#the mizora cheating dialogue is what reminded me to actually make this bcuz its another instance that he is willing to set boundaries

[bhaalrespawn]

i think a lot of the takes people have about astarion "secretly not actually being okay with being in a poly relationship with halsin" forget that he will literally turn down being in a poly relationship with literally any other character. he doesn't just "feel like he needs to go along with it". his responses to both asking about karlach and shadowheart both allude to the fact he is open to being in poly relationships, it's depending on the context:

i think the bit about "if shadowheart had more experience in these affairs" is the most telling, because that is what he highlights with why he's okay with halsin:

astarion is fully willing and able to turn tav down and set boundaries if he's truly uncomfortable with an arrangement.

the devnotes also do directly state that he's genuine when he tells you to go on with halsin so there's that.

(and before anyone brings it up: him asking if it's because you haven't had sex in a while is an instance of healthy communication. he's openly addressing a concern he has, and that's a good thing!)