#the loneliness he must feel in episode 22 break me

[kaizokunoyume]

Between the snow, your body or my heart, I wonder which one is the coldest now...

[blaster-aichi]

Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 22 things

forgot to post this, heck

Aw, cute shopping trip because they feel things are drawing to an end, barrier or no —  [gets distracted by the little girl who looks just like Shingo]

Given the topic of conversation, felt Emi’s downcast expression was a hint of bittersweet realization that her time with Shuka is running down, then get smacked with even ruder sads.

There’s something massive ironic about Majesty Lord being pulled to the antagonistic side of battle after his role in the original Season 1 and embodying unification between Royal and Shadow Paladins when things get dire, now faced against the both of them.

Ren taught Shuka ‘Bukki’, bless.

Very appreciative of the explanation why Majesty Lord was so importaant to Shuka to Realize, though curious as to why he wouldn’t manifest in the first place.

MISAKI SIGHTED. Please don’t relegate her to post-Legion Mate Quatre Knights of voiceless cameos.

Side-eyes Emi for picking cards purely because of their cuteness, your friend’s calling you out.

With the truth of what led Aichi to ruling Sanctuary, Emi’s moment of finding no alternative but for the blame to fall on him is very relatable; at least some of us have been grasping at any explanation because we couldn’t imagine Aichi doing this of his own will, it’s incongruous with his character, and Emi may have been doing the same, but with options whittling down, she’s been forced to face that scenario that this has been all by his design and it upsets those of us who have been trying to figure out any other scenario, but to her, naturally it’s world-shattering.

How dare you fuckers use the same sads track from episode 7 where she was talking about the Aichi she knew.

He looks so worn down and I’m so upset.    — Even his tone when speaking reflects his exhaustion and reluctance to deal with shit. Please let me hug him.

Is this the first time he’s said ‘Toshiki’? Feels like this is the first time he’s said ‘Toshiki’.

Even when they don’t meet, fate crams them into one another’s heads. That’s gay. (But doesn’t go the Legion Mate route and make it a clean injection, both of them have become tremendously distressed and pained and I scream).

Takuto, you can’t just say that in front of him?!

Emi actually draping Aichi’s jacket over her shoulders is so cute, she really is giving it a piggyback ride. After he mentioning it aloud how he left it behind, half-expect returning it to be one of her first gestures once he’s brought out of his antagonist role.

Takuto’s referencing Outside World Aichi brings back thoughts of the previous theory that IF Aichi had been doing all this in an effort to reach outside IF, why do you hurt me in these ways after that backstory, Bushi? At the same time, Takuto needs shaking if he had any inclination that IF Aichi would have the mental fortitude to cope with that possibility existing elsewhere after a lifetime of loneliness.

The poor boy hid in the shadows and hunted for Kai-kun just to verify Takuto’s theory and torment himself more, sweetie no... Considering his methods for keeping his very existence from the potential of breaking the IF illusion, it’s consistent, but sweetie no...

Takuto onto Aichi’s bullshit. The post before this clarifies, but his solemn delivery and feeling responsible for accidentally instigating everything, would like to hope he’ll be able to make a move in helping to rectify Aichi’s state.

Two things: You’re saying he had nothing to pass on through Miwa? And why did he never contact Suiko or Rekka before? Because there was no certainty they were inside IF? Isn’t it apparent they would follow once he and Kourin never returned? Did he even try?

Sad Rena howling noises in the background.

If Aichi is banking on her saving him, never let him know there was a moment where it all got too much and Emi gave up on him.    — She’s doing the Misaki episode thing again.    — Though it’s understandable the guilt she must feel; they might be correcting the timeline, but she’s conveyed her feelings before that each iteration of a person isn’t any less valid than another; though Kai-kun has come to terms with and accepted that there is another version of himself in a “proper” timeline, the same is essentially true for Aichi and Emi, who for all we know, could/will vanish along with him. It might not just be Emi sympathizing with others and not wanting to write them off as incorrect versions, but trying to validate her own and her brother’s existences as well.

Suiko and Shuka are onto the price the group are going to pay regardless; the preview isn’t subtle about it. Whether it’s Shuka having to move onto another place where more cards are waiting for her to rescue them or something more final awaits her, it’s difficult to tell. Though the former is simply a part of her journey and might not evoke the sorrow from someone like Suiko, it might be a sore spot for her, particularly with everything she, Kourin and Rekka lost, faced with having to watch the same happen to someone else. But Emi herself seems already be aware of this, she’s a smart girl.

IF 23

Squad goals. Squad goals.

Aichi looks ready to straight up murder and have to wonder who taught you how to pull those faces, boy?

If you’re going to be fighting in the area, please keep the babies safe from harm. Who knows what they might see?

What space-time commotion did you guys cause to alert all the other major characters across the city?.

On the one hand, more Majesty Lord Aichi aaaaaaa. On the other hand, that episode title, screams. (Now are you guys directing that to Aichi, Kai-kun or Shuka? Sus)

This take on the “They Never Met” story:

It’s taken a while for the fact IF is taking the route it is with the story to sink in; a lot of thoughts and feelings are still incredibly jumbled, but here goes An Effort.

As someone who's childhood has a lot of overlap with Aichi’s, it’s incredibly painful to actually see him endure it without the beacon of hope that gave him solace and the toll it’s taken on him to endure it. Having a loving family and a sibling could alleviate the pain, there are fond memories with things with my family that don’t make my childhood an unending nightmare, and it’s apparent that he and Emi were particularly close; though understand that by 16, he’s exhausted by it all, pretty sure I was.

I want to believe that he was able to find at least one other hobby to keep his life from being completely devoid of happiness; reading, writing, art, a love of animal, photography, meeting people on the internet, there has to be something. There are plenty of outlets that could have channelled his imagination to keep it from building with no freedom. The lack of clarification about what he spent his time doing does nothing to help this belief or deter the fears that  he really never tried to find anything, and really hoping that’s able to change before the season is through.

But something about Aichi’s reasoning really doesn’t line up. He claims to be doing this so that he be the only one who has to suffer. And really struggle to fathom how he could think so when Emi and Shizuka, would and are suffering with him. Emi’s own pain has been right in his face and he’s turned away, he can’t be that narrow-minded to think she isn’t in anguish or that forgetting him would magically erase that of her or Shizuka.

My understanding (or interpretation, headcanon, what have you) of Aichi has always been that his unrelenting kindness stems from knowing well the absolute agony of complete loneliness and hopelessness, so he acts to help alleviate or prevent the same feeling upon others. Vanguard shouldn’t have any bearing on that trait staying with him or not; that’s something within Aichi, not created by one facet of his life that appeared one day, particularly when he’s even more familiar with such a rock bottom, even if the exhaustion of it weighs on him; he’s always put on a smile and done his best for someone else’s sake, no matter the cost to himself — and that is what he’s doing, but it’s incredibly difficult to believe he can only manage that demonstration of kindness towards others when he’s connected to or aware of Vanguard.

I can understand Aichi being worn down, I can understand him being a bit hostile and reluctant. But to lack his good heart and throw everything away, to put his family through the nightmare he has been, I can’t understand that, it just isn’t him. He isn’t that dependent on Vanguard to be a good kid.

With how vital the event and relationship are to both Aichi and Kai-kun, to explore the possibility that they would never meet is fascinating, but this feels like a lukewarm attempt at it, at least in regards to what this episode covered and that in itself is saddening, it feels like an incredible premise with wasted potential, just like Legion Mate. It saddens me immensely that this is how they tell that story, more so when it’s the last one we might ever have from this cast.

Late-Bloomer PsyAichi:

The only possibility, and this is very much a last-ditch at this point, draws on ideas from Override (is there an IF plan in the works? laughs with shovel maybe since the day before epi 1 aired), so chances are these might be as swiftly debunked as other ideas.

With the rapid influx of memories breaking through the IF illusion, Aichi’s imagination’s shackles were released, according to Takuto. The result was Psyqualia overloading Aichi, its poisonous nature of the original continuity repeating itself as a result of festering inside of him for years without usage.

By retaining this nature, it amplifies Aichi’s fixation on Kai-kun, maybe through an amalgamation of other PsyAichi remnants in line with the original continuity who became overwhelmed by that obsession blinding him to the pain that other characters have experienced through their connections with Vanguard or the suffering he’s putting his own family through to see IF secured.

His mind struggles to contend with the sudden explosion of power and his sanity withers when viewing possibilities that he was never granted, reinforced by Takuto’s claim that Kai-kun’s life is better as it is, of Aichi’s strength in those other worlds, of longing to reach his alternative selves and feel his existence holds any value. He doesn’t truly have control over himself as a result of this madness, which is why he refers to Kourin by just her name.

How Sanctuary itself formed, there’s just nothing that comes to mind. Unless IF has special properties that just haven’t been explained that allow for more supernatural events to occur — like Sanctuary’s appearance, the battlegrounds that don’t inflict real world damage on their sites — can’t really wrap head around how Aichi was able to create it.

The original distortion’s root:

Something else that still doesn’t make sense is Shuka being led to Blaster Blade as a withering existence. And as Aichi himself never played a part in that, the past couple of weeks had had me suspicious of Nome, and other fans have been pointing fingers his way as of late. His disappearance in episode 1 hasn’t been addressed, and it’s odd for him to so briefly show up only to seemingly play no part.

It’s just a possibility, but he, whether tainted by something Brandt or sibling jealousy, tampered with the Akashic Records to lure Shuka in and cause the accident that prevented Kai-kun and Aichi from meeting, shaping IF Aichi’s life to keep him from deviating from a path that Nome had set for him, using someone else’s brother (and someone known to be a powerful force is let loose) as a weapon.

If Brandt has a part in any of this, perhaps he infected Aichi with it, to allow it/his Psyqualia/imagination to overload him when exposed to the truth beyond IF.

This is all just grasping at straws at this point because really struggle to see Aichi doing this of his own accord and I believe him to be better than this, I want to believe the writers do too.

[jennycalendar]

(via https://open.spotify.com/playlist/42wZ51TgoyxD4xv0xPblT7?si=fOBdq5sJRjSWyGEcyvogXQ)

@angelinthefire and a very nice anon asked about my calendiles playlist, so here it is! i put some feels-specific lyrics under the cut because every song on this playlist has a very different giles/jenny vibe (except for the bay city rollers cover of i only want to be with you, which i really only put on because i take one line from one episode as rupert giles gospel).

i posted a version of this about two years ago, but. it’s been a while since then. now: thirty songs, nearly two hours, AND over the last five-ish years, i have organized this thing so that the mood loosely follows the canon trajectory of giles and jenny’s relationship!

(PLEASE talk to me about this playlist you will make my DAY. or give me song recs! that is welcome as well!)

1. friday i’m in love (the cure)

i don’t care if monday’s blue / tuesday’s grey and wednesday too / thursday i don’t care about you / it’s friday i’m in love

2. there she goes (the la’s)

there she goes / there she goes again / and i just can’t contain / this feeling that remains

3. she’s so high (tal bachman)

first class and fancy-free / she’s high society / she’s got the best of everything / what could a guy like me ever really offer?

4. would you be so kind (dodie)

oh, would you be so kind / as to fall in love with me? you see i’m trying / i know you know that i like you / but that’s not enough, so if you will / please fall in love

5. stop desire (tegan and sara)

i can’t deny, i’m begging for attention / dropping hints, hoping for some tension / getting tired of making all this racket / waiting on you to get your ass in gear

6. i won’t say i’m in love (hercules)

who’d you think you’re kidding? / he’s the earth and heaven to you / try to keep it hidden / honey, we can see right through you

7. accidentally in love (counting crows)

how much longer will it take to cure this? / just to cure it ‘cause i can’t ignore it if it’s love

8. i only want to be with you (bay city rollers)

‘cause you’ve started somethin’, can’t you see / that ever since we met, you’ve had a hold on me?

9. must have done something right (relient k)

we should get jerseys / ‘cause we make a good team / but yours would look better than mine / ‘cause you’re out of my league

10. give your heart a break (demi lovato)

the day i first met you / you told me you never fall in love / but now that i get you / i know fear is what it really was

11. jackie and wilson (hozier)

she blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild / laughing away through my feeble disguise / no other version of me i’d rather be tonight / and lord, she found me just in time

12. collide (howie day)

i’m open, you’re closed / where i’ll follow, you’ll go / i worry i won’t see your face / light up again

13. louisa (lord huron)

do you know what loneliness does to a man? / turn him into the walking dead / i may have died, but your lovin’ raised me

14. manchester (kishi bashi)

oh hello / will you be mine? / i haven’t felt this alive in a long time

15. love don’t come easy (the moody blues)

but then again / i don’t think i’ve ever looked / had the time to spare / the will to share with you

16. between my teeth (orla gartland)

you need me, i don’t need you / just admit it / admit it / oh, i’m too broken to fix you too / i admit it / i admit it

17. i couldn’t be your friend (tegan and sara)

now you wanna say i was a liar / led you astray, i won’t deny it / i did what they thought would be good for me

18. supercut (lorde)

and in my head / the visions never stop / these ribbons wrap me up / but when i reach for you / there’s just a supercut

19. fuel on the fire (bear’s den)

there’s a demon in the server / and histories we cannot erase / you’re so close and so far away / you’re so close now

20. s.o.s (abba)

where are those happy days / they seem so hard to find / i try to reach for you / but you have closed your mind

21. the story of us (taylor swift)

oh, a simple complication / miscommunications lead to fallout / so many things that i wish you knew / so many walls up, i can’t break through

22. she lit a fire (lord huron)

i have been trying to find her, wanna give all i’ve got / she lit a fire and now she’s in my every thought

23. agape (bear’s den)

so tell me how long, love, before you go / and leave me here on my own / i know it / i don’t wanna know who i am without you

24. i’ll be waiting (adele)

please forgive me for my sins / yes, i swam dirty waters, but you pushed me in

25. breakfast at tiffany’s (deep blue something)

i see you, the only one who knew me / but now your eyes see through me / i guess i was wrong

26. all this and heaven too (florence + the machine)

but for all my education, i can’t seem to command it / and words are all escaping and coming back all damaged / and i would put them back in poetry if i only knew how / i can’t seem to understand it

27. fidelity (regina spektor)

i never loved nobody fully / always one foot on the ground / and by protecting my heart truly / i got lost in the sounds

28. the night we met (lord huron)

i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

29. vanilla twilight (owl city)

i’ll watch the night turn light blue / but it’s not the same without you / because it takes two to whisper quietly

29. world spins madly on (the weepies)

and everything that i said i’d do / like make the world brand new / and take the time for you / i just got lost / and slept right through the dawn / and the world spins madly on

30. i will follow you into the dark (death cab for cutie)

no blinding light / or tunnels to gates of white / just our hands clasped so tight / waiting for the hint of a spark

[dentelle-grise]

Your latest trick

(Loki x Reader NSFW) Long after everyone has stopped talking about Loki and his misdemeanors, his failed attempt to take over Midgard and his punishment, you meet him at a party.

All chapters to date at AO3 (55K, NC-17)

Tagging my rebloggers, commenters and other folk who asked. Please let me know if you want in (or out) of the list: @joanbushur, @frenchfrostpudding, @lovely-geek, @wolfsmom1, @sigridlaufeyson, @lokislonelylady, @monitoroutside, @daniissuchadani, @devilbat, @deadlydreamersecrets @helenisabel, @stardustandangelsfanfiction, @ely-seum, @wendyrobson1978, @the-ships-i-ship, @shemart101, @dreamourbrainout, @sadghostomg, @lokilover2000, @blobfishington, @lynneth1968-blog, @deaddecade, @nardo94

Chapter 22 : Desperate to make amends to Loki, reader chases him through the  palace in the depths of night, but just as she thinks she’s caught up to him she finds someone else entirely.

It’s not Loki - the whole stature is wrong, Whoever this is though, you just called out Loki’s name to them.

The figure doesn’t react, just continues to advance. You want to suck back the name, deny it, but it’s too late. You stay where you are. You’ve got to see who it is you just so foolishly told.

The figure has the form of a man, but seems somehow misshapen, as though great crags grow from his shoulders, it just looks wrong for a person. That’s why it’s even more of a shock when he gets close enough to recognize.

Odin! Lined face heavy with exhaustion, hair an unruly mess, barefoot and wearing a long gold-threaded sleeping gown.

Despite the king’s strange appearance, relief washes over you. He’s the one other person who must already know about Loki. The secret is safe. He doesn’t, however, know that you know, or at least he didn’t until now. You fall to your knees and bow, dread slowly filling you from the cold floor beneath.

You get your respectful greeting ready as he approaches laboriously,

“Your majesty….” He makes no acknowledgement. He doesn’t even stop. It’s like he hasn’t seen you. He’s moving so incredibly slowly though that you easily have time to get out of the way before he trips over you. As he goes past you see what is so strange about his shoulders. There’s a raven perched on each one.

“Hugin and Munin, they’re back!”

He still doesn’t react, doesn’t falter or look at you. Later you couldn’t even say if his eye was open.

There’s no sound in the corridor but for your hammering heart and Odin’s shuffling steps. Did he not see you, or pretend not to? Did you just get away with it?

Where is Loki?

The only movement is the shimmer of Odin’s nightgown as the moonlight catches the golden parts.

You return to your room. It’s the quietest part of the of night and but there’s no sleep to be found. Will Loki return? Against the unfamiliar feeling of being alone it all crowds in on you, the argument, the secret, the lies you’ve told to all around you, and what could possibly be waiting for you tomorrow. Telling Nara was one thing, but Odin, you know well what he’s capable of.

The day breaks and there’s no royal summons, no questioning, nothing.

You go about your business as normally as you can. Except it’s not normal. It’s eerily quiet. Perhaps Odin really was sleepwalking. You know better than to relax, but later you hear that the King isn’t even in Asgard, but making a diplomatic visit to Svartalfheim. Methodically you go through your day, not thinking about any of it but fearful of any of the royal guard that you see.

Loki doesn’t come back that night, leaving you with a mix of worry and guilty relief What is he doing? Is he in Svartalfheim with Odin? Loki on an official visit? Surely not…unless. Perhaps they know the truth on Svartalfheim. Perhaps some hail him like a hero even? Like his beautiful elf… No you don’t want to go there

But then why play dead before his own people. His own brother!

Thor!

If ever Asgard needed him its now. But what could he do? You can imagine the ensuing conflict with his father should Thor try to tell Odin to leave the Aether alone.

And if Thor was here, would you tell him the truth? It’s starting to feel like you’ve got to tell someone. But every time it crosses your mind you see Loki’s anger at you, his hurt. You cannot.

After the whirlwind that has been, this lull is a shock to the system. Despite the pang of loneliness, you can never be sure you are alone. If Loki’s not on a mission then is he watching you? You’re back to imagining him around every corner and waiting for you each time you go home.

It feels too quiet. Like a calm before a storm. There’s no more crazy experiments, no more obscure injuries. The girls slip the odd question about your mystery man, your mother too, but you manage to deflect them. How long can you keep them at bay? In a world where Loki was neither felon nor hero you suppose you and he being together would have been applauded, even considered normal.

Nothing about Loki or this situation is normal. But nothing will stop you wanting him back.

The first night alone you told yourself its was a chance to think clearly. By the third you are downright worried, above all because Odin is back but there’s still no sign of Loki. Is he angry with you? Doubtlessly. But if he wanted you to chase him in the corridors, why disappear. He wanted to be caught and comforted. Right? Or did you misread him?

What if he never returns, must you keep the secret forever?

On the steps up to the palace you can see your father and it fills you with joy. With him, everything is simple. He won’t ask you, won’t badger you about your ‘budding relationship’ and if there was anyone you could safely confide in you know it would be him. If there is someone who finally you could tell… The sky seems to brighten at that very second. He sees you and though he’s too far off to see his expression you are sure he’s smiling. You start running.

But, as you get nearer you see he is not alone. He’s with Odin who was leaning over some papers on a folding table beside them. Its a pile of plans of some sort, but now both men are focused on you. You don’t falter in your course and draw to halt before them. The king looks hale and hearty and not in the slightest like the crumpled specter of the other night. There’s no knowing look either when he meets your gaze. It’s as though you dreamt the whole episode of the other night. You hope your inquietude isn’t visible. Before you can as much as greet them, Odin speaks.

“Ah, just what we need. A deciding opinion.”

Your eyes fall on the plans. They are all pictures of Frigga.

“This is where her statue will stand, the question is, in which direction should she face, toward the morning or the evening sun.”

You feel sure Papa has already made a suggestion but you can’t guess at what and Odin probably wants the opposite. You only hope, whatever you say will meet with approuval. Compared with the type of questioning you expected it’s a picnic. You simply need to answer the most honestly you can and from your heart. You look at the position, the light in the sky, the pictures. Then it comes to you.

“Both. You say with some satisfaction.” And you watch as a smile breaks over your father’s face.

“She should face the city and the people so her features might be caught by both the morning and evening sun in turn.”

“A wise choice” says Odin, actively appearing to contemplate it. “From a clever girl.”

“Thank you your majesty.”

“We should play again at Midgardian War.” It’s not a question and the easy escape you’d expected shrinks to a pinprick.“Tonight.” Odin eye fixes on you. It’s the look you’d been dreading. Like he knows something, everything even. You are used to people looking at you, with envy or desire or even amusement, but he’s unreadable. This invitation is not as harmless as it might appear. You hope against hope you won’t be left alone with him.

“And then I will play the winner.” Papa puts in, with a chuckle and you release the breath you’d been holding. He will be there. If the worst comes to the worst, and you have to confess then you will have ally. Papa will make it alright.

You don’t have long to think about it because the rendezvous is only a few hours away. You wish you could get your father alone before then, somehow warn him about what might transpire, but he’s suddenly surrounded by suppliers and clerks here to set up the work site. If only you had gone to him sooner.

“Svartalfheim was once beautiful. Well…perhaps not to our eyes, but it has been burnt by the light itself.”

You’re seated in a cosy salon in the royal quarters under the warm light of lamps and a fire.

“But what if there were trees, Sire.”You think of the absolute blackness you can find in the depths of a forest. That lingering memory of losing yourself there in a blackness so thick… ”Wouldn’t they stop the light?” He looks at you as though this was the naive imaginings of a child, endearing but misguided. Then he stops.

“A charming idea, but first we would need to stop the ground itself from shifting. It moves constantly, the surface is little but a desert.

“And the elves…” you father puts in “It would be prudent to consider if they’d consider such help as ’meddling’”.

“We will, nonetheless be establishing a settlement there.”

He has made no mention of your encounter in the corridor, and you conclude, finally, that he did not notice you. You would be relieved, but the vast difference between that Odin and this one puts you on edge. There’s something forced about his smile. You ignore it and so, you think, does Papa. Judging by the state you saw Odin in that night, he perhaps risks to fall again into the sleep, but is fighting it every step of the way. If that happened how would Asgard cope. Would Loki come out of hiding? Would Thor return?

“What news of Thor?” you ask, conscious you have been quiet too long.

Now, you know very well that they’d had their differences, all Asgard knew. But you just wanted to know, if someone could help the situation…

“On Midgard, with Jane.” Her name, Odin uses her name, not ‘that mortal woman’, hissed with distaste. No he said ‘Jane’, her little name, like Thor would. Just that is enough to tell you that he has accepted the alien woman. But then he looks grave and adds. “Tis a shame she won’t live.”

Odin stares into the fire and though in that moment you see the warmth in the light falling on his weathered features, it reveals see a great sorrow.

“But who of us can boast eternity?” he concludes.

Although the words are wise they are stark and the anguish in his face easily readable. You know he is thinking of Frigga, perhaps of himself or even…

It’s at that moment a doubt starts to tug at you. Does Odin really know Loki is alive? What if Loki never told him? What if you are the only one. Loki never mentioned being on ’a mission for Asgard’ not ‘ a mission for Odin’ but you always thought his father knew. If not, is Loki still a fugitive. Odin imprisoned Loki, it makes sense that Loki wouldn’t trust him. Hence the secrecy. But if Odin doesn’t know Loki survived, then does he know Malekith survived.

You try to calm your panic, Odin must know, why else would he be preparing new weapons with such zeal. He knows. He must know. But why not then tell Thor? You school your features before your confusion can show. Fortunately Odin is momentarily distracted by the arrival of the chess board.

As he thanks the attendants, you watch the lines and furrows of his face, shadowed into mountains and valleys in the firelight. You can look on him for a few moments without the feeling that he’s scrutinizing you, either with his remaining eye or the missing one, but you’re aware of Papa watching you as you do so.

The chess game is a disaster, an unmitigated one. The only good thing you can say about it is that it’s over quickly. Though your hand is steady, you are shaking inside and you stumble through the opening moves like a beginner leaving your king open to attack and easy to trap. You try to compensate but you’ve lost concentration and your actions on the board are desperate and obvious. The best you can do is show nothing on your face. Papa’s questioning gaze on you a further source of stress. You wish you’d had time to talk to him. By keeping the secret you could be risking all Asgard, but by telling you would be betraying Loki.

Odin held diplomacy meeting with the elves didn’t he? Things must be alright.

You can act like normal but you can’t play like normal and the mere thought that you’re pretending spirals you further. You feel sympathy for Odin, and not. The imprisoned Loki! No wonder if Loki won’t trust him.

So did Odin meet the elves who are against Malekith, like Loki’s elf? Odin must know about Loki. So why the secrecy?

But what id he doesn’t, what if he was duped by Malkith’s allies? And where was Loki?

Where is Loki?

Checkmate.

As promised your father takes your place, you try to follow his elegant moves as it’s clearly now your family who has the upper hand. But the real game is so much bigger. Why did Odin wish to play you at all? If Papa wasn’t here would he call you on the events of the other night. Papa is victorious and so both he and Odin can celebrate a win. If you have anything to celebrate it’s that Odin has said nothing about Loki. But the relief is not enough, you still carry the secret. And for what? Loki is avoiding you.

The next day, you dine with your parents. Your mother seems happy despite the lack of progress in the armory. She’s unusually quiet and, except for a few complicit smiles, makes no allusions to you mystery suitor. You’re feeling a lot calmer about last night, it’s to be expected to be nervous in the presence of Odin after all.

“You know the king asked me to tell you he’d like another game.” Papa seems to be asking a question as he says it (Do you really want to little love? I can get you out of this) but your mother positively beams.

So Odin wants to see you again tonight. Well, it’s not like you’ve other engagements.

“But, I played terribly.”

“You must have impressed him the first time, No? That private game I didn’t see.” The question lingers in his voice.

“Well it’s good to see you with a serious pursuit.” says Mother brightly and the utter ridiculousness makes you clench your fists under the table.

“I believe the king is lonely.” Papa adds with a sigh.

It can’t be that. Odin will ask about Loki. He’s going to ask and you cannot lie to your King. Not when the safety of the realm is in the balance. If Odin pushes you, you would betray your lover and the thought sickens you.

Chapter 23

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... GLOW (S01E08) Maybe It's All the Disco Airdate: June 23, 2017 Ratings: @netflix Original/Privatized Ratings Score: 9.75/10 TVTime/FB/Twitter/Tumblr/Path: @SpotlightSaga **********SPOILERS BELOW********** I don't like to start reviews or articles at the end of an episode and backtrack... And if we did that here it would start everything on such a dark tone, which would make it extremely hard to recover. One of our biggest priorities is to match what we write in these articles to the emotion that is evoked from the screen. 'GLOW's 'Maybe It's All the Disco' literally bounces through a myriad of emotions, each one felt with an incredible intensity. We just got through the last episode literally fawning over the writing of Rachel Shukert, even nominating her work as a writer for our end of the year Spotlight Saga Awards that we'll be polling across TV Time and other social media outlets (obviously TV Timers' votes will weigh the heaviest 💯)... But here we are again, just one episode later, doing the exact same type of fawning over 'GLOW's 8th episodic entry, not only with Award Worthy writing by Nick Jones, who made our list last year with OITNB S4E07 'People Persons', but also powerhouse, natural director Sian Heder, who literally captures everything that Jones has written and is able to find the perfect way to funnel each emotional bullet-point from scene to scene... Leaving the audience feeling the exact way that Ruth must feel as the credits role. It's brilliant. It's 'GLOW' showing that it's only going to continue to get better & better... And for that, Nick Jones is the first writer to make back to back yearly SS nominations for Achievement in Writing and Sian Heder gets her first Achievement in Direction nom from us, directly after an episode of 'GLOW' that we didn't think could be topped. Tanya Sterling, don't think we've forgotten about you. You're editing here was a marvel. As far as 30-Minute 'dramadies' this year, 'GLOW' and FX's 'Baskets' are taking the cake. Each series has done phenomenal work capturing as much of these characters and their growth, both in life's often tricky timeline and existentially... As well as giving us solid story arcs to sink our teeth into, all in such a short period of time & low number of episodes. See, Big 4 Networks, you don't need 22-25 episodes to make such a monstrous impact! Netflix and FX are literally schooling those fools! The camaraderie of these women is really taking center stage. At first it was like a hodgepodge of diverse misfits, none of which complimented the other in any way. Now, here they are breaking Sheila the She-Wolf (Gayle Rankin) out of her shell by celebrating the birthday that Sheila never wanted to celebrate in the first place. All of this is spearheaded by Jenny aka Fortune Cookie (Ellen Wong), who nabs a huge chunk of the episode's spotlight by taking us through her family's past in Cambodia 🇰🇭, and showing us exactly why she's so desperate to hang on to any part of American Culture that she can, having been deprived of things like birthday parties herself. It all suddenly makes sense, and it was so heartwarming to see just how much Sheila has warmed up to Ruth (Alison Brie), even looking to her for a 'way out' and clutching to her for dear life at the beginning of their amazing scene in the roller rink. Sheila has been so 'stone-faced' and comically dry, that seeing the women ban together and make her feel important, putting a smile on her face, even getting her on roller skates and participating with everyone was one of my favorite scenes of the series so far. Rankin is very close to clinching a piece of my heart forever as Sheila in this series. Obviously, not all is peachy and smiles & skates. Rhonda (Kate Nash) and Sam (Marc Maron) are on the fritz. Sam is embarrassed that their relationship has gone public and in true Sam Sylvia fashion, he treats her like shit after a friendly conversation about Bond films... One that goes a little awry when 'A View to Kill' & the pigeon double take in 'Moonraker' come up. Sam even makes her wait outside so they don't walk in together, even tho all of them are already very much in the know that they are screwing. The cherry on top is when Sam then scolds her for coming in late. He plans on breaking up with her, and goes out venue shopping with Ruth when Bash (Chris Lowell) goes MIA, for reasons only Carmen (Britney Young) knows at the time... Leave it to Cherry Bang (Sydelle Noel) to pull it out of her, though. Should be interesting to see just how she uses this newfound information in the very near future. As Ruth tags along with Sam, while he venue shops with the likes of a space owner played by Brooke Hogan (yes, the infamous daughter of Hulk Hogan and star of the VH1 show that you probably don't remember), Rhonda is doing exactly what her character Brittanica would do... Think things through. This gives her the home court advantage and she breaks up with him upon his return to the hotel. Sam is left stunned & ironically vulnerable as she breaks it off while he's completely nude, dropping the bombshell that she DID actually like him. Upon hearing this news Sam attempts to salvage the relationship, but Rhonda is ahead of him... And she's right. Sam doesn't like Rhonda, not the way she deserves to be liked & loved, anyway. His sudden change of heart is brought on by the terrifying idea of infinite loneliness, so shouting out that he had 'period sex' with her, in an attempt to prove some sort of love or loyalty, simply won't cut it. The great part about seeing all this asshole-ish behavior from Sam through most of the episode? It doesn't last. Sam IS an asshole, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean he's a completely unlikable one. One of the biggest 'drama bombs' of the season is dropped when Ruth discovers she's pregnant after literally setting up a chemistry set in her bathroom just to find out, positive or negative. It's a gut-wrenching moment, an impossible one. We've seen Ruth slowly mend things with her former best friend and main event opponent, Debbie (Betty Gilpin)... As we have also seen Debbie patching things up with Mark (Rich Sommer), sort-of anyway, at least making something we could refer to as progress throughout this episode. Imagine destroying all of that and more by adding the extra slap in the face that not only has Ruth slept with Debbie's husband, she's also now carrying his baby. Just as Ruth accompanied Sam on his venue hunt, Sam accompanies Ruth on a mission so distressing & so polarizing among the human race that we can only look at Sam in a different light. Ruth is terrified, but very sure... She's having an abortion. Sam adds some much needed levity to the situation and improvises as Ruth's husband at the abortion clinic. In turn, Ruth faces her traumatic experience and swivels back & gives Sam a 'Zoya The Destroya' line as she heads to the procedural area... "In Soviet Union, abortion is the only thing there is no line for." Her fading smile, sad doe eyes, & nervous laughter provides one of the most poignant & affective scenes in the entire series. She heads back, lays down, assures the doctors, assures herself, and fades into the blue-skied nothingness painted onto a single tile of the clinic's grid, dropped ceiling.