#that said: it’s exhausting to constantly see this adult man written like a teenage girl in high school

[king0fcrows]

.

[sigynthevictorious]

Reunited?

Bit of filler because it's stuck in my head 😂 @naganye

Nine months after Aradir’s ‘death’ 

Not a day went past where Valka didn’t think of Aradir, she no longer cried everyday but the ache remained. For a moment it felt as if she had everything, but as quickly as their love blossomed, it was taken just as quickly. In a day everything had crumbled around her, now all she had to remember that he was even real were a few photographs and the child that stirred within her belly. 

It hadn’t been easy, everything seemed to happen at once and she had lost count of the amount of arguments and lectures she had been given by her father. Of course neither of her parents would ever kick her out, but the tension was heavy. 

Her room, once filled with countless musical instruments that had now been sold, was now adorned with various baby furnishings. The crib was set up where her desk and keyboard once stood and her extensive wardrobe was sacrificed for baby grows and bibs. She missed her old life, part of her didn’t want this. She was still young, and now unable to finish college with her friends she felt as if she had nothing that was her own. Occasionally she resented Aradir and her choices, but as quickly as those feelings came, they were just as quickly replaced by pangs of guilt and sorrow. Both for herself, him and the fact their child would never meet their father and that Aradir was never given the chance to be told that he had a proper little family waiting for him. 

Her feelings of sorrow and the realisation that he wasn’t here with her only intensified the morning her waters broke. Her mother was beyond reassuring and helpful, while she was saddened this had happened to her youngest child she supported her the entire time so she was not alone. So as the contractions grew closer and Valka was admitted to hospital, she hardly let go of her mother’s hand. 

The pain was unbearable, she couldn’t help but scream and cry through every contraction as she felt as if she were being ripped apart. Too far gone for an epidural she could do little else but pray the child came quickly. Which thankfully it did. 

After getting slightly stuck, soon a strong cry filled the room and a bright pink screaming child was placed upon Valka’s chest. In that moment nothing else mattered, as she looked into the face of her child she knew she had made the right decision and was utterly devoted to them. 

“It’s a boy,” the midwife confirmed. 

“A boy” Valka sighed, exhausted but elated as she held her son, drying him off with a blanket and pressing a kiss to his fair forehead. 

Valka spent almost every day staring at her son, he was so perfect. “I wish you could meet your daddy” she sighed, rocking him in her arms before crying as he opened his pale eyes at her. “I think he would have loved you so much,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes. “He was funny, kind, handsome and so, so brave, just like you will be,” she continued, “and I loved him, and I promise I’ll tell you all about him when you’re older.” she promised. “Parker Aradir Noreth” she cooed, rather liking the name as it rolled off her tongue. 

---

Three years after Aradir’s ‘death’

Every day was a delight, well almost, as Parker grew. He was such a happy child, a mop of bright orange hair covered his head and his pale eyes gleamed with mischief constantly. 

Still living with her parents, Parker was doted upon by his mother, grandparents and uncle when he came to visit. Everyone that met him adored him, even when he started daycare and nursery he seemed to make friends with all the other children with ease. Valka was immensely proud, her thoughts of Aradir lessened but every so often she would see her son laughing on the swing set and be reminded of her lost love. 

---

Seven years after Aradir’s ‘death’

Parker thrived at school, top of his class and a well liked figure amongst the other students. Valka managed to finish college and with the support of her parents got her university degree too. Working at a publishing house as a translator she loved her life. Now Parker was growing up she even moved into her own flat and started playing music again in the evenings. Everything seemed to be falling into place. 

“Mum, I need some help” Parker said one evening, sitting up at the dining table whilst going through his homework. “We have to make a family tree for history, and grandpa gave me lots of things but...everyone writes about both their mummy and daddy. What should I put for my dad?” he asked nervously, not wanting to potentially upset his mother. He knew little about his father, only that he was a soldier. But now it seemed he was at that age where he wanted to know more. 

Valka dried her hands and stepped away from the washing up, her heart both warming and sinking at the question. “Well, I don’t know a lot of things. But I’m sure we can put something together” she agreed, going to her bedroom for a moment and coming back out with a shoe box. 

“Now, we can copy some of these if you want and stick them in” she explained as she opened the box. A collection of photographs and momentos filled it. The cinema ticket from their first date, the recipes he had written for her, pictures of their dates and a CD filled with the songs she had written for Aradir. “This was him, he was an orphan so I don’t know anything about the rest of his family. He grew up in care” she began, placing a picture of Aradir in his uniform in front of her son. 

“Like the children that nanny looks after?” Parker asked, picking up the picture to get a better look at the pale eyed stranger. 

“Yes, just like them. Then, he joined the army and became one of the youngest ever lieutenants” she continued proudly, smiling as she watched Parker’s pale eyes examine the photo. “You have his eyes, and you’ll be tall like him too” she explained whilst looking at the photo of her and Aradir on their second date, just after they became ‘official’. “Not long after we met, he had to go away with the army to another country. Now you have to remember that sometimes bad things happen, even to the bravest of people and well, he was in an accident, and he died out there” she tenderly explained so Parker could understand. 

The young boy nodded, glancing at his mother before looking back at the photograph. “Can I keep this?” he asked, to which his surprised mother agreed. She helped him write out the family tree and added a bit of artistic flair to it. It did look rather lopsided, with her enormous family detailed on one side, then with the lonely Aradir on the other it was upsetting. But she was proud he was there. 

“I wish I had a dad,” Parker said as they finished, “one that was here.” 

The words cut Valka and played on her mind for weeks after. Maybe she had been selfish in not giving him a fatherly role model, but she had never had any desire to get into another relationship. But perhaps it was time she did, at least for Parker’s sake. 

---

Ten years after Aradir’s ‘death’ 

There were plenty of suitors, but as soon as they heard about Parker they all quickly left, not wanting to get involved with a woman who had a child. But there was one who stayed. Derek was nice enough, he came from an army background too and was conventionally handsome and seemed genuinely interested in Parker. Most importantly Parker liked him too. She didn’t feel for him the same way she had with Aradir, but maybe that was part of growing up? A teenage romance surely wasn’t the same as an adult one? So after a couple years together, she agreed to marry him.It felt like the right thing to do. And he was very insistent. 

The ring was a beautiful vintage art deco emerald and diamond design, to match her eyes apparently, and Derek was adamant no expense was to be spared for their big day. Valka was excited, but not as overjoyed as she had always imagined she would be. Surely that would change once she got her dress she thought, and when it didn’t then perhaps once she got the cake things would fall into place. 

She searched through various bakeries, getting quotes and going to tasting sessions but nothing took her fancy until Derek suggested one that was run by ex-forces members and how it would mean a lot to him. She let Derek arrange a cake tasting appointment with them and actually felt rather excited. Derek was running late from work so she took Parker with her instead, after all he fancied himself quite the connoisseur when it came to eating and cooking. Just like his father. 

“Can I get a gingerbread man?” Parker asked as he walked hand in hand with Valka into the quaint bakery, his pale eyes lighting up at the cabinets filled with various sweet treats. 

“If you’re good and they have some then yes” she agreed, smiling as she admired the bakery before going to the till. “Hi, I’m here for a cake tasting. It’s under the name Derek Henderson” she explained, the girl behind the counter nodded and went out back, explaining she was just going to fetch the owner for her. 

Valka knelt beside Parker as they admired some of the beautiful pastries, Parker making an ever changing list of what he wanted to try. Tucking some of her now short hair behind her ear she too made a wish list of what she wanted and seeing that they made banana splits upon request made her feel it was some kind of fate she came here. 

“He’ll be out in a moment” the sales assistant said when she came back out, but when Valka turned upon hearing the footsteps come out from the kitchen she froze in her place as if she had just seen a ghost. 

“Aradir?” 

[anotheronechicagobog]

The Heroic Heralds of the Hermann Horde

Part 1

written by: @anotheronechicagobog​

Warnings: swearing, tension, parental issues

 A/N: You should read my fic ‘Tylenol and Tequila’ part three for some relationships to make sense but it can be read without having done so, the story focuses mainly on the Hermann family (or Hermann Horde as I have dubbed them) but there’s some stellaride and upstead in here as well.

Being one out of five kids was exhausting. There were pros and cons that they all had to deal with. Lee Henry, Luke, and Annabelle got new clothes, Lee Henry because he was the oldest, Luke because hand me downs were too worn when they got to him, and Annabelle because she was the only girl. Kenny, Luke, Max, and Annabelle got away with pretty much everything because they didn’t have to set an example (and the only times they did get in trouble usually had more to with a bad call their dad had than anything else). Kenny was unintentionally favoured by their dad more because he has made it very clear he wants to be a firefighter like his dad. Max was favoured by their mom because of his traumatic birth. Kenny, Luke, and Max were closer because Lee Henry was the firstborn and not only had Cindy and Christopher decided to wait a few years before having more kids but also because he had to be the responsible older brother/third parent most of the time, his parents hadn’t intended for that to happen and they felt guilty about it sometimes, but they needed his help and made sure he got at least an hour of free time (this didn’t include homework or chores) a day. Annabelle felt left out frequently because she was the only girl and while she didn’t fit the girly girl mould, she just didn’t share a lot of interests or societal problems with her brothers. So the Hermann’s were their own unique brand of love and chaos, and they were alright with that. 

Lee Henry had gotten a part-time job for Friday nights and weekends as a lifeguard. People liked to joke that lifesaving ran in the family, but that wasn’t the case. Lee didn’t want to ever rush into a burning building, he never wanted to let worry and fear linger over his family’s heads day after day. Wondering if every unexpected knock on the door or phone call was a death notice or call to the hospital. He didn’t resent his dad for his career, but it had affected a lot of his life choices. The reason he became a lifeguard was because when he was 10, almost 11, his dad fell through the floor of a burning building.

He remembers the phone ringing, wondering if it was Susan from his granna’s quilting club, or Kraken (Karen) from the PTA. His mom answered with a cheerful hello but when she made no other noise and the room suddenly felt thick, he looked up, and he saw his mom’s face. She had gotten so pale he could see her veins, her eyes were wet and had sunken in, her mouth moving like she was screaming so loud it would shatter windows but nothing was coming out, and then she collapsed. Her knees just gave out underneath her. Lee jumped up to try and keep his mom from falling on the floor. He was too weak to catch her so they landed together on the hardwood together with a thump. She still couldn’t say anything, she started shaking, so Lee grabbed the phone. “-Ms. Hermann? Are you still there? Did you hear me? Your husband fell through the floor of a burning building, he’s on transport to the hospital-”

“In ambulance sixty-one?”

“... I’m sorry who am I speaking to?”

“Lee Henry Hermann, son of Christopher and Cindy Hermann. Is my dad being taken to the hospital in ambulance sixty-one?”

“Yes, but I should really-”

“Which hospital?”

“Lakeshore medical centre, I should really speak to-”

“We’re on our way.” He hung up, remembering the words his dad has said to him a thousand times, ‘if you’re in a dangerous situation do everything you can to stay calm, you can make things worse if you panic’. “Hello, yellow taxi? I need a cab to take five people, one adult and four kids, to Lakeshore medical centre. My Dad got hurt and mom can’t speak.” It was a flurry of running and car seats and firefighter turn out gear that wasn’t his dad’s. That wasn’t cool anymore. That he couldn’t stand to look at or smell. So when no one was looking he got up and, calmly, walked to a closet. He walked inside, closed the door, and let it all out. He cried, muffled his screams with his forearms. He ruthlessly scratched his arms, and hit himself. In the head, chest, thighs, feet. He knew right then, from the look on his mother’s face, from the grimness behind uncle Randy’s eyes, from the tearing feeling in his chest, he could never do it. He could never be a firefighter.

When he returned to the group, his long-sleeved shirt was rolled down and he’d stopped at the bathroom before heading to the cafeteria to make sure he looked okay. He was carrying two plastic bags that were filled to the brim with sandwiches and water bottles. He was spotted by uncle Randy first. “Lee Henry! There you are, what’ve you got there?”

“Some food and water, I figured we’d all need something to eat and drink, we might be here a while after all.”

“Yeah... Hey, I heard that you helped get everyone here, and you’ve been really calm and level-headed throughout this whole thing. You’ve done really well, why don’t you sit down and we’ll keep you company til we hear some news about your dad? Severide can pass around the grub, okay?” Severide made his way over to the oldest Hermann child and gave him a proud smile. “I for one, am not even remotely surprised that you’re so calm. Your old man is a firefighter, remaining calm in stressful situations and helping others is in your blood. Should we be expecting another Hermann at 51?” Lee felt his heart sink into his gut, but thankfully Boden called for all the members of 51 to have a talk in one section of the ER before Lee could answer.

Lee took one last walk around the pool, to make sure he hadn’t missed any puddles or items when cleaning the deck while the last of the stragglers got out of the pool and the stands when he heard a loud crack. He whipped his head around and found a teen about his age lying on the floor at the bottom of the stands. He rushed over and methodically went over his injuries, calling out orders to the other lifeguards and people around him. He and Kylie got the guy on their backboard and his neck stabilized. The paramedics arrived quickly. “Lee Henry?”

“Hey Brett, so we have a teenage male, unsure of age or name, with a head laceration, possible neck trauma, and loss of consciousness. He fell off the stands and hasn’t so much as opened his eyes, one of the other lifeguards went through the change rooms to see if there was anyone waiting for him but they couldn’t find anyone. I noticed him come in a couple of hours ago, but he didn’t socialize with or appear to have come with anyone. He just came in and sat down at the top.”

“Alright, well you did a good job, we’ve got it from here.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning he was met by his dad, smiling from ear to ear. ”There's my boy.” Christopher began patting Lee Henry on the back. ”Brett said you were amazing, guess you'll be joining me at 51 pretty soon, huh? And tonight we are going to celebrate, the entire firehouse is coming over and we're gonna do a pot luck.”

Lee Henry couldn't get a word in edgewise, just sighed as his dad walked away, over the moon. Lee Henry finished getting ready under the concerned eyes of his mother, who had witnessed the tension in his shoulders and fine line his lips went into. ”Are you okay, honey?”

”Yeah, I'm great. I'll see you after work.” He gave his mom a kiss on the cheek, grabbed his duffle and headed for the station.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lee felt his stomach sink when he recognized the extra cars cluttering the street in from of his house. He rolled his shoulders back at the sound of heavy laughter coming from inside, knowing it was better just to face it head on. He was met with the smell of various kinds of foods, and was met with the sound of rowdy firefighters. ”Hey Herm, the guest of honour had finally arrived. Lee Henry, come over here!”

”Hey guys.” Lee spent the next two hours, after working a 10 hour shift of a labour intensive job, bearing everyone’s comments about the ’next generation of Hermann firefighters’, and constantly being pulled away from the food table! Donna made pallea and his mom made brownies! He just wanted to eat!

He was tired, hungry, and emotionally worn out when uncle Kelly pulled him aside. ”Hey, Lee, I didn't want to say this to your dad before you, but I made a couple calls, and was able to get you a spot at the academy for next fall if you want it. It'll be great-”

”I don't want to be a firefighter.”

”What?”

”I haven't since I was ten.”

”Lee, you don't have to-”

”I... It's just a personal choice.”

”But your dad... He thinks you want to be a firefighter.”

”He never lets me get a word in, just rambles until he has to leave for shift or Molly's.”

”What do you want to be then?”

”A doctor.”

”Ha, you’re a healer not a smokeater, huh?”

”Don’t laugh, you'll need someone to fix up your self-destructive ass when you fall through a floor in a burning house.” Lee just couldn't take it anymore, his emotions had boiled over, so he’d snapped. And now he needed to leave so that he didn't have to watch his uncle put all the dots together right in front of him.

----------------------

He was hungry and in need of comfort. Both from food and people. So when Kylie jogged out of his house after him, he was grateful. They caught the el downtown and went to Bartolli’s, a favourite restaurant of the Hermann’s. ”You were pretty loud, when you were talking to Kelly, just so you know.”

He sighed. ”I figured. I texted my mom before we got to the station, told her where we were going, mostly to avoid her worrying, but I fully expect someone to show up.”

”It does seem like something anyone at 51 would do, they are very involved in each other's lives.”

”Hey, you've been dealing with this for a few months, I've been dealing with it my whole life.” Their conversation flowed freely, mixed with milkshakes and deep-dish pizza. 

”Do you know what you want to do when you get out of high school?”

”Definitely something that helps people, but I don't think I want to be a firefighter either. Kelly and Stella worry about me just going to school, I can't imagine how they'd feel if I was running into burning buildings! They'd probably only be okay with it if I was at 51 with them, and while I love them, I don't love them that much. I think something in law.”

”The only issue for us is how to pay for all that.”      

“We could join the military, but that does kinda defeat the purpose of not being firefighters...”

“Lee Henry? Kylie?”

“Detective Upton and Halstead, hi.”

“What are you two doing here? I thought that 51 was celebrating a big save you made.”

“Yeah, but it just ended up being a firefighter thing, you know how it goes, especially because apparently, you guys do the same thing.”

“Yeah, we do...”

“Well,” Halstead gave a smirk and a nod, “you two enjoy your pizza.”

“Thanks,” Kylie piped up, having not spoken much with the detectives, “and you two have fun on your date.” Lee and Kylie turned to go back to their meal, but noticed the frozen body language and panicked expressions of the two adults. They looked at each other, concerned, before Lee decided to bite the bullet. “Uh, guys? Are you okay? Should we call the other Halstead?”

“We’re not dating.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“... Yesssssss.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“Have a nice night kids.” Upstead (what they were to be referred to as according to his mom) turned and bolted out of the restaurant, blushes and pizza in tow. “I really hope that they sort out their feelings, it’s getting a little exhausting and I don’t even spend that much time around them!”

“Amen to that.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Lee returned home it was late, and only the porch and living room lights were on. He entered the quiet house alone, having dropped Kylie off at her apartment before returning home himself. He locked the door, turned off the porch light, and went straight to the living room knowing that it was better to face his dead head-on than beat around the bush. “Dad.”

“Lee Henry.”

“We need to talk.”

“Apparently we do.”

“I don’t want to be a firefighter.”

“Well, I heard that pretty loud and clear. It was too loud to miss. You know I just don’t understand-”

“October 10th, 2012.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and uncle Matt fell through the floor of a burning house. Your ADSU went off cause the fall knocked you unconscious. I’ve heard Gabby say that that was one of the scariest days of her life. And I remembered you comforted her when she visited you in the hospital. But you didn’t comfort me-”

“Lee-”

“No. Let me speak for once. I was ten years old. And I had to call the cab company, and get everyone in the car, and keep everyone together, and make sure everyone was eating, and check-in with the nurses about your condition, and get school stuff organized for Luke, Max, and Annabelle, and make all the meals for a week, and get Granna and Grandad on an earlier flight back to Chicago, and manage your medication because mom was too stressed to. Your voice was ringing through my head the entire time, ‘if you’re in a dangerous situation do everything you can to stay calm, you can make things worse if you panic’. All that I was told that miserable week was that I was destined to be a firefighter like you. But I was just listening to you, and I realized that being a firefighter was the absolute last thing I want to be when I get older. I had always known in the back of my mind that your job was dangerous, but it didn’t hit me until that day, not even when uncle Andy died. I just... I had my blinders ripped off, and I can’t ignore the terror I feel every time you leave for work. And I see mom and the others feel it too now that there have been more close calls, and I can’t do it. I want you to know that I don’t resent you for it in any way, but I can’t do that to my friends and family. I can’t let the people in my life feel like they’re saying goodbye to me every time I go to work. And I’ve tried to tell you, but I can never get a word in.”

“I tend to do that apparently. Look, I’ll admit there’s a part of me that’s always wanted you kids to follow in my footsteps, but that is a very small part of me. I am actually really happy that you don’t want to be a firefighter because I know that I don’t have the strength to worry about you or any of the others day after day. It takes a special breed of people to do that, and I don’t come from it. If you want to be a doc, that’s great. I know that you’re more than capable and I’m really proud of you for being able to recognize that. I’m also really sorry. That you had to be so brave so young. Need you to know that I love you, that I am so proud of you, and that I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as I should have been.” Lee had never, ever, seen his dad cry. Christopher Hermann was always strong and firm. But here he was crying in front of his eldest son, exposing all of his vulnerable emotions to him. Cindy found them forty minutes later full-on bawling and clinging to each other as though their lives depended on it. Finally making peace with each other.

[bforbookslut]

ARC Review: Ferocious by Paula Stokes

Thank you to Tor Teen for providing me this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the printed edition.

I have given this book ☆☆☆☆. It is the second installment in the Vicarious duology. It generally belongs to the Contemporary Young Adult genre but also features elements of Science-Fiction, Romance and Spy fiction. Tor Teen publishes it. It is published 15th August 2017.

The blurb reads:

“Paula Stokes returns to the world of Vicarious in this sequel, a high-action psychological thriller with a protagonist out for vengeance.

When Winter Kim finds out that her sister is dead and that she has a brother she never knew about, only two things matter—finding what’s left of her family and killing the man who destroyed her life. Her mission leads her from St. Louis to Los Angeles back to South Korea, where she grew up.

Things get increasingly dangerous once Winter arrives in Seoul. Aided by her friends Jesse and Sebastian, Winter attempts to infiltrate an international corporation to get close to her target, a nefarious businessman named Kyung. But keeping her last remaining loved ones out of the line of fire proves difficult, and when all seems to be lost, Winter must face one last devastating decision: is revenge worth sacrificing everything for? Or can she find a spark of hope in the darkness that threatens to engulf her?”

Add to Goodreads | Read my review of Vicarious (coming soon) |

Ferocious releases today! And though my timeline says this should have been done and ready a couple of days ago but I’ve had a couple of medical emergencies to deal with.

Verdict:

Ferocious is slaying the 2017 publications game. It picks off immediately where Vicarious left off. While the plot in the first installment is centered around Winter finding out about how Rose died and finding her killer and then learning that she has a dissociative disorder, Ferocious is what Winter does next. It’s about avenging Rose and Gideon, it’s about coming full circle and going back to the events and people that brought the sisters into the United States, it’s about exorcising your demons and it’s about moving forward.

Ferocious is incredibly fast-paced, moving exactly like a double-episode special of Criminal Minds. It’s a lot of spy work, kicking ass, going undercover, using her senses (we’ll get to that in a bit) and basically accepting all the help that she rejected initially. Except, this time, they’re in Korea! Yes, you read that right. Ferocious is set mainly in Korea and I loved how there were little details about the culture and people included from Winter’s love for Korean food, the cosy guesthouses, different districts and their unique personalities and more. I think one of the biggest things that sets Ferocious apart from Vicarious as a stronger and more equipped Winter is knowing that she has multiple personalities. And seeing her utilise them, whether she expects it or not. I would have definitely loved to see a lot more of her disorder explained and broken down instead of just experienced like a film. But I do very much love that Winter, Jesse and Bas are now a team and they trust each other. They’re the only family that they have now that Gideon is gone. I also think it’s beautiful that Ferocious really explores Winter’s aversion to intimacy and how she develops her relationship with Jesse, allowing him to slowly come closer and really let him support her.

To break it down,

[may contain spoilers]

The Good:

Winter is a lot more aware of the kind of person she is and wants to be. She takes charge but is also willing to work in a team and share strength. I think that’s the strongest quality anyone could have.

It’s set in Korea. Although it’s not written by a Korean, and neither am I Korean so I have no right to speak about it, I think it was well-done and although, viewed slightly through a white-person’s lens, it wasn’t overly fetishized (see next section for more info on this) and a lot of the plot and story kept away from Korean culture and focused on it as a setting.

Teamwork!!! I love teamwork and I love solitary characters engage themselves as part of a team and see the value and strength in having people to support and lift you up.

I’m a sucker for romance so Jesse and Winter’s romance is bomb-diggity because unlike other YA romances, theirs took time to build. There first needed to be trust and understanding and caring and building boundaries and taking tiny steps. It’s not the mad head-long rush into hearts and kisses and sex. There are a lot of cute moments of them just holding each other and listening to heartbeats which is so powerful.

Winter is Korean and Jesse’s parents are from Mexico, so hello POC romances.

I like that mental illnesses, particularly Winter’s condition, are being brought to light and treated seriously. I’m not a fan of it being used as a plot device but the fact that it’s being brought up and it’s not a punchline, checks a box in my list. I particularly love that she sought professional help in the end because it’s so important to see it as a sickness, not something to be brushed off.

I like how Gideon’s character evolves eventhough he’s gone. Spoiler alert, bitches.

The Bad:

While the author has said she’s spent a good amount of her life in Korean, I find that placing your MC’s nationality and place of origin as something Asian becomes a point of orientalism because no matter how much time you’ve spent in for example, Korea, you’ll never be truly Korean because you can’t understand what it’s like to be Korean and hence, you’d be unable to capture what a Korean person is like. It’s handled well in Ferocious and Vicarious but it still bothers me. Winter, Rose and Gideon end up feeling very white-coded and the audience needs constant reminder that they’re not white girls, they’re pure Korean people. For example, readers are constantly reminded that Winter loves to eat gimbap, a type of Korean food, and that her name isn’t really Winter: it’s Ha Neul.

It’s too dark and gritty to be considered Young Adult. I’d definitely place it at New Adult. While the writing style feels very YA, easy to digest and uncomplicated, the subject matter (with Rose and Winter being survivors of sex trafficking) is overtly mature and the actions that Winter has taken, particularly flying halfway across the world to seek revenge and retribution seems actions of an adult, not a teenager. Although, Winter sits on the cusp between seventeen and eighteen.

It should come with trigger warnings sighs it’s 2017 why don’t books have these

More light could have been shed on dissociative disorders. Winter’s disorder manifests itself by taking over her senses when she desperately needs them and the chapters indicate which personality is in charge, which is great. But, it felt too much like a film. Her personalities seem to appear on command and when she really needs them rather than interrupting her life (except in the past) and in fact, saving her life. I get that YA books shouldn’t teach a lesson but if a mental illness was to be included and made a major part of the story, I’d love to see it handled a little better.

The writing is a little stifled. It’s harder to make an emotional connection with Winter. Rather, I am watching her life unfold before our eyes and going along with the ride. It’s like watching a movie.

Conclusion:

Ferocious is an awesome close to the Vicarious duology, tying up loose ends and answering questions readers had in the first installment. Winter is stronger and more badass this time around, and a lot more vulnerable. It’s incredibly fast and the action comes at you from every corner. I refused to put it down until my eyes literally shed tears because I was so exhausted. I think it’s a point that a lot of reviewers make that Ferocious (and Vicarious) is a little too old to be categorised into YA but we’re all equipped to handle such dark matters. Get Ferocious now and witness the conclusion to this incredibly dark, gritty and raw story.