#take that hat off i stf

[ourpaladin]

imma need you to change Immediately

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Spreading Wings Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 展翼之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

It is very important to read his birthday R&S before this!

[ This was released on 24 July 2021 ]

[ PROLOGUE ]

While heading home after work, I receive a call from Eli.

I’m guessing there’s information regarding the matter I asked of him from before.

MC: Hello? Captain Eli? Since you suddenly called, does this mean there’s a solution to what I asked about the other time?

Eli: That’s right. I personally made a trip to the municipal administration last week and retrieved the item for you. I’ve already asked City Express to send it over to you.

MC: That’s great! Thanks, Captain Eli!

Eli: It’s no problem. Although it took a little effort, it was retrieved eventually.

MC: I really have to thank Captain Eli. This item is pretty important to me, so you’ve helped me out big time.

Eli: Ah, it’s nothing. Oh yes, the STF is leaving tonight. Gavin just left the bureau and should be heading towards your place now. I shan’t disturb the both of you. I’ll hang up now. Watch out for the delivery.

MC: Mm, I’ve got it. I’ve troubled Captain Eli this time. When our TV station has a matchmaking show in the future, I’ll definitely recommend you!

I hang up. Sure enough, I receive a parcel from the STF not long after reaching home.

Tearing open the packaging, I see a dark coloured square box with the municipal administration’s logo engraved on it.

After removing the cover, a badge sits quietly among the flannel.

A cold light glints on the surface of the coiled design. The flag and peace dove clearly declare the rules of justice and protection.

It silently conveys a certain dignity that can make one hold their breath.

During an awards ceremony organised by the municipal government a few months ago, Gavin wasn’t able to attend in person. As a result, they didn’t manage to give him an honorary badge.

Although the municipal administration made several calls, the STF has been busy with missions, and Gavin hasn’t had the time to collect it.

This matter is something which I’ve always kept in my heart.

I feel that this honour, which represents an “acknowledgement”, shouldn’t be treated so flippantly and hastily.

Hence, while preparing for Gavin’s birthday, I asked Eli way in advance to retrieve this from the municipal administration using the name of STF.

This is an “acknowledgement” which belongs to him, and I wish to hand it to him personally.

All of a sudden, there are knocks at the door. Knowing that the person outside is Gavin, I quickly hide the badge and the box into a cupboard before opening the door.

Then, the person outside wraps me in a full embrace. His scent overtakes my senses.

MC: Are you leaving tonight?

Gavin responds with a “mm”. After nuzzling his head gently in the crook of my neck, he releases his hold on me.

In the short span of half a minute, he seems to have already derived all the strength he needs, and the light in his eyes is very bright.

MC: There’s no need to worry about me, but you have to take care of your safety.

Gavin: I’ll do my best to rush back. Don't worry.

The both of us speak at the same time. Gavin can’t help but laugh. Taking my hand, he pulls me outside.

Gavin: Let’s go and have dinner. We’ll eat outside today.

MC: Okay!

-

Walking along the street, I look at Gavin’s calm and resolute figure. Recalling the badge which is sitting quietly at home, I secretly purse my lips into a smile.

This year, my birthday plan is a secret which Gavin doesn’t know about. I’m looking forward to the day the secret is revealed, along with his reactions.

[ DATE ]

The faraway snow-capped mountains are reminiscent of a fog coloured outline. They stand at the end of the horizon, faraway and reticent.

On a road not too far from the border, I disembark from the car, standing underneath a street sign while staring ahead.

Approximately half a month ago, Gavin was sent to this city for a mission. Today is the day he wraps up the mission.

It’s also his birthday.

At this moment, my phone rings. I answer it quickly.

Eli: MC, have you reached the location I gave you?

MC: Mm, I’ve reached. Captain Eli, when will you guys be dismissed?

Eli: We’ve already been dismissed and are heading your way. Just stay where you are, and you’ll definitely cross paths with Gavin. Don’t worry.

MC: That’s great. I’ll thank Captain Eli in advance then~

After hanging up, I tap open my memo and verify its contents once more.

MC: The aviation park, guesthouse, cake, and presents. Mm, no problem at all!

I turn my phone off, thinking about how aside from celebrating Gavin’s birthday, I’m also shouldering a very “heavy responsibility”.

Since Gavin wasn’t personally present for the awards ceremony conducted by the municipal government, there’s a medal which has yet to be given to him.

After learning about this piece of news not too long ago, I’ve remembered it in my heart, and specially asked Eli to retrieve this medal from the municipal government in the name of STF.

With a really huge and hidden personal motive, I wish to personally hand this important honour to Gavin on this most special day.

The sudden chirping of birds pulls my train of thought back to reality.

I look at the time. It’s still very early, and the first glimmer of light has just appeared in the sky.

After waiting for a while longer, I spot a group of uniformed men appearing at the end of the road. My heart, which had been dangling in the air, immediately settles.

The person leading the group is wearing a combat uniform. Strands of brown hair curl up in the breeze, and he currently has his head turned towards a squad mate behind him as he says something.

Although they appear to have experienced a fierce battle, the atmosphere is very light-hearted.

Looks like this mission successfully reached its end.

Likely sensing my gaze, he suddenly turns his head, staring afar off towards my direction.

After he getting a clear view of my figure, those amber eyes suddenly freeze. The strands atop his head curl up in a silly manner, as though he doesn’t know how to react.

The early morning mist has not yet dissipated. The world is enveloped in a tender and pale greenish blue, and the chirping of birds occasionally grows faint and near.

The whirring of a helicopter drifts from overhead as it circles in the sky. It’s the aircraft which is here to send them back.

Seeing that Gavin is slightly at a loss, I can’t help but chuckle, waving at him.

Gavin immediately walks over to me, his pace much faster than before. The squad mates follow behind him in a leisurely manner, not planning to disrupt this early morning meeting.

Gavin stands in front of me. He sweeps a glance over my white denim jacket, his gaze a little astonished.

MC: How is it? Does it look good?

Gavin nods, responding in a straightforward manner.

Gavin: Looks good.

MC: I specially prepared a matching set~

While speaking, I pass him the bag in my hands. Gavin receives it and takes a look. With a chuckle, he puts on the exact same jacket deftly. 

Although it’s just a simple white demin jacket, it makes him look refreshed and cool.

The early morning mist dyes his eyes, giving them a tender coolness. When his eyes meet mine, they instantly melt into a warm gaze.

At this point, Eli and other squad mates walk over as well. A rope ladder descends from the helicopter, and Eli arches a brow at us.

Eli: This rascal was so anxious to see you that he almost flew back to Loveland City directly. This is good. He doesn't have to fly now.

He pats Gavin on the shoulder.

Eli: Captain Gavin, enjoy your birthday vacation. We brothers will head off first.

One by one, they climb up the rope ladder and board the helicopter. Tang Chao whistles, and he’s grabbed through the hatch by Eli.

Gavin doesn’t bother about them. He removes his half finger gloves, revealing his dry yet soft finger pads. He entwines all ten fingers with mine.

He lifts his eyes to look at me, and they are filled with an insuppressible brightness. He asks a question that he clearly knows the answer to.

Gavin: Why did you come here?

The helicopter circles into the distance, accompanied by a deafening roar. I grin while bringing my left hand to my mouth, curving it into the shape of a trumpet.

MC: It’s clearly to... wish you a happy birthday!

-

The public bus brings us to the entrance of a park in the outskirts of the city. I pull Gavin off the bus, and we stand at the entrance of the park together.

Turning my head, I scrape Gavin’s palm.

MC: May I know if Mr Birthday Boy is ready to spend a day of surprises with me?

The hand that’s intertwined with Gavin’s moves forward decisively. The smile in his voice is unambiguously clear.

Gavin: Of course.

When I was planning the birthday route a few days ago, I unintentionally chanced upon information pertaining to this park.

As compared to other parks, there doesn’t seem to be anything special about this aviation park.

It’s just another slow-paced venue to relax in within the city. It has a pond which can’t be considered large, and a few willow trees grow along it.

Magazines are displayed on the counter of a small stall, and a child is standing on his tiptoes, selecting a popsicle from the freezer beside it.

If I had to mention the biggest difference, it would be that this park was transformed from an airbase.

In order to remember that it was once an airbase, there’s a white statute of an aircraft in the middle of the park.

Similarly, in order to be in line with the theme of “aviation”, all the shops in the park display miniature aircraft models.

Akin to colourful birds, they carry a yearning for the unconstrained sky.

Perhaps due to it being the summer vacation, a teacher has brought children to visit this ex-airbase.

The children wear yellow hats while chattering away. They surround the aircraft models, debating on which one looks the best.

Gavin and I walk along the shade of trees unhurriedly. When passing by the aircraft statue, he suddenly asks me a question.

Gavin: Did you bring me here because this used to be an airbase?

His gaze flits past the aircraft statue, then pauses on my face.

I nod in acknowledgement.

MC: I heard that this used to be one of the first airbases. In the past, many aircrafts were studied here. It’s a place with lots of commemorative value, and bears the weight of the years when people headed into the sky. Since I’m celebrating your birthday in this city, I felt that I should pick a location which is slightly more special. Otherwise, it wouldn’t leave much of an impression when we recollect it in the future.

Gavin chuckles, then reaches out to pinch my face.

Gavin: Seeing you appear early in the morning while dismissing the squad was already enough to leave a deep impression on me.

I laugh in embarrassment, then continue the earlier topic.

MC: But the airbase is only half of the reason.

I pause, my sentence ending on an upward lilt.

MC: There’s another half.

Gavin arches his brows, as though wondering what other surprises I could have hidden in this small park.

Tugging on his hand, we turn into a small path on the left, a confident smile on my face.

MC: Come with me.

The small path extends forward, and the sound of our footsteps mingles with the rustling of leaves.

After making a turn, everything becomes clear.

Before us, there’s a spacious and empty patch of land. Green grass grows wildly, covering the runway which was once used for aircrafts.

The wreckage of a plane remains on the ground, the rust on its body akin to a brown coloured decorative pattern.

Everything reveals the creases of time, but certain lingering aspirations can still be felt from it.

Gavin: Is this the other half of the reason?

He looks at me, his brows arched slightly.

MC: This was the original location of the airbase. I heard that this abandoned plane used to have the most excellent workmanship. I felt that if you knew about such a place, you’d want to take a look. Also, this is quite a nice place for a hidden scenery~

Gavin suddenly reaches out to brush dust off the body of the aircraft, revealing a series of numbers.

Gavin: Y2251. This used to be an air freighter.

Gavin pauses for a moment. As though he grasped at a fragment from his memories, his eyelashes stir gently in slight disbelief.

Gavin: A very long time ago, I made an aircraft model. This was the aircraft I referenced and modelled it after.

MC: ?!

I’m stunned for half a second. When I see myself in Gavin’s calm and composed eyes, I can’t help but chuckle.

MC: I suddenly feel as though this world might actually operate in a circle. We might move and turn around, but there will come a day when we become part of the circle.

Gavin responds with a “mm”. He gazes fixedly at the set of numbers, as though patching up fragments of memories bit by bit.

Gavin: I used it to participate in a competition and won a prize. Back then, the officer who gave out the award came from this base.

MC: What kind of a competition was it?

Gavin: An aeromodelling competition. The prize was a small aviator badge.

We walk past the propeller of the aircraft wreckage with very light footsteps.

In my mind, a face even younger than the one right now surfaces before my eyes, along with a pair of clear amber eyes.

MC: Wow, that sounds really incredible!

I suddenly see the introductory plate next to the plane, which has a picture of how it formally looked like.

Smooth contours, blue wings, floating cloud patterns on its tail... just like a beautiful flying bird.

MC: How pretty. When you referenced this plane, did you make an exact replica?

Gavin nods. He looks at the plate, his gaze very serious.

Gavin: It was more or less the same as this.

He hesitates slightly, then adds on.

Gavin: Erm... it didn’t look as good. But it was very practical and could fly.

He gestures with his hands, pointing towards a faraway ginkgo tree.

Gavin: Around here to over there - the distance of half a field.

We walk over to that ginkgo tree. Its leaves are luxuriant as it stands next to the side gate of the park.

Since it’s summer, the leaves are lush and green.

A swing is swaying gently and quietly under the tree, and a few ginkgo leaves have fallen onto the wooden seat.

Tugging Gavin over to the swing, we continue our earlier conversation.

MC: We probably walked around 500 metres to get here. An aircraft model which is able to fly 500 metres is so incredible! You must have really liked it in the past in order to do such an amazing job.

Gavin holds the rope of the swing. He nods after hearing this, and his voice is certain.

Gavin: I did like it very much.

Seeing from my expression that I’m about to burst from curiosity, he can’t help but chuckle before going along with me and speaking.

Gavin: Back then, I bought many atlases related to planes. While studying them slowly, I conducted test flights too. I spent almost half of my summer vacation on this. Although the process was very fulfilling, there were times when I faced setbacks. Once, I got into a huff and tossed all the spare parts into my drawer and went to bed. 

MC: What happened next?

A nostalgic smile flashes in Gavin’s eyes.

Gavin: I couldn’t fall asleep, so I got up and took all of them out of the drawer. I fumbled around and managed to construct the extending and retracting mechanism of the wings. The next day, I slept till late in the afternoon... My mom didn’t wake me up.

MC: Pfft.

I can almost envision a youth who is sound asleep under the covers, a prototype plane laying quietly on the table.

A breeze enters through the curtains. It’s tender and light-hearted.

MC: Looks like it really isn’t easy to construct an aircraft model successfully.

I’m a little awed.

MC: I remember when we were doing handicrafts in school, the teacher would always say that the final step is to engrave our names as a marker. If I were you, I’d definitely paint my own name at the most conspicuous spot, and tell everyone how incredible I am.

Gavin gives this some thought before he shakes his head.

Gavin: I didn’t engrave my name back then. It was on the small aviator badge, but it got lost after I sent it to my father’s squad.

The way he says this so naturally causes my slightly flinched expression to reveal complicated emotions.

Gavin: Now that I think about it, it wasn’t anything special.

He chuckles, his tone as light as a breeze.

Gavin: They’re all in the past.

He narrates this calmly, as though these memories have long since been shut behind a dusty door.

I think of a 14 year old Gavin. I think of that aircraft model he made personally. I think of the past he had to experience...

A sense of discontent rises from my heart, and I wish to smoothen these regrets.

I stand up, and Gavin lifts his head towards me in slight puzzlement.

Gavin: What’s wrong?

MC: How could we not eat popsicles in a park during summer? I saw a stall selling popsicles earlier. I’ll buy two sticks.

Gavin nods. Just as he’s about to stand up and follow me, I press him back onto the swing.

MC: I’ll buy it. You can just wait for me here.

Gavin arches his brows slightly as he looks at me. As though seeing through my thoughts, he nods.

MC: What flavour do you want?

Gavin: I’ll go with whatever you like.

I nod. Just as I prepare to leave, someone grips my fingers.

I turn around to see that Gavin is looking at me.

Gavin: Be safe.

After a pause, he continues.

Gavin: I’ll be waiting for you here.

MC: Mm, I’ve got it.

I nod, giving him a smile.

-

I’m standing at a shop near the entrance of the park. Numerous aircraft models of various styles are displayed on the counter.

However, I instantly spot one particular style exhibited in the middle. With its white body and blue wings, it looks exactly like the plane in the original picture from earlier.

When the boss sees me staring at it, he enthusiastically introduces it to me from the side.

Boss: This is a bestseller from our shop. It’s a replica of the plane in the park, built in a 1:400 ratio. This is the only piece left today.

Without hesitation, I purchase it.

Even before waiting for the boss to package it in a box, I pick up the miniature plane and store it into my bag. Then, I quickly jog into the park.

When I hurriedly weave through the crowd and make a turn at the small path, I suddenly halt in my footsteps when I spot Gavin.

He’s sitting on the swing in the park, sunlight from the summer afternoon filtering through the crevices of leaves and descending on him in specks.

A few ginkgo leaves have fallen, scattering at his feet. A few bellflowers are suddenly blown by the wind, releasing a clear and rippling sound.

Gavin watches the bellflowers quietly, and all his sharpness has been retracted.

In an instant, along with the descending ginkgo leaves, I think I see the youth who is encased and hidden by layers of solid armour.

It’s as though he has found a wound which has yet to heal completely but was forgotten with time. When he faces that scar, he waits in quiet solitude.

Akin to an instinctive reaction, I sprint towards him and take his hand.

The moment Gavin lifts his head and looks at me, I see brilliant rays lighting up his eyes.

It seems that he has grown accustomed to waiting. But this time, the person he’s waiting for has arrived as planned.

MC: Sorry, I had to queue for a long time to get the popsicles.

Gavin shakes his head, his brows arched into a smile.

Gavin: It wasn’t very long.

I stretch out my hand, waving the two popsicle sticks in my hand.

MC: Here. The other flavours were sold out, so there’s only lychee left. Give it a try.

Gavin takes one stick. I sit beside him and take a bite of the popsicle, the clear and sweet taste spreading from the tip of my tongue.

I turn my head and ask Gavin a question.

MC: Why aren’t you asking me about what gifts I prepared for you this year?

Gavin: If I said that your appearance here is already the best gift, you definitely wouldn’t be satisfied with this response.

He pauses, his tone bringing with it an unhurried upward lilt.

Gavin: So... what did you prepare for me this year?

Heading out of the park via the side gate, we make a turn at a sloping path. In front, there’s a pretty large lake.

The source of water from this lake comes from the faraway snow-capped mountains. Since there aren’t many tourists, the water in the lake is clean and pure blue.

This patch of blue is reminiscent of a gigantic jewel. It’s deep and tender, adding radiance and beauty to the snow-capped mountain, as though extending to the horizon.

There’s a tranquil guesthouse next to the lake. Gavin and I push open the gate of the courtyard together.

There’s a gigantic tree in the courtyard. July happens to be its flowering season, and the tree is layered with cloud-like petals.

I guide Gavin to the second storey. After lifting the portiere made of colourful cloth, a meticulously decorated room appears before our eyes.

Sprigs of a blossoming plant have been inserted into a vase, and a simple and unsophisticated wind chime hangs by the window.

A birthday cake stored in a transparent box is displayed on the table, and there’s a blue ribbon on it which has been tied into a bow.

Ever since we entered, I've been secretly observing Gavin’s reaction, wanting to know if he fancies such a surprise.

He doesn’t say anything. He simply looks at everything quietly, as though he doesn’t want to miss out on anything.

Then, he walks over to the window, fiddling with the wind chime gently. He sits at the edge of the window casually, and stretches out his hand towards me.

Understanding this immediately, I walk over, placing my hand in his unfurled palm. Sunlight from outside the window envelops this square inch world, and it is tender and tranquil.

Gavin: A very long time ago, somebody told me that I can’t be unhappy on my birthday. 

Gavin: Because this day doesn’t just belong to me. It also belongs to everyone who loves me, and the people who have prepared and looked forward to this day for a very long time. 

Gavin: Celebrating my birthday with you for the fourth time, I think I truly understand the meaning in those words.

He lifts his eyes, looking at me quietly.

Gavin: I’m very happy. Not because it’s my birthday, but because there’s someone who wishes for me to be happy.

The wind chime that I hung up at the window jingles, akin to a song with an unknown melody.

I had prepared many, many things that I wanted to tell him at this moment. But right now, I swallow these words back.

MC: The person who told you that must have been looking forward to this day very much, just like me. Looking forward to giving you well wishes, and looking forward to you being happy because of the surprises I prepared.

I wink.

MC: Since the atmosphere is just right, it’s time to unwrap your gift.

Very carefully, I retrieve the miniature plane that I purchased earlier from my bag, handing it to Gavin under his watchful gaze.

MC: This aircraft model is a belated gift from MC to 14 year old Gavin. I hope he remembers to engrave his name on it when he receives the gift.

Gavin brushes the body of the plane with a finger pad. He suddenly releases a muffled chuckle, then reaches out to draw me into his arms.

His voice enters my ear, mingling with the rustling of leaves outside the window. It’s very soft, and very close by.

Gavin: If 14 year old Gavin received this gift, he’d have definitely remembered to say thank you on that day.

I wrap my arms around his waist, feeling our overlapping breaths in this moment. After a long time passes, I speak up.

MC: Each time I celebrated my birthday when I was small, I always loved to make many wishes. 

MC: Thinking back, many of those wishes were really childish and even greedy. 

MC: After growing up, I experienced many regrets, and faced many situations where I had to compromise and give up. 

MC: Gradually, my birthday wishes became smaller and simpler. It’s as if I no longer had the same courage as before. 

MC: But you’re different. No matter what I want, you’ve always been willing to fulfil them all. 

MC: You made me realise that if I’m properly loved by someone, my wishes can be fulfilled no matter how childish they are.

MC: So no matter what Little Gav’s wishes are, I want to fulfil them for him.

Gavin embraces me, and he doesn’t say anything for a long time.

I pat him on the back gently, chuckling as I continue speaking.

MC: Okay, since Little Gav’s present has already been received, it’s time for yours.

I leave from Gavin’s arms, reaching out to cover his eyes. His eyelashes flutter in my palm, and it’s ticklish.

MC: You’re not allowed to open your eyes in secret.

With the greatest of care, I retrieve the honorary badge belonging to the Commander of STF from my breast pocket, putting it in front of his chest personally.

Gavin doesn’t open his eyes. Rays of sunlight outline his face and figure, immersing his entire self in brightness.

Sunlight lands on the badge, and the golden rays reflected off it give a brief summary of the storms and severe winters in this person’s past.

MC: You didn’t participate in the awards ceremony the previous time, so this medal couldn’t be passed to you. Now, I can finally hand it to its owner.

I observe how it looks on Gavin’s chest, and my voice is very soft.

MC: This is also the most important gift of today.

Gavin: The most important gift?

The entire room is filled with a tender glow. Lifting my head, I meet Gavin’s quiet gaze as he stares at me.

MC: Because I’m a witness to every single reason that resulted in you obtaining it.

I’ve personally witnessed how he has used his own body to block off all sorts of dangers, and can clearly remember how many injuries he has sustained.

But he also experiences pain. When he doesn’t sleep for several days and nights, he also gets fatigued.

It’s only today that I vaguely surmise that the reason why he never mentions anything is because since a very long time ago, he learnt that he shouldn’t anticipate any reciprocation from others.

That aviation badge which was forgotten in a corner had once sustained the weight of a youth’s pure gaze.

Afterwards, it was covered by a thick layer of dust. Nobody held it with a heart filled with anticipation ever again. Just like that, it vanished into the depths of time.

Later on, the youth grew up and decided on a correct flight path. He stepped on dark shadows, walking on the path of justice.

He saved so many people, but the only thing he didn’t know how to do was to allow himself to receive a little reciprocation.

Fortunately, I can now stand before him and take his hand. I can tell him that he has done very well, and that he’s the Gavin I like the most.

I wish to give him the most resolute response.

MC: Gavin, you’re worthy of all the honour. You’re worthy of all the recognition. I... am extremely convinced about this.

After hearing this, Gavin blinks slowly. He lifts his hand and touches the badge on his chest.

I lean forward slightly to take his hand. Looking directly into his eyes, I recite the words that I’ve drafted multiple times in my mind.

MC: There’s someone I’ve known for a really long time.

MC: I’ve seen his valiant and heroic side, and have also seen his fierce and decisive side.

MC: He always doesn’t care about how many injuries he sustains, but gets anxious and blames himself whenever I get hurt.

MC: He has brought me to see many magnificent sights, and enabled me to appreciate many stories that I wouldn’t have been able to experience on my own.

MC: He has handed his gentlest side to me without holding anything back. But he doesn’t ask for me to reciprocate in any way.

MC: I wish to keep looking at him like this.

And I also wish to... have him forever and ever.

A breeze from outside the window brings with it a floral fragrance. I watch as Gavin stares at me without blinking, his gaze blooming with tenderness.

Gavin: MC, I remember everything that we’ve experienced together. These experiences are so wonderful, and they’ve filled this space.

He points at his heart.

Gavin: Because this space is full, I can continue to walk on the path that I want to with resoluteness, and do the things that I want.

He pauses, his tone wilful.

Gavin: I’ve decided on today’s wish.

He draws closer to me, and I'm able to catch a whiff of his breath.

Gavin: MC, you are the one who gave 14 year old me a gift. You are also the one who grabbed the hands of both Gavin from the past and the Gavin of right now.

Gavin: You’re the person I was waiting for.

Gavin: So your wishes are also my wishes.

Gavin: From now onwards, keep looking at me. 

A floral fragrance fills the room. I stare into his bright eyes, as feel as though I’m embracing the warmth of an entire midsummer.

✈️ Epilogue: here

✈️ Video call: here

✈️ Phone call: here

✈️ Moments and Text: here

✈️ Support the cafe by dropping by the tip jar!

[ekedolphin]

39 Days to Go

San Francisco, CA Monday, December 14, 2009 11:30 a.m. PDT

When “The Lion” John Grant had woken up this morning—just like he’d done every previous morning since making his tape—he’d immediately logged into his computer and checked his e-mail.  He’d created a new e-mail account for wrestling business only, kept separate from the e-mail address where friends keep in touch with him, professors send him assignments, and various corporations hawk the miracles of their penis-enlargement pills and easy ways to make $100,000 for working four hours a week.

The last few days, he’d received nothing, but he’d expected that.  He’d only approved the final cut of his introduction tape on Wednesday, after all; and video editor Harry Jaffee had done the rest—making seventeen copies of the master disc and overnighting them via FedEx to the organizations John had specified.  John certainly hadn’t anticipated that any of them would get back to him on the same day they received his video.

But today when he’d logged in, he’d gotten a reply from one of the administrators of the World Wrestling Alliance, saying not only that they’d received his video, but that they were offering him a pre-show tryout match on their January 22 edition of WWA: Underground, live from The Arena in Philadelphia, PA.  Taking a look at the WWA’s schedule, since he knew the company was relaunching on the 15th, he replied with an e-mail saying that not only would he be there in the best shape of his life, but with the company’s permission he’d be happy to sit backstage during the Hammerstein Ballroom show on the 15th as well, to meet some of his future co-workers, build relationships, and learn what he could from them.

Barring that, he didn’t mention in the e-mail, he’d simply buy a ticket to the inaugural event himself and sit in the crowd.  He didn’t even need to sit in the front row and announce his presence or anything.  He may be trying out for the company, and he may be the son of a wrestling legend, but he didn’t feel any desire to call undue attention to himself on a show in which he wasn’t even wrestling.  He wanted the crowd’s focus to be where it should be: on the performers inside the ring.

As for John, at this moment he was exercising on the ringside mat in the Inferno Wrestling Academy, jumping rope, dressed in white workout clothes.  The unusually cold weather San Francisco was experiencing had not let up from two days ago, but John had jogged two miles here from home just like he had every day for the past month.  And when it was time for class, he usually arrived there via public transit; he really only used his car for other, out-of-the-way activities like going out on dates, participating in wrestling events, and that sort of thing.

After spending half an hour jumping rope, John works on the treadmill for an hour, and then lifts weights, completing his workout by getting some time in with a kickboxing bag while trainer Joe Ernest holds it for him.  By the time he’d done that for twenty minutes, the Academy was bustling with activity, from camera crews setting up to record guys cutting promos, to guys working on the various exercise equipment, to other people merely standing around and chatting.

“Hey, John,” says a familiar voice from behind him, and John turns around with a start, having been so focused on what he was doing that he hadn’t even realized how many people were in here.  Let alone that his uncle, “The Tiger” Brian Grant, had arrived.

“Uncle Brian,” John says, clasping his hand and sharing a manly one-armed hug with him.  At 5’10”, Brian was a head shorter than his 6’3” nephew, who in turn was overshadowed (both physically and in terms of reputation) by his 6’9” father Steve, the “Blue Inferno”, who’d won more championships than John had ever [i]heard[/i] of.  But John didn’t have nearly the brute strength that his father had had during his wrestling career, which was one of many reasons that the 18-year-old had emulated his uncle Brian’s style far more than Steve’s.  Brian had practically no brute force whatsoever in his approach to wrestling; he was very much a high-flying light-heavyweight, through and through.

As John greets his uncle, he notices that Brian was accompanied by someone else.  And how could he [i]not[/i] notice it?  The man in question, standing easily seven feet tall and weighing, by a conservative estimate, 285 pounds, was a bald, black, wall of muscle, clearly a current or former bodybuilder.  And he’s looking at John with the cool, yet intense confidence of someone who believed in his ability to beat the living hell out of anyone he came across.  John wouldn’t doubt that in a moment.

“John,” Brian says by way of introduction, “this gentleman here is Jamal Richards.”

“Jamal,” John says in acknowledgement, extending his hand for a handshake.  After a brief moment, Jamal accepts the handshake.  Firm grip; no surprise there.

“He’s 32 years old, a former U.S. Navy SEAL, a four-year All-American linebacker at Florida State University and member of their 1999 National Championship team as a senior; and he played three years in the NFL as a member of the Dallas Cowboys.  He graduated from the Inferno Wrestling Academy in ‘05, and competes in the heavyweight division of the National Wrestling Organization of Japan, where he currently holds their Television Championship.  

“I brought him here today as your opponent.”

John looks at Jamal, his expression becoming more and more incredulous as Brian runs down the resumé of this impressive specimen.  Finally, John says, “You can’t be serious.”  And immediately he curses himself for saying that; he knew Brian would jump all over him for that.

If anything, John’s reaction made Jamal look even more smug than he already was.  And Brian did, indeed, take John to task for saying that.

“I’ve been accused of a number of things, John, but I’m pretty sure ‘being a comedian’ isn’t one of them.  You’ve sparred with myself, your father, Nick, Barry, and Antonio long enough.  You’re starting to get used to it.  But now you’ve been accepted by the World Wrestling Alliance; you’re gonna face all kinds of different opponents.  You think Steve didn’t face guys of all shapes and sizes on his way to five NEW World Heavyweight Championships?”

“Unless you want to prove that your graduating this Academy was a joke, and your father went easy on you,” Jamal adds.

[i]That[/i] did it.  “Hey, I’ll take on [i]any[/i]body, [i]any[/i]time,” John says, staring up at Jamal as his face begins to match the intensity of his much larger, far more accomplished opponent.

“Sounds good to me,” Brian says.  “As it so happens, I’m wearing my referee hat today, so Jamal, get stretched up, and let’s get this show on the road.”

“I’m ready right now,” Jamal replies, glaring down at John.  Brian simply shrugs, and John adjusts his wristbands, preparing himself for the fight of his life.

“Oh, and by the way—just so I can see what both of you are [i]really[/i] made of—this match will be a no-disqualifications match,” Brian adds.  “So this is no time to be lacking confidence, John.”

Gazing once more at the chiseled physique of his opponent, who seemed to be smiling even wider than when John had first expressed his doubts, the young man simply says, “You’ve got [i]that[/i] right.”

[b]Twenty minutes later…[/b]

If someone had spoken to John twenty-five minutes ago, he wouldn’t have believed that person when told that twenty-five minutes later, he’d actually be in a position to win this match.  In fact, the first seven minutes of the match had gone extremely badly for John, as he’d taken power move after power move from Jamal, everything from a three powerbombs to a spinebuster to a gorilla press sidewalk slam.

But when Jamal had made the mistake of going to the outside to grab a metal folding chair and lifting John to his feet with the intention of whipping him off the ropes and hitting a drop toe-hold onto the chair, John had flown back off the ropes with a flying forearm, taking Jamal down to his back.  Quickly grabbing the chair, John had waited until Jamal got to his feet, and then practically fused the chair into the former Navy SEAL’s skull, not even bothering to fold the chair back up before doing so.  The satisfying sound of metal striking bone had sent an “OOOOOH!” throughout all of those watching at the Academy.

The match had gone much better for John after that.  Focusing his attacks on the right knee of the larger man, beating him down with punches, kicks and chair shots, he’d been able to keep Jamal from putting too much weight on it for the rest of the contest.  Throw in a figure-four leglock, an STF, and even—thanks to a sudden burst of strength—a Fisherman suplex—and Jamal’s knee was pretty thoroughly savaged.

Just a moment ago, John had hit a Russian legsweep, bringing Jamal down again, in the center of the ring.  Now he stood perched up on the top turnbuckle, where—showing his respect to a legend of yore by flashing the “I Love You” sign—he jumps off and connects with a Superfly Splash.  He didn’t get quite the same elevation on it as he had in his recent match against Antonio Mason, but when Brian’s hand went down for the three-count, and Jamal wasn’t able to kick out, “The Lion” John Grant had won the contest.

A great cheer came up from the assembled wrestlers and technicians as Brian raises John’s hand in victory, and a chant of “JOHNNY!  JOHNNY!  JOHNNY!” started—which John noticed had actually been started by fellow ’09 Academy graduate Barry Andrews.  When they’d started out in the Academy together, the 25-year-old former hockey player had called John “Spoon Boy” after the alleged silver spoon John had been born with in his mouth, but just like with Violet, as they’d persevered together, they’d become close friends.

Well…

Barry wasn’t exactly as close a friend to John as Violet was.

Speaking of his girlfriend, John didn’t see her in the crowd today, much to his disappointment.  At least he knew that the match, just like the one with Antonio, had been thoroughly and professionally taped by the Academy’s camera crew.

As Jamal lifts himself to his feet, politely shrugging off John’s offer of assistance, he can see the grudging admiration in the eyes of his defeated opponent.  After a moment, Jamal offers his hand, and John cautiously takes it.

“Great match,” Jamal says, and John nods in agreement.  “Game for a rematch sometime?”

“You bet,” John replies, and the two of them share a manly hug.

[b]Ten minutes later…[/b]

John stood ringside with the Academy’s resident interviewer, Alex Yost, who’d been one of the many people in attendance during the impromptu match.  Actually, he’d shown up right as the contest was about to get underway, which had made John wonder if Alex had some kind of sixth sense for these sorts of things.  He wasn’t dressed in his usual suit, however—he wore a black T-shirt and blue jeans.

“John Grant, a word with you, please.  Going into this match fellow former Academy graduate Jamal Richards, you were most definitely the underdog.  Given no preparation time beforehand, how did you triumph today against the current Television Champion of the National Wrestling Organization of Japan?”

Shaking his head slightly in disbelief, John says, “Well, to be honest with you, Alex—early on, I thought I was pretty thoroughly screwed.  Richards clearly had me very well-scouted, and it seemed I couldn’t do anything right for the first seven, eight minutes of the match.  But he got a little cocky going for that chair; he couldn’t leave well enough alone, and that was pretty obviously the turning point of the match.”

“We just got word today that you have earned a tryout match in the World Wrestling Alliance for their second WWA: Underground show on January 22.  On the pre-show, you’ll take on Kid Cool and Willy Murdoch in a triangle match.  Do you have anything to say to your upcoming opponents?”

“Yeah, I do,” John says, giving a half-smile before continuing.  “This is my one and only try-out match for the WWA, and I intend to make the most out of it.  Kid Cool, Willy Murdoch, I’ve got 39 days until it’s time to step into a WWA ring, and start making a name for myself as one of the hottest up-and-coming young superstars in the business.  And if you think I’m going to spend those 39 days relaxing at the beach and playing video games, you obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with.

“I’m gonna train hard, I’m gonna study videotape, and I’m gonna battle the best that the Academy can throw at me.  I will continue developing my style, learning what works and improving upon—or discarding—what doesn’t work.  And when the time comes for me to step through that curtain, you’d better understand that I’ve got nothing to lose by going all-out and bringing the fight right to you.  It may be a match on the pre-show, but I’m gonna treat it like a pay-per-view main event, and I’ll be out there to put on one hell of a show for the fans, and to come away with a resounding victory that’ll make the WWA establishment come tripping over themselves to sign me.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Alex, I’ve got more work to do.  The match’ll be here before you know it.”

As John walks off-camera, Alex says, “Of course.  ‘The Lion’ John Grant, everyone.  He made a statement tonight with his outstanding match and victory over Jamal Richards; and in 39 days he’ll compete in a three-way match for a chance to earn a WWA contract.”

[womenofcolor15]

Young, GRAY & Fabulous! Celebs Let Their Silver Strands Flourish While In Quarantine

The wisdom strands are out! Celebrities are showing off their gray strands while on lockdown and it’s quite refreshing to see. See flicks of Tia Mowry, DJ Khaled, Tracee Ellis Ross and more inside…

  It feels like we’ve been on lockdown forever ever. And it’s starting to show.

Celebrities are letting their gray hair grow out! We’re all in quarantine, which means, no glam, no nothing.

Well, celebs are giving fans a sneak peek at their naturalness and it’s quite refreshing to see them without all the glitz and glamour. If you didn’t know, gray hair is considered a sign of wisdom and spiritual maturity, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. Since celebs aren't working right now, they're letting their silver stands shine through.

        View this post on Instagram

                  It’s been me and my #fro as of late. #natural #hair #curlyhair #nofilter #nomakeup #me

A post shared by TiaMowry (@tiamowry) on Apr 15, 2020 at 7:04am PDT

  Actress/chef Tia Mowry Hardrict - who recently did the big shop - showed off her salt-n-pepper afro and fresh face.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Hello grays. No getting my hair done during #socialdistancing, and I’m okay with it!

A post shared by tameramowrytwo (@tameramowrytwo) on Mar 21, 2020 at 1:54pm PDT

  Tia's twin sister/"The Real" co-host Tamera Mowry-Housley has embraced her gray hair.

          View this post on Instagram

                  My boys ! THANK YOU GOD ! @asahdkhaled @aalamkhaled

A post shared by DJ KHALED (@djkhaled) on Apr 12, 2020 at 12:24pm PDT

  DJ Khaled showed off his gray strands while spending time with his sons.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Yeah the gray is coming in and I have made a helicopter out of my head!

A post shared by Tracee Ellis Ross (@traceeellisross) on Apr 11, 2020 at 9:43pm PDT

  "black-ish" star Tracee Ellis Ross gave fans a sneak peek at her silver strands peeking out.

          View this post on Instagram

                  I got stories for days P.S I have always had a shit load of grey hair...I was just a frequent dyer ...I’m not working right now so I said FUCK IT

A post shared by Kevin Hart (@kevinhart4real) on Mar 20, 2020 at 9:41am PDT

  Comedian/actor Kevin Hart - who's gearing up to welcome baby #4 - said he's not working so he isn't worried about dying his hair and beard.

          View this post on Instagram

                  We need to get to the facts! Coronavirus is hitting our community hard. This is a STATE OF EMERGENCY!!! Tune into @REVOLTTV at 11PM EST or stream live on YOUTUBE.COM/REVOLTTV PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!!

A post shared by Diddy (@diddy) on Apr 9, 2020 at 5:29pm PDT

  During a COVID-19 message to his fans, Diddy showed off his salt-n-pepper beard and hair.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Who else lettin’ their beard grow out?!

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Mar 23, 2020 at 5:19pm PDT

  Hollywood vet Will Smith said he heard what y'all said about his beard!

          View this post on Instagram

                  #LakePrime is Hitting baby! #Quarantine with these bass. #Truth #BassPrime #Bassanova #PrimeDance #PrimeyHouston Hat by @brandedbills @uafish @underarmour

A post shared by PRIME (@deionsanders) on Apr 8, 2020 at 2:08pm PDT

  Former NFL star Deion Sanders served up OG Zaddy vibes.

  This too shall pass!!! Right now, it’s bad but we’ll get through this TOGETHER!!! #StaySafe pic.twitter.com/8awiz0ZARx

— Allen Iverson (@alleniverson) April 6, 2020

  Former NBA star Allen Iverson is letting his grays flourish.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Mr. DeNiro and @leonardodicaprio I accept your challenge and I am ALL IN. These are tough times and we all have to stick together and support one another to get through this and that’s why I’m joining the #AllInChallenge. I am offering a walk-on opportunity on the set of my new show on @netflix with my daughter @corinnefoxx, Dad Stop Embarrassing Me. To take part, go to the allinchallenge.com. 100% of donations will go to @mealsonwheelsamerica, @nokidhungry and #AmericasFoodFund (@wckitchen & @feedingamerica) @kingjames will you go all in with us?

A post shared by Jamie Foxx (@iamjamiefoxx) on Apr 16, 2020 at 7:04pm PDT

  Comedian/actor/singer Jamie Foxx's gray hairs are coming in.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Just in case you missed it on @jimmykimmellive, here it is in raw, uncut form for easy listening: “Stay the F*ck at Home.” Let’s all do our part to keep everyone safe and healthy! #STF@H @jimmykimmel @adammansbach @feedingamerica

A post shared by Samuel L Jackson (@samuelljackson) on Apr 2, 2020 at 12:34pm PDT

  Actor Samuel L. Jackson usually keeps his face shaved, but he's letting his beard grow out during lockdown.

Speaking of growing out...

          View this post on Instagram

                  I wasn't gonna post this but two tears in a bucket! This is where I'm at with it. Lol So I'm gonna ride #myJefferson out until the "Rona" kicks rocks! For those of you that don’t know I have cut my own hair my whole life so it’s been hard not to put the clippers to it but when I look back at these pics I will remember the Rona! Lol Fish don't fry in the kitchen, beans don't burn on the grill, took a whole lotta tryin, just to get up that hill, now we're up in the big leagues, getting our turn at bat, as long as we live, it's you and me baby, there ain't nothing wrong with that"! I nominate all my bald or going bald brothers to let it grow out, y’all know who you are! Lol. #pulluptothescenewitmyceilinmissin #shoutouttothefivehead #movinonuptotheeastside #myjeffersonon @kingjames @richardajefferson @carroyo79 @ripcity3232 @mrcbooz @shaq @starburymarbury @dwilk3000 @jermaineoneal @therealchrisspencer #napsknotsandbeebeeshots #georgejeffersonchallenge #kickitray

A post shared by Ray Allen (@trayfour) on Apr 7, 2020 at 1:59pm PDT

  NBA champion Ray Allen - who usually rocks a baldie - is letting his hair grow out and he challegned his fellow "bald brothers" to grow their hair out as well. Ha!

Photos: Tia's IG/Khaled's IG/Tracee's IG

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/04/19/young-gray-fabulous-celebs-show-off-their-silver-strands-while-in-quarantine

[nickyschneiderus]

The internet is baffled by Trump’s upcoming meeting with Kanye West

President Donald Trump will meet with rapper Kanye West later this week, according to White House officials.

Trump and Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, will meet with West on Thursday to discuss a myriad of topics, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said.

“Kanye West is coming to the White House to have lunch with President Trump and he will also meet with Jared Kushner,” Sanders said, according to pool reports. “Topics of discussions will include manufacturing resurgence in America, prison reform, how to prevent gang violence, and what can be done to reduce violence in Chicago.”

The meeting between the three men comes amid political tensions that have crossed over into the music world. West has been outspoken in support of Trump lately and his politics have prompted other musicians to speak up.

After praising West, right-wing personalities criticized singer Taylor Swift for her endorsement of Phil Bredesen over Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.) in the state’s U.S. Senate race next month. Swift’s post appears to have ignited many people to register to vote.

West, meanwhile, was praised by conservatives after he went on an off-air rant praising Trump during the season premiere of Saturday Night Live late last month. During the speech, West was wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat.

The president himself weighed in on the rant the day after SNL aired.

“Like many, I don’t watch Saturday Night Live (even though I past hosted it) – no longer funny, no talent or charm. It is just a political ad for the Dems. Word is that Kanye West, who put on a MAGA hat after the show (despite being told ‘no’), was great. He’s leading the charge!” he wrote.

Like many, I don’t watch Saturday Night Live (even though I past hosted it) – no longer funny, no talent or charm. It is just a political ad for the Dems. Word is that Kanye West, who put on a MAGA hat after the show (despite being told “no”), was great. He’s leading the charge!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2018

The news of the upcoming lunch between Trump and the rapper was met with bemusement online.

Reassuring to know Trump is getting serious about prison reform and reducing gang violence by having a private meeting with… Kanye West.

— Jennifer Bendery (@jbendery) October 9, 2018

Kanye is already practicing for his 2020 election by being the secret president for Donald Trump. #TuesdayThoughts

— janus (@HEXAMIS) October 9, 2018

Noted expert on manufacturing, prison reform, and policing, #KanyeWest, will share his wisdom with #trump, who knows even less about all those things than Kanye does. https://t.co/Ph5hetmlXV

— Evan McKenzie (@evanmck) October 9, 2018

Can you blame #Kanye? In a room with just #Trump and #Kushner, he's suddenly the least crazy, most qualified person at the party. Everybody deserves to feel normal for a bit.

— Garett Press (@garettpress) October 9, 2018

Maybe Kanye will use his example and talk Trump into deleting his social media accounts.

A guy can dream.

— Fred. (@freeloosedirt) October 9, 2018

Others noted the rift with Swift.

Those same Republicans blasting Taylor Swift for poking her nose into politics and demanding she ‘stick to music’ are the same ones overcome with joy and support at Kanye West speaking up for Trump.

Funny, that.

— Mike P Williams

(@Mike_P_Williams) October 9, 2018

So Kanye gets a meeting to talk about issues, but Taylor Swift gets told to shut up when she speaks her opinion?? Makes total sense. Not even taking political sides here, it’s literally is dumb.

— Opie Neff (@opieneff) October 9, 2018

Republicans yesterday: Taylor Swift is a pop star, no one cares what she thinks. She should shut up & play music.

Republicans today: Kanye is meeting with Trump & Kushner to advise them. isn't that fantastic?!?!

— Kimma (@Kimma_S) October 9, 2018

GOP 2016:

*elects reality TV star as POTUS*

GOP 10/8/18:

“Dear Taylor Swift, celebrities have no place in politics kindly STFU”

GOP 10/9/18:

“OMG. OMG. OMG. Kanye is having lunch with Trump. DRAGON ENERGY BITCHEZZZZ!” pic.twitter.com/cLqWXmrp1r

— Schatz (@schatz_rashad) October 9, 2018

This is the hypocrisy I see with most of the #MAGA #Trump supporters: Praise Kanye for his coming out and support of @realDonaldTrump. Tells @taylorswift13 to “keep out of politics” when she tells her base who she’s voting for but encourages them to vote based on their beliefs.

— Jarod Thompson (@JarodNotJared) October 9, 2018

In May, Kim Kardashian, West’s wife, went to the White House, where she spoke to the president and successfully lobbied him to commute the sentence of a grandmother serving a lengthy sentence for a non-violent drug offense.

READ MORE:

Lana Del Rey blasts Kanye West for MAGA post—and Azealia Banks comes to his defense

Trump shades NFL protests by selling ‘Stand Up for America’ jerseys

Taylor Swift’s political Instagram is working

from Ricky Schneiderus Curation https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/kanye-west-trump-meeting/

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it