#the murders of the waynes and uncle ben both just work better when the killer is just some random crook whose identity isn't important

[stairset]

One of my toxic traits as a superhero fan is when adaptations make the villain connected to the hero’s origin I sometimes like it and sometimes don’t and either way I usually have no specific reasoning for my opinion other than Vibes.

[scrawnydutchman]

A conversation Between Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker

Bruce: So . . . what made you want to be Spider-Man anyway?

Peter: Heh . . . “want” is a strong word. I never wanted this. Don’t get me wrong, the sticking to walls and tingle thing are cool, but . . .it’s not worth what it cost to get here.

Bruce: How do you mean?

Peter: I lost my uncle one night. It was my fault. After I got my powers I went to earn some money in a fighting ring and lied to him about it. He tried to teach me about responsibility and . . . I threw it back in his face. Then, a while later, some goon with a gun robbed the fight promoter who ripped me off. I could have stopped him . . . he literally ran right past me . . .but I didn’t. I thought it served the cheap bastard right.

But then my uncle Ben was murdered that night. I tracked down the killer, and--

Bruce: --It was the robber.

Peter: Heh. You really ARE the world’s greatest detective. Yeah. It was him. Every night since I can’t help but think . . . If I had just gotten my head out of my own ass for one second my uncle wouldn’t have paid the price. If only I had actually listened to him. Well . . .ever since then I figured . . . from then on I’m not going to let chances to do right pass me by. Great power, great responsibility, yadda yadda.

Bruce: I know a bit of what that’s like.

Peter: You do?

Bruce: When I was 10, my parents were shot down in front of me by a man with a gun.

Peter: Jesus

Bruce: Since then I made a vow to rid my city of the filth that took my parents lives. I would make criminals too afraid to pull the trigger and ruin families again. I dedicated my wealth, body, mind and soul to my cause. I think you and I are very much alike.

Peter: . . . All due respect, Bruce, but . . . I don’t think we’re very similar at all.

Bruce: Oh?

Peter: . .  . I mean yeah, we both suffered loss and became superheroes because of it, but . . . .the difference is what happened to me was my fault. You were just a kid.

Bruce: I was powerless to stop my parent’s death. I trained myself to attain power to assure it would never happen to anyone else again.

Peter: What about you? I mean . . .you’re going on and on about “dedicating your life to the cause” but . . . do you not do anything else? Do you party? See any women?

Bruce: I do as Bruce Wayne, yes. It helps maintain my cover.

Peter: Yeesh.

Bruce: What?

Peter: Forget cover, man. I’m not Peter Parker by day to throw enemies off the trail, y’know? I have a life outside of this gig . . . or at least I try to have one.

Bruce: How’s that working out for you?

Peter: Better than you would think. I mean yeah, my boss is a cheap asshole, things get testy with my girlfriend sometimes and this stuff really puts a damper on my college studies, but like . . . . at least I have something.

Bruce: What’s that supposed to mean?

Peter: You let your trauma rule your whole life. You don’t make any moves unless it serves “the bat” to do so. Don’t you wish you could have, like . . .a girlfriend? And I mean a REAL girlfriend, not just a fling to “maintain your cover”.

Bruce: . . . .Sometimes . . . There’s this cat burglar I sometimes recruit as my alley. What we have is . . . fun, in a non conventional sort of way.

Peter: When you say cat burglar you literally mean a hot girl themed after cats, don’t you? HOO BOY, I know a thing or two about that. Okay, so . . . don’t you ever wish you had more than what you have with that lady?

Bruce: I’m satisfied with how things are.

Peter: Bullshit. C’mon, man . . . . maybe some time you should trust her a little more. Take it from me: keeping your secret identity from the people you love can be a real BITCH and generally makes things harder. You’d be doing yourself a favor by letting her into your life.

Bruce: You make it sound so easy. Just a second ago you were talking about how hard it is to find a balance between Parker and Spider-Man.

Peter: Oh boy, is it. Sometimes I feel like giving up altogether. But man . . . . great responsibility isn’t the only lesson I took from my Uncle Ben. He wouldn’t want me to be a paranoid weirdo who thinks he’s not allowed to be happy. And . . . not that I know anything about your folks, but . . . if they really loved you, I don’t think they’d want that for you, either.

Bruce: Hmm . . . You’re a better man than me, Pete. For all the loss you endure you somehow find a way to maintain that chipper attitude. Y’know . . . there’s a madman I put away every once in a while. Calls himself the Joker. He’s convinced that all it takes is one bad day for someone to be as bad as him. But you . . . . you’ve endured more than many will experience in their whole lives and you somehow find a way to maintain yourself. I wish I had that strength.

Peter: You could if you wanted to. Making things better for yourself is a choice, Bats. None of us are a slave to anything. I could abandon everything I stand for tomorrow if I really wanted to . . .and sometimes I do want to. But I choose to keep going. Because nobody decides what Spider-Man OR Peter Parker is, but me. They can beat me to near death, take my loved ones, do any number of awful things to tare me down . . .but I’m in control of who I am. Not them.  You could do the same if you wanted, Bruce.

Bruce: I made a promise. I’m sticking to it.

Peter: Fine. That’s your choice too. But y’know . . . if ever you decide to break that promise for your own happiness . . . I think your parents will get over it. See ya around, Bruce. Best of luck with the kitty cat.

Bruce: Hey, Pete. Y’know, earlier you told me that what it cost for you to become Spider-Man wasn’t worth it. Maybe your uncle ben wouldn’t be too upset either if you decided to retire. And maybe . . . he doesn’t blame you for what happened.

Peter: hmm . . . . guess we’re sorta alike after all. See ya, Bats.