#source. [ t.gcf. ]

[threelivesthreeworlds]

Why are you running a blog for a plagiarized work written by a violently homophobic author?

(Admin Lins note: This will post will contain both admins speaking at different points, there will be talk of d.anmei and B.L, overall the admins are frustrated with the phrasing used by the anon and we suggest you use critical thinking skills when reading this as to not misunderstand our words) 

Admin Ro: This is a complicated question, with complicated answers. I don’t think you’ll be satisfied with my answer, anon, but I’m on a train and I have the patience to lay it out right now, so I’ll tell you why, for me personally, I allow myself and other people to enjoy this series and make derivative content for it.

( Admin Lins: to disclaimer: admins are consumers and enjoyers of d.anmei/B.L, admin lins also consumes a lot of sapphic content primarily western written, these books are in no-particular order

Admin Ro has read: m.dzs, s.vsss, p.each b.lossom d.ebt (aka the book the allegations are around), t.gcf (<--- at least 5 times by Admin Lins’ last count),g.uardian, Q.ianqiu, 2.ha, I b.ecome a g.od in a h.orror g.ame, w.elcome to the n.ightmare l.ive, K.aleidoscope of D.eath, t.hriller t.rainee, t.hriller t.our g.roup, g.lobal e.xamination, g.irls of p.aper and f.ire, i.ron w.idow 

Admin Lins has read: m.dzs, t.gcf, g.uardian, both two or three chapters of s.vsss & 2.ha each (I’m slow, s.vsss requires a certain mood, and 2.ha is just dark and heavy so I take my time with this), about ten chapters of q.jj back in 2020, about one or two chapters of q.ianqiu, in the midst of reading i b.ecome a g.od in a h.orror g.ame, the s.inging h.ills c.ycle series, s.he w.ho b.ecome the s.un, i.ron w.idow, g.irls of p.aper and f.ire series, s.he is a h.aunting, the c.hosen and the b.eautiful, b.urning r.oses

( Admin Lins: chances are I missed some books we’ve read or I have intentionally left them out as they aren’t relevant to this post.) ) 

Admin Ro: Firstly, a lot of media is problematic, even without our knowledge. If you don’t allow people to consume media because some of its contents are problematic, its author or source is problematic, etc. etc., then there will be nothing in the world left that’s completely “safe” or “moral” to consume. It’s somewhat unreasonable in my opinion to demand that someone enjoy only completely correct things, especially in a world where hardly anything is always 100% correct. Reading a book and liking it does not mean I condone its problematic moments. In fact you’ll find that a lot of the times on this blog specifically we point out where something is problematic. We don’t blindly consume this content, we are able to be critical thinkers and decide which parts of a story we do not agree with the message of.

Admin Ro: I assume the violent homophobia you’re referring to is largely the fact that the novel is supposedly plagiarized from a B.L. First, to say nothing of the plagiarism aspect, do you suppose that B.L as a genre isn’t homophobic at its root of origin? In China, the genre is mostly produced by straight women for the consumption of straight women. They call themselves f.ujoshis. B.L is like y.aoi, in a sense - largely still the fetishization of gay men for the profit of straight people. It’s representation, yes, but lots of them contain what you would consider problematic in terms of content regardless of if it were straight or gay - with frequent noncon/dubcon, the perpetrator being an l.gbt+ main character we are to sympathize with, toxic and otherwise unhealthy relationships between l.gbt+ characters we are meant to ship, graphic and intense violence and other heavy themes directly in the actions of characters who are l.gbt+. I don’t know if you read B.L, but perhaps you should head over to those (much larger, by the way, and much more vocal) fandoms first and ask them why they support a genre that is so violently homophobic? (<- note this is sarcasm) No? Well, if we are allowed to critically think with these stories to understand these characters and relationships as we do, then we’re allowed to critically think with this series. 

Admin Lins: I’d advise, if you do not want violently homophobic Asian authors in the content you consume, please avoid the B.L Y.ou’ve G.ot M.ail: The P.erils of P.igeon P.ost - F.ei G.e J.iao Y.ou X.u J.in S.hen as that author went on an abusive, homophobic, and transphobic rant toward a gay, Taiwanese author when the gay author was merely celebrating how Taiwan now allows same sex couples to adopt.

Now, our frustration lies in the fact that this was sent to our blog, under the assumption of whatever you, dear anon, have in their mind. Maybe it was entirely innocent, but to us, your tone came in as guns blazing. We are in fact consumers of B.L/d.anmei as stated in the beginning of this post. We are also queer women, who frankly don’t appreciate the words “violently homophobic” carelessly thrown around about an author we have only seen alleged claims to do with plagiarism about, and have investigated into where the evidence seems to rely more on people just don’t want to accept that a queer person can be in straight-passing relationships or accept queer characters can exist in a story that isn’t b.l/d.anmei as there is no speciality genre for queer characters that aren’t in same sex relationships or are in straight-passing ones, and phrases that are common to the Chinese-language are thrown around as evidence for “plagiarism”. 

Admin Ro: Tang.Qi may not have always been the best at writing her own l.gbt+ characters in some instances, but marked improvement can be seen in later books. Her main characters aren’t entirely “straight” either, even when they’re straight-passing. If there’s some other homophobia you’re referring to, I’m unaware of it and you’re going to have to expand. 

Admin Lin: 

To list off some of the queer characters / relationships / moments in 3l3w for you: 

B.ai Q.ian herself calls the relationship she had as Si.Yin with L.i J.ing her “first homosexual relationship”. She also switches between sexes as she pleases and is comfortable as either. 

L.i J.ing battles internalize homophobia/biphobia because his shitty father is also gay. It’s a lot of inner turmoil for him which is partly behind the reason he cheated on Si.Yin, the belief he could not be into men if he was into women.

S.u M.oye’s older brother, D.ie Y.ong, is gay and has a crush on Y.ehua. Their father also announces that whoever heals D.ie Y.ong, if a man, can marry D.ie Y.ong, or S.u M.oye, if a woman.

B.ai Z.hen and Z.he Y.an are basically an old married couple who bicker to the point B.ai Q.ian and B.ai F.eng J.iu avoid them to let them figure themselves out when they have arguments. But they’re also shown to be rather affectionate with each other.

B.ai F.eng J.iu is not one to wax poetic but the two times we see her - one is when she’s writing love letters as Consort C.hen to another wife of Emperor S.ong’s to break his heart (when she obviously could’ve chosen any male figure to do that to) and when she sees J.i H.eng for the first time.

J.i H.eng & M.in S.u are eloped aka married for 100 years before they part ways.

J.i H.eng’s older brother X.uyang has feelings for M.in S.u when he still believes her to be a male body guard.

Z.uti (aka C.heng Y.u’s original self) was born agender with the ability to choose their sex at 40,000 years old. They meant to take on a male form but chose to take on a female form. However, while still genderless, Z.uti got engaged to a female flower fairy named G.u R.ong, who Z.uti was then engaged to as a woman herself for over 200,000 years, some of which they were both sleeping during. And G.u R.ong deeply loves Z.uti, even upon her (G.u R.ong) choosing to break their engagement. 

G.u R.ong herself is a fierce and protective queer woman over whom she deems to be her family. 

Admin Ro: As to the plagiarism, I have read both books in their original language. This is my opinion - you can form your own if you choose to go read these books for comparison’s sake like I did. But - in terms of plot, considering that they are of the same genre and written in the same time frame  and so barring the usual 2010s x.ianxia settings, they really couldn’t be more different. They have some common characters because both authors borrowed real Chinese deities, which I believe to be reasonable in a similar x.ianxia setting. If you want to interpret it as such, maybe you can find characters expressing sentiments in similar ways, but to be fair those are neither copied directly nor even paraphrased. Also, Tang.Qi has won every plagiarism court case she’s in. You can choose not to believe in the Chinese court system, I certainly don’t know if I do, but that’s just supplementary information. 

Lastly, anon - because I want to run a blog for a story I like. Just as if you want, you can x out of this page and stop wasting your time and maybe go touch some grass. I humbly think that would be a better use of your time than trying to police two people on the internet reading an obscure book series and making shitposts about it.

[pctaldrunk]

no one asked for a t.gcf verse but therapy couch goddess is reporting for duty -

Basically it all started when the mun questioned whether or not doctors count as civil gods if they were to ascend. And - short answer, I've decided they do.

Long answer: theoretically, her devastating calamitous fate should have ended at the age of 8. After the execution of her whole family, her life is supposed to have no more tragedy. She grows up with her grandfather, learns medicine, becomes a doctor, buries the secrets of her past and gives up on revenge. She should, by all rights, have died an old lady, mostly content with her life and what she did with it, ready to return to the arms of her long-lost family.

But unfortunately, before she has time to put any of that into motion - then came several bad years, emergent illness, eventually a country-wide epidemic. She stops traveling, flooded by the city people catching ill left and right. People are dying at an alarming rate and she establishes clinics, tries to heal as many as she can. She refuses to leave, and when the city is sealed away and left to die by itself, she stays there. She stays there and she works with her dwindling supply of herbs, almost burning her life force to come up with a treatment - never figures it out, never figures out the source of the illness - until, on the verge of a breakthrough, she catches ill herself.

She should have died. She suffered like she was going to. Except she doesn't die. Before she takes her last breath, she ascends instead. As legend would have it, the girl who trapped herself in a city of sick and dying shot into the heavens and the clouds parted and new life was breathed into the streets when the new god, with borrowed time - delivered a new prescription, a new protocol to the mortal realm. Maybe, people say, the gods took pity. But that's posterity.

Tang Tang never meant to be a god, really. But she's always been good at optimism - at being grateful for what she has and learning how to work with a sharp turn in life. Still - she doesn't view herself or her peers as much more special, only - well, with necessary spiritual powers now, and a lot more people to be responsible for. She fancies they're all still - rather human.

So she becomes the medicine god, worshipped by the ill, rich and poor. It's tough enough to be a doctor, facing irate patients and angry families when treatments go wrong, sometimes not even knowing what went right with a new treatment. As a god, it's even harder - there are illnesses that cannot be cured, even when she does her best. But - she never leaves a sincere cry for help unanswered. Making her a rather busy god, with all the inconsequential prayers she seems to tend to. But it also makes life much more interesting - suddenly she has access to all the strange cases in the world.

She's also worshipped by some doctors. Despite being a woman and therefore necessarily still looked upon as little more than a midwife in some circles of academics - her life and her work are respected. If it improves treatment, for a great majority of healers in the world - it ought to be studied, and it ought to be used.

Anyway her signature spiritual device is literally her needles. No she has not gotten less stab happy.

[resolutepath]

to no one's surprise ever: new muse additions.

[resolutepath]

And here are the messy Qi Rong and Shi Qingxuan are more similar than you think thoughts sponsored by @avaere

Now this is not me saying that they are the same, but rather there are some common themes between the two that are so interesting to dive into. Firstly there is the sense of being given a life they did not ask for, or rather, the circumstances one had no control over were integral to forging who they became. For Shi Qingxuan, this was the feast the parents held in honour of his birth ignoring the fortuneteller's words and summoning a Reverend of Empty Words to stalk him essentially. For Qi Rong this was the abusive father he had and the growing up in a shack until the age of 5, instead of the palace he might have if his mother had not broken off a good engagement to run away with a guard.

So both of them had circumstances set in place that were outside of their control in their formative years. What differs is how they reacted to them.

The next similarity is the misfortune they shared, namely the death of their parents, in circumstances that they may have inadvertantly caused (but truthfully was a product of their parents' actions). Shi Qingxuan's parents died when they reached the age of 10, due to the decline and internal conflicts that came as a result of the misfortune their parents due to the door. Qi Rong lost his mother to her depression and desire to save the Queen from the upheaval, the depression of which was caused by the abuse she tolerated, which grew after Qi Rong's birth.

The third similarity is that they both had that one person they idolised. For Shi Qingxuan its Shi Wudu, for Qi Rong its Xie Lian. Now what happened to that idolisation varies but they both held this family member in high esteem. Even when the worst faults are revealed, Shi Qingxuan can still grieve for Shi Wudu because he loves him deeply, whereas Qi Rong's envy twisted his attitude and now he mocks Xie Lian all while craving his attention.

That's not to mention the similarity of how extra they both are. Qi Rong and Shi Qingxuan in another life might have been the most extra gossip pals sitting in the corner judging everyone's outfits and passing notes about the latests happenings in the Heavens and Ghost City.

In the end, to me, what separates them is Shi Qingxuan focuses on the positives in his life whereas Qi Rong festers. Shi Qingxuan chooses to accept his lot in life and make the best of it, Qi Rong resents what has been done to him and seeks retribution. This is even more obvious when you see how Shi Qingxuan reacts to being human once more versus how Qi Rong reacts every time someone questions his rank as one of the four Ghost Kings. In another life, Shi Qingxuan could have been a calamitous tempest of a Ghost King, and Qi Rong a fine heavenly official. But the way they handle how things affect them stops them going down those paths (though those would make for interesting verses.... )

[resolutepath]

"What if they kissed?" (he xuan for shi qingxuan. for reasons-)

The festivities that surround them create a warm atmosphere, a cheeriness thrumming through the crowds of which they are the centre. It is one of the few occasions that they do not wear their female guise for such events, perhaps owing to the presence of Shi Wudu and the desire to enjoy the night rather than nurse a tumour-induced headache. Given his choice of company it seems like a better option.

Instead their arm lazily drapes through the crook of Ming Yi's elbow, fingers delicately curled into the fabric, as the other lifts the glass of that which gives him his legendary name, a few precious drops escaping and narrowly avoiding staining fabric as he continues on with a story of escapades. Now and then they turn towards their ebony-swathed companion and smiles, or tip their head in a gesture that questions without words as to their wellbeing.

There's no telling how many hours pass between conversations and glasses of wine. It is an endlessly revelry it seems, filled with good friends and conversations, even entertainment as a disagreement between Mu Qing and Feng Xin escalate into an all out brawl. It is loud and boisterous enough to facilitate a quick escape, hand sinking to curl fingers around Ming Yi's, tugging gently in guidance, only pausing to secure them another jug of wine.

Beyond there is a tranquility in the air, a silence that fills the Heavens and their pace slows, at least until they find a quiet corner to linger in, where the noise of those who have ascended and the prying eyes of their brother and his friends no longer linger. Now there is just them and a bench and the jug of wine, and they sit.

"Come, come join me! I know all that noise bothers you more than you let on." A smile as bright as their disposition follows, patting the seat, waiting until the other is settled next to them. There is no space between them, Qingxuan curls into Yi's side, encroaching on the space as though it is their own. For a time there is nothing but silence, a reprieve of sorts for their companion, and one that they do not mind indulging. The breeze whistles between them, the sounds of the palace festivities echo softly in the air. It is a beautiful night.

A turn of the head upwards brings their gaze level with the other, the depths of that stern gaze entrancing, fascinatingly endless and drawing in a way no other ever has. A delicate hand lifts and rests upon a cheek, fingertips dancing over skin with a whisper of a touch before settling to cradle the skin reverantly. There is nothing more that follows for a moment, just that held gaze and gentle touch as they wonder what the other is thinking beyond that stormy expression, wonder what occupies his mind in such depths even they cannot reach him.

Then slowly, they lean up, brushing lips against his in a tentative gesture, as fleeting as a summer's breeze, testing waters as it were to see whether it shook foundations. When rejection does not come, but rather they feel the tightening of a hand about their waist anda returned pressure, they grow emboldened, letting that gentle touch slide back to cradle the nape and lids flutter over their eyes, content to while away the hours just like this.

One becomes another, and another, the trade of gentle affections to while away the hours, nothing hurried, just two souls finding peace in a sanctuary of their own.

Eventually the night gives way to morning, dawn breaking through and offering a warmth that coaxes the attention of the youngest Shi brother. Awoken with the delicate stain of tracks upon their cheeks, their fingers cradling the pillow at their side, they stifle a sob and bury their face against it as though keeping that dream alive might ease the ache of knowing that Ming Yi - no He Xuan - had simple been a farce, an executed vengeance that was deserved. They only wished that the emotions they felt had been severed too.

what if they kissed? // @daybreakrising

[resolutepath]

“ hey i got something for you look! ” holds up middle finger , sorry but hua cheng had to deliver this to qi rong, i don't have a say

"HUA CHENG, YOU ONE-EYED SNAKE!" His brow furrows, lip quivering with barely constrained outrage as a hand flies dramatically to the side. Qi Rong leans forward where he stands in the measly cave he's been able to claim as territory, sneering as green eyes narrow, wondering why this butterfly bound oaf can't leave him be and chase his favourite snow lotus instead of bothering him. The crude gesture still lingers and the hand at his side balls into a fist.

"Truly a mark of your upbringing to resort to such petulant and crass tactics. Are you so bored that you have stain my air with your stench?" The insults roll off his tongue with his usual sharp bite, brave all the time that distance remains between them. "Has my dear cousin finally tired of you? Do you miss his heavenly light warming your bed?!"

A smirk remains as he throws his head back and laughs, the sound a discordant twang of sanity snapping thread by thread, an unhinged raucous chorus of a party of one. It's ugly, and uncomfortable to listen to, but he does not care, laughing until he might almost think his eyes might leak before he catches a hold of himself.

"If you miss him so much, I might have a statue or two left you could use. A pretty fixture for your palace if you wish to stare upon him. He makes a better footrest if you ask me." Always too far, always too much, and when footsteps lead that glare closer to him he scurries backwards, putting more space between them with scowl in place once more.

"WHY can't you ever take a joke? Has every inch of humour left your body? You are as uptight as those ridiculous heavenly officials, PRANCING AND PATROLLING as though this is all of yours to claim!! There's more Ghost Kings you know! Why don't you ever go drown in Black Water's seas and reduce his territories. Do you know how long remodelling takes?!" His voice raises into a shrieked crescendo; arm shaking as he points painted nails directly at the other wishing he had not sent so many ghosts out to collect dinner so he might at least offer them up as sacrifices to Hua Cheng's ire in a bid to escape.

Unfortunately this time it looks like he'll be rebuilding his avatar. Again.

[resolutepath]

Does Qi Rong find himself bothered with his position in the world? What does he wish he could have done differently, if anything?

Qi Rong is absolutely bothered by his place in the world and has been for a long time both alive and as a ghost. He's never satisfied, thinks he's entitled to more, demands it even whether he gets it or not, and throws a tantrum essentially when things do not go his way. I'd go as far to say he's a very loud and explicit case of someone shouting at the world because they feel they deserve more, of someone who is never satisfied with what they have and has to pull others down if they a) don't think the same and b) have more than him.

It is why in some parts he has such unadulterated loathing for Hua Cheng, why he feels the need to insult him in his absence because realistically he wants the power and fear that Hua Cheng has seemingly so effortlessly. Hua Cheng has the capacity to challenge Heaven Officials and win multiple times, Hua Cheng makes people avoid him, and Hua Cheng has Xie Lian's attention more so than he ever had.

He's a twisted little personality, a combination of his circumstances and his attitude, and he cannot handle not being on the pedestal, at the pinnacle of all things. So instead of working to get there he shouts and he screams and he insults with that rotten mouth of his.

I think if he were to be asked if he wishes he would have done things differently, he'd probably say something crass about removing all the supporters from Xie Lian's life earlier on - Feng Xin, Mu Qing, Hua Cheng if he was aware he was there - he would not offer repentence because I don't think he's sorry. He doesn't view things as I did this wrong and I could do this to make it better, but as I did this and he didn't pay any attention to me so now I need to hurt him because he will then.

I do, however, also think there have been fleeting moments when his respect has been the highest for Xie Lian, back when he was living, that he thinks he could have done things differently. The one I think of the most is instead of asking the other children to help him write a lantern for his mother, he wishes he simply went straight to Xie Lian. Had he focused more back then on creating camraderie instead of being quietly envious he might have been part of Xie Lian's inner circle in a way he ended up not being.

[resolutepath]

✿ how about for robin and shi qingxuan?

Robin makes the days go by easier for Qingxuan and draws out their best self. While they are very good at putting on a smile and a show - who isn't in Penacony - particularly since Wudu's missing notice and Sunday's departure, Qingxuan finds that the smiles only really tend to be genuine in her presence, their shoulders tend to be lighter. Perhaps it's that deep understanding that they share, being the ones left behind, perhaps it's partly a if she can do it so can I, but mostly it's just genuine comfort in her company. To be in her presence is to be surrounded in a warm hug, to talk with her feels like the most ease one can get and the understanding she shares makes her easy to be around. Does that make them fear there may one day be a day when they lose her too? Of course, but they won't put that burden on her nor ruin what they have. That's a worry for the nights when sleep won't come because her time is to be celebrated not dampened with worry.

Because of how much support she offers them, Qingxuan is keen to ensure they are doing the same. They bring her favourite snacks to get togethers, grab samples of new make up they have to try before getting ready for an event, all the little things. But they also listen and have their arms wide open when she needs a hug too or to slow down for a little and to just ramble. They'll watch her favourite shows with her, or trashy movies, buried in blankets with popcorn and ice-cream or go and try out that new cafe in disguise. And sometimes they just offer that hint of what isn't there with Sunday gone by asking why she's smiling at her phone and who could be bringing such a smile to her lips. Teasing gently and kindly but good-naturedly. In some ways they both take on the role each other's older sibling left vacant I think. Not entirely, just a little bit to ease the pain of absence.

SEND “ ✿ ” FOR 2 HEADCANONS // @avaere

[resolutepath]

[ braid ] standing behind the receiver, sender starts braiding their hair (oh , robin for shi qingxuan ! gotta glam up her favorite best friend)

The gentle shift of locks is soothing as Qingxuan sits underneath her gentle hands, back resting against the plush chair as Robin works her magic to twist silken strands into elegant and enchanting styles. For a few days now, there has been no motivation to make much more effort than a simple tail, the cloud of anxiety chasing their footsteps since consuming the article that alludes to their rother's harm if not entire demise. Where usually they would be shrouded in elegant styles and the centre of the room, instead they have been opting for simple robes and a subdued smile, still amiable but muted, as though the colours have poured from their life.

Until Miss Robin had her way.

With the vehemence of a younger sibling used to dealing with an elder, a feat they knew well, Robin had steered them into the dressing room and sat them down. The simplicity had been revoked and now they watch as she winds intricate braids and cascading strands into an exquisite elegant style that will steal breath and capture attentions.

"You have outdone yourself once again, you truly are a work of art." There's a slight glimmer returned to eyes as Qingxuan turns head left and right, taking in the style, the fastenings, the slight glitter of hair in the lamplight. With such a style it is clear Robin has a place to attend in mind and there is a certain tiredness towards being sombre that is starting to linger. Perhaps, there is time to live now, and worry later.

Catching Robin's hand against their shoulder, Qingxuan takes a moment to smile at her in the mirror, eyes masked with emotion, the edges glimmering as tears well at the lashline but remain unspilt. "A wonder and a great friend..." A pause and they twist, leaning their head against her arm, looking at the pair of them in the mirror, two younger siblings daring to hope that their elders are well even if they remain lost and far from home.

@avaere

[resolutepath]

“ you think i don’t notice but i do. i can tell something’s wrong. ” robin to shi qingxuan!

Where Qingxuan walks, there is laughter carried, soft melodic sounds that fill a space like a gentle breeze, brightening any space they occupy. Their smile is a beacon of warmth, welcoming and encouraging, letting any and all who share space to become part of the fold, to share in the revelry or simply bathe in the ambience.

Conversation twitters, and drinks flow, fragrant wines parching thirst and bubbling the mood. One glass lingers between lithe fingers, occasionally brought to lips between conversations, easing the ache of their smile for a brief moment. They circulate the room touching base with new friends and old, raucous laughter, outrageous suggestions, and of course a party trick or two to keep moods bubbling.

And when the party reaches the optimal atmosphere, they slip away. seeking a balcony and the air that might permit a moment's reprieve. Shoulders slump slowly, weight bearing down upon them and the corners of their smile recede. Behind them, music filters into the evening air with excited voices but it does reach them, a discordant note in the symphony now they have extracted themselves from the party.

So absorbed are they in leaning into the railing of the balcony and drinking deeply from the wine glass that does not feel deep enough, they do not hear the click of her heels behind them. Her words break the space found and though they straighten, affixing their smile in place, it is a sloppy endeavour and it does not meet the melancholic depths of their eyes.

"So transparent am I under your gaze? A mark of a true friend..." Their words are soft, a tragedy in the tone as they look upon her and raise their glass in a gentle toast before turning back to the sky. They remain silent for a time and then offer a small clipping of a newspaper article drawn from their pocket, a replication of something read in the waking world. A shaking glass is brought to lips and they swallow, staring ahead, not needing to see that which has already been burnt into their mind. The headline haunts them, it's foreboding tragedy a plague.

HORRIFIC SCENE LEAVES AUTHORITIES LOST.

The article then goes on to detail a terrible scene found in an alleyway, shreds of fine clothing littering the place, signs of a grisly struggle and enough blood to fear for the victim's safety. There is some speculation that this attack was premeditated, due to the location and the scene left behind. And finally at the end of the article there is a description of an item left behind, a hand fan in white emblazoned with a dark blue sigil and a family name. It was instantly recognisable and enough to crush Qingxuan as the jaws of the past draw close.

"It's Wudu..." they breathe, trembling hand raising as breath hitches and sobs threaten to spill from lips. Their fingers clamp at their cheeks, forcing them back refusing to let the grief bring them to their knees, recalling the promises made and words exchanged. They cannot fail him, cannot give in when it would only draw that creature closer, baying for their grief. "It's Wudu..." they repeat, head falling forward until long hair covers face, tone of resignation to the tragedy ahead.

There's a grave silence that follows their words, one that does not let up until their fingers release cheeks and their hand drops to their side. Slowly they raise to their full height twisting head and rolling shoulders, raising their wine glass to sip from. Glistening tear tracks shimmer in their face as their smile fixes back in place with the emptying of the glass, an expression that does not meet the hopelessness in their eyes.

"We carry on... we have to..." They say, wishing to crawl into her space to take the embrace they so long to crave, afraid that doing so will break them for she is the only one to know their pain, with a brother who has been lost to the stars, a fate left unknown, while they remain behind. "No matter what burdens we carry. Penacony does not want my sorrow."

[resolutepath]

❝ you either need to make a move or let them go. ❞ robin out here playing love guru for poor shi qingxuan

There is little to be heard but the wheezed sigh that flutters around the room, echoing from the mess of splayed limbs and blankets where Qingxuan has built themself a blanket fort upon the couch. An arm covers eyes, obscuring any view as thoughts wander in a loop, mind lost on another, thoughts elsewhere, following paths that only end in dead ends before they let out another sigh and push themselves upright, curling arms around knees, cuddling them close to their chest and letting long tresses of brown cascade forward.

"Were it only so simple, I would do so in a heartbeat..." It has never been a secret that the heart of the young lord was a flighty thing, quick to fall in love with something, quick to leave it behind. Most of the time. Sometimes the affection cemented, not yet blossoming into something more but lingering long enough to lurk on the mind, to bother them in the night hours and throughout the day forging the disposition of an unrequited lover, filled with sighs and gazes into the distance as the thoughts continue. Thoughts lost to words exchanged and parting ways, reading between the lines to find meaning in what was said and that which was withheld.

"Give me a few days, I will be myself again..." A finger curls in a lock of hair, twisting it about as the averted gaze turns back to meet her kindly visage. Inexperienced at matters of the heart beyond infatuation as they are, there is no telling why this one is so difficult, more so than it simply is. Yet they can already tell that in this, there will be no recovery in three days, nor flights of fancy that follow until this unresolved feeling lets itself form, gathers the courage to flutter in his ribcage and be known despite the situation. While he cannot tell her the source of his dilemma for his anguish for it is a complex thing, he appreciates her efforts to cut through to the ultimate decision, and while there is no sense of readiness to swing either way as of yet, it is at least something they will ruminate on deeply.

Would it be right to move on so quickly without trying? What if the moves fall short and are unwelcomed?

"Until then, tell me of your day... what gossip have you heard in our illustrious home?" The change of winds is enough to bring a smile to lips, for knees to lower until a lotus position is assumed, lips curving into a smile. If it does not quite meet their eyes, then the attempt at least is genuine, and they are trying to chase away the wistfulness that is left when a moment of opportunity has passed. Perhaps the paths will twist in favour of it in the future, but for now, there is a life to live, gossip to share and snacks to indulge in.

And Qingxuan will be damned if their sulking ruins a night with their best friend. The affairs of the heart can wait.

[resolutepath]

✶ shi qingxuan & xie lian, hitsugaya & rangiku

✶ Xie Lian is the only person that Shi Qingxuan is comfortable dropping the mask with from the get go, because they know there is no judgement, there never is any judgement, and actually Xie Lian genuinely cares about their wellbeing. It's something that makes them wish they had known him earlier / for far longer than they have, because Xie Lian truly is a kindred spirit.

✶ Hitsugaya relies on Rangiku for balance, and while he does not always speak so obviously, she is the one he relies upon to keep him grounded. She was the one who told him to become a Shinigami and learn how to control his power before he hurt someone, she is the one who brings joy to his day when he is locked into the severity of his responsibilities, and the one who pulls him away from his work when he has been too focused. It goes without saying that there is a reason why she is his Lieutenant, and he would be lost without her.

✶ BONUS: You get the bonus for Ravi and Mortefi because my brain insists, but I'm thinking abotu Ravi becoming a staple in Mortefi's ventures outside the lab, accompanying him throughout the wastelands. During this time, they get to understand how similar they truly are, and share more about the weight of their burdens, and growing closer as individuals. Ravi becomes one of the first people Mortefi asks to accompany outside of Jinzhou.

Send ✶ and I���ll write a headcanon about our muses (still accepting!) // @intcritus

[resolutepath]

I think there's a deep sense of loneliness within Shi Qingxuan that they really do not want to acknowledge, whether this is in canon or their HSR verse. They do not actually have many friends, their brother an enforcer of this for there are many who would be chased away by his demeanour. And then beyond that, the one friend they do manage to keep a hold of turns out to be an enemy in disguise, everything about their relationship suddenly shrouded in falsehoods. It leaves something gnawing within them about all dynamics, are they genuine, and though they do not let it show, I think on some level they do keep a certain distance from others to protect themself.

In H.SR verse I think that loneliness is more obvious initially and gets hidden over time as they adjust to Penacony, finding a place but also constantly looking to the stars.