#tf2 I swear to fucking god if I hear another sniper domination line I’m gonna fucking explode

[wearenotclosed]

[violent-optimism]

My favourite domination quotes from every TF2 Merc

Holy cow this took a while but was so fun to put together.

Because let’s be honest…the domination voice lines are one of the best things about playing TF2. You can’t tell me it’s not satisfying (or hilarious) when you hear one of these!

Scout:

To Soldier: “What’s your major malfunction, brother?”

(This is a reference to the movie Full Metal Jacket with a character that Soldier is definitely based off of)

To Medic: “Real nice effort, Deutsch-bag!”

To Pyro: “Dude, you’d get a closed casket at the ugly cemetery”

To Sniper: “You’ll never hit me! You’ll never hit my tiny head! It’s so tiny, I got a frickin’…such a tiny little head!

(If I ever hear this as Sniper I might just throw my mouse out the window lol)

To Spy: “Hehe, hey look! You shapeshifted into a dead guy!”

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Soldier:

 “If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created ME!”

To Demoman: “Scotland is not a real country! You are an Englishman in a dress!”

To Pyro: “You cannot burn me, I do not have time to combust!”

To Engineer: “Go back to Calgary, you cow-herdin’ Canadian!”

(As a Canadian, this one just tickles me. Why does he think Engie is from Alberta? I’m honestly shocked that Soldier knows the name of a single Canadian city lol).

To Medic: “Ich Bin I just kicked your ass!”

(“Ich Bin” means “I am” in German, which means Soldier said “I am I just kicked your ass” LOL)

To Sniper: “You just got dominated, Bilbo Baggins!”

(I have NO clue why he says this but as a LOTR fan I fucking love it. If anyone can explain the connection that would be cool.)

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Gonna skip Pyro for obvious reasons, sorry Pyro! :(

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Demoman:

To Pyro: Go to hell! And tell the devil I’m coming for him next!”

(Damn that goes hard)

To Medic: “How’s that ‘doing no harm’ working out for you, then?”

To Sniper: “I hate you campers! Everyone bloody hates you!”

(Jesus Demo, what did he do to you? lol)

“They’re going to bury what’s left of you in a soup can!”

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Heavy:

(No character specific lines but I still enjoy them)

“You are dead. Not big surprise.”

“Killing you is full time job now.”

“Entire team is babies!”

“I think you should fight someone much, much smaller!”

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Engineer:

To Scout: “Boy, this here is just gonna keep happening and happening.”

To Soldier: “That there is just a sad display, boy.”

To Demoman: “Drunk on the battlefield ain’t no way to be, son.”

(I love how he calls everyone “boy” or “son” lol)

To another Engineer: “I’m wolverine-mean you son of a bitch.”

To Medic: “You must be a doctor, ‘cause you just saw the extent of my patience!”

(My personal fav)

To Sniper: “Down under? More like six feet down under.”

To Spy: “If ya’ll had more gadgets for killin’, you wouldn’t need so many for hidin’.”

(We love a sassy short king)

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Medic:

(Also doesn’t have any character specific lines, but there are some gems)

“Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!”

“I do not think we brought enough body bags!”

“Aww, did the Fraulein’s have their Mittelschmerz?”

(Translation: “Did the ladies get their period cramps?” Damn Medic that is…something lol)

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Sniper:

(Maybe I’m biased but I swear he has the best lines in the game.)

“If your strategy is to build me confidence, it’s working.”  

To Soldier: “Oi, lend us your shovel so I can dig your grave!”

(Jesus Christ lol)

To Demoman: “Ace reflexes, you bomb-chuckin’ waste of good scotch!”

To Engineer: You are inventing loads of new ways to get killed by me!” (The freaking sass when he says this, it’s unparalleled)

To Medic: “Sorry, there nurse, I mistook you for an actual threat!”

(OUCH)

To another Sniper: “You’re making this so easy. I’m actually getting worse.”

To Spy: “Aww, did I get blood on your suit?”

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Spy:

“I never really was on your side.”

To Scout: “Here lies Scout, he ran fast and died a virgin.”

(Stop, stop, he’s already dead!)

To Demoman: “Here’s what I have that you don’t: a functioning liver, depth perception and a pulse!”

To Heavy: “You died as you lived…morbidly obese!” (Spy really doesn’t pull any punches lol)

To Engineer: “Did I throw a wrench into your plans?” *laughs*

To Medic: “Aww, you almost healed me to death that time!”

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Gosh this took me way longer to write than I would’ve expected so I hope somebody reads it lol

Comment below with your favourite TF2 line (or put it in the tags). I have to know!