#that new vid of him smoking weed is killing me

[k--o--m--o--r--e--b--i]

he’s doing it for evil now

[365day2021]

Day 274

Today was kinda chill. I slept in all the way until a little after 2 and then I went to Olivia’s cause she needed help moving boxes from Mel’s. So I went there and drove her mom’s big car to Mel’s and helped moved like 5 boxes. We stopped by sonic after and she got me a corn dog and a large strawberry limeade. After that we went back and moved the boxes in her work room and then I went home. Chilled and ate some leftover cilantro lime chicken (I made rice before leaving) with rice and watched vids until like 530. Met with BZimm at gym for chest day and then after we were done I bought some weed from him for tomorrow. Just 2 grams about and then I went home and started picking off the weed (since it was super sticky and can’t use grinded or it’ll get stuck) and was texting Olivia about it and she ended up coming over. I rinsed off in the middle and then yeah we smoked when she arrived. I also started watching a show on netflix called clickbait which is about a guy who get kidnapped and murdered (kidnapped with signs that he was holding up that said he abused and killed a woman and that if the video gets 5 mil views he dies) and it was pretty interesting. We also ended up doordashing some poke from molly which was yum and we just talked and watched that. Olivia was already watching it so it wasn’t much new to her. Oh also before I had poke I also ate some meatballs and rice and a hot pocket and I still ordered poke LMAO that’s what weed be doing. But yeah she left around 10ish and I watched like 2 more episodes. I put away laundry and it’s 112 now and I’ve been watching Clint stream. He’s playing new monkeyball atm but prolly gonna sleep soon

[impulsiveinstinct]

Starving Static part10

TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM!!

It was hours before Chase came out of his bedroom, smelling of sweet musky smoke and red eyes swollen from crying, half sobbing through giggles he padded past Anti into the kitchen and grabbed a thing of cookies and flopped down in front of the couch in from of the demon. Chase watched as Anti drug a knife blade across his wrist again and again in slow lazy motions. Normally Chase would turn away at the sight but, in his current state he found his curiosity outweighing his disgust.

“Why do you do that…?” He asked, voice distant as he lazily nibbled on a cookie. Anti paused for a second before pressing the tip of the blade deep into his wrist and pulled it back out.

“Feels good.” He flexed his wrist and went back to the lazy motions, passing over the same spot several times before starting a new one. Chase stared a long moment before speaking again.

“Does it really feel good? It look like it hurts…”

Anti chuckled humorlessly and pressed the knife deeper into his abused flesh.

“And jerking off looks like it hurts if you ask me… I’m probably just used to it. Made sense when I first started it.” He sighed.

“Can I try..?” The words got the demons attention instantly. Looking over at Chase it was clear to see he was blazed out of his mind, the high didn’t stop the stream of tears falling down his cheeks as he quietly munched away at his cookies and stared at Anti with an odd expression. It didn’t bother him, he was getting bored and was about to get the man himself so he could have someone to play with. Pulling Chase up onto his lap he smiled.

“Close your eyes.”

Once again Chase felt his eyes open without his doing so but, this time he welcomed it. He wanted some distance between himself and his thoughts. His fingers adjusted their grip on the blade and he heard himself sigh.

“You’re blazing right now aren’t you? It’s messing me up too.” Chase didn’t answer he didn’t need too. He watched as he laid the blade across his wrist and slowly slid it across his pale skin in a soft lazy motion, like Anti did. He felt dazed, more so than the weed had him, the only thing that kept him focused was the thin red beads the formed in the path the knife made. Again he adjusted the knife in his hand and dragged it over the fresh line, more beads welled up and some started to trickle. It didn’t hurt, not really. He knew he was cutting himself, he saw and felt it but, the pain felt so far away as he repeated the action over and over again. New waves of  soft pleasure went through him, it was faint and  fleeting but, it was so pure in a way the high he had chased earlier hadn’t been.

"See? Feels good huh.? " His voice purred pushing the blade in deeper and dragging it across his arm with a painfully slow speed as he let of a low groan of pain. It did, he wasn't sure why or how but, the release that came with every new line made him feel so much better. It was as if all his worries trickled out with his blood. With Anti's help he repeated the actions over and over again, going slow and shallow until he had scored deep gouges into his arm. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt sick but, couldn't bring himself to care as he finally fell asleep, knife still in hand.

It wasn't until the shrill ring of Chase's phone going off in the next room that he woke up. Bolting up and stumbling into the bedroom he snatched the phone off the charger and answered it. 

 "Yeah? Hello...No. No. I was just in the show- ...What? No. Yeah. Yeah I can take him for a week or so... Are you sure..? Nonono, I wasn't trying to question YOU it just doesn't sound like something he wou- ... No! Look you can't do that! They've been together their who- WELL THEY'RE MU KIDS TOO! ...No. Stacey I'm sorry. No. I- I didn't mean to yell. There's no need to get the lawyers involved okay? I'm sorry... It's just. Splitting them up wouldn't make things better... No. You're right. You're always right... Of course. But... Look it's only until you figure out what's wrong or Sam comes too! No... I'M TELLING YOU IT WON'T HELP HIM! ...Damnit no!" Chase pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, looking and sounding defeated. "There really is no need for that. I'll take him in for a week and try to talk to him okay? Dont... Don't plan anything rash until then okay? Yes. I know... I'm sorry... yeah I'll be sure to be here, see ya soon." 

With another sigh he hung up the phone glancing down to see his arm littered in tiny shallow cuts. 

 "Anti what the fuck?!" He snapped storming out of the room to look for the demon who was perched on the kitchen table as usual. Shoving his arm into the demon's face he continued. 

"How the hell did this happen? I thought you could make me feel it without doing it!"

 "And I was fucking high as kite fucker! It ain't exactly easy to control two bodies when you're that fucked up. You did the shit to yourself I just made you think you went deeper." Anti snarled, pushing the man's arm out of his face. 

"Be happy you didn't go deeper." 

 With a frustrated groan Chase ran a nervous hand through his hair and stepped out of the room to grab a hoodie and cover up the cuts as he tried to clean up and make breakfast before Stacey showed up. It wasn't a half hour later the door bell rang. Pushing past Anti, he opened the door and welcomed a young kid inside. 

 "Hey Gray! Come on in! I got breakfast all made up and then we can just take it easy and chill all day okay bud?" "Sure." The kid mumbled setting his backpack off to the side and huffing. 

 "Mom's pissed at you." 

 "Language! And she's pissed at you too so I'd watch it." Chase snipped back before sighing and checking the kitchen for Anti before leading Grayson in. "Can... Can we not do this? I've missed you so much and I know you've been having a hard time so can we just... Take it easy?"

“Sure... Uncle Jack!” The boy cried running into the spitting image of Jack that winced as Gray wrapped his arms around his waist and stared at chase with feral panicked eyes.

“Hey! Hows’s my Bouncing Baby Boy?” The doppelganger asked mimicking Jack perfectly even going as far to and a couple little bounces as he did so, mush to Gray’s amusement. 

“Not so  good... Mom won’t let me stay with Sam anymore.” He sighed.

“What’s up with that Lil’ Dude? “ Chase asked carefully leading his son away from the demon posing as Jack and to the table.

“Nothing.” The ten year old said defensively.

“Nothing?”

“No! It’s not important. Hows Youtube Uncle Jack? Any cool new vids?” Chase bit his lip and fought the defeated sigh that was rising in him. His kids had learned to resent him. He was struggling with his carrier and it showed. 

“Awe come on now! I cant be tellin’ you any spoilers! That’d ruin the fun!” Anti smiled and laughed and Chase felt his skin crawl. How could he do that? Just cast himself aside and become Jack so completely that it was nearly impossible to tell the difference. Doing his best to eat Chase listened as his son got along with a murderous demon better than he did with him. It was like that the entire day really. Grayson lead Anti-Jack by the hand to play games and sit with him while they watched movies chattering nonstop about idle things, only speaking with his father when he wanted something. It wasn't until Chase had put him to bed did the man finally break. His life was unraveling, the love of his life had come to hate him, his children no longer looked up to him and a wicked creature, one hellbent on killing everyone close to him had somehow managed to fill the slot of male role model in his son’s life. Without changing out of his clothes Chase fell into bed, fighting the urge to break down and cry again.

“Your kid needs to lay off on touching so much.” Anti hissed padding in close behind him, still posing as Jack.

“Jack doesn’t care when they do it.” Chase snipped. The doppelganger sighed and pulled off his shirt and flopped into bed beside him.

“And you want me to be like him?”  The was something odd in his tone as he asked, Chase couldn't read it so he chose to stay silent staring at the false image and hoping it would go away and leave him be for the night. the air filled with a static hum and the out line of Anti’s false form flickered and pulsed in slow soft patterns. Despite himself Chase found himself completely relaxed when the demon pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“What do you want Chase?” He asked, resting his forehead against his, arms resting on either side of his head. Even with him knowing better it was hard to believe that the man staring down at him was Antisepticeye, a demon who had tormented those he held dear. His voice was so gentle, he didn't move as he watched Chase, waiting calmly for his answer and only trembled as Chase wrapped his arms around his neck and held him close, crying as he did so.

“I-I can’t Jack.” He sobbed clinging to the doppelganger.

“I cant take this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to keep this up. “ He continued as Jack- Anti, whoever it was who held him pressed gentle kisses to his face.

“It’s okay. I believe in you and it’ll be okay. Maybe not today or next week even but, brighter days are ahead and I believe in you... so hang in there okay?”

Chase shook his head. He was a failure, his own son had disregarded him, as if he was a stranger. 

“I can’t. Jack I can’t... He hates me. Stacey hates me... I c-”

“What do you want me to do?”

Again Chase was silent.

“Make it stop.”

@myhomosexuallyfakeromance

@corruptedmetadata

@zeddlocket

@neontwizzlervioletmacaroni3

@system-demon