#the crown ain't worth much

[cgcpoems]

I'm not exactly sure which wound is the one I belong to.

Hanif Abdurraqib, The Crown Ain't Worth Much

[nupeu]

“In Defense of that Winter Where I Listened to the First Taking Back Sunday Album Every Day Until the Snow Peeled Itself Back from the Grass and I Found My College Sweatshirt Again” by Hanif Abdurraqib, The Crown Ain’t Worth Much

[wordslivehere]

Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib

[readtilyoudie]

I began running when the fire started and I haven’t stopped since maybe I come from running maybe running is a country maybe everyone who lives there misses someone they thought would live forever

The Crown Ain't Worth Much by Hanif Abdurraqib

[recklessfiction]

Keep an Eye Out As You Travel West

You see a church, you just keep on walking. Most are abandoned anyhow, nothing left in 'em but the hollowed out husks of their priests. The rest have been filled by now; old pretenders, zealots, and self proclaimed prophets snatching up any man fool enough to worship. And that's if you're lucky. There are older things, other things that have curled up amidst the altars of the Lord like worms in dirt. If you're wanting to do any worshiping, best do it out under the sky.

There're things that roam the dust, figures of men with eyes deader than any corpse and smiles as bright and pretty as a lady's. They come around sometimes, always trying to pawn off some bizarre thing; elaborate crowns made of rusted nails, gold lockets with strange portraits inside, letters that can't be read without getting a deep pounding in your head, and keys rusted with so much blood it'd be a wonder if they turned anything at all. Now, I've seen what comes for folks who trade with them and I'll tell you this. Wherever they got their goods, it sure as shit wasn't from here.

You'll be hearing now about the "Oil Baptisms," I'm sure. Black sea water dredged up from some abyss, thicker than any water I've ever seen and you can smell it long a mile away. They say it gives people "the sight" but of what I can't say. All I know is that once you start smelling that briny shit on the wind, the screaming don't start long after.

Be careful what deals you make out here. There're plenty of strange folk who would be more than glad to work you down to the bone and long after, too. Work is work, crops need harvesting, graves need digging, meat needs carving, and idols need worshiping. Watch your words and read your contracts, else you might just be stuck washing the feet of the righteous until doomsday.

Best stay indoors once night comes, that's when a lot of the "families" start movin' out. They take to the roads, long lines of them, a parade of the ugliest sons of bitches you've ever seen. In the daylight, their skin never fits quite right and stinks to high heaven but once the sun dips past the trees, they start taking it off. They move from place to place, sloughing off their decayed flesh and stealing new off any traveler they come across. Lock your doors and put out your lights before they coming knocking on your door, asking sweetly, "Do you have anything I could wear?"

I am of the opinion that the woods ought not be traversed by folk who ain't been called there. Keep to the roads and towns, there's enough foul mess there if it's strangeness you're looking for. But what's in the woods has always been in the woods and if you pass the treeline with no business being there, well. The woods will give you business.

While a useful tool, a gun won't save you from drowning in the bathtub of a family of fanatic prognosticators, or from having your skin torn clean off by the night sky. Keep your ears up for any kind of protection you can get and learn to speak well because a lot of smart talk can get you out of a whole mess of trouble.

Keep on moving, friend. If you're looking to survive this trek, don't stop for anything, not even to bury the dead or feed the starving. It ain't worth what'll catch you, cause there's always things waiting for a fella to slow down so's they can get their claws in faster, deeper. You wanna be stuck here, in the fields and the dirt, under the big sky while hymns are burned into your skull? No?

Then keep on moving.

[omegalomania]

the kintsugi kid (ten years), fall out boy (2023)

muneaki shimode in "kintsugi: the art of broken pieces" (2015) // golden, fall out boy (2007) // "fall out boy: life after emo," rolling stone (2013) // gray, p. 163, pete wentz (2013) // letter to theo van gogh from vincent van gogh (1889) // sending postcards from a plane crash (wish you were here), fall out boy (2003) // notes from vincent van gogh's physician, dr. t peyron (1889) // gray, p. 150-151, pete wentz (2013) // fall out boy: this is hardcore, independent (2006) // they can't kill us until they kill us, "fall out boy forever," hanif abdurraqib (2017) // none of this rocks, "pills pills pills," joe trohman (2022) // the crown ain't worth much, "an ode to pete wentz, ending in tyler's funeral," hanif abdurraqib (2016) // none of this rocks, "hey, i just work here," joe trohman (2022) // "how fall out boy rose again," rolling stone (2013) // none of this rocks, "pills pills pills," joe trohman (2022) // yee sookyung on her translated vase series (2016) // saturday, fall out boy (2003)

[whilereadingandwalking]

As always, my favorites of the year list was beset by last minute changes, doubts, and decisions, especially because this year I forced myself into a top 10!

Second photo is my honorable mentions...I literally already have regrets! Ask me anything about these top choices—I'm happy to share my reviews, thoughts, and more!

My Top Ten of 2023:

Tale of Genji by Lady Murasaki Shikibu tr. Seidensticker

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

We Deserve Monuments by Jas Hammonds

The Vaster Wilds by Lauren Groff

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

Ace by Angela Chen

Babel by R.F. Kuang

Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

Our Share of Night by Mariana Enríquez tr. McDowell

Honorable mentions:

Now Go: On Grief and Studio Ghibli by Karl Thomas Smith

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami tr. Gabriel

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang

White Cat, Black Dog: Stories by Kelly Link

The Word for World is Forest by Ursula K. Le Guin

When the Hibiscus Falls by M. Evelina Galang

Let Us Descend by Jesmyn Ward

The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal

Bleed: Destroying Myths and Misogyny in Endometriosis Care by Tracey Lindeman

Never a City So Real by Alex Kotlowitz

The Crown Ain't Worth Much by Hanif Abdurraqib

Sons of Darkness (Jan ’24) by Gourav Mohanty

The End of August by Yū Miri tr. Giles

(Unpictured): Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

(Unpictured): The Thick and the Lean by Chana Porter

[otomefiend]

Alfons Sylvatica

Collection Event: I want to know every inch of you

A very quick translation, so please forgive any errors/awkwardness. Here's to hoping Kate will manage to fluster this guy one day. Cause it ain't today.

~~~

Alfons: "Physical examination...?"

Kate: "Regular checks are performed as part of the Crown's healthcare system. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated."

When Victor asked me to collect everyone's details, I called Alfons to the infirmary.

Alfons: "If that's the case, then go ahead. Do as much research as you like."

Kate: "There are some red marks on your neck and chest that..."

Alfons: "Hmm... those could be scratches from a cat or a dog."

(... if he says so. I shouldn't pursue the matter further)

Alfons: "I get marked easily. Would you like to test it yourself?"

Alfons ran his hand over his skin invitingly.

Crimson flowers blooming on his pale skin drew my gaze. The sight unsettled me and made me avert my eyes.

Kate: "No need to concern yourself with me!"

Alfons: "Oh, I see. That's a shame..."

~~~

(All right, now that I've learned all I needed to know)

Kate: "The assessment is over. Thank you for your cooperation."

Alfons: "Please wait. It looks like some fields are still empty?"

His finger tapped the corner of the record sheet I was holding.

(Huh...? I thought I filled it all in)

Indeed, the last item was still left blank. What was there ---

Kate: "The most important entry... 'erogenous zones'!?"

Alfons: "My my, this seems like an interesting section, don't you agree?"

Kate: "It must be a mistake! I'll go ask Victor!"

Alfons: "Why don't you just measure it according to the instructions?"

Alfons: "If it's a mistake, you can erase it later."

Alfons: "Lord Victor is busy, that's why he left this task to you, am I right?"

Alfons: "I don't think it's worth wasting time confirming this..."

(Ugh... he's probably right)

Kate: "T-then... could you shed some light? On your erogenous zones that is..."

Alfons: "Now then, you want to know where they are?"

Kate: "Yes?"

Alfons: "Thinking about it, it's hard to pinpoint the exact location..."

Kate: "... every day you return at dawn and yet you don't know?"

Alfons: "Uh-huh, haven't got a clue. Can you help me find out, Kate?"

Alfons: "Touch my body... Try to find a place that makes me feel good."

(I really should refuse...)

(...but he's right, I need to complete the records properly)

After pondering on it for a moment, a wicked idea came to mind.

(... this could be a perfect opportunity to expose Alfons' weaknesses)

Up until now, I had always been at his mercy.

But if I had succeeded, this was going to provide a perfect opportunity for a payback.

Kate: "...... fine, I'll do it. It's part of my task after all. Please, sit on the chair."

He sat in silence as I reached towards his body.

Observing his reactions, my fingertips slowly traced his chest, then stomach and finally his waist.

Alfons: "Haa... haa... ah, this is good. Keep it up..."

(Such exaggerated noises... it's definitely an act)

(How can I find his erogenous zones...)

Kate: "Does it really feel good?"

Alfons: "Yes, of course. Your clumsy attempt is quite entertaining..."

Alfons: "Besides, it's enlightening to observe the way you touch me."

Kate: "Enlightening...?"

Alfons: "All of the areas you're touching in your search... might be the very spots you find pleasurable yourself."

Kate: "Ugh...... absolutely not. My... this has nothing to do with me!"

Alfons: "Oh, are you going to stop? If it doesn't matter, I don't see a problem with continuing..."

Kate: "I think I've done enough research already!"

Alfons: "There are places you haven't explored yet. For example... inside my mouth."

Kate: "Inside your mouth..."

My gaze lingered on his thin lips.

Alfons: "Stir it with your tongue, taste it, suck it... check if it feels good."

Kate: "Yeah, yeah, how typical."

Alfons: "Well, without it, the form will be incomplete."

Kate: "Ugh."

Alfons: "... this is only for research purposes, right? It's your job to investigate after all."

Kate: "Fine..."

It felt wrong. It set off my alarm bells since I knew those were devil's whispers ---.

Alfons: "... As expected, you're an excellent fairytale expert."

How was it possible that one piece of praise could bring me so much joy?

Kate: "Nn...."

I carefully placed my hand on Alfons' shoulder and pressed my lips to his.

Then I wrapped my tongue around his and tried my best to stimulate him.

(It's a decent try, but... does it really make him feel good?)

Preoccupied with kissing him, I had no chance to pay attention to how Alfons was doing.

Alfons: ".... You're such a pitiful girl."

I heard him mutter in a gentle tone of voice ---.

Kate: "Huh!? Mnn...."

This time, it was Alfons' tongue that entered my mouth.

My head was spinning from kisses so intense that my earlier ones seemed like child's play in comparison.

(This is ridiculous...)

(I was supposed to look for Alfons' erogenous zones, and yet it was me getting lost in pleasure...)

When our lips finally separated, I was the one who was exhausted and breathing heavily on his shoulder.

Alfons: "....many thanks for your efforts in the investigation. You've been very helpful."

Kate: "You're wel...."

Alfons: "After all... that debauched face of yours might be what excites me the most."

Alfons: "... well, please write in your report that my whole body is an erogenous zone."

Alfons: "If there's a need to write anything to begin with..."

(......what?)

Hearing his strange remark, I quickly looked at the form... and noticed that the last section was nowhere to be found.

(No way, Alfons' ability to change perception...!?)

When I looked up to give him a piece of my mind, he was already gone.

~~~

Alfons: "Heh,... you troubled thing, so serious and so completely fooled."

~~~

[llovelymoonn]

Could you please do a web weaving about the death of a lover? Thank you.

via @reburials \\ hanif abdurraqib the crown ain’t worth much (via @geryone) \\ @solavey indigo \\ elizabeth barrett browning grief \\ thom gourley dead flowers 131 \\ thom gourley dead flowers 149 \\ corinne segal on grief: a conversation with sara henning (via @weltenwellen) \\ benoist van borren renaissance \\ euripides grief lessons: four plays b euripides (tr. anne carson) \\ david jones still sorrow \\ doris kareva shape of time: deo et die: "whoever has learned to love..." (tr. tiina aleman) (via @derangedrhythms)

kofi

[miyuhpapayuh]

nineteen.

“Oh, this place is gorgeous!” Zora exclaims, as they roll their suitcases inside of their cabin for the week. A much needed vacation.

“Ain't it? It was the third one I came past, had to book it.” Leon says, as they head through the larger than life living room. High ceilings became her favorite thing in an instant.

“Oh, yeah. The fridge, freezer and pantry are already stocked.” He says, stopping at the kitchen. Also another large area.

“How?” She asks, looking toward him.

“I might've taken a separate trip up here, found the closest grocery store— which is an hour out, might I add— and came back to stock it before I came to pick you up.” He says, shrugging like it was nothing.

“You are something else,” she laughs, “ proactive as hell, too!”

“Hey, I'm just making sure we got all we need, right here.” He taps the counter for emphasis, as she laughs again.

“You succeeded, for sure!”

Moving upstairs to the master bedroom, they immediately plop down on the alaskan king bed, laying flat on the clean & cozy comforter.

“Yeah, a week’s worth of sleep in this bed is gonna do me some good!” Leon says, turning his head to look at Zora, who wholeheartedly agrees.

“You and me, both! I might forget I have a job and just stay here.” She laughs, folding her arms behind her head.

“Right?! Stay right here, tucked away with my favorite lady.” He rolls over, her giggles sounding as he lays his weight on her.

Actually sprawling out and getting comfortable, clad in their sweats and sweatshirts, they turn their focus toward the beautiful view through the bay window.

“You think it'll snow?” She asks.

“I'm sure. It's cold as hell out there.” He responds, laying his head on her chest, his eyes following the pattern of clouds in the sky.

“Good. I haven't seen snow since I was a little kid, it seems.”

“Yeah, we get slush, most of the time.”

“Right? Can't drive in it, can't walk on it, can't build a snowman in it,” she goes on, making him laugh. “It's ridiculous. I want the flurries!”

“You'll get ‘em, babe. Count on it.” He assures, closing his eyes as sleep creeps up on him.

“You going to sleep, old man?” She teases.

“Mhm, it's getting me.” He responds. “You stayin’ up?”

“Nah, I'm next.” She admits, stretching her arms above her head, a yawn coming right after.

“Yeah, a good twelve hour drive’ll do that to ya..” He mumbles, a yawn stealing the last half of his sentence.

Mumbling back something just as incoherent, they eventually get quiet and knock out under each other.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Padding through the open space in her fuzzy socks, she moves into the kitchen to open the freezer, then the fridge, laughing to herself as they are indeed, fully stocked.

“He's so cute,” she shakes her head, pulling two waters out before closing it back.

Moving in front of another large window, she sighs in contentment. This week was gonna be fun.

In the midst of her daze, Leon slides up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiles to herself.

“Hey,” he says, kissing the crown of her head.

“Hey,” she responds, holding up a water bottle, “I was on my way back.. just had to stop and stare for a minute.”

“I wasnt trippin’,” he says, taking the water from her, barely detaching himself from her as he took a swig. “Thought I'd come and see where you were, though. I started missing you.”

She giggles, turning to face him and that toothy smile of his. He leans down to kiss her lips a few times.

“Three minutes is all it takes?”

“Try three seconds! I stayed put so you didn't think I was crazy.” He says, making her laugh again.

“Aw, you were gonna sniff after me like a puppy, huh?” She teases, taking a sip of her own water.

“Unashamed, baby.” He replies, shrugging his shoulders.

“Again, how lucky am I?”

He smirks, pulling her right back into him, his fingers twirling around the ends of her curly ponytail.

“The luckiest is what I am. You're just getting everything you've always deserved.” He says, kissing her nose.

“Don't make me cry, our tears might freeze out here.” She jokes, even though he's already wiping her lone one away.

“Sorry,” he smiles, “but you do deserve it.”

“So do you, babe. Sweetest man in the land.”

“In the whole land??”

“The whole thang, Avery!” She exclaims. “I mean, really.”

Moving further into the living room, they cut the tv on and sit on the spacious couch, pulling the throw blanket over themselves.

“I'm so glad we could take this trip. We definitely needed it.” Leon says, while Zora flips through the channels to find something worth watching.

“Me too. It's been a hectic month, that January.” She playfully scolds.

“Tell me about it! If I had to work another day in that damned warehouse, I woulda quit.”

“Hm. Ever thought about quitting?” She asks, sitting the remote down once she finds some cartoons.

“Yeah, actually. I don't see myself staying there very long.”

“What would you wanna do instead? What's always been something you wanna take up?”

“Photography has always been at the forefront of my mind. Seeing the beauty of the world through a lens is something special. Writing is definitely right behind it. Like, maybe not publish a book, but getting on stage and performing pieces is the coolest.”

She nods, the wheels already turning in her head. “Two really great career choices for you.”

“You think so?” He asks, looking at her now. She nods again.

“You're a beast with the camera and your writing brings me to tears, so yeah! A shoe-in.”

“Glad I have your support, beautiful.” He kisses her forehead.

“Any time, any day.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Waking up again, this time lazily sprawled out on the sofa, Zora stretches and looks toward the kitchen, finding Leon, preparing dinner.

Peering over at her for the thousandth time, his smile brightens as he finds her awake. She's rubbing her eyes, the side of her face still pressed to the pillow she's laid on.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he calls out, chuckling as she waves, still too sleepy to verbally respond. Her sighs and grumbles sound as she stirs a bit more.

Staring out the window to the left of the living room, the deep blue, ever-starry sky as it begins to melt into an even deeper blue.

“Sorry,” she finally speaks, “I had no idea I was this sleepy.”

He waves her off. “Don't be. We came out here to relax, babe. Get all the sleep you need and want.”

“Mmkay,” she says, covering herself back up in the blanket, immediately cackling as he stomps over to get her up.

“No right now, Jean!” He laughs, lightly shaking her. “I'm cooking!”

“I'm just playing, you big baby!” She snickers, taking his hand as he leads her toward the island, sitting her atop a stool and kissing her forehead, before heading back to the stove.

“So, what you makin’?” She asks, feeling her stomach rumble from the yummy smell of spices and herbs.

“Decided to make a loaded potato soup.” He says with his back still to her, but she can hear the excitement in his voice.

“Yummy! Do you need me to do anything?”

“Mhm, just sit there and look pretty for me.” He responds, turning around in time for her eye-roll.

“I knew it!” He laughs, turning back to what he's doing. “But you can actually slice this French bread and put it in the oven for me.”

Hopping up, she heads over to the counter to wash her hands, about to look for a knife when he carefully hands her one, another forehead kiss coming her way.

She smiles at the affection, bumping his hip before pulling the bread from its bag, slicing half of it to her liking, the other half to his liking. Sticking them on a baking sheet, she placed a pad of butter on each one before sliding in the oven.

“Wow, that was so much work.” She jokes, making him laugh.

“Stop clowning and taste this,” he says, cupping his hand underneath the spoon he was holding out for her.

As soon as the food hits her taste buds, she nods and closes her eyes. “Leon, I swear to god.”

“It's good, ain't it?” He asks, already nodding and laughing, the sound doubling as she joins in. They share a high-five.

“It's absolutely delicious! Hell, add being a chef to that list, cause wow.” She exclaims before whipping around to retrieve the bread before it burns.

Indulging in the comfort meal, Zora is still singing his praises with every bite, boosting his confidence like no other.

“My big head is gonna be your fault, I just want you to know now.” He laughs.

“That's fine! I ain't ever had food this good— don't tell Pam.” She snickers, taking another sip of her wine.

“I thought first-naming mamas was off limits?” He asks.

“It is, that's why I said don't tell her!” She exclaims, earning another laugh from him.

“Tellin’ her as soon as we get back,” he teases, pulling her glass away to refill it, reveling in the delight on her face.

“I never get to indulge in my wine, so thank you.” She smiles, putting the glass back up to her lips.

“My pleasure.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

After dinner, Zora decided to take her shower first, slipping into the master bathroom and instantly pouting at the sight of an orange puff and matching rag, her favorite body wash, and her towel already hanging on the rack for her.

“Ugh, he's so cute!” She tipsily giggles, peeling her clothes off and heading into the walk-in shower, singing along to the music that's playing further down the hall.

Wetting her curls underneath the hot, hot water, she sighs blissfully as she scrubs her troubles— read: none— away.

Watching the suds go down the drain, she turns the water off and reaches around for her towel, wrapping it around herself, wringing out her curls before throwing them up in a bun.

Stepping into the slippers he'd also laid out for her, she waltzes back into the room, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed, camera in hand.

“Hey, stand right there!” He excitedly says, pulling the camera back up to his face, snapping a picture of her where she stands. Of course, she posed for it.

“Camera ready, huh?” He chuckles as she crosses the floor to him, laughing at the picture as he holds it up for her to see.

“I look so cheesy,” she snorts, sitting down beside him.

“Cheesin’ hard as hell, baby.” He adds, looking over at her just as she leans in to kiss him. A dazed smile on her face as she pulls away.

“What was that for?” He asks, smiling just like she.

“Cause I love you.” She simply says, making his heart thud in his chest.

“I love you more, sweetheart.” He leans back in for another kiss. Then another, swapping out the camera for the sides of her face as the kisses get a bit deeper.

She giggles against his lips, pulling away a bit breathless as she looks at him, the stars in the night sky not comparing to the ones in both of their eyes.

“Go shower and come back, I got things I wanna do to you.” She softly says, biting her lip as he stands from the bed, hovering over her damp body.

“You have no idea, baby.” He mumbles back, nuzzling his face against hers for a couple seconds, reluctantly pulling away and all but rushing out of the room, because he knew he'd get started, right then and there, if he didn't.

Letting out a breathless laugh, she shakes the chills away and sprints over to her bag, pulling out the white hot babydoll dress. She smirks and holds it up to her smooth, chocolate skin, staring straight ahead at the mirror in the corner of the room.

“Oh, yeah.” She nods, reaching for her sandalwood body lotion and deodorant, lathering herself in the smell-good and pulling the dress on her thick frame, more than pleased with how she looks.

Pulling her semi-dry curls from its bun, she shakes them so they fall over her shoulders, perfectly tousled.

She sits in his spot, grabs his camera, careful not to drop it due to her tipsiness and takes a few pictures for him to find later, before sitting it on the dresser.

After what felt like forever, he returned to the room with a towel covering his waist, his hand rubbing down his face before his eyes landed on the beauty that is Zora.

The air leaves his lungs for a few moments, his lips part to say something, hands twitch slightly as his mouth salivates. His print became more noticeable at the sight before him.

“You like it, don't you?” She asks, her deep, teasing tone making the hairs on his neck stand up.

Still unable to speak, he nods.

His eyes travel from her pretty face to the swell of her breasts, her soft thighs, the gold anklet adorning her left ankle and her pretty olive painted toes. The white lace against her skin is his new favorite thing.

“You.. you look so pretty, baby.” He finally speaks, making her smile and motion for him to come closer, til he's standing before her.

“All for you.” She says, cupping his chin to pull him closer to her lips, sighing at the softness of his kisses. It was his turn to breathlessly pull away.

“Wow… I wanna take a picture, but I think I might drop my camera,” he nervously laughs, shyly rubbing his hands up her thighs.

“It's okay, baby.” She softly assures him, covering his hands with her own. “You want me to take it for you?”

She swore she saw his pupils dilate at such a question, his fingers digging into her flesh now. She smirks, loving the way she makes him crumble.

“I can pose for you, again.” She further teases, walking her fingers up and down his bare, ripped stomach, stopping at the knot in his towel.

The doe-eyed look she's giving him could turn him into a puddle, as he stumbles out a yes.

Standing from the bed, she grabs the camera from the nightstand, luckily still having a conscious enough mind to steady her hands, as she climbs up and sits on her knees, finding the timer setting before sitting it at an angle on the bed.

Staying in her bent position, she quickly flips her hair and arches her back as the flash goes off. His eyes travel right to her bare ass peeking from underneath the short lingerie.

“My god,” he sighs, moving to sit on the ottoman out of the way, feeling all the blood in his head rush south.

“I got the best seat in the house.” He darkly chuckles, waving as she looks back at him.

Moving into her next position, she turns to face him now, hands on her boobs, her lip deeply into and her eyes on him through the lens.

“Stick your fingers in your mouth… mhm, like that.” He grunts, palming his hard dick through the towel that's barely around his waist still.

Sitting through one more pose, he groans out her name, unable to take any more teasing.

She grabs the camera from the bed, turns it off and begins to get off the bed, when he slips it out of her hand and fiddles with it before sitting it down on the nightstand, hovering over her, backing her back up on the bed.

Her heart is thudding in her chest, she leans on her elbows and watches him eye her body like a precious diamond. She never felt so delicate in her life.

Her fingers reach out to undo the barely hanging on tuck of his towel, purring as it reveals his hard and pretty dick.

“Please fuck me.” She moans, lifting a leg to place it on his shoulder. His mouth waters double time at how flexible she is, coupled with how wet she is.

The day she took up yoga as a hobby was worth it, especially if it was gonna lead her to moments like this.

“I got you, princess.” He pulls her other leg up, taps the head against her clit, rubbing against it to make her jerk, her hooded eyes finding his as he slides all the way inside, groaning something terrible.

“Fuuckk!” She moans incredulously, that delicious snug grip tripping both of them up as he begins thrusting into her.

Her breasts bounce underneath the soft material, her nipples peeking through the lace, and he can't help but swirl his tongue around her left, then her right one.

“It's sso good,” she throws her head back, “oh fuck, that's so good baby!”

Deep and fast, right into her spot, making her see stars with every thrust. Her hands reach out for his arms, squeezing for dear life.

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he desperately growls into her ear, “fuckin’ smell so good, I ju— just wanna eat you alive.”

Her breath hitches as he bites down on her neck, soothing it with his tongue after. Her body flattens against the bed, her legs still propped up on his shoulders.

“Leon… fuck, baby,” she whines, while he kisses up her ankles, then her chest and neck, his slippery tongue making her squeak out moans.

Overwhelmed in the best ways, she closes her eyes and lays her hands at her head, smiling as his hands find hers, linking them together as he deeply strokes into her.

“I love you,” he says with a kiss to her lips. “I adore you,” next, her left cheek. “Fuckin’ treasure you,” her right cheek. “God, you wreck me…”

She deliriously moans at his confessions against her heated skin, feeling her stomach tingle and curl as her orgasm gets closer to the surface.

“So damn beautiful,” he grumbles into her neck, open mouthed kisses and sucks make her slipperier in between her legs, her ankles lock around his neck, ultimately pulling him closer. His strokes never falter, getting deeper.

“I'm gonna cum all over you,” she gasps, squeezing their hands, their lips just a few centimeters away from each other.

“Cum all over me, baby… let me have it,” he groans, nipping at her quivering bottom lip, “I feel you, baby.. let it out for me.”

Her body spasms as she cries out, flooding his lap and the sheets underneath them, his hips still slamming into hers.

“Oh, b-baby!” She squeals, his lips covering hers to swallow her every breath, consuming her like he desperately wishes.

Releasing her hands, they find her thighs, pulling them down to wrap around his waist as he continues to dip into her ever-wet paradise.

Her whines and gasps hit the back of his throat, his tip pushing right into the spot that's got her leaking down both of their thighs.

Letting her come up for air, she beats against his chest, crying out, “it's too much! Fuck, I'm g-gonna cum again, baby!”

Grabbing her chin, he watches as her eyes flutter back open, landing on his intense gaze.

“There she is,” he smirks, “cum for me, beautiful.”

Her release triggers his own, as they fall into each other, moaning and gasping for air as they rut their hips until they can't anymore.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

The next couple days went by as slow as molasses, much to the couples’ liking. They were having way too much fun doing absolutely nothing but what they wanted.

“I can't remember the last time I was away from my phone this long,” he says, popping another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Same. It's still got a good charge on it from a day ago,” she snorts, snuggling into his side a bit more.

“You alright?” He asks, looking over at her.

“Yeah, just cold.” She softly laughs, tucking her hands in the pocket of her hoodie.

“Want me to turn the heat up?”

“Please?” She asks, snickering as he reaches out his impeccably long arm to the thermostat on the wall above their heads, pushing it up to seventy-eight.

She thanks him, and he kisses her forehead as they turn their attention to the movie. Tonight they were watching monster house. Another favorite of hers, his too.

“These kids were bad as hell,” Leon snorts.

“That's not you and Craig??” She looks between him and the movie, laughing at his shameful nod.

“Yeah, you got me there.” He chuckles. “Who's the girl, then?” He asks, keeping it going.

“Me! Duh!” She scoffs a laugh.

“Oh yeah, they were coupled up near the end, weren't they?”

“Yeah! I mean, they fought over her just about the entire movie, but DJ got his girl.” She nods, popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Hm..”

“What?”

“Halloween ideas,” he shrugs. “He's got like a Freddy Kruger thing goin’ on with that black and red sweater but.. I could make it work.”

“You wanna be DJ and Jenny for Halloween??” She gushes, making him decide right then and there.

“The look on your face is too precious for me to say  nothing but yes.” He smiles.

“Aw, this is gonna be so cute!” She squeals, making him laugh and kiss her cheek.

“I gotta find a schoolgirl-esque outfit, now.” She taps her chin, while he smirks to himself.

“Short skirt, huh?” He asks.

“Nope. It's gonna come past my knees.” She answers, snickering at the stale look he gives her.

“I'll cut it.”

“I'll cut you.” She quips.

“You'd cut me, for real??”

“Hm… if you ever cut me off again, yes.” She nods, turning her attention back to the movie.

He sighs, pulling her into his side more. “I won't test it, trust me.”

“Good. I'd hate for you to get dotted up.”

About an hour or so into their movie marathon, a few white specks fall out of the corner of her eye, making Zora turn her head and gasp super hard.

“What? What??” Leon asks, looking around and then in the direction she's facing, relieved to find it snowing outside and not it being an ax murderer standing at the window.

“It's snowing!”

“Aw, look at that. Let's go put our boots on and go outside.” He says, standing up and reaching for her hand, which she quickly takes and they head upstairs to get dressed.

Soon, they're outside in it, bundled up and still shivering but ecstatic at how much snow is actually coming down.

“Wow! It's a literal winter wonderland out here!” She yells, clearly too excited to contain herself. Of course Leon brought his camera out to capture this moment.

“On a scale from one to a million, how happy are you right now?” He asks.

“A jillion and three!” She excitedly jumps, both of them laughing as he snaps her picture.

“Seriously it's been decades since I've seen actual snow! The little kid in me is ready to make a snowman! You down?!”

“Hell yeah!”

Of course their game began with a snowball fight, like the two big kids they are.

“You've got an arm like Elf!” She screams, ducking and laughing as another snowball comes hurling at her face. “Why are you throwing them so fast?!”

Meanwhile, he's having the time of his life, chucking snowballs like a madman. Laughing his ass off at the way her tiny frame keeps popping up and down out of sight.

“Leon!” She screams again, this time, popping him right in the face with her own snowball. It had been the only one to connect so far.

"I did it! Woo-hoo!"

Her victory dance made the ice on his face worth it, as he wiped it away. She was having so much fun and he was soaking it all up.

“You got me!”

“I did! Finally!”

After pelting each other with snow a little more, they moved on to making their snowman. A first for both of them.

“I helped Eryn make one— well, I tried to help her but I got frustrated fast and gave up.” Leon says as they roll the first ball for the base.

“How old were y'all?” She asks out of curiosity.

“Ten or so? Yeah.”

“Avery, you've been impatient all your life?” She cracks, thankful that he laughed.

“Blame my parents, and my stubbornness I suppose.” He shrugs, before nudging her. “I was patient with you, though. Don't that count for something?”

“Absolutely,” she giggles, looking away from him to get herself together.

“But, we're gonna make this snowman!” She says, now looking him back in his eyes. He holds his hands up.

“Yes ma'am!”

Finishing the base was surprisingly easy since they didn't make it gigantic, just big enough. Moving onto the middle ball, however, proved to be a bit more difficult. It kept cracking in the middle.

His irritated grumbles and huffs and puffs of frosted air were all that could be heard, while he tried working through his frustration. Zora placed her gloved hands on top of his, hoping it would calm him down.

“Leon, it's okay. Relax.” She softly speaks.

“I don't know why it's not working,” he chuckles, being far from amused.

“Because why not. It's always the simplest of things that don't always go as planned. But beating the snow isn't gonna turn it into a ball, baby.”

He huffs, again. “I know.”

“I gotta teach you what patience is.”

“I know patience.”

“Yeah, not well enough. Come on.” She says before moving to an area with a bit more snow, beginning to roll a ball out of it.

He saunters over and helps, biting his lip in concentration as they roll the middle and top, thanking god they stuck together perfectly.

“See?! We did it!” She cheers, elated as he slaps her open palm.

“We did! Now we gotta make the face!” He exclaims, excitedly looking around for a stick.

Berries for the eyes, a stick for the arms and nose, and Zora’s scarf completed their snowman, and Leon wasted not a second to take a picture of their masterpiece.

“Awww, he's the cutest snowman ever!” She laughs, pulling her scarf from around it carefully, as they head inside.

“I'm glad we could do that. It was really fun.” He says, locking the patio door behind them, sitting their boots on the mat to dry, as they shed their wet jackets, gloves and hats.

“Yeah, it was. I can't feel my fingers or toes, but I had a great time!” She says, taking a seat on the floor by the fireplace as Leon comes over to get it going.

“Hm.. do we have stuff to make s'mores?” She asks, humming a laugh at the smirk on his face.

“I'll be right back.”

Reaching up to grab the blanket from the couch, she wraps it around herself just as he's coming back with everything they needed.

“You really thought of everything!”

“I told you!”

Sitting the plates down with everything else, he gently peels the blanket from her, pulls her in between his thighs and wraps it around them both.

“Better?” She asks.

“Much.” He answers, kissing her cheek as he leans them forward to put their marshmallows on the sticks, handing one to her as they hold it over the fire.

Moving on to smash it between two graham crackers and rich pieces of hershey's chocolate, they munch on the staple campfire snack in pure contentment.

“I might eat like twelve of these,” she laughs.

“We've got more of everything in the closet, too.” He snorts, “you can live your fat kid dreams, baby.”

“Ugh, I love you!” She yells.

“I know,” he smiles. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“How come you don't talk about your dad?” He asks.

“There's not much to talk about.” She shrugs. “Haven't seen him since I was thirteen. Barely knew of him when he was underneath the same roof we were.”

“Hm.”

“What about yours? I haven't ever heard you say much besides you despising him.”

“Eh, it's a bit more complicated. We weren't always at each other's throats. He just doesn't get me. Don't try to either. It's like nothing I did was good enough.” He shrugs.

“Fathers. What a joke.” She bitterly laughs. “Just promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Don't be that kind of father to our baby.”

“You wanna have my baby, one day?” He asks, laying his head on shoulder, holding her closer.

“Of course I do, babe. Wanna marry you. Grow old. Get on your nerves forever.” She smiles like he can see her.

“Wow. I'll be the best father to our baby. Best husband to you. I promise. No doubt, I wanna marry you.”

“Hell, we could get married right now!” Zora laughs, quickly shaking her head. “It's still too soon for that.”

He laughs and agrees. “Just a bit more time. And, I promise I won't buy one of those stadium rings either. I don't need you fighting me.”

“I taught you well! I can't wait to tell Nique cause if it's one thing we hate, it's those goddamn rings!”

“They're humongous and ugly, yeah. I won't have you out here looking like that.”

“I've got one more question.” He says.

“What is it?”

“When you were teaching me patience out there… is that what love feels like?”

“That would have to be for you to answer, honestly. My answer is yes, but what's yours?” She asks, turning her head to look at him.

“That's the first time I didn't feel ridiculed for being impatient, so yes. You were patient even though I knew I was tapping on your nerves. That's definitely love.”

“I'm glad you feel that way. I've got all the patience and understanding in the world for you.” She says, peering up at him.

"I love you, Jean."

"And, I love you Avery."

They share a sticky kiss, before getting back to munching on their treat.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

“Do we really have to leave today?” She asks, pouting all over again.

“I know, I don't wanna leave either. But we have to. Gotta go back home and make money for our next trip.” He smiles to himself.

“What?” She whips around to look at him, halting her packing. “Next trip? Where are we going?”

“Yes, where are we going?” He repeats, looking over at her now.

“I get to choose??”

“Mhm.” He nods, a smile still on his face.

“Hm. Yeah, we better hurry back cause I wanna go to Bora Bora. That's one of the most romantic places to visit!”

“I'll start looking at hotels— you wanna stay in a hut, don't you?”

“You know me so well!”

“I do, I do.”

“Oooh, a springtime vacation is always on my list! Me and the girls usually take one, but I'm sure all our plans have changed since finding rockheaded boyfriends.” She laughs.

“Rockheaded? What did my head do to you??” He asks, faux hurt.

“Nothing,” she giggles, waltzing over to him to rub the back of his head.

“Ah, now you adding insult to injury!” He laughs, swatting her hand away, which turns into them play-fighting.

A couple slaps to his arms and stomach, before her world turns upside down, literally, as he picks her up and slams her down on the bed, both of them laughing like crazy.

“That's no fair!” She faux whines.

“I'll let you win, one day.” He laughs, leaning down to kiss her lips a couple sweet times.

@thegifstories @blackerthings @sheabuttahwrites @ghostfacekill-monger @miyahmaraj @harmshake @honestpreference @twistedcharismaaa @nayaesworld @nayaxwrites @blowmymbackout @headcannonxgalore @mauvecherie-writes @cecereads209

[wordslivehere]

from THE STORY OF THE LAST PUNK ROCK SHOW BEFORE THE CITY TORE DOWN LITTLE BROTHER’S

by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib

... August makes another slow and hot exit. The seasons I remember most are the ones I never want to come again. And isn’t this how each story starts? With a list of things we know we cannot take back? And, still. Everything has an end. This is where I tell you what I most want to hear myself: none of it was real. I am still sitting in a diner on the Eastside of Columbus and it has felt like summer for ten whole years. There is still a living mother, hovering over a sewing machine in the home I can always come back to. My name is still scrawled on the bathroom wall of a dive bar. The dive bar is still a dive bar. I am a forest of beginnings. I am never alone. I do not bury. I do not funeral. I can still look into mirrors. I do not see a chorus of ghosts. I do not cover my bedroom walls in posters of old punk bands to keep the ghosts out. I am at a diner and the table is full. No one is covered in dirt. The jukebox is still hungry for the silver that lines our pockets. Kurt Cobain is still singing I’m so happy / ‘cause today / I’ve found my friends…

In this version, we are laughing loud enough to drown out the next line. Kurt sings

They’re in my head

And I pretend not to feel winter moving in.

[readtilyoudie]

the bodies of black boys thrash against what little life they have left tethering them to the earth and isn’t that what we’ve always been fed? that it is just like the nighttime to rename everything that moves into a monster?

The Crown Ain't Worth Much by Hanif Abdurraqib

[darkerthanblack-666]

Ok, so the summary of today's day (it's fun, you know I'm a writer, so I can make it fun):

Before the concert+the concert

I went out. It didn't rain. I got to the city centre and it was raining like hell, but of course I didn't have an umbrella... I had my leather jacket though. Leather jackets are useful, because you can take them off and cover your hair and they don't get wet. But when I got there, it stopped raining, yay! Lucky me 😆

I got there maybe an hour before the doors? I would get an usual spot at the barrier on the side, but a girl was keeping it for her friend, so I let them have it and went to the middle. It was scary at first, because I never know what my happen and it's hard for me to stand for too long (which everyone knows, because I talk about it here a lot), but as usual the BC fandom here is very chill and most people were super nice and friendly and polite to each other, it's one of the main reasons why I love their concerts so much 💖

Most of the time I didn't see much, but Joel and Joonas got many interactions, if I find videos of those, I'll let you know! I had Joel right in front of me almost all the time, I could see his red snoot and wet upper lip, and he hit his face with the chain all the damn time... this guy 😆. Honestly, I had more fun there, in the 3rd row, than at the barrier on the side. Maybe it's because I was close to Joel, dunno 🤣. But it was probably my best BC concert so far, because I finally managed to relax and my anxiety was on a very low level. It really makes a huge difference!

Oh, and of course I lost my hairband with a big red bow. All because of Ghostkid's vocalist! I was filming Dark Side and he got near the crowd, I had no idea he was going to jump into it, because I'm small, I barely can see what's going on with everyone around being so tall. So he knocked off my hairband and I managed to catch my classes on time 😭. But I did catch him somehow, I made sure he didn't fall. Also damn, this guy is so light! Even with my health issues I feel like I could carry him myself easily. Also I'm not super sad about the hairband, if someone found it they can keep it, it's just a funny story 😂. If I lost my glasses, THEN I'd be upset. Because glasses are expensive. Btw I literally have it on video, I have proof! It's the funniest part of it 🤣

We also got another "kurwa bob" moment and Niko got a flower crown in the colors of the Polish flag! I even managed to take a quick photo (as I said, my camera is shite):

(he took it off soon after, so I was lucky to catch this moment on my camera, also hi Joel you look awful here, but so do I in most of the photos and you're still my fave edgelord 💖)

Meeting the band after the concert

I wasn't sure if it was worth to wait for them. It was still a bit rainy and the last day bus was leaving in 30min (night buses arrive only every 30min, so it's a pain in the ass). Most people have left, there weren't many of us left, maybe ~20 people waited? But I thought I don't get to see them live that often, so what the hell, I'll wait.

There were staff members and guys from the supporting bands walking around freely (everyone is always polite and we let them work in peace, it's why I love the fans here, they don't chase anyone away 💖), even Olli just walked around unbothered (I think only I noticed him at that time tbh, but I ain't a snitch hehe).

Tommi and Aleksi just went to the bus and it's understandable. Tommi is just Tommi and Aleksi was sick. All of the other guys actually stayed with us to talk and I've never had such a long interaction with them before! I feel even luckier and I'm so happy that I stayed 😍

I think everyone knows Joel is sick, so we didn't want to bug him too much. He was nice enough to let us take some photos and let us give him hugs, and he was pretty much braindead 😂. But it's understandable, he's usually braindead and he's also sick, so it's worse. I'm happy I could give him a proper hug this time, because the first time I met him I was too scared for one. The 2nd time I asked for one and patted his shoulder nervously. But this time? I just hugged him with no fear! I'm making progress here 💖

Niko is always the most friendly one, so we had a chat with him and he asked what does kurwa mean (really dude? you have no google in your phone?) and I told him it's like vittu, other people added more information, and I said he should google it, he'll find funny things. Niko, please. Just google it, dude 😂.

I also hugged him and he has a really soft coat, which other girls pointed out and he joked he's wearing nothing underneath, because he's Finnish and isn't cold (a deja vu moment, because there was exactly the same situation in Poznań before: "Niko, aren't you cold?" "No, I'm Finnish"), so I also told him it used to be much colder here in general, because we did have very cold winters before. It's always fun talking to Niko 💖

The next one was Olli, but I'm leaving Olli for the last part of the story, because it's the best. Now, I did hug Joonas and got a photo with him, but my brain is totally blank if we actually did talk to him. I think not really? Uh, dunno 😂. But it was a positive interaction as well 💖

Now, Olli. Everyone knows I just couldn't like the guy because of his crazy stans, so I was "meh" about him, but actually meeting him properly just changed my mind. He's really easy to talk to! But I really didn't think I'd manage to come up with an interesting topic, I usually have nothing to say and I'm horrible at asking questions.

My brain decided to ask him about Silent Library. It basically went like:

Me: "So I watched this show, Silent Library Suomi, and you were getting all these red cards. Was it done like that on purpose, or was it just a coincidence?

Olli (grinning): "it's called back luck"

Now, if you watched their vlogs and he had those funny moments with puns everyone loved, IT WAS LIKE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. But I don't have it on the camera (which is ok, I did that just for myself).

He explained it really was accidental and no one was plotting against him (I did joke that Joel maybe did 😂). I think he enjoyed talking about it, because I doubt anyone would get an idea to ask him about this show (though I might be wrong).

So here you go, it's called bad luck. That's it. I got the info from the man himself 😂

But, there's more. The girl who was taking photos of us had a malfunctioning phone and accidentally took a photo of his feet and he was wearing flip flops (she did show it to him too lmao). I'll share it as soon as I get it. Also she came up with a joke that I already told her I'm going to steal:

OlliFans

(feet pic coming soon 👌)

We all laughed really loud at it (Olli wasn't there anymore, so we=us girls), so I'm releasing it into the world, because it can't be kept in containment 😂

That's it for now, more video content coming tomorrow (cause I'm tired)

[orpheuslament]

Hanif Abdurraqib, from The Crown Ain't Worth Much