#the mannerisms are just as spot on as the actions imo and you can dislike juliette as a person but she is ACTING HER ASS OFF AS NATALIE

[tabithatwo]

There’s so much criticism of juliette’s acting for adult natalie but to me she rings so beyond fucking true. Like I watch her and I feel SUCH strong love and connection and understanding of who she’s meant to be with every funny mannerism or weird walk or verbal outburst. Cause idk maybe you didn’t grow up with your mom dragging you to court-mandated AA/NA in hopes that the chairperson would let her leave early since her kid was a fidgety little adhd monster, but *I* did and let me tell you something.

I sought out the Natalies in group like I had fucking radar. They looked and dressed and acted like just like her. The Natalies would roll their eyes and slump in their chair dramatically when they saw you coming, especially if they’d seen you around before and knew the schtick. But they’d scoot over for you if they were on an old armchair big enough to share or glare at the man next to them until he vacated his plastic folding chair for you. They’d share their stale donut with you and teach you how to make a paper plane with the sticky wrapper. They’d let you try a sip of their coffee just to watch your face twist and laugh with you. They’d make sure you didn’t run into the street while everyone was outside smoking, even if their method was holding the back of your shirt like a leash. Sometimes they’d even bring you a book they found or a little plastic toy. And they hated your mother and they pretended like you annoyed them in the same moments that they showed you more kindness than any other adult and they always always always stopped coming without saying goodbye.

So when I see people say adult natalie is too over the top or ridiculous or unrealistic, I think maybe you haven’t been around a large enough sample size of lifelong addicts with severe trauma and a giant heart. Because there will always be Natalies among them.

[jackiestargazer]

Someone wrote me a very brave and personal review (anonymously) on Jackie Stargazer over on FFnet, and requested I respond on tumblr (I hope that person is following this one since I have two other public T7S tumblr blogs).

First, thank you so much for sharing your own story and trusting not only me but also Jackie Stargazer’s readers with it. I hope anyone who’s going through -- or has been through -- what you did finds comfort and courage in your experiences. ❤️

Jess from November Rain was written purposely to be milquetoast (i.e. a relative non-entity) to show how little sexual (and romantic?) passion she inspired in Hyde compared to Jackie. She’s a character whose main purpose is to be an obstacle to Jackie and Hyde’s ultimate reconciliation, and Hyde cheats on her repeatedly with Jackie. Jess’s character is used horribly in November Rain, and it’s another reason I don’t recommend that story.

Ro in Jackie Stargazer, with all her flaws and rather horrific methods of trying to reach Hyde and keep him in the present (and with her), isn’t just a prop. She and Hyde have a complicated and complex relationship, whose corrosive inner workings are being exposed. Theirs, however, is a true relationship, despite that his history with Jackie -- and now present with Jackie -- is inextricable from it (because it’s inextricable from Hyde).

Ro exists in the story, in part, to reveal how both partners can be oblivious to the abuse perpetrated by one partner in the relationship on the other. How people can harm the those they love out of deep fear, selfishness, and emotional narcissism while at other times can be genuinely generous, insightful, and loving.

Readers are understandably conflicted about Ro’s character. I wrote her with the hope that readers would feel that way, the same as Hyde does. Some vehemently disliked her at the beginning, warmed up to her -- even to the point of liking her quite a bit -- then felt betrayed as her treatment of Hyde grew disturbing and abusive. Some experienced the same denial of her behavior as Hyde. Some see her intentions as good but her execution of those intentions as awful.

Ro, like her or hate her, is meant to stir up readers’ thoughts and feelings. She has her own arcs in the story because she’s a fully-realized character. Her treatment of Hyde is unacceptable, and her emotional blind spots don’t excuse it. But what drives her? Most commenters so far, believe fear, insecurity, and jealousy about Jackie being in Hyde’s life now. One or two people have suggested punishment, as well. Some believe she’s only using Hyde to write lyrics for her. All are valid interpretations. .

This story is very much about how subtle highly damaging violations can be, how people second guess their feelings of being violated when other emotions and factors are involved, how abuse can be forgotten or mentally pushed aside for many reasons when it’s not happening. There’s more I could say about this subject, but I’d be spoiling.  

Hyde does feel a measure of emotional dependency on Ro, but that goes both ways. He also truly loves her. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Hyde and Ro’s relationship being triggering for you makes total sense. I wish for you as Hyde grows in awareness and strength that those triggers transform into a source of strength and healing.

I’m honored you trust my writing. 😊 Jackie and Hyde’s journey is one of mutual trauma and healing. Hyde one-hundred percent knows Jackie is the injured party in how he stranded her. Apologies go only so far. A lot of T7S stories have Hyde soliloquizing his remorse as a grand gesture (and often in an OOC manner, imo), and that’s enough for Jackie.in those stories. But that’s not realistic, neither for the characters nor in real life for the kind of choices Hyde (and other characters have) made or the trauma he and Jackie experienced.

Actions are supremely important in healing and building trust. Words, beyond apologies, can serve as healing actions, too.

Please continue to read this story at your pace. The healing for Jackie began in Chapter One, despite the story also revealing all she’s suffered and suffering. The healing for Hyde has begun, too. Slowly, but him recognizing the cracks (as readers have called them) in his relationship with Ro is significant. How did he come to recognize those cracks? What changed? I think the answer is obvious. If not, just remember the title of this story.

Thank you again for trusting me and others with your story -- and for trusting me with the story I wrote. I truly hope that Jackie and Hyde’s journey through their pain to healing and joy will light the path for other people who are suffering similarly and/or act as a source of empathy and understanding for readers the same way that Hyde’s lyrics have been for Jackie.

[minaminokyoko]

Captain Marvel: A Spoilertastic Review

Well, here we are. Our first female-led Marvel movie (unless you count Ant Man and the Wasp, which I kind of do because Scott was basically useless and Hope ran the whole movie like a boss, but too bad she ran the show on a dull, rushed movie). How does it measure up?

It's fine.

I'd coin Captain Marvel as good, not great. It's definitely a popcorn flick, in the same vein of Ant Man for sure in terms of where it fits in our giant pantheon of MCU movies. I'd rank it dead center, so slightly underneath Cap 1 and Thor 2, but above Doctor Strange. I think Ant Man is a good comparison for the tone and the enjoyment of this movie, although it does do more to characterize the main lead than Ant Man did for Scott Lang. To be fair, though, somehow they end up in the same spot for my personal rankings.

So let's dive in and see why.

Overall Grade: B-

Pros:

-Plenty of action. No shortage on that whatsoever.

-Lots of off-world adventures, for those fans who sometimes are annoyed that too many MCU movies are earth-based. We don't hit earth until about the halfway point and there are still some shenanigans then.

-The dynamic between Carol and Fury is a lot of fun. Larson and Jackson work off each other's energy very well and the banter feels fun and familiar without ever veering into any weird territory. Fury is just as effective as ever at her side, and it's before he becomes full on grumpy Dad Fury, so he's a lot less cold and it's fun to see.

-It was also delightful getting to see Coulson one more time, although it's a cameo, not a whole role as some of the trailers sort of imply.

-The female relationships are probably the strongest in the Marvel lineup, aside from Black Panther. Particularly Carol, her best friend Maria, and Maria's daughter. We don't see a ton of it, but it's just enough to put a huge grin on your face. It's very warm and endearing. I also like that Maria was not only a supportive best friend struggling to get over her loss, but she got to join the action as well, and it was badass. I really am happy with Marvel pushing forward to give black women more representation in the superhero genre. Too many folks think black women in film are only sassy best friends or baby mamas or Tyler Perry stereotypes. We love sci-fi/fantasy just as much as everyone else, and so I loved seeing two beautiful black actresses shining next to Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson. It lends the film a lot of heart.

-Brie Larson is relatively decent in the role. She has some moments better than others, but overall, she did a good job. It never felt like she couldn't handle the work of beating some ass, and she sold me far more than Gal Gadot did as Wonder Woman. Which, yes, I know, it's unfair and kind of tasteless to compare them, but I have to note it since I didn't care for the WW movie that this is what I was talking about with film presence. Gal Gadot, to me, looks like a supermodel wearing a Wonder Woman costume. To me, she never embodied the poise, agility, and strength that Diana has in the comics or in the animated series. I believed Gadot more during the softer parts of the WW movie, but she couldn't pull off the action because she just doesn't have the presence. Larson does, imo. She carries herself in a manner that makes me feel like she can kick your ass. She has a stance and a stature that allows me to feel her strength, and it's in line with other Marvel women like Widow, Okoye, or Scarlet Witch.

-My favorite part of the movie is hands down the "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt scene. Oh my God. I was internally squeeing and singing along with the lyrics while she kicked ass. I was so delighted to see them perfectly use that song that I already liked in high school anyway, and it just worked so well.

-I also liked the montages of Carol getting back up. That is a really, really important image for the girls growing up to see. It's not about how many times you fall. It's about how many times you still get back up. That's great. We fall and get dirty and scuffed and mocked and hated. But we still get up and try again every time. Love it. It's very empowering.

-The de-aging looked pretty good. Jackson is tougher since he's gained weight since the size he was back in the 90's but they filled in his wrinkles well enough. Coulson's looked better, although I did notice just it a tad bit during the stairwell scene, but overall, I thought it was well done.

-Gosh, her costume looks amazing. I want it. I want to wear it for Halloween. It's gorgeous.

-The sequence of the Skrulls acquiring her memories was very neat and uniquely done. Kudos.

-THE MOTHERFUCKING FIRST END CREDITS SCENE. Y'ALL. I SCREAMED. I SCREAMED AND CLAPPED MY HANDS SO HARD I HURT THEM. OH MY GOD. SHE'S ON EARTH. THE QUEEN IS ON EARTH AND WE SHALL ALL BE SAVED. SHE IS GOING TO TURN FUCKING THANOS INTO FUCKING PURPLE CLAM CHOWDER WITH HER BARE HANDS FOR KILLING FURY AWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Ahem. Sorry. I am really goddamn excited about that tiny piece of Avengers: Endgame because Marvel and the Russos have been so fucking stingy with details. We still don't know the plot. We only have that 30-second Superbowl spot and the Sad Stark trailer. I was livid they didn't give us a final trailer in front of this movie, but I guess with it a month and change away, they're just banking on us frothing at the mouth wanting more. Jerks. But anyway, yes, this fucking scene is mint and I wish I could rewind it.

-Nick naming the Avenger Initiative after her was a great cherry on top moment.

-I fucking lost it when Nick started singing “Mr. Postman.” Deadass, I just started listening to that song about a month ago thanks to that one famous Vine where those dudes sung it acapella. I was dying. You go, Nick. 

Cons:

-This movie overall has a bit of a bland taste to it. It's most revolving around Carol. The problem is that I think they were too chicken to dive deeply into who she is and her personality and her desires because they were afraid the feminists would complain that they made her too soft, so they replaced it all with action. Which is fine, some people just want a girl kicking ass, but I think it did Carol and Larson a disservice by rushing everything and doing drive-by characterization. The dialogue doesn't stick as well due to the bland flavoring, for example. If you ask me who Carol Danvers is, I can't really tell you. I can tell you what she does, but not who she is. I regret that probably the most out of everything. This movie is a bit of a vehicle than a movie where we discover who she is. We discover what she is, but not who she is. She's kind of just every tough, stubborn, smartass female lead you could see in maybe an Avengers OC fic on AO3. She really needed more distinct quirks and likes and dislikes, and I really fault them for cutting out her life on the Kree planet. It would have shown us so much more about her if we knew what her Kree life was like juxtaposed against her original human life, and it could up the stakes and help them sink it, and give more immediacy and concern to the dangers she faced.

-The villains were telegraphed. Again, people ding Marvel for this all the time. It's because they seem to struggle with balance. Often, the villains are thin to cut down the running time by not developing them at all. It's a shame. I've always found Jude Law very entertaining and I think they should have given him something to work with other than Obvious Bad Guy Pretending To Be Good. It was so transparent, much like the bitchy sister villain from Incredibles II. He might as well have been twirling a mustache. I mean, any dude who tells you your emotions are bad is probably not on the up-and-up. And it would have been better to see him and Carol square off at the end in an emotional battle than for it to just be a cheap shot and a joke. But I digress.

-While there was a lot of action, aside from the "Just a Girl" sequence, I will forget it all by morning. I think they wanted the movie to have mass appeal, so a lot of it comes across as generic. The stuff that stands out more are bits like finally seeing what alien Goose actually was or some of Fury's quips and the bits with Maria's daughter and Carol. The action itself is serviceable, but I'd have liked it to have more flavor if possible.

-Not outlining the limit to Carol's powers. This is going to be tough lining up with Endgame because she's so god-like we're gonna wonder if she just bitchslaps Thanos and that's the end. She feels overpowered without the chip limiting her, so I would have liked them to give us some kind of idea as to how she won't just wipe the floor with him in retribution in Endgame.

-Nitpick: Nick losing his eye to Goose annoyed me. People called it. I didn't want them to be right, but ugh, they were. It was a bit too silly for me.

-Nitpick: They really didn't need to waste our time with the second end credits being Goose puking up the Tesseract. We knew he did. You didn't have to show it, dummies.

-Nitpick: Was hoping for some 90's era cameos from at least one other Avenger, but no such luck. Damn. What a letdown.

I had fun, and I am eager to see her fit into the rest of the MCU. And I am also selfishly even more interested in Kamala Khan someday popping in as the new generation of heroes. Please, God, give me Kamala Khan. I want her and my son Peter Parker to team up and be the cutest superhero dorks ever. But until then...God help us all. Endgame is coming.

Enjoy the sunlight coming off of Ms. Danvers.

Because it's finna get dark up in here, my children.

See you in Endgame.

Kyo out.