#the neighbours went to their home country for eid and they left us with their bird for us to take care of

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oh by the way. there's a bird in my house

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News that a Christian child was forced into Muslim foster care caused a furore earlier this year. But, despite the challenges, these families play a vital role in bringing up vulnerable children, says Sarfraz Manzoor

About 100,000 young people go through the fostering system every year. In recent years an increasing number of these have been child refugees from Muslim-majority countries such as Syria and Afghanistan, many arriving here traumatised and in need of care.

We estimate there is a shortage of 8,000 foster carers, says Kevin Williams, chief executive of the Fostering Network, and there is a particular shortage of Muslim foster carers.

Those featured here were nervous that their stories would be misreported, an issue highlighted recently in the story about a white Christian girl supposedly forced into Muslim foster care. The story was cited as emblematic of a greater clash between Islam and Christianity. It has also provoked fears that the media storm could deter Muslims from fostering at a time when the need for a more diverse pool of carers has never been greater.

Sajjad and Riffat

Just before Christmas seven years ago, Riffat and Sajjad were at home when the phone rang. It was the foster agency letting them know that three children theyd never met would be arriving shortly. The children two sisters and a brother were in urgent need of short-term care. Sajjad and Riffat had been approved as foster carers only two months earlier and these would be their first placements.

We were excited, but I was also a bit nervous, recalls Sajjad, 50. The couple had tried to start a family after they married, but fertility problems led to six failed cycles of IVF. They considered adopting, but eventually decided to sign up as foster carers.

Both are observant Muslims of Pakistani heritage. Riffat, 46, was wearing a headscarf when we met, and prays five times a day. How did they cope with the arrival of three white English children raised in a Christian household?

I will never forget that day, recalls Riffat, who grew up in Pakistan and moved to Britain after marrying in 1997. It really was like being thrown in the deep end. They bought chicken and chips from the local takeaway for the children and the support worker told the couple about the childrens bedtime routine.

Once the children were asleep, Sajjad headed out on an urgent shopping mission. We are Muslims and wed never had a Christmas tree in our home, says Riffat. But these children were Christian and we wanted them to feel connected to their culture. So he bought a Christmas tree, decorations and presents. The couple worked until the early hours putting the tree up and wrapping presents. The first thing the children saw the next morning was the tree.

I had never seen that kind of extra happiness and excitement on a childs face, remembers Riffat. The children were meant to stay for two weeks seven years later two of the three siblings are still living with them.

Riffat has grown used to surprised looks from strangers and people asking if the reason she has such fair-skinned children is because she married a white man. But she focuses on the positives in particular how fostering has given her and Sajjad an insight into a world that had been so unfamiliar. We have learned so much about English culture and religion, Sajjad says. Riffat would read Bible stories to the children at night and took the girls to church on Sundays. When I read about Christianity, I dont think there is much difference, she says. It all comes from God.

The girls, 15 and 12, have also introduced Riffat and Sajjad to the world of after-school ballet, theatre classes and going to pop concerts. I wouldnt see many Asian parents at those places, she says. But I now tell my extended family you should involve your children in these activities because it is good for their confidence. Having the girls in her life has also made Riffat reflect on her own childhood. I had never spent even an hour outside my home without my siblings or parents until my wedding day, she says.

Just as Riffat and Sajjad have learned about Christianity, the girls have come to look forward to Eid and the traditions of henna. Ive taught them how to make potato curry, pakoras and samosas, Riffat says. But their spice levels are not quite the same as ours yet. The girls can also sing Bollywood songs and speak Urdu.

I now look forward to going home. I have two girls and my wife waiting, says Sajjad. Its been such a blessing for me, adds Riffat. It fulfilled the maternal gap.

Shareen

Shareens longest foster placement is a young boy from Syria: He was 14 and had hidden inside a lorry. Photograph: Karen Robinson for the Observer

A British Pakistani, Shareen (and her husband Asif, 47), began fostering three years ago after three failed rounds of IVF. She has looked after children from many nationalities including Afro-Caribbean, Syrian, Egyptian and Pakistani.

When she first used to read the background reports about the children she looked after, Shareen, 48, was shocked at what theyd been through. I just could not believe that there could be children so deprived of love, she says. I was exposed to so much pain.

One 12-year-old boy she fostered, who had been diagnosed with ADHD, couldnt sleep each night. He would break the lightbulbs and chuck them in the neighbours garden. Whatever he could find in the room he would open up and unscrew and he would not come home at curfew time, she recalls. I would have to call the police every evening.

The key to coping, she says, was to try to understand the reasons behind the challenging behaviour. You have to look at the persons history, she says. No child is born to take drugs or join a gang. It has happened because nobody has cared for them. The boy ended up staying with Shareen for eight months.

She has also fostered children of Pakistani heritage and says there are some advantages. Two Pakistani children fitted right into the house because they understood our culture; we ate the same food and shared the same language, but when I had white children and I was out with them, people gave me funny looks.

Shareens longest foster placement arrived three years ago: a boy from Syria. He was 14 and had hidden inside a lorry all the way from Syria, she says. The boy was deeply traumatised. They had to communicate via Google Translate; Shareen later learned Arabic and he picked up English within six months. She read up on Syria and the political situation there to get an insight into the conditions he had left.

It took ages to gain his trust, she says. I got a picture dictionary that showed English and Arabic words and I remember one time when I pronounced an Arabic word wrong and he burst out laughing and told me I was saying it wrong that was the breakthrough.

The boy would run home from school and whenever they went shopping in town, he kept asking Shareen when they were going back home. She found out why: He told me that one day he left his house in Syria and when he had come back, there was no house. Now hes 18, speaks English fluently and is applying for apprenticeships. He could move out of Shareens home, but has decided to stay. He is a very different person to the boy who first came here, she says, and my relationship with him is that of a mother to her son.

Fostering has, she says, helped her to be more resilient, patient and confident. I used to worry about who was doing better than me or earning more money, she says. But after meeting these children, those things just dont matter to me anymore.

Homayun and Parvin

We thought we had done well and it was time we paid something back to society: Homayun and Parvin. Photograph: Karen Robinson for the Observer

Two years ago Homayun, who came to the UK from Afghanistan in 1979, was watching the news when he saw the footage of a three-year-old Syrian boy washed up on a beach in Turkey. I thought to myself that we had done well in this society. We had been educated, got jobs and we also had a spare room. It was time we paid something back to society.

So he and his wife, Parvin, 44, applied to become foster carers. The process took 12 months and, at the start of this year, they welcomed two boys from Afghanistan and Kuwait now 15 and 12. We would have welcomed children from anywhere, including Britain, says Homayun, but I was especially interested in caring for children from war-torn countries because that was the experience I had been through.

Homayun, 51, owns a garage business and the couple have their own son, 16. My father was an activist and he was under house arrest, he says. We fled to Britain a few months before the Russians invaded the country. I know what it is like to live in a country that doesnt have freedom, human rights and a right to education I had that in common with the boys we were fostering. His Afghan foster son had travelled from Afghanistan to Iran and then to Turkey, where he had boarded a boat to Greece. From there he travelled to France before finally reaching Britain. His Kuwaiti foster son had been smuggled on to a plane using false identification. When he first met them Homayun was struck by how quiet the children were.

They would not speak and it took a few months to bring them out of themselves and get them to open up. The boys did not speak each others languages and relied on Google Translate. It was very challenging and difficult at first, says Homayun. But now the younger boy goes to school on his own, and uses public transport.

Although they share the same Muslim background, he would never force his own beliefs on his foster children. If I had a Christian child and they wanted to go to church, I would take them to church. If I had a Jewish child who wanted to go a synagogue, I would make sure they go there.

Homayun also encourages them to talk to their families back in their own countries. In Afghanistan the parents talk to their son regularly via Skype. They want him to receive something here that he never had there an education, he says. Leaving Afghanistan is a gamble; sometimes it pays off and other times it doesnt and parents can lose their children.

Both boys now call him Uncle or Baba and are starting to speak English well. If they can leave my house and go and achieve something in their lives, says Homayun, something that they could not have done in their own countries, that would be a satisfying job done.

Homayun chose to foster as a way of giving something back to society, but in fact both he and his wife found that the experience has enriched all of them in ways they could not have predicted.

Their son, who has autism, is now learning to share and communicate, and has started speaking in sentences. He enjoys having the two boys in the house and they go cycling and play football, he says. Fostering has done the whole family so much good.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/dec/03/muslim-foster-parents-it-has-been-such-a-blessing

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EVERY year, President Muhammadu Buhari celebrates the Muslim big Sallah, known as Eid-el-Kabir, in his Daura hometown, Katsina State with his kinsmen and well-wishers.

President Buhari, the Emir of Daura, Alhaji Umar Faruq, among others, observing the two rakat Eid-el-Kabir prayers at the Kofar Arewa Eid praying ground This year the tradition didn’t change.

ADVERTISING inRead invented by Teads The only difference is that it was the first time the natives would be seeing the President in flesh and blood since he returned from London where he stayed for more than 100 days receiving treatment for an undisclosed ailment.

So controversial was the medical vacation that it was not only rumoured at some point that he was on life support, he was also said to be dead.

This created disquiet among Daura folks who comforted themselves with prayers that their kinsman will not die.

Relief came their way when Buhari returned to the country last month and decided to celebrate Sallah in Daura.

The President arrived Daura, penultimate Wednesday, in a helicopter from Katsina where he had landed in the presidential plane. On arriving Daura, his kinsmen gave him a tumultuous welcome as thousands of people waited to receive him at the helipad, hailing him as he walked to his home, a short distance away, amid tight security.

On Sallah day, penultimate Friday, natives trooped en-masse to the Kofar Arewa Eid Ground where Buhari prayed to catch a glimpse of Mr. President.

Despite the fact that security was tight at the praying ground and the natives were subjected to long queues by security agencies using sophisticated gadgets to screen them before being allowed in, they patiently waited to gain entrance.

Buhari arrived the eid ground at about 9:45 am to a standing ovation after which the two rakat prayers, led by the Chief Imam of Daura Central Mosque, Imam Salisu Rabiu, commenced and lasted two minutes.

The faithful, who were eager to see the President, ferociously waved at him and he responded by walking close to the barricaded area to wave back at the mammoth crowd as they chanted “Sai Baba”.

Earlier, the Emir of Daura, Alhaji Umar Faruq, who prayed alongside the President, had grabbed the microphone and, in excitement following the recovery from ill health and safe return of their son, said the natives were proud of Buhari.

He stated that God had put to shame those who were wishing him dead.

Faruq then prayed for the President to complete his remaining two years of his first term in power and another four years.

The Emir called on well-wishers not to relent in their prayer for Buhari to lead the nation to greater heights.

Buhari’s return brought relief to natives – 76 – year – old resident

A 76 – year-old Daura resident, who identified himself as Mai Anguwa Alhassan Chadi, told Sunday Vanguard, in an interview after the Sallah prayer, that Buhari remained their hero because of his pro –people nature, saying his visit had afforded the natives the opportunity to confirm he had fully recovered from his sickness.

“We are relieved to see him hale and hearty”, he said

Chadi said that, like most Daura natives, he was very sad and worried when Mr. President was away on medical vacation coupled with the raging rumour that he was dead.

“We are most happy with the return of Buhari to the country healthy and his visit to his folks for Sallah celebrations. I feel happy to the extent that, at night and sometimes till day break, I still listen to the radio to know how he is faring”, the septuagenarian said

“We were not happy when he was away on medical vacation to the UK. We were worried. But when he returned, we became happy and relieved.

“We were praying God to eliminate and destroy those wishing him dead”.

I can’t quantify my joy – Daura

Another native, 57-year-old Muhammadu Rabiu Daura, said he was excited with the return of the President and could not quantify how joyful he was.

Adnan Na Abu, who also spoke to Sunday Vanguard, described Buhari’s return to the country and visit for the celebrations as momentous.

“President Muhammadu Buhari’s visit for Sallah has electrified the whole town. Everybody is in high spirit”, Abu said.

“He made it a tradition to celebrate Sallah at home even when he was a military head of state. So it is something that has been happening for decades. But what makes this one different is seeing Mr. President in our midst after going on medical vacation and returning safely and fully recovered”.

To Ahmed Ahijdo Wali, Buhari’s visit added colour to the Eid – el – Kabir celebrations in Daura as people were jubilating that he returned safely from the UK.

“We performed the two rakat eid prayer with Mr. President and we saw him in good health”, Wali told Sunday Vanguard excitedly.

“Buhari’s visit for Sallah saw natives jubilating like never before. People were very happy. In fact, on his arrival, people in their thousands went to welcome him and so massive was the crowd that the President had to abandon his car to walk from the helipad to his house. And for the Sallah, people thronged the traditional eid ground, the Emir’s eid prayer ground, including people from Niger, just to see President Buhari. The occasion was most colourful”.

Why Nigeriens came –Kallah

The Treasurer, Buhari Youth Congress for Change, BYCC, Yawale Musa Kallah, who also spoke to Sunday Vanguard, confirmed that well-wishers from the neighbouring Niger republic joined Daura natives to celebrate the President’s full recovery from illness, safe return to Nigeria from the UK and visit to his ancestral home for Sallah, saying they also thronged the eid praying ground to catch a glimpse of Buhari.

“Daura was agog for the visit of the President for Sallah and being the first time after his medical vacation”, Kallah said.

“He arrived the eid ground to a rousing welcome and the prayer commenced immediately. After the prayer, the faithful waved to him in excitement. They chanted ‘Sai Baba’. He waved back to the mammoth crowd”.

Meanwhile, natives and well-wishers kept visiting the President in Daura.

Among the well-wishers was Governor Aminu Bello Masari who paid Sallah homage to Buhari alongside the Emir of Daura penultimate Saturday.

The Nigerien leader also visited.

The National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, members in Daura zone were not left out as they thronged the President’s residence to show their solidarity.

Strategic areas of Daura, including the road leading to Buhari’s residence, were decorated with the President’s posters, banners and billboard.

Buhari returned to Abuja on Wednesday.

Courtesy: Vanguard Newspaper