#such a fun topic for us habitual delulus

[seokjinsonlyone]

Ranking who I KNOW I can seduce in BTS least to most likely Context: I'm THICK big butt, big boobs yummy thighs straight smile and round face. That's what we're working with lets get into it! Least- Jimin! While I think Jimin would be very attracted to me I think I'd spend too much time psychoanalyzing him, definitely a turnoff! Jimin and I would more quicker become long term confidantes than ever romp around in the sheets. Cute face though, maybe an accidental makeout once or twice? J-Hope- Jhope is not a one night stand type of deal to me idk. I think I'd be too in awe to even try to seduce him and if he paid attention to me I'd probably be too focused on something more long term that I'd forget all about the seduction mission. Also I think he'd find me a little exhausting lmao SeokJin- Love of my life jin please I need him so bad and that would be my downfall. He would know by one look in my eye how BAD I want the dick and I think that would be a big turn off for him. I think he'd enjoy toying with me for months on end but would never give me what I want.

Yoongi- Yoongi and I have def made out a couple of times but the friendship is so good that fucking seems off the table. I think we'd have too many deep convos about our lives and what we want in life that sex would seem like something almost too intimate to share after all that mental intimacy if that makes sense?

JungKook- I think I could pull JK! He's sexy and all but I am too lmao! I also think seducing JK is much more about the chill approach. coming over and playing video games, buying him a stuffed animal that reminded you of him. texting him only on occasion. Just giving him space to trust me and like me and he'll be knocking on my door begging within mm a month?

Namjoon- All I gotta do is be 1/10th of a natutally charming person to namjoon, not be an ignoramus, and continue to have big boobs and an ass and namjoon is in the bag. Maybe we'd spend a few days getting to know each other but he doesn't seem like he'd waste much time once he trusts that you're not a fuckin weirdo Taehyung- Not to double down on the taehyung easy train but you're absolutely right compliments and some expressive faces and he's done for. And as someone who has seduced someone without speaking their native tongue it's really not gone take much. Taehyung likes loving and being loved and I'm readTEE to give it to him.

SEE NOW those are different parameters than i allowed myself to operate within like i was thinking more like i meet you at a bar and decide i want you who am i taking home tonight but what you're getting at is WAAAYYY different bc give me some time and i 100% can have my pick of the litter bc my personality is a 12/10

but before i dive back into that lemme first say that you may be onto something with seokjin bc like i said before we got the same personality type and i literally did that to like 2 guys this past year ajsksjjwje but in my defense!!!! im on the spectrum so it wasn’t on purpose i just didn’t realize they liked me until i had already hurt they feelings LOL

ALSO that makes perfect sense for yoongi being so mentally and emotionally intertwined that you end up in that friend purgatory bc you’re afraid to change the nature of your relationship it’s textbook really

NOW who could i seduce HOLISTICALLY from least to most likely since that's the trend i started with that one actually i'm gonna do who would be the easiest to seduce from ltm and i'm forcing myself to do a spark notes version to save you from another one of my dissertations that nobody asked for

i’m keeping jin at 7 bc like i said unseduceable (we’d end up a nice lil nuclear family with 2 kids and a dog)

i’m dropping yoongi down to 6 bc that’s my twin flame and i feel like if i gave him too much time to think he’d talk himself out of it

i’m keeping hobi at 5 bc we’re endgame like we’d def have a good mix of 2seok and sope energy im his lil rain cloud and he’d be my sunshine we’d make rainbows together <3 but i’d have to give him the space to come to this conclusion on his own

dropping jimin to 4 bc he’s another one who would try to talk himself out of it but he’d be super curious about the possibilities(we’re playing the long game)

joonie would drop down to number 3 but only bc

jk would be number 2 like give me a month and i’d have that boy eating out the palm of my hands like we fr fr have too much in common and don’t have similar sense of humour i got that whole tsundere thing going on im so certain he wouldn’t be able to resist me like he’d talk himself INTO it bc he thinks we’re written in the stars or something (we’re not) but i’d let him think we were (¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s hot)

then tae stands at number 1 for previously mentioned reasons