#suna hurt comfort

[wolffmaiden]

All Night

Suna Rintaro x Reader

Summary : You come home after a Girl’s night to rest up and watch a movie with your boyfriend but Suna has different plans.

wc : 2.8k words

warnings : smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact.

“I’m home,” you announced, as you shut the door of your apartment and kicked off your shoes.

“In the kitchen, baby.”

Dropping your purse and trench coat by the coffee table, you stroll towards the kitchen and find Suna turning off the tap and wiping his hands with the kitchen towel.

It’s been 3 years since you had the most ridiculous meet cute in front of that cafe and yet your heart doesn’t fail to skip a couple beats at the sight of him. It’s not your fault though, he had no business looking that fine in some random T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

Suna does a double take once he looks at you, throws the towel on the counter and lets out a wolf whistle as you step closer to him.

“Hello, there!” He gathers you in his arms, tucks a corner of his lips under his canine, and leers at you shamelessly.

Seems like the corset top and jeans you wore to dinner with your friends, really has his mind melting into a puddle. Especially the satin bow that sat snugly on your bust.

“Shut up,” you mumbled, punching his shoulder with your dainty hand, hoping he wasn’t seeing the way blood rushed to your face. “I sent you pictures all night.”

“Baby, those pictures did no justice to the real deal. Do you have any idea how your ass looks in those jeans? And don’t get me started on that top.”

He says in the most serious tone he could muster, squinting his eyes with some underlying mischief. Like he is waiting for you to ask the right question and walk right into it.

And you loved playing along, always. “How do they look, Rintaro?”

With a satisfied chuckle, he slides one of his giant hands from your waist down to the round of your ass, grabs a handful and gives a light squeeze. Once, twice. “Eatable. Very.”

“Okay,” you laugh, “Easy there,” pushing at his chest but to no avail. “We planned on watching a movie tonight, first.”

“Did we?”

He tries to close in on you but you cover his mouth with your hands before he could steal a kiss. “Yes, I’ll go shower and you select the movie, yeah?”

“No, I don’t remember being a part of such a plan,” he insists, pulling you impossibly close to him, and nuzzles his nose below your jaw and drags it down the column of your neck. “smell so good, baby.”

“Rinn-ie—,” your breath wavers and you clutch his shoulders, closing your eyes shut. “I should probably shower first, I’m —”

You are cut off with a small gasp as he lifts you off the ground and places you on the kitchen island counter.

With Suna’s hands on your either side, he leans in and takes an end of the satin bow between his teeth and pulls it apart, his eyes never once leaving yours.

The air thickens in the room as both your breath heaves and with two swift movements Suna unhooks the buttons of your top and chucks it in some corner of the kitchen.

“Now, would you look at that!” He all but groans as he lets his cold hands wander the expanse of your warm skin before he flicks at your perked-up nipple and then fondles the breast right after earning a soft cry from you.

“It,” a pleased sigh escapes your lips as he palms your other breast. “—had a…. built-in padded bra, Rinnie.’

You squeeze your eyes shut and bite into your lip to curb a moan as Suna hums in response and darts out his tongue and strokes at your aching nipple and finally sucks at it. Your nails dig into the back of his neck and his shoulders and your legs wrap around his waist bringing him closer than he already is as he continues his assault on your breasts.

He moves his mouth, leaving a trail of wet hot kisses and he makes his way up your jaw and pauses just above your anticipating lips. His eyes skim through your face, your eyes glazed, your cheeks flushed, and your lips soft and impatient for him. He revels in the state he already has you when he has barely touched you.

Suna combs the few stray strands of your hair back, tucks them behind your ear, grabs the back of your neck with his giant hand and tilts your chin up with his thumb.

“May I, baby?”

“Yes,” you whisper-cry, almost immediately. “Please.”

“Such an obedient pretty girl. What am I going to do with you?” He asks, his thumb stroking the side of your face, his eyes a mixture of adoration and desire. His heart is in such knots for you that he wants to rip it out and present it to you on a platter. And that still won’t describe what he feels for you.

He descends and takes your lips in his, in what started off as a tender, leisurely kiss filled with sweet caresses and soft sighs, only to turn fierce and demanding as his fingers tread through your hair to tug and angle you to his convenience.

You could only hold onto him for your dear life as his tongue pillages your mouth. His touch was all-consuming yet not enough. His hands were everywhere yet not enough. You couldn’t get enough of him, you run your hands all over his clothed chest, biceps, his hair, trying to bring him close. You claw at his bicep and he hisses a chuckle against your moaning lips when he pinches your nipple hard before palming that breast to soothe it. His hand slides down and fumbles with the button and zipper before he shoves it into your jeans.

“So wet, baby,” Suna smirks devilishly against your mouth once he finds the wet patch on your panties and kneads you through it, while you could only moan into his mouth, as he continues to rub his entire palm back and forth, with a riveting pressure to your clit.

Your hips buck against his hands, seeking more friction.

“Rin, more, please..”

How could he ever resist when you ask him so nicely?

He pecks your lips when you protest as he withdraws his hand from your jeans before he strips your jeans and panties off you, leaving you naked on the cold marble counter.

“Fuck, baby,” Suna groans, your hands fist around the front edge of counter as he spreads your legs apart and kneels by the counter. He massages your knees and runs his hands up and down your thighs, his molten gaze on the prize before he buries himself between your legs.

An astounding surge of pleasure blitzes through your senses and your head lolls back, your eyes shutter close in reflex as a loud moan escapes your lips when Suna drags his hot wet tongue from your entrance all the way to your clit in a deliberate drawn-out lick.

The pleasure is soon replaced by a bitter sting of his slap on your pussy bringing you back to your senses and and your eyes back to Suna’s.

“Eyes on me, please.” His tone wasn’t harsh, there was a small smile on his lips yet his dark gaze was a whole different story.

You know he hates it when you look away.

Struggling to maintain the intense eye contact, you swallow. “Sorry, Rinnie.”

His gaze softens as he rubs your mound to soothe the slap.

“I shouldn’t have to say it another time, baby.” he places a kiss on your inner thigh.

You give him a small nod, to which he only raises an eyebrow in question.

“Okay, Rinnie,” you swallowed before you spoke again. “Now can you please …..”

“Can I please what, baby?” He asks, wrapping his hands around your thighs and tugging you to his face.

“Please make me come, Rinnie!”

That was all he needed to hear before dives back in and practically makes out with your pussy, his skilled tongue working its way, drawing out sultry and louder moans from your lips, with each lick. He knew you like the back of his hand, he knew exactly what he needed to do to push you to the brink.

Bracing a hand on the counter, you catapult the other hand into his hair. Your back arches when his nose rubs against your nub as his tongue prods your entrance. You can barely hear your loud moans over your need to come as you tug at his roots and grind against him. His hands slide from the back of your thighs to grab the handfull of your ass, as he fucks you with his tongue feverously. This man was not eating you out for your pleasure. No, he was doing it for his own pleasure, he moans at the way you taste, his mind is only filled with thoughts of you and his need to make you come, come on his mouth, on his cock, he wants every inch of you all to himself. He wants to take everything you can give and even more.

He could tell you were close, with the way your walls convulsed around his tongue. The sound you make when he brings his thumb to press on your clit firmly before his strokes at it sends him into a state of frenzy. And with a jerk, your legs tense up and wrap around his neck, suffocating him as you come all over his mouth with a loud, prolonged moan.

Suna continues to eat you out as you ride your high. You are a mere mess of moans.

When he pulls away from you, he is mesmerised by your glistening pussy, your entrance spasming over nothing and your legs still shaking on his shoulder. He couldn’t even bother wiping his chin that dripped with your essence.

Without another thought, Suna slips two fingers inside you, making you jolt.

You were so wet that his long fingers easily slipped all the way in, making you tremble incessantly all over.

“Rinnie!”

Only then does Suna look up, his daze clearing up as he takes your state in. He knows you are sensitive all over but he just couldn’t help himself. Your chest heaving heavily, your face a mixture of pleasure and lust. The way you look down at him from the countertop, in all your naked glory, has his hard dick twitching in his pants. He has been that way ever since he saw you walk into the kitchen.

“One more baby,” he coos. “One more before I fuck you with my cock.” He says drawing his fingers out and thrusting three fingers in this time.

You scream, if it wasn’t for Rin’s grip on your hip, you think you’d have fallen off the counter. Your knuckles turn pale due to your grip on the counter. Suna could see your thighs quivering in his peripheral view, your eyes squeezed shut before you took a deep breath and opened your eyes again, only to take Suna’s breath away.

His hand leaves your hip and he brings it down to palm himself through his sweatpants, he can feel his wetness leaking.

“Fuck baby, grab your boobs and knead them for me.”

Your immediate obedience amidst your moans is the hottest thing he thinks, as he palms his rock hard dick careful not to overdo it while he pumps his fingers in and out of you.

“Fuck, baby.”

It’s almost painful for him to restrain himself so much. He feels like he would die if he doesn’t get to plunge himself into your soft folds and fuck you until you’re nothing but a mess of babbles and drool. But then, he thinks this pain is worth it, it’s worth the view he is seeing right now.

“Pinch your nipple for me baby, and tug at them hard.”

“Ah— Rinnie!” You whine and thrash your hips against his fingers, feeling the familiar knot forming in your belly.

“C’mon baby, make yourself come on my fingers, use them all you want.”

You hardly register him standing up until you feel his lips find purchase on your clavicle before he suckles at it mercilessly while his fingers curl inside you hitting your soft spot, making your hips still before all you see is white and all you hear are your own sounds and Suna’s fingers in and out of you.

“Atta girl! Atta fucking girl!” He rasps over your ear before placing a sweet kiss on your temple, holding you close as you ride out another high, though you could feel him poke your belly. He wanted to ensure you were fine first.

You slump onto his chest breathing hard, gaining your senses before you look up at him and pin him with your nastiest glare while he only looks at you with a loving smile and eyes full of adoration.

He’s so mean, you think.

“What is it, baby?” He frowns, combing stray hair away from your face.

Before he can ask any further questions, you grab his neck and pull him in a punishing kiss.

He is so mean. Here you are, as naked as the night, half out of your mind post the two orgasms he coerced out of you and Suna here has the audacity to stand in front of you fully clothed.

You bite into his lower lip harshly, causing him to wince, “hey, baby— ”

This time you don’t give him the opportunity to speak, your lips make their way down his throat, suckling, biting before you huff, pulling away. You grab the hem of his T-shirt and yank it off it. Or at least try to, before he chuckles and lends you a hand.

Tried of clawing at his clothed chest and abs, you just wanted that damn T-shirt off him. And once it was off, you were all over him, kissing him, touching him, wherever your hands took you, before you gladly sneaked your hands in his sweatpants and shot him a look when you directly came into contact with his hard and thick cock.

Of course, Suna Rintaro was strutting around the house sans underwear underneath those damn sweatpants.

Your thumb caresses the slick head of his cock, before you run your hand up and down his generous length, earning a strangled moan from him.

“Easy there, baby,” he nips at your earlobe. “Take me out.”

And you do, pushing the pants down, as much as you could from your position.

“Arch your back for me, baby,” he says, rubbing his tip over your swollen slit, smearing himself all over you before he lines himself against your entrance.

Your hands grab onto the other end of the counter almost instantaneously. Clearly not the first escapade in the kitchen for you both.

“Good fucking girl,” he rasps grabbing your hip in a tight grip before he slams in, and bottoms out inside of you, stretching you out entirely. The two of you moan together, your folds kept sucking him in as he forces you to feel his every inch and every vein.

“Rintaro!” Your back arches even more, your eyes roll back and your legs wrap around him, leaving no space between the two of you.

“I know baby, I know.” His voice is soft as he runs his hands soothingly at your sides, peppers kisses down your temple and pecks your lips a few times.

He gives you a moment before he takes a nipple in his mouth and suckles at it as he starts moving his hips and fucks you hard and deep, just like you like it before he starts picking up his pace. The only sound that accompanied your moans were the way his cock slammed in and out of you and the sound of his balls slapping against your ass as you both chased your high.

Suna knew you were close, your walls were squeezing him dry, and he was right there with you.

One more deep thrust and your body shudders, a breathless gasp escapes your lips before your hands wrap around his neck and you come all over his cock. He fucks you a couple more times before he lets go, he bites down on your shoulder, hoping to ease down his guttural moan as his thick ropes of cum fills your insides.

You don’t know how long the two of you stayed like that in the kitchen, your body still shaking in the aftermath of three mind-blowing orgasms.

Suna lifts his head off your shoulder, fixes your hair, and lays a sweet kiss on your forehead before his hands go under your thighs and he lifts you off the counter, with him still inside of you.

“Rinnie?” You yelp in surprise, you were too sensitive, your voice sounded foreign to your own self.

Initially, you thought he was taking you to the washroom to shower and clean up, but he takes a turn to your room making you frown.

“Rinnie, shower?”

His jaw flexed as he spoke. “We can shower baby, we have all night for that,” he says as he lays you on the bed.

Taglist: @pudumaipen @tsukiran

© Content belongs to wolffmaiden on Tumblr. Do not plagiarise.

[k4g3hika]

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

[rishiguro]

you don’t think that you have ever felt as much relief as you did when you finally stepped inside your home.

with a loud thud your bag fell to the floor, right before you somehow managed to stumble into your bedroom, falling face-first into the mattress. the weight of the day finally truly sank into your bones, making your entire body ache. all you wanted to do was close your eyes and fall asleep, forgetting the day even happened.

all had been too much today.

you barely managed to get yourself out of bed in the morning after a terrible night of (or lack of) sleep and you still don’t really know how you made it to your place of work, much less made it through the day in the first place. everything was loud and bright, you were running on caffeine only and everything seemed to go wrong today. your performance was questionable at best and you couldn’t help but overthink each one of your steps.

and if that wasn’t bad enough already, the whole day you were jittery until after a few hours you noticed just how much you were shaking and how fast your heart was actually racing.

and then all you wanted to do was cry.

SUNA meanwhile had absolutely no idea what was going on when he entered your home with the key you gave him a few months ago, mindlessly taking his shoes off and messily throwing them away.

he called out for you when he noticed your bag laying right by the door. when he didn’t hear you call back to him, he furrowed his eyebrows, making his way into various rooms of your place, trying to find you. he grew slightly worried when he didn’t see you in your kitchen, living room or in the hall, but a part of him figured you might be purposely hiding from him, trying to scare him.

with a smirk on his face he decided to play along, carrying himself with light footsteps over to your bedroom door and carefully watching for a sign that you might be waiting somewhere to jump out.

when he reached your door, his hand slowly moved to the handle, pressing it down gently. taking a peek inside, he leaned forward.

you hadn’t noticed the door opening a few centimeters, much less the head peeking through it, with your head still lying flat on your bed, pillows practically pressed against your eyes to avoid sound coming through as much as possible.

suna would find it endearing if he didn’t grow so worried seeing you like this.

pressing his lips into a thin line, he decided to carefully step inside, practically sneaking towards you.

“baby?” you jerked up startled, looking around with wide, slightly puffy eyes, before you actually noticed him sitting next to you.

“fuck,” you groaned, “don’t scare me like that” you let your head fall back into the mattress.

he chuckled as you scooted over and ultimately laid down next to you. “sorry” he opened his arms and you immediately cuddled into him, resting your head on his chest. “what happened?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.

you however only shook your head, hiding your face in the fabric of his sweatshirt. “don’t want to talk about it?” you shook your head again.

so in response, he only tightened his hold on you, bending his neck in an uncomfortable way to press a kiss on your temple. “that’s okay. we can talk later”

the two of you continued to lie there in silence, simply finding comfort in each other’s presence and warmth. you listened to his calm heartbeat with closed eyes and enjoyed how suna’s hand slid up and down your back.

“it’s alright. i got you,” he muttered softly, “i’m not letting you go”

you still felt bad. but laying in his arms, you felt a little better.

[hihello-pinky]

Sight (5)

Suna Rintarou X F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintaro had to learn this the hard way.

Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and in no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WARNINGS: nothing, just fluff, and OH, did not go through proofreading lols

Word Count: 1.6k

Surprise quick update! I know I said in the last part that things are about to get downhill starting from this chapter. However, I really enjoyed writing this one that I had to cut out the angst portion. So... this is also quite a short read. Happy reading, though!

Kindly reblog, like, and/or leave a comment if you loved this chapter and let me know what you think! xoxo

part one part two part three part four

kofi ~~

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚ - - - ˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

“I’m very happy, Y/N,” Dr. Hirai says in front of you as she examines the papers. “These results look good. You haven’t been stressed much lately?”

You beam at the woman. “I guess so. My headaches have rarely occurred as well.”

”Great.” She smiles as she picks up her pen and starts to write. “I’m going to prescribe you some vitamins and supplements. But remember, rest and sleep is top priority, okay?”

You respond with a nod, akin to a child receiving instructions from their parent on the first day of school.

As you wait for Dr. Hirai to finish writing the prescription, a knock comes on the door. After the doctor’s “Come in”, your husband’s head peeks inside.

”Hi, Doc.” He greets before looking at you. “Hey. Something came up at the company and I have to go there. Would you want to wait for me at the cafe across the street?”

Other times you would have felt disappointed about his need to leave, but the mere fact that he’s informing you - through a cute peek at the door nonetheless - makes your heart flutter instead.

“Okay, sure.”

Rin shoots you a smile that almost melts your heart. “Great. I’ll keep you posted.”

And just like that, the door closes again. You turn to Dr. Hirai to see her looking at you. “Anything’s the matter, Doc?”

The woman just smiles before handing you the prescription. “Oh, nothing, Y/N. Nothing.”

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

You watch the busy street through the window, your hand tapping a pen against your journal. You’re not one to miss writing daily but these past several weeks, you have been too preoccupied to jot down your thoughts.

Then, there’s also the matter of an irrational fear.

Truth be told, you’ve been happy since that night Rintarou admitted his attraction to you; the night he asked you to give him a chance and for you two to get to know each other.

You’d love to pen down those memories but there’s a voice at the back of your head telling you that it’s a bad idea. That it’s a prelude to something terrible happening.

You place your pen on the table and flip through the older entries on your journal, only to remember the entries you are looking for are no longer in the notebook’s binder. You had them removed and placed in a box the day before you asked Rin for divorce, thinking that it's time to give up on trying to make things work for both of you.

But then, things have changed now.

Or have they really changed? That voice in your head asks in skepticism.

What if, just like before, this “peace” is a fluke? What if Rin ends up hurting you again?

You close your eyes tightly and rub at your temples. You shouldn’t be entertaining this kind of thoughts. Overthinking and worrying about things from five years ago…

”Hey, Y/N? Is that you?” A familiar voice brings you out of your thoughts and you open your eyes only to be met by a friendly smile.

”Oh,” you say in pleasant surprise, “Hi, Hajime. What an unexpected meeting.”

The older guy's smile widens as he gestures for the seat across you. You nod in reply, closing your journal and putting it at the side.

”What brings you here?”

”I had a check-up with my doctor at the hospital across the street. How about you?”

At your question, Hajime scratches his nape. You notice his ears redden and you try not to smile at how boyishly embarrassed he looks. “Um, I’m visiting someone.”

”A friend?”

He locks eyes with you and groans at the teasing look that you know is visible on your face. “Okay, okay. She’s not technically a friend. I… met her one night through an accident, my motorcycle bumped into her. Thankfully, her injuries are not serious.”

”Oh my god,” you cover your mouth in reflex. You compose yourself before continuing, “I’m assuming she’s okay, though?”

Hajime waves his hand in front of you. “No worries! She’s fine and getting better. In fact, she’s about to get discharged tomorrow.” He suddenly clicks his tongue. “Am I bad to feel sad about her being discharged? I won’t have a reason to see her anymore.”

This time, you’re not able to stop yourself from laughing. “Hajime, that’s silly! Why won’t you just ask her out? Or her family and friends, maybe? You probably have met some of them, right?”

He smiles sheepishly and it’s a contrast to his usual demeanor when in the playground with his son. “I’m nervous to ask. Also, her family’s not here. She very recently moved back to the country from living abroad several years before. She also mentioned she has yet to reconnect with any of her old friends.”

”Oh, I see. But isn’t that reason enough to ask her out, if you’re really interested in her?”

”I guess so…”

Seeing the flush on your friend’s face makes you smile. “Who would have thought you’d get yourself in a classic meet-cute scenario?”

”Ugh, Y/N, please stop teasing me.” You know he means to reprimand, but Hajime still joins you in your laughter.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

“Fuck.” Suna resists the urge to throw his phone after the screen died on him. The battery had been on the verge of dying and he couldn’t find his charger anywhere. So, he’s on the way to the cafe, hoping that you didn’t decide to go somewhere else.

As he approaches the entrance, it amazes him how he’s quick to spot you in a crowd now. He sees the baby pink dress you’re wearing, your cardigan looking soft and comfortable over it. He also notes that you had tied your hair into a bun, a few strands framing your face.

And then he notices you’re not alone. To his dismay, he recognizes the person you’re currently with. Before he knows it, Suna is already brisk-walking the short distance from the entrance to your table.

You notice his presence as you look up at him and smile. That very sweet and innocent smile instantly calms him down a notch. He takes a deep breath. “Hey. I wasn’t able to send you a message, my phone died on me.”

”That’s okay.” Then, gesturing to your companion, you ask, “Rin, you remember Hajime?”

Suna tries to sound as nonchalant as possible as he faces the man. “Yeah. What brings you here?”

Hajime gives him what he assumes to be a friendly smile and Suna reminds himself that there’s no acceptable reason why he should give in to the urge to punch the smile out of the man’s face. “I was gonna visit someone at the hospital.”

Before Suna can respond, the man quickly checks his watch as if suddenly remembering and curses under his breath. “Oh, shoot. Uh, I should go.” He gives a wave before going over to the counter to make his purchase.

Suna shakes his head, a small scoff leaving his mouth. “Rin,” you call his attention. “Let’s go?” He watches you zip your bag close and before you can put the strap on your shoulder, he swiftly grabs to carry it for you.

If he didn’t turn his back as soon as he does so, he wouldn’t have missed your blush and smile.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

Once you reach Rintarou’s car, he asks if you have your phone charger with you. As you say yes, he asks again if you would plug it in the car’s charging port as he maneuvers the car out of parking.

You do as he asks and, as you place his phone on the console, notice some things that spark your concern.

”Rin?”

”Yeah?” He responds, eyes ahead.

”I know we both have sweet tooth, but didn’t we agree not to give Risa and Ryuu too much candy?”

”Huh?”

”Lollipops and gums,” you answer, finally tearing your eyes away from the items that had caught your attention. You turn to Rin and watch as the confusion leaves his face.

To your surprise, he only chuckles in response. “Those aren’t for the kids, Y/N. They’re mine.”

Now, it’s your turn to feel lost. “Huh?”

Rintarou bites his lips. “I’m trying to quit smoking. I heard those are nice alternatives.”

”Oh.” You’re at a loss of words for a moment, remembering the many times you have told him in the past that smoking is bad for the health. As you struggle to find what to say, Rin continues.

”It’s gonna take a while though. To be honest, this isn’t the first time I’m trying and it’s really hard.” A small laugh. “I’ve been smoking even before I was legally allowed to. But god, I do hope I can finally quit this time.” He shoots you a quick smile. “I don’t want my wife to leave me because of nicotine problems.”

And just like that, whatever response you’ve been able to come up with in your mind gets forgotten, chased away by the butterflies in your stomach.

Rintarou has been doing this a lot lately: calling you his wife.

Of course he had done so in the past, but they were all said in mockery, with the intent to spite and hurt you. It’s the very opposite now. He knows he makes you flustered and you know he enjoys seeing you blush.

You turn your head to look out the window, hoping he can’t see your very red face. Behind you, he laughs a little. It does not help in calming the beating of your heart. “What’s the matter, Y/N?”

”Shut up, Rin!"

to be continued.

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[haezen]

how he apologizes 

suna, makki

haikyuu!!  genre: hurt/comfort

a/n: they’re so silly and i’m in love with them (heheehehahaha) if you guys like this, show it some love.  (i love seeing you guys reblog with # ! i read them and they make my day!)  maybe i’ll do sakusa and atsumu next :>

dedicated to my lovely best friend @nami66m !

HOW SAKUSA APOLOGIZES

masterlist

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SUNA

Rintarou is unbearably stubborn. 

He says things that he doesn’t mean and his words are venomous. When the two of you got into a fight over something that didn’t even really matter, you are shocked when he spits your biggest insecurity back in your face. He will never forget the pained expression that washed over your features and almost instantly, he regretted ever saying it in the first place. 

You held your head up high, trying to ignore the lump forming in your throat and the tears threatening to spill, before heading out of your shared home. He could tell that you were heartbroken to hear something you told him in confidence thrown back in your face. He knew that he fucked up, but yet he stood there unmoving like a statue, too afraid to move a muscle or utter a word. As he watched you storm out, he told himself that he never wants to see you leave out that door, running away from him again.

He stood in that same spot for a while, frozen. Why did he say those things? What were you even fighting about in the first place? How can he fix this?

He doesn’t know what to do. Before, all he did was run from his problems and avoid people he wronged like the plague. He’d ignored their texts and calls. He’d act like he wasn’t home when they’d knock on his door, begging for an explanation on why he went ghost. He’d even act like he didn’t know them when seeing them in public. 

Rintarou doesn’t know how to admit he’s wrong because he believes that if he admits it, then you’ll find somebody better. You deserve somebody who wouldn’t hurt you in the first place: someone who acknowledges their faults and overcomes them with humility. And he has never done that — he doesn’t know how to. 

So as he sits on the couch with his head in his hands and unbecoming tears streaming down his face, he decides that he needs to drive to the only person he can trust to ask for advice: Osamu.

You finally come home at midnight. Your cheeks and nose are red and he instantly realizes you’ve been walking out in the cold. 

But when you open the door, you’re greeted by the warmth of the fireplace, candles lit everywhere you look, and Rintarou standing right in the kitchen like he’d been waiting there for hours. He offers you an uneasy smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. He smiles like he’s unsure of what to say or what your reaction will be. 

Deep down, he wants to run and hide like he usually would. He’s afraid that you will leave him first because you’ve seen how ugly he can be.

He gestures to the kitchen island, and you see he’s made you your favorite food. It’s not perfect and the display looks awful, but the hopeful look in his eyes is begging for your acceptance and validation. You know he’s never done anything like this before. 

The gesture makes you want to cry all over again, but you’re hesitant to forgive him so easily. When he’s met with silence, he continues.

“I made it all myself.” He explains, “But...I had to ask Osamu for help because I didn’t know where to start.” He admits, voice a little lower than before.

You step into the kitchen to take it all in  — the kitchen is a mess, the sink full of dishes and it looks like he spilled something all over the stove. But you know he’s trying, in his own stupid way, to make it up to you.

He approaches you carefully, scared that you’ll storm out again. To his surprise, you await his embrace. He wraps his arms around you while you hesitantly wrap yours around him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers for the first time, “I didn’t mean what I said.” 

You think he might be crying.

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

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MAKKI

He hates to think that he could’ve done something wrong in the first place. 

Because it was only a joke.

You had invited your family over for dinner. While all of you are having a good time and getting along for once, Makki decides to make a joke in an attempt to make your family like him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the time or the place for this particular joke —   it’s inappropriate and borderline offensive, especially to you.  You, most out of everyone, are appalled and shocked that he’d even bring something like that up. It makes everyone stiff and the aura is suddenly uncomfortable; the air is stuffy and no one knows what to say in response. You excused yourself from the table, dragging Makki outside to the balcony by his ear. He groaned in complaint and once you left the table, everyone shared knowing looks. By the time the both of you returned inside, everyone had already finished their food and was ready to leave, eager to leave the tense atmosphere. You were beyond embarrassed and disappointed that the night had gone awry.

You pointedly ignored him for the rest of the night because you decided that you were too upset to fight. You cleaned up by yourself despite Makki’s protests to let him help you. You shouldered him off and he didn’t know what to do. He was starting to get frustrated, but he knew not to say anything in retort. 

Unfortunately, like most men, Makki has his pride. But, he realizes that he would much rather admit he’d done something to upset you rather than sit, brood, and refuse to apologize. Of course, since it is Makki, he has to put a fun and exciting twist to it.

He’ll usually give you your space for a few hours, acting like he is oblivious to the silent treatment you always give him when you’re upset. He looks past all the harsh glares you throw his way and he ignores the scoffs you make when he walks past you in your shared apartment. He even gives you a flippant, ‘bye!’ when you leave to get some fresh air because the tension is so thick that the both of you feel like you’re going to suffocate.

While you’re gone, he scrambles to get things ready as he prepares to build a blanket fort for the both of you. It might be childish, but the two of you have never been afraid to indulge in ‘kiddie’ activities. And he knows how much you love to watch movies together. He even makes the quickest trip to the convenience store in his life – rushing to get you your favorite snacks and drink. 

He barely makes it home before you return. He's putting the final touches when he hears you unlocking the door.

 As he whips around, you walk in and your eyes go wide.

“What’s this?” You question, eyeing his guilty expression. 

“I’m sorry.”  Is all he says.

You scoff for probably the hundredth time today. As you unlace your shoes and shrug your coat off your shoulders, you hear him messing around with the television. Your heart is racing as you try to decide if you’re still upset at him. 

“Do you know how uncomfortable you made everyone? You’re so–” 

“I shouldn’t have made such a stupid joke.”

“You think?” 

You fail to realize that your boyfriend has closed the distance between you two. He sweeps you off your feet, strong arms picking you up to hold you bridal style. 

“Hey!” You scream.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs with a soft smile, before he playfully throws you inside the fort, your back hitting an array of pillows. You squeal in response and he is quick to follow you inside. You look around and he’s put a lot of effort in – he even used the bar stools so that you’d have more room. He sits beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulls you to his side. 

“Please forgive me.” He whispers into your ear, kissing all over your face and neck as you protest. 

“‘Hiro!” You laugh, trying to fight him off but it’s fruitless. You enjoy his proximity and even, you recognize the fact that he’s doing his best to cheer you up.

You can’t help the giggle that bubbles up from your throat as he restlessly starts attacking you with his affection.

 Then, you forget why you were even mad in the first place.

[sexyandcringe]

[04:25 PM]

Your boyfriend got you a bouquet.

Today is not Valentines day, nor is it your birthday. Why did he get you a bouquet then?

You're confused, you ask him what's the special occasion. "Just because." he replies.

"What do you mean "just because"?"

"Because i love you, so giving you stuff and seeing you happy makes me happy."

You stare at him, a little shocked, mouth slightly open as you rethink of your ex who, in the three years of dating, got you exactly 2 plastic roses only for every Valentines day (he didn't get them in your last year of dating because that night he was out drinking with his friends while you were crying in your miserable home).

"I'm- i, thank you so much, my love." you hug him tight as you feel your eyes watering. "Really, you have no idea how much this means for me."

Finding your boyfriend in this generation was a miracle for you, since you didn't really expect anyone to like you other than your ex, but you were so wrong. Your boyfriend told you his heart skipped a beat the day he met you and sometimes it still does because he can't comprehend how someone as gorgeous as you came into his life and made it hundred times better.

"I love you." you say. You mean it with your whole soul.

"I love you more." he says, and your inner child, the child who grew up without love - or with a fake love - who was never enough, starts to feel safe.

Reblogs are really appreciated!

[suashii]

I THOUGHT OF A NEW ONE

Hurt comfort with suna 😌 - 🦚

as u wish!! thanks for the suggestion and i hope this hits the spot :3 writing warmups if u wanna request!

cat-like eyes peer over the top of the phone in suna’s hands when his ears pick up the click of your key turning the front door’s lock. you’re getting back later than usual and he plans on asking what kept you but the question dies on his tongue the moment you walk through the door.

even from his place on the couch, he can tell you’re crying.

you’re trying to hide it, head tipped down to avoid his gaze, but suna is observant. you almost always jump at the opportunity to tell him about your day—whether that be complaining about someone who was grating on your nerves or updating him on the unfolding drama between your coworkers. to be met with silence is strange, uncomfortable.

he takes in your hurried actions, how you’re fumbling to get your shoes off as quick as possible and the way you’re subtly trying to dab away the tears at the corner of your eyes with your sleeve.

though, for all of his perceptiveness, he has absolutely no idea what to do in a situation like this.

it’s the only reason why he doesn’t say a word and lets you scurry off to your bedroom like he never saw you walk in to begin with. the slam of your door makes him jump and even though he’s sure you didn’t do it because of him, he feels guilty anyways.

he’s never seen you cry before, to be hurt to the point of tears. even if he hadn’t been so caught off guard, suna is the type to turn away at the sight of someone crying, not jump to comfort them. he’s not sure he actually knows how to. do you prefer space—time to process your emotions on your own? or would you rather have him lend you an ear so that you can share your frustrations with him? is there anything he can say to make you feel better?

all he knows for sure is that hearing your muffled cries and sniffles through the thin walls makes him hurt, too.

down the hallway and on the other side of your closed door, you’ve set your bag in the chair at your desk and changed into something more comfortable, all while letting warm tears stream down your cheeks. the only thing you want right now is tuck yourself under your blankets and hide away from the world—suna included.

you hoped he hadn’t seen you but you could feel his gaze glued on you from the second you walked through the door. you’re almost glad he chose not to say anything. it saved you the embarrassment of having to face him in such a sorry state.

the tears have slowed by the time you’ve burrowed into your blankets. the comfort of sinking into your mattress and the exhaustion that comes with crying has calmed you down a bit. your eyelids are heavy and even though you haven’t bothered to look in the mirror since you got home, you’re willing to bet money that your eyes are puffy and red.

with each passing second, drifting off to sleep seems like the best way to get over this unfavorable day. though, before you’re able to turn off your lamp and close your eyes, there’s a sequence of knocks on your door.

a beat of silence passes between his knocks and his voice. “can i come in?”

you chew on the inside of your cheek. you’re not particularly thrilled at the thought of suna seeing you like this but you are curious. for as long as you’ve known him, you never pegged him as the type to offer you a shoulder to cry on. “sure.”

your doorknob turns and suna stands on the other side. there’s a bag of jelly sticks in his hand and his snorlax plush is tucked under the opposite arm. your eyes flick up from the goodies to his gaze.

“want some chuupets?”

you’re grateful he doesn’t comment on your appearance or bombard you with questions about what’s wrong. and you’re grateful for his offer. a little sugar might help lift your spirits.

you nod and hold out your hand, suna digging in the bag as he approaches your bed. he sets a few of the sticks in your open palm. it’s more than you need but you keep quiet because you know he’s being generous—asking if you’re okay without really asking.

you accept the jellies, scooting over to make room for him on your mattress. he silently joins you in bed, opening up at chuupet of his own. “oh, this is for you.”

he sets his snorlax plush between the two of you. it’s the one you’re always trying to take with you whenever you’re finished hanging out in his room, the one he never lets you leave with.

“you’re giving me snorlax?” you take the pokemon and set it in your lap, wrapping your arm around it.

“well, for tonight. or as long as you’re sad, i guess.”

to your surprise and his, you laugh—a genuine one that comes from your chest and fills the air of your room. the shock written on suna’s face is quickly traded for a smile. he wasn’t sure what to expect with his hastily put together plan to cheer you up but this definitely has to be one of the more positive outcomes.

you swallow your snack and sigh. it’s content rather than exasperated. “you’re never gonna let me have it, huh?”

“no, probably not.”

“fine,” you hug the plush tighter, “i’ll treasure it for tonight then.”

you stare up at your ceiling for a moment before turning to suna. he meets your eye and you offer him a soft smile. “thanks.”

[admiringlove]

part one.

[19:12] . . .

suna thinks he's lost his mind. or maybe, you've taken all his senses with you when you left that night. maybe he's slowly going crazy—sort of like the main character of that one show you love to watch. the schizophrenic lady slowly losing her senses but not understanding what's going on.

perhaps calling himself crazy would be an overstatement. but you had him confused and dazed, nonetheless.

he thinks he's done something wrong. but he doesn't know what it is. why else would you leave in the middle of the fucking night after the things you two had done together? he's sitting in the living room, one hand in his hair and phone in the other. he's texting osamu, telling him about your amorous endeavors from that night. it had been roughly two weeks since then. and if he was correct(and not borderline insane), you hated his guts.

he wasn't sure why, though. had he not performed well? when the two of you had done "it", did he not please you? what was the issue here? you didn't sound like you hated it, in fact, you sounded quite the opposite throughout.

his phone rings. it's osamu.

"hey-"

"you did what with [y/n]?!" suna has to move the phone away from his ears for that one. his eyebrows knot as he puts the call on speaker, not understanding why osamu of all people is having such an outburst. it's usually atsumu who's the annoying one with no sense of rationality.

"we um," rintarō's face flushes red. he even hides his face with his palms, even though his grey-haired best friend can't see him, "we had sex."

"oh my fuckin' god," the younger miya twin throws more profanities on the phone, but rintarō chooses to tune them out. but then osamu continues, "do ya even know what ya've done? are ya stupid? do ya have no common-fucking-sense? sunarin, for fuck's sake, how can ya be less emotionally intelligent than a fuckin' celery?"

"stop swearing at me, you jackass!" the middle-blocker picks up his phone, almost yelling into it. he then narrows his eyes, lips pursed as he asks, "what exactly did i do wrong?"

"ya do fuckin' realize," suna assumes what osamu's doing is taking a bite out of an apple between his sentences, "ya had a girlfriend a month ago. a pretty fuckin' serious one, at that."

"oh," suna's train of thought stops. oh, shit. fuck, fuck, fuck. what the hell had he done? oh my god.

"yeah, 'oh'. what the bloody hell were ya thinking?" osamu swears again. but this time, rintarō thinks he might've deserved it. all of it. you ignoring him, osamu swearing at him, that nagging feeling at the back of his throat. and that pang in his chest when you left with your things at four o'clock in the fucking morning.

"ya do realize, [y/n] prolly feels more like shit than you do. they haven't spoken to me or 'tsumu after that night. i thought they dropped off the face of the earth until akaashi-san said they were havin' some kinda crisis so they were busy. turns out [y/n] hasn't been showin' up for lectures either," osamu drones on for a few minutes. then it strikes suna. he hadn't even bothered to give you an explanation about why he broke up with his girlfriend.

or actually, she broke up with him. because of you. his mind wavers at the memories of that night where she called him to the local diner to tell him off. she even told everyone it was a mutual break-up and that it didn't work out. he was just glad she fell out of love with him before he accidentally broke her heart. she had every right to do what she did. he was a total, complete twat who didn't know what he was doing. he had hurt so many people, because in actuality, he was just as emotionally stupid as atsumu.

to be honest, even atsumu isn't this stupid. suna has to give that guy some credit.

"what do you even feel about [y/n], sunarin? do ya like them? or didja use them 'cause you were bored 'n wanted ta get yer dick wet?" the accusation makes the middle-blocker wince.

"jesus christ, give me some credit, dude. of course i like them. you know, i never told any of you this, but michi broke up with me because of [y/n]."

"wait, hold on, what? what the fuck?"

"yeah, um," suna hates admitting that he's wrong. gosh, he has to, though. he's done enough. he doesn't want to hurt you any longer, "apparently, i was in love with [y/n] all along and didn't know it."

"oh my god," osamu literally gives up. rintarō can hear his friend facepalm through the phone, "yer such a screwed up person, man. didja even bother telling them this?"

"about that-"

"ya didn't tell 'em. wow. what else could i expect from someone with the emotional range of a fuckin' goldfish? just cut the damn call, already. i got shit to do. and go tell [y/n] all of this or i'll break yer legs the next time i see ya." beep, beep, beep.

he actually ended the call himself. huh, suna thinks to himself. but then he tosses his phone into the pocket of his sweats, pulls on a hoodie, and leaves his apartment.

he's not coming back without making it up to you. no fucking way. all the while that he's driving to your place, he curses at himself for being such a complete and utter dunce. and when he finally stands outside your door, his hands are sweaty and shaking. he's never even been this nervous for a match.

he knocks thrice. dum, dum, dum. then twice, dum, dum. then once, dum.

this was how you guys had communicated in high school. when something went terribly wrong and you needed each other's company. three, two, one. slowly. this was how he'd knocked on the door of the broom closet after school when you were inside having a panic attack. it was how you'd knocked on his bedroom door after they'd lost the match to karasuno in second year.

"go away, rin," you croaked from the inside, "i don't wanna see you."

"'course you don't. i'm an asshole," he says, "but i know where the spare key is and i'll trespass on you if you don't open this door right now."

the door opens a mere second later. you stand there in an oversized tee and shorts, hair a complete mess and eyes glassy. your under-eyes had swollen up too. this was all... because of him?

"the fuck do you want now? more sex?" you ask crudely. he almost scoffs, but he's clearly in the wrong here. you were his best friend. you had the right to abuse him like this because he'd used you. hell, you should be saying more than things like this.

"i'm sorry," he tries to hold your hand, but you move away from him. he feels his heart crack and his throat close up, but he continues, "do you know why michi and i broke up?"

"oh god, " you scoff, "if this is why you're here. please leave."

"listen to me," he holds your shoulders. you visibly look agitated and angry. you have every right to, of course. but you have to hear this. he has to say this. he goes on, "michi left me. i didn't leave her but she left me. don't you want to know why?"

"let me guess, she got fed up with your piece-of-shit attitude?" you walk away, to the kitchen as you turn on the coffee-maker. he chases after you, grabbing you by your shoulders again. you almost push him off.

"because i love you, goddamnit!" he shakes you lightly, "do you understand? she wasn't you. she understood that from the very beginning! that's she why left me."

"oh," you blink slowly, drinking it in, "oh."

"'oh'? that's all you have to say?"

"oh please, rintarō," you roll your eyes, "i've been in love with you since freshman year of high-school and you didn't fucking notice. you are genuinely the most stupid person i have ever met. you know, atsumu knew from the very beginning. he's an idiot, sure, but he's actually really smart when he wants to. osamu knows too- why are you looking at me like i'm a terrorist or something?"

oh. what the heck?

"you were in love with me for five years and didn't even bother saying anything? even the fucking twins know? you do realize, this whole thing could've been avoided if you had just told me you liked me before i said okay to that date with michi a few months ago."

"hey, you don't get to come here and tell me i've done something wrong when you realized you were in love with me because michi, of all people, told you. you didn't have the balls to do that part on your own? instead, you come and sleep with me-"

"i thought that made it very clear that i liked you, come on-"

"absolutely not."

"not even a little bit?"

"no."

"oh come on," he nudges as you pour yourself coffee, "maybe a little?"

you smile. he mentally lets out a huge sigh.

"fuck you, yeah, maybe a little," you mutter. he wants to punch the air and kick it and jump around as if he's five-years-old again. because what the hell? he bickered with you and that's all it took to make you smile. holy shit, he thinks.

"go on a date with me," he slides his arms around your waist in the kitchen. you chuckle, holding back a laugh, "no."

"come on, please?" he whines into your ear, placing a chaste kiss on your shoulder, "just five minutes of your time next weekend. i promise it'll be worth it."

"five minutes?" you look back, an eyebrow raised, "you sure? i'll put a timer on my phone and everything."

"shut up," he tells you. then, you grin, "make me."

notes: then they kiss, kiss, fell in love.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[aftersamu]

you pull back, wide eyes, hand ghosting over your lips. staring at your best friend in shock, "i– um, rintarou." stuttering over your words, draping your jacket over your arm.

"i'm sorry," suna says, noticing the panic spreading on your features. "just forget that happened–,"

jumping up from the slide, pushing past the brunette, "i need to go." suna's hand, reaching out for you, his hand wrapping around your wrist.

"please," desperation visible in his voice.

"i said i have to go," you repeat, tone cold. watching his face fall at the moment his heart shatters. spinning on your heel, walking away – jacket clutched as you leave the playground, turning the corner on the street.

suna, your best friend, standing in the dark, stranded by the slide where you left him after he kissed you. if only he knew that you'd pull away.

two weeks, two whole weeks of avoiding suna. ghosting him, hiding your face in public, walking into lectures late and rushing out the building before he could get a chance to approach you, even ignoring him and responding dryly whenever you'd run into him in public.

you knew you were risking everything by going on full defence and practically crushing his heart, and dignity in your hands.

laying in bed, looking at the array of missed calls and notification that litter your phone. pressing play on the recent voicemail that suna had sent, hearing the sadness and pain that tainted his voice.

listening to it makes you want to cry, your overreactions and anxiety that clouded your mind caused him to hurt. suna was giving in, accepting that this must be the end of the relationship.

no, you're not ready. this is not what you want, this has never been what you want.

swallowing down the lump in your throat, wiping your eyes before tears can spill, you put aside your fears to send him a text.

sliding off the bed, grabbing a jacket and slipping on your shoes, you head out. making sure to stop by at you and suna's favourite cafe, hand wrapped around the cold plastic cup filled with his favourite drink – heading to the playground, where you wait on the swings.

looking out the horizon, the sun minutes away from disappearing, the sky, beautiful. a gradient of colours, and the clouds slowly moving, the light perfectly reflecting on them.

eyes meeting the familiar figure that walks towards you – a sense of relief flooding him when he sees you rush up from the swings, walking towards him.

holding out the drink as a peace offering, "i'm sorry." you say, "i'm sorry that i hurt you."

suna, places the cup on the bench next to him, he pulls you into a hug, hand on the back of your head as he holds you close. that was the final breaking point for you, letting out a chocked sob.

"i don't want to lose you." mumbling into his hoodie, gripping onto the fabric tight, "it's all me, just– just, please don't go." at this point, tears are uncontrollable – and despite it all, suna laughs.

tilting your chin up, a shit-eating grin on his lips, "so... does this mean we're good?" he says, "are we friends again?"

"we were never not friends, rin." you retort, sniffling as you wipe away your tears, "but... we're good." a small trace of a smile threatening its way, "just wait another month or two before you try to kiss me again, okay?"

"what? did i run out of diamonds or something? i can't kiss you until i get more?"

"did you just make an episode joke?" you question, hands flat on his chest, "god, you're such a dork." poking fun at him and pulling out of his grip, "maybe i shouldn't have texted you."

"i liked you better when you were crying," suna tells, flicking your forehead. reaching down to grab the drink you'd got him, "two months did you say?"

lazily draping an arm over your shoulders, "mark it in your calendar."

[aboutkiyoomi]

bed peace

synopsis: after a very hurtful breakup, osamu takes his time to help you heal and takes the time to call suna out on his bs. at graduation, osamu offers up a deal that you almost can’t pass up.

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff 

pairings: osamu x g!n reader (mentions of past suna x g!n reader)

pre a/n: not proofread so don’t eat me up but this is a second part to my angst suna x reader oneshot, linked right here 📍

a/n: it’s kinda funny how this was requested since i only wrote that because it was my personal situation that i turned into a oneshot to feel better. you guys r so cute haha (thank you to @multi-fandom-fanfic for the req and reblog!)

‘ after the breakup, you were notably upset. everyone in a 5 mile radius could tell you were heartbroken.

‘ suna avoided you like the plague the entire duration of exam week. he couldn’t bear the guilt of seeing you.

‘osamu ignored suna for a couple days for how he treated you, claiming that he needed to “think about how much of a dickhead he was being”

‘ osamu made sure to lift your spirits as much as he could, it was so sweet.

“why does y/n look so sad all the time? i thought you guys were on good terms?” atsumu asked as he sat down between suna and osamu during graduation rehearsal.

“nah. we’re done, like for good.” suna mumbled, not even bothering to look up as he continued to scroll on his phone.

“what happened?” atsumu asked, his eyebrows raising at suna’s nonchalant demeanor. it was unusual to see suna ever talk about you with such lackluster eyes.

“dumbass over here was all cuddled up with some girl during the third year picnic.” osamu answered before suna could get the chance, glaring at him slightly.

“wha- you guys were on a break then, no? sunarin, wtf?” atsumu spoke, his face curling up in a displeased way.

“i wasn’t even doing anything. like you said, it was a break. they took it personally i guess because they thought we were getting back together.” suna started with a harsh sigh, eyes refusing to look up because he knew osamu and probably atsumu were now glaring daggers at him.

atsumu and osamu considered you a really good friend. when suna introduced you to them, you guys immediately bonded. the twins treated you as a sweet little sibling and always made sure to threaten suna for hurting you.

“you are such a dickhead. i hope you know that.” osamu scoffed, his irritation for the whole situation was strong. 

after the picnic, osamu made sure to text you after seeing you walk off with tears staining your face. he wanted to give you space but wanted to make sure that you were alright because he cared for you a lot more than he led on. after a couple of days of sulking, osamu pulled you aside after your chemistry exam and asked you what was wrong. you explained everything and he immediately began comforting you. he went straight to suna and asked about the sitaution, wanting to hear both sides of the story. after hearing suna’s, samu immediately chewed him out. 

“it was a break, samu. i didn’t even do anything with ayako. i don’t know why you keep bitching about it.” suna spit, his phone finally shut off and his head shot up in irritation.

“maybe because you literally broke, y/n? you led them on for weeks, ever since our last volleyball game. texting them and saying that you loved them. who wouldn’t think you wanna get back together after that? they were so hopeful, just to see you all cuddled up and giggly with some girl. you’re such a dick, you don’t even feel bad. you could at least apologize, have some fuckin’ decency.” osamu’s voice raised slightly, his hands shaking as he moves toward suna.

“that wasn’t my fucking intention, they should’ve never took it to heart. if you care about y/n so damn much, why not go fucking date them. how much longer are you gonna chew me out? i know what i did was fucking stupid, i’ve tried apologizing but they blocked me on everything. what else do you want me to do?” suna yells, passerbys begin to look over at them. atsumu finally steps in and tells both samu and suna to keep it down because you were sitting not far across the room with a group of your friends.

“maybe, apologize in person and i’ll stop chewing you out. if you just act like you actually loved them and maybe, just maybe, sunarin, you would never be in this situation.” osamu spit before standing up and stalking off to go sit by himself, closer to y/n.

suna looks over to atsumu and begins to open up his mouth but atsumu cuts him off with a quick dissapointed head shake before speaking, “no, you fucked up. ya gotta fix it, sunarin.” and walks off to join his brother, leaving suna in his silence.

****

graduation rehearsal ended and you spent most of the free time sitting with your friends and the twins, laughing about silly school memories. it had been 2 weeks since the break up and although you were busy, you were still really upset. even after it all, osamu stayed by your side and tried to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.

as you said goodbye to your friends, preparing to walk home you heard someone call your name. you turned around to see suna, standing there. your eyes widened and you spun on your heels, ready to walk away.

“wait, y/n. please, i just want to explain.” suna spoke, his eyes pleading as he walked closer to you.

“what.” you spoke, not bothering to look up, passing off an irritated voice.

“um..i just wanted to explain. i’m sorry if i lead you on, i never really intended on getting back toget-” suna started, his fingers fumbling with the edges of his shirt.

“i’m gonna stop you there. if that was the case, you could’ve said something. the reason for that break was for you to be honest about what you wanted. so don’t try and say that you “didnt mean too,” you spoke and suna retaliated in an embarrassed silence.

“i’m sorry..you didn’t deserve that and you should know that nothing was ever going on with me and that girl, from the third year picnic. i really wish you the best, i’m sorry...again.” suna said, making sure to finally look up at your state. your eyes lacked their normal shine and your face wasn’t as radiant as it used to be, the guilt and regret was hitting him like a bus.

“not saying we’re gonna be cool after this but i appreciate it. have a good life too, suna.” you finished before walking off in the opposite direction, leaving suna to his thoughts again. it seems that it was now suna’s time to be heartbroken.

*****

graduation day

“i can’t believe it, we’re finally graduates. it’s so cool that we’ll be going to the same college.” you said to osamu as you guys waited for atsumu to finish crying over his high school days being over and saying goodbye to nearly the entire population of third years.

“yea, seems like you’re the only one excited.” samu says, somber smile gracing his features.

“tsumu still pissed at you?” you asked, patting his shoulder sweetly.

“yup, only talked with me when our ma’ wanted pictures. he’ll get over it, he’s excited to see me open up a restaurant, he just won’t admit it.” osamu spoke with a sigh as he leaned his weight on you. both of you chatting before osamu noticed suna glancing over at you with sad eyes.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? after ya know, suna almost ruined the end of your third year.” osamu asked gently, pushing you back slightly so he can look you in your eyes.

“it sucks but he apologized and honestly, i’m over it. it was what it was. i’m ready to move on.” you said, confidently as you smiled happily at osamu who’s face lit up with warmth.

“oh and y/n, you deserve real love and someone who’s willing to give it to you.” osamu said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“maybe i’ll find them in college.” you replied.

“or maybe, it could be me.” osamu said, smile growing larger as he watched your eyes widen slightly in shock.

“i like you a lot y/n....you don’t have to answer now. there’s a lot of time for us to become....us.” samu said before pulling you in for a quick hug, allowing you to relax at how comforting osamu had always been.

[ellouisa17]

Can someone help me find a story

It was a haikyuu social media story where reader is kurros sister and they’re in college/uni readers Ex was iwa and she falls in love with Kenma but iwa says things to him to stop him from falling in love with her and Kenma in a band with iwa or something

It had loads of chapters I can’t remember the exact number I read it a few months ago but I forgot to be added to the tag list and now I’ve lost the story and I’ve tried to find it but I can’t so if any of you could help I’d really appreciate it I also don’t know if I followed the creator I’ll have a look through my following now but please someone help me

[rishiguro]

DESOLATION - S. RINTAROU

a/n: i’m projecting and got carried away

warnings: self-deprecating thoughts, self-loathing and slight allusions to passive suicidal ideation (just to be safe, i don’t know if that’s actually the case). 2.3k of hurt/comfort (though i feel like it’s mostly hurt)

slamming the door shut behind you, you let out a sigh, leaning your body against the wood. you closed your eyes, fists clenching on your sides.

nothing felt right anymore. the weeks passed by in an instant and yet every day seemed to be endless and monotonous. you woke up, did your work, came home and repeated that cycle the next day and the day after that.

you forgot how it was to wake up excited for the day and content with the path you were taking. how long has it been? now it was just a drag, a weight on your shoulders that kept pressing you down.

you couldn’t tell when or even how this started. everything was fine after all, wasn’t it? there was no trigger that caused all of this, no, and yet it would feel wrong to say that there was no reason in particular.

you just knew that you wanted it to be over.

taking your shoes off with a low hanging head, you sat down on the floor, trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself down.

it was okay, wasn’t it? you were finally home, you could recharge and just shut yourself off from the world. just let go of everything for a couple of hours before you would be thrown back into real life.

all you needed was a break.

“baby?” suna’s voice came from the living room, faint as it reached your ears. “you alright?”

you could hear his footsteps as he came closer to the hall, quickly jumping to your feet before he managed to poke his head out of the doorway.

you felt your chest getting warm as a smile plastered itself on your partner’s face as soon as he saw you.

you affirmed as you turned your back to him, slowly taking off your jacket and putting it away. you barely even paid attention to the questions he was asking you, simply answering them with only two to three words before diverting the attention back to him and asking him about his day.

suna didn’t have to be a genius to notice that something was off. you hadn’t seen how his smile was immediately wiped from his face as soon as you turned around after seeing him, shifting into a confused frown. he saw how you not just hung your jacket, but also opted to sort the hallway closet, acting like you were actually interested in the order of everything inside of it in a pathetic attempt to get him to go away.

but he wasn’t having any of it.

you didn’t notice how suna went quiet, studying your form and taking notice of your sluggish state.

he wasn’t an idiot. he had noticed how you got quieter with every passing day, losing more and more energy until you barely did anything outside of going to work. and he hated how you put on a smile whenever you thought he was looking, only to have it wiped away as soon as you turned around. and when he did approach you, you only shrugged him off, pinning your state on a stressful day at work or a bad night’s sleep.

“what’s wrong?” he finally asked, arms crossed and leaning against the doorframe.

“long day,” you only claimed “i’m gonna go wash up” immediately after you practically ran away, locking the bathroom door behind you and releasing your breath.

you thoughts raced as you washed your hands under the cold water. was it really fair to act this way? you practically dismissed your boyfriend, not even paying attention to anything he was saying just because you didn’t feel your best. and this wasn’t just a one time thing either, no, it happened countless times already, to the point of you not even remembering the last time you had an actual conversation with him that lasted longer than five minutes.

you were really terrible, huh?

you didn’t want to think like this, you knew that this spiral would just sent you down further with no way to escape. you could talk, communicate, somehow get your feelings across, apologize for being such a horrible partner, just anything. you just needed to get your mouth to open.

running the freezing water on your wrists to calm yourself you stared down at your bare skin.

you had to get out there and talk. you had to reach out. suna wasn’t going to turn you away or laugh at you, he’d be there for you just like he always was. he would probably scold you if he knew about the doubts you were having. scratch that, he most likely already knew, having spend so much time by your side, but decided to give you your space until you were ready to come to him, knowing how you could get when people pressured you.

he was so considerate. and you just stomped on that and tore him down.

you stood there for who knows how long, your wrists have gone numb from the water, when you finally decided to turn off the sink, drying your hands and wrists.

meanwhile suna sat on the couch in the living room, his leg bouncing as he stared on his phone, mind drifting back to you. you were so absent, so tired that it started to hurt him. you suffered on your own, shutting everyone out. maybe you didn’t even have the energy to reach out to him and here he sat, perfectly aware of your state of mind with no idea how to help or just make it a little bit easier on you.

his head shot up as he heard the door to the bathroom open, gaze softening as he saw you stepping out of it, feet dragging over the floor as you approached him.

the middle blocker didn’t take his eyes off of you for a second when you came to a halt in front of him, playing with your fingers in front of you.

you took a deep breath as you began to speak, head still hanging low, not wanting to look into his face. “please hug me,” you mumbled, already feeling how your throat closed in, “i really need a hug right now”

he didn’t even waste a second to get up and step closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and pushing you into his body. “always”

and so you stood there, suna holding you secure in his arms, the both of you having your eyes closed and taking in each other’s warmth.

“i’m sorry,” you finally broke, fist clenching the fabric of your boyfriend’s hand, “i’m being such a shitty partner right now and you don’t deserve this”

“it’s okay,” he replied, hands moving from the middle of your back to your waist, drawing small shapes.

you shook your head, still not daring to look at him. “no, it’s not,” you denied, “i have no reason to just waltz in here every day with my shitty mood and ruin your day because of whatever the hell is going on, that’s not fair. and to make it even worse, i’m not even talking to you about it, it’s just like i’m punishing you for something that isn’t even your fault” you rambled, only coming to a stop to take a breath. opening your eyes, you opted to stare at the fabric draped over his chest, face contorted into a pained expression. “i don’t even know what i’m doing anymore,” you whispered through your tight throat, feeling the first tears welling up in your eyes so you immediately shut them, not wanting to feel them pour over your cheeks.

“hey, take a deep breath, alright? we’re okay, i promise” suna was quick to reassure you, hands squeezing the sides of your waist in an attempt to comfort you. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t shocked. he never imagined you to feel so guilty for it, beating yourself up over the fact that you weren’t doing good mentally not for yourself but on his behalf. mentally he scoffed, cursing himself out for not realizing sooner just how long he let this drag along. but he knew that all he should do right now is be there for you and ease your mind, not potentially making everything worse for you. “and don’t you worry about ‘ruining my day’ or something like this, because you’re not, i don’t know who told you this”

he softly petted your head, mumbling some short phrases of affirmation with your arms still tight around him.

“i want to be better, i will be, i promise” your voice was all choked up, your eyes watering behind your eyelids. “i’m sorry i’m not good yet, i’m sorry”

“shhh” the young man shushed you, pressing you closer to him and softly swaying your bodies back and forth. “you’re good, you’re a good person”

you shook your head violently and even though your mind screamed at you to let him go and push him away, you only grabbed him tighter. “i’m not, i’m terrible, i’m horrible and nothing i do is changing that”

“that’s not true,” suna spoke softly, carefully, almost like you were about to run away. he didn’t force you to look at him, looking to the side himself as he spoke, but occasionally glancing at you, only to find you still staring at his shirt concentrated. “you’ve grown so much already and you’re such a good and kind person,” he claimed, a fond smile on his lips. you could hear that he truly believed what he said and while you didn’t exactly want to take his words to heart, you allowed yourself to succumb to them, heart warming at the thought of him genuinely thinking that you weren’t this horrible person you saw yourself as. “i know you can’t believe me, i know, but i promise it’s true”

after a few moments of silence he slightly pulled away to look at you again, one hand traveling to face, a thumb brushing over your wet cheek. “you trust me, right?” you nodded against him. your heart was beating rapidly, to the point of you being afraid that he could hear it.

your boyfriend smiled again, tilting your head upward. “good. then trust me with this too, okay?”

if he was shocked to see the tears running on your cheek quietly, he didn’t let you notice, instead wiping them away carefully.

“okay,” you whispered, “i’ll do my best”

suna smiled softly, kissing your forehead. “i know you will and you’ll do great”

“do you want to talk?” he asked after a couple minutes of you sobbing into him, but not before he couldn’t feel your body calming down in his arms.

you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, ashamed to face him with what you were about to say. you didn’t want to look at him, you didn’t want to see whatever expression he might have on his face. pity? sadness? or even anger?

“i don’t want to be strong anymore,” you finally confessed.

strong. suna always knew you were strong — a strong person, able to hold so much pain inside of them and not cracking underneath it all. willing to burden yourself with so much, all to see the people you cared for happy, content. strong and carrying so much weight on your shoulders and yet you never wanted to give any of it away, opting to just swallow it down and keep going.

until you couldn’t anymore.

“don’t be” and while others saying this may sound almost condescending, thinking that this was the simplest thing in the world, he somehow made these two words sound so understanding, letting you believe that maybe it was alright for you to want it. “it’s okay”

“i can’t anymore,” you continued, eyes clenched shut as more and more tears found their way out of your eyes, staining not just your cheeks, but also your lover’s shirt.

“i know”

“what can i do?” you asked him, fully knowing that he didn’t have an answer to this question. you felt bad for asking this, bad for dumping all of these thoughts on him, but you knew that he wouldn’t hold this against you. suna wasn’t a particularly complicated or deceiving person — quite the opposite. he was here with you because he cared. and he was willing to deal with whatever it was that was weighing you down. “i don’t want to feel like this”

you continued to sob into him, a warm hand finding it’s way onto your back and drawing circles on it to get you to breathe. “i don’t want to do this anymore”

“i don’t know what to do,” you continued helplessly, mind racing as you poured your entire heart out, “i just want to let go”

and suna pulled you close to him again, whispering softly. “i got you”

“i’m scared,” you admitted, “i’m so scared, rin”

scared of your feelings, scared of change and yet scared of everything remaining the same. scared of not doing well and scared of failing and at the same time scared of losing everything and everyone that was dear to you because you wouldn’t change.

“i know. i’m here,” he didn’t waste a second to reassure you again, desperate to help you understand that no matter what, he loved you and wanted to do everything for you. “i’m here, i promise”

“please help me” suna’s heart broke as you whimpered in his arms, so terrified and vulnerable, exposing just how lost you felt. “make this go away please”

“i got you” he felt his throat drying after he pressed yet another long kiss on your forehead, desperate to convey his deep feelings for you that he just couldn’t voice out loud. “i promise”

“you’re not alone”

reblog to get cuddles from suna

[rk-tmblr]

“I have saved pictures of you in my phone gallery and it feels so weird. I can't swallow the lump in my throat every time I think to delete them, but at the same time I can't shake the guilt that weights me down every day I still keep them.”

-Suna Rintaro/Miya Osamu

[hihello-pinky]

Sight (4)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintarou had to learn this the hard way.

WARNINGS: descriptive smut, foul language, implied multiple rounds of sex

WC: 2.7k

Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and in no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

Here's part 4! As usual, thank you for waiting for the update. This is quite a short chapter and you can treat it as an extended calm before the storm.

Spoiler alert for the next part: that's where all hell breaks loose HAHA (okay, maybe an exaggeration).

Kindly reblog and/or leave a comment if you liked this short update!

part one part two part three

kofi ~

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ‼️

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

If someone told you a few months ago that one morning you’d wake up to the sight of your husband watching you intently while you slept, you would have laughed at their face and dismissed them.

But alas, here you are, slowly blinking the sleep away from your eyes as you make out Rintarou’s face. You half expect him to turn away and pretend he wasn’t watching you but to your surprise, he only raises an eyebrow at you. “Morning”.

You try to sit up but immediately groan as your body protests in pain. Rintarou chuckles a little as he offers help. “Too sore?”

“And whose fault is that?” You retort as you let him help you while at the same time trying to hide your blushing face, knowing that you’re miserably failing.

Rin hums before replying with a smirk. “I definitely wasn’t the one who sugggested for more…”

Your eyes widen before you playfully swat his hands away. He laughs again, the sound foreign to your ears not but unwelcome. You silently hope you’ll be able to hear it a lot more often soon. “Rintarou!”

The two of you are interrupted by the sound of incessant knocking on your bedroom door. It prompts you to look at the clock. “Oh my god, it’s late!”

Rintarou tilts his head to the side. “It’s Saturday though?”

Before you can answer, the sound of your kids’ concerned voices rings through the door. “Mom? Dad? Where are you… We’re scared.”

You hear a muffled groan from your husband as he pulls away from you and you hastily get yourself prepared.

~~~

Suna watches as you cook pancakes for breakfast. He can hear the kids playing in the living room, the sound of the cartoons they had insisted to “watch” playing in the background.

“Is it not tiring?”

You send him a curious glance before returning your attention to the pan. “Cooking?”

“All the house work,” he clarifies as he moves from the kitchen island to join you near the stove. “You never tried to ask if we could hire a new helper when Jiri left.”

He feels you tense a bit once he’s standing close to you. “I like doing all the work.”

“Still, a little help would have been nice, right?”

He’s surprised when you turn to him, an outstretched hand holding a spatula. With a smile, you tell him, “Not from a stranger.

Suna reluctantly takes the tool from you and you laugh a liittle. “You don’t know how to cook?” He feels sheepish as he nods. You purse your lips. “Okay. Maybe you can help with other chores.”

As you try to take the spatula back from him, Suna softly grasps your hand. The action surprises even him.

“What?” He tries to conceal a smirk as he notices the faint blush beginning to color your face.

“I’d like it if we spend a few hours every week where you teach me the ways around the kitchen.”

“I’m not really good at cooking. Why don’t you ask Osamu instead?”

Suna gives you a rather mischievous smile as he maneuvers your hands so that the spatula is placed on the counter. Your fingers are intertwined, his wedding ring digging into yours “I’m not married to Osamu, why would I want to spend time in the kitchen with him?”

~~~

“Grandpa, Grandma, Mommy and Dad almost burned the kitchen!” You watch as Risa. runs towards her grandmother’s open arms while Ryuu runs to his grandfather.

Rintarou’s mother sends you a curious look and before you can respond, he goes to her and kisses her on the cheek. “We just got pre-occupied.”

The statement makes Rintarou’s mother let out an excited squeal as she beams at you. “Are we going to expect some good news soon?”

You instantly blush, realizing what she was implying. “T-That’s not…"

“Honey,” Your father-in-law says as your husband hands him the kids’ bags. “Don’t embarrass them like that.”

The statement reminds you that over the past years, the two of you have somehow managed to convince Suna’s parents that after the forced marriage, you were able to actually work out together as a couple. Though you wonder how stories of Rin’s numerous affairs manage to evade them.

You go and give goodbye hugs to your children. “You two behave, okay?”

Ryuu nods and smiles at you, his smile very similar to his father’s. “Yes, Mommy. Risa is the one who doesn’t behave.”

Your daughter’s protests die down as you plant a kiss on the top of her head. “Shh, Risa. Don’t listen to your brother’s teasing.”

Rintarou laughs a little as he ruffles the kids’ hairs one after the other. “Don’t give your grandma and grandpa headaches, okay?”

“Okay, Dad!"

As soon as Rin’s parents and the kids drive off, you’re left alone with him. “I should probably go do laundry…”

“Do you need help?” He asks as he shuts the front door.

“Not really…”

“But…?"

A small smile finds its way to your lips. “But if you want to help, I’m not gonna stop you.”

~~~

When you let Rintarou help you in doing the laundry, you weren’t expecting that it wouldn’t be the only thing he’d be… doing. You can barely recall the things leading to your current predicament: you seated on top of the washing machine as Rin slowly thrusts into you.

“Shit,” he curses against your ear hotly. “This feels so good.”

Your grip on his bicep tightens at the pleasure coursing through your body. “Rin, I’m almost there.”

At your words, his movements speed up. His heavy pants not helping you hold back your release. You tighten around him and just as you reach your orgasm, Rin thrusts harder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum.”

Groans and heavy breathing reverberate in the laundry room as you’re both trying to recover from your orgasms.

He’s the one who catches his breath first. “I’m gonna pull out, okay?”

Too exhausted to come up with a reply, you only nod your head. However, the drag of his cock as he pulls out makes you whine in sensitivity and you reach out to his arm to try to slow him down.

“Fuck, sorry.” You close your eyes as you feel your mixed liquids beginning to slip out. Neither of you try to wipe them.

Rin breaks the silence before it can fully take place. “I have a question.”

“Hmm?”

“How come you never got pregnant despite the times I fucked you in the last four years?”

Despite your current position, his question still makes you blush. You only mutter one word. “Contraceptives.”

He’s quiet for a while. “I see.”

~~~

For the rest of the day, Rintarou helped you in doing the house chores. But for every time you finish one task, you somehow find yourself doing some sort of… intimate act with him.

“Listen, I’m happy to hear that you’re both spending more time together,” Sacha says over the phone. “But it’s concerning me that all you do is have sex. Do you two even talk?”

You’re currently propped against your bed while Rin is in the shower. You look at the door to the bathroom before turning back to your phone screen, where Sacha is currently doing her night skincare routine. “We do talk… just about regular stuff.”

Even through Facetime, you can hear the deep sigh from your friend. “That’s not good. At all.”

You know it as well but truth be told, you’re scared to initiate deep or serious talks with your husband, the last time being when you asked him for divorce. “I’m aware but I don’t know how to bring it up. What if he decides to block me out again?”

Sacha gently taps the moisturizing cream on her cheek for better absorption. “Then this resolve of him trying to make your marriage work is a big fucking joke. Make sure to call him out.”

It’s your turn to let out a deep sigh. “Okay. I’ll try to find the perfect time to bring it up.”

In the background, you hear the shower turning off. “I’ll be hanging up now, ‘Cha. Talk to you again soon.”

“Sure, dear. And see you soon?”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

Sacha waves through the screen and makes a kissy face. “Bye! Love you!” You smile at your friend as you faintly hear the sound of the bathroom door opening.

“Love you too, bye!”

As the call ends, you feel Rintarou looking at you. You meet his gaze. “What is it?”

He blinks, as if only now realizing that he was staring. “Nothing,” he replies as he makes his way across the room to retrieve clothes.

Just like the night before, you try your hardest not to watch him, ignoring the way droplets of water slide from the tips of his hair down to his nape.

You try to break the silence that was starting to take over the room. “How was today? Doing chores with me?”

You can tell your question surprises him and you can’t even blame him. In your attempt to make small talk, that was the first thing that popped into your mind.

Suna pulls a gray tank top over his head as he wears sweats. He walks over to you after he drapes his towel against the chair by the vanity. “Fun, I guess.”

He stops at the edge of the bed, still standing, and cocks his head to the side as if daring you to ask him more questions. You decide to take the challenge. “Which parts were fun?”

Rintarou’s answer is immediate. “Spending time with you.”

In response, you can already feel the blood rushing to your cheeks, especially since the next question is already leaving your mouth. “You mean the part where we have sex?”

You half expect him to laugh, his lips curving into his signature smirk. Instead, he looks into your eyes seriously. “No. I meant the part where you were telling me what you usually do and showing me how I can help. I liked watching the way your brows furrow in concentration and the way your lips pout when you’re trying to think of how to explain stuff to me.”

He retains the eye contact as he finishes talking. When you don’t respond, he finally moves again and joins you on the bed. “Y/N.”

Your breath hitches as Suna comes closer. “Y-Yes?”

“We need to talk.”

You nod slowly, still processing what’s currently happening.

Rin shakes his head. “That’s not talking.”

You clear your throat. “Okay.” A long inhale. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Us.” His hand moves to hold yours but at the last second, he pulls back, putting it at his side instead. “I meant it when I told you weeks ago that I want to make our marriage work. But it’s not just about us not fighting anymore and being on good terms. It’s not just about me stopping with my cruel treatment of you from before.

“Do you know what the hardest part was for me for the past years? Fighting my attraction to you. What I’m trying to say is, I actually want a relationship with you, not just have marriage as merely a label.”

You open your mouth to speak but he puts a finger against it. “Let me finish, please?” The pleading look in his eyes, partnered with the gentleness with which he put his finger against your lips, urges you to nod in agreement.

“I know I was a horrible person to you. I took advantage of you when you were drunk because I was young and stupid and rebellious. Actually, I think I’m still stupid because when we were forced to get married, I threw away the chance of making it up to you and still treated you harshly. Instead of apologizing, I resented you because I thought you were taking away from me my freedom.

“And that’s fucked up because I was the one who took everything away from you. So, really. I don’t think I can ever apologize enough for everything I put you through. In fact, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But if you ever decide to forgive me and give me a chance to make it up to you, I would cherish it.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N, and I’m not just pertaining to your physical appearance. You have a beautiful heart and soul, you’re a beautiful person who does not deserve everything that happened to you because of me. I’m sorry, I don’t think I will ever stop apologizing to you. But still, I want to have another real chance with you.

“I’ve been denying my attraction to you for years and I’m now tired of running away. I want to know you more, Y/N. And in return, I want you to know me as well. Will you give us a chance?”

Surely, he must be able to hear the loud thumping of your heart. You’re at a loss of words. This is the most he has ever spoken to you.

Suna looks at you gently. “You don’t have to answer right away.”

You know that, but still, you reach for his hand on the bed. “When I was younger and read stories of people giving second chances, I always got frustrated. Why would they risk getting hurt by the same person again? I told myself I would never make the same decisions as them.”

He adjusts your hands so that he can rub his thumb against your palm. His eyes do the talking for him. “Go on.”

“Yet, look at me. Weeks ago, I agreed to give our marriage a chance. And just now… I want to tell you that I feel the same about wanting to start over again. I want us to get to know each other more.

“I don’t know what’s next to come, if we’ll even have a happy ending. But I want to take the risk with you, Rin.”

Your eyes meet his and the sincerity in them almost makes you tear up. You remain with locked eyes until finally, he says, “I’m glad. Thank you, Y/N.”

What he does next makes your heart pound against your chest. He leans forward, his breath warm against your face as he squeezes your still intertwined hands. You feel your cheeks heat up as his lips touch your forehead.

Rintarou leans back and gives you a soft smile. “Let’s go to sleep?”

Still flustered from his sudden forehead kiss, you can only respond with a nod.

~~~

Suna has always been an early riser. As a student, the habit paid off a lot as it allowed him to have ample time for academics and volleyball. As a young adult, it was useful when it came to escaping from awkward morning-after conversations with his one night stands.

Now, he’s beginning to discover another appreciation for his body clock. Similar to the day before, waking up before you gives him time to observe your features.

You look peaceful when asleep.

Now that the denial of his attraction to you is thrown out the window, it seems to Suna that he can’t get enough of you. Your soft, steady breathing and the serene look on your face tugs at his heart.

The feeling of wanting to protect you from anything that can potentially hurt you almost makes him scoff at himself. After all, he was the one that hurt you in the past few years.

If he wants to protect you from pain, he really should just distance himself from you. But Suna knows that he’s a selfish person. So, he’ll take another route instead: change and improve himself. Be someone who won’t hurt you; someone worthy to stay at your side.

It’s the determination that came to him last night, when he had closed his eyes trying to go to sleep, basking in the warmth of your body beside him.

For all the years of taking you for granted, Suna vowed to himself that from now on, he’s going to cherish every moment he spends with you.

TO BE CONTINUED.

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[kumottai]

connection.

no names; the only thing that connects you both in moments of disentanglement. 

disconnection- a state of being isolated or detached.

that’s what i feel about him right now. never would i have thought would i feel such intuition in someone i called my comfort, my safe space, my home. he’s the closest thing to me yet i feel so, so far away from him— and nothing seemed to close that distance.

i sighed, staring into the ceiling in a room where no light was allowed to enter. i drowned in loneliness, talking to no other but the voices stemming from my inner dialogue. all were insults and slander, nothing good or comforting to say to me.

i felt my phone vibrate underneath my pillow. mustering up all the strength i had at that moment, i checked to see who disrupted my mantra, squinting at the screen as it heavily contrasted the darkness of my surroundings. it was no other than him: my disconnection.

him: hey

him: i know you’re not okay

him: and i feel very disconnected from you right now

a felt my chest tighten, happy that he matched my feelings but dejected that he was experiencing these things too. unable to gather my thoughts to form a response, i stayed silent staring at the grey bubbles, thinking. then, another text had been sent, this time a spotify link.

him: *spotify link*

him: here, join this session. we can listen to music together

him: at least the music will keep us close

him: goodnight

i clicked on the link which put us in a listening session together, and felt relieved— a breath left my lips and my thoughts simmered down, allowing me to calm my heart. it didn’t matter what song was played during that night or what happened earlier that day,

at that moment i felt connected to him, and i realized disconnection was never really a thing in our dictionary. 

[bakubaji]

threadfic miya twins character study / sakuatsu 6.7k

miya twins angst, hurt/comfort, loneliness, learning about self worth, skts but mostly a miya twin focus

There’s this thing in most SakuAtsu fics that always gets me, but I never feel like it’s gone into enough, and it’s when there’s a fight/miscommunication between the Miya twins. There’s always some angst and then they get into a fist fight and all is well. But 9 times out of 10 what happens is, it seems like Tsumu is being a whiny brat over something small, he brings it up, they fight, and they settle it like ‘Yep, Tsumu’s just dramatic’, and it always feels like the whole thing boils down to Tsumu being unable to move on, Samu being more mature, and Tsumu ends up kind of being comedic relief for getting so worked up. (Also, half the time, it’s Tsumu being worked up because Samu tells everyone something or whatever, and in the end Suna and Samu are like ‘You’re being a brat lol’ and that’s that). And, without fail, it drives me CRAZY bc it always feels like it never addresses the root issue, so it never feels resolved to me.

PSA: I’m not saying this as like, "These are real people- how dare you ignore their feelings!!" but more like, "You're setting up this character with really valid emotions and reactions, and then failing to carry them through and it falls flat. So, here are my thoughts:

The reason Tsumu gets so worked up when it comes to Samu is because Samu is his Most Important Person. Nothing & no one has ever been, or will ever be, more important to him, and he is fully shameless about it.

It's so obvious, even when they bicker. But Samu, from an outside perspective, but also from people who know him, sees Tsumu as his twin, his brother, but not necessarily his Most Important Person or Thing.

Maybe he was when they were younger, but as they grew up, he sort of moved on. Found other things more important and whatever. This is usually where the issue happens: many fics will see the moving on as part of maturing and "resolve" the issue by implying that the solution is that Atsumu needs to move on, and then Omi comes in, etc., etc., everything's good! But that never seems right to me.

I need Samu to be confronted about the fact that Tsumu has always loved him before anything, has always put him first, and yet he, time after time, doesn't do the same.

He tells Suna about quitting volleyball first, he sees Suna more than he sees Tsumu, he doesn't tell him they're dating. And he and Suna- who's known them for a long, long time, who knows how Tsumu is- will regularly poke fun at Tsumu for being dramatic, whiny, overly sensitive, and it hurts Tsumu to know that the two people he's known the longest- including the one person who's supposed to be his other half, who's supposed to always be by his side and always have his back- never try to understand him.

They never seem to care about him as much as they care about each other. And worse than that, they make him feel like something's wrong with him for caring about them the way he does. Like he's too much, too immature, too clingy, and they tease and mock and belittle, knowing exactly where Atsumu's most vulnerable. Crossing all the lines of ‘too far’ and then, instead of apologizing, they laugh it off and tell him to grow up.

And everyone seems to agree.

Just once, JUST ONCE, I want Atsumu to have enough.

I want him to realize that he doesn't deserve that. That nothing's wrong with the way he loves, and the way he needs love.

I want an Atsumu who realizes he's giving himself up over and over just to be ridiculed.

And sure, Samu checks on him when he's sick, and Suna invites him to drink after they play against each other, and eventually they even ask Tsumu to officiate their wedding so they don't have to fight over him, but that's not what Tsumu wanted.

Tsumu wanted to be Samu's best man, the way they'd always planned since they first found out what marriage was. And if, or when, Tsumu ever got married, he'd ask Samu to be his. But it was supposed to go both ways. And Samu was supposed to call when good things happened too (like Suna asking him on a first date, or the loan for the restaurant being approved), or even bad things, not just out of a sense of obligation to make sure Tsumu was okay. And Suna was supposed to invite Tsumu out whenever he was nearby, the way Tsumu did, not just drop a time and place as their teams lined up to shake hands.

Tsumu is always treated like the Least Important Person, and eventually he has to recognize it's not good, it's not fair or healthy or right, and he owes it to himself to stop, because losing his Most Important Person is less painful than what he has right now (at least he hopes). So he starts treating Samu and Suna the way they treat him.

He answers calls (most of the time) but rarely calls first.

He doesn't send pictures of things that remind him of them anymore.

He doesn't send "I miss you" or "Love you" anymore, because they always laugh and brush him off.

He visits the restaurant if the team is in town, but he stops taking the train over on weekends just to say hi

When something big happens, he goes home alone and puts his head between his knees and breathes, because he ‘won't call Samu.’ He won't. Because Samu wouldn't. And it's hard. God, it's so, so hard, and it hurts more than he'd thought. They'd say he was being dramatic, they'd tell him to grow up, get over it. But the way neither of them even seem to notice makes him realize it was the right thing to do.

It's also hard because now Tsumu struggles a bit (a lot) to let people in. Maybe it's not that deep, maybe it's not that big a deal, but if his twin thought he was too much, didn't even care all that much about him in the end, despite the fact that Tsumu would do anything in the world for him, then who the hell would do otherwise? His twin brother and their oldest friend didn't stick around, so Tsumu doesn't really believe anyone actually will.

He becomes closer with his teammates, slowly: Bokuto loves a lot like him- giving all of himself to everyone he cares for- and even with a boyfriend, he still makes so much time for Atsumu, still meets him where he's at, treats him how Tsumu always wanted someone to. Shoyo and Omi become good friends too, through trial and error. Shouyou is easier: Tsumu knows not to expect the same kind of attentiveness from him- he's kind of flighty and distractible, which isn't bad at all. He's so genuine and good regardless.

Omi takes longer, given their sort of warring personalities, but in the end he sees Atsumu as he is, and never asks him to change. He never asks more (or less) from him. Never makes Tsumu feel like he's wrong. In his own ways, Omi pours himself into their friendship wholeheartedly, and the same way he recognizes Atsumu's ways of showing it, Tsumu sees that Omi is doing the same. For once, Tsumu doesn't feel like his care is unwanted.

But even so, new friends (or maybe more?) can only do so much. It's harder and harder to admit it now that he's proven to himself that he wasn't the one in the wrong, but he misses his brother, misses his oldest friend, and he knows they don't miss him. And it's embarrassing, it's shameful, to know that, despite everything, he would still do anything for them because that's just who he is, who he's always been. No matter what, Samu will still be his Most Important Person, and Tsumu can't do anything about it.

They still see each other, sometimes, and Tsumu breathes in each moment like he's been starved for air. He tries not to let it show, just how much he misses them, how happy he is to see them, even if it's not the same. Hell, they're probably happier to see him now than ever before, mentioning how much he's grown up lately, how much better he's doing now that he's not so dependent on them, on Samu. And it hurts infinitely more to hear, to know that they prefer this censored version of him to the real one. The one who was unashamed of how much he loved them, how much they meant to him.

It takes a while for him to heal from that, actually. His new friends help. Omi helps a lot. Bo helps the most- he's the first person Tsumu ever tells about it all, and he's the only one who he trusts to understand. Even then, there's no one who can really share the feeling. Even Bokuto can only speak about friends, his two sisters much older. It's different from a twin, and he knows that. So, to an extent, he has to go it alone.

That's the worst part. Tsumu always believed that being born a twin meant you were never supposed to be alone, not truly. How could you be born part of a perfect matching set only to end up on your own? It felt wrong, it always had. That was why Samu had always been the world to him. For Tsumu, being Samu's brother was as intrinsically part of him as his hands, his eyes, his legs; there was no way to remove that part of himself, not without far too much pain. So he remained Samu's brother, even if it was only in his heart, buried deep so it couldn't be used against him. It was a secret treasure just for him, one that hurt to hold onto, but would hurt much more to lose.

Everything kind of goes to shit eventually, when after a year or two, Omi proposes after they win the Olympics. It was on international television. It made headlines. The sports channel and gossip rags were talking about the same thing for once.

And then Osamu called.

Tsumu almost didn't answer.

He was so happy and he wanted to share it with Samu, but he wanted to hoard it to himself more. But Omi left him alone with a look that said 'answer it,' so he did.

It was silent on the line when he answered, and Tsumu didn't say anything to break it. It was Samu who spoke first.

"Yer gettin' married?"

It took a moment to respond. Samu's voice took him by surprise, how quiet and shaky it was. "Yeah," he said. "Eventually."

"I didn't know the two of ya were together."

Tsumu could've laughed at the irony of it if it didn't sting to hear.

"Never came up, I guess."

"I- Yeah. Guess not. Not much does, these days, it seems."

Atsumu pressed a hand to his mouth and stared at the door Omi had left through, pushing down the urge to scream or maybe cry. It had been two or so years since he'd left, and Samu had never even noticed the difference until now.

"What happened?" Samu asked, voice shaking that way it did when he refused to cry. "What happened to us, Tsumu?"

Atsumu took a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh. "Samu, if you don't know, it's not gonna matter."

He wasn't trying to be obtuse. He didn't want to guilt Samu into anything. But if Samu couldn't tell that he'd caused this, that he'd always been the one to push that distance further and further... If he couldn't see that much, Tsumu didn't know if he could fix it.

He couldn't do it on his own. He couldn't put himself through that again, not after he'd put this much work in to help himself.

"I don't- I don't know. I don't know why ya wouldn't tell me. I thought we told each other things like this."

Tsumu's laugh was harsh. "Ya can't be serious."

"What’d'ya mean? I'm dead serious, Tsumu."

"After Suna? Ya think ya have any right to say that?"

"What-I- that was different, Tsum. Ya found out eventually, and not because I got proposed to on live television."

"'Cause it was so much better walkin' in on the two of ya fuckin' after ya told me ya couldn't come visit 'cause ya got caught up at work!"

"And I told ya I was sorry! I didn't think ya were gonna come over, ya lived two cities away!"

"And I wanted to see ya!" Atsumu yelled. "I wanted to see my brother, was that so bad?!"

Of course that wouldn't have occurred to Samu, Tsumu thought, because he wouldn't have done the same. Samu only came when Tsumu invited him. At the very least he'd call ahead. He never surprised him. He didn't go out of his way because he wanted to see Tsumu.

"It doesn't matter," Atsumu said, sucking in a deep breath. "I already told ya. Look I- I don't wanna do this. At all. Right now. I just- I just got engaged, Samu. I just won the Olympics. You've had forever to do this, why'd'ya hafta do it now?"

Samu was silent for a long time. "Is it so bad? Did I do somethin' so bad to ya?"

"Samu, please, not- not now."

"Ya can't even tell me? I'm your brother, Tsumu, we can't just-"

"Brothers?” Atsumu laughed. It came out like a sob. "Samu, when was the last time you acted like a brother to me?"

"I- what?"

"Samu, when- God, I don't wanna do this right now. Fuck." He wished he could go back just five minutes and not answer the call. Hold onto Omi instead.

"Do ya even know when I realized ya were tearin' me apart?" Atsumu asked, throwing an arm over his face. "It's been two years now, and ya just now noticed. You and Rin just- the two of ya- ya don't even know how much ya hurt me. Ya didn't even care."

"H-hurt ya? Tsumu, what're ya talkin' about? What's Rin gotta do with this?"

"Look, I don't- I just- do we hafta do this now?"

"Yes we hafta do it now!" Samu spit. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"God, I just- fuck, Samu, I couldn't stand it anymore! You know I love ya more than anythin'. Do you know how it was for me? Always 'Tsumu's too much', 'Tsumu's being dramatic', 'Tsumu's too clingy'. I just cared about ya! But it was too much for ya. Both of ya. I thought, for so long, that somethin' was wrong with me. I thought 'even my own brother thinks it's too much, the way I love people'. Do you know how long it took for me to realize it was okay? That there wasn't somethin' wrong with me?

"Everythin' I did, everythin' I am was too much for ya. Too much for Rin. And ya couldn't even just- just pretend, or even tolerate it. Ya made- ya made me feel so bad. All the time. And ya never once- never made me feel like ya gave a shit about me.

"Yer my twin, that- to me, that means everythin', Samu. It means everythin' to me. You mean everythin' to me, and it- it hurts so bad, knowin' ya don't care, knowing I'm not the person you wanna tell things to, the person that ya rely on. God, to you I'm just- what? A burden? Just the person ya ended up stuck with? Did ya ever want me around or was I just there?

"‘Cause I always wanted you around. I wanna tell ya everythin', good or bad, big or small. Yer the one I've always- always relied on. I always told ya everythin'. And ya know what you did? Ya went and told Rin. Anythin' I told ya, secret or not, ya went and told Rin. And when you had somethin' to share, who did ya go to? Rin. Always Rin, never me. "Ya never cared that some things I only wanted you to know. Ya never cared that I wanted to be there to cheer you on or support ya. Ya never- I was never important to ya, not like you are to me. And that's- there's nothin' I can do about that, but I couldn't keep puttin' myself through it. So ya don't get to call after all this time and say I owe ya anythin' because we're 'brothers’. Ya lost that right, Samu."

Tsumu broke off, only vaguely realizing he'd ended up yelling. He was breathing heavy, eyes stinging, throat tight. This wasn't how he'd wanted his night to go. He should've been spending time with Omi, thinking about a ring since Omi had proposed with a medal.

He could hear Samu breathing over the phone, ragged and uneven, hitching with nearly silent sobs.

"D'ya see, Samu?" Atsumu whispered. "It's not- I can't fix this. I spent- I spent so long chasin' you. So long pretendin'. I won't do that to myself again, Samu. It hurt too much."

"I didn't-" Samu sounded broken. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to-"

"I know," Tsumu interrupted. "I know ya didn't, but that doesn't mean anythin' to me. I never wanted ya to treat me one way out of pity or guilt. I wanted it because yer my brother, and if ya- if ya cared about me like how I care about you, it wouldn't... It doesn't matter now.

"Look, Samu... I'm not mad at ya. Not anymore. And I still love ya more than anythin', that'll never change. But I got engaged tonight. I won the Olympics. And I don't wanna hurt right now. I just wanna be happy for a night, Samu. Can I have that much from ya, at least?"

Tsumu waited until Samu choked out a fragile ‘yes’, and then hung up and tossed his phone away. That was not what he'd envisioned for tonight. He felt simultaneously drained and like he might burst at the seams.

It took a while for Omi to come back, but when he did, he found Tsumu with his head between his knees, breathless and shaking as he cried.

Omi didn't ask him about anything, he just wrapped him up in his arms and told him he'd done well, and he was proud of him. It didn't ease the pain, but it helped some.

It helped because, even after everything, it was hard for Tsumu to not feel like he'd overreacted.

In his mind, Samu was talking with Suna right now, complaining about how Tsumu always did this, blew up for no reason just to make a fuss. Even after all this time, Atsumu wondered if he was the one in the wrong, the one making a big deal out of nothing, causing Samu problems again.

But Omi was there, holding him, reminding him with his words and his presence that it wasn't Atsumu's fault. That he hadn't done anything wrong by setting his boundaries, by recognizing what his love was worth.

They didn't celebrate that night, or even the next, but eventually they did, and Atsumu was happy even if he'd always pictured that his brother would be there for a moment like this.

Omi asked at one point when Tsumu would want the wedding, but Atsumu just fell silent and Omi understood. Nothing was going to happen yet. Tsumu has given up enough, but he couldn't... he couldn't give that up too. He may not have been Samu's best man, but he still wanted Samu to be his. and that couldn't happen right now, so he couldn't even begin to think about the rest of it. But Omi understood, and he was patient.

Time passed, as it was wont to do, and Tsumu settled again— or at least he would have, but Samu and Suna were acting... weird. It wasn't really anything obvious at first, especially since neither of them ever brought up the phone call, but...

First was Tsumu's mom, who mentioned on their weekly call that Samu had been bothering her like crazy, asking about their high school days and what she remembered about the three of them. Then Kita texted saying ‘Do you know if Osamu is in therapy? it may be a good idea.’ Which in Kita speak meant ‘Your brother's acting weird as fuck, tell him to leave me alone and bother someone who's paid to put up with him.’ Then Samu texted, saying he was going to be in town for a weekend. He'd be really busy, so he was getting a hotel room so he wouldn't disturb Tsumu with his comings and goings, but he had a potential opportunity to open up a new branch and he had to check things out.

“Could we meet?” he'd asked, and Tsumu stared at his phone for a long time, because they'd never been the kind of people who had to ask about things like that. “‘course,” he'd texted, biting his lip. “Lmk when you have time, we'll go out to eat.”

Then Suna called out of the blue after a game that Tsumu had watched on the TV in the living room. "Rin?" Tsumu answered, turning the volume down even though he liked watching post-game commentary. "Ya okay?"

"Did ya watch the game?" Suna asked, no greeting or anything.

"Yeah, just had it on. T'was good."

"It was ratshit," Suna grunted. "They got through half my blocks no problem, and shut me out more than not." Atsumu blinked at the TV screen, playing highlight reels of the game. The game Suna had just called him out of the blue to talk about.

"Wasn't yer best," he admitted slowly, Suna could be a bit prickly about his abilities when he didn't do well. "But ya knew goin' in yer usual tricks wouldn't be the most effective with them. An ace like that is hard to stop, and he happens to be built like a tank. Ya had a lot of good receives in the back row, kept yer team goin'."

Suna hummed, and Tsumu could hear the weary disappointment. "I guess. I just wanted to do better."

"I know ya did." Because Suna always did. Tsumu wondered if maybe Suna had meant to call Samu instead? "But what's done is done, no use workin' yerself up about it. Practice harder, so they can't shut ya out next time."

"I know. I know, yer right, I'm just..."

"I know. You should have Samu make ya some hirata buns. Ya always liked those when we lost."

Suna was quiet for a moment. "Yers are better than yer brother's," he finally grumbled, and Tsumu's cheeks flushed at the unexpected praise. "But yeah. Thanks, Tsum. I gotta go, coach wants to debrief. Thanks for pickin' up.”

Atsumu stared at his phone for a long time after the call ended.

Weird things like that kept happening. Tsumu came home to Omi unboxing a package of individually wrapped onigiri from Samu's shop that he'd found waiting by the door when he got home. Suna kept sending him pictures of the stray cat that kept showing up behind their apartment. Kita texted again asking ‘How have you been, Atsumu?', which made Atsumu's lip start wobbling and Omi called him a crybaby. Even Bo asked him at practice if something had happened with Samu, because apparently Akaashi had gone in to eat and kept having to text Bo questions because Samu kept hounding him about Tsumu; how he was? Was he doing well in practice? Did he have good friends on the team? Was Omi good to him?

Eventually, Samu was in town, and they met up to eat at a Chinese hot pot place between Tsumu's home and Samu's hotel. It was their first time seeing each other in person since before the phone call, and Tsumu was nervous. He'd thought about inviting Omi with him, but Omi had straight up refused. "Call me if you need me," he'd said, with a voice that said he'd be there in a heartbeat, but he told Atsumu this was something he probably had to do on his own. And Samu hadn't brought Suna, which was rare even when Suna was in season, so Tsumu agreed to return the courtesy. Just them, then. Tsumu and Samu, Samu and Tsumu. What a ridiculous thing to be scared of.

In the end, though it was just the two of them, they got enough food for four. it was almost distracting enough to drown out the inescapable awkwardness between them. Almost.

Atsumu didn't want to bring anything up, not when they were having an almost normal meal again, so he let Samu guide the conversation.

Samu told him about the property he'd gone to visit here in the city, a small restaurant that had been a ramen shop before it shut down. Tsumu looked at the pictures he was shown and agreed that it looked like a good place, though Samu would need a refrigerated display. Samu told him that their ma was trying to grow radishes in her window boxes, and Tsumu laughed and pretended that was the first he'd heard of it. Samu explained, staring fixedly at the vegetables floating in the spicy broth, that Suna thought it was best he didn't come this time, so it didn't feel like the two of them were ganging up on Tsumu again when they apologized, and Tsumu-

Tsumu blinked.

"If we came to ya, both of us at once, wouldn't it still feel like it was us versus you?" Samu asked quietly. "I didn't- I didn't tell him everythin' you told me, I swear, but he's always been smarter than us, he put it together since... with everythin' you said the last time, I didn't wanna seem like we were just apologizin' to get over it, ya know? And we thought, maybe, showin' up together might not be the best way to show we heard ya and everythin'."

Tsumu blinked at Samu, who blinked at the sweet potato that bobbed to the surface of the boiling soup.

"Look, Tsumu," Samu said, "I don't know when... when I started treatin' ya so bad. I don't know, and I don't know how I never noticed, or how I never saw when you… when you had enough of it. I never wanted to push ya like that. I never wanted to hurt ya. I know it's too late to say stuff like that, and I know it doesn't really matter, not when it can't change anythin', but it's true. And I'm sorry we made it impossible for you to talk to us. I know you tried to, and we just- just laughed it off. That was... fuck. I'm sorry, Tsumu. I really, really am. And ya don't hafta forgive me for it, not now, or- or ever, if ya don't want to. What we did, what I did- it wasn't fair to you. And more than that, I never should've... yer my brother, Tsumu. I should've been there for ya, I should've been the one you could come to when ya felt like shit or wanted to cry about somethin'. I should've been the person you could tell about yer first day in the big leagues, or yer new friends, or, or gettin' engaged. And- and ya still told me about so much of it, even when I-" he broke off with a frustrated sound. Samu had never been good at talking.

"I betrayed yer trust in me," Samu forced out. "And did it over and over, even when ya kept givin' me more chances." Samu took a deep breath, and he finally looked up to meet Tsumu's eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't keep yer secrets. I'm sorry I didn't listen when you needed me to. I'm sorry I ever made ya feel like you were wrong for trustin' me, for believin' that you deserved someone to be there for ya. You do, Tsumu. You always did, and I'm sorry it wasn't me.

“Most of all," he took a deep breath and started again. "Most of all, I'm sorry I made ya feel like you weren't a brother to me.

"We've always been more different that people think, but I still should've met ya halfway instead of makin' you cover the distance alone every time. I should've known how you are and what you need, the way you always have for me. And Rin- I'm not gonna apologize for him, he'll do that himself, but you always took care of him too. The three of us... we should've all looked out for each other, but you took care of all of us, and Rin and I just- we just looked out for ourselves. I'm sorry, Tsumu. And ya don't hafta let me, but I wanna make it up to ya. I wanna be- I wanna be brothers again, how we used to be. And i'll do the work, i'll go the whole distance, i'll do whatever ya need. You won't be alone in it anymore, I promise ya.

"I just want my big brother back, Tsumu. I miss ya, and I can't do all this without ya."

Atsumu met Samu's gaze, shell shocked at the sudden apology, and neither of them spoke for a long moment. Then suddenly, they both sniffed and tore their eyes away-the kind of in sync move that used to get them "There it is! Twin telepathy!" when they were young.

"Fuck, now I'm cryin' into the soup," Samu grumbled under his breath, wiping at his face roughly with the back of his wrist. "Why'd we hafta do this right now?"

"Hah?! Yer the one who brought it up, what do you mean we?!" Tsumu cried out, wiping his own face with a handful of paper napkins. "This is yer fault, not mine!"

"It's not my fault I had to apologize!" Samu retorted on instinct, and both of them paused. Tsumu sent him a thoroughly unimpressed glare- as much of a glare as he could manage when his eyes wouldn't stop watering.

"Say that again, slowly," Tsumu invited. "Yeah, yeah, I heard it as soon as I said it," Samu grunted, face pink. "Are we gonna keep talkin' about it or can we eat?"

"Well for one, I don't think yer in a place to be makin' demands right now," Tsumu said with as haughty a sniffle as he could manage. “And for two, I get hungry when I cry so food now, talk later."

"I know ya do, that's why I asked in the first place," Samu grumbled, but he swiped a piece of Tsumu's lamb and swished it around in the mala broth, just how Tsumu liked it, before reaching across the table and dropping it in Tsumu's dipping sauce.

It was hardly anything really, but Tsumu stared at it for a while. there were some things, he supposed, that Samu had noticed about him. Had remembered through the years. It didn't absolve him of his wrongs, it didn't fix things, but... it was nice to know, anyway. Tsumu wondered if Samu thought of him when he went out to eat with Suna, the way Tsumu always did; scanning the menu briefly to figure out what his brother would order if he was there.

Did Samu think about him when the first fireflies of the season began to appear, the ones they used to chase around with a glass jar in late summer?

Did he think of him, like Tsumu did, when that song came on the radio- the one their ma would sing out loud while she cleaned the kitchen, Tsumu and Samu watching cartoons in the next room?

Did he think of him, sometimes, when he woke up and there wasn't someone there? A matching set that had climbed under the covers with him when the thunder got too loud?

Even after all this time, so much of Tsumu's world was built by Samu. the smell of fireworks and takoyaki during matsuris, the sailor moon theme song they performed for their grandparents when they were six, the scar on his big toe where Samu nearly bit it off as a baby.

It was impossible to go a day without thinking about him, even if he tried. Samu was ingrained in his very being, always had been. Was he the same to him, tattooed on his soul from start to finish?

They ate in relative silence: Samu bracing himself for what would come next, Tsumu trying. his best to just make sense of things. A long time ago he'd posted on one of those advice forums, hurt and confused and searching for answers. They had come, mostly in the form of "Family or not, a relationship like that is more harm than good. Cut ties, put yourself first!", and some half dozen variations just like it. Tsumu had gotten sick thinking about it. He hadn't deleted the post because it was against the forum rules to delete once people had answered, but he made sure to reply to everyone. ‘You don't know what you're talking about. He's my twin brother.’

Dinner was long, though not as long as it could have been if they'd talked, but Tsumu still didn't really know what to say as they left. He wanted to say something like "It's alright, I forgive you, let's go back to how we were before" but he honestly couldn't really remember- couldn't remember when "before" was. It was hard, actually, to remember the last time Samu hadn't... hadn't scared him, at least a little.

When Tsumu went running up to him with something to say, or when he found himself crying after a bad game, or when he wanted attention just because- he couldn't remember the last time he hadn't gone expecting a weary sigh, an eye roll, a derisive laugh.

So he couldn't say it was okay. But he had a chance to have his brother back, and even if it was a bad decision, even if it meant he was the vulnerable one once again... for Samu, he would do it. He would do it again, with his trust and his hope on full display.

But this time- this time, Samu needed to do it too. Belly up and helpless, knowing the costs of failure. Tsumu wouldn't be the only one, not this time.

"I'll let ya," he finally said, the two of them frozen under some streetlight, hands shoved in their pockets to protect them from showing too much. "You and Rin, if he wants to. I'll let ya make it up to me. I want ya to, Samu, and I mean that. I don't want- this isn't some power play, alright? I'm not tryin' to guilt trip you into doin' whatever I want until I decide yer forgiven. you know I'd do anythin' for ya, even now. So, don't do this ‘cause ya want somethin' from me. I want ya to do this because you miss me too. I want-" it was hard to ask for what he wanted. "I want ya to treat me well, Samu. I want ya to treat me like someone ya want to be around, someone ya actually- actually love. Not someone ya just got stuck with.”

He took a deep breath. "We've always been brothers because that's how we were born. But I choose to be yer brother every day, Samu. I don't regret it, and I'll do it every day until I die. But you have to make that choice now. You have to prove ya want this, that it- that we, that I, am worth that effort for ya. Got it? Because I've had enough of bein' an afterthought, and I- I know now that I deserve more. So I don't really want yer apologies, to be honest, though I appreciate it nonetheless. If ya wanna make it up to me, I want ya to show up for me. I want ya to care about the things I love, to listen to me when I talk, even if ya think it's just a nod along if I'm mad! I want to know that I can go to ya about anythin'. That ya won't judge me, won't laugh at me or put me down, and I'm not- I'm not askin' ya to treat me like a princess or anythin'. I can take a joke, but ya need to know where the line is. And it won't work if I hafta point it out to ya every time. You need to pay attention. You need to care enough that I don't hafta worry about whether or not I'm linin' up to be laughed at. Understand?"

The worry that he was asking too much, making a fuss over nothing, was still incessant in the back of his mind. But he thought about his friends, about Omi, about the way he'd always shown up for Samu and Suna. If it wasn't too much for them, why would it be too much for him?

It still felt dramatic, a bit excessive, but- Samu was nodding fiercely, a determined frown pulling at his lips. "I'll do it," he said, so sure of himself. "You've always done it for us, haven't ya? If you can do it, I can do it."

Tsumu blinked. Scowled. "This isn't a competition, ya scrub! Take it seriously!"

"I'm dead serious!" Samu huffed. "Besides, what have we ever taken more seriously than a competition? All I'm sayin' is, genetically or whatever, there's no reason you should be all good at something that I can't do. So, if you can do it, I can do it. I will. I'm serious, Tsumu. Not to get anythin', not to prove anythin', just- just because, alright? You deserve it, and I miss ya, and I wanna be- I wanna be someone you trust again. I wanna be good to ya."

And it was just words- it was just promises that might or might not be kept, but it was more than Atsumu had ever expected. He was terrified, sure, but this... this meant the world to him, and he was willing to take the risk.

"Alright, alright. Then, that's it then, yeah? We've aired our grievances-"

"You aired your grievances."

"All that's left is puttin' yer money where yer mouth is. And if this is a competition-"

"It is, at least a little bit."

"Then ya should know the stakes."

Atsumu leveled Samu with a steady look. "It better end in a tie. ‘Cause if I come out on top again, I'm not risking a third chance. If I'm the one giving everything again, I'm not going to give any more.”

"Loud and clear," Samu agreed with a nod.

"And if I win, ya never get to bring up me quittin' volleyball around ma ever again.'' It was such a stupid bet, but Tsumu knew better. Samu put the odds in his favor- everything he did would be for Tsumu's benefit, not his own. If he won, all he would gain was Atsumu.

The way he looked at him now, eyes still a little pink around the edges, shoulders tight in that way they got before a fight... that was enough. Atsumu, for once, would be enough.

"Deal," Tsumu finally said, offering an outstretched pinky. Samu locked it with his own, pressed their thumbs together. "Deal."

Things weren't fixed yet, not by a long shot, but for once, Atsumu felt like things might be okay. Maybe in a year, he could plan a wedding. Have his brother as his best man, and his best friend could wipe his ma's tears when she started crying too hard.

It was far away still, but if there was one thing Tsumu knew better than anything, it was his brother, and the look in Samu's eyes said I'll do whatever it takes. Tsumu knew that look because he wore it the same.

To be brothers again, I'll do whatever it takes.

For the first time in his life, Atsumu entered a competition hoping he would lose.