#super fun low effort project and now my sister is home win-win

[stupid-and-cute-are-enough]

today is my birthday but my sister works til 2 so like any sane and well-adjusted person i drew montgomery gator

i saw that monster by skillet was in were-monty's playlist and ive been haunted by this ever since (@get-rammed)

[thedeaditeslayer]

Living with the Cult Legacy of Evil Dead.

Here’ s a recent interview with Ellen Sandweiss by Den of Geek that discusess The Evil Dead, current cinema, and feminism.

We chat with Ellen Sandweiss, who played Ash Williams' damned sister in The Evil Dead, about a horror legacy nearly 40 years on.

Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead franchise seems to have had at least nine bloody lives. First was the original 1981 movie that propelled lead actor Bruce Campbell and director Sam Raimi to cult cinema stardom, and then there were the sequels (The Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness), the 2013 remake, and even a cable TV show via Ash vs Evil Dead. These low budget efforts, originally labeled as “video nasties” in the UK, became a refuge for film aficionados to revel in macabre humor, bad puns, and practical disembowelment effects that rivaled Tom Savini’s best work.

Less lauded though is the coven of women in the original feature that Campbell’s Ash battles to the death and beyond. In The Evil Dead, Ash drives to the remote cabin in the woods with his girlfriend Linda (Betsy Baker), a few friends, and his sister Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss) for their spring break. Cheryl’s character is the first to notice something awry upon their arrival, the first to suffer at the hands of the demonic entity in the now (in)famous tree rape scene, and the first to be seized by the demonic entity’s possession.

It is really Cheryl’s character on which so much of the narrative’s propulsive force hinges. As a result, she exercises her acting chomps adroitly. Whether frantically attempting to convince her brother and friends that “it was the woods themselves! They’re alive!” or cautiously traversing the dark forest with the whites of her bulging eyes, Sandweiss showcases both Cheryl’s humanity and her intense fear. When she embraces her possession, pus-filled and pawing at hapless Ash, she recalls the witch from Anne Sexton’s poem “Her Kind,” which details a lonely, twelve-fingered evil. “A woman like that is not a woman, quite.”

Sandweiss also was the first non-Campbell actor to reprise a role in the series when she appeared in Ash vs Evil Dead Season 2. Den of Geek spoke with Sandweiss about her acting career, her work with Campbell and Raimi, TimesUp, and if the tree scene would be shot the same way in 2019 as it was almost 40 years ago in the backwoods of Tennessee.

What got you interested in acting? What led to your getting the part of Cheryl in The Evil Dead?

I acted in school plays and local theatre starting in middle school. I come from a very artsy family and was involved in music and dance as well. Then I went to high school in suburban Detroit with Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell and was in plays with them. They had been making super 8 movies since they were in their early teens, so I was often in those movies as a teenager. I then went to college at the University of Michigan where I majored in theatre, and during one summer, we made “Within the Woods,” a short film that Bruce and Sam made to garner interest and money from investors in order to make their first feature film, Book of the Dead, which then became The Evil Dead. Once they had raised the funds, I took a semester off college in ’79 to 80 and we shot the film in Tennessee.

What was your experience like on the set of The Evil Dead? Do you have a favorite memory of shooting the original?

My experience making The Evil Dead was mixed. Of course it was exhilarating at age 20 to be off making a feature film, and the “boys” [Raimi, Campbell, and producer Rob Tapert] were a lot of fun. But the budget was tiny, and it wasn’t a union film, so the conditions were harsh and everyone on the set was very inexperienced. We were all in our early 20s and for many it was our first experience making a feature film. At the Tennessee cabin where we shot most of the film, we had no electricity, no plumbing and no running water—need I say more?

Could you have anticipated, at that time, the kind of cult following that film would have especially with both the remake and TV show?

I could never have anticipated the eventual cult status of the film. When we made The Evil Dead, there was no video rental, no streaming, etc. So films, if they were distributed at all, would end up either at a first-run theater or at a B-movie theater or drive-in, which was where our film landed. Honestly, when we were shooting the film, I thought (and hoped) it would never actually be seen. Then, after a few years, it was released and then it disappeared. I forgot about it and went on with school, then graduate school in arts administration, followed by management jobs in non-profits.

It was when video rentals were born, a few years later, that people started becoming interested in Evil Dead, followed by multiple releases on VHS, then DVD, laser disc, Blu-ray, etc. I didn’t actually realize it had a cult following until around 2001 when my teenaged daughter’s geeky friends started talking about it and ED t-shirts were appearing at local film and comic memorabilia shops. Then we had a 20-year reunion screening, and it was after that that the other two actresses and I started making convention appearances as “Ladies of the Evil Dead.”

What was it like revisiting Cheryl as a character when you did two episodes of Ash vs. Evil Dead?

Revisiting Cheryl in Ash vs the Evil Dead was a hoot! At that point they had a big budget, union rules and lots of experience under their belts, so it was a lot more comfortable. It was fun acting again with Bruce, whom I’ve remained friends with all these years, and of course it was wonderful getting to see New Zealand, where we shot the episodes.

Do you think the tree scene from Evil Dead would be filmed in the same way today as it was done then?

Yes, I’m sure that the tree scene would be done differently if it was filmed today. First, I’m not sure that it would be characterized as a “tree rape,” as Sam has since said he regrets that it ended up that way. I think it would have gone back to what was originally intentioned in the script: trees coming to life and attacking Cheryl, which would also satisfy today’s more feminist audiences (and actresses!). And I’m sure that CGI would be used instead of the reverse-filming, or whatever it’s called, to show vines wrapping around me.

What is it like coming back 35 years later on the show and actually exploring a sibling dynamic?

It was great fun to do Ash vs Evil Dead all these years later and visit the earlier lives of Cheryl and Ash in their family home. In the original film, I believe there was only one line referring to their relationship (“it’s your sister Cheryl!”), and if you missed that you were probably wondering what this weird morose girl was doing on a party weekend with these two college couples! In Ash vs. ED, fighting with Bruce took sibling rivalry to a new level—I loved taunting him and I always enjoy filming a good fight scene. Of course he was the star, so he had to win in the end, but I did enjoy my final words, emanating from my decapitated head on the ground: “Not again....” We actually played around with some other final words—I thought, “Mom always liked you best” would be funny, but nobody seemed to agree with me!

Many people are saying that the horror genre is having a renaissance with hits like Us and Hereditary. What do you think it is about horror that has audiences continually returning to it?

I admittedly am not a horror expert by any stretch of the imagination. I normally don’t watch horror films, but I did watch Us because I love everything Jordan Peele does. I liked it because for the most part it didn’t focus only on blood and guts—there were actually well-formed characters and a message. I think that certain people will always want to explore their dark side, and horror films allow them to do that in a safe space. I also think some people simply like the adrenalin rush they get from being scared.

In the past few years, there's been a lot of discussion around the representation of women on screen. A lot of this conversation seems to be fueled by #MeToo and #TimesUp movement. What’s been your impression of the shifts being made in Hollywood?

I love the shifts being made and hope that they continue to shift even more. Everything about the women’s movement, MeToo, TimesUp, etc. can only make our choices in entertainment better. My daughter is an actress, and I like the improvement of the roles that are available to her. Of course we need more female producers, writers, and directors, and I wish that was happening a little more quickly.

What films have been most exciting to you as an audience member in the past few years?

I’m such a film enthusiast that I really can’t name specific films. But in general, I’m drawn mostly to indie films that make me think, laugh, and cry, and films that cast women in interesting roles.

Do you have any new roles or projects coming up that you can speak about?

No, I’m pretty much retired at this point, although sometimes I will come out of the closet and do a play. Mostly I’m having fun watching the acting careers of my daughter Jessy Hodges and her husband Beck Bennett blossom!

[gopherchuck5]

My Struggles with Self-worth

This is going to be a bit of a serious blog post today, just as a heads-up.

I want to let people know about the internal struggles I've had going on with me since I was a child. I want to explain the highs, the lows, the fears, the conflicts, and everything in-between. Yes, I know that this blog is primarily dedicated to updates and behind-the-scenes info for my projects, and I intend to keep it that way. My struggles with self-worth and all that is wrapped up in that package have a direct influence on the media that I create.

So let's start at the beginning with the most long-running issue that I've let plague me since grade school. I'm the third oldest in a family of 6 children (plus two step siblings in later years), and the oldest male of them all. With things as they were, my younger brothers practically idolized me. I was the male to look up to in our single mother household, and I became the standard of what they sought to be like as they grew older. I did my best to be strong, proper, independant, and always chivalrous. There was just one major problem: I never saw myself as "manly". I was always much more interested in feminine things, whether it be toys, TV shows, or anything else. (As an aside: I couldn't tell you whether this had anything to do with me growing up with two older sisters. I had a head injury at the age of 10, and only remember key events and whatever was recorded via home video. By this age, I didn't play much with my older sisters, but usually just with my brothers and my friends from school and the neighborhood.)

So as time went on and I became aware of this feminine side of me, I would actively cover it up with pretending to be interested in the more male-oriented things that my friends liked. Fifth grade me had no idea what a Beyblade was, or was able to tell the difference between any of the characters in Dragon Ball Z, but I would play as my assigned character out at recess before heading home and watching the Powerpuff Girls. I would write in major female characters into my comics that I wrote, but always had them surrounded by males, so that I could excuse her presence to my friends when it would come up.

By middle school, there wasn't much I could do to hide this part of me. Times were different back then, and picking on the girly-boy was always on everyone's to-do list. My ears were pierced, my hair was long, I sang in the school choir, and I hung out with my girl friends more often than the guys. Things turned especially sour when many of the guys that I called my friends one day all turned on me, calling me names and generally bullying me whenever they had the chance. Our friend group was split down the middle, with some standing up for me, and the others ridiculing me. The fact that these were people that I had called friends just days previously hurt me down to the core. I turned to my school counselor who suggested that I tried to like the things that they liked (aka the "guy" stuff) in order to become their friends again. All around me, all that I heard was one common theme of "you aren't supposed to be like this". It wore me down until I was nothing. I cursed God for making me wrong. And one day in 7th grade, I took a knife from the kitchen and snuck it to school in my cargo jeans.

Needless to say, I'm still here. This doesn't mean that I got over this issue. Time moved on, and in 2017, I finally accepted that as part of who I am after over a decade. The problem is, these types of issues don't go away, they simply change shape. Now that I have a duty to provide for a family, I've quickly found that in the American midwest (the do it yourself, manual labor capitol), I'm just not cut out to be like everyone else. Thanks in part to my super high metabolism leaving me scrawny and weak no matter what I do, and in part to my useless right shoulder after an incident in high school, I'm just not physically cut out to do much. I've been unemployed for months on end multiple times throughout my adult life, which could have been remedied quickly if I was able to do simple manual labor.

When living in the midwest and possessing a list of skills that are primarily creative, out of the box, and self-driven, there's just not any need for someone like me around here. Where has my degree in animation gotten me? Food service, retail, and revising paperwork. IT work is expected of me no matter where I end up, despite my active efforts to never have that title near me. I don't know anything about how computers function, and yet this is something thrust upon me. So this is where I am now, asking why I was given such a great skill set that is useless where I am?

The second struggle I have feeding into my miniscule self-worth is my relationships with friends. There's a reason that I love to write about characters and their relationships with others; it's nice to imagine what it would be like. In college, I gained a small handful of friends in the form of two of my classmates. Since then, both of which have moved to different states. My best friend in high school, basically ignores me whenever I attempt to talk or meet up with him. In the odd event that we do run into each other, things are always great, and I'd love to have it happen more often, but if I can't get any response ever, then how can I make that happen? Lastly, I gained a good friend at a past job of mine, but the differences in interests, background, maturity, ideals, and now location, has left the entire relationship strained extremely thin. My only solace happens once a year, for a short while, I get to reunite with a group of people with whom I get along really well with and we are all genuinely interested in each others' lives. Connecting online is out of the question when only one or two of them use social media, and it's very limited use, at that. A year or so ago, I actually had found a friend. He was a good influence, had a wife and daughter right around the ages of my wife and son, we all got along really well, and they lived nearby. Things were finally looking up for me; I had that friend I was looking for for so long. But life intervened, and they soon found themselves moving back south after being here for only a few months.

The problem isn't that I'm an unlikable guy. In every major job I've had where I've worked with people around my age, I've been easily regarded as a fun and relatable co-worker, someone to depend on, and a friend to call on when clocked out. The problem is, when you're a 21-year old assistant manager to a bunch of high school girls, you can't exactly hang out with them or get too close without people getting the wrong idea. Years pass, and the appropriate timeline to reconnect fades quickly.

Social media plays a large part in how I view myself, as well, and it really ties into the "friends" aspect of this all. It all plays into who I am, and that is, a content creator. Over the years, I've done everything from animation to short stories, from a written novel to a visual novel. That's who I am and that's what I do. My greatest desire is to make stories that can touch people around the world. Yet as much as I can tell all of my Facebook friends about how hard I've been working on my visual novel, or how proud I am of an animated short I just finished, it goes completely unnoticed. My wife is typically the only person nice enough to leave a "like" on anything I post. Is it just a matter of people not seeing my posts thanks to how the site operates? Of course not. The moment I post a picture of my kids, there's 14 likes and 6 comments. It's become such a frustration to me, that posting anything to that site makes me think of it more as a social experiment on what I could possibly post that would garner any sort of interest from the people I call friends.

In a bit of a side statement to that, the creative portions of the internet have been incredibly toxic to my self-worth. I joined Discord with the exclusive reasoning of finding "good vibes only", positive places to post and share artwork and chat. Of the three channels that I found, one of them actually voted to remove me on the grounds that I was a straight white male, and didn't need any more attention. Another channel became too hard to visit, as all of my artwork was completely ignored, which is generally what I'm used to, but other artists' pieces that were just... not very good... were talked about and praised for twenty minutes. It was painful to watch the notifications come in over and over until I posted something and they came to a grinding halt. Lastly, the real killer for me was when I was graciously invited to join a channel specifically for VN creators in order to try to drum up some more interest in my project. What ended up happening was a three-hour attack including people telling me that "no one would ever read this", "the artwork looks like s**t", "stop wasting your time", and my favorite, "if you want to get a single reader when it looks like this, you'll need to try to sell it as a hentai". The platform became such a reminder of my own insecurities, that I haven't been able to even launch the app without being reminded of the heartache it caused me.

Combine everything I've talked about, from my physical and mental being, to my lack of meaningful friendships, to the negative influence that the creative world has had on me, and I think you'll come to understand a bit more about who I am, and why I work the way I do. The past week has been hard on me, with these feelings weighing down especially hard on me and putting me into a depression yet again. I haven't worked on Melatia for maybe two weeks now, and the guilt of not progressing with it makes me feel even worse. I can sit and stare at my computer for hours, but it has always ended up with half-hearted artwork that I need to remake later on for quality reasons. It's a battle. It's a battle that I'd love to be able to win someday, but as for now, please bear with me as I fight through this all.​