#the feeling of the vast being not uncaring but simply unaware and inherently caring in its ignorance.
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I'm fine now dw
#this is not a good long term solution but weed does make me significantly less depressed#thus far extremely effective in ending mental and emotional breakdowns#''will I still want to kms if I'm high?'' the answer is always no when I'm high I want to eat dry cereal and listen to video game music#the hatsune miku pikachu song has by the power of weed restored my will to live#if I didn't care about the long term effects I'd stay high all the time tbh. so much less pain. everything is funnier. its easier to smile.#my chest doesn't hurt. nothing is scary. i simply do not care about the general state of things. brushing my teeth feels nice.#the water is soft. I have my earplugs in and the sound of my own breathing is soothing instead of annoying.#I can do anything but I have to do it extremely slowly. Thats fine. I'm not upset about people yelling at me because I don't care.#All is well. keep on keepin on. no need to think beyond tomorrow. no need to think beyond tonight.#no need to think beyond making myself safe and warm and clean and fed and cozied up with only sounds that make me happy#this is the feeling humans were created for. the feeling of being cradled by the universe thrumming in the back of our hearts.#the feeling of the vast being not uncaring but simply unaware and inherently caring in its ignorance.#water to drink soothing and aiding and fueling her creations. all is well. all is well.#there is a crack in the paint in my bathroom that looks like a super buff ant
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