#tastes kind of like I'm drinking the contents of an ink cartridge but I can't back down now

[thelampisaflashlight]

Because I just spent an absurd amount of time trying to open a wine bottle, only for it to be basically flavorless, y’all get some “Dinner with the ghouls & Copia” headcanons. Indeed, I will use anything to facilitate making more headcanons. Below the cut for ease of scrolling, take a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board before you go.

Copia: Definitely tries to make an event out of the meal, he wants his guests to have the whole “dinner and a show” experience, but he can and will do something embarrassing part way through the evening. Be it fumbling the wine bottle or accidentally dropping sauce on his fancy outfit, he’s going to be incredibly dramatic about it, even if most of his “truly devastated” behavior is an act.

He tries to make the effort for when Sister Imperator comes to visit or other important church figures, but if it’s just him and the ghouls? He’s leaning over the coffee table eating chicken wings and pizza and making an absolute mess of himself. Worse yet, he’s feeding the bones to the ghouls because they like the crunch. Simply atrocious.

Aether: He tries, he really does. He puts in the time and effort to make things nice, and hey, it works out just fine! ...Uhhh... most of the time. The first time he cooked for anyone after being summoned was a disaster, the second time was just as bad, and the third time he at least remembered to remove the egg shells from his omelet attempt.

Nowadays he does pretty well, and is a wonderful host, but, much like Copia, if he can swing a no stress meal that lets him sit around in his boxers and watch tv, he will.

Dewdrop: He’s ordering dinner for everyone, he doesn’t have the time or the energy to make a fancy meal for a bunch of hungry people. He just doesn’t. He will remember your extra order of fries, he will ask if they can put the sauce in a separate container, because, “Mountain doesn’t like the ranch ON his food, he likes to dip it. I know that the little plastic cup will cost 25 cents more, he wants his ranch on the side and he’ll have it on the side.”

If he’s by himself though? Five star chef mode suddenly activates and he’s making himself single serve lasagnas and homemade pasta, because, “I deserve it, fuck you.”. Hard to say if his cooking is actually any good taste wise though considering the ghoul can and will eat soap.

Swiss/Multi: He’s taking people to a fancy restaurant to show off, and acts all proper and charming and it’s working dammit. He’s laying it on thick for his group, and he WILL wind up getting dessert for free because the staff thinks he’s handsome. He’s the dude who shows up with a really expensive box of pastries for people to eat that he got with a discount, because he “knows a guy”.

However, he’s also the one crunching down on chicken bones in the first scenario.

Rain: He’s got a box of mac and cheese with your name on it. No, really, he labelled it so he’d remember not to eat it before his dinner date rolled around. A connoisseur of the finest chicken nuggets the freezer section has to offer. 

He knows how to make all kinds of fancy dishes, but he’s a ghoul of taste, and knows sometimes simple is better. He will pair Kraft dinner with wine though.

Mountain: He’s going to to try and make you something you haven’t eaten before, keeping any dietary restrictions in mind of course. Likes making the meal alongside his guests and getting them to try the individual ingredients to see how they blend together to make the overall flavor.

Very polite host, who makes sure his guests have plenty of snacks, but is also secretly hoping there are lots of leftovers so he can eat them later after everyone has left.

Cumulus: She’s like Mountain, in that she likes having her guests help out with the meal, but she’ll also settle for them bringing their own individual dishes to share. If her and Mountain team up to make dinner, chances are there’s gonna be six other very curious and hungry ghouls lurking behind the kitchen island.

Cirrus: Makes the best pancakes anyone has ever had, but that’s about it. She can cook, but she simply will not. You’d sooner convince Dew to make dinner for everyone than get her to handle the hassle of feeding eight hungry ghouls. Nope, not happening. 

However, if Cumulus asks, well, she can’t say no, because she asked so politely and agreed to help wash the dishes afterwards.

Sunshine: She’s on par with Rain in this case, but Swiss feels, as a fellow multi ghoul, that she deserves better than boxed mac and cheese. Rain wholeheartedly disagrees and thinks it’s the pinnacle of dinner foods. It’s a whole thing.

She can microwave a hotdog without it bursting in the microwave, and Copia will consider that a win compared to the destruction the other ghouls have wrought on the abbey’s kitchen over the years.