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#that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color
opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year
#idk y but i suddenly realized that im an adult and could potentially buy the goth bullshit at hot topic#that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color#like i think i really wanted to be somewhere between scene and emo really#but thrn i was looking at scene outfits and im like woof. this is the kinda cringe i love. all thr fucking patterns. all thr colors#i even have thr 1nvader z1m graphic tees in my closet... i think#i just dont kno how tf to do that to my hair and also i dont have actual makeup lol#but i must be a scene kid for Halloween. i want the most ostentatious outfit. oh god im gonna have to go to the mall#i havent been to the mall in ages. i need to go to hot topic and claires. is pacsun still around? do they still sell skinny jeans?#i feel like everythings all bland now in stores. where tf do i go to get early 00s and 2010s clothes#good will maybe??? oh god. its like 3.30am and my hormones r all fucked up so i was experiencing like the type of fear you have when youre#like a little kid in a dark room by yourself. its not fair. when my hormones shift it goes: im so depressed to im full of rage ill kill u#to the world is so fucking beautiful im gonna kill myself. like in a not worrying way idk how else to express the feeling. to the type of#unhinged and undirected fear that belongs to a kid who doesnt kno shit. also lil heart palpitations and sometimes feeling like im gonna die#its bullshit. y does my body hate me? ugh. at least ive got a Halloween plan now#unrelated#oh god. dont let me cut myself bangs. im trying to grow my hair back out lol. im an emo with no bangs
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