#tbf havent opened this one for a while too forgot it existed

[gyuswhore]

surprisingly like this one (or ive been staring at it for too long while editing this one of the two)

but ive been thinking about making another art blog on here idk if i should do it lmao

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long. 

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film. 

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that. 

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer. 

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere. 

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird. 

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt. 

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now. 

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time. 

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game. 

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away. 

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that. 

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is. 

Darth Maul is awesome. 

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip. 

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves. 

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff. 

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her? 

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users. 

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it. 

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates. 

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon. 

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying. 

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that? 

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar.  #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist. 

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate. 

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff. 

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other. 

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise? 

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad. 

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier. 

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point. 

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt. 

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him. 

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff. 

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist. 

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code. 

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine? 

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl. 

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting. 

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?” 

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus. 

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET. 

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy. 

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though. 

My vote went to Bail Antilles. 

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely. 

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool. 

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination. 

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright. 

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film? 

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice. 

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol. 

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing. 

I also love the giant bubble shields. 

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass. 

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit. 

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit. 

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP. 

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it? 

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely. 

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage. 

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point. 

Yoda’s already soooo old. 

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut. 

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit. 

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator. 

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want.  Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all.