#spiders r just leggy bois

[sugar-petals]

Sub!Namjoon A-Z 

note: posts for other members linked in m.list!

⚠️ warnings: dom/sub dynamics, smut, bdsm

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

In the mood to talk a lot. Might appreciate a high five. I’m not even kidding.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Confident about his legs. Always uses a metric ton of lotion to make them extra soft for you to fondle. Might go through a few bottles a month because wow, his legs have a lot of well um leggy leg to be slathered. For you... similar area, he likes your feet to worship. 

c = cum (anything to do with cum basically… i’m a disgusting person)

How much more playful can he get. At your command, he’ll lick it off your butt. Sex with Namjoon is always super creamy-sloppy-sweaty anyways, he has a lot to gobble up.

d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Most of the other members have as many secrets as they have fingers, Namjoon, however, will exceed that by far. He wants to try shibari, sounding, pet play, flogging, collaring, and basically everything that comes with spreader bars and gimps. Clearly spends too much time on the internet because holy cow, that’s ambitious. But you can take it as a compliment to your skill, or rather, Namjoon’s conviction that you master a lot of kinks.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In his mind, and in general terms of knowledge, very much so. He’s not just well-versed with humanitarian thought, kink is not safe from his curiosity. Practically, less so, but he learns fast with your lead.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying.)

Up against a wall. He is not above begging for you to pin him to one everywhere. Also his favorite mode of making out, by the way.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Oops! By accident. Like when removing pants, trying to at least, because his boner often gets stuck, or stumbling across the room entangled with you, trying to head towards the bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Will definitely experiment with razors a lot. Because let’s face it, Namjoon is like straight out of a shaving commercial. Imagine him in those scenarios where the guy is all sensual under the shower with cream dripping everywhere, or leaning against the mirror wall. It’s totally worth filming.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

You probably have to prevent him from getting super cheesy... or allow it because oh my, he becomes even more hopelessly subby from that.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Edging, edging, edging. Him masturbating gets him into all sorts of trouble and everyone in BTS has at least one Kim ‘Fap Monster’ Namjoon story they can drunkenly tell at a party to embarrass him for eternity. He’s most infamous for moaning far too loud during climax and even talking to himself, or accidentally streaming his session into the group chat. The first sex-related thing that you’ll ever do is establish a couple rules for Fap Monster to follow, and generally engage in more guided masturbation than having him do it alone.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

The question remains, what kink doesn’t he have! But I get it, something specific, let’s see. That would be breast sucking. And not just on you, we all know the perks of Namjoon’s chest.

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

Now hear me out. It’s not the library, but something even more... out of the ordinary. Namjoon would totally be ready to have sex in abandoned places of some sort given that there’s not a spider every corner and unsafe debris. Maybe for nostalgic value, or the sheer thrill. You’ll have to talk about it.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Different every week. He will gladly explain that to you in his 2 AM texts that read like a Kant chapter each. 

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Now we had that, it’s more difficult to pinpoint that one. Nams would probably mention something that doesn’t go in accordance with his moral values and is general common sense either way, like some kind of creepy race/non-con play or certain forms of edge play torture that take hygiene concerns to a new level and would shred anyone without 10 years of experience. Besides exchanging thoughts with you, he’ll get busy in some BDSM forums online and inform himself on how the consensus is. Namjoon is definitely the type to know about what is controversial and being careful with that. He is kinky, but role model kinky. 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh man. What can’t he do with his tongue. And those lips... fit perfectly on your labia. Surely equal amounts giving and receiving, 69 ahoy.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sex with Namjoon is so dynamic, speed hardly stays the same over the course of a few minutes. Ever heard his tracks? You can assess how a rapper fucks by his mixtape alone. He switches flow every ten bars. That’s how Namjoon is in bed. 

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You can jump on his dick as often as you please, problem is that Namjoon’s masturbation troubles transfer to your quickies as well. I think there’s a reason why abandoned places are perfect because otherwise, the whole world will know.

r = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

90% risk, 10% contemplation. That might seem unusual for him, but in your presence, Namjoon quickly becomes a bit of a carefree guy. Hormones are one hell of a drug. But! It’s good to see him leave his mind palace.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

To be fair: He tries and tries and tries. All that edging does give him a few bonus minutes of endurance, but 15 minutes is the limit. Two rounds max. 

t = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

One of the few members who isn’t caught up in the toy mania. Seriously, can you imagine Joon operating something like a Sybian? It’s not him. Instead, he prefers you to bring your own collection along, who said Kim Namjoon doesn’t like some anal beads to stretch him out.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

His teasing is so subtle, it’s a test for your intelligence. If you don’t get it, he can still do one of his infamous simple, but effective winks to get your attention. The guy has several methods up his sleeve and thinks you’re cool anyways. Namjoon is a pretty sophisticated flirt, you’ll love that.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Boy, what a confusion is that going to be for the neighbors. “Is Y/N watching Jurassic World again?” Nope, it’s your man making some weird inhuman noises and he’s proud of them. 

w = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You can definitely take him hiking and have a lot of fun in the mountains, you know. Again, that saves civilization from Namjoon’s lack of vocal control and you have free reins to really make him choke and moan in the meadows.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Doctors hate him! How did Kim Namjoon grow such an impressive 8th member of BTS reaching from Ilsan to Seoul? Citizens use it as a bridge! Buy his secrets for just 70.99$! Now I’m joking, Namjoon dabbles around upper average independently of his body height, and you can be glad because if that was in true proportion your gynecologist would be the one hating him and that third leg. He’s definitely material for cock and ball torture, lots of areas to work with. Add the ass he’s been growing to spank. I swear the guy’s a sex symbol.  

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

How to describe it. Namjoon has a lot of pizzazz. It magically goes to sleep in the presence of books though.

z = zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Click! Lights off. It happens pretty fast so you have to wrap it up quickly and kiss your koala goodnight. 

[eunstarrywoo]

ABC Tag

I was tagged by @otter-minhyuk ten days ago. But guess what; I forgot about it, so here I am now.

tagging: @candradm , @jinkernoodle , @bookdragonthings , @binubin , @starlightbangtann , @1991shinwoo , @thefireflydreamsonganymede , @get-t-rekt , @hyun-swoon

Note: no one has to do this, but I needed to tag people

A: Age | 20

B: Birthplace | Iowa

C: Current Time | 6:25 PM

D: Drink you had last | water (for once I’m being healthy)

E: Easiest person to talk to | the one I talk to the most is @aspiring-ssr-agent and since I’ve known her for years, it’s pretty easy to talk to her. @candradm is pretty easy to talk to too even though I’ve known her for only a little over a year. @jinkernoodle and @bookdragonthings are also close friends easy to talk too.

F: Favorite song | right now it’s either O Sole Mio by SF9, Step by Step by ZE:A or Tomorrow, Today by JJ Project (check them out. they are wonderful. love them)

G: Grossest memory | one time, years ago, at my day camp, we were at the river, and we could smell something terrible. when we searched for it, we found this dead creature in one of the side streams leading into the river. the elements of nature had stripped it of its fur, so it just looked like a pale sac. it was probably a raccoon, but it was so bloated and stinky we left it alone and just made sure everyone stayed upriver of it. it wasn’t really that gross, but that’s all I could think of

H: Hogwarts house | Hufflepuff

I: In love? | I have lots of small crushes every day, but nothing I consider to be love (and I’m not in a relationship either so yeah)

J: Jealous of people | I’m more envious than jealous. jealousy implies that I’m afraid they’ll take something that I have, yet I have nothing worth taking. I’m envious of people who have their life in order or at least those who can bullshit it so well that it seems like they do

K: Killed someone | RIP to all the spiders, ants, and leggy/silverfish critters that I’ve smashed throughout the years

L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? | walk by again. you haven’t noticed me yet

M: Middle name | Rae

N: Number of siblings | one younger sister

O: One wish | to be able to choose to redo anything if I fuck it up (which I will) and have it so that no one remembers the previous attempt

P: Person you called last | a coworker. we had gotten busy at work and needed her ASAP

Q: Question you are always asked | “What’s your major/what are you studying?” (English) and “Do you want to teach with it?” I hate the second question so much. There are so many options for an English degree beyond simply teaching. Why does it always have to be teaching?? I escaped from my El Ed major only to be greeted with this everytime I’m asked what my major is. I want to scream.

R: Reason to smile | bro, cats exist (to everyone who thought I would say dogs, cats are just as lovable and friendly as dogs. I love cats so much. I'm going to become the crazy cat lady when I'm thirty)

S: Song you last sang | Try Everything by Shakira (yes, it’s the song from Zootopia. sue me, it’s a great song and a great movie)

T: Time you woke up | 10 AM

U: Underwear color | boy short style, teal, hamburger print

V: Vacation destination | EVERYWHERE but specifically New Zealand

W: Worst habit | nail-biting and having a short attention span for literally everything

X: X-rays | only occasionally at the dentist

Y: Your favorite food | at my work we have a delicious Tom Yum soup but I also love fresh snow crab legs. I am an expensive bitch

Z: Zodiac sign | Taurus