#teddyaltmancardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

It Can Crash In An Instant

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

Addison had worked tirelessly to show Teddy that she meant it when she said she would do better. And she did. She stepped up to the board and made it known that she wouldn’t be pushed around like she didn’t have a right to be the Chief. She showed Teddy that she would be there by coming home every night that she wasn’t on-call, she kept an eye on Teddy’s blood pressure and made sure she and the baby were taken care of. It was worth it, so, so worth it. 

Things were turning around and they were going great. Addison and Teddy had had a nice night, they’d gone out for a date night and then home. She was sleeping when her phone rang through her bedroom. She groaned in her sleep fumbling for the phone to try to keep it from waking up Teddy. Looking at the caller ID, she sighed. “Bizzy, it’s three hours earlier here.” “Addison, I’m getting on the plane, I’ll be there around 7am, your time, meet me at the tarmac.” “What?” Addison didn’t get an answer or an explanation, Bizzy just hung up the phone. 

Addison got up barely two hours later. “I don’t know what’s going on, she didn’t say anything except to meet her there. I’m sorry,” she told Teddy, “I have to go find out what’s going on. Bizzy doesn’t just get on the jet and fly to Seattle. She hates anything west of New York.” She had already pushed back any surgeries and meetings at the hospital for the day, unsure of what she was walking into. 

When she got to the tarmac, she stood there watching the jet pull in and Bizzy stepping off the plane. “Hello, Addison,” Bizzy said walking up to her. Addison was apprehensive at best, unsure of what she was going to find. “Bizzy. What’s going on?” “I need your help.” Addison’s world faded to just that moment, she had never heard those words from her. Bizzy didn’t ask for help, she didn’t say that she needed things; she threw money at people and expected them to read her mind. She watched as Susan was unloaded from the jet on a stretcher and jumped into action, getting an ambulance to transport her to the hospital. 

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of stabilizing, test running, and trying to plan a course of treatment. There was no time for anything, not even to eat. She called Teddy to fill her in on the situation so that she knew what was going on, but she didn’t get home until after midnight. Addison had crashed for just a few short hours after convincing Bizzy to go to the hotel and let Susan rest, with the promise that they would be back before the interns were there to round. Bizzy wanted to hear everything from everyone’s perspectives and explanations of what was happening. After barely a catnap, she was up and getting dressed to get back to the hospital. 

[soldierheartcd]

teddyaltman-cardiogoddess​ continued from (x)

"I don't know how to describe it," Delia sighed, claiming the spot on the couch that had just been offered to her. "It's like I don't have any energy or motivation to do anything all of the sudden, and I don't like it. You're a doctor. You can fix me, can't you?"

[sxtanshepherd]

Estate Escape

She had gone home to the estate for Thanksgiving and was quickly reminded by Bizzy that it was a year of winter break travel. Every other year it was either winter or summer, though with her summer courses, she usually got out of that one. Winter breaks were near impossible with them being built into the college courses. The dinner was filled with planning that Archer somehow got out of. Addison never quite understood how he always managed to avoid the family trips these days. They were going to the Alps to ski, one that they went to often when she was younger. It was familiar enough.

The first thing Addison did when Captain dragged her to his university over that week was to go see Teddy. She couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't be alone on a trip with her parents. She made her way through the campus knowing that Teddy was already back from visiting her parents, she had told her when she was coming back before they both started the week off.

Addison forced herself to knock twice, slowly, like a normal person despite her urge to rapidly knock until the door opened. Her hands stuffed in her pockets until Teddy came to the door. When she saw the blonde for the first time in weeks, she flushed and ducked her head, "Hi, I just had a quick question. Do you have a passport by any chance?" She really hoped that she did.

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

The Voicemails Saga

After the night with Teddy pulling her out of the cocktail hour, Addison started realizing how much she liked talking to her. She liked being around her and having someone that wanted to hear about her day. College friends hadn’t come easy to her; partially because she was too busy, the other part was because she wasn’t a good collaborator. Addison needed control over her group projects, her homework, her labs; she didn’t always like her classmate’s techniques even if they weren’t wrong. 

Addison walked into her apartment after a lab and felt exhausted. She poured herself a glass of wine and sat on the couch for a moment to breathe. The frustration from the day was overwhelming and she didn’t have anyone to tell that to. Addison didn’t usually tell people about it, just drank a glass of wine and started her homework. Today felt different though and she eyed her phone in the cradle. She deliberated for a few minutes before getting up and grabbing the phone. Her fingers shook lightly as she dialed the numbers. The phone rang..and rang...ang rang, until the voicemail kicked on. Addison almost hung up, almost. 

“Hey, it’s Addison. Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering you or anything. You’re probably out playing soccer or teaching a class. Uhm, anyway. I just got home from lab and I was so annoyed I just felt like I needed to talk to someone who knows what that’s like. I hope you’re having a good night, I have to prepare for lecture tomorrow. Bye.”

Addison hung up the phone and stared at it wondering if she’d just done the dumbest thing she could. Regardless, she had hung up and it was too late to delete the voicemail. It was done and it would just have to be how it was. 

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

Second Chances and New Impressions

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

About once a month, Addison would receive a summons from Bizzy and Captain to come home for a weekend. Last time, the time she ran out of Captain's TA's apartment had been a benefit for Bizzy, Captain had just pulled her to the University under the pretense of old memories. This time the summons had come from Captain: a university event for his department, he wanted the poster child of what his teaching could create. Addison was top in her class and likely to graduate early. She was the perfect child who had a plan since she was six and was following it. So, Friday night after all of her classes were done, she got into her car and drove to the estate, driving slowly to intentionally miss dinner. Just because she had to be there didn't mean she was interested in a dinner interrogation from Bizzy.

Saturday evening, Addison found herself at a cocktail hour, surrounded by professors, medical students, and undergrads that were trying to network themselves. Something she hadn't considered when she responded to the summons was that Captain's TA's were there, talking with other professors trying to get more research hours, more experience to take with them post graduation, more chances to get published and get their names out into the medical community. And on top of all of that, Addison was seeing a few people that were at the party Teddy had taken her to. A new kind of anxiety hit her. She hadn't known what to do that morning so she'd done the only thing she could when the realization hit her: get back to the plan that she'd always followed.

Now, stuck in a room that she couldn't run out of because it was only a matter of time before Captain put her in front of some board member. He found her on the fringes, avoiding interacting with people. Taking her arm and pulling her over to some department head. "She's top in her class at Yale, following after myself of course. She's been sitting in on my lectures since she was six years old." "Sounds like you've had an edge over your fellow classmates for quite a while," he told her with a smirk. Addison nodded lightly, "You could say that." Not that it had really ever been a choice, but she did miss the days that she liked spending time there. Though, the last time she'd been there had been nice. Seeing a streak of blonde hair, she quickly excused herself and made her way over to the bar and ordered a drink, she usually didn't drink at these, but she needed to take the edge off. She wanted to talk to Teddy but she didn't know if she wanted to talk to her, not after she ran out like that.

[sxtanshepherd]

Overwhelming Oversights

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

As it turned out, being chief took more time than Addison had ever anticipated. It didn't matter that she'd told the board they'd have to respect her life as a world class surgeon on top of chief duties, plus a pregnant wife. Even when she scheduled construction, painting, upgrades to ORs, even when everyone knew what they were doing and when, something always ended up pulling her away from patients, from surgery, from Teddy. The days she got excited at hearing her pager were long gone and they never called her at appropriate times. Addison was exhausted.

She missed the nights at home with Teddy, but every time she felt like she was losing it, the board would mention cutting their injured doctors from the staff. Addison couldn't let that happen. She spent days in her office reading emails, overseeing the changes in the hospital, and constantly checking and rechecking the surgical schedules. She'd scheduled OR upgrades in a staggered way so they always had at least six up and running, but delays were messing with the schedule.

This went on for weeks on end and Addison couldn't remember the last time she had operated. She occasionally was able to consult, but getting into the OR was nearly impossible. Every time she got halfway scrubbed in, something pulled her away. Leaving the hospital was becoming even more difficult. There was always more work and more paperwork to get done and every night that she went home, she worked from home so more wouldn't pile up.

Time she spent with Teddy got less and less. Addison felt guilty for it. but she tended to push it to the back of her mind. There weren't enough hours in the day. She always made sure the interns kept an eye on her though, made sure she ate or that something was available for her to eat. Somewhere in her thoughts, she wanted to be with Teddy, but she had to keep the hospital running, and couldn't risk their coworkers, all of the residents in their program. Addison couldn't fail them all.

After a long day of board meetings and dealing with deadlines, Addison walked into the apartment. "Hey, honey, I hope takeout from wherever you want sounds okay, I really don't feel like cooking or waiting for food to cook," she said. She’d dropped her stuff at the door, tempted to give herself one night of not working from home.

[sxtanshepherd]

Not Always As It Seems

They waited the exact amount of days that they absolutely had to in order to take the test at home. Addison had promised herself that she would let them experience everything as parents which meant home tests, not blood tests and ultrasounds, at least not yet. So, she made sure they had them in the house in anticipation of this day. She'd done research on every single brand when she lived in L.A, so she knew which one was best. Addison had had this day marked since the day they got married and did the insemination.

That morning, Addison's alarm went off and there was a reminder on her phone. Smiling to herself, she snuggled into Teddy as she kissed her awake gently. "Today's the day,” she murmured against her lips. She didn't want to rush her, wanted to enjoy the morning that she could potentially have with her wife. "Are you nervous?" she asked her gently, curled against Teddy. Addison was anxious, but in an excited way. As they laid there, her fingers were tracing along Teddy's arms, shoulder, any skin that they could find. She loved the connection and feeling of physical touch and knew that it could be grounding for Teddy. "No matter what it says, it's going to be okay," she told her quietly. If it was positive, they would celebrate and she'd probably make Teddy let her do an ultrasound. If it was negative, they would be sad but Addison was confident that they'd get through it and try again when they both were ready to, not a moment before then.

Addison watched as Teddy got up and went to their ensuite. She tried not to let her mind get away from her while her wife was gone. Smiling, She opened her arms for Teddy to curl up in for the time. "This is going to be the longest three minutes of our lives, isn't it?" she asked her. It was supposed to be a joke, but the seconds were ticking by slowly Addison had experienced time slow down many times: in surgery, during trauma at the hospital, many times growing up. This was the slowest she'd ever felt time move before, and there was nothing she could do about it. There was no distraction she could use. So, she laid there with Teddy in her arms until the timer went off.

Hearing the timer pulled Addison from her thoughts and she looked at Teddy. "Want to look together?" she asked her gently. This moment was important. Not everything. But incredibly important. They'd been waiting for this for so long. She let Teddy stand up and followed her out of bed to the counter where the test had been left to sit. There was a second of hesitation, anxiety of the outcome. Together, they looked at the small plastic stick that was telling them their future. Addison forced herself to stay composed as disappointment shot through her. It was negative. "It's okay," she said quietly. Her eyes were glued to Teddy, waiting for her reaction, whatever it was. They would be okay. It sucked, but they could always try again.

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

I’m ready if you’re ready

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

It had been a few months since the court hearing and the return to their lives was freeing. They returned to work and eventually stopped looking behind them to make sure they were safe. It took time, but they got there. Addison eventually stopped worrying about Teddy on nights that she was on call, but they still hadn’t really gotten back to running trails, not yet. They had their home gym anyway. 

Now, it was Bailey’s wedding and Addison was starting to not feel nervous about just going out and being in public. She was finally getting to the point where she wasn’t constantly looking around, trying to make sure that any random person they bumped into hadn’t done it on purpose. 

Smoothing out her dress and finishing putting her earrings in, she walked out of the bathroom. “Honey? Are you ready to go? We need to leave soon.”

[sxtanshepherd]

Worse Than Imagined

Two days after the lineup, Addison had been trying to come to terms with the fact that Teddy had been targeted. She didn’t know how what to do with that information, but really it didn’t matter how she handled it, she was terrified for Teddy though. They’d gone home and gotten ready for bed and Addison could do nothing but look at the body pillow between them. 

Even with all of the progress they’d made, the body pillow was still there, keeping Teddy safe from anything scaring her while she slept. Addison was grateful for it, but she hated it too. 

Addison was getting ready for the day when her phone rang, glancing at the number that she’d been forced to memorize lately, she quickly answered it. “Hello?” “Addison Montgomery?” “Yes?” “Some new evidence has come to light that we think you and Miss Altman need to know and see. It will probably be of interest for her lawyer to know and see as well. Whenever you have the time, we think it would be important for Miss Altman and yourself to come down.” Addison internally groaned. She wasn’t sure that they’d ever be done with this. “Thank you, I will talk with her and we’ll be down when she’s ready.” 

Hanging up the phone, Addison walked through their apartment to find Teddy. “The police just called, they found something they think we need to see,” she said quietly. Addison was getting further worried about what it could possibly be. Wasn’t it bad enough that he’d stalked Teddy and then attacked her because she said no? “Whenever you feel ready, no rush. The evidence and police aren’t going anywhere.”

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

Future Promises

This night had been planned for months, they had agreed to watch Sofia to give Callie and Arizona one night for themselves. Then Teddy had been attacked and they learned about unspeakable things, but Teddy had been adamant that they weren’t cancelling. Their friends deserved a break and she would be okay. As much as Addison was hesitant about it, she’d been learning to let Teddy tell her when she would be okay again. Learning to stop controlling everything again, even though it was hard. Not being in control meant that someone could get hurt again and Addison wasn’t sure she could go through that again. Teddy was sure though, so she continued to tell Callie that one night with Sofia wouldn’t be a problem. 

She’d spent the early evening organizing space in the guest room for the pack and play and made sure that the floors were clean of anything Sofia might find. Addison was a baby doctor, she knew everything there was to know about babies and wanted her own almost more than anything. She didn’t think she’d ever say that she wanted anything more than a baby, but then she met Teddy. 

Addison’s phone pinged quietly and she looked at it to see that it was Callie saying she was outside the door with Sofia. She opened the door and let them into the entry of their apartment. Callie was rambling of last time fed, last time Sofia was changed, and all of that pertinent information in a quick ramble. Addison couldn’t help but laugh as she took the pack and play and diaper bag from her and set them down by the couch, everything could be set up later. She spent a good amount of time listening to Callie tell her to call them if they had any questions which made Addison raise an eyebrow at her. It wasn’t like they’d never helped out with Sofia before, this was just the first overnight. “Callie, stop. We’re going to be fine, give me the baby.” Callie pressed another kiss to Sofia’s head before frowning lightly, “I know, I know. I just haven’t left her since...everything.” Addison nodded, “I know, but she’s safe, and she’s in good hands and she’s going to have the best sleep over ever with her favorite aunties; so, pass me the baby and go enjoy the night with your wife.”

Callie handed Sofia over and Addison couldn’t help but smile when she had a baby in her arms. “Say bye bye, mommy, see you tomorrow!” Addison held up Sofia’s hand to wave. “I would say we’ll send you pictures, but you’ll see her in the morning. Go, have fun. Breathe a little.” Addison practically pushed Callie out the door, but at the end of it, Callie was excited to have a night with Arizona without interruptions. Once the door was shut, Addison flicked it locked, a very strong habit she had these days, and glanced at Sofia. “Let’s go find Aunt Teddy.” She walked through their apartment to hear Teddy just turning off the blow dryer in their bathroom. “Look who’s here,” she called before walking in. 

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

[sxtanshepherd]

Closed starter: teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

Addison was exhausted. Callie almost died. It rang through her head over and over. It didn’t matter that she was alive and mostly stable, didn’t matter that Callie’s baby was alive. The whole thing had been too close. Once it was all over and Addison was no longer a vital role in saving Callie’s life, it was like she could feel that everyone remembered how she had come to Seattle in the first place. The looks from the now residents --she could hear the old rumors bouncing from the walls in her head. She needed a break. 

Addison took herself over to Joe’s despite the constant nagging that it was definitely not a place to go for an escape. It was close and she wasn’t willing to go far from Callie. She ordered a strong vodka martini and told Joe to keep them coming before settling herself into her seat. Addison had her face in her hands, trying to breathe. 

[sxtanshepherd]

A date, Addison hadn’t been on one of those in a long time and not with someone who didn’t know every mistake she’d ever made. It made her anxious and nervous about what to expect. It didn’t help that she had a limited wardrobe at the moment, considering she only had what was packed when she initially got the call from Richard about Callie. When she packed rapidly for being in the hospital constantly, not for being asked on a date by a colleague. 

Addison tried to make what she had with her work, but eventually caved and took herself shopping for something that she liked much better. Besides a girl could never have too many little black dresses, plus, she hadn’t gone shoe shopping in a while. Finally, as 7pm approached, Addison became more anxious about being picked up. Would Teddy decide that taking her out was too much? Would putting up with Derek and Meredith be too much? Would Mark cause problems for her to ever be happy? Seattle was filled with what-ifs, history, and drama. She was spiraling herself into a deep vortex of negative thinking when there was a knock on her door. 

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