#staunchly refusing to have the conversation doesn't make the behavior cease to exist
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#i've seen a lot of 'i used to ship x relationship and then i realized it was toxic' or 'i like x relationship but they're soooo toxic'#and it's just...... kind of weird to me?#like if you enjoy something and the only reason you're trying to convince yourself you don't or shouldn't is bc of toxicity it's like#why does that matter#the characters are fictional the relationship is fictional#and if you're aware it's toxic clearly you're also aware that you shouldn't idolize that kind of dynamic#so what exactly is the issue#why deprive yourself of something you genuinely enjoy out of fear of liking a 'toxic' ship#also believe me i have so many issues w the label toxic as a whole lmfao#i think people often use that as a way to write things off and not have the difficult conversations#something is ~bad and unhealthy~ so we shouldn't even dignify it by talking about it#which is....... not really how anything works?#staunchly refusing to have the conversation doesn't make the behavior cease to exist#and imo it's way more productive to unpack ~toxic~ behavior to see where it comes from and why it exists#that's the best way to avoid replicating it tbh#like use fiction use these larger than life portrayals of humanity to understand the world and understand people around you#instead of running from anything deemed ~toxic~ and believe me there's another convo to be had about how toxic is a catch all#and ignores so much nuance#idk just some thoughts bc i keep seeing toxic used to shut down conversations and shame your own enjoyment of things and it's#weird lmfao
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