taikk0 · 1 year ago
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i just found your my little park art and i'm fanboying ESPECIALLY THE ONE OF KYLE IN THE GALA DRESS LIKE AAAAA I NEED TO SEE THE REST OF THEM IN THE GALA DRESSES THEY'D LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR STYLE!!!!
AHH THANK YOU!! planning on drawing them soon if i get any cool ideas. maybe a redraw of these two actually!
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[here are the gala designs for those who haven't seen them. i love them a lot <3]
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let's just hope kyle actually posts them here on tumblr soon😔🙏 i need this au to spread like a disease.
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wormworker · 5 months ago
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fandoms i've been in ranked from least to most toxic/depraved/make me upsetti spaghetti
(not a rank of these titles or things themselves)
-my little pony G3 (peace and love on planet earth)
-legend of zelda
-sonic the hedgehog (yes seriously... and i've been in this fandom probably since before a lot of you were born)
-goldfrapp (musician/band)
-tori amos (musician)
-south park (amazingly..... but i mostly stuck to the tumblr side of it, to be fair)
-TOOL (the band) (to be fair i didn't roam much)
-team fortress 2
-goth (like actual OG trad goth subculture)
-death note
-jojo's bizarre adventure (mostly fine, but there are a TON of "bros" in this fandom who are extremely ableist and racist)
-punk (as in bad brains and dead kennedys punk, not..... what, fallout boy? lol)
-hazbin hotel, helluva boss (tumblr and twitter? great. facebook and youtube? holy hell)
-invader zim (i was part of the toxic. and honestly i think this was where i lot of us as teenagers realized we had some fucked up trauma to unpack lol)
-vocaloid (made me need to call an exorcist on myself)
-joy division (the band) (......yikes on bikes)
-breaking bad (ableists and explicitly misogynistic supporters of domestic violence)
-harry potter (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
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fuckyeahcharmcaster · 4 years ago
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Post 666 on this blog
How about commemorating it by analyzing a recent Twitter thread by none other than Geoffrey Thorne, writer of the much-maligned (and deservedly so) “Couples Retreat”?
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Immediately a falsehood - McDuffie never ran Ben 10 and Thorne never pitched/wrote for it. 
It was Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (the rebranding of the series Ben 10: Alien Force) that McDuffie ran and Thorne pitched/wrote for. He should have used “franchise” rather than “show”.
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REMEMBER THIS. It will be important later.
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Hoo boy, here we go....
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1. Given which episode it was, I wouldn’t call that “lucky”.
2. It seems like Thorne is definitely the guy behind the alleged spin-off Dwayne McDuffie proposed to the network. In regards to that I respect his passion, but not much else.
3. OK, some context is needed here: he is calling himself a “Charmcaster shipper” because this entire thread was sparked because one of his writer buddies who works on Supergirl was getting a lot of grief from Kara/Lena (”Supercorp”) shippers about how things have gone down on that show. But the problem is that this makes no sense - you cannot be a “shipper” of just one character. What he is describing is being a Charmcaster fanboy, NOT a “shipper”.
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…..Where do I even START?
1. First off is the most glaring part: Thorne has completely re-arranged the order of events in his mind. The episode which making explicit that Charmcaster was evil and crazy, “The Enemy of My Frenemy”, aired BEFORE his episode, not after. Also, it wasn’t even separate by “a few weeks later”, it was literally just one week. I can’t believe he got this so wrong.
2. “There was much back patting when my Charmcaster episode came out”. HUH? I sure as Hell don’t remember much in the way of back-patting; most people were disgusted by it and also still upset about the previous episode. This is flat-out revisionist history on Thorne’s part.
3. I truly believe that Charmcaster being “straight-up evil and not a little bit crazy” was NOT meant to be the take-away from “The Enemy of My Frenemy”, which is why it ended in the way it did. But because what Charmcaster did in that episode was fucking genocide, that’s still exactly the take-away many viewers took away from it, and if even Thorne has come out and admitted that it was his take-away from it too, then you KNOW that episode fucked up.
4. “These were adults, mind you” - aaah, so in spite of him previously throwing shade at live-action folks throwing shade at animation because it was seen as “kids’ stuff”, suddenly he’s throwing shade at adult fans of an animated series for being emotionally affected by it. What a fucking hypocrite. I guess the millions upon millions of adult viewers who were outraged by what befell Daenerys Targaryen of Game of Throne are justified because that show is live-action, but there’s something wrong with adult viewers if they have a problem with this?
5. The biggest insight here: there really wasn’t any communication between the writers of UAF...and what’s more, Dwayne McDuffie didn’t bother tightening up the scripts enough to make them consistent, nor apparently did he tell any of the writers crucial information they probably ought to know when writing their episodes. Why was Charmcaster’s behavior so different in “Couples Retreat” compared to where “The Enemy of My Frenemy” left off? Because Thorne didn’t know about that episode. Why did Kevin suddenly act hypocritically scornful toward Charmcaster in “Couples Retreat” despite empathizing with her at the end of “The Enemy of My Frenemy”? Because Thorne didn’t know about that episode! Heck, it was clearly McDuffie who put in lines like “Charmcaster killed us” in the final script, since that little detail took Thorne completely by surprise when “The Enemy of My Frenemy” aired. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Dwayne McDuffie SUCKED when it came to this franchise!
Thorne then talks of rude fan harassments he got afterward, and on this count I’m actually siding with him because that kind of crap is never acceptable. But then he gets to this, which he claims was an email response he gave to a certain belligerent fan before blocking them:
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Oooooh, now he’s doing the number thing! Convenient!
1. Maybe not intentionally, but you certainly have been spreading several falsehoods. 
Also, you actually used the “Internet Tough Guy” routine? Really?
2. Solid point, but I do question just how many kids were “amused and excited” by the stuff that UA, especially in its second season, did. I especially question how and why a creepy, dysfunctional, possibly ephebophilic relationship is supposed to “amuse and excite” children.
3. HIGHLY presumptuous. Not every show has the same effort put into it, and even on shows were effort is clearly being put into one or more department, other departments may suffer. Game of Thrones is one such example: the writers there admitted to not giving a crap. No matter how stellar the acting, music, design, effects, etc. were the whole way through, the writing suffered more and more and it ultimately decimated the positive view of the series.
4. OK, I will personally agree with that statement. Others, however, may not.
Case in point, this excerpt from the South Park episode “Free Hat”:
George Lucas: These are my movies. I made them, and I have the right to do whatever I want with them. Stan:  You're wrong, Mr. Lucas. They're not your movies. They're ours. All of ours. We paid to go see them, and they're just as much a part of our lives as they are of yours. Kyle: When an artist creates, whatever they create belongs to society.
For the record, I believe there is truth to be found in both arguments. I think the ideal stance is somewhere in the middle, where creators are allowed to be held more accountable by the public for the things they put out but are also not controlled and told what to create by fans. Sadly, at the moment I have no idea how such a system that would enable this would work.
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I post this last part because the replies it got from two Supercorp shippers are hilarious:
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In one ear, out the other. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.
But that does bring up a good final point: while the fictional nature of fictional characters should absolutely never be forgotten to the point where real people are being hurt (the Star Wars franchise has plenty of horror stories where that has happened) and it certainly sounds like there were some verifiable nuts who went after Thorne, there’s a difference between that kind of insane harassment and customers being able to use a platform to call out the creators when they feel like a huge disservice to characters who mean a lot to them has happened. Simply asking for some basic consistency and integrity to be maintained with fictional characters, or asking for creators to stop stringing fans of characters along with false promises like queerbaiting, is not unjustified. Again, I must bring up South Park here.
Kyle: I think... they are real. It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he... he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny and, a-and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of "real”? They might be imaginary, but, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us.
Fictional characters matter to people in ways that are real. Fiction can change the world.
And I don’t believe asking that those characters be treated well is a crime of any sort.
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squidprinceofwinterfell · 4 years ago
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Stick of Truth Commentary
Intro
Intro cut scene is a nice touch! The animation is nice, and it adds story and stakes to the game the boys are playing. Reminds me of “Lord of the Rings.”
I like how the boys see the stick as a golden staff, but it’s literally just…a stick.
Create your character
Fighter, Mage, Thief, Jew – which is the best and why?
Intro to New Kid and family
Dialogue between parents creates an ominous backstory. Who is looking for New Kid and why?
New Kid is a mute weirdo and I love it.
The first quest (making friends) reminds me of “The Sandlot.”
The shitting feature is awesome.
New Kid meets Butters and is brought to KKK
What exactly is the power of diabetes?
Chekov’s Clyde!
It’s cute how cool everyone is with Princess Kenny.
I like that every player is called Douchebag, but I wish every player didn’t have to play as a boy.
Elves attack
Funny how Cartman’s alarm is just Butters yelling “Alarm!”
Cartman has pretty good commentary when New Kid is fighting. I actually miss that later on.
How did the elves snag the stick? Either Clyde is a bad watchdog or Kyle is super strategic. I choose both.
New Kid must find Token, Tweek, and Craig
Token
I never knew Token was so rich that he had security! It’s probably to keep Cartman out.
I love that Token’s property is calling Dark Meadows.
Token: “The elves took the stick again?” Haha!
Tweek
Tweek is the only employee at Tweek Bros.? That’s called child labor!
I love that Mrs. McCormick thinks the meth heads in her garage are just nice renters. Is she being paid in meth?
Why would a 10-year-old boy be an undercover cop? Only in South Park.
Tweek was totally named after the word “tweeker.”
Craig
Craig is in detention for (of course) flipping off the principal. Is Principal Victoria still principal at this point?
Craig’s alias is Feldspar the Thief? I refuse to believe this isn’t a reference to Malcolm in the Middle.
On the “thief” option at the beginning, Cartman says he’s never seen a white thief before, yet Craig is a thief. Hmm…
“Heeeere they come…I’ll be outta here in ten minutes.” Smug, snarky Craig is the best Craig.
I like that Mackey seems to know he’s in a video game (by referencing the boss fight). It’s very Deadpool.
The Bard
The Inn of the Giggling Donkey is just Jimmy’s house. His living room is convincing as a bar/lounge/hangout.
Twitter = carrier raven
“There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow / She didn’t talk much, but boy did she swallow / I had a nice lance that she sat upon / The maiden from Stonebury who was also your mom.” I love Jimmy’s songs!
Butters: “No hurry, Douchebag. The princess is just being raped.” OMG
An elf was jumping on the bed to simulate raping Princess Kenny? The boys are really committed to this game.
Cartman: “Good job, Princess Gone Wild. Double D buddy powers.” Kenny flashing his man boobs is the best distraction tactic.
The Brown Note is Jimmy’s best attack.
“Welcome to the KKK!”
Alien abduction
Cartman’s fart lessons finally come in handy! New Kid’s ass is too strong to be probed.
I love that alien abduction is viewed as just another annoying part of living in South Park.
The guy from the recordings is the hobo hidden onboard, right?
The Nazi zombie hobo is the game’s first instance of the Nazi zombie plot. It tells us that the aliens are responsible for this when the ship crash lands to Earth and green goo gets in the sewer.
New Kid crashed an entire spaceship. He’s kind of a badass. And he gets to keep the alien probe!
The big bad government is involved now to deal with “another UFO crash.” How often does this happen??
Only South Park would try to pass off a UFO as construction of a Taco Bell. And only South Park citizens would believe it.
Recruitment (pt. 1)
All New Kid has to do to get the goth kids to join is put on black clothes. I’m glad to see they still have low standards.
New Kid finally meets Stan and Kyle! I’ve been waiting for this.
According to Kyle, Cartman lied about the stick being stolen and is hiding it. According to Cartman, Kyle is lying because New Kid can’t retrieve the stick if Kyle claims he doesn’t have it. It’s a game of “he said, she said” but I’m inclined to believe Kyle. This is Cartman we’re talking about…
PTA meeting
I’m disappointed no one yelled “Rabble, rabble!” at the PTA meeting.
Is no one else alarmed that Randy lured a young boy into the bathroom alone?
“That’s all you’ve got is a sign? At least crap on a desk or something!” Mr. Garrison is speaking highly of Cartman, I see.
She-Ogre
“Give me back my iPhone, DEMON!” This is an accurate depiction of a brother-sister relationship.
It’s adorable that Stan uses Sparky in battle.
Taco Bell
I love that the big bad government agents are such bad liars that they killed a guy asking about encharidos.
“Goddamn it! I’m so tired of Nazi zombies. It’s so…overused!” Haha!
I’m surprised the adults actually took the bombing threat seriously and weren’t bummed about no Taco Bell.
Recruitment (pt. 2)
The final goth test is DDR?? That’s so conformist.
Once you win the goth kids over, you can recruit them to either Cartman’s side or Kyle’s. I always pick Kyle’s side when I play this. I’ve been itching to betray Cartman since this game started!
South Park Elementary
The huge battle scene takes place at the school because it’s where Cartman supposedly hid the stick. South Park Elementary is busted and makes a great setting for a battle scene. More “Lord of the Rings” vibes!
New Kid’s farts help Kyle’s side get the upper hand. Take that, Cartman!
Another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: New Kid’s battle against Butters is more impactful because he was New Kid’s first friend. If it was a face off against Stan, it wouldn’t be as emotional.
The final battle gives New Kid one last chance to pick a side. Like Stan says, “I can’t believe this is even a choice.” Kyle vs Cartman is like Chanel vs Walmart.
Yet another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: Cartman’s farting fire at the end of this fight is one of the best scenes of the whole game.
Clyde
I love the twist where neither Kyle nor Cartman was lying. Clyde really punked the fuck out of everyone.
Kyle is the only one to acknowledge he’s aware of the green goo and how dangerous it is.
Stan: “Clyde, but why?” Cartman: “I banished him to be lost in space and time and now he’s all pissed off.” Haha!
Clyde’s fortress is so badass. I can see the appeal of the dark side.
How the hell does Clyde have control over the Nazi zombies??
I love that Clyde’s power move is keeping his friends out past their bedtimes. The stakes are higher now, but this reminds us this is still a kid’s game…or it started as one.
Underpants gnomes
Gnomes: “The kid is awake! What do we do?” “Oh, fuck, I guess we gotta kill him!” Me problem solving.
Since when do underpants gnomes have warlocks?? I thought they were all failed businessmen.
For some reason, high pitched gnome voices yelling “Oh, fuck!” is really funny to me.
New Kid fighting underneath his giant parents mid-coitus is another iconic fight scene. How many times must New Kid dodge his dad’s ballsack?? The kid is hardcore.
The girls
Kyle convinces everyone to team up against Clyde. I’m continually impressed by Kyle because of his leadership, intellect (he spent all night researching), and open mind (he doesn’t balk at teaming up with the humans or inviting girls to play). I’m totally Team Kyle, if you haven’t noticed.
I love that the girls blindfold New Kid when they bring him to their lair. That’s some Mafia shit.
Annie: “He…doesn’t really talk.” Bebe: “That’s hot!” ME
Sunshine, sparkle, glitter…I wanna talk like this all the time.
Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch! That’s very Mrs. Cartman of her.
Abortion clinic
New Kid’s abortion doctor is named Dr. Poonlover because of course he is
The big bad government is doing Plan B at the abortion clinic. Clever joke!
Where did Randy get that blonde wig from?? The men in South Park cross-dress so much.
Khloe Kardashian’s aborted fetus as a Nazi zombie is also a legendary fight.
Canada
New Kid didn’t get that his photographer was a pedophile even when he was almost butt naked?? Also, who was that guy who jumps out from behind the boxes?
The layout of Canada is clearly a parody of Pokemon games, right? Either way, I love it. The shitty jpeg videogame look is very Canada.
“They’re like wolves, but they’re dire.”
Getting trained by Terrance and Phillip makes all this back and forth bullshit worth it.
Clyde’s fortress
Of course Cartman butts in when Kyle’s trying to give an inspirational speech. What an attention hog!
It’s funny to me how easily Craig switched to Clyde’s side. Loyalty much??
“I really found myself relating to Clyde’s views about darkness and enslaving the world.” Jesus, Craig!
Cartman’s negative reaction to electricity is a callback to the chip put in his head in Bigger, Longer & Uncut.
“It’s my favorite kid!” WOW, RANDY
“Who could it be?” I love how long New Kid lets them all wonder before he steps up.
Stan: “Dude, that’s not Taco Bell sauce.” Clyde: “Then why’d I find it at the Taco Bell?” A+ logic
How dare you, Clyde! Let Chef rest in peace!
Government interruption
“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok…” Vampires exist in this universe??
I love that the boys don’t care about the big bad government’s scheme.
So New Kid’s special power is making friends on social media! I should’ve known.
Princess Kenny’s betrayal
Princess Kenny planned to steal the stick all along! This game is full of betrayals.
Kenny makes a pretty cute anime princess. Nazi zombie? Not so much.
Princess Kenny is a badass final boss. And I never saw it coming!
I’m glad the “never fart on someone’s balls” joke meant something in the end. I can see why it was banned – it’s super deadly!
End
The boys unite to save friendship and love…by chucking a stick into a lake.
New Kid stole Cartman’s catchphrase!
Why did Al Gore appear so ominously at the end?? What are you gonna do to the kids, Al Gore??
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numbuh-1507 · 5 years ago
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A random comic idea I had. A crossover between Invader Zim and TBS' Neighbors from Hell. Now, you may be wondering: what is "Neigbors from Hell"? It was a 2010 adult cartoon that aired in TBS, created by Pam Brady. It follows the Hellmans, a family of demons sent to infiltrate the surface world to stop a drill that is powerful enough to reach the center of the Earth, where Hell is located. It's more or less "Invader Zim" with the typical dark comedy and kafka humor, with a few shock factors and swearing. Like IZ, the show was also cancelled because of poor ratings, but it only lasted 10 episodes. It was temporarily avaiable on Netflix, but not anymore. I found out about it a year or so while searching for that game with the same name. Reception-wise, it seems to be mixed, mostly because of the satanic overtones, tasteless shock humor that you would find on Family Guy or South Park and typical sitcom scenarios that turned people away from it. Rotten Tomatoes wasn't fond of it, and there's very few fanart of it, mostly lewd of Tina (Balthazor's wife) and Mandy (his daughter). In twitter, most people that like it come from Brazil, which is also my birthplace, so this must be why the show is such a guilty pleasure for me. elixirXsczjX13 was probably the one that drew the most "clean" fanart of the show and even created a club for it (which I'm part of), but she hasn't been active for years. She probably doesn't even like the show anymore. If she's still alive that is. Anyway, since Zim has some things in common with the Hellmans, I thought about making a crossover comic about it. aftertaster7 has already beat me to it, but I guess the more the merrier. I almost used Zim's green color on Balthazor here, but decided against it afterwards. Dib's thought balloon was merely to fill up space. I tried to use Filler Bunny for this one, but it didn't work. You can learn more about NFH here:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neighbors_from_Hell https://www.awn.com/animationworld/.....neighbors-hell As usual: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon Neighbors from Hell belongs to Pam Brady and TBS
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jonesaf · 5 years ago
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more soccer AU positions
(lowkey cont. from this)
America: Forward. For much the same reason as Denmark is a forward tbh. He’s a rookie playing his first season in a top-tier league, a total goober off the field, but don’t be fooled by his boyish grin --- this boy is ambitious as hell. When he’s out on the pitch, he’s surprisingly tactful and utterly merciless; he doesn’t care if they’re up 5-0, he’s gonna keep going for goal. He’s kind of a jerk on the field honestly; he’s young and his emotions get the better of him at times, and just like Den, he wants every single goal, but his style isn’t as aggressive as Denmark’s overall: his fouls are usually tactical and he’s mostly just making himself a nuisance for the opposing team --- particularly by nutmegging other players, one of his absolute favorite things to do. (It gets him in trouble. A lot.) His platforms of choice are Snapchat and Instagram, 80% of which are selfies, but also gets surprisingly political over on Twitter. He likes to hang out with kids at the park or the academy, and young fans at the stadium too, because he was one of them not too long ago and he really wants soccer to get bigger in the U.S. Much like Denmark, you either love him or hate him, there’s no in-between with this kid.
Canada: Defender (winger) Alfred’s twin brother. It’s something commentators love to talk about, because he plays in Canada, which also competes in MLS --- and I’m gonna namedrop Toronto FC here because I feel like the atmosphere suits him better than Montreal or Vancouver --- which means that the two of them are always pitted against each other, at least outside of the national team. It’s the trend we’re all familiar with: Matthew is the quieter one, keeps to himself, doesn’t do as many interviews, and isn’t a striker, so 8 times out of 10 when people are talking about him, it’s in comparison with his brother. He’s used to it, though it’s not entirely fair; Matthew is just as intense on the field as he is mild off of it, he’s just as fast as Alfred (and they are fast, holy jesus), just as skilled with the ball, and it doesn’t take long before he’s a regular in the starting lineup. This boy will shut you down. He’s the player you don’t really know anything about, but you always want him on the field, ‘cause nobody can get past this kid.
England: Coach. Previously an attacking midfielder in his playing days; all the good parts of maintaining a solid midfield, with the added bonus of scoring goals. Still young enough that Alfred and Matthew remember watching him play whenever English football was on TV, but retired due to problems with injuries; he had a rather hot-headed style of play back then that led to a lot of collisions and fouls. Tends to be hard on his players. Sometimes a little too hard --- nitpicky, one could even say, communication isn’t always his best skill --- but it’s all in the name of good football, you see. He’s not disappointed in you because you suck, he’s disappointed because what you’re doing sucks, and he knows you can be better, so what on earth was that performance? Known for getting, uh. Passionate, shall we say, on the sidelines. Probably coaching Alfred’s team. Also probably grooming Alfred to be captain one day. Maybe also putting a little too much pressure on him as a result...they’ll probably be fine...
France: Retired forward. To quote F. Scott Fitzgerald, “One of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savors of anti-climax.” Was a star for a hot minute in his day, and probably played for a club that likes to collect star players like Paris Saint-Germain. His career came to a head somewhat early with France’s 1998 World Cup win --- that, combined with the seasons right before and after, was his best run, and something he’s still incredibly proud of. Retired early, perhaps due to injury or because he wasn’t enjoying it enough anymore, and is now in some completely unrelated industry like teaching culinary arts for kids. Still an avid football fan, however, and probably the owner of a club somewhere. A bit of a strange man, very French, but you can’t help but like him. He’s so charming... Small aside: Could perhaps be Alfred and Matthew’s weird uncle. Definitely something going on between him and Arthur. Friends? Rivals? Secret lovers? All of the above? Rumors and theories abound, but nothing has been proven.
Germany: Defender (center-back, vice-captain). This man takes “defending champions of the world” very seriously. Ludwig Beilschmidt is a one-man wall. He’s still young, close to Alfred’s age, but he’s been playing football since he was old enough to kick a ball, and he’s on his way to being one of the best defenders to come out of Germany. Would make a great goalkeeper too, and actually started out as one in his youth, but he wants to be in on the action and influencing the game. Very good at reading the situation. Also very precise, great for corner kicks, intercepting the ball, and long passes. His ambition and hard work mostly serve him well, although he does have a tendency to stress about his performance and dwell way too much on mistakes, which can trip him up and cause a cycle of frustration. It’s just really important to him. Dude is intense. Which is funny, because he’s actually pretty sweet IRL; stern-faced and awkward, but well-meaning. Isn’t on social media much, but his instagram is almost exclusively pictures and videos of his cat and dogs. He’s either a blessing or a curse, depending on which team you’re rooting for.
BONUS
Prussia: Retired defender (left-back, captain). Battled with some chronic health problems before a career-ending injury finally forced him to quit early, but still embedded in the industry somehow; coaching or working with an academy would probably suit him. He’s just as intense as his baby brother (whose praises he will sing at every opportunity as long as Ludwig’s not within earshot; despite his teasing, he’s very proud), but he’s an awesome good mentor and has a deep respect for the sport. Keeping his eye on the growing American soccer market... Small aside: a big fan of the German club Eintracht Frankfurt. There’s just something about that white&black + eagle combination that really...speaks to him...plus, how much more awesome can you get than having an actual, real live eagle as a mascot? Named Attila?! Only if Gilbert himself were playing for them could they ever be more awesome than that.
Japan: Dude is one of the best FIFA19 players you’ve ever seen. Ever. Has a degree in web design or programming, but he’s made his career out of being really damn good at FIFA. Practically an eSports legend. You think eSports is dumb? You think it’s just a video game? Just watch this guy.
China: He’s been here so long he’s played pretty much every position, and he’s not going anywhere any time soon. He’s that player who seems to have been around since the dawn of time, and yet somehow hasn’t aged a day since he turned 30. Probably immortal. May, in fact, never retire, but if he did, he’d still be breaking records for longest coaching career in the history of football.
Mexico: One of the voices urging her country to put more into women’s soccer. Although soccer is incredibly popular in South America, it’s also incredibly male-dominated; women’s soccer teams are largely amateur, and the women’s national team relies heavily on Mexican diaspora in other countries like the USA. It’s so important to her to be nothing less than absolutely outstanding, and boy oh boy, she is. I’m not sure what position she’d play, but I get the feeling she’d be very versatile on the field no matter what. This girl is out there working her ass off every single day.
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lettadalokislayter · 6 years ago
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TMI
I’m feeling adventurous and talkative today. So here is a list of useless facts about me. 
I am 21, gonna be 22 in June.
I share a birthday with Anne Frank. 
My first name is Lura. Not Laura, nor Lara. I go by Lainey.
Onision’s ex girlfriend/wife/whatever was the only person in the world who I had ever seen have the same spelling. 
I am pansexual (or at least I think I am). I love just about anybody, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality. If you’re looking damn fine, then boi (or preferred pronoun), am I gonna be thinkin about you later, regardless of what’s in the trunk. 
I am cisgender and white. I’m too white. I can’t even handle black pepper on my eggs. 
I have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. I say ADD, because that was what they diagnosed me as at the time. I’m on and off medication, because anxiety is fun. 
I am actually born and raised in Alabama. Not a fan. The only thing I really admire about the state is how pretty the farmers markets are, and the Zelda Fitzgerald legacy.
I legit live down the street from that Taco Bell that burned down and had a funeral hosted for it. They left it like that until about 3 weeks ago, where they’re rebuilding it. I’m super happy about that, because I have drive across town for my taco bell.
When I was in high-school, I was a percussionist, but I mostly played the marimba and xylophone. My high-school was too poor for vibes. 
I have strange and unusual dreams, that I really should just make a tumblr dedicated to them. 
Literally, on Monday I had a dream that I met Napoleon Dynamite giving tours of Target and he gave me a fistbump, and I was bragging about it to everyone in the dream like Napoleon Dynamite giving tours of Target is a normal thing, like how Johnny Depp goes to children’s hospitals as Captain Jack.
I love the heat and humidity. I can’t stand the cold. But boy do I love Florida. It’s like living in the world’s biggest humidifier, and if that feeling intensifies closer to the equator sign me the fuck up. 
If you wanna see white arrogance in Alabama, go to Prattville. These people are the absolute worst. A majority of them grew up in Montgomery, but moved because they felt “unsafe” when family of color moves into their tight neighborhoods. I swear to god. They call themselves the “preferred community”.  Every time have to drive through there, I need a goddamn shower.
I’m a huge fan of comedy, even if it’s not so politically correct. When I was a kid, my dad and I would bond over HBO comedy specials, such as Sam Kinison, and Andrew Dice Clay, and Ralphie May. I got into Dave Chappelle as I got older. 
I know some of the above comedians are controversial, so laying it down here. I don’t think that the things you make fun of as a comedian reflect who you are inside. iDubbbz makes a very good point, that being offended is fine and good, just as long as you aren’t shitting on anyone when you’re no better yourself. 
When I was growing up, I went to a private christian school, with uniforms and everything. It was mostly Church of Christ teachings, though I was baptized Methodist. I’m now a hopeful agnostic. 
I don’t attend church because I struggle with the rude idea that everyone in the world is going to hell. 
If I were born anywhere else, I’d probably be a mormon though (not really though if I’m being correct). I think the Bible has a lot of good messages in it, and it’s a good thing to grow up reading, but people take it way too literally. 
If you couldn’t tell by now my favorite musical is the Book of Mormon. 
The last two songs I’ve been blasting have been Yeah Right by Joji, and The Suburbs by Arcane Fire. 
My favorite TV shows right now range between Bob’s Burgers (because Bob reminds me so fucking much of Joji), and South Park. South Park is hated on more than I think it should be, because it really takes a lot of thought and research to make fun of something, and they are spectacular in doing that. 
My favorite Youtuber right now would have to be Max Stanley of course, because what a beautiful shit(er, vomit)poster he is. I love his Pokemon vids, to a point where he’s really made me debate on starting a collection. I also think he’s an extraordinary director when it comes to content, because let’s be honest, he totally directed HTB’s face reveal vid. 
I created a twitter solely to follow Max because he is the world’s snidest fucker. 
I’m about to finish college with an Associates in Computer Information Systems with a Cisco Networking emphasis, though I enjoy programming more. 
That said, while I love programming, I’m only really good at simple shit.
For example, for a Java midterm we were supposed to create a complex program full of booleans (that’s fancy for True or False, but you can also sometimes refer to them as If Else statements). I made this huge complex program where you put in the temperature reading, and it would calculate it as Fahrenheit or Celsius, depending on the input. And then it would tell you if it was hot, mild, cool, cold, or if you did extreme temperatures, it would display the coldest point on Earth, the hottest place on Earth, and the Sun. I even included some decent ASCII art. 
But one fucker in my class made fucking flappy bird. 
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cardest · 4 years ago
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Arizona & Utah playlist
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Imagine if you will going on a road trip, say from Salt Lake City in Utah, down to the Grand Canyon and Arizona, finishing your road adventure in Phoenix. This is that playlist for that experience. You could even head out of Vegas and yes, I have a Las Vegas playlist I will post later. Along your journey you will cross a desert landscape, see Navajo heritage sites, do a Hopi dance, see a deep canyon or two and pass an outlaw on the run perhaps! Oh and Alice Cooper calls Arizona home too. I went to Cooperstown in Phoenix in 2008. I guess it’s not there now.
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Are there any songs I forgot to put into this playlist? Let me know!
001 The Night Flight Orchestra - Speedwagon 002 Yello -  Desert Inn 003 Chirs LeDoux - Rodeo trails 004 Brian Eno - Crime In the Desert 005 Visigoth - Warrior Queen topless 006 Subrosa -  Killing Rapture 007 Metallica - Wherever I may roam 008 Riders in the Sky - Utah Trail 009 Cryogenics - Utah 010 Pere Ubu - Road to Utah 011 Pat Benatar    - Outlaw Blues 012 Stan Ridgway - Lonely Town   013 South Park - Joseph Smith 014 Tomahawk -  Crow Dance 015 Warren Zevon - Wanted Dead Or Alive 016 Canned Heat - Go To Utah 017 Ute Mountain Ute Tribe - Beardance 018 The Mormon Wankeraters - Utah State Song 019 ORDEN OGAN - Gunman 020 Lindemann - Cowboy 021 The Eagles - Outlaw Man 022 Dr and the Crippens - Ever Been to Utah? 023 Royal Bliss - Hard and Loud 024 Tomahawk - Sun Dance 025 Earth - Left in the Desert 026 Gordon Lightfoot - Somewhere U.S.A. 027 Invdrs - Great Beast 666 028 The Adverts - Gary Gilmores Eyes 029 Cult Leader  - I Am Healed 030 THE DITCH AND THE DELTA - TILL BODY QUITS 031 Elton John - Indian Sunset 032 Unsane - Road Trip 033 Alice In Chains - The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here 034 Subrosa - Wound Of The Warden 035 Billy Thop Robbins - The Red Hills of Utah 036 Jane's Addiction - Mountain Song 037 Dead Can Dance -  Desert Song 038 Prince - Mountains 039 Randy Newman - The Beehive State 040 Nelson - You Call That A Mountain? 044 UBIK - John Wayne (Is a Cowboy (And Is on Twitter)) 045 BEach Boys - Salt Lake City 046 The Ding - Dong Daddy of the D-Car Line 047 Marko Robbins - Utah Carol 048 Sympthony Pain - Bleak World 049 Billy Joel - The Ballad of Billy the Kid 050 Team America OST - America! Fukk yeah! 051 Navajo Early Morning Blessing 052 Dwarves - Salt Lake City 053 The Cult -  Indian 054 Bobby Bare - Salt Lake City 055 Peggy Lee - I Left My Sugar (In Salt Lake City) 056 The Vandals - Desert Woman 057 The Escape Club - Wild Wild West 058 Gravecode Nebula  - Sempiternal Void 059 The Samples - Dinosaur Bones 060 Pavement -  Half a Canyon 061 Ministry -  Warp City 062 Pixies - Palace of the Brine 063 Johnny Cash - Lost on the Desert 064 The Electric Prunes - Hey Mr. President 065 Tomahawk - Red Fox 066 Philip Glass - koyaanisqatsi 067 Van Halen - D.O.A. 068 Deep Purple - Mitzi Dupree (The House of Blue Lights) 069 Fu Manchu - Coyote Duster 070 Brandon Fiechter- Tumbleweed Town 071 America -  A Horse With No Name 072 David Bowie - Cactus 073 Life and Limb - Snakebite 074 Metallica - I disappear 075 Aerosmith - S.O.S (Too Bad) 076 Red Hot Chili Peppers - Apache Rose Peacock 077 Slayer -  Dissident Aggressor 078 MD 45 - The Creed 079 Soulfly - Prophecy 080 Violent Femmes -  Cold Canyon 081 The Devin Townsend Band - Traveller 082 Landmine Marathon -  Three Snake Leaves 083 Sacred Reich -  Awakening 084 Oxford Coma - Smack & Temporary Enlightenment 085 Meat Puppets - We Don't Exist 086 Clutch -  King Of Arizona 087 Kayo Dot -  Symmetrical Arizona 088 Atrophy - Violent by Nature 089 Mark Lindsey - Arizona 090 The Eagles - Take It Easy 091 Clark Tenakhongva - Zuni cloud burst 092 Los Lobos - Arizona Skies 093 Cavalera Conspiracy -  Lynch Mob 094 Los Straightjackets - Arizona Sunset 095 Johnny Cash - Apache Tears 096 The Cult - American Horse 097 Spider John Koerner - Rattlesnake 098 Tomahawk - Antelope Ceremony 099 Ted Nugent - Geronimo And Me 100 Alice Cooper - Go to Hell 101 The Beatles - Get Back 102 Neil Young - Cowgirl in the Sand 103 Luiz Bonfa - Apache talk 104 Marty Robbins - Big Iron 105 Megadeth - Five Magics 106 FIGHT - Into the Pit 107 The Eagles - The Last Resort 108 TOOL - Parabola 109 The Doors - Indian Summer 110 Charley Pride - Is Anybody Goin' to San Antone 111 Soulfly - Bleak 112 Glenn Campbell - By The Time I Get To Phoenix 113 Lycia - In Flickers 114 Courtney Marie Andrews - Old Flowers 115 Saxon - Forever Free 116 Sacred Reich - Free 117 The Cult - Ceremony 118 Faith No More - RV 119 The Okee Dokee Brothers - Jackalope 120 The Magnificent Seven Theme song 121 Alice Cooper - Billion dollar babies 122 Faster Pussycat - Arizona Indian Doll 123 King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard -  Barefoot Desert 124 Stevie Knicks - Edge of Seventeen 125 Bachman Turner Overdrive - Roll On Down The Highway 126 Gatecreeper - Deserted 127 The Obsessed - Tombstone Highway 128 Scorpions -  Arizona 129 Desert Sessions - The Gosso King of Crater Lake 130 Flotsam and Jetsam -Metalshock 131 Jimmy Knight Jr  - Healing Song - 1 132 Spirit Adrift - Divided by Darkness 133 Queens Of The Stone Age -  The Sky Is Fallin' 134 THE TIME TUNNEL theme song 135 Sacred Reich - One Nation 136 Dan Fogelberg - Tucson, Arizona (Gazette) 137 Cavalera Conspiracy -  I, Barbarian 138 REALIZE - Disappear 139 Rick Skaggz - Highway 40 Blues 140 Route 66 - The Rolling Stones 141 TOOL - Vicarious 142 Jimmy Smith - Strut 144 Lee Hazelwood - The Fool 145 MSG - Paradise 146 Duane Eddy - Rebel Rouser 147 Chuck Berry - Route 66 148 Alice Cooper - Devil's Food 149 Rickie Lee Jones - Chuck E.'s In Love 150 Slayer - Skeletons Of Society 151 Vektor - Charging the Void 152 Holy Fawn - Drag Me Into The Woods 153 Meat Puppets - Mirage 154 Askuali lolomani  - (thank you for all the blessings) Hopi Chant 155 Public Enemy - By The Time I Get To Arizona 156 Marty Robbins Sings Tumbling Tumbleweeds 157 TUFF - Ruck a Pit Bridge 158 Halford - Made in hell 159 Flotsam and Jetsam-Natural enemies 160 Linda Rondstadt - Nobody's 161 Sam Moore & Lou Reed - Soul Man 162 Puscifer - Apocalyptical 163 Atrophy - Killing machine 164 Sepultura - subtraction 165 Alice Cooper - Teenage Frankenstein 666 The Cult - Wild Hearted Son
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limejuicer1862 · 4 years ago
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*
My goal in life is the destruction of 5G masts. I cut my sandwich into triangles as a lower-middle class pretension. Back outside, my window, one time, a cream room, a view of the street’s antenna. The problem with David Lynch is how he makes too much sense. Back in the simulacrum, a boy, my age, rangers in North America, first as tragedy, then as… ironing out our balaclavas, filling out our milk bottles; backpacks unattended on park benches, on the bus.
*
A page of Baudrillard, hides the truth to view witnesses fraying little by little into ruins, discernible ruined empire, rotting carcass of the soil double ends simulation, this fabled second-order no longer that of a territory, no longer saturated, a hyperreal map one must
return without origin, shreds unusable a questionable sovereign difference – the charm abstraction, the coextensivity of poetry, the representation produced no imaginary. Operational, in fact, no longer memory radiating synthesis, no space without atmosphere, no worse
curvature. Imitation, nor duplication; leaving room for simulated liquidation.
-Alex Mazey
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.the title changes.
there is too much interference things could be left alone things were alright anyway
the battery is low yet plugged in the radio buzzes.
things are distorted
so i did what he says, whilst running up and down the stairs.
source to av, only there aint no av, not on that one anyhow.
press my scart lead, that is probably it.
press the sky button, the sky does not respond.
we still has television snow.
mine are bifocal and can distort gently if i concentrate poorly on the centre i have had help a while grateful at least that i can see unlike some of my family
yesterday I watched a documentary about monkeys
-sonja benskin mesher
The new starboard
Our larvae split their skin in the signal-fry, warmed over by the wire-witched currents of one filigree moon in a hundredweight sky
and if we no longer see the stars how do they counsel a chart for a new grub, or pull a blood’s spirit-iron toward the dissolving north
and if we no longer feel these waves how may we know our own water, what deeps us for the giddy bubble of this sailing. And I know
there are rocks here still, they make chimneys of it to vent everything we can’t burn railing sparks against the sky- silver that meshes none of our tides true
and it will rain hot tonight, the sizzle pelting the new hatchlings
-Ankh Spice
Of Forest And Stick
Foe forest, faux forest fee-fi-fo forest. Where giants hurl their broken stories from broadcast heaven to stone cast ground. Real, this least of things.
Inarticulate metal arms pluck down your dreams, to place within the flakes of soul slow dying desiccation.
Sick insects wave. These metal poles sway clamped to roof and breast.
All point as one, their martyr fingers show. As minds walk psychotic in their circular days.
To stars and planets that orbit our night sleep late night drunk deep on their celestial milky ways.
Antennae wave hello. Behind smudged glass walls as we sit and stare into this aquarium hell of our own making.
As we spread across our furniture of forked cartons, plastic and messy despair We start to take on our corrupt story.
https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/of-forest-and-stick.m4a
© Dai Fry 4th May 2020.
Reception
Quiet the cluttered airways. Listen. Too many voices reaching skyward, Clamoring for reception, Propelling selfhood upward,
Destroys collaborative Synergy. And interference causes failure. After all, Man-made towers were only Ever meant to fall.
https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/reception.m4a
-st
Every Stem Is
an aerial, antennae whose signal carries an image and a sound of growth and bloom.
Leaves are directors, flagellum, reach out, test the air and vibrations.
Listen can your hear the messages, or is it distorted,
image overlaid on image, sound overlaid on sound?
It processes fake news, phishing and cyber attacks. discerns real from false. scents and trails.
A filter bubble, an information sceptic decides what diminishes it, what makes it grow.
what makes it turn towards warmth, towards brightness.
More than a conduit.
-Paul Brookes
effluorescence
concrete flowerbed: aluminium amaranths dream of fecund earth
-Rich Follett
These gray structures loom Like a dead alloy forest A mill’s epitaph
-Carrie Ann Golden
The Arrival (EEN)
Blue eclipse sudden shudder silver vibrations strange sensations mauve hues silent screams shattered dreams rainbow screams black void bleak skies pink cries identity hides no way out seek beware who goes there wait stop where no here why there marble hush turquoise crush hide smile cry illusion confusion static wailing connections failing conscience melting blood moon a light alight powder dawn seek destroy rebuild regenerate no rescue failed sight emerald night pyramid flight incoming yellow tongue purple feast horrible sightings a drone atone leave us alone lavender glass chards charge cut chaos comet rush – Reverse
https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/the-arrival-een-mp3.mp3
The Arrival (TWEE)
Falling earth new birth cosmic boom blast break away descend evacuate take position brace brave pathetic beast eject object reject investigate attack no way back hold blinding strobe light up get up move no room fire storm go swerve dive testing resting make haste chase erase record a face strange days delete reboot reverse rethink incoming homecoming survive surrender sharp solar bursts the thirst implosion ration succession orchestration new nation sinking earth toxic rebirth black hole tar soul screeching silence severed signals strange sour suns
https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/the-arrival-twee-mp3.mp3
-Don Beukes
Bios and Links
-Alex Mazey
(b.1991) received his MA (distinction) from Keele University in 2017. He later won The Roy Fisher Prize for Poetry with his debut pamphlet, ‘Bread and Salt’ (Flarestack, TBA). He was also the recipient of a Creative Future Writers’ Award in 2019. His poetry has featured regularly in anthologies and literary press magazines, most notably in The London Magazine. His collection of essays, ‘Living in Disneyland’, will be available from Broken Sleep Books in October 2020. Alex spent 2018 as a resident of The People’s Republic of China, where he taught the English Language in a school run by the Ministry of Education. His writing has been described as ‘wry and knowing,’ with ‘an edge that tears rather than cuts or deals blows.’
Twitter: @AlexzanderMazey
Instagram: alexmazey
Here is my interview of Alex:
https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/12/18/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-alex-mazey/
-Rich Follett
is a High School English and Creative Writing teacher who has been writing poems and songs for more than forty years. His poems have been featured in numerous online and print journals, including BlazeVox, The Montucky Review, Paraphilia, Leaf Garden Press and the late Felino Soriano’s CounterExample Poetics, for which he was a featured artist. Three volumes of poetry, Responsorials (with Constance Stadler), Silence, Inhabited, and Human &c. are available through NeoPoiesis Press (www.neopoiesispress.com.)
As a singer-songwriter, Rich has released five albums of independent contemporary folk music. His latest. Somewhere in the Stars, is available at http://www.richfollett.com. He lives with his wife Mary Ruth Alred Follett in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, where he also pursues his interests as a professional actor, playwright, and director.
-Ankh Spice
is a sea-obsessed poet from Aotearoa (NZ). His poetry has appeared in a wide range of international publications and has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. He truly believes that words have the power to change the place we’re in, and you’ll find him doing his best to prove it on
Twitter: @SeaGoatScreams or on Facebook: @AnkhSpiceSeaGoatScreamsPoetry
-Carrie Ann Golden
is a deafblind writer from the mystical Adirondack Mountains now living on a farmstead in northeastern North Dakota. She writes dark fiction and poetry. Her work has been published in places like Piker Press, Edify Fiction, Doll Hospital Journal, The Hungry Chimera, GFT Press, Asylum Ink, and Visual Verse.
-sonja benskin mesher
born , Bournemouth.
now
lives and works in North Wales as an independent artist
‘i am a multidisciplinary artist, crafting paint, charcoal, words and whatever comes to hand, to explain ideas and issues
words have not come easily. I draw on experience, remember and write. speak of a small life’.
Elected as a member of the Royal Cambrian Academy and the United Artists Society The work has been in solo exhibitions through Wales and England, and in selected and solo worldwide. Much of the work is now in both private, and public collections, and has been featured in several television documentaries, radio programmes and magazines.
Here is my interview of sonja benskin mesher:
https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/10/16/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-sonja-benskin-mesher/
-Samantha Terrell
is an American poet whose work emphasizes emotional integrity and social justice. She is the author of several eBooks including, Learning from Pompeii, Coffee for Neanderthals, Disgracing Lady Justice and others, available on smashwords.com and its affiliates.Chapbook: Ebola (West Chester University Poetry Center, 2014)
Website: poetrybysamantha.weebly.com Twitter: @honestypoetry
Here is my 2020 interview of her:
https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2020/04/08/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-samantha-terrell/
-Don Beukes
is a South African and British writer. He is the author of ‘The Salamander Chronicles’ (CTU) and ‘Icarus Rising-Volume 1’ (ABP), an ekphrastic collection. He taught English and Geography in both South Africa and the UK. His poetry has been anthologized in numerous collections and translated into Afrikaans, Persian, French and Albanian. He was nominated by Roxana Nastase, editor of Scarlet Leaf Review for the ‘Best of the Net’ in 2017 as well as the Pushcart Poetry Prize (USA) in 2016. He was published in his first SA Anthology ‘In Pursuit of Poetic Perfection’ in 2018 (Libbo Publishers) and his second ‘Cape Sounds’ in 2019 (Gavin Joachims Publishing). He is also an amateur photographer and his debut Photographic publication appeared in Spirit Fire Review in June 2019. His new book, ‘Sic Transit Gloria Mundi’/Thus Passes the Glory of this World’ is due to be published by Concrete Mist Press.
Here is my interview of Don Beukes:
https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/11/02/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-don-beukes/
-Dai Fry
is an old new poet. He worked in social care but now has no day job. A keen photographer and eater of literature and lurid covers. Fascinated by nature, physics, pagans, sea and storm. His poetry seeks to capture image and tell philosophical tales. Published in Black Bough Poetry, Re-Side, The Hellebore Press and the Pangolin Review. He can be seen reading on #InternationalPoetryCircle and regularly appears on #TopTweetTuesday. Twitter. @thnargg Web seekingthedarklight.co.uk
Audio/Visual. @IntPoetryCircle #InternationalPoetryCircle Twitter #TopTweetTuesday
-Paul Brookes
is a shop asst. Lives in a cat house full of teddy bears. His chapbooks include The Fabulous Invention Of Barnsley, (Dearne Community Arts, 1993). The Headpoke and Firewedding (Alien Buddha Press, 2017), A World Where and She Needs That Edge (Nixes Mate Press, 2017, 2018) The Spermbot Blues (OpPRESS, 2017), Port Of Souls (Alien Buddha Press, 2018), Please Take Change (Cyberwit.net, 2018), Stubborn Sod, with Marcel Herms (artist) (Alien Buddha Press, 2019), As Folk Over Yonder ( Afterworld Books, 2019). Forthcoming Khoshhali with Hiva Moazed (artist), Our Ghost’s Holiday (Final book of threesome “A Pagan’s Year”) . He is a contributing writer of Literati Magazine and Editor of Wombwell Rainbow Interviews.
-Mary Frances
is an artist and writer based in the UK. She takes a few photos every day, for inspiration and to use in her work. The images for this project were all taken in the last two years on walks during in the month of May. Her words and images have been published by Penteract Press, Metambesen, Ice Floe Press, Burning House Press, Inside the Outside, Luvina Rivista Literaria, and Lone Women in Flashes of Wilderness. Twitter: @maryfrancesness
-James Knight
is an experimental poet and digital artist. His books include Void Voices (Hesterglock Press) and Self Portrait by Night (Sampson Low). His visual poems have been published in several places, including the Penteract Press anthology Reflections and Temporary Spaces (Pamenar Press). Chimera, a book of visual poems, is due from Penteract Press in July 2020.
Website: thebirdking.com.
Twitter: @badbadpoet
Here is my interview of James Knight:
https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/01/06/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-james-knight/
-Sue Harpham
is an admin worker, currently not in work Married, 2 sons. Loves poetry and words. She considers herself a writer of scribble rather than a poet. She has written a novel and is using her spare time to finally get it published (self-publishing) which has been an ambition of her for the last 10 years.
Welcome to a special ekphrastic challenge for May. Artworks from Mary Frances, James Knight and Sue Harpham will be the inspiration for writers, Alex Mazey, Ankh Spice, Samantha Terrell, Dai Fry, Carrie Ann Golden, sonja benskin mesher, Rich Follett, Don Beukes and myself. May 5th. * My goal in life is the destruction of 5G masts. I cut my sandwich into triangles as a lower-middle class pretension.
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blame-canada · 7 years ago
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Tempt a Demon, Pay the Price
Craig Tucker was not religious in any sense of the term, but money was money, and Eric Cartman was convincing. Becoming a cheesy sideshow of a falsified church was not his idea of a good time, but a wild encounter he’d never have expected might turn that around. 
Hey guys so uhhh I definitely wrote this. Imp Tweek x Youth Pastor Craig has kind of exploded and I wanted to join in on the fun but since drawing isn’t really my thing, I figured writing would have to do. I actually like this one despite it being cracky so hopefully you guys do too! Link to AO3 here! Here’s some uhh, yeah. Some of this. Special thanks to Phone Destroyer for gifting us these ridiculous AUs.
Note: alternatively titled ‘The Gayte To Hell.’ I loved myself too much to actually go through with it, sorry.
Performing fake exorcisms and reading off the same script twice a week in a rotation of four major themes was not how Craig expected his adolescence to go. Surely, he thought, there would be one or two summer flings which would end in melodramatic heartbreak, and a few obsessions to cycle through in ridiculous phases he’d insist were not phases. Yet here he was, stuck in the sweltering heat of a church’s atrium, fanning himself with a promotional pamphlet and doodling in his notebook that was supposed to be filled with notes. It wasn’t; it was filled with more doodles.
“And Butters, I want to hear those bells next time, got it? The bells are important. Everyone loves the bells!”
“U-uh, yes Eric, sir,” Butters stuttered, and Craig huffed as he rolled his eyes. He could have been getting drunk at Clyde’s right now. He could have been stuffed in a closet with someone hot right now. He could have been losing his virginity right now. Those were fantasies, though, and right now, Craig liked money, and he liked cheating people out of said money. Cartman’s undeniably for-profit church fit that bill, and so here he stayed, seventeen and devoted to a God he did not believe in.
Truthfully, Craig had never set foot in a church in his life when Cartman made the initial offer. ‘We’ll be making bank, Craig!’ Cartman had insisted, and though Craig knew those words meant absolutely nothing positive when considering their history, he was feeling particularly moody and impulsive that afternoon, and something as idiotic as falsifying an entire church for cash definitely fulfilled the primal teenaged urge to do something reckless. Most kids scribbled on walls or did drugs to rebel. South Park kids started wars and Ponzi schemes.
Every couple of weeks or so Eric Cartman would make them gather ‘round in the atrium of the church to discuss any changes to the routine and make sure everything was in working order. It meant inspecting the fog machines and the motorized furniture, which was the best part, and listening to Cartman gripe about having lost a negligible fraction of money in the past week, which was the worst part. Any moment now and it’d be Craig’s turn to get yelled at. Wonderful.
“Craig, I’m thinking your routine is getting a little stale,” he sneered, a hand to his chin in what he probably thought looked scheming when it just looked stupid, and Craig shrugged at him. “Maybe we should amp up the bullshit, you know, make it cheesier.”
Craig snorted. “How do you get cheesier than, ‘open your heart to salvation!’?” He imitated the bad kind-of Southern accent he usually did with the opening line of his act, and Cartman scrunched up his face in an ugly frown.
“I don’t know, asshole, just play it up! Get more fog machines, fuck! Your job is to be convincing.” He was scowling, which was always a terrible expression on him, which made the whole conversation suddenly amusing.
“We both know I’m a terrible actor,” he countered. He crossed his arms and hoped Cartman’s face would start turning purple.
“You’ve been doing this for over a year and you’ve gotten much better than when you started. Figure it out,” Cartman insisted, an accusatory finger jabbed in his direction. Craig flipped him off and sighed as he leaned forward into his notebook. There wasn’t much more to the meeting, and he wanted to finish his sketch of a dragon. It was pretty messed up, and he was probably going to take a picture of it to post on twitter. He had the handle baddragons and he used it to post pictures of poorly drawn dragon sketches on the corners of his papers. He got a lot of angry DMs looking for the dildos of a common name. He thought it was a pretty good joke.
Cartman wrapped up the meeting five minutes later, and dictated that Craig check all the door locks this time before leaving. The building was a dump, but it was the foundation on which they’d built their lies, and they needed a church for people to come to if they wanted to continue making incredible amounts of money. This month was funded by donations to a non-existent homeless shelter for kids with cancer, and it was astounding that none of the churchgoers bothered to look up the organization they claimed was real and just dumped their cash in the collection buckets. Tithe had been taken to a whole new level, and it was as ugly and stupid as the dragons on his troll twitter account.
The church sometimes felt creepy at night, and that was especially true when no one else was there with him. His colleagues had escaped as soon as Cartman had ended his spiel about the importance of proper fog machine use (to embellish the mysterious effect they were looking for). Craig was supposed to be removing the evil spirits from the souls of their planted audience members. Obviously, this meant there had to be smoke coming from the walls. The regulars ate the shit up, and it was frankly embarrassing that they’d refused to catch on. Humanity was such a waste.
He was halfway through blowing out all the over-the-top candelabras at the altar when a creaking sound squeaked underneath his feet. Craig shuffled his weight between legs to try to trigger it again, but he felt nothing out of the ordinary in the flooring that could have caused the squeaking in the first place, and he shrugged and moved on.
A few moments later the floor did it again, and this time Craig turned around to look for a source of the sound. The church was so dimly lit he could hardly see a thing, but what he could see looked normal. He was about to turn around and return to his candle-snuffing when the floor did it again, but this time louder, and it sounded more like a groan than a creak.
Craig tensed. He refused to die in some fucked up church when he didn’t even believe in God in the first place. Absolutely not. He carefully shifted the candle extinguisher to brandish it like a baton should he need to strike a threat. He waited.
A rush of hot air flew through the building and put out the remaining candles one by one, and at the same time, the ground below him began to shake. Craig bent his knees in a defensive stance to keep his balance. From the floorboards came what started as a groan and turned into a wail, which turned into screaming that made his ears feel like they were bleeding and felt like claws gouging at the flesh of them at the same time. In his surprise, he dropped the extinguisher, and brought both palms up to his ears to try to drown out the cries. It sounded like thousands of horrified voices moments before death, and even though Craig couldn’t care less about that part, it must have had some sort of magic to it because his eyes welled up with tears that he couldn’t control or understand.
From the place in the floor that the screaming exploded grew a light, warm and orange which turned to a blinding yellow the louder the voices cried. His hands weren’t helping, and he was resisting the urge to scratch at his ears in an attempt to stop the horrid sounds. The light and sound disappeared for one blissful second where Craig thought it might be over, but as soon as the silence in the air began to ring, an explosion burst from the floorboards in the center of the aisle.
Craig choked on a gasp and hacked as he backed away as quickly as he could without falling. His back pressed against his podium, and he watched as the cheap wooden floor panels splintered and broke apart to leave room for a hole split right through the earth that glowed an angry red-orange, like the flames of a fire. Never in all his life had he ever felt so compelled to talk to God. 
He was about to start awkwardly reciting lines he’d learned in his pseudo-studies when out of the hole popped a ragged, fiercely clawed hand, which spread its pointed tips to dig itself into the wood. Craig shrieked, and any semblance of confidence or security fled from him at such a supernatural sight. The hand braced itself, and it pushed down with all its might to make the slab of wood collapse under its weight and heave to the surface a body curled inward.
Craig covered his mouth to prevent his panicked gasping for air from making sounds. In front of him, in front of the hole that undoubtedly led to Hell (which Craig had not believed in until personally witnessing its existence just now), was what looked like a boy.
At first glance he seemed normal, but from his back spread two huge crimson wings, leathery like a bat’s, and Craig spotted two matching horns sprouting from within messy golden locks of hair. The wings grew larger as they unfolded, and soon they were easily surpassing the width of the aisle, splayed fully out. Behind him a tail like a rat’s swung back and forth like a dog’s, a telltale spade at the end of it twitching. “A demon,” Craig whispered, and he yelped when the creature’s head shot up to meet his gaze with piercing cat’s eye pupils in fiery yellow irises.
“An imp, actually,” he said, and with each flap of his lips Craig saw canines sharp as daggers lining his gums. He gulped, his throat suddenly feeling dry as a desert, and the demon boy tilted his head slowly, carefully.
“You’re not like the others,” he said, and it took a few moments for Craig to compose himself before he realized the boy was staring at him, waiting for an explanation.
“I’m not really a pastor!” Craig held his hands up in the air as though it might help prove his innocence. His gut twisted and he fought the urge to vomit with all his being. The ground was still screaming, and he was finding himself drawn to staring at it instead of the demon in front of him.
“Oh yeah, s-sorry about that, hang on,” the boy said, and with a snap, the hole was gone and the screeches were completely silenced. Craig looked up into his intense eyes again and found that even with the gate to hell closed, there was still a sound that surrounded him, almost like a low chanting or hum that represented his raw energy. He stood up straight, and that was when Craig realized that the second half of his body was not human, but furry and cloven hooved. Dear God.
He tilted his head again, and leaned on the pitchfork Craig hadn’t noticed he had. “You say you’re not a servant to the Lord?”
“I-I honestly don’t even know what that means,” Craig said quickly. “I don’t even believe! Well, okay, now I might, but. Before that, no. I do this for money!”
The demon nodded. “I knew that much, and that’s why I came here to drag you to Hell. I don’t know, though…” He trailed off, and raised a clawed finger to press it to his lower lip in thought. “Y-you’re pretty cute, nnh, for a human.” He twitched to the left and frowned.
Craig stuttered, lost for words or what to say really, but when he did finally speak, it was not at all what he wanted to say. “You too!” he exclaimed, and he covered his mouth immediately afterwards as though it could rescind his statement. What an embarrassment.
The demon boy chuckled. The sound was melodic and shook with the humming of his energy so that it reverberated in the church’s echoey chambers, and it was beautiful. Craig wasn’t sure if he was supposed to find it beautiful. Demons were supposed to be the worst, after all, according to his made-up scripture. Craig was supposed to be banishing demons. This one seemed pretty okay, though, and even though Craig was shaking so badly he felt like he might fall apart at the seams, he wasn’t all that threatening. That is, if he could get past the teeth and claws and wings, and horns, and hooves. He was particularly fixated on the cherry-red appendages sticking out of his back.
“Y-you like them?” the demon asked, and he made one flapping motion with his wings for good measure. The wind of it brushed Craig’s hair back and nearly ripped his hat clean off. Luckily he was still crouched against his podium, or else he probably would have stumbled from the wind force.
“Who are you?” Craig finally asked. The demon’s head tilted even further to the side in a way that made Craig think it must hurt his neck, but he seemed content.
“I’m not supposed to tell you,” he started, “but I like you, so I’m Tweek.” He smiled, and it would have been sweet if he didn’t have terrifyingly sharp fangs taunting him behind his lips. The demon boy named Tweek was pretty, Craig would admit, with high cheekbones and elongated features that made him look lanky but somehow beautiful, like a dancer. His eyes were proving just as incredibly sharp as the first time he met them, and they danced on their own with their own fires. He was fascinating to look at, and Craig was mesmerized. The way Tweek giggled made Craig think he’d been caught staring.
“So...yeah. Hell, I guess. You really shouldn’t do this, y-you know,” Tweek lectured, gesturing at the church. “The only reason I can come in here is that your church is so illegitimate, you have no protective worship energy surrounding it. None of you believe at all. I-isn’t that sad, t-to just, not believe in something?” He frowned slightly. “It seems lonely. If I was allowed to like God, I probably would. He seems nice.”
Craig shook his head. “Okay, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what’s happening. Am I dreaming? What the fuck did I take?” he asked, and Tweek laughed at him again.
“You didn’t take anything. You just fucked up and I’m here to make you pay.”
“Oh, good,” Craig mumbled. “I always wanted to become a martyr.”
“I don’t think this counts as martyrdom. You’re not even religious. You’re just a shitty person.” Tweek looked surprised, his cat eyes blinking slowly. “You don’t want to make your case before I toss you in, then?” Tweek stepped forward, his wings rising to glide over the pews. The closer he got, the grander they became, until Craig was so enamored with them that he wanted to reach out and pet just one finger on the skin that webbed Tweek’s wings together.
“I don't really have a case. I know this is wrong.” Craig shrugged. He was starting to feel more comfortable, and his shaking had been reduced to adrenaline-fueled tremors. Now that he looked closer, Tweek seemed to be shaking slightly too. “Are you afraid of me too?” he asked, but he instantly regretted it the moment Tweek snorted at him.
“N-no,” he smirked, “I just shake. God made me wrong so Satan took me instead. He’s very, ngh,” Tweek twitched violently mid-sentence, “nice! You'd like him, I think. Most do. Let's go!” Tweek snapped and the hole in the ground reappeared, squealing at full-force.
“You want me to get in that?” Craig yelled over the cries, and Tweek gave him a confused look.
“W-well, you don't really have a choice.”
“No?” Craig asked, and Tweek shook his head. Craig rubbed his hands together and did what he did best: scam his way through a tight spot. “You're a devil, right?” Tweek nodded slowly. “Wouldn't the more devilish thing to do be to… I dunno, defy your orders and steal me away for yourself?” Craig crossed his fingers behind his back.
Tweek’s eyes practically glowed. “Wow, would you really let me do that?” Craig nodded, very subtly as he was still very uncertain, but he did. “That sounds fun!” He shrieked and the high pitch of his voice rattled the windows and pierced Craig’s brain like an instant migraine. “O-oh, sorry. I forget you're so fragile.” He looked sheepish, which was not a description Craig thought he would ever give a demon. Then again, Craig hadn't believed in demons until one quite literally showed up in front of him. 
“You still have to get in, though,” Tweek said, frowning. “I can fly but I don't want to fly out of here in such a small town. Satan doesn't like when we’re spotted. I want to teleport a little ways out. Is that okay?”
“No,” Craig said, his stomach flipping again at the sight of the flames beneath the floorboards. “But I guess I have no choice.”
“Nope!” Tweek said cheerfully, and Craig sighed.
“Okay,” he said, feeling as though he'd either horribly regret or fondly recall his decision, “take me away, demon boy.”
“I'm an imp,” Tweek corrected, but Craig rolled his eyes.
“Whatever, imp boy. Let's go.”
His stomach erupted into butterflies at the excited gleam in Tweek’s eyes as he held out a clawed hand for him to take. Craig slowly placed his palm in his, and the pad of his hand was surprisingly soft to the touch. It was warm, but not clammy, and Craig relaxed into his hold as he was tugged gently forward. “I can't believe I'm doing this,” he muttered, but Tweek gave him a reassuring smile that was much gentler without the deadly fangs poking out of his lips.
“I won't hurt you,” Tweek said, and somehow, for some idiotic reason, Craig believed him. For a moment he recalled his family, his friends, and his coworkers who would find his notebook discarded and the floors ripped to shreds without any idea of what had transpired, but something about the imp holding his hand made him less worried about the life he was likely abandoning for a long time. 
Tweek led him forward and he gulped, staring down into the flames that screamed. “They won't burn you,” Tweek said, “they’re just warm.” Craig still feared them. After a moment to collect himself, he nodded, giving Tweek permission to lead him in.
“So, are you familiar with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah?” Tweek asked, grinning, and Craig choked on his spit before he was pulled forward and began a free-fall through a wormhole leading to God knew where.
When they resurfaced it was in a dark shack in a town Craig didn't recognize, and Tweek had the same grin in place as when they hopped through the portal the first time, and Craig had to wonder just how familiar he was with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and how much it was going to relate to the hours of sex they would undoubtedly be having in the very near, very enticing future.
THE END 
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mushuzen-blog · 7 years ago
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moo-shoe review: royal survival contestants!
well well.. guess who’s back from saving china, i mean south korea!! it’s ya bicc boi aka big daddy mushu on the stage~ i figured i’ve been missing out on a lot so i decided to run a marathon on the first three episodes on the royal survival, seems like there’s a load of beautiful girls who are trying to make their dreams country.. hummmmm this is me when i first saw so jisub tryna put these girls down!! like are you serious you big balonga?? we get it that you’re some big kind of c e o but you ain’t tryna play the role of big daddy.. THAT’S MY ROLE!@#^%$^
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see that big ol’ fat angry mean statue right here? that’s so jiseob.. jisub.. geez sub, whatever you say his goddamn name!! ffs
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i’m the big dragon here! anyways let’s start.. with ma big opinions for a small lizard.. (don’t call me that!!) i’m a dragon.
ahn hyojin (elly) - trainee for one year, three months
wOOW look at this beaut-i’m at loss for words at her talent but she apparently seems to be a scandalous girl? issues with texting bUT YA KNOW WHAT?? i like this girl cause she gives me the vibe she likes to be who she is and don’t give a f*ck. i think she’s pretty badass and gives me the vibe that she’s just not like your ordinary idol. she’s an all-rounder, i’ve grown fond of elly! her rapping flow entices me, she spits dragon fire when she raps. ooo~~
jegal seoyoung - trainee for eight months
she has these cute cheeks and this girl has a lot of cuteness to her.. she seems like she could go on variety but there should be more to her personality than just looking.. cute? i think she gives me that natural kind-of vibe you wouldn’t find elsewhere, like she’s a down-to-earth girl and not just trying to show off. she’s who she is and she does her best at being naturally cute but would i say she’s more of a vocalist or dancer? she’s a decent dancer but not like jazz (HOT MAMA CAN WORK THOSE HIPS, THEY dON’T LIE LIKE SHAKIRA OH MA LORDE!!) i mean.. jazz dances really well cause ya’know, jazz! but her voice doesn’t captivate me like jihyun or dawon would.
jo eunae (bekah) - trainee for nine months
ooo this girl is different!! she’s a cali girl and that’s cool, you stay cool like the cool weather in cali! she seems to be a strong candidate. man i think jisub’s bringing these girls down with their confidence but i like how strong and fierce eunae is. i’m curious what else what she can bring in the potluck! too many girls in this show are so quiet that i’m starting to fall asleep in my tomb.. liek the time my ancestors were nagging to me about how i don’t clean the pagoda and stuff. need more girls that are lively like eunae, yeah!! btw you rock that eyeliner girl #slay
jung soojung - trainee for one year
i think she’s the youngest but she seems to have the most mature vibe from the girls, she’s pretty bland and boring though. i think she was a lot better on the mgas than now, seems like she’s just pulling through. she’s got a great voice, not going to lie and she can dance just fine but there’s something off about her. the ice princess isn’t doing so well.. so far. she shone brighter a year ago but it seems like these girls are have the extreme limelight than she is hMMM WORK ON YA VIBE GIRL, YOU NEED TO SING MORE THAN JUST BALLADS! ffs
kim seolhyun - trainee for one year
she’s.. on this show oh waOW WHAT A HOT MAMA! i think she was on a dating scandal with somebody named.. bacon? oh yeah i remember bacon, that old greasy bacon be doin’ something with this rare beauty named seolhyun. she’s really different from the other girls, she’s really good at what she does and is versatile but there’s something i was expecting more from miss seolhyun. i can’t say i’m too impressed but i’m not disappointed either. i think i have to see more from her, she has almost the same vibes from the mgas and bIGGG DADDDY NEEDS MORE FROM YA LIKE.. werk that body girl. seolhyun works out yee, you can tell. she’s got the bod, the face, and the visuals. hot damn
kim yubin - trainee for three years
she’s another rapper.. what happened to the other rappers? i feel like there should’ve been more rappers but there’s only like 2.. or 3? THERE’S SO MANY VOCALIST IN THIS SHOW AND they’re mostly quiet personalities hOLY HELL?? i heard she’s been in many scandals.. damn these rappers don’t joke mang. they’re pretty headass, so cool!! suspicious and scandalous just makes everything interesting. she has the personality of queen b, but i think i’ve expected more from yubin than you know.. what she does cause she is a triple threat for a reason. at least, from what i’ve heard? am i missing out on something? ALSO I’M DIGGING THAT TAN GIRL YOU GOOO!!
lee jieun (jazz) - trainee for two years, four months 
SNDFOISNFOISDNF!@#$%#^% SO JISUB YOU COW HOW DID THE BEST DANCER OF THE SHOW GET ELIMINATED? she’s one of royal’s gemstones!! are you flippin’ serious you whoohaA? i’m so mad!! this girl doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. seriously, she was complimented so much and only to be eliminated and walk away? i’M CRYING ON MY TOMBSTONE, i can’t take this no not my heart.. JAZZ WHY?! 
lee jihyun - trainee for three years
wow.. jisub are you saying jihyun is predictable? okay um.. hold on, give her voice some praise more than you’re putting her down. she’s been loyal to royal and you’re just going to treat her out like that? come on man.. you’re not fair towards these girls at all. you sleep on some of these girls and you neeDA STOP THAT. istg mnet’s new cow is you!! jihyun has amazing technique and beautiful vocal prowess. it looks like if she was to ever debut, she’d be the leader despite how you say she’s predictable with her performances. okay, for three years you’ve had her, why don’t you cherish her more? >> 
lee soohyun - trainee for two years 
she’s definitely cute but her looks apparently don’t match your regular idol type.. i think that’s the sweetest thing about her, she’s unique and not just some plastic surgery butchered-beauty. i’m glad she’s the way she is, she’s a sweethEART AHH YOU REMIND ME OF MULAN WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL!! my heart is melted she’s too sweet *sniffle sniffle* her voice sounds lovely too!
manoban lalisa (lisa) - trainee for eight months
jisub says that this girl doesn’t have all-rounded abilities and that she doesn’t do what she does precisely.. well he’s wrong, i think she’s one of the most hard-working girls out there and she deserves more credit than what gee-sub gives her. lisa, you deserve to shine bright for who and what you are!! keep up that charisma girl, you’re more than just a pretty face as he says! if she was put in a girl group, she’d have the greatest variety personality.. like she just appeals the audience so much.
nam dawon - trainee for one year
oo.. another quiet girl? she seems really quiet but like.. she’s just there? i wish i got to see more of her. not gonna lie but she has a pretty voice but like soojung, she just seems too quiet beyond belief. she’s shy and there’s nothing wrong with that bUT I WISH THESE VOCALISTS were a little more out there!! like.. she’s a sweetheart but we need spicy fire on the show. i love her technique, she seems like a very strong singer.
park chaeyoung - trainee for eight months
i’d have to say that rose is like a rose, beautiful and one of my favourite flowers! i remember the days scrollin’ through her instagram and twitter (okay i’m kind of a stalker) AND SHE HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL ORANGE HAIR THAT WAS LIKE A FIREY BREATHING DRAGON! rose has earned her place as one of my favourites. i can’t wait for her to play the guitar and sing! her voice is unique and what’s even more awesome is she’s from australia! ooo dat accent got me like #waowgirl
yang jiwon - trainee for three years
she’s been training for so long and hasn’t debuted yet? was she in trc’s dungeon for the longest time ever? i’m not going to label these girls as “backstabbers” but some of them have been training so long with high hopes and dreams, only to be let-down by their company. yo this girl is one of the hottest, along with seolhyun. she might not be the best vocalist, but i can’t put ma finger on it, she’s has something special about her! we’ll just have to see it! 
stay tuned for more mushu reviews for episode.. 4! I’M OUT AND REMEMBER THIS SO JISUB, GET ROSE, SOOHYUN, ELLY, JIHYUN OR ANYONE ELSE I LOVE OUT OF THE SHOW, YOUS THE nEW COW OF MNET!! ya stupid piece of cow!!
so jiSEUB i AM YOUR..
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7livky · 5 years ago
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Dionysus - Park Jimin
CHAPTER 9
Baby, it's okay if I get drunk I'll drink you in deep now Deep into my throat The whiskey that is you
Kiss me on the lips A secret just between the two of us Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway
- Blood, Sweat & Tears by BTS
Diona's POV
With a resting pulse of probably over a hundred beats per minute, I was now standing in front of my lecturer.
I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead as she watched my huge work. I closed my eyes before I started cursing. "This is all your fault."
"Pardon?"
We exchanged glances so I started to laugh hysterically. "Ah, ha hahaha ha" ,I pulled my hair back, "I mean everything is my fault. I knew you wouldn't like it."
Jimin, I hate you.
Rolling her eyes, I could feel the sweat under my armpits.
„Ew." I quickly put my hand over my mouth. This time she sighed loudly as she examined Medusa's snake hair.
I never thought I'd be someone like this someday.
A 20-year-old woman who based on a few...
A few?
Okay... who based on dozens of videos, has mutated into a fifteen-year-old girl who would get down on her knees for these seven men just to fulfill their every wish. Only two days since I haven't seen them, and in those 48 hours I haven't tried to make my painting look perfect, no. I've tried to stop myself from falling in love with every single one of BTS. And not just because of their stunning looks.
BTS are the angels on this planet who would give everything for Armys happiness, Armys wishes and just.. for Armys lifes. And by everything, I really mean everything they have.
Also-
"So Mrs. Park. Good organization of the picture surface, striking arrangement and colorfulness of the figure with the snakes, correct lighting. But the painting technique and brushwork..."
Can someone bring me my whiskey?
"..could really be those of a true artist."
She then winked at me, took a sip of her bitter coffee and typed something on her computer. "Full score. Now get out of my way, there's a new Cutie on probation!" With her shoulder, she pushed me aside and left me in her room.
What the fuck did just happen?
"Four meters to the right and you're at your destination."
I turned on my heels to see who?
Right, the pain in the ass who had to find me of all people on this earth.
"Oh, there you are!"
I crossed my arms and couldn't believe him. "How did you find me? In this huge, mazy university."
"Not with an app that hacks your phone and tells me your location! I swear to God!" He shrugged his shoulders while scratching the back of his head. How could he still look cute in his thick, black leather jacket and hot body?
"Did you get your results yet?" He pulled me out of the room before I could see my finished work lying on the table for the last time.
" Yeah." I murmured.
He stopped, showing me his sad face. "Failed?"
Nodding my head, I threw myself into Jongsuk's arms. I rolled my eyes as I inhaled the female scent when he stroke my head.
"Fuck it, shorty. Next time, just draw me and my beauty will blind them. Who the hell is Medusa?" ,he spoke up to make me laugh.
"Thank you Jong-suck suck. But..." ,I looked up at him while still hugging him, "Should I hear one more time" ,my sweet voice changed in a second, "that you hacked my phone to haunt me, then I'll boil your little eggs and make scrambled eggs out of them."
Disgusted, he looked down at me. "Why must your punishments always be so nasty?"
"Perhaps my predecessor was a goddess who enjoyed nasty punishments?"
After my answer, he let go of me and walked with big steps to the elevators. He waited for me until I was inside too and pushed the button. "Don't give me that shit again" ,he replied ten years later.
"What do you mean?"
"With the Gods" ,he answered whereupon we sat in the lobby, full of comfy sofas.
"Remember how you laughed at me when I said I met Jungkook?" ,I teased him.
He looked away in annoyance, " Yeah well, I should have believed you. But wait a minute?"
I tried to take a few sips of my canned whiskey without getting caught.
"Doesn't that mean that the old rich pedophile kookie monster is actually Jungkook?!"
He stared at me while I nodded. "Now the thousand dollars finally makes sense. The richest guys in South Korea found my best friend. Great!"
I ignored his sarcasm by opening up my Twitter. My entire home page was filled with BTS. Does that surprise me? I don't think so.
Beep.
new message (1)
from kookie-monster95
I just had five hundred butterflies thrashing around in my stomach.
hi!
can you come over to our place tonight?
"What? Why are you grinning like an idiot?"
Of course I can come over and bite your dimples off...
"Diona."
And paint your muscular body on your own wall at home.
"Oh my God! Is that Park Jimin?!"
What did he say?
"WHERE?"
Now my phone was in his hand. "I see. So that's how it is. Tell me, are you getting disloyal?"
I tried to hit him, "Give me that! And to whom should I be disloyal?" ,I growled.
Beep.
I could hear it vibrating in his big hand.
Jongsuk raised his one brow, "He wants you for something else? This is going too far! I'm coming too!"
I punched him in the chest, "What did he send?!" His arms were too long to be stopped.
"He doesn't want you there for the picture" ,he declared angrily and suddenly typed something.
"Jongsuk please stop!" I screamed as everyone stared at me. "Please!" I fidgeted in desperation.
Beep.
"Hey Jongsuk." He immediately turned around to see one of those college sluts. I took the opportunity to run away with my life in my hands. I immediately read the previous message.
from kookie-monster95
but not just for the painting..
from diona7
for what then you rabbit?
"Oh my God Jongsuk I will kill you!"
new message (1)
from kookie-monster95
Well, don't you think you should apologize to Jimin?
Absolutely not!
Flashback
"And then I witnessed your fist hitting his beautiful face."
Or do I?
- And here I was again. At the entrance of a heavenly ancient mansion.
Can anyone finally rid me of this dream? No common sense would ever be able to handle seeing BTS in private, would it? Can someone finally tell me that this fact can never be reality?
How can I ever face it? I want to finish this painting as soon as possible and never have to come back here again.
After my self-talk, I decided to make a next appointment with my therapist and got out. I dragged my heavy bag to the gate, looking at my trembling hand. "I should have drunk more" ,I murmured as the door suddenly opened by itself.
Great, now I had to deal with ghosts, too.
"Hello?"
I came in and moved my stuff in. I closed the door and stood on the mosaic floor I had fallen in love with.
"It's me, Diona." I looked around, but no one was there. And this time it was totally different. Knowing that two or three members lived here didn't take my nervousness away at all.
Knowing that Park Jimin lived here..
I put my hand on my chest and tried to keep my heart from popping out.
But I wanted to see more. More than the unpainted wall and the entrance hall. When I headed into the direction Jungkook was heading that day, something unexpected happened there.
The whole appearance, the building, the architecture was no longer the same as in the entrance hall.
It was a secular building of the Renaissance and Baroque at the same time. A palace that served as a residence, as a noble residence for rich and privileged families. But there was always an echo of an ancient Roman villa, with mosaic floors, hermen pilasters and grotto work, which surrounded me like a spring sanctuary.
I nodded decisively the more characteristics I recognized.
A strong beam shone in my eyes that belonged to the sun. I took my eyes from the window and followed the light coming from above. My eyes widened.
"Wow..." ,I whispered after I saw the ceiling. A pastel ceiling painting by an unknown artist. Depicted of people, with the assumed form of angels, helping two wingless people floating on clouds. When I lowered my head, I saw Corinthian columns decorated with animal heads.
The endlessness of the heavens.
As the sun set, the countless golden decorations sparkled throughout the room and all the small crystal chandeliers turned on.
I looked around immediately. "Is anyone there?" My stomach cramped up. With big steps I walked on before I stood in front of a big staircase with a wide marble staircase.
I left the first hall to climb the shiny steps. My small steps were the only disturbance that could be recorded. It was soulfully calm.
No way.
A large gallery of mirrors in thousandfold shapes on huge mirror walls with reflecting parquet flooring and a beautiful crystal chandelier that increased the light of countless candles.
With my inner concern, I ran towards my mirror images. Looking at my wavy hair, which took on a golden colour under the crystal chandelier, my yellowish light-brown eyes found me from all sides as I turned in circles. A hall that consisted only of mirrors.
Before I would see any other face than mine, I crossed this hall as fast as I could. I put out my cell phone to write Jungkook, but without success. I had no network. No wonder it takes him an hour to open the front door when he has to go through so many halls.
A cold breeze brushed against my skin, so I stroked my arms. I noticed a stream that probably seized me from the following hall. Coldness, an increasing echo and another sequent hall in front of me. Without even looking behind me, I hurried to the other side and was ready to see something sensational-
and not a hand in front of my eyes.
"Shhhh.."
I lost the ground under my feet and felt the fear down to my last pore. I opened my mouth slightly, but I could not speak, because my throat was closed. Raising my hand I felt the other hand under my fingers.
"Kill me softly.."
And there it was again. That melodious voice that sounded like velvet and warmed me.
"Close my eyes with your caress."
Jimin's words enveloped me like soft singing, awakening the desire in me to open my eyes so that I could see him.
My ears sensed sound waves of music with a slinking tempo as if the melody was flowing through my body and even touching my heart. My sense of sight was full of brilliance and silver shimmer. Transparent warm timbres that gave me a natural serenity.
I felt a deep trepidation when his other hand lingered at my waist and slowly moved me forward. On soft knees, he slowly followed me as he dragged me to a place.
I could hear someone snapping their fingers to the music. The next moment I heard a snap from the other direction, too, which matched the timbre of the song perfectly.
He removed his warm hands so that I could perceive everything again with my eyes and not just my hearing.
Flashback
But the most beautiful thing on his face was his cat-shaped eyes. They reminded me of the eyes of a predatory cat. To be more precise, he had the same of a desert lynx, as he had very dark and dense lower lashes, just like a eyeliner.
"Welcome, Diona. I am Taehyung." He winked at me with his broad smile as his hand floated in front of me.
"Pleased to meet you." I shook his hand, with which he later brushed through his turquoise hair. Then he sat down on the sofa to my left.
"So a rabbit then?"
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned to look to my right to see Jungkook lying on a beige sofa with his left leg resting on the backrest. With his legs spread, he pierced me with his eyes.
"That wasn't me, that was my friend Jongsuk. I'm sorry."
A door was shut behind me, which made me start up. I lowered my head to the side and stopped at my shoulder. I could already see him from the corner of my eye. With his back against the door, he watched me all the time.
"Isn't there something else you should be apologizing for?"
Every time he spoke, my nerves were strained to breaking point and I hated it. I turned on my heels and watched Jimin biting his lip. I counted every second his bite lingered on his lower lip and forgot everything I had learned. I gazed down at his crossed arms.
"Huh?" he almost complained.
Just another moment and I already sensed his dark aura around my own, over which he had seized power.
"Sorry that I hit you."
He lifted my chin so I could look him in the eyes. "I'll only forgive you," he licked his lips, "if you bear us company tonight."
He took his eyes away from me and looked at the boys behind me. I then heard a glass being filled with liquid.
"I'm just here to paint. Not to entertain you."
His smile didn't disappear, no. Instead, he smiled even stronger. "Oh.. But you already have been entertaining us since you came into this room, my beautiful."
My teeth clenched. I saw red with rage while he watched me amused.
"He's tipsy, don't listen to him" ,Jungkook spoke from the side, drinking his wine before sitting up.
Before anyone could say anything else, I left the room. "My beautiful" ,I imitated him as I stomped through the dark passage. "You can stick it right up your a-"
I heard a loud grunt.
"You'll regret this" ,Jungkook laughed as he passed me when I gave him my look of death to the back of his head. "Otherwise he'll drown you in booze."
I observed his trained back, which you could see through his white shirt but immediately turned around when he stopped to look at me. "I'm sorry if I come off bad too, but I've been drinking too. But actually.." He smiled shyly. „Actually I'm the cutest guy in the whole group, you know."
A soft clucking escaped me. "How is an international playboy supposed to be cute?"
He stared at me in shock when we arrived at the mirrors. "You... Where from? How-"
I rolled my eyes, "Yes Jungkook, everything you say is recorded and saved by millions of Armys as an insider. Good morning."
He just scratched the back of his head and ran down the stairs with me. I almost took a wrong turn, but he helped me right away. When we arrived at my place, I picked up my bag to get ready.
"I hope I don't faint again and can't start the painting a second time."
When nothing came up, I turned around as he looked like he'd been caught for a crime. "Ehh... ehehe" ,he half coughed, "scream out my name if you need me." He bowed respectfully before he disappeared from my sight.
"But how are you supposed to hear me!" I screamed after, but yeah.. Nevermind. I sighed in frustration before opening the lids of the acrylic paints. I put on my cape and pulled on the strings that I wrapped around my waist.
That song that just came out of my mouth as I hummed the melody, automatically thinking of his voice.
"Ugh" ,I hissed.
Why wasn't he the same in real life as he was in the videos? So sweet, loving and caring to everyone. Why wasn't he like in my dreams? The most beautiful angel I've ever been allowed to touch?
I digged out my finished sketch out of my sheets and held it in my other hand. Then I approached the wall to finally start with the base. Before dabbing my wide brush into the white paint, I waited. As always whenever the paint was about to touch a surface. Because after that there was no turning back. This kind of paint dried in seconds.
11:17 p.m.
That was my eighth yawn in a short minute, from when I knew I should stop. I put everything on the floor, which I had covered with old newspaper sheets to check the time on my phone.
"Three hours?!"
I shook my head in anger. "These assholes haven't asked once in three hours how far I've come or if I need anything?"
Crybaby.
"Shut the fuck up!" ,I screamed.
My senses suddenly picked up something unexpected. His scented essence. I froze at the sight.
"Yooou.. talk to yourself, tooooo?"
Have I lost my mind? Are my eyes no longer functioning properly?
Or did Jimin have silver streaks in his hair three hours before too?
"Wow!" He ignored me to stare at the wall. "Your hands can work wonders."
"Uh, thanks?"
His giggle sounded like a squeal. Just like I knew him from the videos.
"I should go now. This all has to dry by tomorrow, I can't put anything else on before then." I bent down to wrap everything up while he watched me silently as my nerves fluttered with fear.
"You can't just leave me like this. Not unless I tell you to" ,he said from up there.
Not this shit again...
"Let me guess. Because you're the one and only Dionysus?"
Even before I said that sentence, I already regretted it.
His veins popped out. Fuck.
He quickly pulled me up by my arm before a cold wall touched my back. He raised his hand, licked his thumb and put it against my cheek before he grazed a spot. After that, he showed me his thumb, which was tinted white. My cheeks heated up. God, how embarrassing. I didn't realize my face looked like a clown the whole time.
"You.. will come upstairs with me now and taste my unique wine. Understand?"
Nod. Just a nod that I could give him.
"Thank you, beautiful."
And for the first time, he locked his hand with mine.
Music is the wine,
which inspires new generative processes,
and I am Dionysus,
who presses out his glorious wine for mankind
and makes them spiritually drunk.
- Dionysus
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womenofcolor15 · 5 years ago
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2020 CRITICS’ CHOICE AWARDS: Here’s How Lupita, Niecy, Zendaya, Billy Porter & More Slayed The Carpet + Regina King, Eddie Murphy, Ava & Jharrel Jerome Cop Awards!
The stars aligned at the 2020 Critics’ Choice Awards where they served up red carpet slayage like no other. Also, Regina King, Eddie Murphy, Ava DuVernay and Jharrel Jerome copped awards. Get it all inside…
Awards season is among us!
The 25th Annual Critics' Choice Awards went down at The Barker Hangar in Santa Monica so the BFCA can honor the finest in cinematic achievement. A few YBF folks scooped up awards this year, including Jharrel Jerome, Ava DuVernay, Regina King and Eddie Murphy.
“When They See Us” star Jharrel Jerome, who played Korey Wise in the Netflix docu-series, won the Best Actor in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television Award.
"This is for the Exonerated Five [formerly the Central Park 5], no matter what," Jharrel said while accepting his first-ever Critics' Choice award. "This is for Korey Wise, Antron McCray, Yusef Salaam, Raymond Santana, and Kevin Richardson."
The 22-year-old actor - who rocked a LouisVuitton jacket - went on to thank his family and gave a special shout-out to “When They See Us” director Ava DuVernay.
Check it:
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After being snubbed for Golden Globes nominations, Ava’s “When They See Us” won the Best Limited Series Award and the fab directress delivered a powerful speech.
“We made a four-part, five-hour film that was an act of love,” Ava said before thanking everyone who made the project possible. The SELMA director - who wore a Michael Cinco gown - also thanked Netflix for letting a “black woman do her things.” Yasss!
Peep her speech below:
  "Let a Black Woman do her thing." @Ava. Watch Ava's full Acceptance Speech after winning the #CriticsChoice Award for Best Limited Series for #WhenTheySeeUs. Congrats! pic.twitter.com/gMEVVIYdNR
— ARRAY (@ARRAYNow) January 13, 2020
  Bomb actress Regina King couldn't make it to the awards show because she's currently directing her first feature film, One Night in Miami. However, when she learned she won the Best Actress in a Drama Series Award for her role in "Watchmen," she posted a video on Twitter to say thanks!
  Thank you @CriticsChoice association!Jean Smart is everything!!! Congrats Lady. #WatchmenHBO pic.twitter.com/KysiNS9wpN
— Regina King (@ReginaKing) January 13, 2020
  By the way, Regina's "Watchman" co-star Jean Smart won Best Supporting Actress for her role in the series.
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Eddie Murphy skipped the red carpet, but hit the stage to accept the Lifetime Achievement Award at this year's Critic's Choice Awards
“To make your living making people laugh is the highest blessing on Earth,” the 58-year-old actor said. He noted he has been in the acting game, making folks laugh for almost 40 years.
“I’ve played everything: a cop, a robber, a doctor, different ethnicities, animals,” he said while laughing. “I’ve been a donkey. I’ve even played a spaceship once. When young actors come up to me on the streets and say, ‘Do you have any advice?’, I say, ‘never play a spaceship.’”
Peep his speech above.
History making Oscar winner Ruth E. Carter also scooped up an award for Best Costume Design. She was working behind-the-scenes of Netflix's Dolmite Is My Name
Congrats to all the winners.
On the carpet...
Zendaya went braless for the awards show. The “Euphoria” star sashayed down the blue carpet in a fuchsia Tom Ford chromed breastplate with a matching evening skirt. Sis twirled down the carpet, swinging her long box braids.
Gorge.
US star Lupita Nyong’o – who is a Lancome ambassador like Zendaya – looked like a goddess when she hit the carpet in a chocolate brown Michael Kors Collection gown. And if we’re not mistaken, we believe this is the first time she has worn brown on a carpet. She usually goes for bold colors, but we’re not at all mad at this look.
          View this post on Instagram
                  Full
A post shared by Lupita Nyong'o (@lupitanyongo) on Jan 12, 2020 at 7:27pm PST
  The Black Panther star ran into fellow actress Niecy Nash on the carpet.
The “Claws” actress kept it classy in this blue iridescent Tadashi Shoji Resort 2020 gown that featured a slit. She'll be starring in the upcoming LIFETIME film, The Kamiyah Mobley Story, set to premiere January 18th.
Y'all know EMMY winner Billy Porter loves to make a statement on a carpet. And this awards show was no different.
After wowing everyone in his tuxedo dress at the 2019 Academy Awards and working his pro-life "uterus" gown at the 2019 Tony Awards, the "POSE" actor opted to wear a jumpsuit for the Critics' Choice Awards.
Covered in butterfly body art, Billy hit the carpet in a two-tone green Hogan McLaughlin jumpsuit paired with white Coach 1941 turbo boots. Are we feelin' it?
"POSE" actor MJ Rodriguez - who made the 2019 TIME 100 list - worked this sparkly Moschino number on the carpet.  MJ was nominated in the Best Actress in a Drama Series category.
Nominee Cynthia Erivo – who was up for Best Actress for her role in HARRIET – floated inside the ceremony wearing a marble mosaic print Fendi couture gown, which she accessorized with glitzy David Webb drop earrings.
HARRIET's "Stand Up" track was also nominated for Best Song.
Dapper! "This Is Us" actor Sterling K. Brown - who was up for Best Actor in a Drama Series -looked sharp as hell in his tailored suit.
His wife/actress Ryan Michelle Bathe didn't disappoint either. "The First Wives Club" actress showed love to black designer Sergio Hudson, a native to her home state of South Carolina.
          View this post on Instagram
                  A little back story about the dress. @sergiohudson is from a little town in South Carolina, not too far from Blythewood, SC, a little town where I used to live. @sergiohudson is a designer who just so happens to be Black. I am very proud to be wearing a beautiful design by a Black man from South Carolina! @sergiohudson @bryonjavar @neillane @makeupbykai @marjthestylist
A post shared by Ryan Michelle Bathe (@ryanmichelleb) on Jan 12, 2020 at 9:22pm PST
    Get it!
"This Is Us" actress Susan Kelechi Watson - who plays Sterling's on-screen wife - turned up the heat in this sexy, white Galia Lahav gown.
You Ready? I’m Ready...#CriticsChoiceAwards2020 #CriticsChoice #omw pic.twitter.com/90GB3bpkP1
— Susan Kelechi Watson (@skelechiwatson) January 13, 2020
Come all the way through Susan. By the way, she recently got engaged. Get those deets HERE.
"This Is Us"/"When They See Us" star Asante Blackk made sure he was in the mix to celebrate both of his projects.
"This Is Us" was nominated for seven awards, including Best Drama Series.
The red carpet slayer strikes again!
Making up for that God awful dress she wore at the Golden Globes, Jennifer Lopez WOWED in a champagne Georges Hobeika cut-out gown.
Love the way it accentuates her curves, yet oozes elegance.
"All American" actor Taye Diggs was tapped as the host for the ceremony.
"Stranger Things"/"New Edition Story" actor Caleb McLaughlin was all smiles on the carpet.
The Lion King star Keegan-Michael Key and his wife Elisa Key were in the mix.
Funny guys Deuce and Mero wore all black everything.
Power suit!
Actress/comedienne Wanda Sykes brought her wife Alex Sykes as her date for the evening.
Trans activist Janet Mock showed up in Valentino couture. Not sure if we're feeling these gloves.
  Inside, everyone was all smiles will snapping it up together:
FAB times!
Photos: Getty/Backgrid/Splash/INSTAR
[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/01/13/2020-critics%E2%80%99-choice-awards-here%E2%80%99s-how-lupita-niecy-zendaya-billy-porter-more-slayed-the-
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battybat-boss · 6 years ago
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Do Bullies Always Win?
Trump's bullying worked with Canada, has half-worked with Iran and North Korea, but has had nothing but malign impact on Israeli-Palestinian relations.
The news that Canada has caved on trade has me depressed. The glee with which Donald Trump has announced his latest “victory” is galling. Sure, he didn't force Mexico and Canada to do everything he wanted in the replacement for the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). But he certainly can claim a public-relations coup. And his supporters in Congress are milking the moment for all it's worth.
“While many in Washington claimed it could not be done, President Trump worked tirelessly to bring Canada to the table and negotiate a new trade deal that is better for American workers and consumers,” said Republican Representative Steve Scalise.
Yes, yes, I know: The arc of the moral universe is long and it bends toward justice. The problem is, how long is the arc and how big is the universe? In the shorter term, such as the span of a human lifetime, injustice seems more likely the norm.
I would like to believe that Trump's game of chicken on foreign trade is simply not going to work. But what if it does? What if China blinks? What if the European Union buckles? The game of trade is not simply won by those who can negotiate the longest or write the most detailed treaties. It's often won by those who use crude displays of power.
Geopolitics is not a game for the faint of heart. It's the perfect playground for bullies.
Bullies were on the ascendant even before America's top tyrant won the presidency in 2016. Vladimir Putin, Rodrigo Duterte, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Daniel Ortega: These leaders all believe that their might makes right.
But Trump brings it to another level. Russia, Turkey, Nicaragua and the Philippines all have rich histories of strong men imposing their wills on resistant populations. The United States lacks that tradition. The rule of law is supposed to keep the bullies in check.
Now Trump is bringing into government a whole club of likeminded pugilists. John Bolton and Mike Pompeo are running foreign policy. The god-awful Jeff Sessions is rewriting the rules of law. And now Trump wants to stuff the Supreme Court with frat boys like Brett Kavanaugh, someone who has never known the difference between right and wrong and, in his most recent testimony, tried to bully Congress into confirming his nomination simply because he's, well, entitled to it. Ruthlessness got him this far in his career - why shouldn't he stick with this tactic?
It reminds me of my first day in middle school, when an older boy picked me out of the crowd of incoming sixth graders to punch my arm, a display of power that he enjoyed so much that he turned it into a daily ritual. But the current situation is much worse than that. It's like going to school and discovering that not only is that gang of jerks that hates you still controlling the hallways during breaks. Not only are they still extorting lunch money from the weak at lunch. Not only that, but they've taken over the classrooms and the administration, they decide who gets into what courses and what colleges, and they want to make your entire day a living hell.
Bullying Tactics
Bullies are often, though not always, scared of a real fight. They pick on the weak and the easily intimidated. They talk big. Donald Trump has always talked big. And he seems never to shy away from a fight. But those are verbal battles - in the press or in the courtroom. As for actual fighting, he notoriously avoided the Vietnam War, not for moral reasons but because of supposed bone spurs in his heels.
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Like most chickenhawks, Trump talks big about blowing up other countries and taking out their leaders. So far, however, he has only attacked some usual suspects - a few targets in Syria, a widespread bombing campaign in one of the poorest countries on earth (Afghanistan), and a continuation of the US drone program.
True, Trump might be gearing up for a war with Iran. He's being pushed in that direction by people inside his administration (like Bolton and Pompeo) as well as neocon hawks like Mark Dubowitz of the Foundation for Defense of Democracies (who recently called Trump a “Twitter tiger”).
But I suspect that Trump wants simply to bully Iran into submission. He has hit the country with the sanctions that the previous administration had removed as a result of the nuclear deal. Already, Iran's oil exports have dropped steeply by 870,000 barrels a day since April. The Trump administration has threatened to penalize any country that imports Iranian oil with secondary sanctions. As a result, South Korea and Japan have already stopped their orders. Meanwhile, US oil exports have gone up, in part to fill the gap.
Of course, not everyone has gone along with Trump. China in particular will continue to purchase Iranian products. And Europeans are openly defying Trump by crafting a deal with Tehran to preserve the nuclear deal and keep open trade and investment links. And oil prices are on the rise, which means more discontent at the pump in the US, particularly among Trump's carbon-guzzling supporters.
Trump says he wants a new nuclear deal. But really the end game is regime change in Tehran. For all but the craziest of neocons, the Iraq War has created a new kind of syndrome: maximum pressure, minimum military involvement. It's what some observers have cannily described as “regime change on the cheap.” So far, thanks to some powerful allies, Iran is hanging tough.
Big Stick, Then Talk
Perhaps if Kim Jong-un were Muslim or didn't have nuclear weapons or had made the supreme mistake of being nice to Barack Obama, Trump wouldn't be interested in sitting down to talk with him. As it was, Trump ratcheted up the rhetoric against North Korea in the first year of his term. Then he pivoted, against the advice of many in his administration, toward negotiations. The result was the Singapore summit in June, the first time a sitting American president met with a North Korean leader.
There have been a few interesting changes in the US-North Korea dynamic. The Pentagon agreed to suspend war games with South Korea last summer. Pyongyang has continued a moratorium on nuclear and missile testing as well as dismantled some non-essential parts of the nuclear complex. But the key problem remains the same. Who will make the first bold move?
Meanwhile, North and South Korea aren't waiting for Trump to get off the dime. They've already begun removing landmines from the Demilitarized Zone. At the last inter-Korean summit, North and South agreed to significant de-escalation, from a no-fly zone over the border to a transformation of the DMZ into a peace park. That's bold, and it's happening now.
As for Trump and Kim? They are apparently enjoying those early days in a romance when men's thoughts turn constantly to love. As Trump said at a recent rally in West Virginia: “I was really being tough and so was he. And we would go back and forth. And then we fell in love, ok? No really. He wrote me beautiful letters. And they're great letters. And then we fell in love.”
So, the two bullies have hit it off. No surprise there. But as in Romeo and Juliet, today's Montagues and Capulets haven't yet ended their generational conflict despite the love of the two principals. Such love affairs usually don't end well.
But let's say that it does, and the mutual bullying works. In reality, the détente between Washington and Pyongyang will have more to do with the patient negotiations of the quintessential anti-bully, South Korea President Moon Jae-in.
Stomping on the Palestinians
Trump has promised a brand new deal for Middle East peace. That's the fraudulent businessman at work. He's slapped a “new and improved” sticker on a product that is demonstrably inferior to its previous versions, and somehow he thinks the world will buy it.
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The Trump administration has put maximum pressure on Palestinians to negotiate from a progressively weaker position and minimum pressure on Israel to make any concessions at all. Trump has moved the US Embassy to Jerusalem (a major Israeli demand), zeroed out $200 million in bilateral assistance for Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank, cut US financial support for a UN agency that has long helped Palestinian refugees, and closed down the Palestinians' de facto embassy in Washington, DC.
The proper response to this bullying is, of course, to tell the Trump administration to shove its “deal of the century” right up its Foggy Bottom.
And it's not just Palestinians and liberal American Jews who feel this way. Here's what former Israeli military spokesman Peter Lerner has to say: “While it is Trump's prerogative to pick and choose whom to support, and how to support them, the ramifications of these abrupt steps will only empower the radicals. The deal of the century can't be made with Israel alone, and hardballing the Palestinians into submission is likely to blow up on Israel's doorstep.”
It's one thing bullying Iran and North Korea. These countries might be backed up against a wall, but they have choices. The Palestinians, after losing so much and then losing even more under Trump, basically have nothing left to lose - except their dignity. Why should they come to the negotiating table to trade this last resource for a manifestly unfair deal?
So, in the four examples cited, bullying worked with Canada, has half-worked with Iran and North Korea, and has had nothing but malign impact on Israeli-Palestinian relations.
Unfortunately, for Trump and his minions, bullying isn't just a tactic, it's a way of life.
The Comeuppance?
If life imitated Hollywood, the bullies would either experience a life-affirming conversion or get their just desserts.
Let's forget about the first option. Donald Trump, John Bolton, Mike Pompeo: These guys are not going to pull a David Brock and suddenly realize the many errors of their ways. Then what about option two? I'd love to see Trump and his crew escorted from the federal government to the federal penitentiary. But how many members of the George W. Bush administration faced prison time for the mishandling of the Iraq War, the torture policy and the other disasters of US foreign policy? Only one: Lewis Libby, for his role in the Valerie Plame affair. And how many members of the financial community went to prison for their role in the banking crisis of 2008? Again, only one.
It may turn out that a couple more Trumpsters have to face jail time as a result of the Mueller probe. Maybe even the president himself will be Caponed over his myriad tax scams. But I have my doubts that the aftermath of the 2020 elections will provide us with the grand spectacle of a mass perp walk from the White House.
Unfortunately, the victory of Donald Trump in the 2016 election disproved the adage that “cheaters never prosper.” Indeed, his whole life stands testament to the grim truth that cheaters, if they cheat on a truly grand scale, can get away with it. The same, alas, applies to bullies.
But not always. The #MeToo movement is only the latest reminder that organized resistance can bring down very powerful bullies. It's not exactly a Hollywood ending - not until they make a movie about Harvey Weinstein's rise and fall - but it's a whole lot better than suffering in silence. As for the Trump administration, well, I don't know about you but I'd like to shorten the arc of the moral universe and bend it a lot more acutely toward justice.
*[This article was originally published by FPIF.]
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect Fair Observer's editorial policy.
The post Do Bullies Always Win? appeared first on Fair Observer.
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newyorktheater · 6 years ago
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Off-Broadway in the Fall promises a new musical with book by Conor McPherson and music by Bob Dylan (“Girl from the North Country”); Glenn Close  as Joan of Arc’s mother (“Mother of the Maid”); Christine Lahti as Gloria Steinem (“Gloria: A Life”); a shadow cast of deaf actors signing in ASL while another cast is speaking in English (“I Was Most Alive With You”); real-life siblings Tyne Daly and Tim Daly as bickering siblings, on stage together in New York for the first time. (“Downstairs”)
There are new plays by Donna R.Love, Martyna Majok, Tom Stoppard; two old plays and a new musical by Lynn Nottage; revivals of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma and Sondheim’s Merrily We Roll Along. There is a re-creation of a refugee camp, plays about Korean and Arab immigrants to the U.S., American slaves, African porters
How to sort it all out?
Bob Dylan’s music in a new musical by Conor McPherson
Glenn Close as the mother of Joan of Arc
Lynn Nottage has a couple of revived plays and a new musical
Christine Lahti as Gloria Steinem
Tim Daly and Tyne Daly
Samuel D. Hunter
from The Jungle
from The Bachae
from The Head and the Load
from Days of Rage
One way is to group the shows under the theater that’s presenting or producing them. Unlike Broadway,  Off-Broadway is more than a collection of individual potential hits or misses. (See my Broadway 2018-2019 Season Preview Guide.)  It’s marked by theaters/theater companies that present whole seasons of original or originally interpreted work.
That is why the list of shows below is grouped primarily by the theaters, in order of my preference for them (determined by such factors as their recent track record, the promise of the new season, and by the overall experience I’ve had with the theater as theatergoer and critic.) I include underneath that a list of other highlights.
Click on the theater’s name for more information about the theater, and on the show title for more about the individual production.
(The asterisk *, explained more fully at the bottom, indicates the four theatrical empires that are both on and Off Broadway. Listed here are only their Off-Broadway offerings. Go to my Broadway preview guide for the rest)
I’ve put a red check mark — √ — besides a few shows about which I’m especially excited or intrigued. (I’ll only know if I was right to be interested once I see them.)
THE PUBLIC THEATER
425 Lafayette Street and in Central Park. Twitter: @PublicTheaterNY
Having originated both Hamilton and Fun Home, the Public is on a roll, the latest of many in the successful downtown empire that Joe Papp created half a century ago. (One of the plays this season is about Papp!) The Public is so popular these days that members have been complaining that their membership doesn’t guarantee tickets to the Public shows they want to see.
The Gospel at Colonus
September 4-9
Set in the context of a black Pentecostal service, an exuberant re-telling of Sophocles’ classic Oedipus at Colonus. Book, original lyrics and direction by Lee Breuer. Original music, adapted lyrics and music direction by Bob Telson. FREE
√ Girl from the North Country
September 11 – November 18. Opens October 1
Playwright Conor McPherson transforms Bob Dylan’s songbook to tell the story of a down-on-its-luck community on the brink of change in Duluth, Minnesota in 1934.
Mother of the Maid
September 25 – December 2. Opens October 17
Glenn Close plays Joan of Arc’s mother in this drama by Jane Anderson (“Olive Kitteridge”)
Eve’s Song
October 21 – December 2. Opens November 7.
In this play by Patricia Ione Lloyd directed by Jo Bonney, Deborah is trying to keep things normal at home in the aftermath of a messy divorce and a daughter coming out as queer. But as black people continue to be killed beyond their four walls, the outside finds its way in.
Wild Goose Dreams
October 30 – December 9. Opens November 14.
In Hansol Jung’s play, directed by Leigh Silverman, Minsung is a “goose father,” a South Korean man whose wife and daughter have moved to America for a better life. Deeply lonely, he escapes onto the internet and meets Nanhee, a young defector forced to leave her family behind in North Korea. Is connection possible?
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  ST. ANN’s WAREHOUSE
Although it primarily presents avant-garde European exports,  this Brooklyn theater climbs up in my preference thanks to Taylor Mac’s homegrown   24-Decade History of Popular Music  The two Fall shows this season both sound unmissable.
  √ Oklahoma
 September 27 – November 11. Opening October 7
Director Daniel Fish’s 75th anniversary production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s landmark musical upends the sunny romance between a farmer and a cowpoke with what has always been just below the surface. The cast includes Rebecca Naomi Jones, Mary Testa, and Ali Stroker.
√The Jungle
December 4 – January 13, 2019
Meet the hopeful, resilient residents of the Jungle – a sprawling refugee camp in Calais, France. Take a seat inside the bustling Afghan Café to experience how, with minimal resources in a cold, inhospitable environment, refugees and volunteers built a warm, self-governing society out of nothing
  NEW YORK THEATER WORKSHOP
79 East 4th Street. Twitter: @NYTW79
NYTW has gotten much attention over the past few years for presenting David Bowie’s musical “Lazarus,”    “Othello” with movie stars Daniel Craig and David Oyelowo, and “Mary Jane.” Its fare has ranged from the innovative and tuneful — “Hadestown” — to the cutting edge and incomprehensible — “Fondly, Collette Richland”
In the new season, there are no dates listed yet for four of the six shows.  Most are likely to be in Spring 2019, and, just from what we know about them (which isn’t much), they sound extremely promising.
What The Constitution Means To Me
September 12, 2018—October 21
Fifteen-year-old Heidi Schreck put herself through college by giving speeches about the U.S. Constitution. Now, the Obie Award winner resurrects her teenage self in order to trace the document’s profound impact on women’s bodies—including her own. Oliver Butler directs.
Mandy Patinkin in Concert
October 10 – 28
Slave Play
The old South lives on at the MacGregor Plantation in this antebellum fever-dream written by Jeremy O. Harris and directed by Robert O’Hara.
Hurricane Diane
In this play by Madeleine George directed by Leigh Silverman,  Diane is a gardener who is actually the Greek god Dionysus, returning to the modern world to gather mortal followers and restore the Earth to its natural state.
√?Sanctuary City
There are few clues as to the particulars of this play, but it’s written by Martyna Majok, last year’s Pulitzer Prize winner for “Cost of Living.,” who in such dramas as Ironbound and “queens” has given a voice to the new immigrant.   “DREAMers. Lovers. Life-long friends. Negotiating the promise of safety and the weight of responsibility, they’ll fight like hell to establish a place for themselves and each other in America”
√?Anna Deavere Smith project
No clue whatsoever as to its subject, but her one-woman shows about race riots in Crown Heights (“Fires in the Mirror”) and Los Angeles (“Twilight”), about health care (“Let Me Down Easy“), and about the school to prison pipeline (“Notes from the Field“) have made it clear that Anna Deavere Smith is one of our country’s greatest theater artists.
  PLAYWRIGHTS HORIZONS
416 W. 42nd St. Twitter: @PHNYC
Annie Baker’s “The Flick” is one of six plays that originated at Playwrights Horizons that have won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The theater offers new plays and musicals that are consistently worthwhile, in an environment that feels dedicated both to the theater artists and the theatergoers.
I Was Most Alive With You
September 1 – October 14. Opens September 24.
Craig Lucas’s play, performed simultaneously in English and ASL by two casts, focuses on Ash, who Is thankful for the gifts of his family, his addiction, and his son’s Deafness. But on one fateful day, everything’s taken from him.
The Thanksgiving Play
October 12 – November 25. Opens November 5.
Good intentions collide with absurd assumptions in Larissa FastHorse’s satire, as a troupe of terminally “woke” teaching artists scrambles to create a pageant that somehow manages to celebrate both Turkey Day and Native American Heritage Month.
Noura
November 27, 2018 – December 30, 2018
A play written by and starring Heather Raffo as Noura, who eight years ago, fled her home in Iraq along with her husband and family. Today, she plans the perfect Christmas dinner to celebrate their new life in New York. But the arrival of a visitor stirs up long-buried memories.
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  PRIMARY STAGES
In their second year in their new location at the Cherry Lane in the West Village, Primary Stages has a promising season lined up.
Final Follies
September 12 – October 21
Three one-act plays by A.R. Gurney, who died last year at the age of 86.
Downstairs
November 7 – December 22, 2018
Real-life siblings Tyne Daly and Tim Daly perform together for the first time on the New York stage in Theresa Rebeck’s new play as siblings Irene and  who’s staying uncomfortably in Irene’s basement, which leads to the unearthing of some troubling history. (Rebeck is also represented on Broadway this season with Bernhardt/Hamlet.)
God Said This (January) – In Leah Nanako Winkler’s play, five Kentuckians face mortality in very different ways.
Little Women (May) – Kate Hamill’s take on Louise May Alcott
ATLANTIC THEATER
Cofounded in 1985 by David Mamet and William H. Macy, this theater entered in a whole new realm of achievement with the acclaimed musical The Band’s Visit
Fireflies
September 26 – November 11
Written by Donja R. Love, starring Kris Davis (magnificent in Sweat and The Royale, now on FX’s Atlanta.) When four little girls are bombed in a church, the marriage between Charles (Davis) and Olivia (Dewanda Wise)  is threatened – as this tragedy and years of civil unrest leave Olivia believing that “this world ain’t no place to raise a colored child.”
Blue Ridge
Marin Ireland stars in this play by Abby Rosebrock as aprogressive high-school teacher with a rage problem who retaliates against her unscrupulous boss and is sentenced to six months at a church-sponsored halfway house, where she attends to everyone’s recovery but her own.
These two are in the Fall. There is more coming in 2019, including in May: The Secret Life of Bees, book by Lynn Nottage, music by Duncan Sheik
PARK AVENUE ARMORY
Although the Armory has been presenting theater for a decade, it’s not been a regular stop for me. A Room in India convinced me it should be, and The Damned confirmed it. As with St Anne’s Warehouse, the theater they present is largely European, cutting-edge, often hybrids, and they require patience and an open mind. They also just have a handful of shows per season. But, offered in the vast expanse of the Armory’s Drill Hall, these aren’t just shows; they’re events.
The Head and the Load
December 4 – 15
The title is a play on the Ghanaian proverb, “the head and the load are the troubles of the neck. William Kentridge’s collaborative combination musical piece, performance art and art installation is about the nearly two million African porters and carriers used by the British, French, and Germans who bore the brunt of the casualties during the First World War in Africa and the historical significance of this story as yet left largely untold.
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SECOND STAGE*
Last season, this 40-year-old theater became the fourth “non-profit” to produce theater both on and Off Broadway.
Days of Rage
October 9 – November 25
Steven Levenson (who wrote the book for Dear Evan Hansen) writes about five young idealists in the middle of a country divided, in October, 1969, who admit a mysterious newcomer to their collective, and the delicate balance they’ve achieved begins to topple.
LINCOLN CENTER THEATER*
@LCTheater
The shows at Lincoln Center’s Off-Broadway venues are inexpensive (especially at the Claire Tow theater, where initial-run tickets cost $20) and often rewarding. I’m hoping that someday they will be literally more inviting to independent New York theater critics.
Plot Points in Our Sexual Development
October 6 – November 18. Opens October 22
In this play by Miranda Rose Hall, Theo (Jax Jackson) and Cecily (Marianne Rendon) want to be honest about their sexual histories, but what happens when telling the truth jeopardizes everything?
The Hard Problem
October 25 – January 6, 2019. Opens November 19
In this new play by Tom Stoppard, directed by Jack O’Brien, Hilary (Adelaide Clemens) is a young psychology researcher who’s faced with a public quandary – what is consciousness – and a private sorrow.
  ROUNDABOUT* LAURA PELS
The empire that is now Roundabout includes three Broadway theaters, and that’s where most of the attention is focused, mostly on star-studded revivals, especially musicals.  But its fourth building houses two Off-Broadway theaters (one of them a tiny “Black Box” theater.) It is in its Off-Broadway facility that Stephen Karam’s The Humans originated, which went on to Broadway and Tony love. The Roundabout’s “Underground” series discovers new playwriting talent, with tickets priced at $25.
Apologia
September 27 – December. 16
Stockard Channing in a powerhouse performance as a woman facing the repercussions of her past, in this play by Alexi Kaye Campbell
Usual Girls
October 11 – December 9
In Ming Peiffer’s play, a boy threatens to tell on the girls for swearing on an elementary school playground, unless one of them kisses him. But just before lips can touch, Kyeoung tackles the boy to the ground. The victory is short-lived. Over the coming years, Kyeoung’s stories get stranger, funnier, more harrowing.
Merrily We Roll Along January) Fiasco Theater reimagines Stephen Sondheim’s musical about a trio of showbiz friends who fall apart and come together over 20 years, going backwards in time.
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS
Collective Rage: A Play in Five Betties (MCC)
Opens September 12
Meet five different women named Betty: one rich, one lonely, one charismatic, one lovelorn, and one who keeps working on her truck. Oh, and one has decided to stage a production of a play. The cast features Dana Delany, Lea DeLaria, Adina Verson, Ana Villafañe, Chaunté Wayans.
The True (The New Group)
Opens September 20
Edie Falco stars as Dorothea “Polly” Noonan, the blunt, profane, decades-long defender of Albany’s Democratic Party machine in Sharr White’s play. Co-starring Michael McKean as Albany’s embattled “mayor for life.”
The Bachae (BAM)
October 3-7
Euripides’ cautionary parable of hubris and fear of the unknown thrashes to new life in the hands of Anne Bogart, the renowned SITI Company.
√Lewiston/Clarkston (Rattlestick)
October 10 – December 2.
Samuel D. Hunter’s two plays focus on two modern-day descendants of the explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark. Each night “the plays will be performed together, in an intimate space for a small audience of only 51 guests who will gather to watch, to share a catered meal between the two productions, and to consider as a community our place in the ongoing American experiment.”
   √Gloria A Life (Daryl Roth Theater)
Opens October 18
Christine Lahti portrays Gloria Steinem in a new play by Emily Mann directed by Diane Paulus.
Fabulation, or The Re-Education of Undine (Signature)
Nov 19- Dec 30
A revival of a satire by Lynn Nottage: After her husband steals her fortune, successful African-American publicist Undine must move back into her childhood home in the Brooklyn projects,
Other companies and theaters worth checking out:
Ars Nova
Classic Stage Company
Mint Theater
Mayi Theater Company
  There are also commercial shows put together by independent producers that are presented in theaters for rent, such as:
Cherry Lane Theatre Daryl Roth Theatre Gym at Judson Lucille Lortel Theatre New World Stages Orpheum Theater The Players Theatre Snapple Theater Center Theatre Row Union Square Theater Westside Theatre
*THE ASTERISK: Off-Broadway AND Broadway
*Just to complicate matters, several of the resident theaters also present shows in Broadway theaters they own  –  Lincoln Center (Vivian Beaumont Theater), Manhattan Theater Company or MTC (the Samuel J. Friedman), the Roundabout Theater Company (American Airlines, Stephen Sondheim, Studio 54), and starting this season, Second Stage Theatre, which has bought the Helen Hayes. Their Broadway offerings are listed in my Broadway 2017-2018 Season Guide
What Is Broadway, Off-Broadway, Off-Off Broadway?
Off-Broadway theaters, by definition, have anywhere from 100 to 499 seats. If a theater has more seats than that, it’s a Broadway house. If it has fewer, it’s Off-Off Broadway.
There are some terrific Off-Off Broadway theaters, sometimes confused for Off-Broadway. These include (but are not limited to) The Flea, Labyrinth Theater, and LaMaMa ETC.
Monthly Calendar of Openings
Because there are so many shows Off-Off Broadway, and their runs are so limited, I include them in my monthly theater preview calendar (along with Broadway and Off Broadway openings) posted near the beginning of each month.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
For more information about Off-Broadway, go to  The League of Off-Broadway Theatres and Producers (aka The Off-Broadway League).  This should not be confused with the Off-Broadway Alliance, which is a separate organization (though they should probably merge, no?)
What’s Off-Broadway Dough? Does that mean there’s not much of it? pic.twitter.com/KHH1kApUzb
— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) September 4, 2016—-
Off Broadway Fall 2018 Preview Guide Off-Broadway in the Fall promises a new musical with book by Conor McPherson and music by Bob Dylan ("Girl from the North Country"); Glenn Close  as Joan of Arc’s mother ("Mother of the Maid"); Christine Lahti as Gloria Steinem ("Gloria: A Life"); a shadow cast of deaf actors signing in ASL while another cast is speaking in English ("I Was Most Alive With You"); real-life siblings Tyne Daly and Tim Daly as bickering siblings, on stage together in New York for the first time. 
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davidsilvercloud · 7 years ago
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THE DAILY GRIND… ARE WE THERE YET?
Be Prepared… Naloxone Training and Kits, British Columbia.  Free. Free is a very good price. http://www.naloxonetraining.com/
The British Columbia Government ALSO provides FREE ANTIVIRAL HIV drugs to at-risk persons.  Ask your doctor.  If you don't have a doctor, ask a pharmacist for assistance.  Flu shots are available for free at pharmacies for many people.
Saturday, 6 Jan. 2018  Kinda grey and gloomy with rain, cool out there, in Vancouver, today.  I wuz up at 9am.  Having a regular kind of day... coffee, T3, painting, watching TV.  American Dad is on, just now.  Seen it before... the Noah's Ark episode where Stan loses his faith then regains it.
I'm an Atheist and a militant one, at that.  The idea of a 'god' is totally ludicrous to me unless it is, simply, a metaphor for the sum of all existence.  That is not a person, personality, nor being.  The concept of a creator 'god' is about as ridiculous as it comes.  Speaking, of which, humans are going to have some serious issues dealing with Artificial Intelligence, in the future... man being the creator, as it were.  Does Artificial Intelligence have rights?  Do animals have rights?  What makes YOU so special?
As a physicist, I view this life as being so extraordinarily brief, in the scheme of totality, it barely registers as existing, in the first place.  Time is relative to size... how big you are.  Time is a measurement, not a place nor thing.  It does not speed up, nor slow down... it's a measurement.  Reality may seem to speed up, or slow down (you can walk or take the bus or plane and get there 'quicker'), but time remains the same because it's just marks on a ruler.  There is, absolutely, no place in time nor space called year zero.  You could calculate where the Milky Way was 2,000 years ago, and adjust the position of Earth within the Galaxy (it moves 7 billion Kilometres a year through the Galactic ring), but we aren't certain what the physical speed of the Milky Way through space is... estimates are about 250 Kilometres per second.  You would have to re-arrange the entire universe to get there... back 'in time' as it were.  Get over it... time travel is impossible.
We are Electronic beings, entirely dependent upon information being provided by way of a particle called the Electron.  We can not exist without Electrons.  We can not see, touch/feel, nor hear without Electrons.  Our bodies won't work without Electrons... our neural network is 100% dependent upon them.  Electricity and Electronics will not work without Electrons.  Our entire reality is based on the physical size of the Electron which is very, very, very small... but it sets what we call the Speed of Light.  Electrons are magnets and they power the universe by fighting each other... there are two kinds, left and right spinning Electrons.  The resistance they have, to each other, powers the universe at the micro level of reality.
We are so very, very small we barely qualify as dust, in the universe.  Why are YOU so important?  Me... I don't like this world.  I consider it to be a living hell in which I got off reasonably lucky.  Most don't.  Forever is a very long time and I don't think you'd enjoy it.
http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com
I just try to be useful in my old age, go with the flow, and try to enjoy the day to day as best I can.  I spend a lot of time painting.  I live alone and rarely talk to anyone.  I'm 73 years old... 74 in Oct. 2018.  I don't do social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc.  I consider them to be co-dependent traps of idiocy.  I attempt to record ideas, concepts,  places and events and post them to my personal sites or my YouTube sites.  So long as I'm still alive I keep a home page at...
http://ButchBoard.com
“My little Eric can be, sometimes, a bit dramatic”  Eric Cartman’s Mother/South Park
“it’s time to go home.  The insurance company said you’re as well as they’re going to pay for” Doctor Hibbert/The Simpsons
THIS IS THE END OF THE DAILY GRIND.
“He who controls the stuffing, controls the Universe.”  Alien Pilgrim transported through a worm hole to Earth/South Park.
IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN HERE, BEFORE, HERE IS MORE STUFF TO READ…
"Take me with you... I hate it here"  Bill Dautry/King of the Hill
“People who have never seen a movie say it’s a great movie”  Apu/The Simpsons
“There is no God, Ned.  It’s just an empty meaningless void”  Maude Flanders’ ghost/The Simpsons
I repeat myself, a lot, because I know humans are really bad at paying attention, and understanding much of anything they read.  Quite, bluntly, I consider most humans to be walking, talking, bonehead idiots.  I’m doing as best I know how to save you from your ignorance and stupidity.
I’m a bit OCD and ADHD and go on, and on, like a dripping tap.  Think Sheldon Cooper, if that rings some kind of bell.  I gather it’s some kind of need I have to be, constantly, in complete control of everything.  I quite simply assume everyone around me is a complete idiot.  The humans aren’t doing a very good job of convincing me otherwise.  You must prove yourself to me.  Seriously, I mean it.  I expect to be disappointed.   Show me what you’ve got and back it up with proof.
http://DavidSilvercloud.com (Blog)    (http://David_Silvercloud.Tumblr.com)
http://ButchNews.com (Video)     (http://YouTube.com/ButchNews)
http://ButchNaked.com (Photo Stream)    (http://Flickr.com/David_Silvercloud)
http://SeriousThunder.com (Art)
http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com    
THE MIGHTY ELECTRON.  Electrons are magnets and there are two different kinds... left spin and right spin Electrons. The sum of all Electrons, in the universe, is greater than the sum of ALL other particles.  Might is right.  Force rules.  They are the smallest stable particles in the universe.  You can't do anything without them... your central nervous system runs on Electrons.  Light speed is about 1 foot per nano second.  If the distance from your finger on the hot stove to your brain is three feet, then it will take six nano seconds for you to react... how fast the message can get to your bran and back to your finger to get if off the stove.  Electrons react to Dark Energy (Magnetism) and control the Diamagtism/Paramagnetism/Feromagnetism of all elements.  Not all elements react equally to magnetism.
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