#that don't demonize the ''wrong'' mental illness!! or the ''wrong'' responses to them!! or glorify the ''''right'''' MI's and responses!!

[butwhatifidothis]

What this fic wants me to feel about Sylvain, Ingrid, and Lysithea attacking Woobiegard in her SS vision: "Poor Woobiegard! To have her dear friends become such monstrous shells of their former selves and attack her so cruelly!" What I actually feel towards Sylvain, Ingrid, and Lysithea in that scene: "You're doing great, sweeties!" Also lol at Captain forcing Dimitri and Claude along for this map but only allowing them to be competent whenever it wouldn't make them outshine poor old Woobiegard.

The SS visions that put Ingrid and Sylvain in that light kinda like... shows off how little he thinks of Dimitri's relationships with his friends, in a way.

We're supposed to genuinely see Edelgard as the victim during her SS visions - it's obvious from the framing of the scenes, from the narration, from how "breaking destiny" is a """theme""" of this fic and SS is supposedly Edelgard and Byleth's "destinies" that need breaking, that we're supposed to feel sad for Edelgard. She's beaten to shit, her sadness and guilt and loneliness is put front and center, the ones beating the shit outta her are described as these horrible twisted versions of themselves, they are the ones the narration says betray Edelgard, etc. etc.. Ingrid and Sylvain can't be mad at Edelgard for, at that point, murdering Dimitri - and likely Felix as well - no, they are the bad guys for turning their backs on Edelgard. Oh, and also Lysithea should just be chill with Edelgard working with the people who tortured her and ruined her family. She's supposed to stay the cute, eternally loyal lil' sister for Edelgard to pat on the head and call a good girl.

Sylvain and Ingrid shouldn't be that close to Dimitri. They should want to kill Dimitri for Edelgard's sake. They should turn their back on their childhood friend, not Edelgard, because Edelgard is obviously better for them. Unintentional or not, that is the subtext Cap'n is laying down when he punishes them for daring to be mad at Edelgard for killing him.

And also, her thinking that they betrayed her means that, at minimum, Edelgard doesn't think she betrays them when she actively puts them in mortal danger by starting her war. For all her talk about how she "can't imagine anyone walking by her side" and how she "knows that her path must be a lonely one," the second people. Y'know. Leave her ass for her horrific, morally reprehensible actions, they become traitors. She "dared" to put her trust in them, and they threw it away. In the end, Edelgard thinks she's morally above everyone else, with anyone who doesn't blindly follow her down her path of bloodshed being deemed as a traitor. All her guilt and all her "recognition" for her actions gets promptly flushed down the shitter.

AND I KNOW like literally he only ham-fisted Dimitri and Claude in the chapel to make them look worse. Their presence changes literally nothing - they don't save more students than if they weren't there, they don't stop Jeralt from dying (since Claude sips on that Dumb Fuck Juice and shoots behind Myson instead of just fuckin' headshotting him, and then he gets sucked into the Void and just leaves the fight scene), they don't uncover any new information. Dimitri was just there to remind everyone that he's cRaZy, and Claude was just there to remind everyone that he's eViL. Just like the visions, just like most of Edelgard's "trauma," you take them out of the chapter entirely and literally nothing changes. We already knew the author hates Dimitri and Claude and we already know the reductive caricatures he sees them as, their presence here does nothing for anything.

They're not allowed to actually shine. Dimitri can't take on the Demonic Beasts and Claude can't try to investigate the cause for the transformation - y'know, letting them show off their strengths - because doing so means that Edelgard isn't the one doing those things.

Dimitri can't be better at taking down Demonic Beasts than Edelgard, shown by him consistently felling them in one strike, which is immensely helpful in saving the students by taking care of the problem quickly; he must reduced to something that's frankly barely better than the Beasts themselves, obviously off his rocker and obviously someone who's just soOoOoOOOo CRAZY GUYS.

Claude can't be better at tracking down what the cause of the students turning into Demonic Beasts is than Edelgard, shown by him noticing the Crest Stone fragments and being forward-thinking enough to try and grab one for research, which could potentially yield extremely vital information everyone can work with; he must be reduced to a morally bankrupt monster who'd loot from dead bodies of poor innocent students.

Cap'n has to reduce them into villainous archetypes to hide the fact that frankly, Edelgard did shit all in that chapter. She didn't fight the Demonic Beasts nearly as well as Dimitri, she doesn't do shit to figure out what's going on with the Crest Stones - or, at minimum, point Byleth in the right direction (since Edelgard would know already lmao) - like Claude, so Dimitri is a raving murder machine and Claude was only out for himself. Giving them an ounce more nuance than that would make it obvious how shit Edelgard is, so he hides that shittiness by overexaggerating certain traits of the other two lords.

And in that same vein, he has to make Sylvain and Ingrid and Lysithea look like horrible traitors to hide the fact that Edelgard is ruining their lives. She killed their best friend(s, if Felix is also dead), she ruined their countries, she threw their lives into nonstop fighting for five years - but she's so sad!!! And Ingrid and Sylvain and Lysithea are bullying her!!! We should feel bad for poor wittle wonewy Edelgard!!!

It takes a baseball bat to the head to any non-Edelstan reader of this fic, because Edelgard literally does nothing to deserve forgiveness, she never earns redemption, she never works for fuckin' anything. She just Sadges at all the """""undeserved""""" hatred flung at her and we're supposed to take that as enough of an arc for her to deserve sympathy from the reader, but no! I'm fuckin' cheerin' Sylvain and Ingrid and Lysithea on when they beat her ass into the dirt! Get rid of her! She's self-centered, she's selfish, she doesn't care about people if they don't grovel at her feet, she started a continent spanning war without even thinking she'll win it, literally throwing away the lives of countless innocent people on the chance that she might hypothetically win, and after all that she still blames everyone else when she faces the consequences of her actions! She's god-awful, and a threat to damn near everyone around her! But nope, she's the author's darling, so actually she's right and everyone else is wrong.

It's very clear that Cap'n will not let Edelgard truly be seen in any kind of negative light; people who fight against her for any reason are bad, people that can't join Edelgard's side but are better than Edelgard at something are bad, people who criticize Edelgard for the awful shit she does are bad. And that's... well. Something, for sure

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀