#the duality of teenhood

[dustyvent]

Oh to be young and unafraid. Loud and boisterous. Full of confidence, unafraid of spewing hateful words when the world revolves around you. To be untouchable and undeniable. The fear of fitting in or standing out coursing through your veins. I wish to go back to the days where death was but a mere trope, something that could happen to anyone but you. The days where my voice could be heard from miles away, loud laughter booming across the sky with not a care in the world. I wish to go back to the days when I was untouchable, all the bad in the world was but a faraway fable, rape, and war, and hunger were things I deeply cared about but would never happen to me. When I did not care about my safety because I was always safe in my own world, when fear was a concept unknown to me, and consequences would come after every decision.

I wish for the days when death would not creep up on me slowly and make a home in my bones.