includes all the disillusionment, hatred, and grief that it entails, but is also still kind of... catchy, in a way? If you will. Song translation

3. Fragmentation Buried Alive - Otep

And there we are, the true, unfiltered cacophony of negative emotions, spoken in their full and direct brutality. What really gets me about Otep every time, is that besides some of her lyrics just being genuinely great poetry, she can speak the most simple, emo, generic words with such incredible cadence that you quake as you feel the emotion in your veins right there where she's at.

4. Spiral Victimized- KoRn

Look, I might be a little bit biased, but when you're asking me for trauma induced, frothing dissociative rage, I'm definitely thinking of Jonathan Davis, because let's be honest, no one brings it to the table like he does. That's just objectively true. There is no shortage of such musical numbers in KoRn's repertoire but as opposed to some of their maddening, blunt and grunge-like earlier sounds, I decided to bring something from their newer catalog, which encases the madness in a cleanly yet jagged, cutting-edge electronic shell, and thus will fit in with this playlist very nicely.

5. Contact Teardrop - Massive Attack

So I asked myself, "Is there a song that makes me feel the emotion of touching extremely soft fur and would fit into this playlist" and I immediately knew that this song would be THE perfect answer. I wanted the shift to be as sudden as possible, but at the same time still a little bit organic, which is a high expectation but this song has an almost KoRn-like chord progression just in major instead of minor. I couldn't have invented a better one if I tried.

6. Decision Neon Gravestones - Twenty One Pilots

Okay, I'm not even going to make any jokes about this or anything. I think this song is a really brutal confrontation about a very heavy topic, and the biggest takeaway that I want you to have from it is that, I think, there is a point at the bottom of your hopelessness where you HAVE to make a conscious decision to move upward even if you don't feel like you can do it or whether it's even possible, before the healing can start. And sometimes it really be like that.

7. Clarity Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

Note that after the Soft Cat neither of the songs are really as unhinged as we started, and that is for a reason. I think that this song must have been insanely popular at a time, sorry about that. I swear, I'm trying to make choices that are not too obvious but it felt like it would just hit the right emotional beat. I think you can read a lot into these rhetorical questions, in the song I mean, but the cord progressions always make me feel a certain opening up to hope through teary eyes.

8. Power Suffering You - 16 Volt

At the end of it all, by any means I wanted to end this playlist on a positive note, so here we are. There's just something about this song that gets me every time. It leans into its own early 2000s proto-emo roots with such a sweeping, unapologetic confidence. This song be like "You're goddamn right I'm a fucking whiney little bitch with my depression and unprocessed negative emotions, you wanna fight about it? You wanna take it outside?" What else could I have for it than respect? The rhythm is mercilessly pumping, the riffs are almost bizarrely catchy. I wouldn't necessarily call this song positive on a surface level, but it always makes me feel weirdly upbeat. Once you read into it a bit metatextually, this song is the pinnacle of depressed but reclaimed power, an almost fashionably earworm-like rallying cry of healthily channeled righteous anger. I actually almost put it at the beginning because I think playlists should begin strong - I like to make playlists that either sweep you or slap you on the face with the very first chord lol - and I think this song, almost literally slaps. However I immediately realized that no, this cannot happen, not this time. This song cannot be at the start because this is exactly the goal where I want you to mentally arrive at.

Okay, enough of the playlist infused therapy session. I hope you had some kind of positive takeaway and maybe even some songs you didn't know before. Now go and stick it to the man!

#playlist requests #music prompt #playlist prompt #music #mine

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