#sw.intro

[wretchedcnes]

⌜drew ray tanner. 31. cis man. he/him.⌟ ╱ was that MADDOX BUCHANAN i just saw wandering around lake stillwater ? you know the PLAYBOY ? odd … i never imagined they’d be back in town, especially after everything that happened last time. but i guess it makes sense, considering they've always been known for being ALLURING and AUDACIOUS. still, they you'd think they'd be more cautious—especially since they’re also quite FICKLE and CONCEITED, but then again that explains, how he charmed his landlord into letting him have a hamster despite signing a lease with a no pets allowed clause. last i heard they were working as a CROUPIER in WASHINGTON DC… i wonder if that's where they picked up that LUCKY POKER CHIP they're always carrying around. nonetheless, with whatever happened on that lake all those years ago, they'd better hope the cabin keeps them safe this time around.

stats

full name: maddox jeremiah buchanan

nickname(s): mads and mj but he refuses to say what the j stands for. he lets people believe his middle name is james

date of birth: december 4th 1993

zodiac sign: sagittarius

hometown: washington, dc

current residence: washington dc

occupation: croupier

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: bisexual

mbti: esfp

alignment: chaotic neutral

enneagram type: 8

reference characters: patrick zweig (challengers), hawkeye pierce (mash), han solo (star wars) and sally bowels (cabaret)

bio.

maddox was born the only child of an attorney and pharmacologist. his parents were absent for most of his childhood. they didn't intend to make him feel ignored. that was just an unintended but damaging consequence of the two of them prioritising their jobs over every other commitment. maddox’s mundane childhood memories involve a rotating roster of nannies

growing up maddox learned that there were two ways to get the attention he craved. his primary method of getting attention was to be the loudest and most charming person in the room. he aimed to make as many friendships as possible. as a child he spent more time eating dinner with his friends’ parents than with his own. his other method of getting attention was acting out. people couldn't ignore him when he answered back to teachers or got into fights with classmates who thought he was too obnoxious and blunt

during high school maddox's priority wasn't academics, much to the dissapointment of his parents. he couldn't focus on subjects that didn't interest him and he refused to put in more effort than he had to. when he had homework he didn't want to do he bribed or charmed one of his classmates into doing it for him. the aspect of high school that came easy to maddox was being at the top of the social ladder. his good looks and superficial charm meant he thrived socially

maddox's choice of college caused a huge disagreement with his parents. by that point he already had a wide variety of arguments with his parents so he wasn't phased of them disaproving of another one of his actions. his parents wanted him to apply to ivy league colleges or a prestigious research school. however he refused. maddox wanted to go to a college where he would meet a wider variety of people. he didn't just want to be surrounded by ambitious people from wealthy backgrounds

when he first met jamie maddox was jelaous of him. jamie was handsome and likable. he wanted jamie's leadership position. but eventually he came to accept that wasn't going to happen. jamie was too charismatic and unlike maddox he was kind and dependable

harper and maddox didn't initially get along. harper thought he was smug and maddox thought she was a stick in the mud. due to the kind of forced proximity that only comes from being in the same college social circles they did eventually grow to like each other. harper realized that maddox could be endearing when he wasn't being an annoyance. maddox learned that harper had her playful moments and wasn't entirely a stern authority figure

after jamie's death maddox cut contact with almost everyone who was at the lake when jamie died. he had no idea how to process what happened. in his brain death wasn't something that happened to young lively people like jamie. death was meant to only come for old people who had already lived out their full lives

maddox had already graduated when jamie died so it was easy to pretend his friends from college didn't exist. he was meant to start his adult life. his dad arranged for him to be an intern at his friend's law firm. maddox didn't last the full year. he found the enviroment stifling and was still failing to process his grief. after his internship fell through he managed to find a series of customer service jobs to support himself. he needed the money because his parents had cut him off. he only really stopped feeling like he was sleep walking through life when he found a job as a croupier. maddox's slight smarm is perfect for the job and he loves feeling like he outsmarted the clientele who come to the hotel casino where he works

maddox's only contact with harper before her death was through yearly birthday messages or comments on her instagram posts. he found out about her death through social media. he was surprised to be apart of the group she wanted to return to stillwater lake. he was reluctant to come but he didn't want to let her down one last time. he didn't go to jamie's funeral so he almost feels like by helping to give harper the send off she deserves he's apologizing to jamie.

wanted connections.

a friend who managed to stay in contact with him after college

a former enemy he reconciled with

grudge-a person who is still angry at him because he didn't go to jamie's funeral and they never had the opportunity to work through their frustration towards him

unresolved romantic feelings-maddox has always tried to avoid serious monogomous relationships. he hates commitment and thinks romantic relationships are destined to end badly. when he started to have romantic feelings towards this person in college he either avoided them or did everything he could to sabotage their friendship

ex-this person got maddox to break his unoffical no dating rule. they could be amicable exes or their relationship could have ended badly

former friends with benefits

former roommate

[berenicethomas]

G E T I N, L O S E R S, F O R T H E JOYRIDE

BIRTH NAME : berenice georgina thomas ALIAS / NICKNAME : bere, b AGE: 31 PLACE OF BIRTH : surrey, england NATIONALITY : british & american RESIDENCE : a studio in manhattan OCCUPATION : lawyer SEXUALITY: pansexual

BIO | PINTEREST | PLAYLIST

tl;dr

born in a world of old money and privilege, berenice has grown in a world of men, and found that she was more brilliant than all of them. manipulative and ambitious, she always found ways to turn situations to her advantage. most of the time, that meant seducing them into giving her what she wanted. born from less than ideal parents, she found that she always had to fight to gather everyone's attention. her parents a british politican and an american newscaster, britain and american both have seen her grow up. she enjoyed the attention, played them to put her best self forwards always. she moved to the states at one point to go into law school - made sure to join one school in a town where her background wouldn't make waves.

easier this way to have a bit of fun, there's way assumptions on her. a fresh market, one could say.

three years ago, she moved by home to britain and dabbled in political law. when her client got roped into a big scandal, and that her own marriage with a rugby player ended because of his involvement with another starlet, she dipped. she refused to let this mess stain her dress, and came back to the states in order to find success once more.

get to know the girl a little bit more;

she has a very distinct perfurme, the i guerlain shalimar, making sure that people can not only see her. but they can tell she's been here just by her odour alone.

jamie was a dear friend and an absolute good lay. they laughed, they had fun, they slept together more times that she could recount. at the end of the day, she still remembers he was a friend. they found each other corporally and perhaps she was a bit jealous when he moved on and got himself a girlfriend, but she was happy for him. for sure, she was. and if they continued flirting after that in dark rooms, away from pyring eyes...well, no one saw them, right? his death did affect her, but she tried to use it as a motivation to get the fuck out of minnesota as soon as she could and do her own thing.

she's always smirking, always flirting with everyone in the room sometimes it's serious, some other time it's not. who's to know? definitely not you.

everything about her exudes luxury, from her perfume to her shoes to the designer dress she's wearing. her favourite colour to wear is white. because yes, she's that presumptuous.

she has three brothers, who she considers as dumb as the other. they're mostly in politics, some in finance. she doesn't care about them because most of the inheritance came to her when their father died (yes, she did have a look at that will before his death).

she has a lot of charisma, she likes playing with people, flirting and dancing and one night stands. she is absolutely not one for commitment.

especially not since her marriage ended with her husband cheating on her (the ultimate insult). she vows to destroy everything he is, but for now, she's licking her wounds in NYC.

her first marriage, around eight years ago, ended up lasting only six months - the man had died in a car crash. berenice wasn't quite devastated. not enough.

she will absolutely tell you that your current wife/husband of 20 years is not good enough for you and you should let loose. by getting it on with her.

she enjoys art, old movies, going to clubs, winning in court, splurging, going to the races and the casino, going to the spa, getting massages, etc etc etc...

Some ideas for connections: (click the links for the song inspo!)

one bestie - that person and berenice kept contact after university and through thick and thin, managed to keep being friends. they are probably one of the two people on earth who has ever seen berenice a bit vulnerable. (0/1)

rivalry is not dead - they're rivals. they hate each other. in everything thing they did, they always tried to one up the other. berenice likes this relationship very much because it's fun and entertaining. also is there a...tension there? fun! (0/1)

with a little help from my friends (or acquaintances, colleagues, old schoolmates, etc) - they've known each other for awhile now, their interactions pleasant most of the time. berenice is a fun person to be around and she'll be your best wingwoman if you let her. (0/?)

will they won't they - listen. berenice is known for flirting with everyone and everything, nothing stops her. nothing beside that person. there's something there, a few smiles, hidden away. they might have something during university but they never acted on it. shame. (0/1)

battle of the exe(s) - to add to the list of her numerous exes! it is a privilege club, though being an ex-partner is less expensive than being an ex-husband...she knows a thing or two about divorce law. (0/?)

you broke my heart, b****h - that person probably knows way too much about berenice and berenice hates this. she dared being a bit too vulnerable with that one person but something pulled them apart. now, if berenice can ignore them forever, the better. (0/1)

friends with benefits, but without the friend part - listen, it's fun, it's easy. there's no emotions here, nothing. they're both closed off and they promised each other to stop if they ever got into any feelings. there aren't any, right? right. (0/1)

please if you have any other ideas let me know!

[remyxjameson]

silent  walks  through  the  quiet,  forgotten  places,  a  notebook  filled  with  strange  drawings  and  secrets,  an  old  camera  slung  around  his  neck  capturing  moments  others  would  ignore,  whispers  that  seem  to  follow  him  from  the  past,  and  a  fascination  with  the  unseen. 

⌜timothee chalamet. 29. cismale. he/him.⌟ ╱ was that REMY JAMESON i just saw wandering around lake stillwater ? you know the CREEP ? odd … i never imagined they’d be back in town, especially after everything that happened last time. but i guess it makes sense, considering they've always been known for being IMAGINATIVE and LOYAL. still, they you'd think they'd be more cautious—especially since they’re also quite ALOOF and APATHETIC, but then again that explains, why he doesn’t like to talk about his past, or let anyone see inside his journal. . last i heard they were working as an AUTHOR in DELUTH … i wonder if that's where they picked up that JOURNAL they're always carrying around. nonetheless, with whatever happened on that lake all those years ago, they'd better hope the cabin keeps them safe this time around. ⌟

statistics.

name: remulus remy jameson age: 29 birthdate: march 10th gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him sexuality: homosexual relationship status: single occupation: author birthplace: portland, oregon residence: deluth, minnesota hair color: brown eyes: blue, with hints of hazel around the iris tattoos & piercings: no piercings, a few tattoos that are often hidden under long sleeves and other clothing.

biography. tws: bullying mention, death mention

he doesn't talk about his home life, his life before college. if you ask him all he'll let slip is that since he was a teenager, he hasn't been seen without a camera slung around his neck, or the journal that doubles as his scrapbook. photography has always been his passion, and yet it was hard to find anything other than freelancing and even harder to work your way up to anything and so the photography stayed as a hobby. remy followed his other creative dream, one equally as hard but more in reach and became a published author just one year out of college. his first book didn't change the world or anything, but it did well enough that it secured him a five book deal with room for spin offs if necessary. his writing delving into the supernatural in a fictional world built entirely by him didn't help the label that he'd had throughout his life - the creep - a weirdo, someone not to be trusted and if anything went wrong many looked his way. he was quiet, he learned to be to stop the bullying.

remy thought college would be different, he'd find like-minded people and he'd finally have his crowd, even if it was only a handful of people. that didn't happen, and he was still teased and poked at. jamie novak stood up for remy a few times, especially in the first couple of weeks of college. with the amount of times jamie stepped in, acquaintances quickly built into an unlikely friendship. it wasn't likely many saw it, but he knew that if he needed anything he could go to jamie and even a small selection of jamie's friends. he was devastated when he heard about jamie death, wondering if things would be different if he had put himself out there more, and been with them at the lake instead of being on one of his walks to get away from the overstimulation he was feeling. he returned to panic, and jamie dead.

he latched onto one or two people to make it through the rest of his time at college without his protector there, regressing into himself more and more. harper chen saw this and tried to get remy out of his shell more. it must've taken a month, but she managed it. with her, he could be himself, without having to hide behind the camera or the walls he'd put up to protect himself, but only ever in private. he felt it was too much of a risk to show himself outside of the comforts of privacy, never knowing what the bullies may latch onto next.

they kept in touch, for the most part, and whether she was telling the truth or just hyping him up, knowing that at least harper enjoyed his books were enough for him to keep going. when the news reached him that she died, remy felt himself regress again, and if it weren't for this trip being her dying wish he wouldn't be going. he is doing it for her, but plans to keep himself to himself, refusing to let old scars of ridicule and whisperings open back up.

headcanons. tws: abuse, homophobia mention.

remy grew up in an abusive household, with parents that he would say never loved him or even truly knew what love meant. he never intended to come out to them, intending on cutting his losses and running the moment he got accepted into college but they found out in his senior year after what he thought was a date turned into a prank. pictures of him shirtless and in bed with a guy he thought actually liked him circled around the school, and eventually got back to his parents. his father beat the shit out of him, his mother just watching, and the next monday he turned up to school with a black eye and various other bruises that couldn't be seen.

college was his way out, so he took it and ran, finally thinking he could be his true self. the wounds were deep though, and with him finding it hard to trust it just didn't work out for him like that.

he lives alone in deluth, his apartment is enough for him, it's cozy and more importantly: it's a safe space. he's even managed to have one or two short-term relationships but he's always ended up needing too much reassurance, putting too much pressure on things and questioning his partners attraction to him that it scares them off.

his books are surrounded in the supernatural, the main focus being on witchcraft and ghosts, but most mainstream creatures have a part in his book. it's queer dark fantasy, with a hint of spice thrown in.

connections.

jamie novak - the protector. jamie saw remy getting bullied and within the first week of college, he was standing up for the creep. a lot of people didn't understand why, some backed jamie up. a lot of people never understood why remy was invited to stillwater, remy doesn't either. all he can assume was that jamie felt sorry for him, and wanted him to have a normal college experience

harper chen - the unlikely friend. he never thought he'd be friends with someone like harper, or have someone take the time to get to know him like she did. she managed to get remy out of his shell, and whenever he was around her he could be his true self. he wonders if that also played a part in his invite to stillwater. he wouldn't be going back, if it wasn't her dying wish.

arlo clark - missed spark. there was always something there, or at least remy thought. he assumed one sided, but tragedy struck and soon after, arlo left. remy never got the chance to see if it was reciprocated but his fear wouldn't have let him anyway, not unless arlo made the first move. arlo always backed up his protector, jamie.

camille lawson - you know my secrets. when she moved to portland, oregon - remy's home town - she befriended someone who happened to be one of his bullies. typical peaked in high school bully. they bragged about the prank played on remy, and the consequences he faced from his parents and how he came to school the next day clearly having had the shit beaten out of him by his father.

julian koenig - tough love. remy was always a little on edge around julian, because unlike jamie the way julian protected him was with tough love. he taught remy things, gave him tools to look after himself against the bullies.

dakota hartt - you were her friend. remy didn't have much luck, in high school or college, but a friend of harper's always tried so hard with him, and he always appreciated it. the connection wasn't quite like the one he felt with harper, but he could see that dakota always tried her best to include him in everything, and it never went unappreciated.

matcha attakornsiripho - sketchbook vibes. neither one of them was ever without something to draw in, he noticed that from the start. it made him feel like less of a weirdo, though of course hers went hand in hand with what she was studying so it was more expected. remy understands what having an outlet like that can do for somebody, how much it can help. he hopes she finds her muse again.

connor acosta - the stereotypical jock. it wasn't that he bullied remy, bully was too strong of a word. poked fun at, perhaps. made little comments that often sent remy spiraling, commenting on how he would rather remy not go out with them. often, remy wouldn't, thinking that he was intruding, only joining at harper or jamie's insistence. seeing connor will take him right back to high school, and college, remy regressing into himself drastically.

tba.

wanted connections.

he knew me by heart - remy was extremely close with one other person in the group, someone he actually felt he could trust. the trust took time to build, but the click was instantly there. they both knew that it was, and neither of them could fight it if they wanted to. they were there for each other in every single way, emotionally, physically, sexually. remy loved him, and he was sure that he was loved back even if it was never spoken aloud. after college, things got more difficult but they never fell out of touch, always supporting one another. will things rekindle in the wake of yet another tragedy? - has to be male, remy is homosexual.

[svgarblush]

⌜imada  mio.   twenty  nine.   cis  woman.   she/her.⌟   ╱   was   that   MICHELLE  'MIKI'   AIKAWA   i   just   saw   wandering   around   lake   stillwater   ?   you   know   the   AIRHEAD   ?   odd   …   i   never   imagined   they’d   be   back   in   town,   especially   after   everything   that   happened   last   time.   but   i   guess   it   makes   sense,   considering   they've   always   been   known   for   being   VIBRANT   and   CAREFREE.   still,   they   you'd   think   they'd   be   more   cautious—especially   since   they’re   also   quite   EMOTIONAL   and   NAIVE,   but   then   again   that   explains,   why  she  speaks  6  languages.   last   i   heard   they   were   working   as   an   TRAVEL  VLOGGER   in   LOMBOK,  INDONESIA   …   i   wonder   if   that's   where   they   picked   up   that   BUTTERFLY  HAIR  PIN   they're   always   carrying   around.   nonetheless,   with   whatever   happened   on   that   lake   all   those   years   ago,   they'd   better   hope   the   cabin   keeps   them   safe   this   time   around. 

B A S I C S .

birth  name  : aikawa seina ( michelle )

nickname(s)  : miki

date  of  birth  : 10/01/95

age  : 29

gender  : cis  woman

pronouns  : she/her

sexuality  : pansexual

relationship  status  : single

birthplace  : osaka, japan

previously : lombok, indonesia

languages  : japanese,  english,  korean,  thai,  spanish,  and  french

religion  : was  raised  catholic,  currently  agnostic

education  : one class shy of receiving her bachelors in communication

occupation  : travel agent ( formerly ), travel vlogger ( currently )

H E A L T H .

preferred  hand  :  left

blood  type  :  ab-

allergies  :  pollen,  tree  nuts,  and  chocolate

physical  :  in  surprisingly  good  shape  for  someone  who  rarely  works  out.

mental  :  undiagnosed  anxiety

social  :  extremely  social,  so  much  so  that  she  never  learned  the  meaning  of  stranger  danger

P E R S O N A L I T Y .

libra  sun.  enfp  (campaigner),  phlegmatic,  patience,  envy,  hufflepuff,  chaotic  good,  6w5  (the  guardian)

positive  traits  : vibrant,  carefree,  sociable,  compassionate

neutral  traits  : open  minded,  talkative

negative  traits  : emotional,  naive,  absentminded,  clumsy

habits  : biting  her  nails  when  she's  nervous

likes  : the  color  yellow,  swimming,  shopping,  early  morning  walks,  trying  new  foods,  dragon  flies,  ramen,  docuseries,  energy  drinks,  and  apple  pie

dislikes  : pineapple  flavored  candy,  wearing  socks,  waking  up  before  noon,  moths,  tight  spaces,  and  hiking

fears  : rodents  of  any  kind,  premature  death

skeleton  :  the  airhead

tropes  : brainless  beauty,  hidden  depth,  daddy's  girl

inspiration  : cher  horowitz  (  clueless  ),  jackie  burkhardt  (  that  70s  show  ),  karen  smith  (  mean  girls  )

A P P E A R A N C E .

faceclaim  : mio  imada

face  : heart  shaped  with  soft,  defined  cheekbones  and  almond-shaped,  expressive  dark  eyes

hair  : sleek  black  hair,  with  curtain  bangs  framing  her  face

body  : slender  and  petite,  surprising  perfect  posture

style  : denim  overalls  2  sizes  too  big,  colorful  jewelry,  scuffed  sneakers,  sleeveless  shirts,  each  fingernail  painted  a  different  color,  BELTS

misc  :  multiple  ear  piercings  in  a  mix  of  hoops  and  studs,  often  mismatched;  nose  piercing  and  sparkles  tattoo  on  her  forearm,  flower  boquet  on  her  bikini  line

H E A D C A N O N S .

unprepared  packing  :  true  to  her  nature,  miki  is  always  unprepared  for  the  practicalities  of  life,  and  it  shows  in  her  packing.  when  she  returned  to  stillwater,  her  suitcase  was  packed  with  sundresses,  shorts,  and  light  jackets  ...  completely  unsuitable  for  the  town���s  unexpectedly  chilly  climate  and  impending  snow  storm. 

post  it  notes  everywhere  :  miki’s  organization  system  could  best  be  described  as  “organized  chaos.”  she’s  a  fan  of  sticky  notes,  using  them  to  remind  herself  of  everything  from  mundane  tasks  like  “call  dad”  to  more  personal  reminders  like  “buy  bread”  or  “look  up  volcanoes  in  costa  rica.”  however,  to  anyone  that's  not  her,  the  system  is  a  disaster.  post  its  are  scattered  across  her  hostel—on  the  fridge,  her  phone  case,  the  bathroom  mirror,  and  even  in  her  shoes.  she  often  forgets  where  she  put  them,  which  leads  to  her  asking  herself  at  least  three  times  a  day,  “where  did  i  put  that  note?”

trinkets  :  her  travels  have  resulted  in  a  growing  collection  of  random  trinkets  that  she  keeps  in  her  suitcase  or  mails  home  to  her  dad. 

selective  memory  :  miki  has  a  curious  knack  for  remembering  the  most  bizarre,  seemingly  insignificant  details.  she  can  recall  the  name  of  a  stray  dog  she  met  in  greece  five  years  ago  (  ares,  in  case  you’re  wondering  ),  but  she’ll  completely  forget  something  crucial,  like  if  she  left  her  flat  iron  on  or  someone’s  birthday.  but,  it’s  not  intentional;  it’s  just  how  her  brain  works. 

accidental  cult  marriage  :  miki  has  lived  what  feels  like  a  million  lives,  each  one  wilder  than  the  last.  one  of  the  strangest  chapters?  her  brief,  23  day  marriage  to  a  cult  leader  in  brazil.  it  all  started  when  she  was  trying  to  practice  her  spanish  in  a  small  coastal  town,  mistakenly  thinking  the  locals  were  speaking  it,  only  to  realize  much  too  late  that  they  were  speaking  portuguese.  long  story  short:  after  a  very  confusing  ceremony  and  a  bunch  of  chants  she  couldn’t  understand,  she  found  herself  legally  married  to  a  stranger. 

tardiness  :  miki  is  perpetually  running  late,  not  because  she  doesn’t  care  but  because  she  underestimates  how  long  everything  takes.  her  friends  have  learned  to  tell  her  events  start  30  minutes  earlier  than  they  actually  do. 

the  polaroid  :  though  she  often  appears  carefree  and  spontaneous,  she’s  deeply  sentimental  about  certain  things.  she  always  has  two  things  with  her  ...  the  stuffed  rabbit  her  father  gave  her  when  she  was  a  child,  that  now  sits  on  the  corner  of  her  bed  and  a  faded  polaroid  of  herself  and  her  friends  from  their  last  trip  to  stillwater  together  before  everything  changed,  tucked  safely  in  her  wallet.

B I O G R A P H Y .

early life

michelle  aikawa  had  always  been  told  she  was  too  much  …  too  loud,  too  emotional,  too  full  of  life.  but  the  truth  was,  miki  simply  felt  everything  deeply,  whether  it  was  joy,  sorrow,  excitement,  or  fear.  she  didn’t  do  anything  halfway,  and  the  world  felt  more  vibrant  because  of  it.

born  in  japan  to  high  school  sweethearts,  miki  was  the  embodiment  of  the  love  her  parents  once  shared. 

her  early  years  were  filled  with  warmth,  laughter,  and  the  kind  of  unconditional  love  that  made  her  feel  like  the  center  of  their  universe.  life  was  simple  and  sweet,  and  nothing  ever  seemed  out  of  reach  in  the  safety  of  her  family’s  home.

but  that  perfect  world  came  crashing  down  shortly  after  miki's  12th  birthday,  when  her  mother,  who  had  always  seemed  so  devoted,  shattered  their  world  by  having  an  affair  and  walking  out  on  their  family. 

the  betrayal  was  devastating,  and  miki  was  was  forced  to  leave  behind  everything  she’d  known  in  japan  to  move  to  chicago  with  her  father.

adjusting  to  a  new  life  wasn’t  easy.  the  new  country,  the  new  language,  the  new  reality—everything  was  different. 

the  two  of  them  tried  to  pick  up  the  pieces  of  their  broken  lives.  her  father  worked  tirelessly  to  make  sure  miki  had  everything  she  needed,  even  as  they  both  silently  struggled  with  the  weight  of  what  had  been  lost.

at  18,  miki  was  accepted  into  the  university  of  minnesota,  where  she  chose  to  study  communication.  it  was  here  that  she  met  jamie  novak  and  harper,  two  people  who  would  change  the  course  of  her  life  in  unexpected  ways.

college

miki’s  time  at  UMN  started  exactly  how  she’d  hoped—bright,  busy,  and  full  of  possibility.  she  threw  herself  into  every  opportunity,  from  joining  clubs  to  befriending  just  about  everyone  she  met.  her  infectious  energy  and  knack  for  turning  even  the  dullest  situations  into  a  good  time  made  her  the  type  of  girl  everyone  wanted  to  be  around. 

during  rush  week,  miki  met  harper,  the  kind  of  girl  she  always  dreamed  of  being—graceful,  effortlessly  sweet,  and  adored  by  everyone.  miki  admired  her  from  the  start,  and  by  the  time  they  became  sorority  sisters,  she  was  practically  glued  to  harper’s  side.   

and  then  there  was  jamie  novak.  he  was  one  of  the  first  people  she  made  at  college,  and  her  first  real  crush  as  well,  however,  while  jamie  never  outright  rejected  her,  he  had  a  way  of  gently  steering  her  back  to  reality.   it  was  never  going  to  happen.

the  trip  to  stillwater  is  still  a  blur  in  miki's  mind.  good  times  shattered  one  hazy  afternoon  at  the  lake.   at  first,  miki  didn’t  understand  what  was  happening.  she  squinted  out  at  the  water,  trying  to  make  sense  of  the  commotion  as  people  ran  to  the  shore.  but  it  never  quite  hit  her  …  that  was  jamie,  her  friend,  floating  lifelessly,  face  down  in  the  lake.

the  years  after  that  trip  passed  in  a  haze.  miki  went  through  the  motions  of  college  life,  but  the  spark  that  had  once  defined  her  seemed  dimmer.  she  still  smiled,  still  laughed,  but  the  edges  of  her  personality  were  dulled,  like  she  was  always  a  little  out  of  sync  with  the  world  around  her.

by  her  senior  year,  miki  realized  her  heart  wasn't  in  it  anymore.  she’d  made  it  through  almost  four  years  of  college,  but  when  it  came  time  to  finish  her  final  class,  she  couldn’t  bring  herself  to  do  it.  dropping  out  felt  like  failure,  but  miki  told  herself  it  was  just  one  class.  just  one  more  thing  she’d  figure  out  later.  and  so,  she  left  college  behind. 

recently

after  leaving  college,  miki  drifted  back  to  chicago,  hoping  the  familiarity  of  home  might  help  her  find  her  footing.  she  landed  a  job  as  a  travel  agent.  at  first,  the  job  was  exciting,  planning  dream  vacations  and  helping  clients  map  out  their  adventures.  but  the  novelty  wore  off  quickly.  and  she  found  herself  stuck  behind  a  desk,  staring  at  itineraries  for  trips  she’d  never  take,  longing  for  something  more.

one  day,  after  yet  another  dreary  afternoon  at  the  office,  she  decided  she’d  had  enough.  she  packed  a  bag,  emptied  her  savings  account,  and  booked  a  one way  ticket  to  europe.  it  wasn’t  running  away,  she  told  herself ... it  was  finally  running  toward  something.

that  impulsive  leap  turned  out  to  be  the  best  decision  of  her  life.  miki  started  documenting  her  travels  on  a  whim,  sharing  videos  and  photos  of  her  adventures  online.  what  began  as  a  way  to  keep  her  dad  updated  on  her  life  quickly  snowballed  into  something  bigger.  her  infectious  energy  and  unpolished  charm  resonated  with  people,  and  before  she  knew  it,  she’d  built  a  loyal  following  as  a  travel  vlogger.

her  days  soon  days  became  a  whirlwind  of  exotic  destinations  and  thrilling  experiences.  she  wandered  through  bustling  markets  in  marrakech,  hiked  the  cliffs  of  santorini,  and  sipped  wine  in  the  rolling  vineyards  of  tuscany.  for  the  first  time  since  that  summer  in  stillwater,  she  felt  like  herself  again—free,  unburdened,  and  alive.

years  passed  in  a  blur  of  new  cities  and  stamped  passports.  miki  hadn’t  set  foot  in  the  u.s.  since  she’d  left,  preferring  the  freedom  of  the  road  to  the  weight  of  old  memories. 

but  everything  changed  when  she  got  the  call  about  harper.  the  news  hit  her  like  a  punch  to  the  gut ... her  first  friend,  the  girl  who  had  been  her  sister,  was  gone.

for  the  first  time  in  years,  miki  felt  the  pull  of  home.  to  her  former  friends, to stillwater.  the  place  where  her  life  had  taken  its  sharpest  turn. 

she  booked  a  flight  back,  her  heart  heavy  with  the  knowledge  that  she  was  returning  to  say  goodbye  to  harper and  to  a  chapter  of  her  life  she’d  never  truly  closed.

C O N N E C T I O N S .

the  unrequited  crush  –  jamie  novak  :  jamie  was  one  of  those  friends  who  just  seemed  to  get  miki  on  a  level  that  no  one  else  did.  they  had  this  easy,  effortless  friendship,  built  on  inside  jokes,  mutual  respect,  and  shared  interests.  but  somewhere  along  the  way,  miki  started  to  develop  feelings  for  him.  it  wasn’t  anything  major  at  first,  just  a  little  crush  that  grew  over  time,  something  she  thought  she  could  handle.  but  when  she  finally  worked  up  the  courage  to  subtly  confess  her  feelings,  jamie  gently  but  firmly  shot  her  down. 

sorority  sister  –  harper  chen  :  miki  and  harper  started  as  sorority  sisters,  both  rushing  the  same  year  and  getting  paired  with  the  same  big.  they  bonded  over  their  shared  experience  of  surviving  the  wildness  of  sorority  life  and  became  fast  friends.  after  graduation,  they  promised  to  stay  close,  but  as  time  went  on,  they  drifted  apart.  harper  seemed  to  become  more  focused  on  her  career,  while  miki’s  travel  bug  kept  her  bouncing  around  the  world,  living  in  a  constant  state  of  flux. 

the  ex-best  friend  –  camille lawson  :  the  two  used  to  be  inseparable,  sharing  everything  from  secrets  to  dreams  of  the  future.  they  were  once  miki’s  closest  confidante,  her  rock  during  the  ups  and  downs  of  life  …  until  one  fateful  falling  out.  a  fight  over  something  trivial  at  first;  miscommunication,  hurt  feelings,  or  maybe  jealousy,  led  to  a  crack  in  their  friendship  that  neither  could  mend.  they  haven't  spoken  in  years. 

past  roommate  –  isa morgan  :  they  started  living  together  during  their  freshman  year.  however,  what  started  as  a  mere  convenience  turned  into  a  relationship  that  lasted  for  three  years.  they  stuck  it  out  until  their  junior  year  when  miki  moved  into  her  sorority  house,  mostly  because  they  had  no  real  desire  to  rock  the  boat,  even  though  their  personalities  couldn't  have  been  more  different. 

long  distance  friend  –  connor acosta  :  after  graduation,  miki  wanted  nothing  more  than  to  disappear,  however,  for  some  odd  reason  they  kept  in  touch.  they  started  exchanging  postcards  and  sporadic  life  updates—little  messages  about  the  people  they  were  meeting,  and  the  random  observations  they  had  about  life.  over  the  years,  their  correspondence  continued,  despite  the  miles  and  time  zones  between  them.  the  postcards  would  sometimes  arrive  months  apart,  filled  with  cryptic  notes  or  funny  anecdotes,  but  they  never  failed  to  brighten  miki’s  day. 

ride  or  die  –  dakota  hartt  :  miki  met  them  during  freshman  year  in  the  most  quintessentially  miki  way  possible:  by  accidentally  stumbling  upon  them  buying  weed.  she  didn’t  see  it  as  a  sketchy  encounter;  no,  she  thought  it  was  the  coolest  thing  ever.  from  that  day  on,  she  decided  they  were  her  person,  and  they’ve  been  thick  as  thieves  ever  since.  whether  it’s  sneaking  into  parties,  pulling  all  nighters,  or  making  impulsive  decisions,  miki  knows  they’ve  always  got  her  back.

platonic  soulmate  –  arlo  clark  :  there  was  a  time  when  miki  and  them  were  inseparable,  practically  two  halves  of  the  same  chaotic  coin.  from  wild  adventures  to  quiet  nights  venting  about  life,  they  were  always  together.  things  shifted  after  miki  dropped  out,  life  pulling  them  in  different  directions,  but  they’re  still  the  first  person  she  calls  when  everything  falls  apart.  no  matter  the  distance  or  time,  miki  knows  they’ll  always  pick  up  the  phone.

will  they,  won’t  they  –  bowie  bhatt  :  their  friendship  was  intense,  the  kind  that  always  felt  like  it  was  teetering  on  the  edge  of  something  more.  the  chemistry  was  undeniable,  and  there  were  moments  when  it  seemed  like  they  might  take  the  leap.  but  just  as  things  started  to  shift,  miki  dropped  out  and  disappeared.  now,  with  miki  back  in  stillwater,  it’s  like  nothing  has  changed,  still  waiting  to  see  if  they’ll  finally  cross  that  line.

friend’s  ex  –  julian  koeing  :  miki  always  thought  they  were  a  little  odd,  but  in  a  way  she  found  endearing.  they  were  never  particularly  close—mostly  because  they  dated  one  of  miki’s  friends—but  she  always  liked  them.  even  now,  there’s  a  strange  sort  of  fondness  there,  a  quiet  understanding  that’s  hard  to  explain.

one  time  thing  –   jacob  williams  :it  was  one  of  those  fleeting,  heat  of  the  moment  things.  they’d  been  friends,  sharing  easy  banter  and  a  few  too  many  drinks,  and  one  night,  it  just  happened.  but  it  was  never  meant  to  be  anything  more.  they  never  spoke  about  it  again,  both  quietly  agreeing  to  leave  it  in  the  past  and  keep  things  as  they  were.

on  again  /  off  again  -  open  :  her first  real  love.  the  two  have  broken  up  and  gotten  back  together  more  times  than  they  can  count,  and  each  break up  is  more  painful  than  the  one  before  it. whenever  they're  apart  it  drives  her  crazy  but  whenever  they're  together  she's  reminded  of  how  bad  they  are  for  each  other.  potential  victims  of  right  person,  wrong  time.

[gr0tesques]

⌜aaron taylor-johnson.  30.  cis man.  he/him.⌟  ╱  was  that  JULIAN KOENIG  i  just  saw  wandering  around  lake  stillwater  ?  you  know  the  RED HERRING?  odd  …  i  never  imagined  they’d  be  back  in  town,  especially  after  everything  that  happened  last  time.  but  i  guess  it  makes  sense,  considering  they've  always  been  known  for  being  INTUITIVE and  RESOURCEFUL.  still,   you'd  think  they'd  be  more  cautious—especially  since  they’re  also  quite  VOLATILE  and  NIHILISTIC,  but  then  again  that  explains,  he was a chess champion in high school.  last  i  heard  they  were  working  as  a/an  UNEMPLOYED in  PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA…  i  wonder  if  that's  where  they  picked  up  that  SMALL BOOK OF CROSSWORD PUZZLES  they're  always  carrying  around.  nonetheless,  with  whatever  happened  on  that  lake  all  those  years  ago,  they'd  better  hope  the  cabin  keeps  them  safe  this  time  around. 

full name: julian adriel koenig (pronounced kay-nig; he once had a little outburst at the bank after the teller mispronounced his name lol) nickname: jules date of birth & age: november 12, 1994 ( 30 years old ) place of birth: palo alto, california zodiac sign: scorpio gender & pronouns: cis man, he / him sexual orientation: bisexual occupation: software engineer / currently unemployed 3 positive traits: intuitive, resourceful, quick-witted 3 negative traits: volatile, nihilistic, vindictive family: dan koenig ( father ), nina roth ( mother ), eleanore koenig ( twin sister)

BACKGROUND

tw: mention of drugs, hospitalization, mental illness.

julian, along with his twin sister, was born in palo alto, california. his father, dan koenig, was a software engineer for apple while his mother, nina roth, was a former hollywood a-lister who was known for being a scream queen in the 80s and 90s. she retired from the limelight when the twins were born and opted to start a health and wellness business (in a similar font as gwyneth paltrow's goop).

very smart kid. like, mensa-level smart. however his parents didn't want him to get in over his head so he still went to a regular, albeit private school. adversely, because he knew he was smarter than everybody else, this sort of gave him a superiority complex and made it difficult for him to get along with other kids.

his best friend growing up was his twin sister, whom he affectionately called ellie (though, to everybody else, she was nora). while they were inseparable, they were also almost complete opposites. ellie was a lot more likable and sociable and often brought julian with her to gatherings and events, much to julian's (and ellie's friends) disdain.

julian was pretty much a carbon copy of his father and was admittedly much closer to him than he was to his mother. nina wasn't as motherly as she made herself out to be in her interviews with entertainment tonight and people magazine and, in fact, missed the spotlight and the glamor that came with her previous life much more than she'd care to admit. dan, however, preferred to keep a quieter, simpler life. that, and his tendency to be married more to his work than to his wife led to their divorce when the twins were in their sophomore year of high school. julian chose to stay with his dad in palo alto, which meant that ellie did, too.

his then-boyfriend got him into adderall and coke in their junior year to stay awake and alert and busy busy busy. these habits worsened in college, especially when he didn't get into stanford (shocker!) which was the one school he applied for as he was so confident he would get in, but apart from his grades and a 1450 SAT score, nothing really made him stand out. with no other backups, his mother pulled some strings at her alma mater in her hometown in minnesota (where she was a regular donor) which was where he and his sister ended up going to.

majored in computer engineering in college where he met jamie novak. jamie was the first friend he made and was one of the very few people he liked hanging out with.

he dated harper chen in their freshman year and broke up mid-sophomore year due to julian's substance abuse and the fact that he just wasn't making enough time for her. however, they remained good friends after.

jamie and julian had a big fight when julian found out that jamie and eleanore hooked up while jamie was dating isa. julian knew how his sister felt about jamie and was afraid that jamie was only playing with eleanore's feelings and confronted him about it, threatening to tell isa if he didn't leave his sister alone. jamie, however, counter-threatened that if he did that, he would tell everyone about julian's own dirty little secret, which was that julian was sleeping with one of his (married) professors, who had introduced him to ketamine to manage his high levels of anxiety. both of them decided to call it a stalemate and wouldn't speak for a couple of months.

that is, until eleanore told julian that jamie and a bunch of other people were going down to stillwater to celebrate the end of the final exams and that he should try to talk to jamie and make up. hesitant at first, julian ended up making the trip and arrived on the last day for the sole purpose of talking to jamie and nothing else. julian found jamie at his cabin where they talked, but to this day julian wouldn't tell anyone, not even his sister, what they talked about. some heard yelling, some saw jamie storming out of the cabin with julian coming out minutes later heading the other direction. later that night, jamie would meet his tragic demise at the lake.

julian was a lot more withdrawn after that, reverting to his old high school ways of keeping to himself, and kept very few people in his circle, which included his sister and harper. he suffered a public nervous breakdown on campus on his last semester where he was a very strong candidate for summa cum laude and end up dropping out. his father brought him back to california where he entered rehab for the first time, returning twice more for the next couple of years.

his father insisted he stay close, so he got a place of his own in palo alto while working as a freelance software engineer, primarily in cyber security. he hasn't been in contact with anyone from college in the past eight years, except of course for harper, who sometimes comes to visit him. he was four months unemployed and two weeks on his third stay in rehab when he received news of harper's untimely passing. opting out of the program early, he traveled back to minnesota to honor harper's last wish and confront old, haunted memories.

OTHER INFO

obsessed with doing crossword puzzles and always keeps a small pocket-sized collection with him at all times.

loves watching movies, which was one of the very few things he got from his mother. he particularly enjoys the horror-slasher ones as well as the lynchian or cronenbergian variety but also appreciates sci-fi and drama.

he was hospitalized in his sophomore year of high school after staying awake for 72 hours straight and consuming mostly energy drinks while reviewing for the SATs, hoping to get early admission to stanford. he was discharged from the hospital the same day as his exam and took it anyway despite remembering almost nothing of what he'd studied, and ended up with a low score. he retook the SATs again the following year and got a 1450.

played chess competitively in high school and has even played in international invitational tournaments.

his dating history isn't very long nor complicated. his first relationship was with dustin wells on his junior year of high school, who gave him his first taste of drugs since his brother was a dealer. the relationship ended not with a bang, but with a fizzle right before they graduated, the reason simply being that dustin was going to attend college abroad and neither thought they were going to make it long-distance. only his sister knew about dustin. his next relationship was with harper chen in their freshman year of college, ending amicably early in their sophomore year. then, very briefly, there was kayla simon, a phd student and beauty queen whom julian met at a lab in LA where she was an intern and he was doing an ocular on their security system. they dated for five months before breaking up when kayla became a finalist for miss universe. and then, finally, noah kelley, a visual artist whom julian met at an art show. they've been together for four years and currently have put their relationship 'on pause' after julian rejected noah's proposal.

while julian is aloof, he is by no means shy—he can get very loud and opinionated when it comes to matters he cares passionately about like tech and current events, often in a condescending manner.

while most people see him as cold and uncaring, he can also be very sweet, mostly towards his inner inner circle and he's not typically into physical touch unless it's with people he's super comfortable with, like ellie and harper.

his appearance has changed almost drastically from when people last saw him in high school. those who knew him then might not recognize him so easily; they might remember him as a well-groomed and baby-faced kid but he's a lot more unkempt nowadays, with unruly curls and a thick stubble. he's also sporting cuts on his face after getting into a fight with another patient at rehab before leaving for stillwater.

what was once a bright-eyed and hopeful young man has now turned into a pessimistic, nihilistic shell of the kid he used to be. untrusting of those around him and paranoid to a fault, he might even resort to lying and distorting the truth—often to a point where he no longer knows what to believe in—as a means of survival and protecting those he cares about, most especially his sister.

CONNECTIONS

jamie novak , first college friend. like many others, jamie introduced julian to his friend group, though often found himself still not quite fitting in, but they were people, at least, that julian still thought about from time to time and made college feel a little bit less like a distant lonely planet. in his sophomore year, julian found out about jamie hooking up with nora, his twin sister, and threatened to tell isa, jamie's girlfriend about it but jamie was holding on to a secret of julian's himself. both boys cut each other off from their lives until the night of jamie's death at stillwater lake.

harper chen , ex-girlfriend. harper and julian remained good friends even after the breakup, constantly keeping in touch years after college up until harper's death.

nora koenig , twin. other half. lifeline. the one person who has ever really known julian, the real julian.

isa morgan , math tutee. julian tutored isa twice a week for an hour and a half after classes as a favor to jamie, both realizing they had a lot more in common than originally thought and striking a weird, albeit brief friendship. lost touch after jamie's death and especially after college.

willa hoffman , harper's roommate. julian struck a vague form of acquaintanceship with willa for harper's sake. julian felt a sense of protectiveness over the girl, mostly because he thought she was an invertebrate who couldn't stand up for herself for being so spineless.

[comicsan5]

⌜kentaro sakaguchi.  thirty.  cis male.  he/him.⌟  ╱  was  that LEON ARATA  i  just  saw  wandering  around  lake  stillwater  ?  you  know  the  COMIC RELIEF ?  odd  …  i  never  imagined  they’d  be  back  in  town,  especially  after  everything  that  happened  last  time.  but  i  guess  it  makes  sense,  considering  they've  always  been  known  for  being  CHARISMATIC  and  FEARLESS.  still,  they  you'd  think  they'd  be  more  cautious—especially  since  they’re  also  quite  RECKLESS  and  INSENSITIVE,  but  then  again  that  explains, why he was expelled from the University of Minnesota his junior year after stealing the mascot costume, painting it hot pink, and dressing it up in lingerie.  last  i  heard  they  were  working  as  an  INDEPENDENT FILMMAKER  in  CHICAGO…  i  wonder  if  that's  where  they  picked  up  that  MINI CAMCORDER  they're  always  carrying  around.  nonetheless,  with  whatever  happened  on  that  lake  all  those  years  ago,  they'd  better  hope  the  cabin  keeps  them  safe  this  time  around. ◜positive◝ generous, social, lively, quick-witted, loyal, adaptable, optimistic, playful ◟negative◞ attention-seeking, avoidant, overbearing, impulsive, lackadaisical, chaotic, oblivious ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⭒ BIO ⭒ MUSINGS ⭒ CONNECTIONS ⭒ HCS ⭒

[stillwaterfm]

we're  thrilled  to  announce  that  we  are  officially  open  for  ooc  interactions  !  the  follow  list  should  be  live  and  all  discord  links  sent  :)  ...  our  plotting  period,  also  known  as  ‘development  week,’  will  run  for  about  5  days.  during  this  time,  members  are  encouraged  to  post  their  introductions  using  #sw.intro,  start  plotting  with  each  other,  and  share  ask  box  links  to  participate  in  memes  that  will  further  develop  their  muses.  if  you  have  any  questions  or  run  into  any  issues,  don’t  hesitate  to  reach  out.  and  to  any  lurkers—there  are  still  5  skeletons  available,  so  come  take  a  look.  we’d  love  to  have  you! 

[mcclaines-blog]

yooo ! it’s me lo again omfg ( i also play chloe / kat mcnamara which i posted a brief intro on her a while ago here ! ) anywayssss here’s a bit abt thomas :) 

he’s an orphan. he lost his parents at a very young age, or at least it’s what he’s been told since he doesn’t remember them at all. he was soon taken under the wing of the irish mafia’s boss, who pretty much raised him like his own child so he’s got lot of respect for him. the real story is that his father was an enemy to them and got killed as a part of the process. so did his mom, and since thomas was just a little baby he was taken pity of and therefore raised as a part of the family. ( i literally just came up w that kick my ass ) 

he started working for the mafia as a teenager, since it was pretty much all he knew in life? so it’s safe to say he’s been in the business for a looooong time. 

he arrived in seattle about ten years ago, and he was assigned to secure it there / take care of their charter there. so pretty much whenever someone from the mafia comes there, whether they have to do business, vacations or both, thomas is the one who helps them get around. so lets say they have a job there, and it’s a real important one, he will himself show them everything so it all goes perfect and no mistakes are made, so to speak ??? 

he can be p laid back @ times but don’t be fooled bc 10/10 its just a way he’s testing / analyzing you lmfao. he can be very polite too but that doesn’t exactly mean he is being genuinely nice ?? he definitely has a bit of a temper too, though. when he wanna say it like it is he def doesnt hold back omfg !! he’s great at making business with people but is known to have no mercy when they cross him, tbh ??? he’s def loyal to the irish mafia tbh 

he’s got a wife ( our emilia clarke fc ) whom he loves n respects dearly ! tho the whole mafia thing gets in the way sometimes since obvs its dangerous ??? but he sees her as his partner in crime tbh so he def trusts her a lot ! 

he does cocaine, too. 10/10 breaking the whole ‘ don’t get high on your own supply ’  rule lmfaooo. 

uhm thats abt it for now ???? hmu if u wanna plot or like this & i shall come to u ! 

[wretchedcnes]

⌜ncuti gatwa. 29. cis man. he/him.⌟ ╱ was that CARTER NOVAK i just saw wandering around lake stillwater ? you know the OUTCAST ? odd … i never imagined they’d be back in town, especially after everything that happened last time. but i guess it makes sense, considering they've always been known for being OBSERVANT and CONSIDERATE. still, they you'd think they'd be more cautious—especially since they’re also quite RECLUSIVE and MISANTHROPIC, but then again that explains, why he changed his major in college from fine art to psychology. last i heard they were working as a GRIEF COUNSELOR in ST PAUL, MINNESOTA … i wonder if that's where they picked up that MP3 PLAYER HE'S HAD SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. I they're always carrying around. nonetheless, with whatever happened on that lake all those years ago, they'd better hope the cabin keeps them safe this time around.

stats.

full name: carter michael novak

nickname(s): his name is two syllables, in his opinion he doesn't need one

date of birth: february 28th 1995

zodiac sign: pisces

hometown: chicago, illinois

current residence: saint paul, minnesota

occupation: grief counselor

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: bisexual

mbti: infp

alignment: neutral good

enneagram type: 4

reference characters: jane lane (daria), brigitte fitzgerald (ginger snaps), zeke figuero (the get down) and allison reynolds (the breakfast club)

bio.

as a child carter's parents often said the phrase "sorry, he's just shy." as a way to explain his aloof and off-putting behavior. it wasn't true. carter wasn't afraid to introduce himself or try to make friends. he just preferred to spend time by himself, making up stories. it was one of the many ways he was different from jamie. even as a child jamie captured people's attention and was the leader of his group of friends. growing up it was impossible for carter to avoid hearing about all the ways he was different from jamie. every parent-teacher conference his teachers would tell his parents that he was quieter than jamie or more artistic than jamie

carter stopped caring about people's opinion of him early on because everyone based their opinions of him in comparison to jamie. nobody ever thought of him as his own individual person. this disregard of people's opinion of him was one of the reasons he wasn't bullied as a child despite being a loner with a love of all things strange. the other reason was of course jamie and his friends would fight anyone who dared tease him

the comparisons to jamie continued into high school. how carter felt about this depended on his mood. depending on the day carter loathed being in jamie's shadow, loved having the opportunity to surprise people or simply accepted it as a fact of life. the fact carter had complicated feelings about being jamie's brother meant that when they were teens their relationship was strained at times. their relationship improved around carter's senior year of high school. by that point it had been two years since jamie had attented that school and carter was known as one of the loner alt kids who submitted angsty poetry to the school newspaper and drew eyes at the back of class rather than as jamie's little brother

originally carter was reluctant to apply to uom. he had already spent 18 years living in jamie's shadow he didn't want to continue living there. but jamie was persuasive. he convinced carter to look into the courses offered and carter fell in love with the fine arts programme. during the first semester he pointedly ignored jamie but he realised it was exhausting being that petty. for the most part the brothers ran in different social circles but carter did eventually meet some of jamie's friends and intergrated himself slightly into jamie's large social circle.

carter was devastated by jamie's death. his older brother had been a giant presence looming over him his entire life it was difficult to figure out how to continue without him. after jamie's death carter disconected from most of jamie's close friends. some of them found it difficult to interact with him and he found it difficult to manage his own grief and the grief of those around him.

he attempted to isolate himself but harper wouldn't let him. she was too caring and persistent to let him retreat into himself. she became a valuable source of support. eventually carter returned the favor and became a confidant to harper as well. he excelled at being her confidant because one of his skills is knowing when it's appropriate to be judgemental and when situations call for him to listen without passing judgement on other people

in sophomore year carter changed his major to psychology. he wanted to overcome his grief by understanding it. he also had a newly found desire to go into a field that meant he could support others

after graduation carter made the decision to stay in saint paul. he couldn't face returning to chicago. saint paul seemed like the perfect place to start his adult life. he loved the arts scene and how easy it is to be anoymous. for the past three years he's been working full time as a child bereavement counsellor. he feels accomplished knowing he helps kids work through one of the most difficult feelings he's ever had to experience. he unwinds after work by journaling and going to small local gigs.

wanted connections.

friend he kept in contact with after graduation

a close friend in college he didn't have a huge fall out with but did drift apart from

a person he wasn't close with in college (maybe even outright disliked) he was polite to because they were friends with jamie and after jamie died he had no idea how to interact with them

a person he was angry at in the immediate aftermath of jamie's death because they cut contact with. he thought his anger mellowed out but now he's in close contact with them the unresolved anger is back

former roommate

ex something-carter and this person never dated. dating wasn't somsething he prioritised back in college because he had a lot on his plate. this would be somebody he had mutual feelings for but they never quite crossed the line and there was a lot left unsaid