#thats why astarion was so pissed at her

[utterdrip]

thembie looks so out of place but she is a TINKERER! she needs to ease of accessibility an apron provides!

i promise shes not a butcher! she is an inventor!

[crypt-keepers-den]

Hey! I couldn't find any post saying if the requests were closed, so if they're feel free to say no. I loved your last two astarion fics, may I make a request? Something light and funny would do the Fandom good. How about a piece based on this interview (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjrnuB4T/), where our dear vampire boi gets changed into a goose (did he lockpick the wrong chest? Pissed off the wrong magical entity/camp member? Was hit by a random spell during a fight? You tell me)? It can wear off in a little but just on that short period of time, the group learns why Goosetarion is a menace all on it's own >:)

The camp was quiet. Karlach, gale and astarion having gone out to hunt down some deer for supper, your spend your time alone tidying you and astarion's shared tent, lifting tomes and parchment off the bed rolls and placing them neatly in the corner. You here karlach yell your name "Tav come quick!", you sprint out of the tent in a panic thinking something terrible had happened only to find Karlach wearing a grin "look what Mr shiny boots went and did to himself" you follow her thinking something bad had happened to Astarion, however your greeted with gale trying to corner a flailing goose, the goose makes eye contact with you before sprinting to hide behind you.

you raise an eyebrow at karlach and gale, she stifles a laugh motioning you to watch the scene unfold, gale reaches towards the hiding goose. The goose snaps at the sorcerer's hand, gale says "Astarion if you want turned back you have to work with me, not against me" Astarion? Your Astarion is the goose cowering behind your legs, you looked down at the goose behind your legs, the more you looked the more you could see Astarion's features, his crimson eyes, the small fangs that peaked out of his beak, the soft silver poof of feathers that sat on top of his head. "Astarion, my love is that you?" the goose cowers its head at you, almost as if hes embarrassed. You reach down to pet his head "whatever happened my darling?", karlach snorts "he got cocky tryin' to lock pick a cursed chest" gale nods "i did try to warn him tav but he didnt-" the goose flairs his wings up, hissing at the pair, gale steps back but karlach stands her ground laughing at him.

you promptly lift him, scooping him up into your arms, "and how long till it wears off" gale stops staring at the, clearly, pissed goose in your arms "um...should wear off during the night" you sigh, "alright 'starion, try and behave till this wears off"

the hours pass and your surprised that Astarion hadnt caused much trouble, despite snapping at Gale every time he comes near you, you finish stirring the stew that was bubbling away on the camp fire; noticing that astarion is no longer sulking near you, so you wander around the camp looking for your vampire goose.

"ASTARION GIVE THAT BACK" gale yells frantically as the white goose runs rampant with one of his scrolls, the goose flails his wings, showing off his dominance, you watch as gale manages to corner Astarion, he reaches for the scroll but astarion is quick to drop it and bite gale's hand, the wizard lets out a pained yelp, you decide its time to intervene. "Astarion! let go of gale" you scold your feathered lover, the goose studies you before letting go of poor gale's hand, the wizard cluthes it and disappears to nurse his bitten hand. You look down at him "astarion that wasnt very nice, you took his scrolls" however it seemed he wasnt listening, he waddled off back into your shared tent, you follow before screeching at him "ASTARION THATS MY SANDWICH!" you chase the goose around the camp before loosing your temper with him, "fine astarion keep the damn sandwich, it's not like i was hungry or anything, damn you" you throw your hands up in the air before disappearing back into your tent to sulk.

it was nightfall before you heard the pitter patter of his webbed feet, you pretend to be asleep, you sense him checking you over, perhaps he was wondering if you were awake, you feel the creature wiggle its way into your arms, you dont fight him, it lays its head under your chin, you listen as its breathing slows, you both fall asleep.

the morning comes, light peaks through the tent causing you to wake, however the lump next to you feels larger, warmer. you peak down, looking at astarion's sleeping face, you cant help but smile, you lean down and plant a soft kiss to the top of his head before whispering "your a menace my love" you feel him snuggle closer "im your menace my darling" you smile before huffing "you still owe me a sandwhich" you both break into soft giggles.

*im so sorry this took so long my start with uni went haywire and i needed some time to deal with that but im back now and im finishing my drafts, see you soon with more x readers*

[gale-dekarios]

5, 27 and 34 for game asks!

hiiiii :DDD thanks for stopping byyyy

5. Most memorable gaming moment?

oh, absolutely the githyanki creche fight from bg3.

everybody was dead except astarion, who was a thief subclass rogue. you don't need to know the subclass except that they get two bonus actions instead of one.

everyone except two githyanki melee fighters were still alive. instead of doing the normal thing and reloading, i decided i was going to see if i could pull it off just with astarion.

what i ended up doing was, i'd get astarion to use a bonus action disengage, bonus action dash, sprint to the opposite end of the room, turn around and shoot them with his bow or a fire bolt. they would then be forced to use a full action to dash towards him because they had no ranged weapons, and would have to wait until their next turn. the problem with this plan is that they could never reach astarion to actually hit him, but also their AC was high enough that astarion, especially without sneak attack advantage or damage, very rarely hit them. meaning i spent a whole HALF HOUR running around that one fucking room with astarion and these gith only sometimes hitting them and doing the tiniest amount of damage when i did.

i managed to KILL THEM, and i WON THAT FIGHT, only to get caught in the vlakiith "kill the person inside the artefact" cut scene, and i had one spell scroll of revivify left. which meant after ALL THAT, i had to reload anyway.

big L for charlie.

27. A popular game that you just can’t get into.

animal crossing. i really dislike slow milestone/farming games. same with stardew valley. i find that kind of thing really really boring. repetitive stuff really grates me, it's why i'm kind of stuck trying to finish dragon age inquisition because i know i need to wrap up the companion stuff, but thinking about "go to this place, pick up thing", "go to this place, kill this person", three, four, five times in a row, it just reeeeeally puts me off.

and the thing is like, i've played animal crossing, in fact, im pretty sure i still have a good 30 or something hours in it. but that was mainly because i have friends i played it with that had been playing it for years upon years and they really helped me blast through a LOT of the upgrades really quickly, but i mainly treated my island as a way to piss off one of my friends who really likes her place to look nice and organised and for everywhere else to look nice and organised (and cute), but after a while doing bits like having as many toilets as i could scattered around my island and stealing as many flowers as i could from hers didn't justify the amount of fun i wasn't having playing the game, and so i stopped.

what's downright hilarious though is my rng in that fucking game because despite not giving less of a shit about it, apparently i have at least... three...? incredibly rare campers on my island at any given time (apparently) (i wouldnt actually know but thats what they said, and they seemed pretty shocked about it so.)

but yeah, resource management, organising, farming, slow gain milestones, no clear, structured story, repetitive gameplay, it's like everything i hate to be in a game all in one.

34. funniest gaming moment

not sure if this means something i did or something that happens in a game that i find funny, either way, the amount of inside jokes i have about assassins creed odyssey's alexios with my friends are insane, (all of which are non sensical both with and without context), and the eagle bearer shoving the cyclop's obsidian eye up a goats anus still catches me off guard and makes me lose it every single time.