#thats the part im confident about because i like the shape of ivy and also i embroidered ivy on a choker semi successfully so it probably

[artificialqueens]

Meat and greet (Trixya) ~ Evelyn°c

AN: I saw the fic challenge and i was truily inspired. Somwhere along the line i associated Anatomy, Flawless and Crispy with a cannibal AU. Its a weird concept, and the fic ended up going on alot longer than i expected. Also its set in England for some reason. ENjoY!!,!.!

Dear Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova

You are cordially invited to the annual feast of baroness needles, and we would be delighted to have you cater for the event. Im sure you are already aware of the guests unconventional tastes and trust you will prepare each dice of meat to the highest quality. We await your reply, and presence at the table.

Yours faithfully, Alaska~ ~

Of corse the invite was no surprise. It had been this way for the past four years. She’d chopped, diced, seasoned and minced food for the best. Baronesses, Countesses, even Queens.

Katya took another glance at the finely inked words on the parchment in front of her. She rolled her thumbs over the flat surface of the paper, it felt like it was probably worth more than her entire existence.

The words burnt into her mind. Unconventional tastes. Thats certainly one way to put it. Nothing about this was conventional. She choked the rising feeling of dread back down into the pit of her stomach as she looked up from the paper to the stone structure ahead of her.

She found herself on the infamous driveway of Sharon’s mansion. Anybody who was anyone had been here, gawking at the archaic stone structure and probably questioning their decision to visit. The sunrise casted a silhouette of abject terror over Katya.

The nicest way to describe it would be intimidating, but even this was a push. The walls were draped in ivy and lichens, spilling from each crevice, crack and gargoyle the mansion contained. The stone itself was less of a grey, more a stained black, presumably from the years of moss swallowing the building. Twisted trees with dislocated branches splintered in the distance, bearing no leaves.

The thick fog rolling over the valley didn’t exactly ease the atmosphere either. Katya began her trudge up the drive feeling the gravel underfoot envelope her heel with a satisfying crunch, the feint buzz of light coming from the tinted windows just visible as it soaked into the mist.

The only thing spookier was probably Baroness needles herself.

Katya felt the sting of cold air knife her as she grasped the edges of her jumper, knuckles turning white. She let out a drawn breath before finally making it to a large regal door, equipped with a bronzed knocker in the shape of a serpents face. She ran her hands through her frizzy blonde hair taking in the feeling of deja vu.

The cook gave a brief knock, awaiting a response. Of corse Alaska or Sharon themselves wouldn’t answer, it would be one of their various butlers unfortunate enough to find employment there.

Katya leaned on the frame of the door, observing the landscape. Thorn bushes never yielded any type of flower in the vast courtyard, and any pond with once running water was reduced to a thick mass of brown and black algae. Sharon had inherited the mansion but god knows how. Her chats with Baroness needles were normally limited to food preparation, so much of her past was unbeknownst to Katya.

Alaska on the other hand was a more sharing individual. She’d stop by the mansion kitchen every now and then, maybe ask for advice on what colour to wear then and wander off. Katya could only imagine what drew Alaska and Sharon to marry in the first place, but she had a feeling Alaska’s lust for money had some role in the matter.

Nothing about Alaska and Sharron’s wealth was subtle. They flaunted it. Every social event, every gathering, they wore crowns and jewels supplied by countries Katya couldn’t even pronounce. They threw events left right and centre, but this event was special.

Not because the guests were royalty, not even because of the excessive amount of cash being flaunted. It was special because the dish Katya would be serving was human flesh.

Admittedly, this was an acquired taste, but Katya was never one to judge a pallet, especially that of the richest people in the country. She liked to treat it as any other dish she prepared. Any other shank of lamb, any other belly of pork.

Katya could picture the stiff pale body in the middle of the cold metallic table. She could picture the apron she’d been so used to, draping around her form, covered in copper blood, rusted and brown. She could picture the blank milky eyes staring into Katya’s blue ones, eyelids peeled back from de-hydration.

She had become accustomed to the anatomy of the human body very well at this point. She knew what flesh tasted good with what kind of wine, and what parts were rendered useless and chucked outside for the crows. She could recite every meat cleaver in order of size and tell you the best one to use for cutting cartilage.

Alas, each calculated chop and stab still brought up a question in her mind, no matter how hard she tried to shove it down. How did they die?

Of corse Katya didn’t kill the victim herself, thats just immoral. Her best guess is that Sharon sourced dead bodies from a local morgue or something, but the bodies never looked a day over 30. Whatever they died of wasn’t old age.

Though morally twisted, Katya found herself in this position every year. She never stuck around to eat the specially prepared meat, her clothes just didn’t match the high fashion atmosphere. She looked like a pebble in comparison to the diamond encrusted corsets and gowns.

Why would this year be any different? For starters, a butler didn’t answer the door, Sharon did. The Baroness instinctively grimaced at Katyas apparel after looking her up and down.

“Hello to you too” Katya sniffed after a few seconds of silence, turning her attention from the courtyard to the well dressed woman ahead of her.

No surprises, Sharon was clad head to toe in black, pale skin in stark contrast, creating the visage of some sort of undead leather fetishist. Her pupils were two pin pricks, sharpened further by the shadow that engulfed her eyes.

She looked behind Katya, scanning for other people in the way only a paranoid cannibal would. “Katya, do come in” Sharon spoke through her jagged teeth, gritted into an obligatory smile.

Katya stepped into the confides of the mansion. whilst the exterior was more than grim, the interior screamed sophistication and wealth. Her eyes were first drawn to the long velvet staircase, a rich shade of red with gold lining. Katya could picture the grand entrances Sharon had probably indulged herself in over the past few years.

The room was a warm hue of red, lit up by a glass chandelier just overhead. Paintings strung up around the wall depicted past and present queens, a good deal of them a participant in the annual feast. Katya shuddered, picturing gravy dribbling down chins with the noise of crunching bones and fat filling the dining hall.

The pair entered the front room as Sharon began to furrow her brow almost instantaneously. “Look there’s been some trouble with the…meat”

“How much trouble can dead meat cause? Did it bite you?” Katya joked, feeling the gust of wind slam the door behind her, causing her to jump.

“Theres been some trouble getting the meat” Sharon spat back, rolling her eyes. She began pacing the room, rubbing her temple instinctively. “Ive got too many people coming tonight, i can’t tell them they aren’t getting any food…”

Katya shrugged, making her way over to the shelves to observe the various taxidermied creatures on display. “So ill just cook up some beef. The posh bastards will never know the difference”

“Katya, they’re paying thousands to eat human flesh, if its not somebody else’s they’ll eat mine” Sharon sighed, looking up at one of her many paintings.

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it, we could cook Alaska?” Katya laughed, poking a particular stuffed racoon apprehensively, only half listening to the baroness.

“For god’s sake I’m being serious, my reputation is on the line!” Sharon yelled, lacing a hand through her white hair, balling her fist. She looked tense. Sharon’s expression cleared slightly as she began to approach a startled Katya. “I need you to do something for me.” She spoke with a hint of desperation.

Katya backed off a little bit here, bumping into the shelves. “No way you aren’t eating me, back up” She said frantically, raising her hands in front of her.

“Not you dipshit”

Oh.

“Then who?”

The baroness narrowed her eyes in consideration here. “A member of staff.” She nodded, happy with her conclusion. “I want you to kill a member of staff.”

Katya reeled back, she was used to cooking people, not killing people. Those were two completely different leagues. “Why cant you?”

“I have to tend to the guests, completely out of the question” Sharon shook her head, crossing her arms expectantly. “Are you in need of some extra persuasion miss Zamo?”

“Im not sure i like where this is going” Katya grimaced, looking around for Alaska.

“I’ll pay double”

“Well this is a potentially traumatic experience for me. The guilt may drive me insane…” Katya drawled, tracing her finger across the wooden surface of the shelf.

“Triple”

How could she refuse? She’d live in luxury for the entire year with that kind of change in her pocket. Katya pursed her lips. She needed to show Sharon she meant business here. “Triple plus that stuffed racoon” She pointed, grinning manically at the creature.

The white haired woman planted her head between her palms. “I can’t believe you” She croaked. “Fine, just have them dead and cooked by this afternoon” She said, making her way over to the staircase where she took one last glance at Katya.

“Any member of staff?”

“Except the butlers”

“And just to confirm not Alaska?”

Baroness needles stormed up the staircase, mumbling some profanities to herself. Katya chuckled before taking a glance at the grand clock in the corner. 9:45. Sharon was right, the guests would arrive soon and there was only so much stalling she could do.

With that, Katya brushed the lint from her jumper. Nothing stood between her and getting £100,000. By any means necessary, she’d eliminate another human being for the satisfaction of 50 inebriated millionaires.

~

Katya strolled around the courtyard. The air was still thick with fog as she tried to navigate her way around the rows of dead greenery and fallen leaves. The blonde squinted her eyes, trying to distinguish any kind of human silhouette.

Katya wasn’t sure who she was looking for, but she concluded most of the butlers worked in the house, and Sharon had made it clear butlers were off limits. Perhaps she could find a nice janitor, scrubbing the gutters precariously balanced on a ladder that could take an ‘accidental fall.’

Katya was enjoying this a little too much, going over each possible scenario for murder in her head.

After a small walk and a few unfortunate accidents involving stepping on snails, Katya found herself at the furthest end of the courtyard. She felt the cobblestone and leaves under her feet abruptly end as it was replaced with lush grass, still moist from last nights downpour.

If the rest of the garden was dead, this part was living, breathing.

The hedgerows littered with berries, a glossy red colour, resembling small marbles rather than fruit. Circles of mud decorated with soft pink primroses and petunias surrounded Katya. Gusts of wind would rustle the trees and wind-chimes, sounding delicate metalIic clinks. It was an idealistic flawless sanction of growth.

Everything was undeniably pretty, but also raised a few questions. Why the hell would such a thriving area of garden be in an otherwise stony decaying courtyard? It wasn’t exactly fitting with The baronesses aesthetic. Alaska didn’t seem the type either.

“Oh, can i help you?” A hushed voice sounded behind Katya, causing her to jolt and grasp at her heart in mild shock. She spun in place towards the source of the noise.

Stood by a small tree with a pair of hedge clippers in hand was a woman with long blonde hair. Katya was completely caught off guard, she was almost as flawless as the garden she was maintaining. Deep blue eyes, a sympathetic smile, a terrifyingly large pair of hedge clippers. Katya almost forgot to breathe. She shook herself out of it. This had to be a sign. The other woman was tall and curvy in figure, she looked delectable. “Just admiring this beautiful garden.” Katya admitted, making her way over to the blonde. “You did this yourself?” She asked, arching a brow.

The other girl grinned, flushing slightly, using a well manicured hand to brush some dirt off her pink skirt. “I thought it was a shame such a large garden was so empty” she said propping the clippers against the tree.

Katya was standing in front of her now, putting on her best smile. She needed every moment to be casual, nothing out of the ordinary. If Katya did this right the girl would think she’s just making a new friend. “I didn’t think Sharon hired gardeners?”

“Ah she brought me in a couple of months ago…” She looked to the floor here. “Do you work here too?”

“Im the chef for the event tonight, Katya Zamolodchikova.” The smaller woman said, enjoying the blondes reaction to hearing her last name. Katya was aware it was an unusual one, most would assume she’s Russian.

“Trixie Mattel” she beamed, extending a hand for a brief shake. “You’ve been to the feast?? Whats it like?” She gasped, her pink lips thinning into an expectant smile as they parted hands.

“Have you seen the scene in Indiana jones where they serve monkey brains? Sort of like that” Katya chuckled. Trixie screamed in delight. Of corse she would have no idea what the real dish was, if word got out there would be a public scandal no amount of money could cover up.

“Ive always wanted to sit at the table with Sharon, thats a life long dream” Trixie admitted, crossing her arms and drifting off into fantasy. Little did Trixie know she would be at the meal. She’d be the guest of honour.

A plan formulated in Katya’s head as Trixie looked wistfully into the distance. She’d have to murder her of corse. There was too much money riding on someone being dead to not go through with it. Still, she was such a sweet girl. Shyly breaking eye contact, red around her ears and cheeks. Such a waste of life.

“Well” Katya said, pulling Trixie out of her daydream and placing a hand on her shoulder. “How about i whip you up some food? You must be hungry”

Trixie burnt under Katya’s touch. “I couldn’t expect you to do that for me” she shook her head, looking both apologetic and grateful.

“Nonsense it would be my pleasure, lets go” Katya spoke sternly. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Katya pictured the scene in her head, Trixie biting down on Katya’s specially prepared dish, the poison seeping into her body, inevitably shutting it down. Quick and easy. She’d poison Trixie mattel.

Trixie tried to protest but Katya’s hand moved from her shoulder to the small of her back, forcing her along the pathway. “Its a lovely offer but-”

“How does a nice beef wellington sound?” Katya cut in, flashing a perfect row of teeth to the taller woman.

Trixie looked slightly confused, knitting her brows. “That wouldn’t be so bad” she shrugged as the pair made their way down the path, exchanging pleasantries and light conversation.

~

“I’ve never had a chance to explore the mansion” Trixie said, wide eyed admiring the dining hall, running her fingers across each surface as she passed. “If Alaska or Sharon found me slacking off they’d have my head on a platter”

Katya let out a small laugh, but not for the right reasons. She looked over to the other girl, she really was in awe of everything the mansion contained. She felt a small pang of guilt remembering this would be the last thing Trixie would ever see.

“It has it’s charm” Katya admitted, making her way over to the table in the centre of the room. Silver cutlery circled the edges, placemats probably woven from the silk of Scandinavian jumping spiders or something outrageously posh like that.

Trixie nodded, taking a seat. Katya instinctively took the chair besides her, quirking a brow. “So, how do you like your beef?” Katya inquired, a joking tone in her voice.

“Ive literally never thought about it…crispy?” Trixie giggled, resting the side of her head into her palm.

“Eloquently put miss Mattel” Katya leaned back in her seat, taking in the smell of floral incense that attempted to cover the smell of thick varnish that plagued the stately home. She heard Trixie sound a small chuckle beside her.

“I cant help feeling a bit bad, i have nothing to offer in return for a lovely meal” The gardener admitted to Katya. She sounded sincerely apologetic. This made Katya shift in her seat. The more the other blonde spoke the more real the situation was. She felt sick.

“How about a bunch of flowers?” Katya spoke, voice strained. She just wanted to get this over with. The less time it had to fester in her mind the better. “We’ll take a stroll back to the garden before i have to begin meal preparation for the guests”

“I’d like that” Trixie nodded, that familiar creep of red showing around her ears.

Katya smiled, giving her a quick wink before standing from her seat and making her way over to the kitchen door. This was getting alot more sentimental than Katya was hoping for. Her time with Trixie, though brief, had sent a hurricane of conflicting feelings through Katya.

Her laugh, her smile, her sense of humour. Of all people deserving of death it certainly wasn’t Trixie. Katya took a glance back to the gardener. She was poking at the silverware on the table with a huge grin. Adorable.

To think she was about 6 hours away from being served on a platter.

Katya burst through the kitchen door, hand over her mouth, feeling about ready to eject her stomach through her throat. She saw the room she’d been so used to. For the past four years she had no hangups about slicing and dicing dead bodies, why would Katya start growing a conscience for a poorer-than-dirt worker?

Katya wiped a growing bead of sweat from her brow. No, this wasn’t right. 100,000 quid doesn’t make it any more acceptable to take another life. Still, she had to give Sharon something. If she went back empty handed, Katya would never find work again.

The cook groaned. She did know one thing. She had promised a delicious, crispy, beef wellington to Trixie.

After about half an hour of pounding beef and rolling puff pastry with pure rage, Katya had popped a savoury dish in the oven. She opened the overhead cabinet and spotted the rat poison, wincing at its glaring warning sign equipped with skull and crossbones. This would be the garnish, the finishing touch. Taking it down from the shelf, Katya placed the poison on the side for later use, turning quickly to exit the kitchen and check on Trixie.

“In the oven” The chef puffed, taking the same seat beside the gardener. “You, Trixie Mattel, are in for a treat”

“Im sure i am” Trixie laughed breathlessly. They were sitting close. Katya could see each of her features gleam under the intensive lighting. “Can i ask you a question though?”

Shit, had Katya blown it? Crap she could only imagine what Trixie was about to ask. The last thing she wanted was to raise suspicion.

“Your last name is odd, are you from Russia?”

Oh.

“Not last time i checked” Katya let out a sigh of relief hearing the other blonde chuckle. God, she enjoyed Trixie’s laugh a bit too much. It was infectious. Katya let out a breathy laugh grasping the side of Trixie’s arm leaning forward. Not that her comment had been particularly funny, but the gardeners delight was infectious.

“I didn’t think there was anyone on the estate that would go near me” Trixie admitted, Katya’s hand still clasped around her arm. “I was surprised when you offered me food” Her voice softened.

“Well you seemed like you earned it. Anyone who has to put up with Sharon needles deserves a 5 star meal”

They sat there for a moment, Katya realising her grip on Trixie was a little too tight as she reluctantly removed her hand. She broke eye contact and began to scoot back her chair. “I should go check on the-”

“Wait, Katya” She felt a warm grasp around her hand, stopping the chef in her tracks. She looked over to a flustered Trixie. “I-uh…Thank you”

Katya paused for a moment before offering a large open mouthed smile. “You are too sweet miss Matell, thank me after you’ve eaten” Katya squeezed down on Trixie’s hand before letting go, standing from her seat. Trixie sunk back down in her chair slightly with a defeated look. It pained Katya but she really couldn’t allow herself to get attached.

Katya pushed open the kitchen doors and glanced over the prepared food, baking in the rattling oven. She took it out, chewing the inside of her cheek, feeling the sting of heat under her fingertips as she placed it on the cool counter by the rat poison.

This is for 100,000 pounds. Thats alot of money. How many copies of contact can you buy with that kind of cash? Alot probably.

Katya steadied herself as she opened up the poison container with a satisfying pop, before taking a handful of pellets in her fist. She was shaking badly, trying not to picture Trixie’s face. Reluctantly the cook stuffed the pellets within the confides of the beef wellington. She was sure enough they could be passed off as fancy herbs if the question arose.

She added the finishing touches before delicately placing it on a silver platter. Katya would even consider eating it herself aside from the fatal dose of rodent killer. Walking through the doors into the dining hall, Katya saw Trixie’s look of amazement as she oogled at the steaming dish.

“I can see why they hire you here” Trixie said with an exited tone, eyes fixated on the silver platter. “Want to half it with me?”

Katya shook her head patting her stomach, placing the platter on the varnished surface. “Im watching my diet”

Trixie shrugged before taking the knife and fork from the table, sinking it deep into the beef wellington, relishing the slow cracking noise of the pastry. She looked so contented. Katya wanted to look away but she couldn’t. All the thoughts and doubts she had been pushing down were surfacing. She was about to commit murder, no better than a petty criminal. No amount of money would rectify that.

No amount of money would change the fact she’d taken another life.

“Wait wait Trix” Katya spluttered instinctively before the beef could reach Trixie’s lips. The gardener turned to her expectantly, a little confused. Katya had to think of a reasonable explanation fast.

“I…didn’t check the expiration date on that beef” Katya choked, mustering up the lamest excuse she could. “I wouldn’t eat that”

Trixie put the fork down, still smiling. “You tease” She joked, shaking her head. “Well, i still got to see the mansion at least”

Katya felt a wave of relief wash over her, followed by the jolt of realisation that she’d never find work again. Sharon would make sure of that. It didn’t phase Katya at this point, her newest friend would stay alive and healthy, planting flowers, blood pumping.

She felt the urge to just run. Get out of the mansion as soon as possible. Katya shrugged at Trixie before giving another one of her manic grins. “Fancy going out for a meal instead?”

“Im supposed to be working”

“I’ll vouch for you” That was a lie on Katya’s behalf. She was never going to set foot near Sharon or Alaska again. Or at least thats what she hoped.

“Well-”

Before Trixie got the chance to reply she was being dragged out the door, into the low fog. Katya knew this was the right choice, the dinner guests would just have to go hungry tonight. Their meal was safe and sound by Katya’s side, laughing at her terrible jokes.

They left the estate laughing maniacally, talking about food.