#the horrors can be many things ranging from absolutely fucking hating your art with every fiber of your being

[n0ct0urn1quet]

being an artist means you can draw literally whatever you want but it also means experiencing The Horrors from time to time

[botslayer]

Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

9.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

8.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

7.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

6.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy. 

5.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

4.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

3.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

2.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically. 

1.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter. 

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

im gonna go full english lit under the cut

I saw measure for measure??? with my local Shakespeare in the Park about  month and a half ago and im mcfucking obsessed with it. So much so that ive tried to find every clip of every film, every show, rehearsal, production, that i can to compare how scenes played out. I even listened to a harvard lecture about it, i’m that far gone. I BOUGHT. A SHIRT. I bought the book with additional notes and discussions because this play is fascinating.

WHY AM I OBSESSED?!

All readings through different lenses are there in full force, fully supported, living side beside with one another. And professors, actors, directors, scholars etc, all seem to congregate on the fact that not one reading is more valid than the other. Theyre so well balanced without ever really given moral answers but merely presented, almost like the Jacobean meaning of the “glass” both a mirror to predict the future and reflect on oneself. And in a post elizabethan age where puritans were outlawing plays and putting stricter holds on licentiousess this play is so close to upsetting the dominant religious force.

And the READINGS! ARE ALL! SO GOOD! There is historicist reading (king James I), Folkloric, Religious, SadoMasochist, Psychosexual, Moral, Feminist, and Capitalistic readings. THEY ALL EXIST SIDE BY SIDE.

And the staging of the play determines how many of these a production can pull together. I think that is why I wanted to see as many scenes are possible. 

I think just the way Angelo and Isabella are played will determine which main reading the play tackles. 

I’ve seen some versions of the interview scenes that are truly horrific acts of sexual violence that made me watch between my fingers. In this the feminist reading can come into full force, the full underline of Angelo as a sexual predator is made prevalent. And the line “and with an outstretched throat i will tell the world what man thou art, Angelo” being present that strong feminist reading IS ALWAYS THERE. (DID I MENTION I LOVE ISABELLA FLAWS AND ALL). The idea that Isabellas voice is the most crucial device in the play is FLOORING.  

The Duke being a nearly godly figure who knows all and manipulates all, Angelo as his emissary becomes like an angel in the process of self corruption, from the inhumane ice he is so dubbed to warmed by the sins he so condemns. And Isabella defending the thing she so hates because it is her brother who commits the sin is the defense of someone who does not truly believe her brother is just. Mercy as justice. To wield power and to use it for mercy is so profound, and she is the only one who carries her ethos through like this to the end ofthe play. I’m not a theologist but so far this is the reading of theologists into the matter.

The version I saw in person he practically throws himself at her feet and it becomes an interplay of the psychosexual and moral. His knees buckle under her touch, it becomes the interaction of repressed sexuality channeled into both law and religion. In the Stratford production Isabella wipes her brow with water out of disgust or heat, no one is sure. it’s left ambivalent. In the one I saw Angelo was made almost comedic and sympathetic, which made ISabellas mercy still feel like an axe coming down upon his head. 

And then characters like Barnadine just using comedy, the genre of the gods as the greeks called it, to dimish law, to put it to shame. To put the godly/playwright Duke in his place.

The folkloric bed switch (which is folklore yes but Im not totally comfortable calling it consensual even tho Angelo is a sexual predator you can bring modern sensibilities to the reading), is indicative of oral traditions that predate shakespeare. The idea that every character must do in this play the thing they most loathe to do.

Claudio fears death so he must die, Isabella must have sex to save a life when she has sworn herself to chastity. Then they both sort of hurt each other, Claudio by asking her to yield herself up to this non consensual sexual coercion of upmost grossness, and isabella by telling him to be happy he will die because there is nothing so painful as being alive (ISABELLA HES AN EXPECTING FATHER). He asks her to do the thing she loathes most in a fit of desperation because the man who loves life must die. And Isabella the woman who “would wear these keen whips as rubies” would have have done anything but sex, tells her brother that living isnt worth it. ITS INTENSE. LIKE WOW.

It’s absolutely no surprise that Isabella and Angelo are my favourite characters in the play. This awful sexual coercion (the degree of violence is dependant on staging which is like holy shit WTF), lives side by side with the fact that they are the two only people whose language, diction, beats, and intelligence matches each other. They both have the same fervor for their moral divisions and hierarchies. The idea of strict testing of morals and faith is in the text. Isabella wishes for harsher, more challenging, and harrowing tests of faith. You can argue as to why, I personally think its for the strengthening of faith and connection to the divine. Meanwhile Angelo is the one setting restrictions for hundreds of thousands of vienna, setting those on other people to strengthen the connection to a higher moral fibre, and I think in some respects faith as well but thats my interpretation. 

Where others live their vices without restrictions, these two set limits for either themselves and/or others to be something more. They are in the way that motif of the “glass” The mirror. In that sense they reflect each other, but they also become each others foil. Which is why I do think a case can be made for the parallels with the psycho sexual and the SadoMasochist readings. Restraints for rewards, the repression on both their parts is there.

I’m not saying that negates the strong feminist reading or in anyway shape or form validates the absolute horror of the coerced sex/rape. I just say that they exist side by side with each other. They are equals in text/language/fervour AND YET they are not because he holds every power over her and her brother. He wants to restrict others where he cannot restrict himself, and Isabella restricts herself in part because she lives in a Vienna full of vice. She has a control over her own self that he proves not to have. And HE has a control over the world of the play that she cant. 

AND YET. SHE IS MARRIED TO THE DUKE. SHE MARRIES INTO PROMINENCE. I don’t love the idea that she does not become a nun, her original want, and is instead coopted by the shitty duke (i am not pro duke sorry). The only upside at the end of the play is that Isabella can, in some measure, have political sway over the masses. Meanwhile Angelos fall and forgiveness put him into a marriage where his vice of coercive sex becomes consummation of a sleeping marriage. IT FEELS LIKE they sort of mirror each other the whole way through the play. ITS WEIRD BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH SEXUAL AND POLITICAL INEQUALITY TO THEM. ITs a play full of contradictions which I LOVE BECAUSE IT IS NOT SIMPLE NOT BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT. I do think there is a case to be made that Isabella unwillingly comes face to face with sexuality, his and hers, and its not on terms she wants, but it happens. And you see her struggling to maintain the authority over her own autonomy. But then she has to contemplate sex for herself, “to give up her boy into saucy sweetness, licentiousness, the filthy vices”. What does ISabella do when she comes face to face with her own sexual needs, whatever she may be? We have productions in the Stratford archives from 50 years ago that make an ambiguous case that the meeting of morality and sex might actually do something for her? I DON’T KNOW. The readings keep coming. There is a possiblity for a strong Ace reading for her which no one really touches on. 

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

This play has my favourite sexual innuendo. When theyre like “WHAT DID CLAUDIO DO?”

“Her?”

“no! What did he do to get taken away by the provost”

“HIS GIRLFRIEND.” 

(god and isnt it nuts that the first man on the scaffold for unlawful fornication IS IN A CONSENSUAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, A BOND AND CRIME THAT THE LAW (ANGELO) HAVE DEEMED IMMORAL. YET THE LAW (ANGELO) WOULD HAVE IT PARDONNED BY A NON CONSENSUAL SEX FOR EXECUTION PARDON. THE MASK OF MORALITY OF ANGELO. JFC HES SO FUCKED, like hes AWFUL, because he ends up sending claudio to death after he thinks hes had sex with isabella. LIKE WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT ND YET STILL WEARS THE LAW AS HIS MASK AFTER THE ANGEL HAS FALLEN. ITS COMPLEX AND I LOVE IT)

God and just…the sex jokes, the black comedy of barnadine right next to the high shooting morals of angelo, isabella, and mariana (another complex af character. The 1976 version certainly makes a psychosexual explanation out of that, which im not sure i enjoy. Again the psychosexual has its limits in a play about sexual coercion and rape)

AND THE FACT THAT MERCY IS WHAT SETS YOU FREE, LIKE PROSPERO FORGIVING HIS ENEMIES, ISABELLA FORGIVING ANGELO IS A HERCULEAN FEAT, IT FEELS CLOSE TO GODLINESS IDK MAN. AND I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE TELLS HER BROTHER NO I WONT SLEEP WITH HIM FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE ITS RAPE, BUT THEN IS LIKE BE GLAD BEING ALIVE IS SHITTY ANYWAYS. Im like? ISABELLA? WHAT?! ISabella does not know about herself that she can be desired because GOD DOES IT TAKE HER A WHILE TO UNDERSTAND ANGELOS MEANING, and yet shes got such a force for words. I find it hard to think being married to the duke that she wont have some power. 

And the exchange of Angelo and Isabella in the second interview.

-His moral stance on unlawful fornication starts with abortive language, the harsh restrictions but DEVOLVES INTO THE SEXUAL WITH THE INTELLECTUAL DICTION, It becomes a mirror of himself until he is explicit of what he wants from her. (OH GOD TRULY HE GIVES ME NAUSEOUS AND YET THE ONE IN THE PLAY I SAW HE WAS ENTHRALLING I HATE THE RANGE OF THINGS ANGELO CAN MAKE ME FEEL). His mask of morality is slowly removed

-ISABELLA must argue on behalf of her brother, believing in restrictions of the kid angelo speaks of, they believe in restraining oneself to achieve a higher form of being, and yet has to straight up defend something she hates because she loves her brother. And ANGELO CAN SEE IT. I WISH THERE WAS AN AFTERMATH WHERE WE SEE HER USING HER INTELLECT AND WORDS FOR HER ENDS. 

I truly think the second interview scene is one of the best exchanges Billy Shakes wrote. Because it ENDS LIKE THAT. GOD the david tennant one is chilling, the oregon shakespeare festival one is fucked. The 1976 which is the most psychosexual was so intensely disturbing that the Angelo got applause for it. IDK What that means and im too scared to ask. Idk how the RSC managed because youtbe doesnt show me that. The Repurcussion theatre was the most varied array of contradictions for angelo instead of just corrupt judge. It literally is all the shakespeare villains that do the most heinous things that Im like THATS MY FAVE. Iago was just RACISM/Sociopath and fifteen year old me was like YES HIM. I mean Richard III is bad but hes fun. ANGELO AT THE BEST IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR AND YET IM STILL LIKE WOW HOW COMPLEX ALSO THE ACTOR WAS SO GOOD LOOKING AND PLAYING UP THE BDSM BOTTOM ANGLE I WAS GONE. 

And the Isabellas go from wilting lily, to some sort of quiet and reserved girl, and the one i saw was literally “she is tiny but fierce” like her voice was really forceful and i thought it was amazing. 

THIS PLAY IS FUCKED WHEN IT COMES TO THESE READINGS LIVING SIDE BY SIDE BUT BOY IS THIS INTERESTING. 

if you made it this far wow holy shit. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[yuhoht-t]

For the ask thing do 1 through 50 please because you're cool

OH my god. WHO ARE YOU because i Hate you now omg

but okay here we go:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

BI! i am bi bi bi :)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

right now? here in the year of our lord 2020? at 9:25 am?? march 11th? nothing, my brain is a little preoccupied atm with the absolute stupidity of the american college system 

3. Ever done any drugs?

i have not, sometimes i want to, but then simply do not

4. What piercings do you want?

i kinda want snake bites? or maybe a second ear piercing. but im not really sure

 5. How many people have you kissed?

uno 

and honestly? it kinda sucked?

6. Describe your dream home.

a cottage situated in a nice little cliff-side meadow, a beautiful forest to one side and the ocean to the other. I have a small little garden for herbs and easier to grow staples. Maybe a couple of chickens. There’s a whole room, maybe even a whole other structure, dedicated to just being my art studio. It almost definitely smells like oil paint and graphite. There also has to be a large bay window with a seat, two floor to ceiling bookcases on either side. 

There’s a lot more I could say, but basically look up cottagecore/goblincore/dark academia and that’s basically it

7. Who are you jealous of?

anyone who gets to go to art school

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

usually it’s a mix between parks n rec and the office

9. Do you watch porn?

i am an adult

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

oohohohohahahahaaaaaa, yes. many actually

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

question. am i immune to any diseases in the region? if yes. can i just take the teleporter and go wherever? there are too many places i want to go

but really i suppose, Ireland? I mean it is March

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

that someone likes me

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

no i don’t think so. it just kinda sounds a little uncomfortable. but it is pretty hot i won’t lie

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

art school. i mean i’d have to see if i get in first! but then after that i’d give the rest to my mom. i owe her and if i ever get the chance i will be paying her back.

15. Are you in a relationship?

bitch? who do you think i am? what do you think i look like? of course fucking not. 

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

[this image violates tumblrs guidelines]

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

yes. is it petty? also yes. but it’s affecting my sleep and how comfortable i am in my environment so i think actually kind of justified. 

18. What tattoos do you want?

i want a design with poppies and lavender and maybe my mountain, and i’d like to have it, well, let me see if i can find a picture 

like this

but it’s kind of a pipe dream since tattoos are expensive and hurt lol

or this:

AHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAA 

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

so, heres the thing, i don’t technically mind my name. it’s a good name. it’s gender neutral both in long form and my preferred nickname. BUT. it is very common and i certainly don’t actually love it all that much. However, i have no fucking clue what i’d change it to.  

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

internet culture. i don’t usually talk about it, but i absolutely love culture and specifically the cultures that have been cultivated from the internet. it’s so cool!

21. Describe your best friend.

okay, so, she’s amazing. extremely talented and smart. and honestly has the coolest style of anyone i’ve ever met. the biggest gemini bitch you’ve ever met and i love her for it. she knows so much about horror and movies and is just really informed about so many interesting things. And she’s not afraid to get into politics and religion and all that “taboo” stuff. she’s actually taught me so many things! she’s great n i don’t get to gush often about the people i genuinely like in this world so yeah. also, she HOT AS SHIT N EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS DUMB IF THEY DON AGREEEEEE

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

ahahhhahahhahahahhaaaaa no. 

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

- Ghost

- Gorillaz 

- Phoebe Bridgers

- Orville Peck

- FIDLAR

(okay, so I was doing this and really there are too many, this is not a great list but I think it covers the range of taste???)

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan, Italy (for the art), and ummm, probably Iceland (for the continental divide)

 25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

this gonna sound so sad but, literally, all of my roommates leave and i get to spend it in solitude doing whatever the fuck i want without having to worry about being watched (that’s what we call paranoia kids!)

26. What’s your favorite season?

it depends. but right now i’m jonesin’ for some good ol’ fashioned summer thunderstorms. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

me bitch, next question

nah i’m kidding, maybe my little brother? or maybe my friend Shareeza? there is somethin about that girl that just makes me die every time she talks

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

maybe because it’s been a long time, but like, Frozen? idk. it’s what my intuition is telling me so ima go with that.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

you know i’m not really sure at this moment, but straight up, this is now an open call for anyone who wants to message me, shy or not, i promise i’ll answer lol ^-^

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

paper, obviously. who do you think i am?

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

maybe Spiderwick Chronicles? I love the idea of being able to actually see the fey. or really any world where there’s a hint of me possibly being able to actually have magic or a magical experience. 

 33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

ALL

34. What’s your coffee order?

carmel mocha, if i’m paying for coffee i want it to taste like pure caffeinated sugar

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

maybe? i have a hard time deciphering those types of feelings 

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

don’t got none. for past crushes tho? i’m not really sure. 

37. Have any tattoos?

no 

38. Do you drink?

no

39. Are you a virgin?

i don’t have to answer this, do i? 

(that basically is an answer)

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

again, hard time with understanding romantic feelings. 

41. How many followers do you have?

642

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

i feel a liiitlel uncomfortable with this question. and on those grounds i don’t think i’m gonna answer it. 

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

not killing myself :)

44. Do you read erotica?

no

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

too fresh bro, mmmm can’t open up those wounds quite yet

46. How many people do you follow?

293

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

maybe Jameela Jamil? she’s just so pretty and smart

or maybe David Tennant cause like. i’ve had a crush on him since my doctor who days so really, why not

48. Describe your ideal partner.

willing to go to battle for and with me. and against me. 

also it’s important that they’re understanding of me and my struggles, as well as accepting my points of view as my truth and not belittle me for having them. And be willing to give there all in these aspects because I will give my all in these ways for them. That’s just how i work. 

49. Who do you text the most?

oh idk, maybe my mom? 

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

clouds. and wind. i like to feel like i’m gonna blow away

okay, jeezus, this was a lot. I hope one of you fuckers actually reads this

[whatshehassaid]

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Not necessarily. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have to go through certain things, but I don’t mind being me.

2: What is your full name?

Sara Margaret... I’m not telling you my last name, hahaha.. Sara from a Jefferson Starship song and Margaret was my grandmother’s name.

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

26 (27 next month)... I get mistaken for much younger a LOT. If I’m not wearing makeup I sometimes even get people thinking I’m in my late teens - it’s insane, but I think it’s a good thing in the long run.

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes. Various ranges of brunette cause my natural hair color is almost black-brown.

5: What’s your eye color?

Brown, though I sometimes wish I had hazel eyes.

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

At the moment I really hate my body, I’m not gonna lie. I’m super self conscious about my stomach (I had serious surgery and it messed up my stomach)..

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

Tattoos: no, Piercings: my ears

8: What would you say is your best quality?

I’m loyal. 

9: What are you really bad at?

Um... keeping up a conversation in person. I can be super shy.

10: What talent do you wish you had?

Singing would be cool.

11: Are you nice to everyone?

Pretty much, yes. Unless you’ve done something super awful.

12: What do you think about the most?

Love. I’m a sap - and art, I love art.

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

I like my fashion sense, I guess. Dislike? My anxiety and trust issues.

14: What is your least favorite word?

I don’t really.... have a least favorite word?

15: What is your favorite word?

Again, don’t really have one.

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

My mum.

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I always do.

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

Either been embarrassed or was trying to protect someone.

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

No.

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

Yep.

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not necessarily, no. Looks ≠ Love to me.

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

Yes!

23: Are looks important?

Again, no. Not a big factor to me.

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

I think it’s fine in certain circumstances. I personally always dated/liked guys who were older than me, so..

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?

That depends on the person. 

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

Yep.

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

So many times.

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

Nope.

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Big YES.

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

In a romantic way? No.

31: How does someone win your heart?

By being honest and being themselves. Not being scared to be vulnerable.

32: What turns you on?

Vulnerability, honesty......... some other nsfw things I’m not gonna name.

33: What turns you off?

Narcissism, being mean to people, rudeness - stuff like that.. 

34: Do you get jealous easily?

I do, but I try my hardest not to.

35: What is your definition of cheating?

If you’re thinking of someone other than your s/o romantically constantly... and also of course if you fuck someone else that’s uh... not cool.

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

Not usually, no. I have too many trust issues for that.

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

Yep.

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never.

39: How often do you listen to music?

Every day. I love music.

40: First concert you attended

I’ve actually never been to one, though I wish I could.

41: Last movie you watched

The Man Who Laughs

42: Favorite type of movie

Horror movies. I’m a horror movie fiend

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes. For good reason.

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes. But with certain people I’m VERY bad at hiding feelings.

45: Do you fall in love easily?

Unless it’s the absolutely right person, no.

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?

Nope.

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

Halloween.

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

I am, unless it’s something really bad.

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

Outer space..... 2nd place disney world

50: What’s your “type”?

Someone who’s sweet and empathetic. And also dirty af.