#spext: bussy time

[kringelorde]

chicot and bussy are united in "I did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me"

[kringelorde]

"the ambassador must be either recklessly brave or exceptionally stupid"

bussy immediately teleporting into the room like "you rang?"

[kringelorde]

the white boots elevate this. sluttiest little caramel machiatto fit I've ever seen. tall glass of water but overpriced coffee. excellent drip, bussy. I desire you carnally.

[kringelorde]

count bussy I need you to end monsoreau's life expeditiously this mf cannot be allowed to continue

[kringelorde]

people will argue that la dame de monsereau is simplistic and campy and melodramatic or whatever like it’s a bad thing and I cannot disagree more simply on the grounds that bussy himself is an absolute treat.

he gets caught secretly swapping spit with another guy’s wife and then decides that his best defense is to just go be a whore and swap spit with another woman in plain sight.

whether or not there will be a civil war is dependent on one horny lovestruck dumbass gesturing from behind a curtain to his prince to advise him in real time negotiations with the queen.

he enacts martial law to goof on the fucking queen mother and giggles about it like a schoolgirl with his totally heterosexual life partner doctor.

he pretends he brought his friend a boytoy and insists that he shouldn’t knock it before he tries it but said boytoy is actually just the guy’s wife that he snuck into the palace bc he thought it’d be fun.

his very first job is to show up and be so annoying and insulting that four guys try to kill him.

he takes credit for something he didn’t do purely bc he thinks it would be the funny thing to do. said thing is petty revenge on one of the king’s innermost circle by dunking him in a vat of indigo dye.

his page is far too excited to strip in front of him.

he has a gaggle of gossips who sit outside the prince’s door with him while the count is inside getting ripped a new one and do the equivalent of “oooo he’s in trouuubbleeee!”. they are all grown men and french nobility.

he calls a dude hideous more or less to his face bc he thinks he deserved the guy’s post more.

there’s something wrong with him.

[kringelorde]

oh boy sweaty domogorov time!!

[kringelorde]

sleep deprived. bussypilled.

[kringelorde]

the fanciful tales of count bussy have done nothing if not convince me that there are too many fucking henrys in this godforsaken shithole of a country. get rid of them.

the one on the throne can stay purely bc I’ve never seen a man who looked more like an anxious borzoi in my life.

[kringelorde]

if I was his highness the bitch of anjou, I'd have my minstrel shot for how shit he is at his job

[kringelorde]

"I wish to die as soon as possible"

ah...

[kringelorde]

bussy yes, bussy no, bussy YES, bussy relief

[kringelorde]

deploying the equivalent of chlorine gas in like 4 different, tiny tags by drawing bussy x bohun purely bc I think it's funny but putting full effort into it

[kringelorde]

wild how oim and la dame were shot at the same time and yet how insanely distinct bussy and bohun are in everything from manner to appearance to way of talking

[kringelorde]

really wanna know which dumas books my dad’s read bc he said that he loves the man’s writing in general bc it’s just a treat to read. have you read this thing, dad. have you seen what the fuck is happening. why was I not informed sooner.