#strangerthingscrack

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Robin: So, now that you’re together. Do you wine and dine Eddie, the famous King Steve style?

Steve: More like whine and dine...

Eddie: HEY. 

Steve: ...which is when he gets high...

Eddie: THAT WAS ONE SINGLE TIME! 

Steve: ...and wakes me up at 2 AM to make him grilled cheese for the munchies. 

Robin: ...

Steve: And then asks me to get up again to cut off the crusts. 

Robin: ...

Steve: HALF AN HOUR LATER, EDDIE. IT TOOK YOU HALF AN HOUR TO NOTICE YOUR GRILLED CHEESE HAS CRUSTS. 

Eddie: I was admiring the labor of your love too much to notice.

Robin: Steve, I need to ask you something. 

Steve: Yes, Robin. I did get up and cut off the crusts. 

[strangerthingsandituniverse-blog]

Me waiting on Stranger Things season 3,but realizes that it comes out in 2019. Lolz

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Oh god, I made the mistake of reading the news today and apparently this happened in my city:

- a half-naked woman set a playground swing on fire and danced around it

- the police who intervened claimed it looked like a witch ritual

- but they think they intervened on time because there were no otherworldly creatures present

And I'm just thinking of a no-Upside Down AU Steddie moment when Steve, a fresh police officer, is called to something like that, the Party led by his boyfriend Eddie accidentally setting something on fire and chanting around it in cultist robes (probably replicating the Cult of Vecna adventure), so Steve arrives to resolve the situation and goes something like:

Steve: What did I tell you the last time?

The party: *incoherent mumbling*

Steve: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

The party: No demon worship without a fire extinguisher ready!

Steve: *turns to the owner of the burned trashcan* all in order now ma'am, sorry for the inconvenience.

Sometimes, the owners freak out because no way this is just a game and then Eddie has to improvise and pretend to banish the non-existent demon and Steve makes a huge show of it by yelling "NOW DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU HERE AGAIN YOU SCOUNDRELS, seriously, please just choose another neighborhood, Hopper's getting suspicious and this is the third demon summonning incident this month-!"

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Steve: *enters Eddie’s room* Oh wow. 

Eddie: Don’t you dare laugh. I have serious plans to tidy up. I swear. 

Steve: It’s not that bad. I...I can even see the floor. In some places. 

Eddie: Yes, progress. 

Steve: But at this point, you could toss in a grenade and it would make the place cleaner. 

Based on a chat I had with my boyfriend. He claims I’m the sassy and sarcastic one. Not sure about that, but I’m unfortunately Eddie in this scenario.