#that time i went stabby stab with a knife in my butt

[mexican-texican]

Me forgetting it's the Ides of March and scrolling through Tumblr thinking my mutuals collectively got together to make fun of me for stabbing myself 😭

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Part Two

W! Drinking, stabby stab, attempted Non C but it does not happen .

Touya,21.The drunk Future King whose only interest is whores and brothels

Natsuo.18. The Middle Sibling who is just like his father

Shoto.16.the youngest and most reserved, has no interest in marriage but would like a companion

Reader is a rebellious princess in a falling Kingdom and is sent off to live with the Todorokis in hopes of marriage to save her family. But Reader has other plans in mind.

tags/ @no-post-ghost @yoonbbyboy @pinkjellychan @squeaky-ducky​

You wasted no time ditching the family for the courtyard after dashing out of the carriage and right past Enji, you were over Natsuo and his creepy behaviour and over this whole arrangement.  With a groan you stopped next to some trees and slipped between two large oaks to conceal yourself for a minute. You sat down hugging your knees panting slightly. It was a pretty courtyard, full of flowers funny enough since only men seemed to lived in this rotten castle. 

 So what now? The King would not be happy at your actions but if he tried to hurt you it would hinder his plans for his precious sons. So you were safe for the most part. The oldest, Touya did not really seem interested in courting you anyway, to focused on his drinking and keeping his brother in line.  

 The thought of Natsuo made you gag and cough a bit, what an awful person and he's gonna be King eventually? Maybe you could cut his balls off to save whoever marries him.  Sighing you relaxed against the tree letting one leg down admiring the clouds that rolled on by, the sky seemed more blue here than at your Kingdom too you, weird. 

 “Uhm…?” said a voice, it sounded skittish.

You rolled your head to the left to see a boy about Shotos age looking at you, he had royal clothes on and had crazy green hair. You tilted your head at this boy and brought your legs down so you were criss cross. 

 “Yes?” you asked curiously

“Is Shoto around?”

“I think so , the main entrance.”

“O-oh uh, okay, i can wait here then. May i sit by you? My names Izuku of Midoriya Manor”

“Sure kid,” you scooted over a bit for him to join you.”Y/n of Alastar”

“Oh thanks !” he sat by you but seemed to be looking around

“Something on your mind?”

“Oh uh n-no, im just waiting for Shoto, his father does not a-aprove of me so we have too …” he trailed off rubbing the back of his head.

“Hm? Well your safe with me kid, i doubt that big ape approves of me too.”

“Are you to be wed?”

“Sadly.”

“Uh- uhm!,” he rubbed his hands together. “You seem really cool and can protect yourself..” he told you, pointing to the knife on your person. “Just watch out for the middle sibling okay?”

You got up patting your butt free of dirt and Shoto squeezed through the trees to see you and Izuku.  Shoto hugged Izuku and the two sighed with relief to see each other. 

“y/n. Touya wants to see you to show you around, hes at the stables, around the corner from here”

“Okay Shoto, izuku was waiting for you, i never saw him though.”

 The youngest gave you a gentle smile and a nod as thanks. 

**

Squeezing back through the trees you strolled around the courtyard admiring the flowers before meeting up with Touya. No sign of the King or his creepy son , the courtyard had a large apple tree in its center but it only had one apple on it and it looked to be rotten which was weird. It's definitely apple season. Hm.  thinking nothing of it you made your way around the large castle to see the stables and Touya petting a large black and white mare of the face in long strokes.

“Whos a pretty girl ? you you you” he cooed at the sleepy horse.

“Dont take you for a animal lover” you joked walking up to him. “Wheres idiot 1 and 2?”

“My father is giving Natsuo a talking to so im trusted to show you around” he pointed to the castle “thats the castle” he pointed to a stray window at the top “thats your room”

“A five star tour i see”  you pet the horse admiring its coat. “ lovely colors”

“Reminds me of my life from before” he told you while taking out his flask to drink.

“Hm? Whats that mean? And whos this Izuku that was sneaking around?”

Touya sat down in a empty stable drinking more before answering you. “Thats Shotos boyfriend, dont tell anyone or i will kill you myself. Im the only one who knows”

“i wouldn't do that Touya, he said Enji does not approve of him?”

“Yep” he fell into some hay drinking more. “They want to leave when they turn 18 and have a farm, im helping make it happen”

You sat down by the hay watching this man drink his life away , he had not one care in the world, unless it was Shoto related. 

*

Some time passed and you and Touya were sharing the flask now.

“So .. what did you mean by your life from before?”

“Mmmm… i was going to be a father, at least.. Thats what i was told.” he sat up pushing his hair outta his face. She was a brothel worker and i had gotten her pregnant.” 

 You listened to him taking note of the hint of sadness in his voice.

“I was excited, i wanted to be a dad.” he told you looking over at the horse.”she had black and white hair, i called her my little… berry.., i did everything right, i told her she could live with me and be a Princess and we could be happy. But i also told her i did not want her working the brothel anymore obviously,” 

  He brought his knees up laying his elbows over them looking at the ground between his legs. “She told me she would stop but something felt weird so i checked on her and she was still working it. I confronted her and she said she needed the money for the baby and i told her i have more money than i know what to do with, the months went on and she eventually stopped, her bump was small and everytime i felt it , i dont know. It felt off. One day i woke up early and looked over at her, she was asleep on her stomach and .. she was too far align to be doing that.” he looked up at you, his eyes slightly red. “ she lied to me, for my status, my wealth, my name, it was some kind of material to seem like a bump, she tried to tell me it was my fault.”

“Touya…”

He ignored you. “What she said stung more than the faked pregnancy. I had to know, for sure. So i contacted a witch and she performed some kind of spell on me and ..and..”

You moved closer, placing your hand on his arm , he took a big drink and lowered his head again. “ i cant… have children… “

You pulled this man into your arms trying your best to comfort him. He just cursed up a storm and told you how excited he was, how he was going to move away as soon as Shoto left with izuku and start an even bigger family with the woman he loved. Touya wanted his own Kingdom but in a quiet place no one knew about where he could be happy.

“Everyday… i curse Natsuo, he does not deserve to have children” he pushed himself off you to wipe his eyes. “ no one knows this about me y/n”

“Touya its safe with me”

“I have no interest in getting married anymore, i dont care.”

“Thats perfectly okay Touya”

He sniffled not looking at you. “Thank you for listening, you should get settled into your room, top floor last door on the left.”

“Youll be okay?” you asked, getting up

“Nope” he got up walking past you “but thats just how i like it” he waved not looking back as he headed into town.

*

The castle was full of expensive things: statues, paintings, rugs, swords. Anything you could think of. Big wide open rooms with ceilings higher than you had ever seen. It smelled like the kitchen was to your right and the main rooms looked to be up the rug covered stairs. You could hear Enji yelling at Natsuo when you got to the top , you snuck by peeking in every room you passed, looked like bedrooms. You heard a door slam and looked over your shoulder to see Natsuo brooding outside the door talking to himself. 

   You slipped into your room and scanned around the giant room, pretty bed, too girly honestly. A wooden vanity with glass in it and a couple windows. You checked outside them all , dammit. Nothing to really grab on to for a quick escape? You thought on it inspecting more and suddenly you were grabbed from behind and flipped over and pressed against the window, your hair blowing in the wind. 

 Natsuo was pinning you down looking very angry with you. You stuck your chin out at him reaching down for you knife.

“Yes ? your highness?” “I should … should… “ he pressed harder into your shoulders. “You . so mean, you made a fool of .. of me? In front of my father? I ?” his gaze dropped and he grabbed the knife tossing it out the window . his voice got louder and he shook you. “ they tell me i should kill you !! but!! My voices arent always!!.. Correct so …”

“Let me go !! get these gross hands off me !” you fought his grip and he threw you onto the bed pinning you from behind. “ why are you so … SO SO difficult? Im a future KING im in CHARGE not YOU” he reached back fussing with his belt and you got very still.

“Is that why your upset hm? I hurt your ego?” you asked looking back”pitty” with a quick snap of your arm a second knife shot out of your left sleeve and stabbed Natsuo in the arm. He cried out falling back and you pushed him out fo your room. “Sorry, no middle siblings allowed” you slammed the door locking it and pushing some heavy furniture in front of the door for the time being. 

 You could hear Natsuo crying in pain in the hall but you did not really care, it sounded like he was walking away and you finally… finally..alone. You sunk down to your knees” what the fuck man…”

*

[searchforthescars]

Two-Toned, Bittersweet – Chapter 1/?

The previously-mentioned Gideon the Ninth “you’re my enemy and you popped up while I was swiping around on a dating app so I swiped right just to screw with you and we matched” AU is now live :)

I know I don’t know you and don’t want to make it Weird but special thanks to @strangehunger - her comment on the original Tumblr post made me want to actually write this instead of daydream about it. Also pls read her fics they’re INCREDIBLE.

Read the whole thing on Ao3

The only reason Gideon Nav downloads a dating app is that Dulcinea Septimus – one of her two close friends and probably the only brain cell she has left – asks her to.

“That’s the only way I can send you profiles to approve,” she explains one morning, sprawled out on the bench outside the school library, legs outstretched in the sun, breath only rattling a little in her lungs. It’s a good day. Gideon is glad. “I don’t want to go out with just anyone, and I know you’ll stalk me on the date if you don’t get a say.”

“Damn right.” Gideon flips open her silver switchblade. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. The snick of the metal is soothing. “But I really don’t want to make a profile.”

Dulcinea tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Please? For me?”

Gideon knows from years of experience that the battle of the wills is one she has already lost. “You’re lucky I love you so much, Septimus,” she grumbles, pulling out her phone and thumbing it open. “I swear, if I-“

“And would it be the worst if you met someone?” Dulcinea barrels on, acting like she hasn’t heard Gideon at all. Gideon just goes with it, as per usual. “Really, Gideon, aside from Camilla and me, you don’t get very much social interaction on the regular.”

Gideon snorts, typing her information into Tinder and adding exactly two pictures from her camera roll: a blurry photo Dulcinea took of her during her last fencing meet, and another of her in the only formal suit she owns from the last time she went to an athlete awards gala. “There. Send away.”

Dulcinea smiles prettily, the kind of smile that would’ve disarmed a weaker woman (including, but not limited to, Freshman Year Gideon) and looks down at her phone, the smile fading from her eyes before it slips from the rest of her face.

“What?” asks Gideon. She isn’t super well-versed in plumbing anyone emotional depths, least of all her own, but knows Dulcinea well enough to know that something is bothering her. “You okay?”

Dulcinea starts to nod, then sighs and shakes her head. “No. It’s just… Never mind.”

"What?" Gideon hikes up her foot and bends her knee to rest her foot on the bench. Dulcinea watches her with detached amusement. "Come on."

"First of all, can you ever sit like a normal person?" As Gideon shakes her head, Dulcinea continues, "second of all, it's nothing."

"What's nothing?" Camilla Hect appears behind the two women so silently that Gideon nearly breaks her neck twisting around to stare at her. "Oh chill, it's me."

She rounds the bench and plops down between the two of them, dropping her book-laden backpack on the ground between her feet and leaning back with a cardboard carton of food in her hands. "What's nothing?" she asks again, shifting her weight slightly when Dulcinea leans her head on Camilla's shoulder.

"Dulcinea made a Tinder profile,” Gideon says, poking at Camilla’s box of food until Cam slaps her hand away.

Camilla snorts. "Why?"

Dulcinea says something so soft Gideon can't make it out. "Huh?"

"Because I'm trying to get over someone," she repeats, color high in her cheeks. She lifts her head from Camilla's shoulder and pointedly doesn't look at the other girl.

"Palamedes," Camilla says, as if that conveys both the long and the short of it. It kind of does, Gideon guesses. "He and Dulcinea were- alright, alright!" She moves away from Dulcinea's none-too-gentle whacks on the arm. "Chill!"

Gideon blinks at both of them, leaning forward and letting her foot drop to the ground in favor of resting her feet on the pavement, her elbow on her knee and her chin on her hand. "Dulcinea, I don't think another guy - or girl, whatever - is going to help you get over someone you so obviously want to be with."

"That was surprisingly emotionally mature for you," Cam unwraps the fork and knife she'd stashed in her pocket and opens the box to reveal the most disgustingly healthy salad Gideon had ever seen in her life.

"I can be mature. I have depth." Gideon takes a carrot sliver from the salad. Camilla stabs at her hand with the fork. "Hey! Save the stabby-stabby for practice!"

"If you keep being late in the mornings, I'm going to make you do drills," Cam says around a mouthful of greens. "Although you'd probably enjoy them."

Gideon doesn't say anything back, partially because Cam is right, but mostly because Harrowhark Nonagesimus is currently exiting the campus library across the street and Gideon is more interested in watching the scrawny black-clad figure struggle under a pile of books than anything else.

"What's with you two, anyway?" Cam asks. It takes Gideon a second to realize she's addressing her.

"They have some rivalry going back ages," Dulcinea answers for her, probably assuming Gideon's lost whatever small amount of rational thought she possessed prior to spotting her arch-nemesis. Across the street, Harrow plops her bony butt down at the nearest table outside the library and spreads out, books and papers everywhere, her tiny black laptop careening precariously near the table's edge.

"She's so weird," Gideon says. Camilla nods. Dulcinea gives her a reproachful look. "What?"

"Be nice, Gideon."

Gideon snorts. "No thanks. I'm good."

There was a time when Gideon was nice to Harrow. More than nice. Gideon has been really good about not allowing herself to think of that time, because Gideon isn't the type to rehash pain over and over until she's numb to it, which probably would be a horrible strategy and would certainly undercut her previous claim to Camilla about emotional maturity and depth.

Dulcinea and Camilla take their leave, ambling slowly away and talking about the class they share this semester. Gideon stays on the bench and opens her phone, figuring it was past time for her to check her school email the two times a week she actually remembers. Her phone opens to the Tinder screen when her phone unlocks, and in a moment of equal boredom and weakness for the potential of attractive women, she opens the dating view.

She's only swiping for a few seconds before she comes across a profile that nearly makes her drop her phone.

"Holy shit!"

Read the rest on Ao3