#taking the train ride of my LIFE right now like i unironically hope that if there's life after death then it's this

[mwagneto]

thinking about simple human acts of kindness and the way they couldn't exist in an automated world.... the train conductor letting me stay in the nicer car even though that's not what my ticket says because it's empty anyway, the cashier not scanning my snacks and pointedly tossing the receipt, the night bus driver whose shift ended but who saw that the 2am bus didn't stop for me so he backed his bus up and told me to hop on since he's going into the city anyway, the museum attendant who let us in for free because he saw we were students and it was a slow day, all the times the local bus drivers let me get on without a ticket, the list just never ends and it all means so much to me.... we're all just doing the small things we can to make each other a little happier. it's beautiful and it's overwhelming and it's everything

[sureivy]

is that HALSEY? no, that’s just IVY CALDER. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR years old and is an EMPLOYEE AT DON’T FRET & PAWS 4 LOVE. rumor has it they’ve been in town for FOUR MONTHS / TEN YEARS. on a good day, they’re CREATIVE & VERSATILE. but watch out! they can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & VOLATILE. TRIGGER BANG BY LILY ALLEN (FT. GIGGS) plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill!

hello my pals ! i’m amy ( 20 // est // she/her ) and i am super excited to be here! we also over here bringing back a fairly old muse (i,, apparently,, play her during election years,,) with a couple of tweaks, so we love that for me! also! pls forgive me if this is lowkey disorganized, we’ve been in and out of airports all day! can’t wait to contract that sexy corona!

QUICK FACTS:

full name: ivy rose calder

date of birth: may 2, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: taurus sun, pisces moon, aquarius rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: high school diploma

enneagram: 7w8?

mbti: enfp

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

positive traits: creative, versatile, passionate, compassionate

negative traits: irresponsible, volatile, impressionable, hedonistic

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: brief implied sexual abuse, suicide, a lot of death talk?, drug abuse ( desoxyn ), overdose

ivy lived the first eight years of her life in newark, nj. she had a mere family of three – her mother, a model-turned-stay-at-home-mom, her father, a politician, and herself. she was much closer to her mother, but she and her father were close at night.

when her mother finally found out about this, she wasted no time in taking ivy’s father’s side. what a good mom! instead, ya girl was already getting in touch with cps herself... but wow... it was gonna ruin his career in politics :\

“Now, one thing I lerned from Storys is, when something big is about to okur, a riter will go: Then it hapened! This tells the reeder: Get Reddy. Here I go: Then it hapened!” - fox 8

then it happened!

humiliated, clearly never getting a platform back, and absolutely bitter, ivy’s father killed himself before being sent to prison. 

Very Tragique™

ok. so. to distance themselves from the poor memories, but to save money, ivy and her mother moved to springhill, temporarily sharing ivy’s aunt’s apartment while her mother began collecting enough money to buy an apartment of their own and keep it.

during this time, ivy was seeing a lot of people and she didn’t know why! they asked questions about her mental health, but she didn’t know why! i mean, totally not traumatic, right?

yes. instead of managing communication well, she became very fascinated by the concept of death. she had many questions about it, she, a youth, had some extended conversations with clergymen about it –– she never killed any animals, god forbid, but she was absolutely fascinated when she ran across them.

SO CLEARLY THAT WAS ALSO TRYING TO BE DEALT WITH.

ok, i’m gonna skip ahead a little. now in teen years and still fascinated by death, but in a healthier way!, and no longer in therapy because... like... that costs a lot of money!

she dealt with it the best she could. became enamored with music... because why wouldn’t she? some covers here and there, some originals here and there, living that youtube lyf, but not expecting anything to come of it. just liked validation! mood!

she also dealt with it the worst she could! became enamored with drugs! naturally, it started out small. some weed, some lsd, some molly –– you know, just drugs that you don’t typically think of as addictive. although her grades suffered, it was harmless enough...

upon graduating high school, she figured... no college. instead, with barely any money to her name, she was like “i... will go to new york... and i will become famous.”

and she did! she did go to new york! she found a few sketchy places that didn’t charge much for a few nights as she began networking - both socially and “i would like to be known for music” (i literally just forgot the word for networking like..... employment wise.... y’all i’m so dumb). when she’d made some friends, she began crashing on couches that were not quite as sketchy! 

but :\ she did meet these friends in sketchy places :\ and they were like “ok here r some new and more addictive drugs for u to try!”

what she wound up abusing using the most was desoxyn. it kept her awake, it kept her focused, it even shed a few pounds to create an excellent figure! what wasn’t to love! 

i mean it’s literally a prescription methamphetamine,,, when abused,,, literally almost exact same effects as meth,,, but when meth mouth, skin lesions, acne, etc aren’t occurring as a side effect? who was she to care!

20, she released an actual ep with the help of a super cool friend who made everyone call him puppy mills! wow! things were excellent! it wasn’t necessarily seeing mainstream traction, but there was a decent enough following! enough to release an album at 22!

perfect timing, btw! desoxyn was starting to become too expensive for puppy to afford and trying to fake having such a severe form of adhd that desoxyn would be prescribed as opposed to something like ritalin or adderal when it’s literally illegal to prescribe in some countries now?? too hard :\ but the money from the album helped her and puppy!

*olaf vc* puppy died. *end vc*

she was there for it too. she thought it was just a freak-out, took a LITTLE too much, but not OVERDOSE worthy... then he l i t e r a l l y died. and it was a painful death!

“oh wow! maybe prescription meth isn’t super cool after all! shucks!” but that was also an opening?? to visit death herself?? like... she didn’t necessarily want to die (sort of), but she wanted... an answer to the question that had plagued her her entire life... so she was like “ok hope i die then someone revives me but if i die then :\ i guess i die!”

did not die. but also did not get a satisfying answer to her question. the only way it would’ve been truly satisfying? if she had been dead for longer than a minute - then it would’ve given a definite answer! because the answer she received was just nothingness which, while peaceful... is it true?

she tried to detox alone, what because rehab is a business, and it... only... sort of worked. she would be clean for a few weeks, then fall back in, then clean for a few weeks, then fall back in. whenever she wasn’t just naturally focused and awake, or whenever what she was focused on was the past, she would fall back in.

i mean, a side effect is memory loss, so win/win!

she made the semi-wise decision to move back to springhill. wisest would’ve been to just move to a town/city she had absolutely no memories in, but better than moving back to newark!

so... without much to show, and with an unreliable streak, she knew she wouldn’t be able to start looking for much of an occupation – but she still needed money! so she began working at don’t fret out of a love for music, then began working at the animal shelter after completing training.

the main training was, of course, for putting animals to sleep.

FULL CIRCLE.

ah yes. how she pretends it’s healthy... even tho there are studies and statistics relating suicide to veterinarians and shelter workers who euthanize animals... ah yes.

has been back for four months now. love that. do not know how to finish this.

TL ; DR:

born in newark. moved to springhill at 8. childhood trauma that she is still carrying causes fascination with death. “i love music.” moved to ny at 18 because realistic. childhood trauma also causes dependency on desoxyn. releases an ep and an album. does not become famous, but they both have decent traction. moves back after an overdose. relapses... often. now sells records and puts animals to sleep. miss american dream since she was 17, amirite?

PERSONALITY / MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

one person one week, a totally different person the next.

wants to please people, but also wants to be her own person? it’s a whole deal!

in spite of her slight icarian incident, she still hopes to maybe one day become a real musician and performer. until then, we selling records and saying ‘goodbye’ to sweet animals!

can truly flip like a switch in interactions! does love ruining things for herself! almost always feels bad after bc :\ damn :\ alright :\

i’m very bad at these sections i really hate that i always include them!

is still avoiding healthy coping mechanisms. love that for her.

favorite movie is, unironically, the bee movie. favorite horror movie is cats.

SO GOOD at memorizing random lines or trivia. could probably recite literally all of who’s afraid of virginia woolf? other than that?? her memory is so bad. hate drugs for that :\

she uses her hair to express herself! (that sounds really boring.) ...she uses her hair to express herself!

but no. seriously. wears the black shag weave the most, followed by the blue/yellow combo ( we stan the badlands aesthetic ). occasionally forays into other colors and styles when money permits, but it’s usually gonna be one of those two!!

was an envy on the coast stan in high school which makes an inappropriate amount of sense.

will go out and steal the dumbest shit when she’s drunk. has a history of stealing chickens.

once again: hate that i always include these!! feel free 2 j consult the personality parts in the quick facts!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

ok we gonna list some general ones for right now! all are open to multiple people unless there’s an asterisk by it!

close friends –– moonie, teagan,

ride or die

childhood friends –– moonie,

bad influence ( mutual or her on them ) –– veronica ( mutual ),

good influence ( them on her ) –– presley, hayden, gabrielle,

exes ( can be from high school or something like that if based in springhill, can be from 20s in new york if based in new york )

fwb –– trent,

will they, won’t they –– presley,

someone who knew her music ( can be neutral, a fan of it, or hate it afhkjsl ) –– presley, moonie, teagan, indiana, 

will also possibly be sending in some wanted connections for things that are! more specific!

truly anything!! also up to brainstorm and/or look at yours if you have them!!

UPDATE: i have created a wc page so we luv that for me.

OK. like this or hmu if you’d like to plot!

[sunflowershayne]

mortal kombat au

bc i’m a dumb thot that’s severely attached to MK and smosh so.... uwu

ian hecox: liu kang. one of the most recognizable characters, generally considered the “hero” of the MK universe, one of the most powerful human characters, has fire magic and idk i just strongly relate ian to fire sometimes. also very fiercely protective of those he cares about, and will do whatever he can to help others. stubborn and vengeful, even when it can be petty.

noah grossman: ermac. has probably stolen at least 1,000 souls in his lifetime, has an unspeakable aura, has green magic (weed), has that one fatality where he takes out your stomach and noah is v picky so it fits i think. currently has free will and chooses his battles in self-preservation, and wants what’s best for his home and the world he grew up in. has a very strong connection to family due to having the former outworld king’s soul inside of him.

olivia sui: skarlet. is a very strange little creature with an obsession for others’ blood, one of the most powerful girls in the MK universe due to her magic, has the potential to take everything over but just wants approval. is also incredibly brutal but in a subtle way, has an ethereal and almost elegant way to her. basically i just see them both as weird gremlin women with insane amounts of power.

keith leak jr.: kung lao. very close with liu kang, iconic hat, is one of the more mundane humans due to not having a power, but is just as formidable as other kombatants due to his rage and his sheer knowledge of fighting. has a legacy he wants to live up to (the great kung lao is kinda like kung lao sr. right?), and is protective of his family (the shaolin monks). is generally more pissed off than liu kang.

courtney miller: cassie cage. sassy wlw (cassie’s not a confirmed wlw but like... come on, she’s. not straight), has latent magic within her, strong ties to her family, doesn’t rely on her power to fight with others despite being able to. strong badass woman that supports others, literally could kill a man by kicking them in the nuts. uwu-loving, selfie-taking, snapchat-filtering, ass-kicking lady that takes no prisoners.

shayne topp: johnny cage. muscular blond actor that is not-so humble about how they perceive themselves, very jokey and sarcastic, REFERENCES REFERENCES REFERENCES, pop culture, will flirt with anyone if it means he can be out of danger. consistently shirtless, but also incredibly loyal and steadfast, and has a very good heart. will do ANYTHING for his family and friends, including defeat a literal elder god in combat.

lasercorn: scorpion. fire man made of vengeance and anger, loves his clan more than anything, literal hellspawn, has a thing for sub-zero, is actually just a skull under a ninja mask, has actual flame hair, impulsive and has a short fuse. wants nothing more than to avenge his family and clan, and does absolutely anything he can to make sure that he gets what he wants. becomes besties with sub-zero (more than besties but like.... i’m not gonna say it Out Loud lest Ed Boon come murder me in my sleep!!!!!!!!)

jovenshire: erron black. gunslingin’ rowdy boy that tries to flirt with unsuccessful results, has his own interests and goals in mind when he makes decisions, chooses battles based on how much he can gain from each possibility. listens to country music and unironically does the boot-scootin’ boogie, has strong beliefs that people are allowed to make their own decisions and do what they want. a strangely coy and erotic cowboy.

mari takahashi: kitana. ethereal princess of an entire realm, goes from wanting to please others to making her own decisions and being loyal to herself, can kill a man with just a kiss, is besties (i mean in canon they’re dating but like. Not Here!!!!) with liu kang. has hopes for the future, will do whatever it takes to prevent bad things from happening, surprisingly very violent despite being so nice.

sohinki: sub-zero. generally a chill guy that will kick your ass mercilessly when given the chance, may or may not be lasercorn’s true enemy, initially was kind of a strict dude but now he’s just chill and wants to have a good time. always seems to show up whenever others need him, and basically just takes things in stride. all around good addition to a team, but can be stubborn and unmoving.

wes johnson: mileena. very giddy at first, but calms down a bit later on, desperately wants to be considered part of a family, has a strong temper and craves some sort of control, wants stability and prosperity for themselves. proud of their accomplishments and are always looking for people to acknowledge them, big eaters. is like a younger sibling that pesters you for candy. more powerful than they know.

boze: sonya blade. no-nonsense, won’t hesitate bitch, will kill you within a moment’s notice if you cross her, strong and independent with a soft spot for her friends, idk i just really associate boze with army green, was almost definitely a very emo teen. expects a lot from cassie but loves her with all her heart, is ride or die, ambitious and knows what she wants. go-getter through and through.

damien haas: kenshi. is almost definitely a psychic, values honor, besties with shayne, is a GOOD DAD!!!!!!! (fuck mkx’s portrayal of kenshi as a father tbh!!!!!!! takeda deserves better and SO DOES KENSHI!), is 1000% a cat person, has telekinesis probably, kitanas. knows a lot of shit, is lowkey shady af, helps scorpion in the new timeline (which... damien and lasercorn are... mind brothers), helps the Kombat Kids train bc they need it

flitz: kotal kahn. sun god, can and will turn into a lion at any moment, probably just glows sometimes for fun, is real into jade (which. aren’t we all.), is less interested in conquering and more into internal affairs and uniting people, proud of his body (bc kotal’s always shirtless, y’know.), would definitely drink blood for youth and sustenance. is able to teleport and has telekinesis, but it’s just w/e y’know!

rhett & link: raiden. the protector(s) of earthrealm and savior of the MK storyline, all-powerful immortal gods, are like WAY too fucking tall, did i mention that raiden is an elder god and that rhett & link literally saved our asses? gods, truly.

defy executives: shang tsung. old-ass, musty-ass, soul-stealing bitch, is liu kang’s arch-nemesis, brought sindel back to life which literally almost killed everyone in the MK timeline until they were brought back due to the time shenanigans. fuckin’ dusty soul-grabbing bastards that don’t even have good fatalities smh.

[ask-anyone-from-the-tick]

Bellow the cut are my spoilery thoughts after watching season 2 of the Tick

I’m kind of glad Dot turned out to have a super power because being the only hero with no powers is sort of Arthur’s whole thing. I also like that she didn’t outshine Overkill and just step over him, but still looks up to him a bit and appreciates his approval. They feel like equals, and he’s still an awkward turtle socially.

THEY WERE SO CUDDLY AND AWKWARD ON THE COUCH, Overkill is def the kind of guy who can’t move if there’s a pet on his lap. He’s so soft I can’t...

I LOVE that we get to see more of Joan and her relationship to her family, she’s awesome and I love and support her. She’s just doing her best, and I hope those lobster babies come to visit.

Superian and Larry’s relationship continues to baffle me just a bit. Larry seems to just be a willing servant to cater to his whims I guess. I kinda hoped they were more buddy buddy than that. Apparently it makes Superian feel better to toss him way up and catch him lawl

The way Hobbs reacted when Tick broke the arm wrestling machine thing makes me wonder if Tick is actually the strongest superhero in the world, maybe second only to Superian ??? Or at least the strongest ever registered with AEGIS.

I really, REALLY like Sage. He’s fantastic. He’s also really attractive, is it just me? DAT VOICE THO. [take me on a wild nipple ride! jk omg I’m sorry]

That twin woman who was impressed with Arthur’s nerdy organization came off as REALLY OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and his reaction was to just shrug it off like he wasn’t in to her, even though she was gorgeous, and Tick immediately picked up on it that she was flirting and got DEFENSIVE AS HELL like she was taking Arthur away and I just-- that’s pretty gay guys. That’s really... wow. And then she comes back and continues to hit on Arthur and he never once acts like he’s in to her, I don’t... I don’t know what to say but if Arthur suddenly starts pining over her in season 3 out of no where I’m gonna kms [not because he’s not gay but because it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in this woman. Don’t establish this and then force romance after we’ve seen there’s none.] Also when Arthur was picking out fancy clothes Tick had REALLY specific fashion descriptions and opinions on what looked good on him. He was like enjoying Arthur modeling clothes ajdlfdjas

Someone needs to draw Overkill being lovingly rescued by dolphins STAT

I honestly, unironically, think Edgelord’s entire look is cool and he’s very handsome. I think he looks like if Johnny Depp and Adam Driver had a baby.

SUPERIAN FEARS THE TUMBLRS. We’re his kryptonite. 

Dangerboat... plane... whatever he is, kinda deserved a little more attention toward the last half of the season. The episode centered around him was the most emotional and it brought everyone together more, I really dug that. It made me cry. ALSO WE STAN MICHAEL, HE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. I’m so proud of Arthur for seeing Dangerboat more as a person and making an effort to connect to him as a friend. <3 good job Arthur-- at the same time--

I HATE they way Arthur acted like Dot has a specific thing she should or shouldn’t be that was out of character. It’s like the writers wanted the female character to undergo some sort of oppression to rise up against, some form of misogyny from her male family member that she had to point out. You shouldn’t have to tear down a good character because he’s male, to make the female look good. If misogyny was gonna come out of Arthur, let it come out another way other than “this isn’t want you’re supposed to do” like mother fucker, she’s been taking care of you your whole life, she’s done martial arts training, she’s a paramedic, she is way more qualified than you. He’s the last person to talk that way to anyone and it’s pissing me the fuck off. He’s the one struggling with mental illness and no phyical ability to fight anyone, it makes no sense.

Arthur’s actor Griffin Newman, he just does such a fantastic job. The whole undercover scene was so perfectly on pitch, like... just the right level of second hand embarrassment and pride came outta me. He was so close to  blowing it because he’s an anxious person by nature, but he pulled it off and came off more as just an awkward criminal with tons of money that was just believably nerdy. I loved it, it was so funny. Please give him all the awards. And that scene where Tick is on one side of Lint, way too close to her, and Arthur is on the other, and they just work her forking nerves was so hysterical. I died. I think they need to play up that comedic chemistry more often because Tick and Arthur bounce off each other really well when they’re not busy trying to solve serious problems. 

Ok so the whole human furniture thing caught my eye immediately. The pose we are first introduced to is an infamaously disturbing pose by a real life serial killer who ate people and posed their bodies in weird positions and used them for sex and I forget what else. Anyway I tried to brush that off as coincidence, but then later on Dot and Overkill go to where they think this Duke guy’s lair is, and his house looks exactly like John Podesta’s house that had a statue of that EXACT same serial killer’s victim in that pose, and podesta’s walls were covered in creepy pedo art of little girls and drowning women. And the walls of Duke’s lair were covered in creepy human furniture art. I mean there are all kinds of parodies this season that are in your face, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t follow pizzagate carefully would catch this one.

Speaking of parodies OMFG I lost it when Superian reenacted that Superman scene where he’s like “Can you read my mind?” as he’s dragging the screaming guy across the night sky. 

Ugh, I’m so sad that Tick and Arthur don’t get to keep those precious baby lobsters, and where did they get all the cute toys?? I wanna think Joan picked those up for them. Kawaii lobster voice: “Joaaan!” Tick is such a good dad...  A family can be a giant Tick man, a moth boy, a hobo, a mimaw, and a bunch of singing lobsters. "SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tick drinks respect woman lobster mom juice.

I think I don’t know what to make of the reverse Green Goblin twist going on with Ms. Lint. The creepy voice is telling her to become a hero I guess, but not really? I think the joke is we think it’s telling her to be a hero, but really it’s teaching her to be a  better villain LMAO

I’m glad kevin has a power and he was welcomed to come help even before said power was revealed.-- woah wait where tf is Karamozov?? I gotta tweet his actor he loves this show and he wasn’t in this season ???

I don’t blame Dot for being upset they want to defrost The Terror, but at the same time due process is a thing. I don’t know how that would work in a society full of super powers though. Because the moment you defrost him he’s going to find a way to escape. He’s the oldest, and the worst super villain of all time. This is why I’m ok with the death penalty and killing villains lol

I was expecting Walter to be some sort of MK Ultra sleeper agent, but the plot twist was, that’s what Overkill would become I guess. And Lobstercules. OH BTW I think she’s voiced by the same actress who played Captain Liberty in the old Tick sitcom! “Walter isn’t Walter? My feet don’t feel so good.” Aw Tick

Ty Rathbone drinks respect mothers juice.

Acting agent commander doctor agent Hobbs, honestly I suspected he was the main villain like the moment he was headed toward Lobstercules because something about the lighting and the camera work seemed to telegraph that.

I bet the reason Ty Rathbone feeds his black hole heart monster mice, is because it requires frequent blood sacrifice and that's the smallest sacrifice he can think of that he can quickly just put in there and placate it and go on with his day. I don’t know if he’ll be season 3′s villain or if it’s the aliens that just came back to reclaim Superian. 

Which btw, I called that shit from season 1 episode 1. Superian showed up crash landing inside Big Bismuth which is the only thing that could trap him. He was a prisoner, probably because he did some bad shit, and he told Arthur he helps humanity because he just wants to be a good person. Like he wasn’t one before and now he wants to try to be one.

I want to talk about these, nearly involuntary dance parties Overkill rewards himself with... but I uh... I still can’t compute that that’s actual canon. That that’s a thing Overkill and Dangerboat enjoy together and he... he can’t seem to control himself when the music plays... And also that Dot AND Overkill both know how to floss dance... I just... wow...

Oh and that hug with Overkill made me an emotional mess, he just... he really needed that, thank you Dot.

This concludes my rant and ramble.

[theycallme-tunathot]

Road to Ruin [Chapter 2-Reader]

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader Rating: Somewhere between R and NC-17 I believe. Synopsis: The reader is setting up for a long weekend alone at the training facility when Jackson asks a weird request of her. Author’s Note: I literally wrote five different versions of this chapter, all VASTLY different from each other. I chose this one because it was way easier to write and the vibe was right. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |

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The sun setting beneath the horizon marked the official start to the long weekend. This meant most of the dorms and the campus itself were emptying out, most people prepping for the massive party Jinyoung was throwing or heading home to see family and friends.

But for me, this meant silence. My roommate, who typically took several hours to prepare for whatever party was held that weekend, was surprisingly already gone. She usually was just ready to leave for the party when I was settling in for sleep.

With all the freedom that came with solitude and free time, I was wondering how to spend it. I had a few tapes from previous bouts that I could review for practice Tuesday evening, but I had four days to do that. I could go for a run and enjoy some fresh air, but I already did my cardio for the day. There was no use in overdoing it.

Instead of doing anything remotely productive, I decided checking Instagram was the better idea. Scrolling through the feed, I passed pictures of my sister in Tokyo, a few of my friends from my old high school having a big night out and a few photos from other athletes gearing up for Jinyoung's party. Perhaps these pictures were what a normal 22-year-old's weekend looked like. It involved friends and alcohol and trendy clothes. But for me, I was content in my sweatpants and my bed.

Just as I was becoming too disinterested my Instagram feed, something caught my attention. Well, not just something, a bare chest caught my attention.

It was pale and toned. Broad shoulders led to lean, slightly small but defined biceps. The pectorals that gripped my attention next were intoxicating in ways that I didn't know it could be. My teeth sunk deep into my bottom lip as I continued staring wordlessly at the picture of a very shirtless Mark. I swear I nearly passed out when I realized who it was, especially when I realized that beneath his oversized shirts lay a chiseled set of abs and sharp v-lines.

How the hell did Mark end up on my feed?

"For fuck's sake," I mumbled, looking at Jinyoung's icon just above the photo.

The picture was enough to distract me from mentally going on a tirade of how unironic and unappreciative I was of Jinyoung at this particular moment in life. My mind began to imagine what it felt like to stand in his arms. Did his toned chest feel hard to the touch or soft in a way? Would goosebumps appear over the skin if I ran a finger along his sternum or would he largely be unaffected by anything I did?

My phone vibrated violently in my hand, making me jump out of my skin. Eyebrows knitted together, I stared at the new text message banner at the top of the screen. Hitting it with my thumb, I watched as the thread of messages appeared from Youngjae.

Are you still around campus?

Yup :), I texted back.

I am so hungry my stomach is cannibalizing itself. Can we eat?

Laughing, I nodded my head before texting a quick yes. Promising to meet him in ten minutes, he quickly texted back a response.

If I'm still alive in ten minutes...

Youngjae was a new friend. Accidental, but still a good friend. Beach volleyball is one of those sports I didn't know was an Olympic sport until I met an actual beach volleyball player. Youngjae and I were in the infirmary for different reasons. I needed to be cleared after spraining my ankle a few weeks before and Youngjae wandered in there after saying he was lost.

Apparently it was his first day at the training facility and he had no idea where he was going. Instead of sitting around and waiting for the trainer and doctor to see me, I walked him to the dorms.

How we actually became friends? That was still a mystery to me.

By the time I made it to the commissary, he was already seated at a small table, eating. Smiling to myself, I rushed toward the station that served soup, asking for as many servings as they would allow.

Taking a seat at the table with my soup and assorted roasted vegetables, I grinned back at Youngjae.

"Seems you couldn't even wait a couple minutes."

Youngjae looked up from his tray with a guilty smile, "I told you my stomach was eating itself."

A light laugh settled between us as I shook my head. "I just thought you were being overdramatic."

"Excuse me, I'm never overdramatic."

"Was the extra emphasis on the word never supposed to back up that argument or...?"

Playfully pouting, my brunette friend grumbled. "I'm hungry, stop trying to out think me right now."

We spent a total of fifteen minutes eating in a comfortable silence. We seemed to be the only two people in the commissary besides the cooks who were beginning to clean the grills and shut down for the evening. When Youngjae reached his dessert of strawberry yogurt, he finally decided to speak.

"Seems everybody is going to Jinyoung's party."

I hummed in response, not finding it to be a big deal.

"Have you ever been to one?"

Looking up, I thought about it. "No."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"No."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "What's the big deal? It's just Jinyoung and it's just a party."

"Noona, it's Jinyoung's party."

"Trust me, you're not missing out on much. You're probably better off spending Friday night on campus anyway."

I watched as Youngjae pursed his lips, scrunching his nose as he mulled over the statement. "You're probably right, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to go one of these times."

"I'm sure he'll have plenty more."

I couldn't be sure how much time was spent between the two of us, complaining about our training partners and coaches, but it didn't seem like very long. And maybe that's why I liked hanging out with Youngjae. While I wouldn’t consider him my best friend (he's definitely close to it), it was easy hanging out with him. He didn't come with girl drama like Jackson did and he wasn't fussy about how we hung out. He hardly pointed out how non-existent my love life was and I found it easy to discuss things outside of the training facility with him.

"Are you free next Tuesday?" Youngjae asked out of the blue.

Thinking over my schedule, I gave a light shrug, "Maybe? Depends on the time."

"Are you free after lunch on Tuesday?"

"No. Why? Do you need someone?"

"Well, I need a suit for my sister's wedding coming up and I need a second opinion."

I snorted, shaking my head. "You really want fashion advice from me?"

His boisterous laugh filled the empty commissary and I couldn't help but give Youngjae a genuine smile. His laugh was too infectious and happy for me to do any differently.

"No, no, no, not fashion advice," he clarified. "It wouldn't be anything like that. I just want you to tell me if it looks good or not."

Nodding, I popped my last piece of carrot into my mouth. As I chewed, I thought about the possibility of pushing my weight training until after fencing practice so that I could help Youngjae out.  

"Why not ask Jackson?"

Youngjae's face completely changed. I'm not saying he paled, because that would be hard to tell in this lighting, but he definitely wore an expression close to it. Eyes wide, lips puckered in surprise he looked somewhat frightened of the idea.

"No," he shook his head.

I was confused at this.

"Why not? He's kind of stylish for a rugged guy," I pointed out. "I'm sure he'd be able to give a better-formed opinion on a man's suit."

"I can't ask Jackson."

"Why not?"

"He scares me," he blurted, an honest look on his face as he looked back at his empty tray.

I laughed, "Jackson isn't..."

Trailing off, I had to consider that while I knew Jackson for three years, I never once considered him scary. A huge presence? Yes. Loud and somewhat uncomfortably nosey? Of course. A flirt with any and everyone? Absolutely. But he wasn't scary to me. In fact, for the first three months I knew him I regarded him more as a cankerous sore on the inside of my cheek.  

But once you learn to deal with his loud, vivacious personality, the stigma or the mystique melted away. Jackson was just a good guy who wanted to be loved and well-liked underneath it all. Simple as that. It was just hard to remember that most people didn't see that when they saw Jackson.

"I'll see what I can do to clear my schedule on Tuesday just after lunch, happy?"

Beaming back at me, the largest smile of the night illuminating his face, Youngjae nodded and clapped his hands.

"It's settled then!"

By the time I reached my dorm room, the entire campus was dead. The athletes who were attending Jinyoung's party already gone along the rest who were leaving to visit family over the long weekend. Being on a nearly empty campus probably should've freaked me out a little more, but I loved it.

As I changed into my pajamas, there was only one pesky thought that kept filtering in and out of my consciousness. Jinyoung’s Instagram post from earlier with the very shirtless Mark. Did he know how low those shorts were riding on his narrow hips when the picture was taken? Was he aware that the lighting perfectly hit every dip and curve of his muscles?

Of course not, I scolded as I flopped onto my bed, staring directly up at the ceiling.

Crushes were such a poorly-explored subject for me. After dedicating so much time and effort into fencing, I gave up most of my "normal" teenage years. While girls in middle school were talking about boys and makeup, I was watching Swiss Fencer Marcel Fischer win gold at the Olympics in Athens. Instead of having fun, going on dates or getting caught up in the drama of teen life, I was practicing intensely outside of all my schoolwork.

If only I could've directed some of this determination into academics.

Somehow, without my brain being consulted, my fingers unlocked my phone and pulled up Instagram again. Once my eyes landed on the picture of shirtless Mark again, I felt my whole chest constrict. My skin seared uncomfortably and a tension grew somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I was growing uncomfortable and soon, I was sweaty.  

Why did it feel like I was dying of heat stroke?

Tossing my phone onto the night stand, I ignored the sound it made as it clattered onto the wooden surface. My mind was too preoccupied. Fabricated images of shirtless Mark began to invade, making me close my eyes. In my imagination he knew me, acknowledged my existence. And his lean arms were locked around me, no sign of slackening his grip.  

That's where my mind began to wander into deeply unknown territory. His luscious lips firmly pressed into my neck as I stood there, like the inexperienced awkward fish I was. In my imagination, Mark's arms slackened just enough to allow his hands to explore. Fingertips lightly brushed over the thin material of my sleep shirt before tracing along my spine.

Real me sighed. Closing my eyes, I tried to get a grip on the situation. There was no use in getting myself all worked up when I wasn't even remotely close to doing anything about it. It's not like I could just wish him to appear in my room and fix my stress.

But that didn't stop my mind from suggesting other means—my typical means.

While others found me to be some kind of asexual robot that lacked the capability of even comprehending sexual acts, I was indeed a fan of taking care of myself. I was never inclined to have random sex and getting to know someone well enough to have it was an exhausting endeavor. It also took a lot of time that my training schedule didn't afford me. So this method was far more preferred than others.

Burying myself beneath the sheets, Mark's face very vividly appearing in my mind, I lifted my shirt just enough. My fingers hit the hemline of my underwear and I sighed. I'm not sure why I was so nervous but I was. Perhaps it was because my mind was scarily accurate about recreating Mark for this fantasy.

My eyes slipped closed ever so lightly as I felt my legs begin to bend at the knee, spreading just enough. Teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I tried to keep the loud sigh buried as far back in my throat as possible at the feeling of my fingers gliding over the cotton material.

Imaginary Mark was soft with his touch and even softer with his kisses. Real me was turning into an asthmatic mess on the bed, hand buried between my thighs and eyes squeezed shut.

And that's when I heard it. The scream.

My eyes tore open as I lied there frozen.

There was a large amount of coughing filling the room from my unseen visitor. I didn't dare look over. The embarrassment I was already enduring was enough to kill me.

"Shit, I mean-I was just-I can—"

The voice gave everything away. In all my horror, I wished I could somehow become with the very fibers of my bed sheets.

"Y/N."

"Jackson, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

I didn't watch him as he left, instead choosing to stare at the ceiling and curse the very day I was born. Why the fuck was Jackson still hanging around and why the hell did he have to walk into my room at this very second?

Once I was sure I couldn't physically die from this level of embarrassment, I got dressed in actual pants and put a bra on before switching out my shirt and putting hand sanitizer on before opening my door.

And there was Jackson, his big brown eyes going soft and innocent in the hopes I would easily forgive him.  

"What the hell dude?"

"This is mostly your fault since you gave me the key code to your door a year ago," he pointed out. "You should've changed it after that."

"Why are you here?"

"Existentially or right here right now?"

My glare was all the answer he needed.

"Instead of where?"

"Oh, I don’t know, Jinyoung's party?" 

He gave a simple sigh, "Jinyoung's party got moved to BamBam's house. Something about Jinyoung having explosive diarrhea?"

I laughed, thanking the Heavens for small mercies. "All of a sudden I'm motivated to check out one of Jinyoung's famous parties."

Playfully shoving my arm Jackson laughed himself.  

"So let me ask a more specific question," I continued. "Why did you barge into the room? What couldn't wait for as long as it would've taken me to hear you knocking and open the door myself?"

And that’s when Jackson's face changed. For a second, I wondered if he was having flashbacks to a minute before when he walked in on me. But when he shuffled his feet, I figured it was bigger than walking in on his best friend.

Flashing dark eyes at me, a serious expression on his face, he answered. "I needed to ask a favor."

"Okay," I said cautiously.

Silence only followed the statement and I sighed deeply. "Are you going to explain it or...?"

"I can't go into details at this point," he replied, pressing his lips together.

"Then how can I agree to do the favor?"

"Because you're my best friend and I haven't asked for a favor like this before. It's important."

I stared back at him, sizing up the situation. The tone of his voice was verging on desperate. This was probably the most serious I would ever see him and to top it off, his words kind of scared me. Instead of acting dower, I decided to take a note out of Jackson's playbook.

"You didn't kill Coach Yoo did you?"

"No, just Jinyoung."

Though his face wasn't showing any humor, he was definitely joking about Jinyoung. I found myself laughing despite the atmosphere he just created.

"Then I'm already in. Yes I will hide his body in the infirmary."

When he didn't laugh, I decided to shut up. The silence stretched a little longer, but he seemed to be in the process of phrasing his next sentence.

"How important is this?" I asked suddenly, disrupting his mental conversation with himself.

He blinked a couple of times to reorient himself in our physical conversation. "It's the difference between whether I get to continue my training here in Korea or go back to China."

And suddenly the weight of the situation came crashing down. If I had known the severity of this, I wouldn't have made such light jokes. As much as Jackson annoyed me and as much as I always joked about him going back to China, I didn't want him to. He was my best friend and one of the only people keeping me sane besides Youngjae. I needed him here. But even deeper than that, he was my best friend and if he needed me to scale a mountain I would.  

"But," he added before I could open my mouth with my answer. "If you agree to do this favor, you can't ask me about it until I tell you. Just know I would owe you big time. Like name my first born after you-level of owing you."

What did I have to lose really? Jackson was my best friend. And besides, it's not like he's asking me to murder anyone. The guy is too much of a social butterfly to put enough effort into hating anyone on that level. So, putting aside any doubt, I gave him a small smile.

"I'll do it."

"You will?" he asked, a childish gleam in his dark brown eyes twinkling back at me. His lips stretched into a hopeful smile and whatever doubt I still had vanished.

"Of course, you're my best friend."

Before I could end the sentence, he picked me up in a bear hug, squeezing me tightly before releasing me.

"You're a lifesaver. I'll let you know when I'm ready to call in that favor."

Placing an obnoxious kiss on my cheek which made me squirm more than anything, he rushed down the hallway, no doubt heading to the party over at BamBam’s. While I was happy agreeing to do this unspecified favor for Jackson, I was still uneasy.

What the hell did I just agree to?