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theninjazebra · 3 years

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21 things for 2021

Under a cut because shit is boring to people not me.

1. Got engaged at 00.01 am, 01.01.2021. Have now spent a year Being Engaged. It was mostly a lot of fun!

2. Also got pinterest for the first time for wedding planning reasons, and marvelled at how rich some people are, and how expensive even a standard Traditional Western Wedding is (thank fuck for family with big back yards, and kiwi chill). I also now want to learn how to crochet.

3. Didn't draw as much as I wanted. Probably my biggest regret of the year?

4. Didn't listen to enough music either. '22 needs more art and more music.

5. April (and May) was the Medical Drama Month. Would like to avoid Wellington hospital for another 5 years, thanks.

6. Also started studying again! Fucking hate it, but that's life. Fun thing about being An Adult is that you can study and hate it without it being an existential thing.

7. Said goodbye to second of the 3Bs. As far as putting down pets goes it was as close to perfect as you get. She was ready, but not suffering too much, and we were all in agreement and ready to say goodbye. 16 yrs is a good life for a cat.

8. Also said hello to Merlin, my awful, violent, filthy monster kitten. He's actually grown into a really lovely cat, but oof. Was rough going for a while there.

9. Belle isn't well though. She started the year with Big Allergies, and ended it with and ear infection and being (kind of, she wouldn't be xrayed) diagnosed with heart valve disease. So 2022 may be a really shit year.

10. I've been growing my very thick, very unreasonable hair long this year because I want long boho hair for my wedding. It's the longest it's ever been and I sort of love it but mostly hate it living with it and will be chopping it all off asap post wedding. Nice thing is I can donate it and still have a decent haircut.

11. The things with the lack of art is that there was so much life happening there kinda wasn't room for it in the same way as before. A pretty big reason for wanting to ditch freelancing - if I'm going to draw I want it to be for me.

12. Having said that I did knock out decent 18ish page comic draft this year. Still need to finish the art tho.

13. And after going round and round I think Wake Up, Check Phone needs to be a weird prose/comic hybrid. It's such a lonely, close story, and I don't want to lose that atmosphere to the more explicit image, or the big scenes to clumsy descriptions.

14. Still trying to work up the courage to finish Peace Day. There's a new little interlude I want to add. Just moments and details to really make the world hurt.

15. Now to actually finish any of these projects. Haha.

16. Also post-30 health fuckery. A lot of which was stress and the general decay that waits for us all. With my trusting walking companion now arthritic and with a dicky heart I'll need to get serious about making time for extra exercise. Use it or lose it, ay.

17. Home life has been weird. People leaving, lock downs, etc. Looking forward to getting some quiet and stability next year (cut to some kind of unforeseeable 2022 drama here)

18. I don't like the fashion of doom and gloom of social media this year. Not because I think life is roses or some shit, but because that unrelenting apocalyptic thinking is something I still associate with the deeply selfish myopia of mental illness (whole fucking story in that, not the time or place for it tho). General boo to all forms of social media this year. Distracts from life and actually useful pursuits. A sort of synthetic, substitute socialization and achievement.

19. But despite not seeing my friends in person much it was actually a pretty good year for keeping in contact and having good communication? Like, proper chats and ph calls etc. Going to try for more in person socializing now that covid restrictions have changed.

20. Going to also try to be more proactive about managing stress and anxiety. Simple acknowledging a problem is not the same as dealing with it.

21. 2022. Incoming. Probably a lot of more-of-the-same. Hopefully less bullshit, less drama, less freelance. More art, more music, more people. Definitely some hard times ahead (not looking forward to putting down my dog at all), and still a whole fuckin wedding to go (going to be great! But so exhausting!) And probably a honeymoon??? Covid/general unknowns willing??? And study (boo). And married life ( ❤❤❤ )

Happy new year everyone.

#myself #21 for 2021 #aside from Wider World Fuckery this year has been very transitional #a lot of stuff in progress #not a lot wrapped up #a big Middle

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noirapocalypto · 3 years

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Big order coming up, sorry I'm nosy😅

For you mi reina: 5, 9, 16, 20, 24, 28, 30, 47, 58, 62, & 85

For the V's: 4, 21, 22, 30, 47, 54, 90, & 98

No pressure tho!💚💚

MI REY OMG 😂I love you so much, thank you for this. 💕 Some of my answers are lacking, both for myself because I'm not a very interesting person and for the OC's because I don't know enough about the Cyberpunk world lore to know an exact answer 😅Hope I didn't miss any!

For me:

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda cans or soda bottles, 100%. I don't really like to drink soda from cups unless I'm at a restaurant or I'm at someone's place and they offer me a cup. IF I had to pick a cup, it would be glass over plastic.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

The smell of the beach. I like driving to our beach with the windows down because you know you're getting closer to the island area when the scent just hits you out of no where.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I never really thought about it. When sitting at my desk, I sit normally with my feet on the floor since my chair isn't too wide, but with my previous chair, I would like fold my leg under me.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

In a notebook while I'm at my desk and need to take notes. When I'm on the go, I use the Notes app on my phone.

24. favorite crystal?

Labradorite is very pretty! But I also like any sort of calcites. I like the waxy look of them. Smokey Quartz is also another.

28. five songs to describe you?

Oh boy, this is a difficult one because I have a very negative view of myself lmfao

The Unforgiven - Metallica Creep - Radiohead Dia Luna, Dia Pena - Manu Chao Me Gustas Tu - Manu Chao Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

This is the best I got, seeing as a lot of the music I listen to has almost no words 😅

30. places that you find sacred?

Honestly? Anything nature related. Mountains, wooded areas, stuff like that. There's just that vibe, it's really hard to explain.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Honestly? I like all sorts of cheese. Not at all picky, if it's cheese, I'mma eat it.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I'm a pretty good cook, my writing is pretty okay, I'm a decent crafter, and I'm a pretty quick learner.

62. seven characters you relate to?

This is gonna be my boring answer, because I don't think I have many characters I relate to 😭 But if I think of any, I'll edit the post. Sorry, I'm very boring ):

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, though fairy tales are pretty fun too.

For the OC's:

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Paola: She was charming kid, very outgoing and not shy at all. Some what smart for her own good, but otherwise, a joy to have as a student.

Paolo: Very studious, always willing to lend a helping hand, is usually the first to volunteer to present a project. Though, it's best he be seated away from his sister, else they both would be distracting the class constantly lol

Renato: A very shy and quiet boy, doesn't speak much but answers with the correct questions when called on. Doesn't cause much trouble. Excels in the arts and grades are above average.

Embry: An absolute joy to have in class, always offering to help other students and the teacher, very studious and a straight A student. Quick to make friends, but might have issues with bullies.

21. obsession from childhood?

Paola: Cartoons. Paola loves watching cartoons, even now as an adult.

Paolo: Superheroes. Paolo was obsessed with anything superhero related and still is to this day. He still collects comics.

Renato: Sketchbooks and drawing. Renato really likes to sketch and has had a sketch pad and a crayon in his hand since he was a kid.

Embry: He loved collecting weird things he would find out on his travels when his clan would move from place to place. He still does and has a box of little trinkets and stuff tucked away in the trunk of his car.

22. role model?

For the Twins: Their parents. They were good people, hard working people and the best parents a pair of kids could as for. They strive to be like them, or at least, uphold some of the ideals their parents taught them.

Renato: His uncle, Pepe. Pepe is like a father figure to Nato, a positive male influence of what a good husband and family man should be.

Embry: His grandparents. Similiar to the twins, his grandparents were very loving people and were the ones that raised him and taught him to be the good hearted person he is today.

30. places that you find sacred?

The Twins: Both of them, the chapel in Pacifica where the the player meets the Voodoo Boys for the first time. Neither are religious, but they went in there with the utmost respect.

Renato: El Padre's parish. Like the twins, he's not really religious but his family is. Plus, he deeply respects Padre and considers him a holy man...despite being a fixer.

Embry: The Badlands. He finds it oddly spiritual, being out there alone in the silence.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Embry: Whatever he can get his hands on, honestly.

Renato: He's fine with the synthetic stuff, but is willing to splurge on actual, real cheese every once in a while.

The Twins: Purely synthetic stuff, I don't think either have had real cheese in their life

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Paola: How to steal without getting caught or drawing attention to herself.

Paolo: How to hack a camera to deactivate it, the same job Paola where she had to steal something for someone else, for the first time. He was her back up.

Renato: How to hotwire a car. He was tasked to steal a car for someone, in exchange for some extra cash and a place to crash for the night.

Embry: Smuggling contraband. He didn't actually do it himself, but he was a ride along to learn and observe.

90. luckiest mistake?

Paola: She stole the wrong thing once, that ended up being worth a lot more to the client than what was originally planned.

Paolo: He kicked open the wrong door once while raiding a building he and his sister were supposed to hit, and found a kidnapped victim hidden away. So not only did he managed to save a life he didn't even know was in danger, he also earned himself (and his sister) a hefty bonus.

Renato: The golden gorilla arms he has when he's in his Oro get up, he actually found by mistake. He had actually fallen through a collapsed floor, down to the basement level. There were some containers and crates with some cyberware that was to be shipped out. Of course, he wasn't gonna let those bad boys go.

Embry: Embry ended up finding his current sniper rifle, among other supplies his clan desperately needed, by accident, when he took a wrong turn during a desperate get away drive. He found himself at an abandoned warehouse type of area. There were some bodies, of two rival gangs that had engaged in a shootout with no survivors. Finder's keepers.

98. favorite historical era?

Paola: She's absolutely fascinated by the Prehistoric area, how people went from living in caves and discovering fire for the first time, to actually having cybernetic implants installed directly into their body that can be switched out at will. Shit's crazy to her.

Paolo: The Middle Ages, particularly the "black plague" era, as morbidly dark as that is.

Renato: The Classical era, particularly ancient Greece, the foundation of philosophy, drama, poetry, and all that.

Embry: The 'Great Depression' era. History tends to repeat itself, after all.

#Nelle's stuff and things #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ʀᴇɴᴀᴛᴏ ᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴀ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴇᴍʙʀʏ ᴇʟʟɪꜱ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴘᴀᴏʟᴏ ᴠᴇʟᴀsǫᴜᴇᴢ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴘᴀᴏʟᴀ ᴠᴇʟᴀsǫᴜᴇᴢ

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n3verending16 · 4 years

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you were good to me - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

So, this is my first ever fanfic! Aah! Writing this was 100% a daunting experience for me, but I largely enjoyed writing it (posting it tho? *rapidly spams space button to align lyrics with the middle* *posts* *formatting is completely off and i have to do it all over again* *screams*). If you have any constructive criticism/ formatting tips, please comment it or send me a message ʕ •́؈•̀ ₎

Not requested, but certainly inspired by all the other oikawa x reader writer-chans out there (and a good friend of mine, yejin if you're reading this ily smkamsjskamssjk)!

caitlin and cindy ily too uwu

Based off "you were good to me"

All credits belong to their rightful owners

………………………………………………………………………………………

Lying, isn't better than silence

"I don't love you anymore."

Oikawa Tooru could feel the bitter aftertaste of his own words to you that night.

Floating, but I feel like I'm dying

One year later, and he still couldn't break off the chains that anchored him down every time he jumped for the ball in a match. He couldn't fly like he used to, the guilt in his gut pressing him down every time he looked towards the stands and you weren't there, cheering for him as you usually did. It was his choice, his fault. And he regretted it, although he wished he didn't.

Still, no matter where I go

At the end of every road

You had always been there for him before, whenever he felt he wasn't good enough. The gentle caress of your fingers through his hair and your soft eyes peering into his own chocolate irises had helped him get over the loss of the match and focus on getting even better than he was. On particularly harsh days, you sang him to sleep, the dulcet tones and lull of your voice relaxing him as he passed into a gentle slumber.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You had always been understanding of him whenever he ended his practice sessions late. You never asked for his time, knowing his passion for volleyball burned brighter than anything you'd ever seen before, and you wanted to support him. You hugged and congratulated him with a smile on your face when he won, and you comforted him when he lost, but most importantly, you were always there in his life. A constant he could trust, someone he could rely on, someone he could love. He'd been thankful for it. And yet, when he saw the successful application to the Argentinian Volleyball Team, he was hit with the truth. Oikawa was moving to a country on the other side of the world, and things would've gotten so much harder for the both of you. You deserved someone that was so much more than him, someone who would hold you at night, someone who could go on real dates with you, someone who could, and would, put their own time away for you. As much as it hurt him, he knew for your own good, he had to let you go. So he did it the way he hoped would hurt you the least.

I know it's easier to run

After everything I've done

Cut it off. Keep your emotions away from this. This is what's best for them.

"I'm moving to Argentina, and I think it's time I tell you something..."

"I don't love you anymore. We should end things."

You were good to me

Yeah, you were good to me

He still hears your quiet sobs that night sometimes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Leaving, isn't better than trying

You'd spent that night lying on the couch, crying to yourself over your boyfriend who'd just walked out on you. What had you done wrong? Were you still not good enough for him? As soon as you had began to stop, reduced to sniffles, images of his silhouetted back as he walked out the front door and the cold glint in his brown eyes as he said the words that broke your heart flashed through your mind made you start bawling all over again. Had everything that had happened between the two of you been a lie? Had your presence in his life not mattered to him as much as his presence in yours?

Growing, but I'm just growing tired

You would've liked to say you were a different person than you had been one year ago. You would've liked to be spiteful and show Oikawa Tooru, international volleyball star, that you had outgrown being lovesick and was now independent and successful, with people who truly loved you. You would've liked to tell yourself that you were so, so much better off without him. But that was a lie, and you were not one to lie to yourself.

Now I'm worried for my soul

And I'm still scared of growing old

You had, honestly, tried to get over him though. You'd made yourself pass out from drunkenness only to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and the incident more ingrained into your head. You'd busied yourself with cooking, gaming and knitting, and when that hadn't worked, considered a one-night stand from an overly amiable guy you'd just met at the corner café, after deciding against it when one of the girls standing in front of the window outside sent you two a deathly stare. You'd stacked all of his belongings and tried to burn them, until you realised your shaky hands couldn't start the lighter properly.

Even if you had forgotten him for a while, a dull, grey, reprieve from the emotions in your head, it wouldn't have been for long; the memories were everywhere. There was the book he'd accidentally spilt his bubble tea in when you snuck up behind him. There was the somewhat-lopsided drawer, a result of when it got stuck and he'd tried to force it in anyway, ending up in the sides breaking. There was the red christmas mug you'd gotten for him; only to realise he'd given you the exact same one, but green. The small bin in your room was full of milk bread wrappers. Even the study desk in the corner reminded you of days where he would try to draw something cute for you- you'd laughed and told him he had all the time in the world to improve.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

That had clearly been a lie. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to believe the words he'd said to you before he left a year ago were the truth. You had been sure that your relationship was pure, built from the ground on trust and a mutual understanding of each other- you'd respect his love for volleyball, he'd respect your desire to work harder in your career. Sure, he didn't sound like he was lying, but he was THE Oikawa Tooru- a man who held his confident and flippant façade up to the spotlights, letting the light shine on him however he pleased. You needed to know the truth, and like a burning question at the back of your mind, it never disappeared- before you contacted Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend and your former close classmate, who told you "It was about time you knew the truth". You were glad to have heard those words.

After having a long conversation with Haji (most of it was you cussing), you wanted to hug Oikawa and punch him at the same time.

One decision led to another and the next day, you were standing on an airplane one year after the breakup with a plane ticket clutched in your hands, and a ticket to the Argentina vs Spain match folded up neatly in your purse.

"Try to let him off easy, yeah? He hasn't been at his best ever since he left you. I think he still regrets it."

………………………………………………………………………………………

And I'm so used to letting go

But I don't wanna be alone

There's noise in the stadium, filled with the audience's cheers and camera shutters going off, but drowned out by the silence in his own head. Oikawa lines the ball up to serve, watching the other team, analysing their positions. "Where should I hit?" he thinks to himself. This is his chance to take another set against Spain. If he misses this one, they will have lost the match 3-1, and it would've been his fault. He can't let that happen. The whistle blows, the ball goes up, and he's doing his jump-serve again, feeling the chains around his feet ready to snap taut like always.

But then amidst the bright lights, among the screaming crowd, he sees a flash of white and teal. Time seems to stop, and he floats in the air.

Was't that his Aoba Johsai volleyball jacket from high school? The one that he'd left behind at your house?

At first, he dismissed it quickly, thinking it was another die-hard fangirl who had one made or maybe even someone from his old team, because no way in hell could you be here right now watching him play when he'd walked out of your life and caused you so much pain and heartbreak one year ago. But then he saw the black purse, with a delicate pink floral pattern and gold highlights. The one he'd gotten for you on your birthday. He meets your wide eyes, your name is on his lips as he stares at your form.

But time moves again. And he grunts as his palm makes contact with the ball, making it fly into the corner and the other team turns and gapes at where surely there was a dent in the ground from the impact. They'd taken back a set, the score was 2-2. His team cheers wildly around him. The commentators rapidly fire off about the service ace- something he hadn't been able to do for a long time.

He's still staring at you in mid-air, but then he falls, meets the ground, his legs give out from under him and everything blurs.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You stare, lips parted as he collapses, slightly rising from your seat from worry. Had his knee gotten any better from before? Would he still be okay? Surely everything he'd worked for couldn't just end from a fall... but you realised if it did, it would've been your fault. You were, after all, the one who distracted him. Something punches you in the gut as you watch him get up, and he looks at you, the expression on his face one of pure shock and something you can't quite decipher. He keeps his eyes on yours as they shrug on his national sports jacket and carry him off, and you stare into his milky chocolate irises until the doors close behind him. Then you're pushing yourself through the crowd of seated anxious girls to find him again.

God only knows where our fears go

Hearts I've broke, now my tears flow

Oikawa finds himself in the hallway staring at the azure blue sky outside the window as a flock of birds soars past. The medics fuss over him, lifting his mildly sore leg and checking it once, twice, and he absentmindedly nods at their questions. There's a commotion at the door at the end of the hallway and he hears your muffled, strained voice. "No, please! I need to see him... you don't understand..." Eyes widening, he lifts himself up and hobbles over to the door at the end of the hallway, ignoring the protests of the baffled medics and guards. He puts his hand on the handle of the door and pushes, finding you arguing with a guard on the other side of the door. He hears his name from you, your voice giving him comfort. He smiles, albeit a broken one but still, a genuine smile, before he falls, his knee giving out again.

But this time, you're there to catch him.

You'll see that I'm sorry

Cause you were good to me

You were good to me

You hold Tooru as he sobs onto your shoulder. His tears cascade down his face as he clings to you, and he knows he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve you. Why had you tried to find him, after he broke your heart a year ago? You realise you're crying too when your vision blurs and all you can sense is the warmth from his skin on yours, his smell filtering the air around you. You take a deep breath in, honey vanilla with slight mint curling into your nose. People awkwardly stand by as they watch the reunion, mindful of the emotions and rawness in the air but also aware of the need to relieve pressure from his leg a bit. Eventually, someone bites the bullet and Oikawa sits down against the wall with you on his right. "You came here from Japan." Tooru hoarsely whispers. "Why?"

Before you could answer, the door opens and his teammate pops his head in, taking note of the people standing uncomfortably around.

"Hey Tooru, are you gonna be able to play?" he speaks in Spanish. He takes sight of you, a girl he's seen somewhere before, sitting next to his friend, and pauses.

"Wait, isn't that the girl on your wallpaper? I thought you said- never mind." He carefully speaks in broken English.

"Anyways, coach says if you're still fine we can send you in." You blink as Tooru puts his arm around you, a pout evident on his face. "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to play (the medic nods along in agreement), just give me a few moments." he answers. His teammate hesitates, nods, and closes the door. Tooru turns his head and rests his head on your shoulder, his fluffy brown hair tickling your neck. You nearly want to cry at what his teammate just told said. "Oh, Tooru..."

"You still haven't answered the question," he tells you. "Iwa-chan must've told you that I left because you deserved more than someone who couldn't be here for you. I don't deserve you, y/n-chan. You deserve to be happy, and... I'm not the one." He tucks away your air behind your ear. "But now that you're here, I can't help but want to be selfish. I want us to be together. I still want you."

You can't help laughing quietly at him, the little pout forming on his face again. "Oh Tooru... you wanted me to be happy. And you thought leaving me so brashly would achieve that? You forgot one very, very important thing." You lean into his shoulder, and play with his calloused fingers.

And now I'm closing every door

Cause I'm sick of wanting more

"If I'm ever to be truly happy..." You tell him, shifting yourself so you're cupping his soft cheeks and looking into his chocolate eyes. "Then you are, absolutely, essential in my life." His heart leaps, soaring at your words. After all that time, you still...

You tut at the dreamlike, adorable expression on his face. "C'mon, Tooru. Don't cry on me now. You've still got a match to win, don't you?" He breaks himself out of his reverie as you lightly pinch his cheeks, and grins ear to ear as you begin to move back to the stands. "Wait, wait." He shrugs his volleyball jacket off his shoulders and hands it to you. "Wear this over that, I want everyone to know you're still mine." You rolls your eyes at his childish request, "Your fangirls are going to kill me, I swear," but comply nevertheless. He's still smiling as he watches his oversized jacket swish around at your mid-thigh as you walk towards the doors. Anything else could come after the match, but for now, this was good enough for him.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

For the rest of that match, for the first time, Oikawa Tooru flies. They do eventually win, 3-2. He's never felt more ecstatic as he pulls you in happily, kissing all over your face and handing you his Most Valuable Player award as you giggle from his childlike antics. The reporters rapidly take note of everything and theres a collective groan from the gaggle of fangirls somewhere, but it's you and him both in your own little world.

Swear I'm different than before

I won't hurt you anymore

Life goes on. You fly back to Japan, with a promise that he would never shut you out again. Sure, you would've preferred it if he was next to you, but you called and messaged each other so frequently that you found you had little to worry about. In rare spaces of time, he flew back to Japan to meet family and friends before spoiling you on dates, decorating your house ("Hey, we need to retake this photo! I'm even better looking now!") or cuddling on the couch together. Every relationship had its downsides, and long-distance relationships were even more a pain, but you were more than ready to take the troubles on if it meant you could still see his smiling face through the messenger call at 1am in the morning.

And you knew this time, he wouldn't stop you from trying.

Cause you were good to me

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa imagine #song fics #oikawa oneshot #tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru imagine #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu oikawa

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