#the bill gates fun domicile

[lexicalizer]

Formerly @combat-epistemologist; my account was deactivated for no reason apparent to me after more years on here than I’d care to admit. Feel free to follow for literally any reason but particularly if we were previously mutuals. I will also be remaking my gardening shitposting sideblog, @meta-sequoia, as @object-level-sequoia.

Hopefully this is temporary and I can get my former account back, particularly since I assume @staff would like to continue to accept my money, in the format of my presumably-also-discontinued Tumblr Premium. (Pretty funny, actually. In Soviet Russia, subscription cancels you!)

[lazeecomet]

well. its started happening. my repeated proximity to the Bill Gates Fun Domicile has started to affect my YouTube suggestions. Stuff in German is appearing

[transbionic-shieldmaiden]

tagged by @gender-trash

rules: tag n people you want to catch up with / get to know better

last song: uhhhhh so this is going to take some explanation. so i’ve been getting into tabletop wargaming lately (you can read about my exploits on my sideblog @the-shieldmaidens-tabletop) and the particular regiment I’m building minis for is sort of. themed around vehicles? so I have a playlist that is more or less “music to play while driving a tank at absurd speeds and/or drifting said tank” which consists of one (1) song from the Girls und Panzer* soundtrack, a couple eurobeat songs, and some black sabbath and ac/dc. it’s, uh, eclectic.

last movie: same answer as @gender-trash except i was at the hospital for the last half (everyone is ok).

currently watching: 40k terrain youtube.

currently reading: nothing, i have no attention span for reading during these accursed times.

currently craving: the funds to buy more overpriced plastic toys (aka miniatures).

tagging: idk i don’t like tagging people because what if i presume too much about our online relationship??? so uh if you wish i tagged you you’re tagged i guess. quantum tagging.

also tagging my beloved @combat-epistemologist though i suppose @gender-trash already did that for me.

*incidentally girls und panzer is a very trash anime, but it’s MY TRASH dammit.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e5a: where no mouse has gone before

the blood test went okay! i’m still fucking exhausted but i’m pulling through. hopefully when the results come through it’ll be something tame yet treatable.

episode summary: upon learning of a human plot to communicate with aliens from a nearby planet, brain attempts to convince them that he is earth’s leader.

the rundown:

the mice are floating around.

did i need to cap all of those images? no. i probably only needed the last one, honestly. was it funnier? absolutely. so that’s what y’all get.

brain is upside down now.

“look, brain!” cries pinky. “i’m experiencing total weightlessness!”

bonk.

they’re in an anti gravity chamber, for reasons that have not been elaborated upon. they just sort of merrily bump into each other in there until someone lets them out.

bonk.

bonk.

ow. if pinky could die, that would probably be it for his spine. brain looks more like his alarm has just gone off and he really doesn’t want to get up, but god damn it, he has a 9am on tuesdays.

gromp.

“these experiments are degrading.”

“narf! i think they’re fun, brain! i can’t wait for the next ride!”

“that is because you have no dignity.”

but it’s okay. this man in terrifying sunglasses has come to rescue the boys. air mice nyoom is over.

as he takes them back to wherever, brain spots something of interest.

IT’S A DVD. HOW ANTIQUATED. but no, he’s more concerned about whatever it is this dude is polishing.

“did you see that plaque, pinky?” brain asks, and then does... this. for some reason. i don’t know. maybe i paused at a weird time. this is, uh, not a good moment, brain. there are people here.

“poit. he really ought to floss more often.”

this, at the very least, is enough to get brain to stick his ass out slightly less, and as they get lowered into fun little chairs,

he explains to pinky that the plaque "displays representations of man, woman, and the rudiments of earth’s most sophisticated science.”

see! there are the sciences right there. all sciences can be narrowed down to a bunch of dots and pi.

so then they get put in the promare spinny machine for their crimes.

sunglasses man leaves. he has done his duty for bill and country.

completely unbothered by the prospect of fueling the promepolis warp drive, brain explains to pinky that said plaque is being “sent on a probe to the outermost extremities of the galaxy, along with a disk showing earth’s arts and music.” unfortunately, this show is set in the 90s, so it’s a miracle this episode actually happened and the aliens didn’t just listen to a couple seconds of bjork and then decide to call the whole thing off.

meanwhile, the scientist turns the spinny mode up a bit.

“if the aliens look upon it, they will learn everything they need to know about the dominant species on earth!”

“naaarf. too bad there isn’t a picture of you on there, brain!”

“exactly,” says brain, who can somehow still manage a coherent sentence. “are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain! but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby!”

awful. brain somehow manages to convey that if he puts a picture of himself on the plaque, then the aliens will recognise him as earth’s leader.

unfortunately, most of his lower half appears to be significantly broken, so he may need some assistance.

the episode cuts straight from spinny machine to the next scene, so i’m not entirely sure how long afterwards it takes place. i assume at the very least they both had a nap first, but anyway, now the mice are here and significantly less broken, and brain is standing in front of an engraving of himself and saying voila.

“voila.”

not only has he carved himself into the plaque, he’s also carved the human figures out entirely. impressive stuff, considering that tool is bigger than him.

pinky thinks it’s marvellous!

“but who is it?”

bonk.

it gets worse. brain explains that he has “slightly altered the great art masterpieces” to enhance his own importance as earth’s leader.

slightly.

“oh, this is my favourite one, brain!”

“......how did that get in there.”

undeterred, brain switches over to some samples of The World’s Great Works Of Classical Music.

BRAIN’S THE LEADEEEEEEEEEEER BRAIN’S THE LEAAAADEEEEER

he’s even included some examples of america’s contribution to the fine arts!

ROCK. AND ROLL.

A WOP BOP A LOO BOP A LOP BAM BRAIN. let it be known that little richard was actually white and dubiously canadian.

/s

anyway brain wants them to swap his disk and plaque with the real disk and plaque, so they set off to do that.

“but brain, what about ballet? aren’t you going to give them a sample of the ballet?”

“the aliens aren’t going to care about ballet, pinky.”

or perhaps he was just too embarrassed to edit his face onto the ballets russe. it’s okay brain. we love you even if your short legs make your sissones lackluster.

time for Big Rocket.

they’re stopped at the gates, of course.

fear not! it’s only famous jet propulsion scientist wernher von brain from the braun institute in baun.

and wernher von pinky!!! from the mink institute in pink!!!

brain looks at pinky like he’s just said something stupid, and chooses to ignore the fact that wernher van braun had been dead twenty years before this cartoon takes place. very smart, brain. much genius.

still, it works on this guy.

“from now on, pinky, whatever anyone asks you, just say ‘ja’ or ‘nein’.”

BUT NEVER MIND THAT.

IT’S TIME FOR BIG ROCKET.

brain screws his custom Mouse Plaque onto the base of the rocket. he also sticks his ass out again as he does it, because he is clearly having one of those days.

pinky watches as the countdown progresses slowly, from ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-stand by for emission.

“did you hear the countdown, pinky?”

“ja!”

“what number are they down to?”

“nien!”

“nine???”

“ja!”

“excellent, plenty of time.”

<does a gay little run into the distance>

(he did not, in fact, have plenty of time.)

“didn’t you tell me they were down to nine, pinky?”

“ja! nien! poit!”

there’s your answer, i guess.

but it’s fine! brain’s picture is on the rocket, as well as his cultural erasure of little richard, so surely nothing can go wrong now!

look at it nyooming around in space. how cute.

conclusion:

ALIENS LAND ON EARTH.

news man witters on about this being the GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD as various politicians and news organisations congregate to say hi to the aliens. they are from firnobulax, and they want to meet earth’s leader!

here they come now!

squelch.

the aliens politely request to be taken to earth’s leader.

“he means me,” says bill, wriggling himself to the front of the line. “i can feel his pain.”

):

the other world leaders don’t seem too sure about this.

including... this guy. who is definitely supposed to be british (”oh, really, old chap, i think he means me”) but i. definitely do not recognise him. who are you??? what did you do to the queen??????? give liz back right now you bureaucrat, or the entirety of england will throw hands.

the aliens care not for this.

so they kind of explode everyone in the venue, as you do.

the politicians watch in horror as the aliens fly right past them, to this innocent looking soap box right at the back.

the inhabitants of which came prepared. very cute.

“you are the earth creature known as. brain?”

“yes!”

“i am the leader of this planet!! ruler of all i survey!!!!!”

good for you! (:

“narf. and he really isn’t just a laboratory mouse trying to take over the world.”

brain will handle this from here, thank you.

the aliens are satisfied, at least. they give pinky a little pat on the head for all his narfs (he speaks excellent firnobulax, don’t you know, narf poit egad) and take the mice away to CELEBRATE THEIR GLORY.

it doesn’t look very comfortable, but neither of them seem to mind.

“at last, pinky! we are finally appreciated!”

“what does it feel like..........”

anyway, the spaceship full of mice flies away. brain regails the firnobulaxians with tales of how he invented electricity.

“but brain. wasn’t that ben franklin?”

bonk.

brain realises mid bonk that this probably looks very suspicious, so he convinces the aliens that this is a gesture of respect on earth.

it goes about as well as one would think it would.

“you mean all those years, you were just showing me respect! i’m touched!”

“yes, you certainly are.”

luckily, they make it back to firnobulax without too much trouble.

there’s a parade and everything. the crowd cheers “narf! poit! brain!” as they’re carried through the street, which is probably a sequence of words that brain is very used to hearing.

i don’t know what these things are, but they’re scary.

they make it to brain’s “domicile” soon enough, which is a big fancy room with a chair in it.

there’s only one chair, which is sad, but hopefully that can be mitigated. brain settles himself down triumphantly.

“from now on, pinky,” he says, “everything will be different.”

which is a good time for bars to fall down over one of the windows.

donk.

the mice look on, horrified,

as it continues around the rest of the room.

and the door, too, for good measure.

“egad, brain!” cries pinky. “they’ve locked us in!”

“yes, pinky.”

“yes.”

awww. ):

as pinky attempts to break the bars, brain wanders off back to his little chair, incredibly despondantly.

he has to prepare for tomorrow night.

“why, brain? what are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“same thing we do every night, pinky. try to take over firnobulax.”

hmmmmm.

man. i just. the plan actually worked, is the thing. it did exactly what brain intended it to. and how could he have known that firnobulax wanted to kidnap the leader of earth for scientific purposes? maybe if they’d been upfront with their intent, we would have had an excuse to send some dictators into space. go figure.

but never mind.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 13

“ooooo, i don’t know, brain. i once saw a group of japanese tourists absolutely melt at the final scene of giselle.”

[drugaddictbitch]

Garden Decorating Made Fun and Easy

Individuals have always been inclined to decorate their distances whether indoor or outside if given the opportunity to do so. A whole lot of ideas have been flowing in magazines about the best way best to produce a perfectly amazing place to reside in and gardens have been among those spaces which people have continually place their effort on enhancing.

Garden decorating is just one of the ways that you may enhance the simple and bare setting of someone's lawn. The task doesn't require elaborate plans and designs for you to be engaged to. In fact, in just few straightforward steps, an individual can turn an ordinary landscape into a relaxing and appreciating location.

Gardens do not need significant figurines to make it visually attractive and interesting. As rule, make a fantastic space by letting it be a place for comfort and enjoyment. Decorate with a comfortable and casual feel. Bring out indoor elements of your home to the backyard like mirrors, chimes and collections of little bottles.

Try various styles of mixing or mismatching colors in your backyard. Brighten up old couch chairs by placing canvas pillows for example. By putting on things which aren't ordinarily found in a garden, an individual can make that eye catching effect. A cozy place like the garden should have an inviting seating area.

Garden decorating is as much as a type of self-expression as far as it's your sense of style or taste. Maintain the decorating as you please because everything will bring you great impressions in your garden are definitely those that it requires. Your garden is the place of relaxation and comfort.

Candles in a backyard add colour and depth to distance which generates a more soothing and relaxing setting. Make outdoor lanterns in the materials you have on your property. An old can be wrapped using a wire to make a rustic feel. Try out the light which would best set the mood you would like during the evenings.

Use outdoor accessories in backyard decorating. Improvise your own garden table using unique materials like bamboo place mats, sticks, a piece of glass or add strips of colorful fabric. Use pastel colored plates on your eating spaces which adds pleasure to it. Creating a gorgeous garden table setting is one of the traditional means of developing a lasting impression on your backyard. Whichever is available, a hammock or an umbrella also adds to the relaxing atmosphere in the backyard.

Basics of Home and Garden Decor

In our era of instant information, what's on television is a great barometer of what folks are considering. With different programs scattered throughout both satellite and cable TV regarding domicile improvement and general decor, it's clear that garden and home decorating is on lots of minds.

And you don't need to get tremendous gardening or construction skills to upgrade your environment. Plus it can be within budget.

Many folks decorate so the house and the backyard complement each other. Using colour, fabric, and decoration that could travel outside is one step in this direction. Of course, leather outdoor furniture isn't possible, but an outdoor friendly cloth the same colour will get you there.

If it's been some time, a new coat of paint inside or outside can freshen the outlook of your dwelling. Outdoor wood items such as gates, fences, and decks may often use a great stripping and re-staining. Consider using a color near woodwork in the home.

Trees, plants, and flowers add a good deal of character to your dwelling. These are often a reflection of the owner's personality and should create plenty of colour and warmth. If the plants selected aren't winter friendly, place them in a container which may be moved under cover for the chilly months.

A timer controlled watering system is a excellent addition to your garden area. If it will get a little toasty in your summer, you know your plants are hydrated. You can correct it to maintain the plants along with your water bill healthy.

Plant containers add a little character. Whiskey barrels and terra cota pots are a few suggestions. Keep the watering needs of the plants in mind while you decide what to place them in.

Concrete paths, a fire pit, a fountain, a built in barbeque, these are simply a couple of the things which will shape your garden area. Insert some embedded lighting for night time use, possibly an outdoor stereo system also. Solar outdoor lights come in an assortment of shapes, sizes, and colours and can be used almost anywhere in your garden area. Lighting consistently adds a warm ambience.

House and garden decor ideas come from all around. TV programs, magazines, internet, as well as seeing a house in your area that is landscaped to your liking. Your home is your castle and there isn't any true right or wrong when it comes to home and garden décor. But please keep the front lawn within the HOA cc and r's if you have one.

Based on how massive a job you plan, it might be necessary and a terrific idea to seek advice from a landscaper or terrace construction specialist before beginning in. Occasionally these experts can get you started in the right direction, saving you money and time and you'll be able to finish it up yourself. One of the terrific things about having a home is the pride of having home and garden decor done to your own design and goals.

When done, you'll have a custom tailored environment that reflects your taste and is a excellent spot to entertain and relax.

[gender-trash]

@transbionic-shieldmaiden bought a box of cheez-its but they straight up are missing the cheese flavoring??? fucking. cheez-itisn't. cheezless-its. what the hell

[gender-trash]

i've been holding off on mentioning this for privacy reasons (and fuck, i am NOT good at refraining from Posting Thru It) but i am now pleased to finally be able to announce that, an undisclosed amount of time ago, in an undisclosed location, @combat-epistemologist, @transbionic-shieldmaiden, and i bought a house together!!! it's got walls and doors and, like, a roof??? holy shit how did this happen.

you may now place your bets on how many boxes (uhaul size small) were required to move the household's books. (hint: it is a double-digit number.)

[gender-trash]

trying sososo hard to sell my housemates on the concept that we should install conveyor belts in our house (once we have purchased an house) for transporting dead mugs to the kitchen... i CANT believe they are not CHARMED AND DELIGHTED by the concept

[gender-trash]

i need to buy a house so i can build in a system of platforms and enclosed cat runs so my cat can safely hang out with me in the garage and go out on a catio to chitter at birds. and i just think that mortgage providers should recognize this and give me a discounted rate

^ look at her. you want to give me a 4.5% interest rate sooo bad

[gender-trash]

behold the sourdough starter "sophie" which @combat-epistemologist brought home on the plane yesterday. despite being in a mason jar that was itself in a ziploc bag, sophie exploded all over a variety of items in their suitcase, including their dice bag, a pair of pants, an entire head of broccoli, and their keys.

today @combat-epistemologist fed sophie and she's causing problems AGAIN

(we named her after Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle (book), partly because our previous sourdough starter was named Calcifer and partly because hmc sophie is also known for Causing Problems)

[gender-trash]

we committed the classic blunder: "ooh we'll just go to ikea real quick to get one (1) thing! it'll take like, an hour, tops"

[gender-trash]

when youre developing a fantasy universe i think its important for worldbuilding to imagine what that fantasy universe’s lowest grade tumblr discourse is like.  today @combat-epistemologist and @transbionic-shieldmaiden told me about their fantasy world where “wizard” is a slur that can only be reclaimed by wizards and i lost my shit.  whats the pc term, pom (people of magicianship)? sorc*?

[gender-trash]

@transbionic-shieldmaiden and @combat-epistemologist have this shared scifi universe where theres an alien species called murtallians who culturally REALLY value Efficiency and Engineering and Rationality and shit, but they're not. like. *actually* Perfectly Rational -- for example theyre OBSESSED with squares and cubes because they're the Most Rational Shape (and thus will try to make everything a Cube even if that's not the objectively optimal thing to do in that particular situation)

SO sometimes in real life when something is satisfyingly square or cubical i find myself saying shit like "LOVE a good cube!!" and then im like. i sound like a fucking murtallian rn

[gender-trash]

too busy talking about schemin' sheev w the besties i almost forgot to go to my FUCKING JOB 🫠

[gender-trash]

hilariously, both @combat-epistemologist and i independently arrived at very nearly the same "first-time homebuyer" #look (we are going on a house visit today and YES i am still a little boggled at the fact that i'm saying "we could buy this house" with my human mouth). more evidence for the theory that we're two instances of some kind of hivemind entity that's really, really into button-down shirts

[gender-trash]

@combat-epistemologist made the mistake of handing me their phone and i set their weather app temperature units to celsius instead of fahrenheit >:) nyeh heh heh