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#and ignores so much nuance
The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
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bigskydreaming · 2 months
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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a-heart-of-kyber · 8 months
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I can only speak as a person raised Catholic (heh...), but let me present a wild scenario.
Could you imagine the actual Holy Spirit having a clear and direct sentient influence in your child's life?
With this connection to the Holy Spirit, he starts performing absolutely insane miracles that a Child shouldn't be capable of and by the age of 8 God's chosen priest shows up like "Hey kid, have you heard of our lord and savior Jesus Christ? In my day, he was super sexy. You’re special. I'm going to train you and later you should probably go to a religious school."
And then, by age 17ish, Jesus himself shows up like, "Yes, twas me the whole time. Let me train you one on one my child." And then a year later, your son tells you he's sleeping with Jesus?
Like...does this help anyone understand what happened to Gale better? Or does it help that the Mystra analog is depicted as a man? Do you need me to hold your hand and tell you that even if Gale showed interest, it was on Mystra, as the omniscient god with all the power in the relationship and Future sight?!, to not fucking sleep with the mortal who maybe became an adult 5 minutes ago?
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natsmagi · 2 months
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honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her
and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse
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I disagree that the daddy kink convo should've been replaced with a heartfelt meaningful conversation about their mutual issues with their fathers because as much as you complain that the relationship isn't developed for Buck, it isn't developed for Tommy either, and it would be a disservice to the reserved guy that Lou says that Tommy is to make him immediately open up to someone without showing the proper progression and storyline leading up to that
the kink convo worked for both characters (both are just dawgs i guess), it was very mutual, and i still don't understand the perspective that Tommy's comment came out of nowhere, i run based off of the assumption that all flirty buck convos are... flirty...????
I understand why people want this, because the acknowledgement of Buck's parental issues comes with a burning desire to have a genuine conversation about it, but something that fits his character should not come at the cost of another character.
A scene should fit to everyone involved, and at most, it should've been a kind of... maybe a conversation of buck going 'yeahh... i got issues with my dad, that's why Bobby means so much to me, he's kinda like the dad i never had.' and Tommy's response being 'Yeah, i see that... my dad sucked but i had Gerrard who sucked too, so... yeah... he's the dad i already did have lol.'
OH...
OH WAIT...
ITS ALMOST LIKE THEY DID.
this conversation should happen eventually, but when it actually has meaning. At a point where Tommy is actually going to be willing to open up a little more (since we kinda see that he is a little bit more reserved with Buck still in this season), and maybe it's in favour of servicing Buck as a character, or Tommy, or BOTH. But you cannot put a character on the line bc you pearl clutch over the fact that your 'baby' pretty boy fucks severely.
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moerusai · 7 months
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, Man Suang is a movie to watch multiple times to unpack all the lies and twists and unreliable narratives, to appreciate the performances and choices that each actor makes to stay true to their character among such a big ensemble cast.
Even then, there are still nuances to catch with every rewatch (trust me, I'm on my fifth).
The lackluster English subtitle (partly due to the translator's negligence, but mostly due to the subtlety being lost in translation) certainly doesn't do the dialogues and the storyline justice.
So I think some of us, especially those from Western cultures, could do to sit down and contemplate a movie so rooted in a specific culture before sharing, frankly, insensible opinions on it.
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laniidae-passerine · 4 months
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catch me laughing in the club awkwardly because this season has a 19 year old blonde female companion from London, a space travelling left of law brunette queer boy who flirts heavily with the doctor, absolutely zero writers of colour and no mention of sensitivity readers…….and next season the new companion is a woman of colour. uh oh!
#he’s not stupid enough to do Martha again but be REAL with me. do you think this man can handle writing for a brown woman and a black man#and make it in any way genuinely tasteful. the one race he’s punched down and the other he’s basically ignored during his tenure :/#rtd seems to think because he has the lived experience of the great struggles of being queer in the 80s and onwards#which was a serious struggle and came with its issues#that he understands being a person of colour? like he wrote an episode about racism and then laughed about not needing a sensitivity reader#before he handed it off to ncuti. but it needed one because it was a stupid episode because he’s white and moreover#seems to think he understands WITHOUT actually getting any of the nuance. which makes it worse.#im just concerned to put it lightly#like chibnall’s bad habit was ‘good episode followed by a bad episode so bad you forget the good episode even existed’#but at least he got writers of colour in to make some of those episodes! he actually cared! and also fumbled real bad (nazi uniform… ://)#still. he actually gave it a pretty good shot and opened some doors behind the scenes. like the writer’s room which is just as important#and also in the scenes tbf like yaz and ryan sharing scenes as poc companions during the same run was groundbreaking#and rtd just closed them again going actually no im doctor who’s most specialist boy and we should do my run all over again#stop this man. get someone new in. he is not much better than chibnall rn like he is not batting hits#stop letting the world’s most charismatic doctor (ncuti i will get rid of regeneration to keep you. i love you. wish you had better writing)#distract you from the fact RTD is doing a ‘biggest hits’ tour rn. stop him!!!!!!! please can we have a showrunner of colour! a woman! please#rtd critical#doctor who#dw
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ladyrijus · 1 year
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Thinking about how Link trembled before Mipha's statue in Breath of the Wild as he remembered who she was to him, and how his heart must have ached in Tears of the Kingdom when he saw her again in the beautiful court built in her name.
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Everytime you attack a trannie for lovingly calling his friend a dyke, or a dyke for lovingly calling her friend a faggot, a 19 year old gay on twitter loses 10 more productive thoughts about intersectionality and solidarity to the void.
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redysetdare · 1 year
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listen when we say we need aroace rep - we MEAN we need AROACE REP. becuze shock of all shocks, a character being just ACE is not aroace rep! same with a character being just aro is not aroace rep. not all aroace ppl see their aro and ace identities as separate.
I for one, find it difficult to separate my aro and ace identities from each other which is why i am AROACE and not aro and ace. A character being only ace is not representing me. I do not feel represented by only an ace character. they are not even half representing me because my asexuality goes hand in hand with my aromantisism. and Ace character is not half representing aroace people. I'm sorry but i do not relate to the alloace experience because i am not alloace. so a character being only ace is not relatable to me because they are not aroace. the same goes for if a character was only aro or aroallo.
Now before anyone decides to misinterpret this post to hell and back I'm not saying that aroallo or alloace rep is bad or shouldn't exist. I'm saying stop throwing aroace rep under the bus because "Actually we need more just aro/just ace rep" as if that somehow solves the issue of aroace rep being nonexistent.
#text#aro#aroace#ace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#also if i see someone be like 'ok but all ace rep is aroace they just call it ace' im going to strangle u#if they call it ace then it is ace!!!! it is not magically aroace because u decided thats what they REALLY meant#yeah society doesnt recognize aro as an identity but that doesnt mean that all ace characters are ACTUALLy aroace im going to explode u#im just tired of it being thought that aroace ppl have it so much better and dont need rep as much as just aro or just ace ppl#im tired of aroace ppl getting thrown under the bus because we are aro and ace and so obviiously we get double the rep or some bs#if you think this is about a post you are wrong it is about many posts all saying the same thing#because even in our own communities aroace ppl are the punching bags#because no matter where we go ppl are shit talking part of our identity or treating it as less than#i swear the communities focus on fully separating aro and aceness has been more detrimental than helpful#it's gotten to a point yall think there cant be any overlap ever and have sorta pushed aroace ppl out of both communities#because 'you cant bring ace experiences into aro spaces! not everyone who is aro is aroace!'#'you cant bring aro experiences into ace spaces because not all aces are aro! we can feel love and have relationships!!!'#basically ignoring the nuance and overlap our communities have in order to try to be seen as independent identities.#idk i miss when we would work together and understand each identity as different but also see that there was similarities and overlap
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spacedlexi · 7 months
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Hi Lexi
What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.
I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?
But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.
i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons
violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)
so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as
the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)
kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses
neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it
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boyfridged · 2 years
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i’ve been thinking a lot about what is so unique and appealing about 80s robin jay’s moral standing that got completely lost in plot later on. and i think a huge part of it is that in a genre so focused on crime-fighting, his motivations and approach don’t focus on the category of crime at all. in fact, he doesn’t seem to believe in any moral dogma; and it’s not motivated by nihilism, but rather his open-heartedness and relational ethical outlook.
we first meet (post-crisis) jay when he is stealing. when confronted about his actions by bruce he’s confident that he didn’t do anything wrong – he’s not apologetic, he doesn’t seem to think that he has morally failed on any account. later on, when confronted by batman again, jay says that he’s no “crook.” at this point, the reader might assume that jay has no concept of wrong-doing, or that stealing is just not one of the deeds that he considers wrong-doing. yet, later on we see jay so intent on stopping ma gunn and her students, refusing to be implicit in their actions. there are, of course, lots of reasons for which we can assume he was against stealing in this specific instance (an authority figure being involved, the target, the motivations, the school itself being an abusive environment etc.), but what we gather is that jay has an extremely strong sense of justice and is committed to moral duty. that's all typical for characters in superhero comics, isn't it? however, what remains distinctive is that this moral duty is not dictated by any dogma – he trusts his moral instincts. this attitude – his distrust toward power structures, confidence in his moral compass, and situational approach, is something that is maintained throughout his robin run. it is also evident in how he evaluates other people – we never see him condemning his parents, for example, and that includes willis, who was a petty criminal. i think from there arises the potential for a rift between bruce and jay that could be, have jay lived, far more utilised in batman comics than it was within his short robin run.
after all, while bruce’s approach is often called a ‘philosophy of love and care,’ he doesn’t ascribe to the ethics of care [eoc] (as defined in modern scholarship btw) in the same way that jay does. ethics of care ‘deny that morality consists in obedience to a universal law’ and focus on the ideals of caring for other people and non-institutionalized justice. bruce, while obviously caring, is still bound by his belief in the legal system and deontological norms. he is benevolent, but he is also ultimately morally committed to the idea of a legal system and thus frames criminals as failing to meet these moral (legal-adjacent) standards (even when he recognizes it is a result of their circumstances). in other words, he might think that a criminal is a good person despite leading a life of crime. meanwhile, for jay there is no despite; jay doesn't think that engaging in crime says anything about a person's moral personality at all. morality, for him, is more of an emotional practice, grounded in empathy and the question of what he can do for people ‘here and now.’ he doesn’t ascribe to maxims nor utilitarian calculations. for jay, in morality, there’s no place for impartiality that bruce believes in; moral decisions are embedded within a net of interpersonal relationships and social structures that cannot be generalised like the law or even a “moral code” does it. it’s all about responsiveness. 
to sum up, jay's moral compass is relative and passionate in a way that doesn't fit batman's philosophy. this is mostly because bruce wants to avoid the sort of arbitrariness that seems to guide eoc. also, both for vigilantism, and jay, eoc poses a challenge in the sense that it doesn't create a certain 'intellectualised' distance from both the victims and the perpetrators; there's no proximity in the judgment; it's emotional.
all of this is of course hardly relevant post-2004. there might be minimal space for accommodating some of it within the canon progression (for example, the fact that eoc typically emphasises the responsibility that comes with pre-existing familial relationships and allows for prioritizing them, as well as the flexibility regarding moral deliberations), but the utilitarian framework and the question of stopping the crime vs controlling the underworld is not something that can be easily reconciled with jay’s previous lack of interest in labeling crime. 
#fyi i'm ignoring a single panel in which jay says 'evil wins. he chose the life of crime' because i think there's much more nuance to that#as in: choosing a life of crime to deliberately cause harm is a whole another matter#also: inb4 this post is not bruce slander. please do not read it as such#as i said eoc is highly criticised for being arbitrary which is something that bruce seeks to avoid#also ethics of care are highly controversial esp that their early iterations are gender essentialist and ascribe this attitude to women#wow look at me accidentally girl-coding jay#but also on the topic of post-res jay.#it's typically assumed that ethics of care take a family model and extend it into morality as a whole#'the ethics of care considers the family as the primary sphere in which to understand ethical behavior'#so#an over-simplification: you are allowed to care for your family over everything else#re: jay's lack of understanding of bruce's conflict in duty as batman vs father#for jay there's no dilemma. how you conduct yourself in the familial context determines who you are as a person#also if you are interested in eoc feel free to ask because googling will only confuse you...#as a term it's used in many weird ways. but i'm thinking about a general line of thought that evolves into slote's philosophy#look at me giving in and bringing philosophy into comics. sorry. i tried to simplify it as much as possible#i didn't even say anything on criminology and the label and the strain theories.#i'm so brave for not info-dumping#i said even though i just info-dumped#jay.zip#jay.txt#dc#fatal flaw#core texts#robin days
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iaminlovewithducks · 3 months
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It's important to realize that Charlotte wasn't a good person, however this doesn't make her a bad person, a villain or anything of the sort. Let me explain.
Throughout the show, Charlotte manipulates narratives so she can seem like the victim and everyone else is wrong. Examples:
When she told her group about her injury, she left out that there WAS a sign indicating that there was mold, she acted recklessly and got infected.
When Parker called her out on spending the money that was meant to go for her surgery on other things, she began saying how it was their fault when she specifically said she didn't want it.
It's implied by that same conversation that this is the reason most of their friends are distant with Charlotte, because it wasn't the first time she pulled a stunt like this.
She deflects the situation to make it look like she was never at fault, but it was other people who should have known what was going to happen and she was the victim.
Now, with this said, she does show signs of being a really nice person and fun to hung around. Her relationship with Circle, although not expanded in the show, did imply they got relatively close. Parker himself cares deeply about her, which begs the next question:
What happened to Charlotte? What changed?
Of course, one can only speculate. Bad parents, awful work environment, terrible friends who hurt her in the past... Whatever affected her clearly had a big impact on her.
First, she always seems to have a point to prove. Charlotte has developed this tough persona through the years and is important for her to keep it. She denies herself getting help from her friends and has a hard time saying what she feels (hence, bad temper as a form of protection).
Charlotte also shows signs of self sabotaging every attempt at getting better or living a healthy life. She likes high-risk sports and the mold is clearly killing her, yet refuses to get it treated and doesn't seem to care about it (again, back to protecting herself of showing vulnerability).
What we see in the show is a person who is struggling and clearly needing help, but denies it and hurts the people she cares for in the process without wanting it.
Once she comes back from The Waiting Room after Texty accidentally killed her, this event seemed to have finally clicked something within her. She finally opens up to Amelia, voices up her concerns and makes a genuine attempt at wanting to connect with others, the implication being she wants to get better after realizing what her future could be if she doesn't treat the mold and isolates herself.
Going back to my original argument, yes, Charlotte is not a good person, but she is aware of how her actions have negatively affected others and how this made her be perceived as a bad person. The Plane is a life changing experience for her and, if it wasn't for the open ending, she's probably ready to seek out the help she needs.
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panicbones · 4 months
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special place in hell for people who look at posts discussing how they specifically like women to make it about men. no i do not mean your male blorbo or gay men when i am speaking about evil women. oh my god
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novelconcepts · 11 months
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more and more it's feeling like we just...don't have room for people trying anymore. it's all or nothing; get it right the first time, or be crucified by a jury you can never fully see or convince. and this isn't new, isn't born of current events. it's become more and more prevalent over the last ten years thanks to social media putting every little thought on blast, but i'd put money on the idea that it's actually been brewing much longer than that. and, for me, it goes beyond being tiring or upsetting. it feels bleak. it feels downright fucking broken that we're all so busy trying not to condone anything remotely problematic that we don't leave room for good faith learning. watching people trying to suss out their own identity--something literally ONLY they can fully understand or explain--be vilified for trying to fit words around their own experience sucks. watching people misunderstand something and try to apologize for it later, only to be told they should have known all along, sucks. seeing people who once held truly toxic beliefs actually grow and learn and apologize and still be told to fuck themselves as if they're a lost cause--it sucks. just. does that not fill you with despair for the state of things? does that not break something in you, to think that if you one day don't understand something, or misuse a word, or grapple with complicated feelings, it will forever stain you in the eyes of perfect strangers?
dude the world is fucked, and we all see it, but like. it doesn't feel like it helps to be so goddamn reactive. it doesn't feel like it helps anyone to demand perfection out the gate. it's exhausting. there are enough people out there who don't want to learn, who aren't trying, who actively revel in cruelty. looking for malice in every little fuck-up from people who seem to be genuinely striving to live their lives with kindness strikes me as lending strength to an army that already glories in suffering. and makes the world look more fucked than ever. and i really don't know that that energy is what we need when there's already so much to set right.
maybe it's just me. maybe this last decade just shattered something in me. but i really, really hate the idea--reject the idea, frankly--that people can't learn and change and grow. that people can't be better than a bad day or a failure of understanding. i reject the idea that people are something to be thrown out because they fucked up. it just seems...yeah. bleak. really fuckin' bleak.
#personal#i dunno dude#this is that fighting energy from earlier. found some actual words for it i guess#but i'm just so tired#shit's fucked. some shit's complicated. and some isn't--some feels incredibly straightforward to me.#and to the next person maybe there's more nuance. it's all so fucking...there's so much to process all the time#and i catch myself in knee-jerk mode#i catch myself writing people off. making lists in my head. sometimes it's just purely a matter of safety#but god the things i'd give for some of those people to come back into my world#to learn. to grow. to apologize. to decide they value kindness and life over brainwashed beliefs#i would give so much for those friends back. those family members. those people i knee-jerk wrote off back in 2015#i shrunk my world down when i cut them out. i shrunk it down when i told them to fuck off instead of having a conversation#i actively made my safety net smaller in the effort to keep myself protected#and i just keep watching other people do similar things#and thinking like. if i could go back. if i wasn't so hot-headed and Certain that evil thoughts make a person evil#or that miseducation or ignorance or straight-up brainwashing broke a person for good#maybe it would all be different now than it was for my 25-year-old self#i just. i don't fucking know.#people are trying. people need to KEEP trying.#and telling them they're shit for NEEDING to try is only ever going to carve out the part of them that wants to be better#the world is fucked. why help fuck it even more. what is the point of that.#and i'm not saying don't call people on their shit. but maybe calling them shouldn't look like telling them to kill themselves#maybe it should involve a little grace#slamming doors just feels like it makes the house smaller. and shuts off exit routes you might need later#and i kinda wish i'd known that in my 20s
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meat-loving-meat · 4 months
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The LHM fandom is so funny bc everyone’s like I love LHM! Sorry about that. Vanyel is one of my favorite characters of all time! Except for these things he said and this part of his internal monologue. Valdemar changed my life! Half of the books in the series can choke though. I’m writing some LHM fanfiction! I’ve masterfully ignored all the parts of canon that make my crawl. I’ve been in the LHM fandom for half my life! Just to reiterate—I’m sorry for liking these books. Genuinely so sorry. No excuses for this one.
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